Mentally Abusive Relationship Quotes

My dad had limitations. That's what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.

The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.

Instead of saying, "I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues" say "I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over.

With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.

The central attitudes driving the Water Torturer are: You are crazy. You fly off the handle over nothing. I can easily convince other people that you’re the one who is messed up. As long as I’m calm, you can’t call anything I do abusive, no matter how cruel. I know exactly how to get under your skin.

Shout out to everyone transcending a mindset, mentality, desire, belief, emotion, habit, behavior or vibration, that no longer serves them.

Those who fail to exhibit positive attitudes, no matter the external reality, are seen as maladjusted and in need of assistance. Their attitudes need correction. Once we adopt an upbeat vision of reality, positive things will happen. This belief encourages us to flee from reality when reality does not elicit positive feelings. These specialists in "happiness" have formulated something they call the "Law of Attraction." It argues that we attract those things in life, whether it is money, relationships or employment, which we focus on. Suddenly, abused and battered wives or children, the unemployed, the depressed and mentally ill, the illiterate, the lonely, those grieving for lost loved ones, those crushed by poverty, the terminally ill, those fighting with addictions, those suffering from trauma, those trapped in menial and poorly paid jobs, those whose homes are in foreclosure or who are filing for bankruptcy because they cannot pay their medical bills, are to blame for their negativity. The ideology justifies the cruelty of unfettered capitalism, shifting the blame from the power elite to those they oppress. And many of us have internalized this pernicious message, which in times of difficulty leads to personal despair, passivity and disillusionment.

The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her. Friends say: “He treats you that way because he can get away with it. I would never let someone treat me that way.” But she knows that the times when she puts her foot down the most firmly, he responds by becoming his angriest and most intimidating. When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later. Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He will promise to change. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance. He’ll get severely depressed, causing her to worry whether he’ll be all right. And, depending on what style of abuser he is, she may know that he will become dangerous when she tries to leave him. She may even be concerned that he will try to take her children away from her, as some abusers do.

The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to selfishness. Verbal explosions when he is irritated or when he doesn’t get his way. Her grievances constantly turned around on her, so that everything is her own fault. His growing attitude that he knows what is good for her better than she does. And, in many relationships, a mounting sense of fear or intimidation. But the woman also sees that her partner is a human being who can be caring and affectionate at times, and she loves him. She wants to figure out why he gets so upset, so that she can help him break his pattern of ups and downs. She gets drawn into the complexities of his inner world, trying to uncover clues, moving pieces around in an attempt to solve an elaborate puzzle.

IN ONE IMPORTANT WAY, an abusive man works like a magician: His tricks largely rely on getting you to look off in the wrong direction, distracting your attention so that you won’t notice where the real action is. He draws you into focusing on the turbulent world of his feelings to keep your eyes turned away from the true cause of his abusiveness, which lies in how he thinks. He leads you into a convoluted maze, making your relationship with him a labyrinth of twists and turns. He wants you to puzzle over him, to try to figure him out, as though he were a wonderful but broken machine for which you need only to find and fix the malfunctioning parts to bring it roaring to its full potential. His desire, though he may not admit it even to himself, is that you wrack your brain in this way so that you won’t notice the patterns and logic of his behavior, the consciousness behind the craziness.

The abuser’s mood changes are especially perplexing. He can be a different person from day to day, or even from hour to hour. At times he is aggressive and intimidating, his tone harsh, insults spewing from his mouth, ridicule dripping from him like oil from a drum. When he’s in this mode, nothing she says seems to have any impact on him, except to make him even angrier. Her side of the argument counts for nothing in his eyes, and everything is her fault. He twists her words around so that she always ends up on the defensive. As so many partners of my clients have said to me, “I just can’t seem to do anything right.” At other moments, he sounds wounded and lost, hungering for love and for someone to take care of him. When this side of him emerges, he appears open and ready to heal. He seems to let down his guard, his hard exterior softens, and he may take on the quality of a hurt child, difficult and frustrating but lovable. Looking at him in this deflated state, his partner has trouble imagining that the abuser inside of him will ever be back. The beast that takes him over at other times looks completely unrelated to the tender person she now sees. Sooner or later, though, the shadow comes back over him, as if it had a life of its own. Weeks of peace may go by, but eventually she finds herself under assault once again. Then her head spins with the arduous effort of untangling the many threads of his character, until she begins to wonder whether she is the one whose head isn’t quite right.

