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I decided that being called “crazy” by a man was not an insult but a challenge. It gives the woman an opportunity to say, “Crazy? Oh, I’ll show you fucking crazy.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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I’ve come to see “Bitches be crazy” as less a statement by men that women are crazy or even a reappropriated statement by women defending their own madness. Instead, I see the phrase and imagine a colon after “bitches,” rendering it a command to other women, a battle cry. It is a way of saying, “We took back ‘bitch’ already. And now we have come for ‘crazy.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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Sylvia was an early literary manifestation of a young woman who takes endless selfies and posts them with vicious captions calling herself fat and ugly. She is at once her own documentarian and the reflexive voice that says she is unworthy of documentation. She sends her image into the world to be seen, discussed, and devoured, proclaiming that the ordinariness or ugliness of her existence does not remove her right to have it.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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Boys often have permission to become men without the forfeiture of their desirability. And so these men write stories that grasp at girls who are ghosts twice over: first by being dead and second by being shallow shadows of actual girls, the assorted fragments of men's aging imaginations rather than the deep and dimensioned creatures that real girls are.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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They know too well the violent hypnosis of those who hope to possess them-- men who can smell the blood on the places where a woman is breaking.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart.” I struggle to think of any line of thinking more linked to being a socialized female than to consider the declaration of simply existing to feel like a form of bragging. But that, of course, is the plight of the feeling girl: to be told again and again that her very existence is something not worth declaring.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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Though the boys never admit it as much, it is crucial the Lisbon sisters are all thin and beautiful within reason. There are a handful of imperfect features among them but nothing that would make the sum of each one's parts less than desirable. In the safety of being attractive, their eccentricities are as precious as their bodies. Their bodies protect all eccentricity from becoming "strange" or "gross" in the way similar predilections are characterized when possessed by heavier or uglier girls.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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Those who accuse these women of fraud in their image craft seem not to have heard of David Bowie's successful alter ego Ziggy Stardust or even Bob Dylan, the folksy creation of a genius named Robert Allen Zimmerman. There is a tradition of male artists taking on personae that are understood to be part of their art. It is as though there is so much genius within them that it must be split between these mortal men and the characters they create. Women who venture to do the same are ridiculed as fakers and try-hards.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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In the lower-brow selection of tabloids that report on the weight of celebrities, one statement that follows women struggling with their weight around more than any other is "She got her body back." Here you'll find near-constant Britney coverage. But barring any transcendent out-of-body experiences, these women were never separated from their bodies. They've occupied them across various weights. This phrase is not about a woman getting back something she lost as much as it as about our approval that she has returned to something we want her to be. What is meant by this phrase is "We got her body back." We got the body we felt entitled to.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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And they know they are not drawn to the bulb at the back of the oven, but by the flare signals sent out by their fellow travelers. They are flashes of light and recognition, momentary reflections of the sun onto a shred of glitter. But they are something vital nonetheless.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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I think often of this song in contrast to “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” and how Beyoncé was right, as she often is, even when she doesn’t always mean to be. Girls run the world in the sense that they perform the invisible and unappreciated labors that keep the world on its axis. That is different from doing what everyone wants to do, which is rule the world. We don’t speak of world leaders who run countries but of world leaders who rule countries. Running a thing is to toil in tedious and uncredited roles; ruling a thing is to hold dominion over it enough that little toil is required.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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I had heard of Virginia before only in passing, a "crazy ex" with whom things had not ended well. I was accustomed to this lazy shorthand for men who dislike the emotions of women.
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)
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Young girls are smarter than they're given credit for, and more resilient too. They like what they like for good reason. They seek to build kingdoms out of their favorite people and things...
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Alana Massey (All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers)