Nick Trenton Quotes

Out from behind the desk where he’d been sitting, hidden by the piles of books, appeared a bespectacled, green-eyed man in a green plaid suit. His thick white hair was shaggy and mussed, his nose was rather large and lumpy like a vegetable, and although it was clear he had recently shaved, he appeared to have done so without benefit of a mirror, for here and there upon his neck and chin were nicks from a razor, and occasional white whiskers that he’d missed altogether. This was Mr. Benedict.

Trenton," Nick said patiently, "it is simple: your pizzle, her quim, you both enjoy each other until you can't move. Nothing simpler. You have three children, for pity's sake, need I draw you diagrams?

In other words, though it might not feel like it in the moment, a big cause of anxiety can come down to intrinsic factors within you as an individual.

The ancient Stoics understood these principles well, with Epictetus saying, “Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.” We have power over our minds, not outside events. So, if we continue to focus on outside events that we don’t have power over, the conclusion is obvious—we repeatedly experience powerlessness and therefore anxiety.

People who are not subject to anxious overthinking have mastered a particular attitude to life that’s characterized by flexibility, focus, resilience, and beneficial action. Put your awareness

Remember that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person. When you forgive, you are releasing yourself from the stress and energy of resenting and blaming the other person.

Stress and anxiety are not the same thing. Psychologist Dr. Sarah Edelman explains that stress is something in the environment, an external pressure on us, whereas anxiety is our internal experience of this pressure.

A 2010 paper published by Killingsworth and Gilbert titled “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind” found that the brain is ultimately spending as much time stewing over what is not happening as it is over what is happening.

The first thing you need to remember is a mantra called the 4 As of stress management. These are avoid, alter, accept, and adapt. Avoiding things entails simply walking away from things you can’t control. Some things are simply not worth the effort and are best removed from our environments

More alarming than this, overthinking can completely warp your perception of events in time, shaping your personality in ways that mean you are more risk averse, more negatively focused and less resilient. When you’re constantly tuned into Stress FM you are not actually consciously aware and available in the present moment to experience life as it is. You miss out on countless potential feelings of joy, gratitude, connection and creativity because of your relentless focus on what could go wrong, or what has gone wrong.

Mr. Benedict’s amusement sent him right off to sleep, for he had a condition called narcolepsy that caused him to nod off at unexpected moments. These episodes occurred most often when he experienced strong emotion, and especially when he was laughing. His assistants (who were also, as it happened, his adopted daughters) did what they could to protect him—he could hardly take two steps without Rhonda or Number Two shadowing him watchfully in case he should fall asleep and topple over—and Mr. Benedict guarded against such incidents himself by always wearing a green plaid suit, which he had discovered long ago to have a calming effect. Nevertheless, the occasional bout of sudden sleep was inevitable, and as a result Mr. Benedict’s thick white hair was perpetually tousled, and his face, as often as not, was unevenly shaven and marked with razor nicks. (Unfortunately nothing was more comical, Mr. Benedict said, than the sight of himself in the shaving mirror, where his bright green eyes and long, lumpy nose—together with a false white beard of shaving lather—put him in mind of Santa Claus.) He also wore spectacles of the sturdiest variety, the better to protect against shattering in the event of a fall. But as

So he stops stressing about his health…and starts stressing about his thoughts about his health.

In fact, the moment he has that thought, his head is filled with seemingly millions of examples of all the times people have criticized him.

since overthinkers are pretty good at convincing themselves that their current worry is all-encompassing… until the next all-encompassing worry replaces it.

