Asgard Quotes

Myths are simply stories about truths we've forgotten.

Hearthstone Passes Out Even More than Jason Grace (Though I Have No Idea Who That Is)

I hate this plan,” I said. “Let’s do it.

My name is Magnus Chase. I’m sixteen years old. This is the story of how my life went downhill after I got myself killed.

even if we can’t change the big picture, our choices can alter the details. That’s how we rebel against destiny,

Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one leaves here alive," that's your cue.

It was an annoying name to have. People tended to spell in Mangus, rhymes with Angus. I always corrected them: No, it's Magnus, rhymes with swagness. At which point they would stare at me blankly.

Stop that, I told my brain. Also, the wedding is tomorrow, said my brain. Get out of my head. My brain refused to get out of my head. Inconsiderate brain.

I figured something out. You can't hold onto hate forever. It won't do a thing to the person you hate, but it'll poison you, sure enough.

Otis," I said. "Shhh," he said. "I'm incognito. Call me...Otis." "I'm not sure that's how incognito works, but okay." Otis, aka Otis climbed into the chair I'd reserved for Sam.

Could you do a glamour and turn into something smaller?" I asked it. "Preferably not a chain, since it's no longer the 1990s?" The sword didn't reply (duh), but I imagined it was humming at a more interrogative pitch, like, Such as what? "I dunno. Something pocket-size and innocuous. A pen, maybe?" The sword pulsed, almost like it was laughing. I imagined it saying, A pen sword. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

What kind of animal am I eating?' Sam wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. 'It's named Saehrimnir.' 'Okay, first of all, who names their dinner? I don't want to know my dinner's name. This potato--is this potato named Steve?' She rolled her eyes. 'No, stupid. That's Phil. The bread is Steve.

He likes to be noticed. He’s not exactly low-key.” “I get it,” I said. “Loki. Low-key.

At this point, most people would have thrown themselves down on the ground and given up hope. And by most people, I mean me.

Sometimes you lie to deceive people. Sometimes you lie because you need the lie to become the truth.

I gave the dwarves an arrogant look, like, Yeah, that’s right. I’ve got a talking disco sword and you don’t.

I am Hel,” she agreed. “Sometimes called Hela, though most mortals dare not speak my name at all. No jokes, Magnus Chase? Who the Hel are you? What the Hel do you want? You look Hela bad. I was expecting more bravado.

You’re a strange person.” “I prefer the term fabulously weird.

That awkward moment when you jump out a window because your friend jumped out a window, then you remember that your other friend can fly.

I smiled. "So this horse is your nephew, Sam?" She glared at me. "Let's not go there." "How did your dad father a horse?" Blitzen coughed. "Actually, Loki was Sleipnir's mother." "What--?" "Let's definitely not go there," Sam warned.

They’re not dead,” I told the goat. “They both have pulses.” “Oh.” The goat sighed. “Well, give them a few more hours and they’ll probably be dead.” “What is wrong with you?” “Everything,” said the goat.

The thing about fate, Magnus: even if we can't change the big picture, our choices can alter the details.That's how we rebel against destiny, how we make our mark. What will you choose to do?

Such is human memory... you forget the truth and believe what makes you feel better.

The last I saw of Percy and Annabeth, their Prius was turning the corner on First Avenue, Percy singing along with Led Zeppelin on the radio, Annabeth laughing at his bad voice. Alex crossed his arms. "If those two were any cuter together, they'd cause a nuclear explosion of cuteness and destroy the Eastern Seaboard.

Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to.” “Say what now?

Well, yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck. Or a larger metal duck.

In case you're wondering, Old York looks absolutely nothing like New York. It looks older. Magnus Chase, master of description. You're welcome.

Well, I live a double life. Tonight, I'll escort you to dinner. Then I have to rush home and finish my calculus homework.' 'You're not joking, are you?' 'I never joke about calculus homework.

I call it Andskoti, the Adversary. It is woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds—Wi-Fi with no lag, a politician’s sincerity, a printer that prints, healthy deep-fried food, and an interesting grammar lecture!

Nevermore shall men make slaves of others! Not in Asgard--not on Earth--not any place where the hammer of Thor can be swung--or where men of good faith hold freedom dear!

Somebody once told me that a hero's bravery has to be unplanned - a genuine response to a crisis. It has to come from the heart, without any thought of reward.

Annabeth smiled. “I don’t know the ocean very well, but my boyfriend does. I think it’s time you met Percy.

People said the towers looked like giant salt and pepper shakers, but I’d always thought they looked like Daleks from Doctor Who.

Hearth signed, 'is it talking? I don't read sword lips.'" 'what is he saying?' Jack asked. 'I don't read elf hands

Eat chocolate first, destroy the world later.

I’M PRETTY GOOD at multitasking, so I figured I could flee in terror and argue at the same time.

It's a good thing Jack was no longer in my hands, because I would've pulled a full-on Kylo Ren temper tantrum.

Should I get you a shovel, so you can dig that hole deeper?

Wrongly chosen, wrongly slain, A hero Valhalla cannot contain. Nine days hence the sun must go east, Ere Sword of Summer unbinds the beast.

Just like the good old days: marching together into the unknown, searching for missing magical weapons and risking painful death. I’d missed my buddies!

The thing about talking swords…it’s hard to tell when they’re kidding. They have no facial expressions. Or faces.

I turned to Alex. 'Hey, are you female today?' 'Hold on... There! Now I'm female.' My expression must have been priceless. Alex burst out laughing. 'I'm kidding. Yes, I'm female today. She and her.

One guy wore nothing but a Speedo. He’d painted himself blue and was armed only with a baseball bat. Across his chest were the words COME AT ME, BRO.

Where's the gold?" I demanded. "Don't make me unleash my sword's playlist.

Another yap shook the room. Broken branches tumbled to the floor. “Wh-what’s up there?” I asked, my knees shaking. I thought about the Norns’ prophecy, naming me a harbinger of evil. “Is it—the Wolf?” “Oh, much worse,” Blitzen said. “It’s the Squirrel.

You Keep Using the Word Help. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

you have to flaunt the weird, my friends.

The world will end. The big picture cannot be changed. But in the meantime, as Loki once said, we can choose to alter the details. That’s how we take control of our destiny.

I TOLD MY NEW FRIENDS I was allergic to dismemberment. They just laughed and herded me toward the combat arena. This is why I don’t like making new friends.

I think the hardest thing we can ever do is see someone for who they really are. Our parents. Our friends. Ourselves.

Blades before babes, you know what I’m saying?

Annabeth shook her head. "All these years sneaking around, and we could've just been ourselves?" "You should always do that." Alex strolled alongside, back in human form, though he still had a few flamingo feathers stuck in his hair. "And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends." "I'm going to quote you on that," Percy said. "You'd better.

Frey was the god of spring and summer! read the caption. He was the god of wealth, abundance, and fertility. His twin sister, Freya, the goddess of love, was very pretty! She had cats!

Not that my regularly scheduled life was so great, but it beat getting judged unworthy by twelve bearded guys named Erik.

You don't hear heroes say that a lot. Quick, Boy Wonder! To the pottery studio! But Alex's tone left no doubt it was a matter of life and death.

I don’t expend my energy trying to fight the change of seasons. I focus on making sure the days I have, and the season I oversee, are as joyful, rich, and plentiful as possible.

Let’s see, today is Thor’s Day the sixteenth.” “You mean Thursday?” “That’s what I said. The island will rise on the full moon six days from now, on the twenty-second, which is Woden’s Day.” “Wednesday?” I asked. “That’s what I said.

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS, It’s the Squirrel, you don’t ask questions.

Well, good news, " Blitzen said. "I found the bag. Bad news...I found the bag.

You know, Magnus…sometimes it’s best not to look as far as you’re able to look, or to listen to everything you’re able to hear.

How did you decide when someone was irretrievably lost—when they were so evil or toxic or just plain set in their ways that you had to face the fact they were never going to change? How long could you keep trying to save them, and when did you give up and grieve for them as though they were dead?

A little secret, Magnus. There is no good and evil. There’s only capable and incapable. I am capable.

My eyes were gray—more like my cousin Annabeth’s than my mom’s.

I think it's time you met Percy. - Annabeth

Just follow my lead,’ I said. ‘It’ll be fun.’ ‘Please,’ Sam begged, ‘don’t let those words be carved on my tombstone.

You're sure?' I asked. 'I mean, the Lord of the Sword is great. But you could also be, I don't know, the Slammer of the Hammer'.

She snorted. “Sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it? An atheist and a Muslim walk into a pagan afterlife.

One of these days, I would love to exit a world without being pursued by an angry mob.

Sam’s body language looked pretty stiff. I was too far away to hear, but I imagined her conversation with Alex was something like: Sam: Awkward. Alex: Awkward, awkward. Sam (nodding): Awkward, awkward, awkward.

Don't worry, kid." Blitz brought out the silken cord. "This rope can't be weakened. And Hearthstone's right. We might as well tie it to one another for safety." "That way if we fall," Sam said, "We'll fall together." "Sold," I said, trying to tamp down my anxiety. "I love dying with friends.

I didn’t learn a thing,” I promised Alex. “You are still a mystery wrapped in a question mark wrapped in flannel.

Look, some people prefer they,” Alex said. “They’re non-binary or mid-spectrum or whatever. If they want you to use they, then that’s what you should do. But for me, personally, I don’t want to use the same pronouns all the time, because that’s not me. I change a lot. That’s sort of the point. When I’m she, I’m she. When I’m he, I’m he. I’m not they. Get it?” “If I say no, will you hurt me?” “No.” “Then no, not really.” She shrugged. “You don’t have to get it. Just, you know, a little respect.” “For the girl with the very sharp wire? No problem.” She must have liked that answer. There was nothing confusing about the smile she gave me. It warmed the office about five degrees.

I mentally began composing a list of words that began with F: Frey. Father. False. Friend. Frick. Frack. And some others.

You can't hold on to hate forever. It won't do a thing to the person you hate, but it'll poison you, sure enough.

The only strange thing about Jackson was the tattoo on the inside of his forearm - a trident as dark as seared wood, with a single line underneath and the letters SPQR. He'd told me the letters stood for Sono Pazzi Quelli Romani - those Romans are crazy. I wasn't sure if he was kidding.

Sometimes you lie to deceive people. Sometimes you lie because you need the lie to become the truth

Chocolate must be savored, not rushed.

We all do, kid. People have destructive impulses. Some of us want to see the world in ruins just for the fun of it... even if we're ruined along with it.

Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go." "You just got here." "Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress." "You're making that up." "I'm not." "So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?

shouldn't he pick on more interesting heroes, like the children of Thor? At least their dad had a movie franchise. Frey didn't even have his own cats. He had to borrow his sister's.

You understand there's no such thing as a little death prophecy, right? - Sam

Magnus, could you glow a little closer, please? - Sam

Annabeth frowned. "Percy's sword is a she?" Jack laughed. "Well, duh." Percy studied Riptide, though I could've told him from experience it was almost impossible to tell a sword's gender by looking at it. "I don't know," he said. "Are you sure -?" "Percy," said Alex. "Respect the gender." "Okay, fine," he said. "It's just kinda strange that I never knew." "On the other hand," Annabeth said, "you didn't know the pen could write until last year." "That's low, Wise Girl.

I don't see that we have much choice," I said, "since we don't have anyone who can grow wings." "I will push you off this mountain," Sam warned. "All right," Blitzen decided, "let's try it. I mean the rune, not pushing Magnus off the mountain.