The central attitudes driving Mr. Right are: You should be in awe of my intelligence and should look up to me intellectually. I know better than you do, even about what’s good for you. Your opinions aren’t worth listening to carefully or taking seriously. The fact that you sometimes disagree with me shows how sloppy your thinking is. If you would just accept that I know what’s right, our relationship would go much better. Your own life would go better, too. When you disagree with me about something, no matter how respectfully or meekly, that’s mistreatment of me. If I put you down for long enough, some day you’ll see.

Staying in an unhealthy relationship that robs you of peace of mind, is not being loyal. It is choosing to hurt yourself mentally, emotionally and sometimes, physically.

Narcissists are very retaliative if they believe another has achieved what they desire, exposed their insecurities, or refused to be under their control.

THE MYTHS ABOUT ABUSERS 1. He was abused as a child. 2. His previous partner hurt him. 3. He abuses those he loves the most. 4. He holds in his feelings too much. 5. He has an aggressive personality. 6. He loses control. 7. He is too angry. 8. He is mentally ill. 9. He hates women. 10. He is afraid of intimacy and abandonment. 11. He has low self-esteem. 12. His boss mistreats him. 13. He has poor skills in communication and conflict resolution. 14. There are as many abusive women as abusive men. 15. His abusiveness is as bad for him as for his partner. 16. He is a victim of racism. 17. He abuses alcohol or drugs.

Carl Jung wrote: “The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.

When a man’s face contorts in bitterness and hatred, he looks a little insane. When his mood changes from elated to assaultive in the time it takes to turn around, his mental stability seems open to question. When he accuses his partner of plotting to harm him, he seems paranoid. It is no wonder that the partner of an abusive man would come to suspect that he was mentally ill. Yet the great majority of my clients over the years have been psychologically “normal.” Their minds work logically; they understand cause and effect; they don’t hallucinate. Their perceptions of most life circumstances are reasonably accurate. They get good reports at work; they do well in school or training programs; and no one other than their partners—and children—thinks that there is anything wrong with them. Their value system is unhealthy, not their psychology.

To make matters worse, everyone she talks to has a different opinion about the nature of his problem and what she should do about it. Her clergyperson may tell her, “Love heals all difficulties. Give him your heart fully, and he will find the spirit of God.” Her therapist speaks a different language, saying, “He triggers strong reactions in you because he reminds you of your father, and you set things off in him because of his relationship with his mother. You each need to work on not pushing each other’s buttons.” A recovering alcoholic friend tells her, “He’s a rage addict. He controls you because he is terrified of his own fears. You need to get him into a twelve-step program.” Her brother may say to her, “He’s a good guy. I know he loses his temper with you sometimes—he does have a short fuse—but you’re no prize yourself with that mouth of yours. You two need to work it out, for the good of the children.” And then, to crown her increasing confusion, she may hear from her mother, or her child’s schoolteacher, or her best friend: “He’s mean and crazy, and he’ll never change. All he wants is to hurt you. Leave him now before he does something even worse.” All of these people are trying to help, and they are all talking about the same abuser. But he looks different from each angle of view.

Although healing brings a better life, it also threatens to permanently alter life as you’ve known it. Your relationships, your position in the world, even your sense of identity may change. Coping patterns that have served you for a lifetime will be called into question. When you make the commitment to heal, you risk losing much of what is familiar. As a result one part of you may want to heal while another resists change.

I had to beg for your forgiveness and scream for your mercy.” ~Love is respect ♥~

In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood incest victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest. Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology. According to this theory any young girl actually desires sexual contact with her father, because she wants to compete with her mother to be the most special person in his life. Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of incestuous abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for when they were children and that the women had come to believe were real. This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men. Once abuse was denied in this way, the stage was set for some psychologists to take the view that any violent or sexually exploitative behaviors that couldn’t be denied—because they were simply too obvious—should be considered mutually caused. Psychological literature is thus full of descriptions of young children who “seduce” adults into sexual encounters and of women whose “provocative” behavior causes men to become violent or sexually assaultive toward them. I wish I could say that these theories have long since lost their influence, but I can’t. A psychologist who is currently one of the most influential professionals nationally in the field of custody disputes writes that women provoke men’s violence by “resisting their control” or by “attempting to leave.” She promotes the Oedipus complex theory, including the claim that girls wish for sexual contact with their fathers. In her writing she makes the observation that young girls are often involved in “mutually seductive” relationships with their violent fathers, and it is on the basis of such “research” that some courts have set their protocols. The Freudian legacy thus remains strong.

I had a lot of tire marks on my heart and mind, but I used those marks and scars to survive.” ~Love is respect ♥~

The ‘love’ we had was dead before it started. I am not willing to revive something that isn’t worth saving.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You is a thorn on my side that caused me to bleed to death, but I never had the strength to take it out.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Your anger always got the best of you and me. Your emotional abuse was at an all-time high. ~Love is respect ♥~

I isolated myself from people on purpose, because I didn’t want any problems. I didn’t want to feed your starving low-self-esteem.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I feel like I am frozen with fear, and the walls are closing in on me.” ~Love is respect ♥~

My heart is swollen from the hurt and abuse.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Many struggles lay within my soul. I had many battles in my head, and when I tell you I had to work on myself...it wasn’t easy.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Every day, I laid in your bed I was your prey.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Unlike people with other mental disorders, psychopaths are keenly aware of the impact that their behavior has on others. That’s half the fun for them—watching people suffer.

I was your ‘yes’ girl. That was the problem, I never told you ‘no’ because I tried to fix you. I learned it is impossible to fix the pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be bits of pieces scattered that are not repairable.” ~Love is respect ♥~

One thing I notice, a person can change everything about themselves, but one thing they cannot change is their character. They can hide in the shadows, but sooner or later, the shadows will eventually fade away.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You thought I was weak because you tore me apart with your words. The sad thing is…you thought you were in control, but you never were…no you never were because you were never in control of yourself.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Love is surrounding you, just like the sunbeam on the flowers that gives them the energy to grow.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Smile, you rose above it all because Life is good ♥” ~Love is respect ♥~

Your manipulations were so powerful to the point that I psyched myself out. Love is a dangerous game—with you, I lost every single time.” ~Love is respect ♥~

People see my body, but my soul is lost, and I do not have anything left to give.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Your verbal abuse was torture.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Walking away has a different definition than leaving and never returning. I walked away, and within a couple of weeks, I returned to my abuser.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Sometimes we have to slow down to enjoy the smallest things that we wouldn’t ever take the time to notice.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I let another human being dictate and control my life. I was used for amusement, and the joke was on me.” ~Love is respect ♥~

How can I respect a person who neglected me on purpose? To earn respect, you have to give it.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I wasted my life on a hopeless and helpless soul who would never be willing to change—nor would she/he feel remorse or see her/his errors.” ~Love is respect ♥~

As I walk in my truth, you are like a ghost in the wind that will never be found again.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I was dying on the inside because I willingly gave you my soul. I was crying nearly every day on the outside because I trusted you...” ~Love is respect ♥~

Our soul ties were beyond toxic.” ~Love is respect ♥~

It is not my shit, nor is it my problem. I am free and loving it! In that order!” ~Love is respect ♥~

I do know is at the beginning and end of the day, I know I paid my dues.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not trying to dissect yourself worth to others or even yourself.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You thought I was weak because you tore me apart with your words. The sad thing is, you thought you were in control, but you never were... no, you never were, because you were never in control of yourself.” ~Love is respect ♥~

My heart has been bruised, and the scars will never heal because they will always be visible. Maybe they need to be visible as a reminder that I cannot go back.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Life is giving you another chance to plant your seeds. Take care of them by watering them, nurturing them throughout all seasons, and watch your flowers bloom.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Unlike any other mental disorder, psychopaths are keenly aware of the impact that their behavior has on others. That’s half the fun for them—watching you suffer. They pick up on insecurities and vulnerabilities in a heartbeat, and then make the conscious choice to exploit those qualities. They know right from wrong, and simply choose to steamroll straight through it.

However, the other side kept asking me over and over again, was it worth it? Was it worth being bitter and angry all the time? It showed me that I was killing myself slowly every single day. My heart was heavy, and my brain felt like it was going to explode. I had had enough.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You said you loved me to hold on to me. All I did was fight with you, day in and day out. I wasn’t ever your enemy. You were your own worst enemy, you just happened to keep me in your shadow.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You only said you loved me to hold on to me. All I did was fight with you day in and out. I wasn’t ever your enemy. You were your own worst enemy, you just happened to keep me in your shadow.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Life is short, but I never thought my life would end this way. I have myself to blame for that. I saw all of the red flags, but I ignored them one at a time. Every time I ignored them, I was buying more time, I received more time, and I gambled with the time that I was given. It shows you that buying time is temporary because sooner or later time runs out.” ~Love is respect ♥~

At the beginning of the day, it is all about the choices I make. It is about what I am willing to sacrifice—one thing I do know, I am not willing, and I do not want to sacrifice my life for anyone.” ~Love is respect ♥~

When a person says they are tired, they have more to give. When a person is done, there is no turning or looking back. There’s no such thing as looking over your shoulder. Bury it, leave it be, and let it rot.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I can overcome my illness of attachment.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Loving you had a lot of consequences that I never dodged.” "~Love is respect ♥~

Mentally, I am in prison. The only thing I am allowed to do is think...think...think...of the ‘what if’s’ and the consequences I have to endure.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Nagging from family and friends doesn’t help me or people like me that are in an abusive or complicated relationship.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Mentally, my heart is swollen, I manage to smile on the inside.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You know, we walk around and only notice the outside of things, but we never take the time to look on the inside.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I have to do better. I have to own up to the choices I made in life.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not trying to dissect your self-worth to others or even yourself.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I have been flying blind, deeply in love with blindfolds on because I didn’t value my life, and now I am suffering the consequences.” ~Love is respect ♥~

My thoughts are haunting me because the truth has set me free.” ~Love is respect ♥~

You pulled through like a falling star that has risen and now owns its spot.” ~Love is respect ♥~

All the lonely tears I cried were my choice.” ~Love is respect ♥~

When some people hurt you, they do it on purpose and keep it moving. It is up to us to let that shit go...if we don’t, we will always and forever be walking down a dark, gloomy road filled with anger and hate in our heart as it takes over our soul and way of life. It isn’t worth it.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I conclude, at the beginning of the day, it is all about the choices I make. It is about what I am willing to sacrifice—one thing I do know, I am not willing, and I do not want to sacrifice my life for anyone, not even for you.” ~Love is respect ♥~

C-PTSD sufferers who experienced abuse may engage in mental arguments with their abusers long after the abuse has ended. Most people with C-PTSD experienced ongoing abuse from someone (or multiple people) who repeatedly betrayed their trust, and blamed them for this betrayal. They were made the scapegoat of someone else’s shame, which eventually caused them to absorb this shame themselves.

Bullies do not just wake up and decide to be one. They are people who have or are experiencing emotional or verbal abuse. All you can do is not retaliate but show them love. Doing so, allows them see what they are missing and need. You can let them see the other side of life when you show love not hurt. After all, we are all products of love and we must choose to demonstrate that above all else.

There were times when I thought I had to take sides. One side of me wanted me to stay bitter because it felt like I was a sellout. That side of me kept me busy day in and out. When it came to that side of me, it made me a prisoner. It drew a thick line between war and peace. Nevertheless, that side made me so bitter and angry all the time. I never had peace...and sadly, I never smiled. I gave people power over me because I was always angry.” ~Love is respect ♥~

In my opinion, the definition of soul ties is darkness in a dreadful and fearful place. Someone that is unhealthy for you, however, feeds you fear, because they know you will believe it.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Your words manipulated me, and I fell for it every single time. Your eyes and words were like a snake. I was hypnotized by your lies. You squeezed me to the point that I suffocated, died mentally, came back to life, and was under your spell. Loving you was cruel, but the craziest thing about it all was that my dumb ass somehow felt safe.” ~Love is respect ♥~

We all are going through something in life. Some of us are battling demons that are in our way or our inner demons. Either way, we can accept it or make the choice to want better for ourselves. It won’t be easy, more than likely, it will be a challenge, but it will be worth it in the end.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Some survivors can be wary of most people, yet blinded by compassion toward fellow survivors or others who suffer — or who pretend to suffer, or exaggerate their sufferings, in order to take advantage of the survivor. Some survivors overidentify with other survivors, not realizing that even if someone was traumatized or suffers in a similar way, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is honest. Being either overly suspicious or overly trusting can create problems with a partner who is able to judge the sincerity of others more realistically.

