“
What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should've been named ADHD poster child of the year.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #1))
“
It is growing up different. It is extreme hypersensitivity. It is a bottomless pit of feeling you're failing, but three days later, you feel you can do anything, only to end the week where you began. It is not learning from your mistakes. It is distrusting people because you have been hurt enough. It is moments of knowing your pain is self inflicted, followed by blaming the world. It is wanting to listen, but you just can’t anymore because your life has been to full of people that have judged you. It is fighting to be right; so for once in your life someone will respect and hear you for a change. It is a tiring life of endless games with people, in order to seek stimulus. It is a hyper focus, so intense about what bothers you, that you can’t pay attention to anything else, for very long. It is a never-ending routine of forgetting things. It is a boredom and lack of contentment that keeps you running into the arms of anyone that has enough patience to stick around. It wears you out. It wears everyone out. It makes you question God’s plan. You misinterpret everything, and you allow your creative mind to fill the gaps with the same old chains that bind you. It narrows your vision of who you let into your life. It is speaking and acting without thinking. It is disconnecting from the ones you love because your mind has taken you back to what you can’t let go of. It is risk taking, thrill seeking and moodiness that never ends. You hang your hope on “signs” and abandon reason for remedy. It is devotion to the gifts and talents you have been given, that provide temporary relief. It is the latching onto the acceptance of others---like a scared child abandoned on a sidewalk. It is a drive that has no end, and without “focus” it takes you nowhere. It is the deepest anger when someone you love hurts you, and the greatest love when they don't. It is beauty when it has purpose. It is agony when it doesn’t. It is called Attention Deficit Disorder.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Forgive your child and yourself nightly. You didn't ask to live with the effects of ADHD any more than did your child.
”
”
Martin L. Kutscher (ADHD - Living without Brakes)
“
This is not a contest with your child. The winner is not the one with more points. The winner is the one whose child still loves them when they graduate from high school.
”
”
Martin L. Kutscher (ADHD - Living without Brakes)
“
The future of my child is unknown but I have loved him, supported him, and taught him right from wrong. I will continue to do so...
”
”
Brenda Lochinger
“
Love every child without condition, listen with an open heart, get to know who they are, what they love, and follow more often than you lead.
”
”
Adele Devine (Flying Starts for Unique Children: Top Tips for Supporting Children with SEN or Autism When They Start School)
“
As a child she'd been told she had ADD, or ADHD, or some other acronym, but her school librarian had simply clicked her tongue and told her she was imaginative and creative and couldn't be expected to wait for everyone else to catch up.
”
”
Abbi Waxman (The Bookish Life of Nina Hill)
“
808. Do not punish forgetfulness. ADHD children cannot hold rules, routines, and tasks in their minds. They forget everyday rules and tasks, even though they have been doing them for months or years. Every day is a new day in their minds, and they do not know what to do unless you tell them.
”
”
Susan Ashley (1000 Best Tips for ADHD: Expert Answers and Bright Advice to Help You and Your Child)
“
Someone told me that their child was diagnosed with ADHD. They wanted to know how I handle the day to day. It's hard on me but it's harder on them. I cry sometimes which means they probably do to. I worry that the world will never give them the chance they deserve but I am. I get frustrated when they are treated badly but they feel worse. I keep trying, I keep learning, and I keep telling their story. Just love your child and don't give up. They need you to be the person that understands.
”
”
Brenda Lochinger
“
Given their automatic tuning out, ADD children forever find themselves being told to “pay attention”—a demand that completely misunderstands both the nature of the child and the nature of attention. The obvious monetary connotation of “pay” is that attention is something the child owes the adult, that the child’s attention belongs to the adult by right. The phrase takes for granted that being attentive is always a consciously chosen act, subject to one’s will. Both of these assumptions are faulty.
”
”
Gabor Maté (Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder)
“
The longer I have been on the raw food path, the more I tend to come full circle and return to where my original ideas and inspiration of wanting to eat raw food come from - and that’s natural hygiene and its principles.
”
”
Kytka Hilmar-Jezek (RAW FOOD FOR CHILDREN: Protect Your Child from Cancer, Hyperactivity, Autism, Diabetes, Allergies, Behavioral Problems, Obesity, ADHD & More)
“
If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values, we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place.
”
”
Thom Hartmann (The Edison Gene: ADHD and the Gift of the Hunter Child)
“
After a woman understands that she does have something called AD/HD and has had it for a long time, she begins to look back and see how deeply it has affected every area of her life. At this point she will often move into the next stage—anger. She often feels anger at lost opportunities, looking back at the paths that she didn’t take. She focuses on the point at which things started to go off course and begins to feel anger at a system that let her down as a child.
”
”
Sari Solden (Women With Attention Deficit Disorder: Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life)
“
Diagnoses —such as ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, an autism spectrum disorder, reactive attachment disorder, the newly coined disruptive mood regulation disorder, or any other disorder—can be helpful in some ways. They “validate” that there’s something different about your kid, for example. But they can also be counterproductive in that they can cause caregivers to focus more on a child’s challenging behaviors rather than on the lagging skills and unsolved problems giving rise to those behaviors. Also, diagnoses suggest that the problem resides within the child and that it’s the child who needs to be fixed. The reality is that it takes two to tango. Let there be no doubt, there’s something different about your child. But you are part of the mix as well. How you understand and respond to the hand you’ve been dealt is essential to helping your child.
”
”
Ross W. Greene (The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children)
“
Many parents have experienced this with their kids. They get referred for testing, and the first psychologist says the child has ADD. But then another round of tests with the next shrink points to PDD-NOS. More tests and more doctors take us back to ADHD, then Asperger’s. They bounce from one diagnosis to another, never really knowing what to do or where they stand. In some cases, kids are given medications, and a medicine that’s good for one thing can be bad for another.
”
”
John Elder Robison (Be Different: Adventures of a Free-Range Aspergian with Practical Advice for Aspergians, Misfits, Families & Teachers)
“
Behind every successful child with ADHD is a tired parent.
”
”
Jim Forgan
“
What is not developing properly in your child is the capacity to shift from focusing on the here and now to focusing on what is likely to come next in life and the future more generally.
”
”
Russell A. Barkley (Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents)
“
If you are being parented, it means that ADHD symptoms are getting in the way of your relationship, whether you are aware of it or not. To get out of parent–child dynamics, consider these suggestions: Talk with your doctor about improving treatment
”
”
Melissa Orlov (The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps)
“
Children with ADHD can do so many things wrong that parents could confront them on their transgressions throughout much of the day. But is this the kind of relationship you want with your child? Parents of children with ADHD must develop a sense of priorities.
”
”
Russel A. Barkley (Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents)
“
A professor of creative studies at the University of Georgia, Bonnie Cramond, compared the traits of creative people with the warning signs of ADHD and found that, except for the terms used (positive for creative people, negative for people diagnosed as ADHD), they were practically identical.
”
”
Thomas Armstrong (The Myth of the ADHD Child: 101 Ways to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Attention Span Without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion)
“
The hypervigilance of a boy living with domestic violence scanning his home for any sign of threat is very adaptive; in a classroom, this can prevent the child from paying attention to the teacher and result in the child being labeled with attention deficit disorder (ADHD), which is maladaptive.
”
”
Bruce D. Perry (What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing)
“
I'm over it. All the little costs of having ADHD that add up in the long run. Lost customers. Overdue bills. Replacement phone chargers. Time spent looking for things. The way it makes me feel, like a child. As if everyone else is a real adult and I'm just pretending. The frustration that I can't do the simple, everyday things that most people can. Like laundry, and making phone calls, and remembering to take out something from the freezer for dinner. It's the missed deadlines for opportunities I could've had. The broken relationships. How people think I'm lazy and selfish. How they think I don't care. How I think I'm lazy and selfish, even though I know I care.
”
”
Sarah Grunder Ruiz (Last Call at the Local (Love, Lists & Fancy Ships, #3))
“
Some gifted people have all five and some less. Every gifted person tends to lead with one. As I read this list for the first time I was struck by the similarities between Dabrowski’s overexcitabilities and the traits of Sensitive Intuitives. Read the list for yourself and see what you identify with: Psychomotor This manifests as a strong pull toward movement. People with this overexcitability tend to talk rapidly and/or move nervously when they become interested or passionate about something. They have a lot of physical energy and may run their hands through their hair, snap their fingers, pace back and forth, or display other signs of physical agitation when concentrating or thinking something out. They come across as physically intense and can move in an impatient, jerky manner when excited. Other people might find them overwhelming and they’re routinely diagnosed as ADHD. Sensual This overexcitability comes in the form of an extreme sensitivity to sounds, smells, bright lights, textures and temperature. Perfume and scented soaps and lotions are bothersome to people with this overexcitability, and they might also have aversive reactions to strong food smells and cleaning products. For me personally, if I’m watching a movie in which a strobe light effect is used, I’m done. I have to shut my eyes or I’ll come down with a headache after only a few seconds. Loud, jarring or intrusive sounds also short circuit my wiring. Intellectual This is an incessant thirst for knowledge. People with this overexcitability can’t ever learn enough. They zoom in on a few topics of interest and drink up every bit of information on those topics they can find. Their only real goal is learning for learning’s sake. They’re not trying to learn something to make money or get any other external reward. They just happened to have discovered the history of the Ming Dynasty or Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and now it’s all they can think about. People with this overexcitability have intellectual interests that are passionate and wide-ranging and they study many areas simultaneously. Imaginative INFJ and INFP writers, this is you. This is ALL you. Making up stories, creating imaginary friends, believing in Santa Claus way past the ordinary age, becoming attached to fairies, elves, monsters and unicorns, these are the trademarks of the gifted child with imaginative overexcitability. These individuals appear dreamy, scattered, lost in their own worlds, and constantly have their heads in the clouds. They also routinely blend fiction with reality. They are practically the definition of the Sensitive Intuitive writer at work. Emotional Gifted individuals with emotional overexcitability are highly empathetic (and empathic, I might add), compassionate, and can become deeply attached to people, animals, and even inanimate objects, in a short period of time. They also have intense emotional reactions to things and might not be able to stomach horror movies or violence on the evening news. They have most likely been told throughout their life that they’re “too sensitive” or that they’re “overreacting” when in truth, they are expressing exactly how they feel to the most accurate degree.
