Mel Robbins Quotes

You can’t control how you feel. But you can always choose how you act.

Start before you're ready. Don't prepare, begin.

You need to hear this loud and clear: No one is coming. It is up to you.

You Are One Decision Away from a Completely Different Life

There will always be someone who can't see your worth. Don't let it be you

If you only ever did the things you don’t want to do, you’d have everything you’ve ever wanted.

You have been assigned this mountain so that you can show others it can be moved.

Your feelings don’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you DO.

Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.

The 5 Second Rule The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.

There’s one thing that is guaranteed to increase your feelings of control over your life: a bias toward action.

That’s the problem with so many adults, we’re all focused on getting it perfect, instead of trying. What ever happened to good enough?

I was the problem and in five seconds, I could push myself and become the solution.

Passion is not a thing, it's a state of mind.

That’s what it takes to get what you want. Not big scary leaps once a year. It takes small, but irritating moves every single day.

Facebook is nothing but heavily packaged “Kodak moments” that bear no relation to how people really live.

Life is gritty and hard and then suddenly it is brilliant and amazing.

it’s not the big moves that change everything—it’s the smallest ones in your everyday life that do.

When it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself. That

I may not be perfect, but I am worthy.

Procrastination is not a form of laziness at all. It’s a coping mechanism for stress.

I have a hard time finding the balance between not beating myself up when it doesn’t happen as fast as I’d like it to, and not wasting time while I wait for it to happen.

Resistance loves surfing the Web, vegging out in front of the TV, sticking to routine, not picking up the phone, hitting snooze, avoiding confrontation, making excuses, rumination, and isolation.

Win or lose, at least I'm doing something.

Change your decisions and you’ll change your life. And what will change your decisions more than anything? Courage.

Every phase of your life and career will require a different you. Using the Rule, you’ll become the person you’re meant to become in this next phase of your life.

pushing yourself to take simple actions creates a chain reaction in your confidence and your productivity.

If you have the courage to start, you have the courage to succeed.

Focusing on what you can’t control makes you stressed. Focusing on what you can control makes you powerful.

There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.

IN any area of your life that you want to change, adopt this rule. Just do the things that you don’t want to do.

You aren't battling your ability to stick to a diet, execute a business plan, repair a broken marriage and rebuild your life, hit your goals, or win over a bad manager- you are battling your feelings about doing it. You are more than capable of doing the work to change anything for the better, despite how you feel. Feelings are merely suggestions, ones you can ignore. To change you must do the same, you must ignore how you feel, and just do it anyway.

We are all capable of greatness. I believe that. It is our feelings and fears that convince us now is not the right time and keep us from achieving greatness.

You also need to learn how to give people the space to have those feelings and not make it mean anything about you.

What Exactly Is the #5SecondRule? The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change. Metacognition,

It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.

The more you use the Let Them Theory, the more you’ll realize that, underneath this fear, your soul has been nudging you all along in the direction that is meant for you.

Anytime there’s something you know you should do, but you feel uncertain, afraid, or overwhelmed…just take control by counting backwards 5- 4- 3- 2- 1. That’ll quiet your mind. Then, move when you get to “1.” Counting

But when you’re stuck, the major task is deciding if you’re going to change at all. The challenge is finding the ability, in the face of an overwhelming amount of resistance, to create a small change in your life and build on it.

If you can’t get yourself out of bed, then you’ll never be able to pursue all of the other changes that you want to make in your life. And if you take that simple step of taking control of your mornings, you’ll catalyze a chain of events that leads to change everywhere.

There is only one you. And there will never be another one. Thats your power

You do the same thing every time you whine about problems but do nothing to fix them.

What I discovered is powerful: pushing yourself to take simple actions creates a chain reaction in your confidence and your productivity.

Will it be your Heart that wins, or your Fear?

