β
You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.
β
β
Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)
β
You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.
β
β
James Baldwin
β
All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.
β
β
Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1))
β
When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
β
β
Henri J.M. Nouwen (Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life)
β
We live in a world where joy and empathy and pleasure are all around us, there for the noticing.
β
β
Ira Glass
β
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
β
β
Ernest Hemingway
β
Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.
β
β
Roy T. Bennett
β
Whenever you feel like criticizing any one...just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.
β
β
F. Scott Fitzgerald
β
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
β
β
Elisabeth KΓΌbler-Ross
β
for there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.
β
β
Milan Kundera (The Unbearable Lightness of Being)
β
It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.
β
β
John Joseph Powell (The Secret of Staying in Love)
β
Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?
β
β
Marcus Aurelius (Meditations)
β
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
β
β
Leo F. Buscaglia
β
To perceive is to suffer.
β
β
Aristotle
β
If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.
β
β
BrenΓ© Brown (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead)
β
We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.
β
β
Dietrich Bonhoeffer (Letters and Papers from Prison)
β
A fight is going on inside me," said an old man to his son. "It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you."
The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, "Which wolf will win?"
The old man replied simply, "The one you feed.
β
β
Wendy Mass (Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life)
β
Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.
β
β
BrenΓ© Brown (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead)
β
Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.
β
β
Daniel Goleman (Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships)
β
Animal lovers are a special breed of humans, generous of spirit, full of empathy, perhaps a little prone to sentimentality, and with hearts as big as a cloudless sky
β
β
John Grogan (Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog)
β
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.
β
β
Walt Whitman (Song of Myself)
β
My greatest wish for humanity is not for peace or comfort or joy. It is that we all still die a little inside every time we witness the death of another. For only the pain of empathy will keep us human. Thereβs no version of God that can help us if we ever lose that.
β
β
Neal Shusterman (Scythe (Arc of a Scythe, #1))
β
Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledgeβ¦ is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in anotherβs world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.
β
β
Bill Bullard
β
Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion, and empathy.
β
β
Dean Koontz
β
Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.
β
β
Anthon St. Maarten
β
I did not know how to reach him, how to catch up with him... The land of tears is so mysterious.
β
β
Antoine de Saint-ExupΓ©ry (The Little Prince)
β
I canβt lose the thing Iβve held onto for so long, you know?β My face twists up from the pain of pushing it out. βI just really need it to be a love story, you know? I really, really need it to be that.β
βI know,β she says.
βBecause if it isnβt a love story, then what is itβ? I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. βItβs my life,β I say. βThis has been my whole life.
β
β
Kate Elizabeth Russell (My Dark Vanessa)
β
Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.
β
β
Andrew Boyd (Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe)
β
Help someone, you earn a friend. Help someone too much, you make an enemy.
β
β
Erol Ozan
β
What an uncomfortable, terrible source of shame it is for the world that the victim is so often the one left with the most empathy for others.
β
β
Fredrik Backman (Beartown (Beartown, #1))
β
Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.
β
β
Joseph Fort Newton
β
No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care
β
β
Theodore Roosevelt
β
The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.
β
β
Louis C.K.
β
Itβs important that what thoughts you are feeding into your mind because your thoughts create your belief and experiences. You have positive thoughts and you have negative ones too. Nurture your mind with positive thoughts: kindness, empathy, compassion, peace, love, joy, humility, generosity, etc. The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts, the more you can attract great things into your life.
β
β
Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
β
In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy,
β
β
Abby Jimenez (Just for the Summer)
β
There are so many men, all endlessly attempting to sweep me off my feet. And there is one of you, trying just the opposite. Making sure my feet are firm beneath me, lest I fall.
β
β
Patrick Rothfuss (The Wise Man's Fear (The Kingkiller Chronicle, #2))
β
Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don't know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.
β
β
C. JoyBell C.
β
Empathy is the most radical of human emotions.
β
β
Gloria Steinem
β
I want to be clear about this. If you wrote from experience, you'd get maybe one book, maybe three poems. Writers write from empathy.
β
β
Nikki Giovanni
β
Are you proud of yourself tonight that you have insulted a total stranger whose circumstances you know nothing about?
β
β
Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)
β
I call him religious who understands the suffering of others.
β
β
Mahatma Gandhi
β
When good people consider you the bad guy, you develop a heart to help the bad ones. You actually understand them.
β
β
Criss Jami (Killosophy)
β
It can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training.
β
β
Douglas Adams (Mostly Harmless (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #5))
β
...treat people with understanding when you can, and fake it when you can't
until you do understand.
β
β
Kim Harrison
β
I think it's easy to mistake understanding for empathy - we want empathy so badly. Maybe learning to make that distinction is part of growing up. It's hard and ugly to know somebody can understand you without even liking you.
β
β
Thomas Harris (Hannibal (Hannibal Lecter, #3))
β
None of us can choose where we shall love...
β
β
Susan Kay (Phantom)
β
Itβs like when youβre excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means youβre happy, too.
β
β
Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
β
I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization.
β
β
Roger Ebert
β
Good works is giving to the poor and the helpless, but divine works is showing them their worth to the One who matters.
β
β
Criss Jami (Killosophy)
β
The judge had given Brock something that would never be extended to me: empathy. My pain was never more valuable than his potential.
β
β
Chanel Miller (Know My Name: A Memoir)
β
One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.
β
β
Shannon L. Alder
β
The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other.
β
β
Meryl Streep
β
I think the act of reading imbues the reader with a sensitivity toward the outside world that people who don't read can sometimes lack. I know it seems like a contradiction in terms; after all reading is such a solitary, internalizing act that it appears to represent a disengagement from day-to-day life. But reading, and particularly the reading of fiction, encourages us to view the world in new and challenging ways...It allows us to inhabit the consciousness of another which is a precursor to empathy, and empathy is, for me, one of the marks of a decent human being.
β
β
John Connolly (The Book of Lost Things (The Book of Lost Things, #1))
β
Peace,love,empathy
β
β
Kurt Cobain
β
People die from lack of shared empathy and affinity. By establishing social connectedness, we give hope a chance and the other can become heaven. ( "Le ciel c'est l'autre" )
β
β
Erik Pevernagie
β
Feeling too much is a hell of a lot better than feeling nothing.
β
β
Nora Roberts (Midnight Bayou)
β
Reading isnβt important because it helps to get you a job. Itβs important because it gives you room to exist beyond the reality youβre given. It is how humans merge. How minds connect. Dreams. Empathy. Understanding. Escape. Reading is love in action.
β
β
Matt Haig (Notes on a Nervous Planet)
β
Happiness doesn't lie in conspicuous consumption and the relentless amassing of useless crap. Happiness lies in the person sitting beside you and your ability to talk to them. Happiness is clear-headed human interaction and empathy. Happiness is home. And home is not a house-home is a mythological conceit. It is a state of mind. A place of communion and unconditional love. It is where, when you cross its threshold, you finally feel at peace.
β
β
Dennis Lehane
β
Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and, therefore, the foundation of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.
β
β
J.K. Rowling
β
This place was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds - the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions.. the most malevolent desires, the darkest deeds. Perhaps it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached.
β
β
Stephenie Meyer (The Host (The Host, #1))
β
Empathy is not simply a matter of trying to imagine what others are going through, but having the will to muster enough courage to do something about it. In a way, empathy is predicated upon hope.
β
β
Cornel West
β
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
β
β
Steve Martin
β
When I get ready to talk to people, I spend two thirds of the time thinking what they want to hear and one third thinking about what I want to say.
β
β
Abraham Lincoln
β
Nelson Mandela once said, 'If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.' He was so right. When you make the effort to speak someone else's language, even if it's just basic phrases here and there, you are saying to them, 'I understand that you have a culture and identity that exists beyond me. I see you as a human being
β
β
Trevor Noah (Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood)
β
Read it with sorrow and you will feel hate.
Read it with anger and you will feel vengeful.
Read it with paranoia and you will feel confusion.
Read it with empathy and you will feel compassion.
Read it with love and you will feel flattery.
Read it with hope and you will feel positive.
Read it with humor and you will feel joy.
Read it with God and you will feel the truth.
Read it without bias and you will feel peace.
Don't read it at all and you will not feel a thing.
β
β
Shannon L. Alder
β
It's the hardest thing in the world to go on being aware of someone else's pain.
β
β
Pat Barker
β
No one reaches out to you for compassion or empathy so you can teach them how to behave better. They reach out to us because they believe in our capacity to know our darkness well enough to sit in the dark with them.
β
β
BrenΓ© Brown (The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage)
β
Empathy, he once had decided, must be limited to herbivores or anyhow omnivores who could depart from a meat diet. Because, ultimately, the empathic gift blurred the boundaries between hunter and victim, between the successful and the defeated.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
Racism is not merely a simplistic hatred. It is, more often, broad sympathy toward some and broader skepticism toward others.
