Pseudonymous Bosch Quotes

Only bad books have good endings. If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad - because you don't want the book to end.

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.

Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.

USE COMMON SENSE. If somebody offers you a thousand dollars for this book, chances are their motives are not pure. Then again, a thousand dollars is a lot of money. Take the money and run.

But remember what I said about forgetting what I said?

Being an author, is being a dictator. (in a good way)

Very little in this world makes sense.

It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians.

Not all novelists are power-hungry madman. Some are power-hungry madwomen.

Q: Why do you like chocolate so much? A: The answer, clearly, is because I've tasted chocolate.

This book will not harm you unless someone throws it at you which is a possibilty never to be discounted.

*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine," but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text." Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book.

Who needs to go somewhere when you can read about it.

Oh, talking is not so bad as that," said the Jester. "True, most people say only silly things when they speak. But it's easier to ignore them if you're saying silly things yourself.

Some secrets are meant to be known- but once known you can never forget them.

Please be SILENT and LISTEN. I am the SCHOOLMASTER and you are in the CLASSROOM. Just like ELEVEN PLUS TWO equals TWELVE PLUS ONE, And even a FUNERAL can be REAL FUN, You will find my DICTIONARY is quite INDICATORY. If you want to read my story, just look... THEN UNREAD.

Why did so many grown-ups want to be young, she wondered, when it took so long to grow old? It was like going on a million-mile road trip then wanting to turn around without getting out of the car.

I ate him," said the homunculus, biting into his sausage. The kids couldn't hide their looks of horror. He smiled, sausage juice running down his chin. "Oh, don't worry - I cooked him first. I'm not a barbarian.

Better to cry wolf over and over than never to cry wolf at all.

Death is like an old dog. He always knows when you are at his door.

Before we do, I suggest you take a break. If you need to go to the bathroom, this is a good time. If you're sleepy, go to bed and save the next chapter for tomorrow. For the magician's story, you must have all your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.

WARNING: DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE!

The name of this book is mysterious.

...books were better than travel.

Despite my vanity, I fear for my sanity.

Cassandra, when you want to speak to me, you should say 'Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.' Then wait until you get my attention." "Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. Do I have your attention now?

One dictionary defines denouement as "a final part in which everything is made clear and no questions or surprises remain." By that definition, it is exactly the wrong word to describe this chapter. This chapter will make nothing clear; it will raise many questions; and it may even contain a surprise or two. But I say we call it the denouement anyway because the words sounds so sophisticated and French.

Whether it’s chocolate or socks, the rule is the same; the darker the better.

You know, people always warn children about taking candy from strange adults. But they never warn us adults about taking candy from strange children. All those sweet-looking kids who sell boxes of candy bars on the street to help pay for schooling - how do we know what's in those bars? And don't even get me stated on that nefarious institution designed to lure unsuspecting customers into buying mysterious frosted goodies: the bake sale. Adults, be warned: if a child wanted to poison you it would be a piece of cake! Literally a piece of cake.

You must have your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed.

If this was a normal cover for a normal book,I would tell it's FANTASTIC!GRIPPING! (according to all book covers they're fantastic and gripping)

I detest mediocrity.

Friends don't have to have a lot of things in common. But there's one thing friends usually do have in common - a sense of humor. That doesn't mean they find all the same things funny. Sometimes, they might even laugh at each other. But at the end of the day, friends can always laugh with each other.

This new condition, this unwilled silence, had fallen over him ten days ago. The day Cass had gone into the hospital. The day she had fallen into a coma.

The first expert said he had attention deficit disorder. The second expert said the first was out of order. One said he was autistic, another that he was artistic. One said he had Tourette's syndrome. One said he had Asperger's syndrome. And one said the problem was that his parents had Munchausen syndrome. Still another said all he needed was a good old-fashioned spanking.

Veronica ran out to tell Amber the shocking news - and returned in less than a minute with another message for Yo-Yoji: "Amber says she was watching and she knows you got in detention on purpose," she said breathlessly. "Because you have a crush on Cass!" Cass's ears instantly turned red. Max-Ernest looked like he'd been hit by a truck.

If I do find out the Secret,I won't be able to tell it to you-you know that right?And that doesn't mean I don't trust you.It's just because I can't.Sometimes even best friends have to keep secrets from each other." -Cass

No wandering minds allowed.

Your problem, it is not here' - he pointed the pen at Max-Ernest's throat - 'it is here' - he pointed the pen at Max-Ernest's chest. 'My heart is heavy, too. But you must be strong. This situation, it is very serious. It is not only Cass's life that is at stake. If she dies, the Secret, it will die too.

I detest mediocrity. - Benjamin Blake

Only bad books have good endings.if a book is any good, its ending is always bad_because byou don't want the book to end.

When I was younger, I loved graveyards. They weren't spooky so much as mysterious. Each tombstone another story to uncover. Another life to learn about. Now that I'm older - I won't say how old - I hate graveyards. The only life - or rather death - I see in the tombstones is my own.

Q: What is dark chocolate?" "A: Heaven on Earth

Sometimes when we are at our lowest points, we make the greatest discoveries.

Never let a pickpocket bump into you if you can help it

Happily, you don’t know how to find me. If you did, I’ve no doubt, you would try to bribe me to finish the story. I know how you are. I know how I am, too. I am very susceptible to bribes. As you’ve probably noticed, I have no self-control whatsoever. I like chocolate best. But I also have a fondness for cheese.

Sometimes when we are at our lowest points, we make our greatest discoveries.

* If mind control sounds appealing to you, congratulations - you're well on your way to being a writer!

If you’re sleepy, go to bed and save the next chapter for tomorrow.

when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Whether it’s chocolate or socks, the rule is the same: the darker the better.

a nurse threatened to put their child up for adoption if they didn’t reach a decision.

I can't keep a secret. Never could. I hope you have better luck.

But there were other, vaguer, harder-to-pin-down feelings, like: a pit in the stomach that means something is either really good or really bad or both. A feeling of being old and young at once. A sense of beginnings and endings happening at the same time. A certainty that your life is changing, but an uncertainty about how it's changing and whether you want it to.

I HAVE A SECRET I CAN’T TELL NOR INK; THOUGH IT HAS NO SCENT, IT DOES OFTEN STINK. THOUGH IT MAKES NO SOUND, IT CAN MAKE YOU ROAR; WHEN IT’S TASTELESS, I LIKE IT ALL THE MORE. THOUGH IT HAS NO SHADE, IT LACKS NOT COLOR; THOUGH IT HAS NO SHAPE, NO CAUSE FOR DOLOR. IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT, YOU’RE INCORRECT, AND FROM YOU THE SECRET I WILL PROTECT. THE SECRET OF LIFE IS NOT STONE NOR CENTS, FOR THE SECRET SENSE IS BUT A NONSENSE.

The llama was wearing a bridle with a rope attached where you might expect to find reins. A greeting card was hanging from his neck: 'Hola Como se llama? Yo me llamo C. Llama.' During his preschool years, Clay's favorite cartoon had featured a Spanish-speaking boy naturalist who was always saving animals with his girl cousin, and Clay still knew enough of the language to translate: 'Hello. How do you call yourself? I call myself Como C. Llama.' The llama's name is What is your name?

WARNING: DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE! Good. Now I know I can trust you. You’re curious. You’re brave. And you’re not afraid to lead a life of crime. But let’s get something straight: if, despite my warning, you insist on reading this book, you can’t hold me responsible for the consequences. And, make no bones about it, this is a very dangerous book. No, it won’t blow up in your face. Or bite your head off. Or tear you limb from limb. It probably won’t injure you at all. Unless somebody throws it at you, which is a possibility that should never be discounted. Generally speaking, books don’t cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems. Books can, for example, give you ideas. I don’t know if you’ve ever had an idea before, but, if you have, you know how much trouble an idea can get you into. Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret – like, oh, throwing a book at someone else. But the main reason this book is so dangerous is that it concerns a secret. A big secret.

It's funny the way secrets work. If you don't know about a secret, it doesn't bother you. You go about your business without a care in the world. Everything's fine and dandy. But as soon as you hear about the secret, it starts to nag at you. Suddenly, your dying to know what the secret is.

sock♥roach®

Why did the ibis cross the Nile?” She nodded, shivering. He laughed, a deep, rumbling laugh. “To get to the other side, of course.” As

SOMEBODY OFFERS YOU A THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR THIS BOOK, CHANCES ARE THEIR MOTIVES ARE NOT PURE. THEN AGAIN, A THOUSAND DOLLARS IS A LOT OF MONEY. TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN.

IN THE UNFORTUNATE EVENT THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF CORNERED BY A MEMBER OF THE MIDNIGHT SUN, PICK YOUR NOSE.