We are all so afraid of uncertainty that we want a guarantee before we even try. We want evidence that if we take a risk we will "get the girl" Its a numbers game. To play any game, you have to start. To win, you need to keep going. If you want to make your dreams come true, get ready for the long game. Life is not a one and done sort of deal. You've got to work for what you want. Picasso created nearly 100 masterpieces in his lifetime. But what most people don't know is that he created a total of more then 50,000 works of art. .. Thats two pieces of art a day. Success is a numbers game. You are not going to win if you keep telling yourself to wait. The more often that you choose courage, the more likely you'll succeed.

My point is simple: Adults will have negative opinions about you and everything you do. Let Them judge. Let Them react. Let Them doubt you. Let Them question the decisions you are making. Let Them be wrong about you. Let Them roll their eyes when you start posting videos online or you want to rewrite the manuscript for the 12th time. Instead of wasting your time worrying about them, start living your life in a way that makes you proud of yourself. Let Me do what I want to do with my one wild and precious life.

Forget motivation; it’s a myth. I don’t know when we all bought into the idea that in order to change you must “feel” eager or “feel” motivated to act. It’s complete garbage. The moment it’s time to assert yourself, you will not feel motivated. In fact, you won’t feel like doing anything at all.

You change your life one five-second decision at a time. In

That’s an instinct reminding you of the goal. That’s your inner wisdom, and it’s important to pay attention to it, no matter how small or silly that instinct may seem.

if you find yourself riddled with self-doubt: the world didn’t say, “You can’t have this.” YOU did.

Whatever is happening right now, this is it. This is your life. And it’s not going to begin again. You can’t change the past, but in five seconds you can change your future.

It’s so sad because waiting for validation will be the death of your dreams.

The more I said Let Them, the more time I had for myself. Time to think. Time to breathe. Time to have fun. Time to spend on what mattered to me. Time to take care of myself.

Seth Godin once wrote “a different part of our brains is activated when we think about what’s possible rather than what’s required.” I believe the same is true when we think about being courageous, rather than focusing on the fears that stop us. It’s the difference between focusing on the solution rather than the problem, and that tiny switch is mentally liberating.

If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, Let Them. If the person that you’re really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, Let Them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, Let Them. So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations. And the truth is, if somebody else—a person you’re dating, a business partner, a family member—if they’re not showing up how you need them to show up, do not try to force them to change. Let Them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just Let Them and then you get to choose what you do next.

Right before we’re about to do something that feels difficult, scary or uncertain, we hesitate. Hesitation is the kiss of death. You might hesitate for a just nanosecond, but that’s all it takes. That one small hesitation triggers a mental system that’s designed to stop you. And it happens in less than—you guessed it—five seconds.

Pick a plan to follow, any plan will do—and then 5- 4- 3- 2- 1-GO. The only thing you will need to choose after that is choosing each and every day to DO IT

This is where the #5SecondRule comes into play—you don’t have to want to do it, you just have to push yourself to do it.

The problem was very clear. It was me. I was holding myself back, five seconds at a time.

You have no idea how much easier things could be if you stopped being so hard on yourself.

When it comes to your dreams, you have two choices: pursue them or be haunted by them.

if you can’t value yourself, you will look for validation from other people.

Your mind is designed to help you achieve your dreams. Your job is to believe it is possible and encourage yourself to keep walking toward it.

Your dreams are your responsibility. No one is coming.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. —GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

your relationship with yourself is the foundation of every relationship you have in life.

You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.

Waiting around for something to change will slowly kill you.

You’ll never feel like doing what you must do.

If you want to make your dreams come true, get ready for the long game.

Acceptance of another person, as they are, is the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. When someone feels that you accept them as they are, they feel safe with you. The opposite happens when you pressure, change, criticize, push, or expect someone to behave differently than they are. This pressure puts you and your loved one in a battle for control,

We’re discovering that many of our feelings are just a kind of sophisticated shorthand for all sorts of complex calculations that are constantly occurring in the back of your brain. Your

Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out. Stop waiting. It’s now or never. When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating. You are doing something more dangerous. You are deliberately convincing yourself “now is not the time.” You are actively working against your dreams.