But no matter how carefully we schedule our days, master our emotions, and try to wring our best life now from our better selves, we cannot solve the problem of finitude. We will always want more. We need more. We are carrying the weight of caregiving and addiction, chronic pain and uncertain diagnosis, struggling teenagers and kids with learning disabilities, mental illness and abusive relationships.

After you walked into my life, I was living and walking in fear every single day. You hypnotized me, and once upon a time, you were my favorite sin. I was exposed to evil in the worst way ever, but I know whether I survive in this coma or not, I have released any blocks, roots, soul ties, and attachments that once held me down.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I again invoke my favorite analogy for eating disorders: abusive lovers. And what do you do when someone is in an abusive relationship? You don’t allow visitation rights, weekly dates. You don’t put them in the vicinity of or let the abuser flirt with them. You keep them the fuck away.

Honesty can force any dysfunction in your life to the surface. Are you in an abusive relationship? A refusal to lie to others – How did you get that bruise? – would oblige you to come to grips with this situation very quickly. Do you have a problem with drugs or alcohol? Lying is the lifeblood of addiction. If we have no recourse to lies, our lives can unravel only so far without others noticing. Telling the truth can also reveal ways in which we want to grow but haven’t.

Love was a losing game. We never found love in our relationship because our so-called love was never built. We couldn’t build love in our relationship because it was all a lie. Our relationship was toxic, and our troubles multiplied. We never got anywhere. The only thing we did was dig a bigger hole than there was before. Without words, we distracted each other’s peace.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Like most people who decide to get sober, I was brought to Alcoholics Anonymous. While AA certainly works for others, its core propositions felt irreconcilable with my own experiences. I couldn't, for example, rectify the assertion that "alcoholism is a disease" with the facts of my own life. The idea that by simply attending an AA meeting, without any consultation, one is expected to take on a blanket diagnosis of "diseased addict" was to me, at best, patronizing. At worst, irresponsible. Irresponsible because it doesn't encourage people to turn toward and heal the actual underlying causes of their abuse of substances. I drank for thirteen years for REALLY good reasons. Among them were unprocessed grief, parental abandonment, isolation, violent trauma, anxiety and panic, social oppression, a general lack of safety, deep existential discord, and a tremendous diet and lifestyle imbalance. None of which constitute a disease, and all of which manifest as profound internal, mental, emotional and physical discomfort, which I sought to escape by taking external substances. It is only through one's own efforts to turn toward life on its own terms and to develop a wiser relationship to what's there through mindfulness and compassion that make freedom from addictive patterns possible. My sobriety has been sustained by facing life, processing grief, healing family relationships, accepting radically the fact of social oppression, working with my abandonment conditioning, coming into community, renegotiating trauma, making drastic diet and lifestyle changes, forgiving, and practicing mindfulness, to name just a few. Through these things, I began to relieve the very real pressure that compulsive behaviors are an attempt to resolve.

I knew you were bad for me, and I still couldn’t let you go. I suffered because I kept going back. Every day, when I laid in your bed, I was her prey. I was used and abused. I was once a person with high self-esteem. The first day we crossed paths, I got caught in your web, and I didn’t even try to break free. You didn’t let me come up for air, because you kept drowning me with your lies and abuse one after another. You were a thorn in my side that caused me to bleed to death, but I never had the strength to take it out.” ~Love is respect ♥~

The first day, we crossed paths, I got caught in her web, and I didn’t even try to break free. She didn’t let me come up for air, because she kept drowning me with her lies and abuse, one after another. She was a thorn in my side that caused me to bleed to death, but I never had the strength to take it out.” ~Love is respect ♥~

How to Win Against an Abuser? I get this question all the time, and my answer is always the same: Don’t try to win. As soon as we engage in this win/lose mentality, we abandon our hearts and forget what’s really important: vulnerability and love. Yes, absolutely you should remove toxic people from your life, but it should be from the perspective of self-love, not “winning.” As long as we maintain this false illusion of control, we’re still connected to the person in our psyches. A hallmark of C-PTSD is fantasizing about gaining some power over an otherwise powerless situation.

