Luigina Sgarro Quotes

Autumn is an interesting season, even in the metaphor of life, is a time of decline, of loss, but also intense and haunting beauty. Some places, like some people, never are, or have been, as beautiful in their fall.

When we miss someone, often, what we really miss is the part of us that with this someone awakens.

Reading a great novel gives the same feeling you have when you fall in love.

The highest indifference is when indeed you ignore you are ignoring someone.

It may happen that we miss people that we took care of more than we miss those who took care of us, because the desire to love and the search for meaning, together, are stronger than the desire to be loved.

What are narcissists looking for, after all? Just someone at their level that they can feel superior to.

Insecurity takes on various disguises. Cockiness and arrogance are among the most common.

People aren't things., we cannot lose them nor someone can take them away from us. They choose to leave.

It may happen that we miss the people we took care of more than we miss those who took care of us because the desire to love and the search for meaning are stronger than the desire to be loved.

I am always looking for rainbows, literally and metaphorically, only that I am starting to think that I could learn more from my journey if, from time to time, I were brave enough to stay in the rain longer.

If we lived the plans we do more as bets than as forecasts, we would be less anxious and more prepared for the unexpected.

I think there is a substantial difference between hypocrisy and diplomacy: hypocrisy is not saying things, diplomacy is knowing how to say things.

We spend most of our lives looking for reassurance from others until we find that others are looking for reassurance from us. And somebody has to stop this.

There is no communication that is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.

If you feel, looking at the pain of others, more pain than they actually feel, it is no longer empathy or compassion, it is projection.

I prefer to die fighting than living defeated

Giving is a way of asking; asking is a way of giving.

I don't think I would like to be immortal, not out of boredom about life but out of curiosity about death.

Relationships are tested by distance, love is put to the test by closeness.

We are vulnerable, not fragile, but our desire to go through life without feeling pain makes us feel fragile.

In long-standing relationships, sometimes, it's not that the other person become marginal, rather you tend to consider your partner a part of yourself and, as for your arm, even if you never say how important it is to you, it would be terrible if it wasn't there.

Last Sunday I went to an art exhibition, among the visitors there was a guy with one leg missing. He had two crutches with which he moved nimbly among the visitors. I looked at him in admiration, wondering how easy it looked. Then it occurred to me that many of us are like that, we have got used to living without pieces of our heart and soul and we go on as if nothing had happened. And, looking at us from the outside, it seems easy.

If we could imagine, while we live them, to what mundane moments nostalgia manages to stick itself...

Many do not see that not to have dreams is far worse than seeing that their dreams do not come true.

When you feel you are incomplete you can always console yourself with the idea of being infinite.

Cynophilist: paradoxical being that often despises man and adores the dog, apparently, mainly because of the unconditional love that the latter has for the first.

There is the freedom you have when you are alone and there is the freedom that you have next to someone else. Blessed are those in which those two freedoms coincide.

To be with the right person cannot solve all your life's problem, on the other hand, being with the wrong one can create many.

I recognize the beauty of moments. It's with the minutes that things get complicated.

Sometimes deception is in our eyes and we need to believe more than others need to lie.

The love of the present is just a love of the past that hasn't had enough time.

Everyone wants to get to the top but not everyone is willing to walk uphill.

If you want to foresee the behavior of someone, their personality is a better predictor than their intelligence.

We really love someone when we miss even the things we don't like of them.

Many of the most charming women I know possess at least on cat or dog. Maybe after getting used to an affectionate quadruped it is hard to settle for a man.

Unfortunately, love is more often an alibi than a reason.

Great men when they get power become even greater. Little men whent they get power become even smaller. Unfortunately little men tend to aspire to power more than great ones.

Insomnia can be a gift. More time for reading, writing and walking. More time to live.

There is no worse thing that can be done to some people than to show them a solution to the problems they complain about.

You are never so a stranger as when you become a stranger.

We end up being unknown to those who have known us for too long.

What we really cannot forgive others it is not that they don't do what we want them to do but that they don't do it willingly.

That pain is sometimes necessary to stay alive is something that we accept much more easily when it comes to avoiding the death of our body than when it comes to avoiding the death of our soul.

The ease with which unsolicited help is offered and the reluctance with which help is given when - instead - it is asked, should make us reflect on the real motivations behind so-called "altruistic" actions.

Every time we think we notice another person's mistake we can delude ourselves that we are superior to them, but it is only when we notice our own mistake that we can be sure that we are surpassing ourselves.

There is no such thing as perfect communication; there is effective communication, which is a process of feedback and progressive adjustments. The delusion that perfect communication is possible generates a frustration that damages our relationships and personal lives.

I believe in love and I believe that a healthy love stems from love for oneself, so it is never desperate, even in the worst event, in which the other leaves us sorry to die in the fullness of love, a true feeling turns that into energy to go forward with joy and even more strength than before. True love leaves no room for despair, true love is beyond hope.

I once suggested to one of my patients that she should have a small funeral ceremony to bury the idea she had of a certain person, because she kept chasing that image even in the face of substantial evidence of its actual nonexistence. Then I asked her to prepare a small headstone to honor, in private. Not all the dead are really dead or were really alive, but that does not make parting with them a lesser loss.

We do not have to do with others as "they really are" but with our idea of them. This means that the experience of loss occurs both when we really lose someone and when this someone, for whatever reason, no longer corresponds to the idea we had of him. It is an inner grief just as strong and from which we often defend ourselves, as long as we can, through denial. Denial ends when the energy needed to deny becomes superior to what it takes to process the loss and move on.