”
”
Lauren Sapala (The Infj Writer: Cracking the Creative Genius of the World's Rarest Type)
“
If you are married to a person who has (or might have) ADHD, you might feel ignored and lonely in your relationship. Your spouse never seems to follow up on what he agrees to do—so much so that you may feel as if you really have another child in your home instead of an adult. You feel you’re forced to remind him all the time to do things. You nag, and you’ve started to dislike the person you’ve become. The two of you either fight often or have virtually nothing to say to each other that either of you finds meaningful. You are frustrated that your spouse seems to be able to focus intently on things that interest him, but never on you. Perhaps worst of all, you feel intense stress from not knowing whether you can rely on him and feeling saddled with almost all of the responsibilities of the household, while your spouse gets to “have all the fun.
”
”
Melissa Orlov (The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps)
“
Tip: When your child comes home from school, realize that it may be no different than someone coming home from a hard day at work. No matter how anxious you are to hear about how her test went or know how much homework she has, she may have no interest in rehashing her day—especially if it was stressful or talking about it would create more stress. Offer a snack, perhaps some space, or some light conversation about your own day. Do what you can to help your child refuel.
”
”
Cindy Goldrich (8 Keys to Parenting Children with ADHD)
“
It’s worth noting that changing behavior through ABA is often more than enough. But sometimes you want to go deeper, to help a child—or anyone else—understand cognitively and emotionally where they are and who they are in social situations, recognize their options, and decide for themselves what they want to do. Once they learn how to decide for themselves what they want to do, rather than put on reflexive behaviors they’ve been conditioned to show, real growth ensues. ABA is surface; social learning is deep. ABA is more or less robotic; social learning helps you understand social situations and respond according to your own desires and values. ABA is more mechanical; social learning is more supple and human. By coaching children in how to understand social situations and how to develop different ways of handling them, you can teach them not only how to do it but also enjoy doing so that the interaction is not just a matter of going through the motions.
”
”
Edward M. Hallowell (ADHD 2.0 : New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction—From Childhood Through Adulthood)
“
A simple way to start is to sit down with your child, or, if you’re an adult, sit down with your spouse or some other adult (it’s best to do this with another person, as the interaction makes for more creative, spontaneous, playful, and thorough answers), and respond to the following questions. Have the person asking the questions write down your answers, because this is an important document to save: What three or four things are you best at doing? What three or four things do you like doing the most? What three or four activities or achievements have brought you the most praise in your life? What are your three or four most cherished goals? What three or four things would you most like to get better at? What do others praise you for but you take for granted? What, if anything, is easy for you but hard for others? What do you spend a lot of time doing that you are really bad at? What could your teacher or supervisor do so that your time could be spent more productively? If you weren’t afraid of getting in trouble, what would you tell your teacher or supervisor that he or she doesn’t understand about you?
”
”
Edward M. Hallowell (ADHD 2.0 : New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction—From Childhood Through Adulthood)
“
demigod, chances are you’re making your way to camp with your satyr guide. Or maybe you’ve already arrived and are reading this with the hope that it’ll calm your nerves. I’d say there’s a fifty–fifty chance of that happening. But I’m getting off topic. (I do that. I have ADHD. Bet you know what that’s like.) What I’m supposed to do is explain the story behind this book. A few months ago, Chiron – he’s the immortal centaur who’s also our camp activities director – was called away to rescue two unclaimed demigods and their satyr guide. (The satyr had got himself into a sticky situation. It took him days to get his fur clean.) Anyway, Argus, our resident security guard and part-time chauffeur, drove Chiron on this mission because, well, can you imagine a centaur driving an SUV? (You can? Hmm. Maybe you’re a child of Hypnos and saw it in a dream.) Our camp director, Mr D (aka Dionysus, the god of wine), was MIA, so that left us demigods on our own. ‘Don’t destroy Half-Blood while we’re gone,’ was Chiron’s parting instruction.
”
”
Rick Riordan (Camp Half-Blood Confidential (The Trials of Apollo))
“
If your ADHD wife/husband/child continues to ignore the hook, place a large, attractive rattan basket next to a low table. She can dump her backpack and coat in this basket almost as easily as she can set them on the floor.
”
”
Susan C. Pinsky (Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, 2nd Edition-Revised and Updated: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized)
“
Among the researchers’ findings is evidence that many children with SPD differ from children with ADHD in their responses to unexpected sensations, such as light touches, loud noises, flickering lights, strong smells, and being tilted backward in a chair. Children with ADHD tend to alert to these novel sensations and then, like most people, habituate—i.e., become easily accustomed—to them. Life goes on. Some children with SPD, however, may not alert to these everyday sensations. Life does not affect them much. Other children with SPD may be continually on alert and may not become accustomed to the sensations at all. Life affects them too much.
