Luigina Sgarro Quotes

Autumn is an interesting season, even in the metaphor of life, is a time of decline, of loss, but also intense and haunting beauty. Some places, like some people, never are, or have been, as beautiful in their fall.

When we miss someone, often, what we really miss is the part of us that with this someone awakens.

Reading a great novel gives the same feeling you have when you fall in love.

The highest indifference is when indeed you ignore you are ignoring someone.

It may happen that we miss people that we took care of more than we miss those who took care of us, because the desire to love and the search for meaning, together, are stronger than the desire to be loved.

People aren't things., we cannot lose them nor someone can take them away from us. They choose to leave.

Insecurity takes on various disguises. Cockiness and arrogance are among the most common.

What are narcissists looking for, after all? Just someone at their level that they can feel superior to.

It may happen that we miss the people we took care of more than we miss those who took care of us because the desire to love and the search for meaning are stronger than the desire to be loved.

I am always looking for rainbows, literally and metaphorically, only that I am starting to think that I could learn more from my journey if, from time to time, I were brave enough to stay in the rain longer.

If we lived the plans we do more as bets than as forecasts, we would be less anxious and more prepared for the unexpected.

We spend most of our lives looking for reassurance from others until we find that others are looking for reassurance from us. And somebody has to stop this.

If you feel, looking at the pain of others, more pain than they actually feel, it is no longer empathy or compassion, it is projection.

There is no communication that is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.

Giving is a way of asking; asking is a way of giving.

I prefer to die fighting than living defeated

To be with the right person cannot solve all your life's problem, on the other hand, being with the wrong one can create many.

Relationships are tested by distance, love is put to the test by closeness.

We are vulnerable, not fragile, but our desire to go through life without feeling pain makes us feel fragile.

I don't think I would like to be immortal, not out of boredom about life but out of curiosity about death.

I think there is a substantial difference between hypocrisy and diplomacy: hypocrisy is not saying things, diplomacy is knowing how to say things.

In long-standing relationships, sometimes, it's not that the other person become marginal, rather you tend to consider your partner a part of yourself and, as for your arm, even if you never say how important it is to you, it would be terrible if it wasn't there.

Last Sunday I went to an art exhibition, among the visitors there was a guy with one leg missing. He had two crutches with which he moved nimbly among the visitors. I looked at him in admiration, wondering how easy it looked. Then it occurred to me that many of us are like that, we have got used to living without pieces of our heart and soul and we go on as if nothing had happened. And, looking at us from the outside, it seems easy.

What we really cannot forgive others it is not that they don't do what we want them to do but that they don't do it willingly.

If we fear people who can shadow us, we will stay with those who do not give off any light.

We really love someone when we miss even the things we don't like of them.

Many of the most charming women I know possess at least on cat or dog. Maybe after getting used to an affectionate quadruped it is hard to settle for a man.

Unfortunately, love is more often an alibi than a reason.

When you feel you are incomplete you can always console yourself with the idea of being infinite.

If we could imagine, while we live them, to what mundane moments nostalgia manages to stick itself...

Many do not see that not to have dreams is far worse than seeing that their dreams do not come true.

There is the freedom you have when you are alone and there is the freedom that you have next to someone else. Blessed are those in which those two freedoms coincide.

Cynophilist: paradoxical being that often despises man and adores the dog, apparently, mainly because of the unconditional love that the latter has for the first.

If you want to foresee the behavior of someone, their personality is a better predictor than their intelligence.

Everyone wants to get to the top but not everyone is willing to walk uphill.

Sometimes deception is in our eyes and we need to believe more than others need to lie.

There is no worse thing that can be done to some people than to show them a solution to the problems they complain about.

You are never so a stranger as when you become a stranger.

Insomnia can be a gift. More time for reading, writing and walking. More time to live.

Great men when they get power become even greater. Little men whent they get power become even smaller. Unfortunately little men tend to aspire to power more than great ones.

