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Megan Meade’s Guide to the McGowan Boys
Entry One
Observation #1: When they’re beautiful, they know they’re beautiful.
Like the second-to-oldest one, Evan. He’s a senior. He is perfection personified. And he knows it. You can tell because he just sort of smiles knowingly when you gape at him. Not that I’ve been gaping at him. Not at all. Anyway, too soon yet to tell if it negatively affects his behavior. (Like Mike Blukowsi and his Astrodome-sized ego problem.)
Observation #2: They like skin.
Especially skin they think they’re not necessarily supposed to be seeing. Like the space between your belly tee and your waistband.
Observation #3: They have no problem bringing up events that would mortify me into shamed silence if the roles were reversed.
Like Evan totally brought up the wiffleball bat incident, when if that had happened to me, I’d be wishing on every one of my birthday cakes for everyone to forget it.
Observation #4: They gossip.
Can you believe it? I overheard Finn and Doug in the backyard talking about some girl named Dawn who blew off some guy named Simon for some other guy named Rick for like TWENTY MINUTES! They sounded like those old mole-hair ladies at Sal’s Milkshakes. ‘Member the ones who lectured us for a whole hour that day about how young women shouldn’t wear shorts? Wait, okay, I got sidetracked.
Observation #5: The older ones are so cute with the younger ones.
They were playing ultimate Frisbee when I first got here and Evan totally let Caleb and Ian tackle him. It was soooooo cute. **sigh.**
Observation #6: They’re cliquey.
I mean, eye-rolling, secret-handshake, don’t-talk-to-us-unless-you’ve-got-an-X-and-a-Y cliquey. Very schooled in the art of the freeze-out.
Observation #7: They have no sense of personal space.
I need a lock on my door. STAT.
Observation #8: Boys are icky.
Do not even get me started on the state of the bathroom. I’m thinking of calling in a haz-mat team. Seriously.
Observation #9: They have really freaky things going on down there.
Yeah, I don’t think I’m ready to elaborate on that one yet.
Observation #10: They know how to make enemies.
Big time.
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