”
”
Carol Stock Kranowitz (The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder)
“
Outside the research laboratory, parents and teachers may notice other differences between SPD and ADHD. For instance, many children with SPD prefer the “same-old, same-old” in a familiar and predictable environment, while children with ADHD prefer novelty and diversion. Many children with SPD have poor motor coordination, while children with ADHD often shine in sports. Many children with SPD have adequate impulse control, unless bothered by sensations, while children with ADHD often have poor impulse control. Another difference is that medicine may help the child with ADHD, but medicine will not solve the problem of SPD. Therapy focusing on sensory integration and a sensory diet of purposeful activities help the child with SPD.
”
”
Carol Stock Kranowitz (The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder)
“
Tips to Help an ADHD Child Organize ▪ Adjust your expectations for perfect order. ▪ Stay with your child through the room-cleaning process to lend him focus. ▪ Reduce the number of materials in his room so that it is simple and easy to clean. ▪ Make sure his storage systems are easy to access (low-hanging shelves and hooks). ▪ Limit the scope of his chore. ▪ Praise him lavishly when he completes it.
”
”
Susan C. Pinsky (Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, 2nd Edition-Revised and Updated: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized)
“
Do place a lidless laundry basket–style hamper in a prominent location in your child’s bedroom—no tucking it into a closet. I always recommend a tall laundry basket for this purpose; it makes for an easy target when tossing in dirty clothes.
”
”
Susan C. Pinsky (Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, 2nd Edition-Revised and Updated: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized)
“
Babies who are born via Cesarean section have a higher risk of developing ADHD, but why? Understanding the links in the chain give credence to the importance of healthy gut bacteria to sustain intestinal health and overall wellness. When a baby passes through the birth canal naturally, billions of healthy bacteria wash over the child, thereby inoculating the newborn with appropriate probiotics whose pro-health effects remain for life. If a child is born via C-section, however, he or she misses out on this shower of sorts, and this sets the stage for bowel inflammation and, therefore, an increased risk of sensitivity to gluten and ADHD later in life.12
”
”
David Perlmutter (Grain Brain: The Surprising Truth about Wheat, Carbs, and Sugar--Your Brain's Silent Killers)
“
Adults don’t have the same growth momentum that children do to help enable and amplify progress. In adults, change comes from hard work, not getting a year older. This means that an ADHD spouse seems more prone to get “stuck” than a child does, and do things over and over again, which is just the opposite of what you would expect:
”
”
Melissa Orlov (The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps)
“
If you are married to a person who has (or might have) ADHD, you might feel ignored and lonely in your relationship. Your spouse never seems to follow up on what he agrees to do—so much so that you may feel as if you really have another child in your home instead of an adult. You feel you’re forced to remind him all the time to do things. You nag,
”
”
Melissa Orlov (The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps)
“
The prescribing of stimulants to ADHD youth began to take off in the 1980s, and today, thirty years later, studies have failed to show that this treatment helps children grow up and thrive. In a 2012 op-ed published in the New York Times, Alan Sroufe, a professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development, told of this bottom-line finding: “To date, no study has found any long-term benefit of attention-deficit medication on academic performance, peer relationships, or behavior problems, the very things we want to improve…. The drugs can also have serious side effects, including stunting growth.
”
”
Robert Whitaker (Anatomy of an Epidemic: Magic Bullets, Psychiatric Drugs, and the Astonishing Rise of Mental Illness in America)
“
Imagine this: summer leaves are blanketing the park under a cloudless sky and a gentle breeze is lifting along the shouts and laughter of children. Some children are running around tirelessly while others are just hanging around talking or engaged in some activity that only other children fully understand. Amidst this typical scenario, one can almost always find a parent chasing a child who is seemingly full of boundless energy, as he races around, going up and down the slide over and over, climbing the monkey bars, and clowning around with almost everyone despite the repeated warnings and reminders from the exhausted parent. But the child appears to not even hear the warnings and reminders, or chooses to ignore them. Eventually, the poor parent cannot keep up anymore, as she has run around until she has gotten so tired, that she feels like smacking her head against a tree or brick wall.
”
”
Wells Emery (ADHD in Children - An Essential Guide for Parents)
“
Consider hiring professional help. This is a very difficult dynamic to change. A professional ADHD coach or therapist can help you identify parent–child interactions and provide ideas for new ways to interact. Make sure the person has experience with ADHD!
