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Do I ever feel lonely? All the live-long day! But it’s not what many people imagine loneliness to be. It’s more a feeling of homelessness, of unbelonging, a sense that this is not my land, that I’m a traveller, passing through, for ever restless. You can stop for a while, you can enjoy generous hospitality, but you are always a guest, often welcome, but never at home.
There is a loneliness that comes from being openly discriminated against, shut out, but there’s a subtler, creeping loneliness that comes from operating in environments that think they’ve got your back, that want to be inclusive and participatory, but that don’t see the thousand tiny ways in which the way they operate causes you problems every single day. This creeping version - the loneliness of a thousand cuts - stems, I guess, from the feeling that whatever you do, the world was set up by someone else to suit their needs, not yours. It’s not your world. You can live in it, but only if you’re prepared to accept their terms and conditions.
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