I owe my morning routine to Duke University professor Dan Ariely. According to Ariely, the first two to three hours of the day are the best hours for your brain, once you fully wake up. So, if you pop out of bed at 6 a.m., your peak thinking and productivity window is 6:30 a.m. to 9 a.m. And so on.

People only heal when they are ready to do it for themselves. These are deeply personal, difficult battles. . . and they can only be fought by that person when they’re ready to fight. You cannot make them fight. You cannot make them get sober. You cannot make someone financially responsible. You cannot make them heal.

That’s why the theory only works if you say both parts. When you say Let Them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people’s behavior to bother you. When you say Let Me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next.

The Let Them Theory is not about superiority at all. It’s about balance. It’s about making room for both you and someone else. It’s about giving other people the space and the grace to live their lives—and then giving yourself the same.

I’ve made this mistake. I thought, If I can just make their life easier, I make change easier, right? Wrong. There is a huge difference between trying to make someone’s pain go away and offering support that allows them to do the work themselves.

People avoid healing because they do not believe they can face the pain they are running from. So Let Them borrow their belief from you. Because when someone feels accepted, loved, and supported, it’s easier for them to believe in their ability to step back into life too.

Marriages suffer from this same cycle. You start dating someone with wonder and anticipation, drunk on love. You romanticize everything about your partner, and even mundane activities like going to the grocery store together can seem like a fantastic date. But then you fall into a routine, and years later, you’ve become roommates, circling the same safe topics while packing lunches, the monotony broken only by occasional date nights. Deep down, you know why these parts of your life have gone stale. It’s because nothing new is happening. You may say you fear change, but the lack of change in your life is why you feel so blah. Monotony will drive any human relationship or endeavor into a ditch.

That’s one of my biggest takeaways from using the Let Them Theory: You will never be able to control what is happening around you. You will also never be able to control your emotional responses, because they are automatic—just like how your stress response turns on automatically. But you can always choose what you think, say, or do in response to other people, the world around you, or the emotions that are rising up inside of you. That’s the source of all your power.

jealousy is simply blocked desire. If you could flip that jealousy into inspiration, the block would disappear. If you could celebrate jealousy as a sign of your next big step in life, it immediately lifts the burden of frustration and insecurity you feel, and gets you moving forward with a high five attitude again.

The reason to make a herculean effort, or to show up both at your friend’s birthday party and to see your grandparents, is that it makes YOU proud of yourself. Don’t go to your friend’s birthday so they think you are a good friend. Go to your friend’s birthday because it makes YOU feel like a good friend. Don’t go home to see your grandparents because it makes your mother happy. Go home to see your grandparents because it makes YOU happy to prioritize your grandparents and family.

action is the answer. Thinking about your problems will never solve them. Waiting around to feel like doing something means you’ll never do it. It taught me that no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself from yourself. You have to force yourself to make little moves forward, all day, every day, especially when you don’t feel like it.

Small things are not small at all. They are the most important things of all. And they add up.

If you don’t learn how to untangle your feelings from your actions, you’ll never unlock your true potential.

If you have one of those impulses that are pulling you, if you don’t marry it with an action within 5 seconds, you pull the emergency break and kill the idea.

it’s not the big moves that define our lives; it’s the smallest ones.

The lynchpin to your happiness at work is whether or not you have a manager who cares about you.

Never feel bad about asking for what you deserve. Never hint about something as important as a commitment. Being able to have honest conversations is the foundation of a loving and healthy relationship. So don’t fear this, embrace it. If the relationship is meant to be, this conversation will make it stronger. A real conversation only destroys something that is fake.

The 5 Second Rule.” Just like NASA uses a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown to launch a rocket, I counted down 5-4-3-2-1 to launch myself into action before my negative thoughts pinned me down. I’m dead serious. Alarm rings. No staring at the ceiling. No panic attack. No snooze button. No rolling over and shoving your head under the pillow to blot out the day. 5-4-3-2-1: kick your own ass.