”
”
Melissa Orlov (The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps)
“
Who are we, the people who have ADHD? We are the problem kid who drives his parents crazy by being totally disorganized, unable to follow through on anything, incapable of cleaning up a room, or washing dishes, or performing just about any assigned task; the one who is forever interrupting, making excuses for work not done, and generally functioning far below potential in most areas. We are the kid who gets daily lectures on how we’re squandering our talent, wasting the golden opportunity that our innate ability gives us to do well, and failing to make good use of all that our parents have provided. We are also sometimes the talented executive who keeps falling short due to missed deadlines, forgotten obligations, social faux pas, and blown opportunities. Too often we are the addicts, the misfits, the unemployed, and the criminals who are just one diagnosis and treatment plan away from turning it all around. We are the people Marlon Brando spoke for in the classic 1954 film On the Waterfront when he said, “I coulda been a contender.” So many of us coulda been contenders, and shoulda been for sure. But then, we can also make good. Can we ever! We are the seemingly tuned-out meeting participant who comes out of nowhere to provide the fresh idea that saves the day. Frequently, we are the “underachieving” child whose talent blooms with the right kind of help and finds incredible success after a checkered educational record. We are the contenders and the winners. We are also imaginative and dynamic teachers, preachers, circus clowns, and stand-up comics, Navy SEALs or Army Rangers, inventors, tinkerers, and trend setters. Among us there are self-made millionaires and billionaires; Pulitzer and Nobel prize winners; Academy, Tony, Emmy, and Grammy award winners; topflight trial attorneys, brain surgeons, traders on the commodities exchange, and investment bankers. And we are often entrepreneurs. We are entrepreneurs ourselves, and the great majority of the adult patients we see for ADHD are or aspire to be entrepreneurs too. The owner and operator of an entrepreneurial support company called Strategic Coach, a man named Dan Sullivan (who also has ADHD!), estimates that at least 50 percent of his clients have ADHD as well.
”
”
Edward M. Hallowell (ADHD 2.0 : New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction—From Childhood Through Adulthood)
“
While I was winning at swimming, I wanted to keep practicing; I wanted to keep winning. I loved the feeling I had when I won races. Once I transitioned to the next age group and began losing, my reward center started pushing me in other directions. I had the choice of either becoming a better swimmer—which seemed impossible to me—or quitting and finding pleasure in a different activity. Perceiving no reward in swimming, quitting was the natural decision.
”
”
Jim Poole (Flipping ADHD on Its Head: How to Turn Your Child's "Disability" into Their Greatest Strength)
“
Why is daily life often harder for kids with ADHD? They seem to struggle academically, socially, and psychologically. They forget things, can’t slow down, find it hard to focus, space out regularly. They are disorganized; they feel overwhelmed; they can’t control their emotions; they miss the nuances of peer interactions. While they like their creativity, their “out of the box” thinking, and their energy, they are usually ashamed of their shortcomings, want to avoid dealing with them, and often feel powerless to change them.
”
”
Sharon Saline (What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life)
“
Women are expected to be nurturing, to be emotionally available at any time, and to provide the appropriate level of discipline for each child’s developmental needs, all while doing much of the shopping, cooking, cleaning and childcare.
”
”
Joanne Steer (Understanding ADHD in Girls and Women)
“
[Dr Sami Timimi] told me that when people hear a child has been diagnosed with ADHD, they often imagine this is like a diagnosis of, say, pneumonia - that a doctor has identified an underlying pathogen or illness, and is now going to prescribe something that can deal with that physical problem. But with ADHD, there are no physical tests a doctor can carry out. All she can do is talk to the child, and people who know the child, and see if the kid's behaviour matches a checklist drawn up by psychiatrists. That's it. He says: 'ADHD is not a diagnosis. It's not a diagnosis. It's just a description of certain behaviours that sometimes occur together. That's all it is.
”
”
Johann Hari (Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention— and How to Think Deeply Again)
“
EXCESSIVE TALKING and TALKING OVER PEOPLE This one makes us very unpopular! While Inattentive adhd people are often quiet and withdrawn, your Combineds and Hyperactives rarely shut up! Our brains are going full speed and we can’t get the info out of our mouths quick enough. adhd people speak over others and interrupt primarily because if they don’t say their thought immediately, it’ll be forgotten. Our short-term memory is so poor, we can’t hold a thought long enough for you to finish speaking.
”
”
Sarah Templeton (How NOT to Murder your ADHD Kid: Instead learn how to be your child's own ADHD coach!)
“
LABELS IN CLOTHES Ask the next person you meet to show you the back of their jumper. If the label’s been snipped, or torn off in anger, odds are that’s an adhd person who cannot
”
”
Sarah Templeton (How NOT to Murder your ADHD Kid: Instead learn how to be your child's own ADHD coach!)
“
Indeed, a study looking into families with multiple children where one or more had ODD or ADHD found that non-ODD/ADHD siblings felt unprotected by their parents and became resentful of the degree of control their ADHD/ODD sibling had on the family. These children can also become passive since they do not want to be a bother to their parents as they understand the time and attention their sibling requires.
”
”
Eunice Churchill (Raising an Oppositional Child with ADHD: Successful Keys for an Explosive Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD)
“
making specific changes in your
child’s bedroom can improve cleanliness, encourage good
study habits, boost your relationship, spark creativity, help
concentration, promote calmness, and improve mental
health.