I think about all of the times I’ve knocked on death’s door. The flashbacks give me the strength to want to fight, but they always make me realize I was given chance after chance to change my life. I guess I thought I was untouchable, and life would continue to toss a coin— when I tossed a coin in the air, I always use to say heads, and there it was—I won. Therefore, I always gambled with my life, and now I do not have room to gamble anymore, because I am here. Life is kicking my ass because the only thing I can do is think of the past and think about the what-ifs.” ~Love is respect ♥~

When people bury you in the sand, what they fail to realize is that the tides come in slowly but surely. When the tides come in slowly, start wiggling your way out, so by the time the huge tides arrive, you are already out and dusting the sand off. They never take the time to look back to see how you do it, they just think you drown. When they wonder why and how you made it, it’s because they made you stronger. They also don’t realize—there’s always a solution to a problem.” ~Love is respect ♥~

I have been broken down many times before—and I am always the one who is left to pick up the pieces. Most of the time, there are too many pieces to pick up, so I leave them where they lay and never look back. I have to be honest with myself, that is one of my mistakes, instead of walking away, I should have picked up the pieces. That way, I would have learned and grown from what was left behind.” ~Love is respect ♥~

Dedicated to every strong soul who is in a domestic violence relationship, please know that you are not alone. There is no need to swim against the tides. Release your fear and know you are loved, wanted, cared for, and you are someone very special. You are strong enough to sweep the fear from your soul. You are bold enough to look fear in the eyes because, after all, you are the one who holds the keys to unlock how you want your life to be. You have what it takes to grab life by the hand because life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, and loved. ~Love is respect ♥~

If you realize you are in an abusive relationship, you may want to call this phone number—it’s toll-free so it won’t cost you anything and it won’t show up on your phone bill. If possible, take the number with you and call from somewhere else: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Seventy-nine-nine, seventy-two, thirty-three. If you have children and your spouse is abusing them physically, mentally, or sexually, leave now. It never takes courage to leave. It takes love.

Here is a short form list of what is happening to your life: 1. You are practicing hate. 2. You are practicing violent abuse toward your parents and to your own family. 3. The way you treat your parents causes them physical and emotional pain. 4. The way you treat your parents causes them to develop mental diseases such as PTSD, depression, obsessive thoughts, low self esteem, aggressive and self destructive behavior, distrust of entering relationships, isolation, anxiety, panic attacks and obsessive thought of suicide. 5. The way you treat your parents causes them to develop physical illnesses such as chronic toxic stress which leads to inflammation of body organs which leads to heart attacks, arthritis, and irritable bowel syndrome. 6. The way you treat your parents produces feelings of abandonment and ostracism which is experience as physical pain on a

To begin with, there is an almost compulsive promiscuity associated with homosexual behavior. 75% of homosexual men have more than 100 sexual partners during their lifetime. More than half of these partners are strangers. Only 8% of homosexual men and 7% of homosexual women ever have relationships lasting more than three years. Nobody knows the reason for this strange, obsessive promiscuity. It may be that homosexuals are trying to satisfy a deep psychological need by sexual encounters, and it just is not fulfilling. Male homosexuals average over 20 partners a year. According to Dr. Schmidt, The number of homosexual men who experience anything like lifelong fidelity becomes, statistically speaking, almost meaningless. Promiscuity among homosexual men is not a mere stereotype, and it is not merely the majority experience—it is virtually the only experience. Lifelong faithfulness is almost non-existent in the homosexual experience. Associated with this compulsive promiscuity is widespread drug use by homosexuals to heighten their sexual experiences. Homosexuals in general are three times as likely to be problem drinkers as the general population. Studies show that 47% of male homosexuals have a history of alcohol abuse and 51% have a history of drug abuse. There is a direct correlation between the number of partners and the amount of drugs consumed. Moreover, according to Schmidt, “There is overwhelming evidence that certain mental disorders occur with much higher frequency among homosexuals.” For example, 40% of homosexual men have a history of major depression. That compares with only 3% for men in general. Similarly 37% of female homosexuals have a history of depression. This leads in turn to heightened suicide rates. Homosexuals are three times as likely to contemplate suicide as the general population. In fact homosexual men have an attempted suicide rate six times that of heterosexual men, and homosexual women attempt suicide twice as often as heterosexual women. Nor are depression and suicide the only problems. Studies show that homosexuals are much more likely to be pedophiles than heterosexual men. Whatever the causes of these disorders, the fact remains that anyone contemplating a homosexual lifestyle should have no illusions about what he is getting into. Another well-kept secret is how physically dangerous homosexual behavior is.

Is it possible nevertheless that our consumer culture does make good on its promises, or could do so? Might these, if fulfilled, lead to a more satisfying life? When I put the question to renowned psychologist Tim Krasser, professor emeritus of psychology at Knox College, his response was unequivocal. "Research consistently shows," he told me, "that the more people value materialistic aspirations as goals, the lower their happiness and life satisfaction and the fewer pleasant emotions they experience day to day. Depression, anxiety, and substance abuse also tend to be higher among people who value the aims encouraged by consumer society." He points to four central principles of what he calls ACC — American corporate capitalism: it "fosters and encourages a set of values based on self-interest, a strong desire for financial success, high levels of consumption, and interpersonal styles based on competition." There is a seesaw oscillation, Tim found, between materialistic concerns on the one hand and prosocial values like empathy, generosity, and cooperation on the other: the more the former are elevated, the lower the latter descend. For example, when people strongly endorse money, image, and status as prime concerns, they are less likely to engage in ecologically beneficial activities and the emptier and more insecure they will experience themselves to be. They will have also lower-quality interpersonal relationships. In turn, the more insecure people feel, the more they focus on material things. As materialism promises satisfaction but, instead, yields hollow dissatisfaction, it creates more craving. This massive and self-perpetuating addictive spiral is one of the mechanisms by which consumer society preserves itself by exploiting the very insecurities it generates. Disconnection in all its guises — alienation, loneliness, loss of meaning, and dislocation — is becoming our culture's most plentiful product. No wonder we are more addicted, chronically ill, and mentally disordered than ever before, enfeebled as we are by such malnourishment of mind, body and soul.

Never Underestimate the Divine Strength of a Mother who appears Broken..... This phrase, in the most reciprocal form, is powerful. A broken woman is perceived as weak, battered, useless, and incapable, among many other low states of Human life, effortlessly causing her to think it might be best to lie down and die. The thought represents a desperation to escape a pain more powerful than she. There is, but one superseding power, greater than the pain itself. You take this woman, who loves her kids to the highest degree of unselfishness and give her a hint they’re suffering. A Divine Strength that can’t be seen, perhaps not even felt will ignite a fire within her from miles away. No one in its path will see it coming, not even her. This strength indicates that she will go beyond any limits to protect her offspring even if it means rising to her death. There’s no mountain too high, no fire too crucible, nor a fear she won’t face, to ensure they are safe, both mentally and physically. The best part is, no matter how broken down she appears, or how robbed she may be, no one can take from her, what they don’t know she possesses. Following the exhaustion of all other choices, this strength is activated, only when it’s most necessary. It may never be discovered in a lifetime by many, but you can bet it’s there when you need it most. It’s in every one of us, festering, waiting for what may be the last moments of life or death.

If your boundaries have been injured, you may find that when you are in conflict with someone, you shut down without even being aware of it. This isolates us from love, and keeps us from taking in safe people. Kate had been quite controlled by her overprotective mother. She’d always been warned that she was sickly, would get hit by cars, and didn’t know how to care for herself well. So she fulfilled all those prophecies. Having no sense of strong boundaries, Kate had great difficulty taking risks and connecting with people. The only safe people were at her home. Finally, however, with a supportive church group, Kate set limits on her time with her mom, made friends in her singles’ group, and stayed connected to her new spiritual family. People who have trouble with boundaries may exhibit the following symptoms: blaming others, codependency, depression, difficulties with being alone, disorganization and lack of direction, extreme dependency, feelings of being let down, feelings of obligation, generalized anxiety, identity confusion, impulsiveness, inability to say no, isolation, masochism, overresponsibility and guilt, panic, passive-aggressive behavior, procrastination and inability to follow through, resentment, substance abuse and eating disorders, thought problems and obsessive-compulsive problems, underresponsibility, and victim mentality.