For he who has power over dragons has power over us all.

Clay took a breath, reached out, and - CLAP! - smashed the fly between his palms. Right in front of the dragon's eye. Brett stared at him in shock. "Do you have a death wish?

The Legend of Cabbage Face”.

When a dark blue-black flame jumped up from the fire, the entire room

It probably won't injure you at all. Unless somebody throws it at you, which is a possibility that should never be discounted.

Dead people have more freedom! - Cass

Hearing a good story never hurts.

I must admit, this is one of the most politely written ransom notes I've ever received. - Mrs. Johnson

Let's have a chapter break. I don't know about you, but I could sure use it.

QUESTION: What is not enough for one, just right for two, and too much for three? ANSWER: A secret.

Author's note: At a certain point in the first 150 pages of this book there will be an emergency drill. Please follow all instructions and behave exactly as you would in a real emergency. Thank you.

She hadn’t visited this spot in a few years, but when she was younger it had been a frequent hideout. She called it the Barbie Graveyard because it was where, one night when she was nine years old, she’d ceremoniously buried every single doll she had. She’d marked the site with a melted Barbie toaster. “They all died in an electrical fire,” she told her mother somberly. “I couldn’t save them.

rich, ripe, dark, deep, zippy, zesty, wicked, wonderful, delicious, delightful, delectable and even electable (if he could vote), vibrant, vivacious, seductive, addictive, oh-so-very-attractive, nourishing, flourishing, rather ravishing, beautiful, buttery, sometimes bittersweet but never bitter, gorgeous and worth gorging on, berry-ish, cherry-ish, meaty yet fruity, elemental yet complex, mellow yet electric, soothing yet energizing, earthy yet heavenly, melt-in-your-mouth pleasure of chocolate?

(I will tell you this: I wasn’t the one who thought it was a good idea to rest a fragile Chinese antique on top of a box of Belgian chocolates.

Sometimes trying to get to the Other Side would get you nowhere; sometimes you had to bet on the sid you were already on.

reader,

None of those versions ring true? I’m betraying you, my reader,

CHOCOLATE, BROWN. LIQUORICE, BLACK. ANYTHING ELSE I’M TAKING BACK!]

(Max-Ernest had a pretty good idea he was going to wind up being a writer instead, but he hadn’t fully accepted it yet.)

(I will tell you this: I wasn’t the one who thought it was a good idea to rest a fragile Chinese antique on top of a box of Belgian chocolates. Enough said.)

Anyway, I can’t help stealing,” Leira explained. “I’m a kleptomaniac.

(HINT: ALTHOUGH CHEATING IS FROWNED UPON, IT IS ACCEPTABLE TO AWARD YOURSELF BONUS POINTS FOR PARTICULARLY GOOD ANSWERS.)

ACTUALLY, THIS QUESTION IS NOT REALLY ON THE EXAM. BUT I’M VERY INTERESTED TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ON THE TOPIC.

Some secrets are meant to be known – but once known you can never forget them.

You didn't simply deny the existence of a thing because it didn't fit into your theory of the universe; the existence of the thing meant that your theory of the universe is flawed.

He stared at it as if he had caught a live grenade. It was the mummy’s finger.

denouement

phosphorescence.

IT IS BEST NOT TO TRUST ANY WALKING ALLIGATORS OR PURPLE DINOSAURS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

(Teeth, as you may know from watching television,

Thai food was Cass’s favourite;

agitron: a wiggly line that means an object is shaking briffit: a cloud of dust that means a character has left in a rush emanata: lines emanating from a character’s head that means he or she is surprised plewd: a drop of sweat that means a character is hot or stressed squeans: asterisks that mean drunkenness or dizziness waftarom: a wavy line that means something smells foul

or A Midsummer Night’s Dream, because it has fairies and a man with the head of a donkey, or, as the students always delighted in calling it, the head of an “ass.”* This

Leira watched Clay go, then looked at the wallet in her hand, puzzled. She'd lifted it from his pocket only a moment ago. There'd been no time for him to miss it.

A. You don't have to be so snotty about it. B. Who the heck are you? - Leira

A dragon! thought Leira. Clay was right - he's hunting a dragon!

Have you ever heard of a primal scream? This was like that, but, well... nasal. A primal wheeze. ... A primal sneeze. ... Clay nodded, awestruck. "Snot lava.

Nobody's done with me until I say they are. The Midnight Sun will be sorry they ever met me." ... The Midnight Sun.