”
”
Annie Eklöv (Help! My Room Exploded: How to Simplify Your Home to Reduce ADHD Symptoms)
“
The best way to help a child with ADHD (or any
child) is to maintain a loving relationship with them.
No matter how you fix external issues (like a messy room),
your success will be limited if you ignore the importance of
your relationship
”
”
Annie Eklöv (Help! My Room Exploded: How to Simplify Your Home to Reduce ADHD Symptoms)
“
Your five-year-old son wanders around his kindergarten classroom distracting other kids. The teacher complains: he can’t sit through her scintillating lessons on the two sounds made by the letter e. When the teacher invites all the kids to sit with her on the rug for a song, he stares out the window, watching a squirrel dance along a branch. She’d like you to take him to be evaluated. And so you do. It’s a good school, and you want the teacher and the administration to like you. You take him to a pediatrician, who tells you it sounds like ADHD. You feel relief. At least you finally know what’s wrong. Commence the interventions, which will transform your son into the attentive student the teacher wants him to be. But obtaining a diagnosis for your kid is not a neutral act. It’s not nothing for a kid to grow up believing there’s something wrong with his brain. Even mental health professionals are more likely to interpret ordinary patient behavior as pathological if they are briefed on the patient’s diagnosis.[15] “A diagnosis is saying that a person does not only have a problem, but is sick,” Dr. Linden said. “One of the side effects that we see is that people learn how difficult their situation is. They didn’t think that before. It’s demoralization.” Nor does our noble societal quest to destigmatize mental illness inoculate an adolescent against the determinism that befalls him—the awareness of a limitation—once the diagnosis is made. Even if Mom has dressed it in happy talk, he gets the gist. He’s been pronounced learning disabled by an occupational therapist and neurodivergent by a neuropsychologist. He no longer has the option to stop being lazy. His sense of efficacy, diminished. A doctor’s official pronouncement means he cannot improve his circumstances on his own. Only science can fix him.[16] Identifying a significant problem is often the right thing to do. Friends who suffered with dyslexia for years have told me that discovering the name for their problem (and the corollary: that no, they weren’t stupid) delivered cascading relief. But I’ve also talked to parents who went diagnosis shopping—in one case, for a perfectly normal preschooler who wouldn’t listen to his mother. Sometimes, the boy would lash out or hit her. It took him forever to put on his shoes. Several neuropsychologists conducted evaluations and decided he was “within normal range.” But the parents kept searching, believing there must be some name for the child’s recalcitrance. They never suspected that, by purchasing a diagnosis, they might also be saddling their son with a new, negative understanding of himself. Bad
”
”
Abigail Shrier (Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up)
“
harsh, or inconsistent with their child’s treatment may increase their risk of developing ADHD. Studies have shown that parenting stress can increase the risk of being diagnosed with ADHD. Higher stress levels in childhood can lead to hyperactivity and attention problems, common symptoms among children with ADHD. Bad parenting behavior could also cause childhood emotional trauma, playing a role in the long-term development of ADHD symptoms (Koppert, 2020).
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Restlessness A child with ADHD may be restless, fidgety, and have trouble sitting still.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Combined Type The difference between the inattentive and the hyperactive/impulsive type of ADHD in children is poorly understood. A child with a combination of the two may be particularly distracting and challenging to manage. This is the most common type, with symptoms that combine the other two. People with combined-type ADHD may have inattentive symptoms early in the day but become hyperactive and impulsive as the day continues and may be restless sleepers at night. Also, people with combined-type ADHD may be fidgety during the day but become very calm at night when relaxed and ready to go to bed.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Many parents believe there is no reason for ADHD and they can control their child’s behavior by imposing rules and discipline to compensate for symptoms of ADHD and eventually outgrow the symptoms. Unfortunately, this is not true. The symptoms can be managed or controlled, but you can’t outgrow ADHD.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Living with ADHD is especially difficult for children facing social and emotional challenges. Society can often make them feel like they’re a part of the “loser” class of students, making it harder to keep up with their peers. They may have difficulty with relationships, making friends, dealing with stress, and getting along with others. A child with ADHD might be more likely to get teased or bullied.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Her behavioral issues might sound typical of any school-aged child. ADHD is a neurobiological disorder that causes trouble concentrating, focusing, and completing work. It is characterized by hyperactivity, inattention, and impulsivity. Rather than just being lazy or slacking, individuals with ADHD have difficulty learning new things because they are constantly distracted. They often feel overwhelmed or under-stimulated, leading to boredom and disinterest in schoolwork or other activities.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Even if a child has been diagnosed with ADHD at school, they need to realize that the symptoms are lifelong, and they should deal with the symptoms for the rest of their lives.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
The “dumb kid myth” is the belief that a child with ADHD has an IQ lower than other children and will never be able to think or learn well. The reality is that no scientific research has ever shown that the IQ of children with ADHD is lower than other children, including those without any learning disability or disorder. Children who have ADHD have the same intellectual potential as any other child. They
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
For example, diets rich in omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, and essential vitamins and minerals have shown potential for alleviation. Conversely, diets high in refined sugars, artificial additives, and processed foods may exacerbate inattention and excessive, unrestrained movement. Consider
”
”
Maya Blackwood (Nutrition for ADHD Kids: Adjusting Your Child's Diet to Enhance Focus, Self-Regulate, and Decrease Hyperactivity)
“
Dr. Alice Parnes of the University of Michigan, one of the founding figures in ADHD diagnosis and treatment, says, “ADHD is a disorder in which the attentional process is seriously disrupted.” She explains, “the ADHD child really can’t pay attention. They are not bad at listening and following directions; they can’t concentrate.” (Reed, 2019)
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
Children with ADHD have much more potential for academic success than many parents give them credit for. These children are usually very capable of achieving the same educational goals as their peers once their education, organization, and study skills have been adequately developed. ADHD does not affect a child’s performance in school; a lack of information or instruction hinders a child’s learning ability.
