Kluger Quotes

Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins.

A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes.

Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn't necessarily mean there's any attraction.

Ale: Are you manipulating me again? T.C.: Try not to fall for it. I dare you.

It doesn't matter what people thinks of you as long as you know that your heart and head are in the right place.

Falling hard for somebody makes you do things you never thought you'd do before. Like pulling off an A in History or finally facing the truth about yourself

Augie: Does everybody else know? T.C.: About my epitaph? Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face! T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.

Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men.

Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.

. . . it's not just the people we love, but the people we let love us back who show us how high we can really soar.

And if Henry Higgins is not the most reprehensible character ever written for the stage, that's only because somewhere, somehow, someone is composing a musical biography of Ronald Reagan

Madam Kluger, pufoasă, apretată şi cu genele atât de albe încât par pudrate cu zahăr, îmi face un cornet artistic [...]

Even though I didn't notice it while it was happening, I got reminded in ninth grade of a few things I guess I should have known all along. 1. A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes. 2. Always remember what it was like to be six. 3. Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins. And if you're reall lucky, maybe even a purple balloon.

We make families of our own, Travis whispered in my arms on the last night we spent together. It starts with you and me and then it spreads. And whatever happens, there’ll always be a part of me that’s part of you. No matter what.

Say 'Kenmore Square'," I insist. "Kenmaw Sqway-ah." "Say 'Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina.'" "Nothing could be finah than to be in Caroliner.'" "You're doing that on purpose." "I'm not. I sway-ah.

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

Romance isn't just about roses or killing dragons or sailing a kayak around the world. It's also about chocolate chip cookies and sharing The Grateful Dead and James Taylor with me in the middle of the night, and believing me when I say that you could be bigger than both of them put together, and not making fun of me for straightening out my french fries or pointing my shoelaces in the same direction, and letting me pout when I don't get my own way, and pretending that if I play "Flower Drum Song" one more time you won't throw me and the record out the window

It's a lot easier to patch things up with somebody when he doesn't even know you were pissed off at him in the first place.

The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.

There's a reason narcissists don't learn from mistakes and that's because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. It's always an assistant's fault, an adviser's fault, a lawyer's fault. Ask them to account for a mistake any other way and they'll say, 'what mistake?

REAL LIFE vs THE MOVIES Breaking Up in the Movies: Boy #1: This isn’t working out, is it? Boy #2: Sort of not, huh? Boy #1: You can’t say we didn’t try. Boy #2: We sure did. Besides, we’re still best friends. Boy #1: Forever. Boy #2: This is terrific pasta. Breaking Up for Real: Boy #1: Are you asleep? Boy #2: Does it sound like it? Boy #1: I’m sorry about the tuna fish. Boy #2: It isn’t the tuna fish! It’s the last six months! Boy #1: You’re an asshole. Boy #2: Let go of my cock.

You got a boyfriend or something?” I hate it when he figures me out before I have a chance to do it myself. Especially when I’ve been counting on at least seven more years of denial.

Mr. Herbert Demarest Alexander Hamilton Jr. High 2236 Bedford Avenue Brooklyn NY Dear Mr Demarest, Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass. Chas. Banks 3d Base

Why do guys insist on wearing those odious jeans with their rear ends hanging down around their ankles? Do they really think it's hot?

Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.

Oh, no. This has "marriage" written all over it. Travis, read my lips: remember that Fellini film with the prostitute who says that every new sunrise makes her a virgin? It doesn't work that way with me. Even the sun thinks I'm a slut.

TRAVIS: I never said I like boys! GORDO: Ever beat off to Penthouse? TRAVIS: No. GORDO: Ever collect baseball cards? TRAVIS: No. GORDO: How old is Barbra Streisand? TRAVIS: 36. Three weeks ago. GORDO:What do you need—a fucking blueprint?

T.C.: Um, actually you just said "I live in a parking lot." You didn't mean to do that. Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning.

The cost of contemplating history is often an uneasy conscience.

Here's to us. Who's like us? Damn few.

It would have served me right if I'd had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot--until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about.

There's a reason narcissists don't learn from mistakes and that's because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. It's always an assistant's fault, an adviser's fault, a lawyer's fault. Ask them to account for a mistake any other way and they'll say, 'what mistake?

Ale Perez What happened to your right hand? TCKeller hucky made me finger-spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious untill he got it right. it took an hour and a half. i still can't hold a fork. what's the favour.

When T falls in love, he does it with the whole world at once.

This week my son thinks he's the Supremes.All of them. So we can scratch "straight"off the list. At least I hope we can. As a gay kid he'll be a natural leader. Put him in a macho bullshit environment and he's going to have a hard time. I don't want that to happen. (Let's also not forget Wei's immortal words to him nine minutes after he was born, when she first stared into those big brown eyes: "Oh, honey. Promose me you'll grow up to like boys. Because I don't want any other woman in your life except me.")

Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me.

PROFESSOR:What do we call a patient with paranoid schizophrenic tendencies who still manages to assimilate himself into the social structure? CRAIG: A Republican.

As the writer Jeffrey Kluger puts it in The Sibling Effect, ‘From the time they are born, our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales . . . Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we’ll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life.

What do you mean Taurus? he frowns. I'm not a Taurus. You were born on the cusp, I remind him. Jason merely shrugs. Shows what you know, Scotty, I was born in Ohio. I can take him anywhere but out.

Your head and your heart are two different things. One of them can get you into trouble and the other can't. It's okay to be scared when you can't tell them apart. That happened to me every day of my life. But nobody saw it except you.

Now, the scene you just saw," I began, pointing to the stage. "Was about you and T.C.," he concluded, nodding like he already knew. "What??" "She pretends she doesn't like him and he pretends he doesn't care." I had no handy rebuttal to that particular allegation and wouldn't have been able to come up with one if I'd been given a week's notice. So I countered with the only safe reply I could think of. "The toilet is not working properly.

What I don’t understand is how come I got seven thousand chromosomes that make me smart and not a single one that makes me cool.

After you've spent four years kissing somebody's perineum, the subtext talks louder than words.

Alexander Hamilton Junior High School -- SEMESTER REPORT -- STUDENT: Joseph Margolis TEACHER: Janet Hicks ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES: A, SCIENCE: A, NEATNESS: A, PUNCTUALITY: A, PARTICIPATION: A, OBEDIENCE: D Teacher's Comments: Joseph remains a challenging student. While I appreciate his creativity, I am sure you will agree that a classroom is an inappropriate forum for a reckless imagination. There is not a shred of evidence to support his claim that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian, and even fewer grounds to explain why he even knows what the word means. Similarly, an analysis of the Constitutional Convention does not generate sufficient cause to initiate a two-hour classroom debate on what types of automobiles the Founding Fathers would have driven were they alive today. When asked on a subsequent examination, "What did Benjamin Franklin use to discover electricity?" eleven children responded "A Packard convertible". I trust you see my problem. [...] Janet Hicks Parent's Comments: As usual I am very proud of Joey's grades. I too was unaware that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian. I assumed they were all Protestants. Thank you for writing. Ida Margolis

Ale Perez I can't imagine why anyone would choose to be male. It's just so unsubtle. Women only have to deal with breasts, which are what they are. They don't suddenly stand up whenever they feel like it and begin pointing at something they want. Augie Hwong You SO don't know what you're missing.

Remember where you're standing when the spotlight goes off," Lovell warned me once, when our book was a best-seller and the movie it spawned was in theatres. "You'll have to find your own way off the stage.

There was no established way for a man to tell his wife he was going to the moon. A man could tell his wife he was going to sea or going to war; men had been doing that for millennia. But the moon? It was a whole new conversation.

The Bible, Shakespeare, Milton, Melville—the masters of the King’s English all promoted the easy imagery of black as vile and white as purity and thereby fed a deep and potent racism that well served all who would enslave the black men of Africa.

Wars, and hence the memories of wars, are owned by the male species. And facism is a decidely male property, whether you were for or against it. Besides, women have no past, or aren't supposed to have one. A man can have an interesting past, a woman only indecent.

Hucky was so dazzled by the view of the colored lights from Forty-seventh Street, he could only manage to ask me two questions: (1) "doesn't it look like Christmas?" and (2) "Why is that man peeing on the street?" So I told him (1) "Yes," and (2) "Because that's the way they do it in New York. But you have to have a license first." I had to lie through my teeth about the last part because I'd already jumped ahead to what he was planning when we got out of the cab.