β
β
Ta-Nehisi Coates (We Were Eight Years in Power: An American Tragedy)
β
Itβs not so much the journey thatβs important; as is the way that we treat those we encounter and those around us, along the way
β
β
Jeremy Aldana
β
Itβs hard to care about people. Exhausting, in fact, because empathy is a complicated thing. It requires us to accept that everyone elseβs lives are also going on the whole time. We have no pause button for when everything gets too much for us to deal with, but then neither does anyone else.
β
β
Fredrik Backman (Us Against You (Beartown, #2))
β
Sooner or later in life, we will all take our own turn being in the position we once had someone else in.
β
β
Ashly Lorenzana
β
Reading fiction not only develops our imagination and creativity, it gives us the skills to be alone. It gives us the ability to feel empathy for people we've never met, living lives we couldn't possibly experience for ourselves, because the book puts us inside the character's skin.
β
β
Ann Patchett
β
Sure, we'd faced some things as children that a lot of kids don't. Sure, Justin had qualified for his Junior de Sade Badge in his teaching methods for dealing with pain. We still hadn't learned, though, that growing up is all about getting hurt. And then getting over it. You hurt. You recover. You move on. Odds are pretty good you're just going to get hurt again. But each time, you learn something.
Each time, you come out of it a little stronger, and at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind - gradutaing, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expecations. There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you're very, very lucky, there are a very few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realized that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last - and yet will remain with you for life.
Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it.
Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but either way, it's a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.
β
β
Jim Butcher
β
Honest self-reflection is true self-reflection.
β
β
Milan Kordestani (I'm Just Saying: A Guide to Maintaining Civil Discourse in an Increasingly Divided World)
β
Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.
β
β
Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate)
β
We all suffer alone in the real world. True empathy's impossible. But if a piece of fiction can alow us imaginatively to identify with a character's pain, we might then also more easily conceive of others identifying with their own. This is nourishing, redemptive; we become less alone inside. It might just be that simple.
β
β
David Foster Wallace
β
How else would you get to live a thousand lives in the span of only one? The beauty of fiction is that it makes you feel things on a visceral level. You can cry with those characters, laugh with them. It teaches you to look at anotherβs perspective, to have empathy. In nonfiction, you simply learn about something instead of feeling it.
β
β
Liz Tomforde (The Right Move (Windy City, #2))
β
Itβs estimated that AI could free up to 25% of clinician time across different specialties. This increased amount of time could mean less hurried encounters and more humane interactions, including more empathy from happier doctors. This is important because empathy has been shown to improve outcomes by boosting patient adherence to the prescribed treatments, increasing motivation, and reducing anxiety and stress.
β
β
Ronald M. Razmi (AI Doctor: The Rise of Artificial Intelligence in Healthcare - A Guide for Users, Buyers, Builders, and Investors)
β
Animals are more than ever a test of our character, of mankind's capacity for empathy and for decent, honorable conduct and faithful stewardship. We are called to treat them with kindness, not because they have rights or power or some claim to equality, but in a sense because they don't; because they all stand unequal and powerless before us.
β
β
Matthew Scully (Dominion: The Power of Man, the Suffering of Animals, and the Call to Mercy)
β
The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.
β
β
Erich Fromm (The Art of Loving)
β
Each person you meet
is an aspect of yourself,
clamoring for love.
β
β
Eric Micha'el Leventhal
β
Itβs exceedingly difficult for employees to have the companyβs back when they canβt trust the company to have theirs. Actually, itβs impossible.
β
β
Hanna Hasl-Kelchner (Seeking Fairness at Work: Cracking the New Code of Greater Employee Engagement, Retention & Satisfaction)
β
Only a psychopath would ever think of doing these things, only a psychopath would dream of abusing other people in such a way, only a psychopath would treat people as less than human just for money. The shocking truth is, even though they now have most if not all of the money, they want still more, they want all of the money that you have left in your pockets, they want it all because they have no empathy with other people, with other creatures, they have no feeling for the world which they exploit, they have no love or sense of being or belonging for their souls are dead, dead to all things but greed and a desire to rule over others.
β
β
Arun D. Ellis (Corpalism)
β
I never felt like that before. Maybe it could be depression, like you get. I can understand how you suffer now when you're depressed; I always thought you liked it and I thought you could have snapped yourself out any time, if not alone then by means of the mood organ. But when you get that depressed you don't care. Apathy, because you've lost a sense of worth. It doesn't matter whether you feel better because you have no worth.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
If we are to love our neighbors, before doing anything else we must see our neighbors. With our imagination as well as our eyes, that is to say like artists, we must see not just their faces but the life behind and within their faces. Here it is love that is the frame we see them in.
β
β
Frederick Buechner (Whistling in the Dark: A Doubter's Dictionary)
β
A man, to be greatly good, must imagine intensely and comprehensively; he must put himself in the place of another and many others; the pains and pleasures of his species must become his own. The great instrument of moral good is the imagination.
β
β
Percy Bysshe Shelley (A Defence of Poetry and Other Essays)
β
Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didnβt learn a thing. God doesnβt bring you lessons to close your heart. He brings you lessons to open it, by developing compassion, learning to listen, seeking to understand instead of speculating, practicing empathy and developing conflict resolution through communication. If he brought you perfect people, how would you ever learn to spiritually evolve?
β
β
Shannon L. Alder
β
In short, physicians are getting more and more data, which requires more sophisticated interpretation and which takes more time. AI is the solution, enhancing every stage of patient care from research and discovery to diagnosis and therapy selection. As a result, clinical practice will become more efficient, convenient, personalized, and effective.
β
β
Ronald M. Razmi (AI Doctor: The Rise of Artificial Intelligence in Healthcare - A Guide for Users, Buyers, Builders, and Investors)
β
The quality you most admire in a man? Courage moral and physical: 'anima'βthe ability to think like a woman. Also a sense of the absurd.
The quality you most admire in a woman? Courage moral and physical: βanimaββthe ability to visualize the mind and need of a man. Also a sense of the absurd.
β
β
Christopher Hitchens (Hitch 22: A Memoir)
β
Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view.
Sunday dinner isn't sunny. Easter feasts are just bad luck. When you see it from the viewpoint of a chicken or a duck. Oh how I once loved tuna salad Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too Till I stopped and looked at dinner From the dinner's point of view.
β
β
Shel Silverstein
β
The Anatomy of Conflict:
If there is no communication then there is no respect. If there is no respect then there is no caring. If there is no caring then there is no understanding. If there is no understanding then there is no compassion. If there is no compassion then there is no empathy. If there is no empathy then there is no forgiveness. If there is no forgiveness then there is no kindness. If there is no kindness then there is no honesty. If there is no honesty then there is no love. If there is no love then God doesn't reside there. If God doesn't reside there then there is no peace. If there is no peace then there is no happiness. If there is no happiness ----then there IS CONFLICT BECAUSE THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION!
β
β
Shannon L. Alder
β
There is something profoundly cynical, my friends, in the notion of paradise after death. The lure is evasion. The promise is excusative. One need not accept responsibility for the world as it is, and by extension, one need do nothing about it. To strive for change, for true goodness in this mortal world, one must acknowledge and accept, within one's own soul, that this mortal reality has purpose in itself, that its greatest value is not for us, but for our children and their children. To view life as but a quick passage alone a foul, tortured path β made foul and tortured by our own indifference β is to excuse all manner of misery and depravity, and to exact cruel punishment upon the innocent lives to come.
I defy this notion of paradise beyond the gates of bone. If the soul truly survives the passage, then it behooves us β each of us, my friends β to nurture a faith in similitude: what awaits us is a reflection of what we leave behind, and in the squandering of our mortal existence, we surrender the opportunity to learn the ways of goodness, the practice of sympathy, empathy, compassion and healing β all passed by in our rush to arrive at a place of glory and beauty, a place we did not earn, and most certainly do not deserve.
β
β
Steven Erikson (The Bonehunters (Malazan Book of the Fallen, #6))
β
Arrogance is someone claiming to have come to Christ, but they won't spend more than five minutes listening to your journey because they are more concerned about their own well being, rather than being a true disciple of Christ. Blessed is the person that takes the time to heal and hear another person so they can move on.
β
β
Shannon L. Alder
β
The faculty to think objectively is reason; the emotional attitude behind reason is that of humility. To be objective, to use one's reason, is possible only if one has achieved an attitude of humility, if one has emerged from the dreams of omniscience and omnipotence which one has as a child. Love, being dependent on the relative absence of narcissism, requires the developement of humility, objectivity and reason.
I must try to see the difference between my picture of a person and his behavior, as it is narcissistically distorted, and the person's reality as it exists regardless of my interests, needs and fears.
β
β
Erich Fromm (The Art of Loving)
β
Radical empathy, on the other hand, means putting in the work to educate oneself and to listen with a humble heart to understand another's experience from their perspective, not as we imagine we would feel. Radical empathy is not about you and what you think you would do in a situation you have never been in and perhaps never will. It is the kindred connection from a place of deep knowing that opens your spirit to the pain of another as they perceive it.