When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating. You are doing something more dangerous. You are deliberately convincing yourself “now is not the time.” You are actively working against your dreams.

First, it’s never your job to manage another adult’s emotions. When someone pulls the silent treatment on you, or plays the victim, or erupts in frustration, Let Them. And then I want you to visualize an eight-year-old trapped inside their body. When you do that, something wild happens. You don’t feel scared of this person. You actually pity them. You feel compassion instead of contempt.

Life is not a one and done sort of deal. You've got to work for what you want. Picasso created nearly 100 masterpieces in his lifetime. But what most people don't know is that he created a total of more then 50,000 works of art. .. Thats two pieces of art a day. Success is a numbers game. You are not going to win if you keep telling yourself to wait. The more often that you choose courage, the more likely you'll succeed.

They’ve told themselves they suck so many times over the years and compiled so much evidence that it is true that this belief is now programmed into their subconscious mind. That’s why the person you love will even argue with you when you tell them how great you think they are.

And if you understand that emotions are a normal part of life, and that adults are allowed to feel the ups and downs and can survive it, you would be more courageous. It’s not your job to protect everybody else from feeling emotions. Your job and responsibility is to live your life in a way that is aligned with your values, and in a way that gets you. Sometimes that’s going to hurt someone. It’s going to disappoint them. It’s going to cause pain or heartbreak knowing that your decision will hurt someone else—and it’s going to be one of the hardest things you’re going to do in life. When I know my actions may disappoint or upset someone, I find it helpful to remember Dr. Damour’s framing that negative emotions are a mentally healthy response to life’s upsets. People are allowed to be upset when you change your mind, and disappointed or heartbroken when you break up. People are allowed to be depressed when they lose their job. So how do you do this, and how do you manage the excruciating level of guilt and discomfort YOU are going to feel when you make a hard decision that you know is the right decision for you?

Here’s how you use the Let Them Theory to process your own emotions in a healthy way: When you feel your emotions rising up, Let Them. Allow the anger, the frustration, the hurt, the disappointment, the sadness, the grief, the tears, and the feelings of failure to come up. Let Them. And then, Let Me not react. Don’t reach for your phone. Don’t turn on the TV. Don’t make a drink. Don’t open the fridge. And for crying out loud, don’t text anyone. Just notice the feelings and Let Them rise up. The reason why you must learn how to Let Them rise is that once they do, they also fall.

Emotions are also contagious. Seeing someone else sad, afraid, disgusted, or angry can cause you to experience these same emotions in your own body. This explains why someone else’s tone of voice, their shift in energy, their bad mood, and their body language can immediately trigger you to feel on edge. And one more thing to understand is that whenever you or another person are hungry, or tired, or stressed-out, or under the influence, or lonely, or angry, or hurt, you’ll be even more emotional. I say this because whenever I do or say something I later regret, there is usually stress, alcohol, or hunger involved. Knowing all this helps me to make the changes to better manage my emotions and helps me stay in control of what I say, do, and think.

Forget motivation; it’s a myth. I don’t know when we all bought into the idea that in order to change you must “feel” eager or “feel” motivated to act. It’s complete garbage. The moment it’s time to assert yourself, you will not feel motivated. In fact, you won’t feel like doing anything at all. If you want to improve your life, you’ll need to get off your rear end and kick your own butt. In my world, I call that the power of a push.

First of all, your very existence is so miraculous you should feel seen and celebrated! First, the odds of you being born are one in a million because your mom carries over one million eggs during her lifetime. Crazy, but that’s not even close to the mathematical phenomenon you are. Based on recent research, scientists have figured out that the egg that formed you was choosy and could determine which of your father’s 250 million sperm cells it wanted to connect with. If the egg that created you chose any other sperm, your sibling would be holding this book because you never would have been born.