We consider the underlying fallacy of the plaintiff’s argument to consist in the assumption that the enforced separation of the two races stamps the colored race with a badge of inferiority. If this be so, it is not by reason of anything found in the act, but solely because the colored race chooses to put that construction upon it.

Among them was a hypocritical charge, in his original draft of the Declaration, that the King of England was a prime promoter of the slave trade. But Jefferson’s language was so sharply chastising that, had it been included in the Declaration, it would have deeply undermined continuation of slavery once the colonies had severed ties to the alleged instigator of the loathsome practice. And this the slaveholding South was not prepared to consider; the offending words were struck from the great document.

Would you care to comment on the complexities of the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine?” Yeah, about as much as I’d care to have a Fleet enema, sir.

Scientists didn't need to figure this out—Travis did it for them.

And as long as I’m being brutally candid, I only wound up teaching American History because I followed a cute ass into the country-and-western section at Barnes & Noble

Hey Trav, When I first got in this course, I didn’t want a pervert teaching me. Now I don’t mind. —Tony

If I weren't so depressed, I'd kill myself.

Small children, by their very nature, are moral monsters.

His way to wisdom was to hear out others who might or might not know any more than he did and then to sift it all through his own mental strainer.

No better example of the price of economic dependency may be culled from U.S. history than the sustained erosion of the African American’s civil rights.

Americans, from the beginning and throughout much of their history, were a warrior people when dealing with those who stood in their path.

When you get famous or rich and maybe you think that you wish I was there to see it, remember that one way or the other I am.

Its dominant voice belonged to the seventy-three-year-old Pennsylvanian Thaddeus Stevens, a founder of the Republican Party, who declared that America did not stand for “white man’s government” and to say as much was “political blasphemy, for it violates the fundamental principles of our gospel of liberty. This is man’s government; the government of all men alike.

White Americans cannot deny their long history of abusive transactions with people of color. These offenses, it should be noted out of fairness, can be explained in part by the fact that no other sizable national state has ever been formed from the confluence of so many diverse ethnic streams. All our heterogeneous ferment no doubt made contentiousness inevitable.

The last thing you will always remember is the most important one. A long time ago I told you I did not know for a fact yet that you were somebody special. Now I do. I love you Bucko.

How come you kept them from smithereening me when we didn’t even know each other yet?” “You never saw your ass in football pants. It would have been like letting them take a jackhammer to the Mona Lisa.

Still, it had been a triumphal six-week tour. The nervy, smooth-talking governor had dispossessed the natives of 20,000 square miles without firing a shot. In return, the Indians were given nine reservations totaling about 93 square miles and promised $300,000 in hardware over the next two decades and a few vocational services. The U.S. government was subject to no penalties if it welshed on any of its promises.

The most important thing now, as fast as conditions are changing, is that no Negro tolerate any ceiling on his ambitions or imagination. Good luck and don’t have any doubts; you haven’t time for such foolishness.

Kluger notes that these cases arguably amount to “personal injury claims in disguise,” and that the Supreme Court has ruled that federal cigarette-labeling laws are an effective shield against such claims. Logically, in other words, the states ought to be suing smokers, not cigarette makers. And perhaps smokers, in turn, ought to be suing Social Security and private pension funds for all the money they’ll save by dying early.

Everyone has something worth it inside of them even if it doesn’t show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder than other times but don’t give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base.

That act, on December 7, 1787, is perhaps Delaware’s sole claim to distinction as a champion of democracy. Certainly it was long hostile to the Negro, probably longer and more defiantly so than any other state outside of the Confederacy.

Let's also not forget Wei's immortal words to him nine minutes after he was born, when she first stared into those big brown eyes: 'Oh, honey. Promise me you'll grow up to like boys. Because I don't want any other woman in your life except me.

But Borman does remember one telegram—from a sender he didn’t know—and he still likes to talk about it. The telegram said, simply, “Thank you, Apollo 8. You saved 1968.” That, Borman realized, made him feel happier than gazing up at the moon ever did.

Even though I didn't notice it while it was happening, I got reminded in ninth grade of a few things I guess I should have known all along: 1. A first kiss after five months means more than a first kiss after five minutes. 2. Always remember what it was like to be six 3. Never, ever stop believing in magic, no matter how old you get. Because if you keep looking long enough and don't give up, sooner or later you're going to find Mary Poppins. And if your really lucky, maybe even a purple balloon. Thanks, Mama. I love you.

It is time for South Carolina to rejoin the Union. It is time to fall in step with the other states and to adopt the American way of conducting elections.… Racial distinctions cannot exist in the machinery that selects the officers and lawmakers of the United States.

Strong Points: I could definitely spend the rest of my life with him. Shortcomings: He killed his last boyfriend (acquitted: involuntary manslaughter). Comments: The knockout blonde he kept having lunch with wasn’t his lover—she was his attorney. Serves me right for spying on him.

My mother claims she didn’t raise her son to settle down with a construction foreman who operates his own hardware chain. Even with the M.B.A. from Harvard. But it’s not really the blue-collar thing that crawled up her ass. She and Clayton haven’t agreed on anything since she found out he makes more money than she does.

Scholars have estimated that by 1850, the aboriginal population in North America—besieged by the invaders’ explosive weaponry, wondrous technology, contemptuous cruelty, and irresistible pathogens, as well as the Indians’ own ever-deepening despair—was just one-tenth of what it had been when Columbus first ventured ashore.

The essence of this detrimental effect is a confusion in the child’s concept of his own self-esteem—basic feelings of inferiority, conflict, confusion in his self-image, resentment, hostility towards himself, hostility towards whites, intensification of … a desire to resolve his basic conflict by sometimes escaping or withdrawing.

For all the drama, romance and seeming magic of childbearing, what happy expectant parents are really celebrating is nothing more than a parasite-host relationship. At the moment of conception, an effectively alien creature commandeers the mother's womb and uses it as a sort of beachhead from which to seize control of her entire body.

By far the most important psychological and political part of the Hayes compromise package, of course, was the withdrawal of all federal troops from the South. It was far better, said the new President, for the white man and the black man of the South to make their peace together than to live in constant tension under the surveillance of a federal garrison.

Among other targets of protest was the infuriating Red Cross practice of separating Negro from white contributions to blood banks for the aid of wounded servicemen—a division made all the more distasteful by the fact that the plasma-preserving process that made blood banks practical had been largely developed by a Negro, Dr. Charles Drew of Howard University.

Iron is food for bacteria. They thrive on it. Humans have evolved a means of starving these bacteria. When a person gets an infection, the body produces a chemical (leukocyte endogenous mediator) that reduces blood levels of iron. At the same time, the infected person spontaneously reduces the consumption of iron-rich food such as ham and eggs, and the human body reduces the absorption of whatever iron is consumed (Nesse & Williams, 1994). These natural bodily reactions essentially starve the bacteria, paving the way to combat the infection for a quick recovery. Although this information has been available since the 1970s, apparently few physicians and pharmacists know about it (Kluger, 1991). They continue to recommend iron supplements, which interfere with our evolved means for combating the hostile force of infections.

the President of the United States addressed the thirty-eighth annual conference of the NAACP assembled before the Lincoln Memorial. “The extension of civil rights today means not protection of the people against the government, but protection of the people by the government,” Truman declared. “We must make the federal government a friendly, vigilant defender of the rights and equalities of all Americans. And again I mean all Americans.” No President had ever dared say such a thing.

Another problem is confusion in the mind of the child—confusion concerning basic moral ideology—and a conflict which is set up in the child who belongs to the segregating group in terms of having the same people teach him democracy, brotherhood, love of his fellow man, and teaching him also to segregate and to discriminate. Most of these social scientists believe that this sets off in the personalities of these children a fundamental confusion in the entire moral sphere of their lives.

… There is absolutely no reasonable explanation for racial prejudice. It is all caused by unreasoning emotional reactions and these are gained in early childhood. Let the little child’s mind be poisoned by prejudice of this kind and it is practically impossible to remove these impressions, however many years he may have of teaching by philosophers, religious leaders or patriotic citizens. If segregation is wrong, then the place to stop it is in the first grade and not in graduate colleges.

The most piteous thing amid all the black ruin of war-time,” W. E. B. Du Bois would write a generation afterward, “amid the broken fortunes of the masters, the blighted hopes of mothers and maidens, and the fall of an empire,—the most piteous thing amid all this was the black freedman who threw down his hoe because the world called him free. What did such a mockery of freedom mean? Not a cent of money, not an inch of land, not a mouthful of victuals,—not even ownership of the rags on his back. Free!