”
”
Leila Molaie (ADHD DECODED- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO ADHD IN ADOLESCENTS: Understand ADHD, Break through symptoms, thrive with impulses, regulate emotions, and learn techniques to use your superpower.)
“
811. Focus on the here and now, forget yesterday’s behavior, and don’t predict tomorrow’s. Every day with ADHD is different from the next.
”
”
Susan Ashley (1000 Best Tips for ADHD: Expert Answers and Bright Advice to Help You and Your Child)
“
If a child or adolescent has AD/HD, he experiences some executive function weaknesses.
”
”
Joyce Cooper-Kahn (Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents' Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning)
“
Women should know the truth. They can take it; they are adults, not children. If a mother opts for formula rather than breastfeeding, there is good evidence that her baby will score lower on IQ tests and will have a higher risk of many illnesses including some cancers, diabetes, respiratory illnesses, diarrhea and ear infections. She should know that her own risk of breast, ovarian and uterine cancer will be higher, as well as her daughter’s risk of breast cancer. The mother increases her own risk of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and becoming overweight by “choosing” formula feeding. There is accumulating evidence that the risk of mental illness (alcoholism, ADHD, schizophrenia) is increased by not breastfeeding. A recent study suggested that even behaviour problems in adolescents are more likely if the child was formula fed. The longer the child is breastfed, the lower the risk both for the child and the mother.
”
”
Jack Newman (Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding: updated edition)
“
What does it mean for something to be natural? When we say that something is “natural”, what we often actually mean is that it is widely accepted or practiced, whereas something that is “unnatural” is foreign or strange to us.
”
”
Kytka Hilmar-Jezek (RAW FOOD FOR CHILDREN: Protect Your Child from Cancer, Hyperactivity, Autism, Diabetes, Allergies, Behavioral Problems, Obesity, ADHD & More)
“
In my opinion, ADD more aptly refers to Attention to Dreams and Discoveries, and ADHD describes Alert to Daydreams and Humorous Diversions—in
”
”
Mariaemma Willis (Discover Your Child's Learning Style: Personalized Learning for Student Success)
“
Development of brain growth, timing, and coordination in childhood are critical to proper function throughout life. If there is developmental delay in brain function in childhood, such as ADHD, autism, Tourette’s Syndrome, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety, tics, dyslexia, learning or processing disorders, or even more subtle symptoms, it is best to aggressively rehabilitate function before adulthood. Unfortunately, the current model of health care tells parents to wait for the child to grow out of it. However, many children do not grow out of it and miss key windows of time for ideal brain development. Unrelated to developmental delays, early symptoms of brain degeneration such as poor mental endurance, poor memory, and inability to learn new things are also serious issues when timing matters. The longer a person waits to manage their brain degeneration or developmental delay the less potential they have to make a difference. Datis Kharrazian, DHSc, DC, MS
”
”
Datis Kharrazian (Why Isn't My Brain Working?: A revolutionary understanding of brain decline and effective strategies to recover your brain’s health)
“
(see figure 1) or the macro-steps of the day’s plans (see figure 4). The level of detail depends on the context and the child’s needs for communication support. To help encourage literacy and develop sight words at
”
”
Teresa Garland Mot Otr (Self-Regulation Interventions and Strategies: Keeping the Body, Mind & Emotions on Task in Children with Autism, Adhd or Sensory Disorders)
“
law says a child’s IEP must be drafted without any influence of financial limitations.
”
”
Penny Williams (What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD: A 9-step plan to master the struggles and triumphs of parenting a child with ADHD)
“
appreciating the progress made by your child or student.
”
”
Ariana Kats (ADHD: ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER: Understanding Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment of ADHD (ADHD CHILDREN, ADHD ADULT, ADHD PARENTING, ADHD EFFECT ON MARRIAGE, ADHD DIET Book 1))
“
Mirror neurons fire for something as simple as drinking water and as complex as yelling in anger. When you watch someone else get angry, stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol start to flow. You may not always manage stress the way you hope to, but the very fact that you are working on it will benefit your children.