Let’s begin with a common explanation for anxiety: genetics.

exacerbated

Creating the right space and opportunity for change and growth Reflecting on your process and developing your sense of being a proactive agent in that process Developing self-awareness Learning to trial-and-error your own behavior, and experimenting with your experience Practicing ways of finding help and community with others Bravely confronting your limiting beliefs and thought patterns and challenging your mental

Physical effects, both long and short term, include: Racing heart, headache, nausea, muscle tension, fatigue, dry mouth, dizzy feelings, increase in breathing rate, aching muscles, trembling and twitching, sweating, disturbed digestion, immune system suppression and memory issues. Your body was designed to endure brief moments of acute stress, but chronic stress (stress that is ongoing) can start to cause chronic health conditions, like cardiovascular disease, insomnia, hormonal dysregulation and so on. If the ordinary physical experience of stress is prolonged, the physical effects can have consequences in the rest of your life… Mental and psychological effects include: Exhaustion and fatigue, feeling on edge, nervousness, irritability, inability to concentrate, lack of motivation, changes to libido and appetite, nightmares, depression, feeling out of control, apathy and so on. Stress can reinforce negative thinking patterns and harmful self-talk, lower our confidence, and kill our motivation. More alarming than this, overthinking can completely warp your perception of events in time, shaping your personality in ways that mean you are more risk averse, more negatively focused and less resilient. When you’re constantly tuned into Stress FM you are not actually consciously aware and available in the present moment to experience life as it is. You miss out on countless potential feelings of joy, gratitude, connection and creativity because of your relentless focus on what could go wrong, or what has gone wrong. This means you’re less likely to recognize creative solutions to problems, see new opportunities and capitalize on them, or truly appreciate all the things that are going right for you. If you are constantly in a low-level state of fear and worry, every new encounter is going to be interpreted through that filter, and interpreted not for what it is, but for what you’re worried it could be.  Broader social and environmental effects include: Damage to close relationships, poor performance at work, impatience and irritability with others, retreating socially, and engaging in addictive or harmful behaviors. A person who is constantly stressed and anxious starts to lose all meaning and joy in life, stops making plans, cannot act with charity or compassion to others, and loses their passion for life. There is very little spontaneity, humor or irreverence when someone’s mind is too busy catastrophizing, right? As you can imagine, the physical, mental and environmental aspects all interact to create one, unified experience of overthinking and anxiety. For example, if you overthink consistently, your body will be flooded with cortisol and other stress hormones. This can leave you on edge, and in fact cause you to overthink even more, adding to the stress, changing the way you feel about yourself and your life. You might then make bad choices for yourself (staying up late, eating bad food, shutting people out) which reinforce the stress cycle you’re in. You may perform worse at work, procrastinating and inevitably giving yourself more to worry about, and so on…

When you’re trapped in a worry cycle that’s been going on for a while, it can seem like a jumble of stressful chaos that makes no sense. But in its own way, it does make sense. There is a clear trigger, and that is a lack of certainty.

Marcus E. Raichle is a neuroscientist who coined the term “default mode network,” which can be

Sitting on your shoulders is the most complicated object in the known universe.” And rumination is what happens when all that processing power has nothing better to do!

If we hope to successfully tackle overthinking, we need to take a step back rather than trying to work through the problem from inside our own rumination.

in the present moment, appreciate and enjoy what you have. No matter what the future holds, what you have now will always be enough.

Learning immediately after engaging in new experiences capitalizes on our brain's inherent plasticity—its capacity for adaptation and modification. This neurobiological phenomenon can be heuristic for learning, enabling people to learn more quickly. When it comes to setting aside time for studying, consider the opportunities presented by the unfamiliar—for example, scheduling a coffee chat with someone outside of your circle or undertaking a weekend trip to a different city.

Attach Rewards to Your To-Do List Utilizing low-tech techniques is a great way to get started. For instance, assigning rewards to a to-do list can help make the necessary chores feel more enjoyable. With each task completed, you assign yourself points or another reward that incentivizes getting your list done quickly and efficiently. It’s a great way to not only motivate yourself but also involve the kids in the process, as it provides positive reinforcement. Get creative with novel mini games and see just how much fun tackling everyday tasks can be!

Eric Garland, a professor at the University of Utah’s College of Social Work, created the program Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement (MORE), which has been helpful in aiding those battling opioid abuse, chronic pain, and emotional distress. MORE involves teaching participants to process and cope with challenging negative emotions. Garland presumes “life includes triumphs and tribulations; mindfulness allows individuals to accept both outcomes while remaining in tune with their metaphysical alignment.

Taking the time each morning to view early morning sunlight for a period of ten to thirty minutes can have powerful effects on the regulation of dopamine in the body (Cawley et al., 2013). Not only can it cause an immediate release of dopamine, but when practiced consistently, this activity may even lead to a rise in the expression levels of certain dopamine receptors.

we become aware of this and take a moment to consider why this work is important to us and what would happen if we don't do it, we may turn our limbic system's fear of avoidance against it and beat it at its own game.

Caffeine can be a great way to boost your energy levels and productivity throughout the day.

Creating and reinforcing new habits has never been easier than with celebrations. Research has revealed that when people find a celebration that resonates with them and deliver it immediately after or while performing the action, their brain will develop the pathway to help make it an automatic behavior in the future.

Second example: You, with an emotional chain of thought: If I don’t get this done by tonight, I might fail this class! I will disappoint everyone I hold dear! This can’t be happening! I shall power through even if it takes me all night! It's so impressive that in both of these cases, the individual decided to pay attention to their emotions and take the time to explain to themselves why the fear of avoidance was greater than the fear of discomfort. They used this as a motivating factor and realized that not taking action was more terrifying than not doing what they said they would. As we all know, taking that first step toward a goal will always give us a hit of dopamine; if we just keep going and smashing out even more goals, it keeps on coming!

To maximize the benefits of this routine and add an extra layer of wellness, experts suggest taking a short cold shower—anywhere from one to three minutes in length—as cold as a person can reasonably tolerate. Research has shown that this simple addition can drastically raise people’s baseline dopamine level for multiple hours afterward. Appropriate sleep helps regulate the production and release of dopamine,

Meditation is a great way to give your dopamine levels a healthy, natural boost.

You can use this written record as a reference when feeling low or in need of new inspiration. Take a few moments to recall the emotions experienced during these moments and be intentional about savoring the feeling of being appreciated.

Studies have found that gratitude can do wonders for mental health. It's been associated with increasing levels of dopamine, and recent research suggests it can also naturally boost serotonin—that "happiness chemical." In his book The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time, researcher Alex Korb writes that being grateful activates production in the anterior cingulate cortex. This can help people feel good and relaxed, as well as stabilize their mood so they’re better equipped to manage difficult emotions

Taking a solitary walk every day can be beneficial for your physical and mental health. Referred to as "savoring walks" by the Greater Good Science Center at Berkeley, this activity encourages people to take a break from their everyday life and focus on the little things that make up the world around them. During a savoring walk, consciously observe your environment as you go, taking note of sights, sounds, and smells unique to your location. At times, it might be difficult, but each step taken will help build within you a sense of greater appreciation for nature and all that is around you. Walk alone with intention and in gratitude; the world is beautiful and there are countless blessings to be thankful for.

While it's normal to combine activities to make mundane tasks more exciting, it is important to be mindful of combining too many pleasurable activities, such as texting, listening to music, and exercising. According to Lembke, the brain needs time when it is not being stimulated in order to appreciate the true enjoyment that results from any activity people undertake. Too much pleasure at one time can lead people to become numb or take greater risks than people would normally take, so enjoying pleasures in moderation is an important exercise for everyone.

Once you have achieved each small section, you should reward yourself with something meaningful to you, like a five-minute break or the last slice of pizza.

Refraining from quick hits and instead focusing on activities such as physical exercise, learning, working on long-term goals, and meditation can have a direct impact on our motivation levels and our ability to focus.

Therefore, self-control is an important skill to master if we want to stay productive. One effective way of strengthening our self-control is to practice voluntary discomfort. This means deliberately subjecting ourselves to uncomfortable situations and avoiding the urge to give in easily to the comfort we could derive from easier solutions.

The key difference being that we must delay gratification in order to experience success; by doing this, the reward centers are engaged, contributing to better focus and resourcefulness long term.

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’” -Seneca

Taking regular breaks from screens throughout the day can help people manage stress and remain productive. Scheduling specific times for these breaks on their calendars can be a great way of ensuring they don’t get lost in the digital world and neglect themselves.

spotlighting. It involves focusing one’s visual attention on one specific point in the distance, which helps to reduce distractions.

According to Dr. Huberman, research demonstrates that receiving gratitude has an even greater effect than giving it.

When you’re constantly tuned into Stress FM, you are not actually consciously aware and available in the present moment to experience life as it is. You miss out on countless potential feelings of joy, gratitude, connection, and creativity because of your relentless focus on what could go wrong or what has gone wrong.

Multi-tasking and trying to do too many things all at once can be highly stressful. For those feeling stressed, it might be valuable to engage in an alternative activity that is incompatible with whatever is causing the stress (the stimulus); this could mean doing something physical instead of sitting in front of a screen all day, or going outdoors for some fresh air and sunshine instead of worrying about satisfying that “urge to indulge.

Random Intermittent Reward Timing (RIRT) If someone wants to stay motivated and have success in whatever pursuits they have, random intermittent reward timing (RIRT) could be their ticket.

In 2000, Christine Heim and colleagues suggested that sexual abuse in childhood had the effect of “sensitizing” women to stress in adulthood, meaning their physiological response to stress was actually heightened compared to other people.

Things like the quality of lighting, the smells and noises you’re exposed to, the colors of the walls, and the people occupying these spaces with you can all cause or reduce anxiety and stress levels depending on how they’re managed. You might be surprised at how much of an impact good lighting, pleasant aromas, and walls with calming colors have on your anxiety levels.

For example, if you overthink consistently, your body will be flooded with cortisol and other stress hormones. This can leave you on edge, and in fact cause you to overthink even more, adding to the stress, changing the way you feel about yourself and your life.

Two people can have vastly different appraisals of the same scenario—it is the appraisal that causes their experience, and not the scenario. Some appraisals of life simply lead to more stressful outcomes. If you’re the kind of person who, for example, has an external locus of control (i.e., you don’t see your life as really under your control, but influenced by luck, randomness, or other people), then you may see a certain new situation as a threat rather than an exciting challenge. And once you’ve told yourself it’s a threat, you will behave as if it is—and get anxious.

You miss out on countless potential feelings of joy, gratitude, connection, and creativity because of your relentless focus on what could go wrong or what has gone wrong.

our brains are organs and part of our physical bodies.

All of these thoughts are the result of overthinking. When we are trapped in rumination, it can seem like the thoughts are the problems.

the brain is ultimately spending as much time stewing over what is not happening

the overthinker gets trapped in the cycle of analyzing, rejecting, and reconsidering different possibilities

Many overthinkers are at the mercy of an overactive brain

When no task dominates, the brain ends up mulling over its place in the world and processes and reprocesses social information and memories in the interests of increasing survival.

Many of us have become habitual overthinkers because it gives us the illusion that we’re doing something about the problem we’re overthinking about.

Overthinking can certainly be a symptom and expression of other mental health conditions, such as generalized anxiety or depression,

So, it’s worth getting to the root of these thoughts, beliefs, and expectations and asking whether they lead to the kind of emotions and behaviors you actually want. If not, they can be changed.

What are the most frequent causes of stress, i.e., what usually comes before a sudden rise in stress or drop in mood? How do these events typically affect your productivity? How do you normally respond to these events, emotionally and behaviorally, and is your approach working? Can you identify a level of stress that was comfortable and beneficial for your productivity?

When I don’t succeed, I learn and work hard to do better next time,” or, “I love and accept myself even though I’m not perfect.

We all live in a highly strung, overstimulated, highly cerebral world. Overthinking puts our ordinary cognitive instincts in overdrive. Excessive thinking occurs when our thought processes are out of control, causing us distress. Endless analysis of life and of self is usually unwanted, unstoppable, and self-defeating. Ordinarily, our brains help us solve problems and understand things more clearly—but overthinking does the opposite.

Many of us have become habitual overthinkers because it gives us the illusion that we’re doing something about the problem we’re overthinking about. So, if James is worried about his health, it’s natural that him overthinking endlessly about the various causes and solutions makes it seem like he’s trying to get to the bottom of the issue. But the truth is that overthinking often doesn’t lead anywhere, because the overthinker gets trapped in the cycle of analyzing, rejecting, and reconsidering different possibilities. It’s like scratching an itch that just won’t go away. You can scratch it to feel some momentary relief, but it won’t make the itching stop despite how good scratching might feel.

Another reason it can be so hard to escape this vicious cycle is that the anxiety causing our overthinking works in clever and mischievous ways. It feeds on our worst fears. You might have noticed that your overthinking is exacerbated by some very specific triggers. This can be your insecurities about your personal capabilities, your relationships with certain people, your physical or mental health, etc. Simply trying to suppress your thoughts when they’re running wild often results in the opposite outcome. You start thinking even more about the thing you were worried about. This might sound like a helpless situation, but later in this book, we’ll discuss some techniques you can utilize to get out of this cycle.

bespectacled, green-eyed man in a green plaid suit. His thick white hair was shaggy and mussed, his nose was rather large and lumpy like a vegetable, and although it was clear he had recently shaved, he appeared to have done so without benefit of a mirror, for here and there upon his neck and chin were nicks from a razor, and occasional white whiskers that he’d missed altogether. This was Mr. Benedict.

When you forgive, you are releasing yourself from the stress and energy of resenting and blaming the other person.

many top athletes are taught to visualize their goals immediately prior to a competition. They see themselves winning the game, winning the race, or scoring the game-winning point. They are taught to "imagine" what they want to happen rather than what they don't want to occur. If they accomplish this, their chances of success skyrocket (Meyers and Schleser, 1980). Seeing themselves succeed helps people believe that they can.

Professor David Welch explains that people who don’t take the time for self-reflection tend to make bad decisions because they do not understand their own position. He encourages readers to ask themselves specific questions like: “Will the outcome of my decision move me closer to what I truly want? Does the benefit outweigh the cost? Is the level of risk worth the reward? How committed am I to this change?

This is backed up by science; when people are doing something meaningful, the brain releases dopamine. So if people want to increase their happiness and contentment levels, they should consider spending time on activities that are closely tied to their core values. Not only will this make them a more fulfilled individual, it'll also give their mind and soul a much needed boost!

Adding friction to a task can be an incredibly successful way of changing our behavior. Humans tend to come up with the path of least resistance, and if you give us more work or make it difficult, we won't often go the extra mile.

According to research, dopamine influences how people choose between immediate rewards versus things that might occur in the future (Schultz, 2004). In other words, it forces individuals to focus on the here and now rather than how their spur-of-the-moment decisions may influence them in the future. This can lead them toward making unhealthy choices.

Holmes and Collins (2001) found that visualizing success involves creating internal cognitive representations that mirror actual action. This helps release dopamine, improve motivation, and build confidence while encouraging improved execution when performing outside of one’s imagination. As such, visualizing success can be an incredibly useful tool for any athlete or performer wishing to maximize their potential within a competitive environment.

When it comes to internet use and video games, avoid anything designed by a company (movies/television) or requiring frequent input (scrolling/clicking), because such goods prioritize user engagement over user well-being.

Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”  -Angela Lee Duckworth

So, what’s really happening is that worries are controlling you rather than you controlling them. A stressful thought comes along and cracks the whip, and you instantly obey. The mistake we make is to think that if a negative thought comes along, there is no other option but to focus on it.

So, what’s really happening is that worries are controlling you rather than you controlling them. A stressful thought comes along and cracks the whip, and you instantly obey. The mistake we make is to think that if a negative thought comes along, there is no other option but to focus on it. Remember our brain’s negativity bias and our information-processing software that literally evolved to amplify bad news? It tells us that the threatening and scary thing always takes precedence.

Activities that individuals can allow themselves to partake in could include: writing (with pen and paper), meditating, going for walks, doing some deep thinking, inner child-work, visualizing, and replenishing with water. Individuals can devote one weekend day (spent outdoors on a Saturday or Sunday), one weekend per quarter (go on a trip), or one week per year (go on vacation!).

Consider this: Siamese cats possess genes that give the coat its characteristic coloring. The genes, however, are not set in stone, but rather express themselves conditionally in relation to the environment because they are temperature-sensitive. They are “switched on” in colder areas of the body (the brown tail tip, nose, ears, and feet) and turned off in warmer areas. If you raise a Siamese kitten in a very cool climate, it will be darker brown. In a warmer climate, it will look lighter. Thus, two cats with the same genetic makeup end up with a different phenotype, i.e., physiological expression of those genes.

then puts a magnifying lens on all his flaws and starts turning each of them over in his mind, wondering why he is the way he is, tortured by the fact that he can’t seem to just “let it go.” After an hour of this, he realizes with despair that he is no closer to making a decision about his health issue, and instantly feels depressed, sinking into a storm of negative self-talk where he tells himself over and over again that this always happens, that he never sorts himself out, that he’s too neurotic . . . Phew! It’s hard to see how all of this torment and mental anguish started with nothing more than James noticing he had a weird-looking mole on his shoulder! We all live in a highly strung, overstimulated, highly cerebral world. Overthinking puts our ordinary cognitive instincts in overdrive. Excessive thinking occurs when our thought processes are out of control, causing us distress. Endless analysis of life and of self is usually unwanted, unstoppable, and self-defeating. Ordinarily, our brains help us solve problems and understand things more clearly—but overthinking does the opposite. Whether you call it worry, anxiety, stress, rumination, or even obsession, the quality that characterizes overthinking is that it feels awful, and it doesn’t help us in any way.

Stress is a fact of life, but overthinking is optional!

might not remember

Anxiety always lives elsewhere. It lingers around in the past, worrying about what has already happened (i.e., is out of your control, see attitude 1), or floats uselessly into the future, imagining a million stressful possibilities. But conscious awareness and useful action don’t belong elsewhere: they live in the present.

You're a fresh one, Nick.' ~ John Cole

Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.” —Epictetus

Overthinkers are typically intelligent, but sometimes that just means they’re really good at hiding obvious things from themselves!

He then puts a magnifying lens on all his flaws and starts turning each of them over in his mind, wondering why he is the way he is, tortured by the fact that he can’t seem to just “let it go.” After an hour of this, he realizes with despair that he is no closer to making a decision

Let’s begin with a common explanation for anxiety: genetics. The truth is that no experts have been able to identify with absolute certainty a single genetic cause for anxiety. Researchers have, however, discovered a genetic component. Purves et. al. argued in a 2019 Molecular Psychiatry paper that chromosome 9 carries

If the situation is one in which you’ve been wronged, acceptance may take the form of trying to find a way to forgive. Remember that forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the other person. When you forgive, you are releasing yourself from the stress and energy of resenting and blaming the other person.

When you relax, your heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure drop; your digestion and blood sugar levels improve; you moderate stress hormones in the body; you reduce fatigue and muscle pain; and you increase concentration, good sleep, and confidence. And all this spells less anxiety and rumination. Combined with other techniques in this book, relaxation is a powerful tool for mitigating the stress of living.

The dichotomy of control is a central concept in Stoic philosophy that emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between things that are within one’s control and things that are beyond one’s control.

psychological distance is all about creating mental space between yourself and the problem by looking at it objectively rather than emotionally.

let's find a way to "do our life, our way" and embrace the wonderful quirks that make us who we are. After all, normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

growth paradoxically requires a kind of loss. Things that don’t change this way do not grow;