Empathy is no substitute for the experience itself. We don't get to tell a person with a broken leg or a bullet wound that they are not in pain. And people who have hit the caste lottery are not in a position to tell a person who has suffered under the tyranny of caste what is offensive or hurtful or demeaning to those at the bottom. The price of privilege is the moral duty to act when one sees another person treated unfairly. And the least that a person in the dominant caste can do is not make the pain any worse.
β
β
Isabel Wilkerson (Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents)
β
What people don't understand about depression is how much it hurts. It's like your brain is convinced that it's dying and produces an acid that eats away at you from the inside, until all that's less is a scary hollowness. Your mind fills with dark thoughts; you become convinced that your friends secretly hate you, you're worthless, and then there's no hope. I never got so low as to consider ending it all, but I understand how that can happen to some people. Depression simply hurts too much.
β
β
Tyler Hamilton
β
When we fully understand the brevity of life, its fleeting joys and unavoidable pains; when we accept the facts that all men and women are approaching an inevitable doom: the consciousness of it should make us more kindly and considerate of each other. This feeling should make men and women use their best efforts to help their fellow travelers on the road, to make the path brighter and easier as we journey on. It should bring a closer kinship, a better understanding, and a deeper sympathy for the wayfarers who must live a common life and die a common death.
β
β
Clarence Darrow (The Essential Words and Writings of Clarence Darrow (Modern Library Classics))
β
We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies - all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes. Most island universes are sufficiently like one another to Permit of inferential understanding or even of mutual empathy or "feeling into." Thus, remembering our own bereavements and humiliations, we can condole with others in analogous circumstances, can put ourselves (always, of course, in a slightly Pickwickian sense) in their places. But in certain cases communication between universes is incomplete or even nonexistent. The mind is its own place, and the Places inhabited by the insane and the exceptionally gifted are so different from the places where ordinary men and women live, that there is little or no common ground of memory to serve as a basis for understanding or fellow feeling. Words are uttered, but fail to enlighten. The things and events to which the symbols refer belong to mutually exclusive realms of experience.
β
β
Aldous Huxley (The Doors of Perception & Heaven and Hell)
β
That dead-eyed anhedonia is but a remora on the ventral flank of the true predator, the Great White Shark of pain. Authorities term this condition clinical depression or involutional depression or unipolar dysphoria. Instead of just an incapacity for feeling, a deadening of soul, the predator-grade depression Kate Gompert always feels as she Withdraws from secret marijuana is itself a feeling. It goes by many names β anguish, despair, torment, or q.v. Burton's melancholia or Yevtuschenko's more authoritative psychotic depression β but Kate Gompert, down in the trenches with the thing itself, knows it simply as It.
It is a level of psychic pain wholly incompatible with human life as we know it. It is a sense of radical and thoroughgoing evil not just as a feature but as the essence of conscious existence. It is a sense of poisoning that pervades the self at the self's most elementary levels. It is a nausea of the cells and soul. It is an unnumb intuition in which the world is fully rich and animate and un-map-like and also thoroughly painful and malignant and antagonistic to the self, which depressed self It billows on and coagulates around and wraps in Its black folds and absorbs into Itself, so that an almost mystical unity is achieved with a world every constituent of which means painful harm to the self. Its emotional character, the feeling Gompert describes It as, is probably mostly indescribable except as a sort of double bind in which any/all of the alternatives we associate with human agency β sitting or standing, doing or resting, speaking or keeping silent, living or dying β are not just unpleasant but literally horrible.
It is also lonely on a level that cannot be conveyed. There is no way Kate Gompert could ever even begin to make someone else understand what clinical depression feels like, not even another person who is herself clinically depressed, because a person in such a state is incapable of empathy with any other living thing. This anhedonic Inability To Identify is also an integral part of It. If a person in physical pain has a hard time attending to anything except that pain, a clinically depressed person cannot even perceive any other person or thing as independent of the universal pain that is digesting her cell by cell. Everything is part of the problem, and there is no solution. It is a hell for one.
The authoritative term psychotic depression makes Kate Gompert feel especially lonely. Specifically the psychotic part. Think of it this way. Two people are screaming in pain. One of them is being tortured with electric current. The other is not. The screamer who's being tortured with electric current is not psychotic: her screams are circumstantially appropriate. The screaming person who's not being tortured, however, is psychotic, since the outside parties making the diagnoses can see no electrodes or measurable amperage. One of the least pleasant things about being psychotically depressed on a ward full of psychotically depressed patients is coming to see that none of them is really psychotic, that their screams are entirely appropriate to certain circumstances part of whose special charm is that they are undetectable by any outside party. Thus the loneliness: it's a closed circuit: the current is both applied and received from within.
β
β
David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest)