Nickelback Song Quotes

I cracked the top and peered in, confused by the contents. Why did Catherine have strips of paper stashed away? Turning the envelope over, I let them spill out on her desk. I chose one and read her neat handwriting. P.S. You remind me of porridge. Frowning, I read it again and again, but clarification didn’t dawn. What was this? I read more, one by one. P.S. Your cyborg is showing. P.S. I bet you sing Barry Manilow in the shower. P.S. You wear pleated khakis on the weekend. I just know it. It took me until the fourth strip to realize they were all exactly one inch wide and the paper matched the notebook. Son of a bitch. I scooped the strips back into the envelope and carried them into my office. There, I dumped them all out again and matched one perfectly to Catherine’s previously written schedules. My heart slammed in my chest, but my brain was five steps behind. I read more of them, still trying to comprehend what I was seeing. P.S. Are you even human? P.S. Do you shower in your bathing suit? P.S. You’ve memorized the lyrics to every single Nickelback song, haven’t you? P.S. I would rather be trapped in an invisible box with a mime before hanging out with you.

Now maybe it’s just me, but erosion into a constantly churning North Atlantic seems one of those universal constants, like death, taxes, and bad Nickelback songs. Of course, to be fair, I am not a scientist, archeologist, or a member of Nickelback. So, really, who am I to say?

She…” He squeezes his eyes shut. “She doesn’t like Nickelback. And I…” His Adam’s apple bobs. “I love them. There—I said it. Nickelback is my absolute favorite band of all time, and my own wife can’t stand them.” “Brant…” “You have no idea what it’s been like.” He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “We’ll be in the minivan together, and ‘How You Remind Me’ will come on the radio, and she’ll say to me, ‘Shut that awful music off.’ She says they… they’re super fake, and their songs are made for… entirely commercial reasons.” His voice trembles dangerously, threatening to break. “She says that… they’re not even a real band. She says nobody really likes them, and there must be something wrong with me.” He lets out a strangled cry. “And now you probably think there’s something wrong with me too.