The most decisive and certainly most delicious option for an aggrieved worker in a narcissist’s office is simply quitting. Slamming your resignation letter on the boss’s desk and striding out to take a better job somewhere else is satisfying and in both its finality and its totality. Instantly the feared figure is stripped of all power, reduced to a person of utter inconsequence in your life. Not only does this spell immediate freedom for the exiting employee, it can also contribute to the long-term decline of the boss.

… How can we say that we deeply revere the principles of our Declaration and our Constitution and yet refuse to recognize those principles when they are to be applied to the American Negro in a down-to-earth fashion? During election campaigns and in Fourth of July speeches, many speakers emphasize that these great principles apply to all Americans. But when you ask many of these same speakers to act or vote so that those great principles apply in fact to Negro-Americans, you may be accused of being unfair, idealistic or even pro-Communist. … A person has real moral courage when, being in a position to make decisions or determine policies, he decides that the qualified Negro will be admitted to a school of nursing [as had recently been done at St. Francis Hospital in Wilmington]; that the Negro, like the white, will receive a fair trial no matter what the public feeling may be; that every Catholic school, church and institution shall be open to all Catholics—not at some distant future time when public opinion happens to coincide with Catholic moral teaching—but now. Are these requests of our business, governmental and religious leaders too much to ask? I think not.

… The cloak of racism surrounding the actions of the Brotherhood in refusing membership to Negroes and in entering into and enforcing agreements discriminating against them, all under the guise of Congressional authority, still remains. No statutory interpretation can erase this ugly example of economic cruelty against colored citizens of the United States.… A sound democracy cannot allow such discrimination to go unchallenged. Racism is far too virulent today to permit the slightest refusal, in the light of a Constitution that abhors it, to expose and condemn it wherever it appears in the course of a statutory interpretation.

Too often in the previous months, he told the silent controllers, potential problems had been dismissed with a casual “that can’t happen” wave. Maybe the ship had a balky breaker, but it would never cause a fuel cell to fail in flight. Maybe those new pyrotechnics were a little temperamental, but they could never make a parachute fail to deploy. And as for pumping pure oxygen into the cockpit, it had never caused any problems before, had it? But what if it did? What would you do then? That was the critical question no one had been raising. It was not good enough to ask what you would accept. Instead, you had to ask what action you would take today to prevent the failure from ever happening. The answer you gave should always satisfy one final question: What is the very best thing to do in this situation?

At one stage in the heated intramural debate, ex-ACS president and longtime director Alton Ochsner took the floor and regaled his eminent colleagues with a tale intended to disarm those still unpersuaded by the proof against smoking. There was a certain Russian count, Ochsner told them, who, suspecting his attractive young wife of infidelity, advised her that he was leaving their home for an extended trip, but in fact posted himself at a nearby residence to spy on her. The very first night after his leave-taking, the count watched by moonlight as a sleigh pulled up to his house, a handsome lieutenant from the Czar's Guard bounded out, the count's wife greeted the hussar at the door and led him inside, and in a moment the couple was seen through an upstairs bedroom window in candlelit silhouette as they wildly embraced; after another moment the candle was blown out. "Proof! Proof!" said the anguished count, smiting himself on the brow. "If I only had the proof!

Kraft—making his presence felt at NASA in much the same way he had at NACA—had established one of the most important of the space agency’s growing list of flight rules: If you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything at all.

As far as the people in NASA’s public affairs office were concerned, there was entirely too much conversation about balls and urine going on between the Apollo 8 astronauts and Mission Control.

There would be no moon maps in Frank Borman’s house, however

The television show from inside the spacecraft would be even worse, with the happy, cocky Americans showing off for their countrymen back home—and showing up the people of Russia.

Fortunately, the complex separation maneuver would be made somewhat easier because part of the procedure was preloaded, which meant the computer had all of the nouns memorized. All Lovell needed to provide were the verbs.

Mr. Puckett,” he grunted, with snakes coming out his eyes, “have you something to say?” Boy, did he ever.

Mr. McKenna: In the unlikely event that you achieved this of your own accord without any outside assistance, you’re to be commended. Otherwise, disregard the accolade.

It would have served me right if I’d had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot—until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about.