The most unreal thing about the bar was Taylor Swift’s ‘Blank Space’ blasting from the speakers. ‘Dwarves like human music?’ I asked Blitzen. ‘You mean humans like our music.’ ‘But …’ I had a sudden image of Taylor Swift’s mom and Freya having a girls’ night out in Nidavellir. ‘Never mind.

You couldn't swing a battleaxe in the Nine Worlds without hitting some kind of wolf: Fenris Wolf, Odin's wolves, Loki's wolves, werewolves, big bad wolfs and independently contracted small business wolves that would kill anybody for the right price.

Most of the time, Alex identified as female, but today he was definitely male. Sometimes I slipped up and used the wrong pronouns for him/ her, so Alex liked to return the favor by teasing me mercilessly. Because friendship.

I am a seeker of knowledge!’ Odin announced. ‘This has always been true. I hung from the World Tree for nine days and nights, racked with pain, in order to discover the secret of runes. I stood in line in a blizzard for six days to discover the sorcery of the smartphone.’ ‘What?’ I muttered. Blitzen coughed. ‘Just roll with it.

We need our goats!” I yelled. I waded through the crowd until I reached our chariot. I grabbed Otis’s face and pressed my forehead against his. “Testing,” I whispered. “Is this goat on? Thor, can you hear me?” “You have beautiful eyes,” Otis told me.

Back up,” I said. “What did Sam mean by again? You’ve lost your hammer before?” “Once,” Thor said. “Okay, twice. Three times if you count this time, which you shouldn’t, because I am not admitting that the hammer is missing.” “Right…” I said. “So how did you lose it?” “I don’t know!” Thor started to pace again, his long red hair sparking and popping. “It was just like…Poof! I tried retracing my steps. I tried the Find My Hammer app, but it doesn’t work!

Hearthstone snapped his fingers for attention. I'm glad too, he signed. He patted the bag of runes at his belt. Stupid cages were magic-proof. Blitzen was crying a lot. "I was not," Blitzen protested, signing along. "You were." I was not, Hearthstone said. You were. At that point, the ASL conversation deteriorated into the two of them poking each other in the chest.

Congratulations, man. What's her name?" "Estelle. It was my grandmother's name. Um, on my mom's side, obviously. Not Poseidon's." "I approve," Alex said. "Old-fashioned and elegant. Estelle Jackson." "Well, Estelle Blofis," Percy corrected. "My stepdad is Paul Blofis. Not much I can do about that surname, but my little sis is awesome. Five fingers. Five toes. Two eyes. She drools a lot." "Just like her brother," Annabeth said. Alex laughed.

So can I ask…?” I waved my hands vaguely. I didn’t have the words. “How it does work?” She smirked. “As long as you don’t ask me to represent every gender-fluid person for you, okay? I’m not an ambassador. I’m not a teacher or a poster child. I’m just”—she mimicked my hand-waving—“me. Trying to be me as best I can.

I’ll admit that I was staring. Suddenly my whole perspective had flipped inside out, like when you look at an inkblot picture and see just the black part. Then your brain inverts the image and you realize the white part makes an entirely different picture, even though nothing has changed. That was Alex Fierro, except in pink and green. A second ago, he had been very obviously a boy to me. Now she was very obviously a girl.

Otis and his brother, Marvin, pulled the god’s chariot. They also provided Thor with a never-ending supply of goat meat. Each night, Thor killed and ate them for dinner. Each morning, Thor resurrected them. This is why you should go to college, kids—so when you grow up you do not have to take a job as a magical goat.

1. Good Morning! You’re Going to Die 2. The Man with the Metal Bra 3. Don’t Accept Rides from Strange Relatives 4. Seriously, the Dude Cannot Drive 5. I’ve Always Wanted to Destroy a Bridge 6. Make Way for Ducklings, or They Will Smack You Upside the Head 7. You Look Great Without a Nose, Really 8. Mind the Gap, and Also the Hairy Guy with the Ax 9. You Totally Want the Minibar Key 10.