The love of the present is just a love of the past that hasn't had enough time.

I recognize the beauty of moments. It's with the minutes that things get complicated.

That pain is sometimes necessary to stay alive is something that we accept much more easily when it comes to avoiding the death of our body than when it comes to avoiding the death of our soul.

The ease with which unsolicited help is offered and the reluctance with which help is given when - instead - it is asked, should make us reflect on the real motivations behind so-called "altruistic" actions.

Every time we think we notice another person's mistake we can delude ourselves that we are superior to them, but it is only when we notice our own mistake that we can be sure that we are surpassing ourselves.

There is no such thing as perfect communication; there is effective communication, which is a process of feedback and progressive adjustments. The delusion that perfect communication is possible generates a frustration that damages our relationships and personal lives.

I believe in love and I believe that a healthy love stems from love for oneself, so it is never desperate, even in the worst event, in which the other leaves us sorry to die in the fullness of love, a true feeling turns that into energy to go forward with joy and even more strength than before. True love leaves no room for despair, true love is beyond hope.

I once suggested to one of my patients that she should have a small funeral ceremony to bury the idea she had of a certain person, because she kept chasing that image even in the face of substantial evidence of its actual nonexistence. Then I asked her to prepare a small headstone to honor, in private. Not all the dead are really dead or were really alive, but that does not make parting with them a lesser loss.

We do not have to do with others as "they really are" but with our idea of them. This means that the experience of loss occurs both when we really lose someone and when this someone, for whatever reason, no longer corresponds to the idea we had of him. It is an inner grief just as strong and from which we often defend ourselves, as long as we can, through denial. Denial ends when the energy needed to deny becomes superior to what it takes to process the loss and move on.

The opinion that one cannot express an opinion, however potentially harmful, is the most dangerous of all. The only effective way that I know of to fight an idea that we believe to be potentially damaging to our values, principles, ideals, is to try to support the validity of alternative points of view. The more you talk about something or someone or prevent them from expressing themselves, the more you give them strength, even - and perhaps above all - when you talk about them badly.

If we were honest with ourselves we would know that what we fear is not to hurt others for fear of their suffering but for fear of the suffering that we ourselves would feel for this evil.

Only when you read the adjective "professional" on the wrapping of a roll of toilet paper do you understand how profound the economic crisis in the country is.

At first, the wings weighed more than the chains, because with the chains we were not required to fly

Freedom is also to understand that what the world thinks of us is less important for our well-being than what we think of the world.

Our ability to forgive depends more on how much we love than on how much we are loved.

There is nothing like having something important to do that we do not want to do to get us to deal with those little trivial things we've been postponing for a long time.

Someone can accept an impossible challenge because deep within they believe it possible. Possible and impossible can be assessed differently by a woman and a man. My possible may seem impossible to you, my limit may be your challenge. And vice-versa.

Sometimes we are more attached to the pain than the pain is attached to us.

Our childhood dies little by little, and its agony is the history of our lives.

Everyone can achieve success, far fewer are those who know how to keep it, fewer still are those who manage to derive happiness from it.

Curiosity killed some cats, but only after giving them a wonderful life.

We end up being strangers to those who have known us for too long.

We often throw away what we still have so as not to regret what we have already lost.

I often hear someone say, "Other people don't like me because I tell the truth." No, that is not why others do not like them. Others do not like them because they say what they think and have the pretension that it is the truth.

We always fall in love with ourselves. We don't fall in love with the eyes, we fall in love with a glance and how we see ourselves reflected in it.

life are the shreds that courage snatches from existence

I do not believe that grief unites, pain is a unique experience, in its intensity, in its expression, in its mixture with other emotions, other feelings, with one's history, with one's hopes and despairs. That is why one can never really say: I join in your pain, or understand your pain. Other people's pain cannot be fully understood, it isolates, it divides. Grief is one of the most intimate experiences of the human being. That is why it is also useless to say 'leave me alone with my sorrow': with pain we are always alone.

In the end, I think certain things are so successful because people love to have something to badmouth.

Perhaps, in the end, only those who really made us laugh can really make us cry.

Siamo vulnerabili, non fragili, ma il nostro desiderio di attraversare la vita senza provare dolore ci fa sentire fragili.

The cruelest thing is love that leads us to deal with the parts of ourselves that we do not want to see, and this is what, in fact, we do not forgive each other.

Our age: more "communication experts" that important things to say.

Some revolutions resemble restorations, at least at first glance.

I'm glad I do not have a rebellious nature, so I am not forced to do things just because others do not want.

I problemi visti da vicino sono sempre più complessi da comprendere ma meno difficili da risolvere che visti da lontano.

There is one thing worse than making a thing wrong: doing badly a right thing.

Se due persone non riescono a essere felici insieme e non riescono a esserlo lasciandoci, è possibile che, semplicemente, non siano capaci di essere felici.

In hate feeling there is a more or less subtle estimation component. You do not hate those who take advantage or prevails over someone who is incapable or weak (albeit temporarily), you can at most despise them.

Sometimes to guide my choices is not the validity of the arguments of a party but the stupidity of the other arguments.

Almost no one reads poems, almost everyone listens to songs. And if songs were, nowadays, a way to get people to poetry and poetry to people?

There are things done so badly that one is tempted to think that there is an intention behind.

I like snorkeling, it's the only thing I'm able to do that makes me think I can fly.

If you don't want to do without a person is not the same thing of wanting to be with that person. Maybe it's one of the differences between addiction and love.

At the end of your life there will be many people you won't be acquainted with. Make sure you are not among them.

Dignity and pride are not only two different feelings, but, in some ways, opposites. You can step on your pride to preserve your dignity. You can destroy your dignity because of your pride.

They use fear to control us, they control us to make us afraid. One more reason to be brave.

Beauty is not perfection, it is what makes us understand the uselessness of perfection.

You understand how much you know about a subject the moment you give explanations to someone who doesn't know anything about it.

All'inizio le ali pesano più delle catene, perché con le catene non ci era richiesto di sollevarci in volo.

I am available to make mistakes, I only prefer to make new ones.

Why so many wounded people look for forgiveness from who has injured them?

Everyone tends to evaluate others starting from themselves. This is a disadvantage for people with a negative attitude, because they constantly underestimate and condemn others, and it is a disadvantage for those with a positive attitude, because they constantly overestimate and justify others. On the other hand, the latter experience better the intervals between the effects of one bad evaluation and another.

Leadership is not only what others do when you are there, but also what the team achieves when you are absent, because of what you did when you were there.

As a psychologist, I often hear from people with different backgrounds than mine: 'You know, I'm a bit of a psychologist myself'. I now invariably reply: "When I get home, I turn on the light: I'm a bit of an electrician myself...".

Beware of those who seek the Truth, because they believe there is only one and will settle for the first they find.

Some people prefer control over a few things to power over many, and this is one of the main obstacles to delegation and the growth of wealth and people.

There is an ideal place between stagnation and frenzy, where one savors the moments without indulging in inertia, allowing oneself to be cradled by possibility. In this place, resides freedom.

To grow a forest requires the right soil, favourable climatic conditions, sometimes the patient work of caretakers over many years. All it takes to make it burn is a single match thrown by a madman in an instant. To break the silence of a crowd, a shout is enough. To dirty a square, cleaned by the patient work of many, all it takes is a single drunken madman. To do good requires many people united, to do evil requires only one. We are in danger of overestimating the number of wicked or even just ignorant people and underestimating the number of generous people who care about the common good. Let us not be discouraged by the folly of a few, there are many of us. Let us stand united.

What we really do not forgive those we love is not that they do not do what we want but that they do not want what we want.

You are never truly autonomous until you learn when and who to ask for help.