The opinion that one cannot express an opinion, however potentially harmful, is the most dangerous of all. The only effective way that I know of to fight an idea that we believe to be potentially damaging to our values, principles, ideals, is to try to support the validity of alternative points of view. The more you talk about something or someone or prevent them from expressing themselves, the more you give them strength, even - and perhaps above all - when you talk about them badly.

I problemi visti da vicino sono sempre più complessi da comprendere ma meno difficili da risolvere che visti da lontano.

Se due persone non riescono a essere felici insieme e non riescono a esserlo lasciandoci, è possibile che, semplicemente, non siano capaci di essere felici.

Siamo vulnerabili, non fragili, ma il nostro desiderio di attraversare la vita senza provare dolore ci fa sentire fragili.

Almost no one reads poems, almost everyone listens to songs. And if songs were, nowadays, a way to get people to poetry and poetry to people?

Some revolutions resemble restorations, at least at first glance.

There are things done so badly that one is tempted to think that there is an intention behind.

I like snorkeling, it's the only thing I'm able to do that makes me think I can fly.

At the end of your life there will be many people you won't be acquainted with. Make sure you are not among them.

The cruelest thing is love that leads us to deal with the parts of ourselves that we do not want to see, and this is what, in fact, we do not forgive each other.

Our age: more "communication experts" that important things to say.

There is one thing worse than making a thing wrong: doing badly a right thing.

In hate feeling there is a more or less subtle estimation component. You do not hate those who take advantage or prevails over someone who is incapable or weak (albeit temporarily), you can at most despise them.

Sometimes to guide my choices is not the validity of the arguments of a party but the stupidity of the other arguments.

I'm glad I do not have a rebellious nature, so I am not forced to do things just because others do not want.

Perhaps, in the end, only those who really made us laugh can really make us cry.

If you don't want to do without a person is not the same thing of wanting to be with that person. Maybe it's one of the differences between addiction and love.

Dignity and pride are not only two different feelings, but, in some ways, opposites. You can step on your pride to preserve your dignity. You can destroy your dignity because of your pride.

Many of the most charming women I know are single and possess at least one cat or dog. Maybe after getting used to an affectionate quadruped, it is hard to settle for a man.

We discover our greatness when we find ourselves in a situation bigger than we are and we manage to grow and become bigger than the situation.

Quite often, when we stop obsessively looking for something, it's that thing that comes looking for us.

One of the problems with democracy is that there are historical moments when it is difficult to reconcile necessity and popularity.

Sometimes what hurts us is not what we fear but what we use to defend ourselves from what we fear.

What we really do not forgive those we love is not to not do what we want but to not want what we want.

By now you can see a lot more "tough-guys" than "do-gooders" around. The cynical, crafty and egocentric poses, possibly with narcissistic shades, are considered more popular, brilliant, intelligent and telegenic. I find tough-guys just as, if not more, banal than do-gooders, and if being a do-gooder is almost always a poor reason, being the tough guy is, most of the time, a bad alibi.

Today a cultural challenge is to move from the dogma of "Work therefore I am" to the creative (almost neo-Cartesian) paradigm of "I think, create and solve problems therefore I am useful":

There's no absolute scale of pain, there's no platinum-iridium pain meter preserved in some museum. There is no suffering that is great enough that we can be proud of as if it were a medal, or too small, that we should be ashamed, as if it were a whim. What devastates us is not what is happening around us but what is stirring within us and towards which we feel unprotected.

Le battaglie più onorevoli e importanti iniziano quando nessuno vuole ammettere che ci sia una guerra in corso.

The most honourable and important battles begin when nobody wants to admit that there is a war going on.

The past never returns, what returns is not the past, but a present that has distant roots.

It's easier to forgive those who collide with us than those who do not collude with us.

A seemingly sudden reaction is just the last act in an invisible emotional chain.

Normally, I observe that the worse the quality of one's existence (as assessed by the subject himself), the greater the propensity to offer others pearls of wisdom about how life is and how it should be lived and, on average, to expect them to be collected.

The fact that pain is sometimes necessary to stay alive is something we accept much more easily when it comes to avoiding the death of our body than when it comes to avoiding the death of our soul.

They use fear to control us, they control us to make us afraid. One more reason to be brave.

I am available to make mistakes, I only prefer to make new ones.

Why so many wounded people look for forgiveness from who has injured them?

There is nothing like having something important to do that we do not want to do to get us to deal with those little trivial things we've been postponing for a long time.

Sometimes we are more attached to the pain than the pain is attached to us.

Someone can accept an impossible challenge because deep within they believe it possible. Possible and impossible can be assessed differently by a woman and a man. My possible may seem impossible to you, my limit may be your challenge. And vice-versa.

You understand how much you know about a subject the moment you give explanations to someone who doesn't know anything about it.

Freedom is also to understand that what the world thinks of us is less important for our well-being than what we think of the world.

Sometimes to reassure you, you do not have to deceive yourself in thinking to have certainties, just understand that you do not need them.

Beauty is not perfection, it is what makes us understand the uselessness of perfection.

Our ability to forgive depends more on how much we love than on how much we are loved.

If we were honest with ourselves we would know that what we fear is not to hurt others for fear of their suffering but for fear of the suffering that we ourselves would feel for this evil.

The things we do not do say about us as much as the things we do, if not more.

Beware of those who seek the Truth, because they believe there is only one and will settle for the first they find.

You are never truly autonomous until you learn when and who to ask for help.

Curiosity killed some cats, but only after giving them a wonderful life.

What we really do not forgive those we love is not that they do not do what we want but that they do not want what we want.