I love you," Amir told her. Samirah stumbled backwards like she'd been hit in the face with a giant eagle egg. Alex propped her up. "I ... yes," Sam squeaked. "Also. Too." Amir nodded. He turned and got into his car. A moment later, his tail-lights disappeared down Flagship Way. Samirah smacked her own forehead. "Also? Too? I am such an idiot." Alex patted her arm. "I thought you were quite eloquent. Come on sister. Your neon-yellow warship awaits.

He turned to leave, then hesitated. "One more thing." He walked up to me. "I've also been thinking about your declaration of undying love or whatever." "I didn't - it wasn't -" He clamped his hands on the sides of my gooey face and kissed me. I had to wonder: was it possible to dissolve into chocolate on a molecular level and melt into a puddle on the carpet? Because that's how I felt. I'm pretty sure Valhalla had to resurrect me several times during the course of that kiss. Otherwise, I don't know how I was still in one piece when Alex finally pulled away. He studied me critically, his brown and amber eyes taking me in. He had a chocolate moustache and goatee now, and chocolate down the front of his sweater vest. I'll be honest. A small part of my brain thought, Alex is male right now. I have just been kissed by a dude. How do I feel about that? The rest of my brain answered: I have just been kissed by Alex Fierro. I am absolutely great with that. In fact, I might have done something typically embarrassing and stupid, like making the aforementioned declaration of undying love, but Alex spared me. "Eh." He shrugged. "I'll keep thinking about it. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, definitely take that shower." He left, whistling a tune that might have been a Frank Sinatra song from the elevator, "Fly Me to the Moon".

But I suppose if you're friends of Magnus's ..." He went completely still. His runes faded. Then he leaped out of my hand and flew towards Annabeth, his blade twitching as if he was stiffing the air. "Where is she? Where are you hiding the babe?" Annabeth backed towards the rail. "Whoa, there, sword. Personal space?" "Jack, behave," Alex said. "What are you doing?" "She's around here somewhere," Jack insisted. He flew to Percy. "Aha! What's in your pocket, sea boy?" "Excuse me?" Percy looked a bit nervous about the magical sword hovering at his waistline. Alex lowered his Ray-Bans. "Okay, now I'm curious. What do you have in your pocket, Percy? Enquiring swords want to know." Percy pulled a plain-looking ballpoint pen from his jeans. "You mean this?" "BAM!" Jack said. "Who is this vision of loveliness?" "Jack," I said. "It's a pen." "No, it's not! Show me! Show me!" "Uh ... sure." Percy uncapped the pen. Immediately it transformed into a three-foot-long sword with a leaf-shaped blade of glowing bronze.. Compared to Jack, the weapon looked delicate, almost petite, but from the way Percy wielded it I had no doubt he'd be able to hold his own on the battlefields of Valhalla with that thing. Jack turned his point towards me, his runes flashing burgundy. "See Magnus? I told you it wasn't stupid to carry a sword disguised as a pen!" "Jack, I never said that!" I protested. "You did.

Blitz and Hearth were almost at the shore when Alex stopped abruptly. I didn't have any energy left either, but I thought I should try to sound encouraging. "We - we have to k-keep going." I looked over. We were nose-to-nose under the blankets. Her eyes glinted, amber and brown. Her scarf had dipped below her chin. Her breath was like limes. Then, before I even knew what was happening, she kissed me. She could have bitten off my mouth and I would have been less surprised. Her lips were cracked and rough from the cold. Her nose fitted perfectly next to mine. Our faces aligned, our breath mixed. Then she pulled away. "I wasn't going to die without doing that," she said. The world of primordial ice must not have frozen me completely, because my chest burned like a coal furnace. "Well?" She frowned. "Stop gaping and let's move." We trudged towards the shore. My mind wasn't working properly. I wondered if Alex had kissed me just to inspire me to keep going, or to distract me from our imminent deaths. It didn't seem possible she'd actually wanted to kiss me. Whatever the case, that kiss was the only reason I made it to shore.