Mj Ryan Quotes

Because it takes work, often a lot of work and sacrifice, you have to really want to bring something into being.

much of life requires waiting and we have a choice to do it happily or miserably.

you will greatly increase your chances of success if you stop long enough to get clear on your motivation, understand why you’ve been doing what you’re doing now,

if you really want it, you’ll keep at it. Despite setbacks, interruptions, and sidetracks. No matter how long you get off course, you’ll eventually return—if you really want what you say you do.

whatever we’re doing, healthy or unhealthy, is always a solution to some problem.

We do what we do because it serves some need.

Happiness comes not only from moment-to-moment enjoyment of life, but also from the sense of satisfaction and flow that arises when we are using our capacities to their fullest.

Look for the hidden blessings in difficult situations.

CLEARING OUT CLUTTER: “DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS TO THE PERSON I WANT TO BE?

We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand…and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it’s too late. —MARIE BEYNON

TOP TEN RESOLUTION PITFALLS 1. Being vague about what you want 2. Not making a serious commitment 3. Procrastinating and excuse making—no time, wrong time, dog ate my homework 4. Being unwilling to go through the awkward phase 5. Not setting up a tracking and reminder system 6. Expecting perfection, falling into guilt, shame, regret 7. Trying to go it alone 8. Telling yourself self-limiting rut stories 9. Not having backup plans 10. Turning slip-ups to give-ups

Finding a positive motivation also engages your emotional brain to work for the change, not against it. Remember, it wants to go toward pleasure. So the more emotionally pleasurable your positive motivation, the more it will help you achieve your goal.

The right brain is future oriented. It’s where our aspirations, our dreams, our longings reside. It’s where creativity is born. This is the part of your brain that doesn’t care that you haven’t done it before—in fact it’s energized by newness and bored by routine.

in order to actually do something new, you have to get clear on why you are willing to expend all that energy. Why do you want to start that new hobby, have time alone with your spouse, get more sleep, move across the country, get out of debt? The benefits of where you’re headed need to be clear. Just as you need a powerful what, you need a meaningful why.

UNDERLYING NEED “COPING” MECHANISM To have support in figuring out your talents Getting stoned to avoid thinking about it To be loved, held, appreciated Negativity, pessimism to “control” expectations To have feelings received Overeating as an attempt at self-soothing To be recognized as mattering Overwork to prove worth To forgive yourself Becoming perfectionistic to try and avoid mistakes To avoid punishment or disapproval Focusing solely on the needs of others so you don’t take care of yourself by exercising Rest and rejuvenation Drinking alcohol to excess, “rewarding” yourself with fatty or sweet foods Solitude and contemplation Picking fights so you end up alone Stability in chaos Worrying as a way to feel in control A sense of purpose Overspending in an attempt to find meaning in material things

when young, people develop beliefs that organize their world and give meaning to their experiences. These mental models determine the goals we pursue and the ways we go about achieving those goals. She has found that the key mental models of successful individuals are: they love learning; they seek challenges and value effort; and they persist in the face of reasonable obstacles. She calls this having a growth, as opposed to a fixed, orientation to life. When people with a fixed orientation fail at something, they believe the situation is out of their control and nothing can be done. They lose faith in their ability to perform. They shrink previous successes and in-flate failures. Anxious about failure, they abandon the effective strategies they have in their repertoire. They give up. Those with a growth orientation do not see failure as an indictment of their capacities. For those folks, a problem is just an opportunity to learn new things. Their attention is on finding strategies for learning. When they blow it, they realize that they just haven’t found the right strategy yet. They wonder how they can improve their performance the next time. They dig in and make optimistic predictions: “The harder it gets, the harder I need to try. I need to remember what I already know about this. I’ll get this soon.

Behavior we celebrate grows ever stronger.

Ryan sat on a big, gnarly, half-buried root under the naked oak tree that stood in front of school. When his bus pulled up, he didn’t try to make eye contact with anyone. He knew the other kids were too afraid to look his way. A long-haired boy from the sixth grade made the mistake of sitting in the seat in front of him. Ryan kept pulling stray hairs from the back of his head, only stopping when tears streamed down the boy’s face. It was his own fault for having a mullet, Ryan told himself. He got off the bus and waited for Alyssa Abbot. She’d made him swear not to speak to her until the bus was out of sight. Ryan knew she wouldn’t even walk home with him if her parents didn’t force her to. “I guess you’re not going to bother writing a letter to Santa. Seeing how you want him dead and all,” Alyssa said, eyes fixed ahead on the black smoke billowing from the underside of the bus. “You’re the only dork in our class still writing letters to

I remember once reading about Sylvia Plath. She was a young divorcee with two small children when she wrote some of her best poetry—at 4 or 5 A.M., before the kids woke. That’s how much she wanted it.

if you really want it, you’ll keep at it.

UNDERLYING NEED “COPING” MECHANISM

it has to do with whether you think intelligence is fixed (you’re born as smart as you’ll ever be) or changeable (you can get smarter throughout life). When provided with evidence that the brain can grow new pathways, fixed-orientation freshman college students on the verge of dropping out switched to a growth orientation and graduated.

Emotional Alchemy, Tara Bennett-Goleman

If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in that way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

The text is published at the back of Ryan S. Wood’s book Majic Eyes Only: Earth’s Encounters with Extraterrestrial Technology.6 Dr. Michael Wolf, who was associated with the MJ-12, confirmed its existence and said that it now has 36 members.7 Another source suggested that the enlarged group is an international board of directors. The contact pace picked up on February 20, 1954 when President Dwight D. Eisenhower met with an extraterrestrial contingent at Edwards Air Force Base in California, then called Muroc Air Base.8 The visitors offered their assistance in the development of incredible new technology. All we (the U.S.) had to do in return was to ‘beat our swords into plowshares,’ that is, give up our nuclear weapons. Apparently the top generals at the Pentagon believed this to be some sort of ruse that would leave us defenseless in very dangerous times. So we had to say ‘no thanks.’ It seems evident now that the president and his advisors had their conclusions confirmed, at that point, that one or more of the extraterrestrial groups that had reached Earth were hostile and that we had to assume a defensive posture against a possible interplanetary war. After all, Eisenhower, as supreme commander of the Allied forces in Europe, had undoubtedly been privy to the information about extraterrestrial involvement in World War II. That defensive posture, of course, required ultra-secrecy, just as in wartime. That basically sealed the deal as regards disclosure. From that point on, all negotiations with extraterrestrials of every stripe was deemed too sensitive for public consumption, and the curtain of secrecy descended for the foreseeable future.

I look at the situation from the other person's perspective, (1) what might he or she be experiencing right now? (2) How would someone I respect put these facts into a different interpretation? (3) If someone I respect did what this person did, would I be feeling differently? If so, how? These questions help us open our hearts.

I will believe in you every day of my life”—Elliot to E.T. from the movie E.T.