”
”
Bertin MD, Mark (The Family ADHD Solution: A Scientific Approach to Maximizing Your Child's Attention and Minimizing Parental Stress)
“
What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year.” (The Lightning Thief)
”
”
Rick Riordan
“
No one has an orderly home all the time, and unless you hire
a maid to clean and tidy constantly, families with kids won’t
always have tidy homes. Sometimes kids have bad days, a
family emergency occurs, or your child needs you to play
with them. These are all great reasons to leave the house to
30
Help! My Room Exploded
entropy and focus on your family
”
”
Annie Eklöv (Help! My Room Exploded: How to Simplify Your Home to Reduce ADHD Symptoms)
“
if “quality time” means having deep, meaningful
conversations or a good time with your child, there is
no way to ensure your time together will be “quality.” I
suggest spending intentional time with your kids and lots
of it! More time together will naturally create moments
of “quality time.
”
”
Annie Eklöv (Help! My Room Exploded: How to Simplify Your Home to Reduce ADHD Symptoms)
“
My goal is to help your child understand that ADHD isn’t a “defect” at all, and with the right tools, ADHD can be an asset. In this book, I use what is called a “strength-based approach.” That means I like to focus on each child’s individual strengths, from which they can build self-confidence. In other words, I’m emphasizing what your child can do right rather than wrong.
”
”
Kelli Miller (Thriving with ADHD Workbook for Kids: 60 Fun Activities to Help Children Self-Regulate, Focus, and Succeed (Health and Wellness Workbooks for Kids))
“
Those of us with short-term memory issues feel like we are trying to catch bubbles a child has blown with a plastic wand.
”
”
Tamara Rosier (Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD)
“
Parents know that it can be hard to forgive or move on when there is little or no accountability from their kids or genuine apologies. Their kids want to get it over with, say a quick sorry, and move on. The best option for you is to have a conversation with your son or daughter in a quiet moment, within their twenty-four-hour memory window, about what happened. Say what you need to say, see that it is heard, and ask for some accountability. When the conversation is over, you are finished; you reset and move forward. Compassion creates alliances that are the heart of successful parenting. Drs. Edward Hallowell and Peter Jensen, in their book Superparenting for ADD, emphasizes its importance
”
”
Sharon Saline (What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life)
“
Emotional dysregulation is a common symptom of ADHD, but many caregivers don’t realize that this emotional dysregulation actually starts in the gut, where serotonin and dopamine are made.
”
”
Dana Kay (Thriving with ADHD: A Guide to Naturally Reducing ADHD Symptoms in Your Child)
“
56 percent of ADHD kids tested positive for food allergies compared to less than 8 percent of kids in the general population.
”
”
Dana Kay (Thriving with ADHD: A Guide to Naturally Reducing ADHD Symptoms in Your Child)
“
The increase in children’s screen-focus is implicated as a reason for the exploding rate of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), a behavioral condition in which self-control is compromised.
”
”
Richard Freed (Wired Child: Reclaiming Childhood in a Digital Age)
“
child with ADHD may not seem to listen when spoken to or follow directions, may be reluctant to engage in tasks that are boring or effortful, may be distracted easily, fidget, leave his or her seat when sitting is expected, have difficulty waiting his or her turn, interrupt others, and talk excessively.
”
”
Sally Ozonoff (A Parent's Guide to High-Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder: How to Meet the Challenges and Help Your Child Thrive)
“
If you make a composite of these symptoms (unable to maintain focus and attention, deficient learning, behaviorally difficult, with mental health instability), and then strip away the label of ADHD, these symptoms are strongly overlapping with those caused by a lack of sleep. Take an under-slept child to a doctor and describe these symptoms without mentioning the lack of sleep, which is not uncommon, and what would you imagine the doctor is diagnosing the child with, and medicating them for? Not deficient sleep, but ADHD.
”
”
Matthew Walker (Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams)
“
am in no way contesting the disorder of ADHD, and not every child with ADHD has poor sleep. But we know that there are children who are sleep-deprived or suffering from an undiagnosed sleep disorder that masquerades as ADHD. They are being dosed for years of their critical development with amphetamine-based drugs.
”
”
Matthew Walker (Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams)
“
Avoidance starts with the child’s ADHD symptoms of forgetfulness, disorganization, and distractibility that irritate parents due to a lack of understanding. The parent displays their frustration in a way that confuses and generally labels the child without understanding. The child then withdraws from the parent and doesn’t ask for help with any executive functioning skills, which they absolutely need. The parent reiterates expectations, usually in a louder and more aggressive way, and then the child continues to display the same symptoms, leading to more resentment from the parent toward the child. It’s a dangerous cycle, and the responsibility is on the parents to break that cycle. Breaking this pattern requires education, patience, empathetic discussions of expectations, and an accurate understanding of ADHD or executive functioning deficiencies. Although that may sound a bit overwhelming, picking up this book is a great first step. Studies have shown that parental understanding of ADHD is the number-one predictor of adult success for children with ADHD.
”
”
Zac Grisham (Scattered to Focused: Smart Strategies to Improve Your Child's Executive Functioning Skills)
“
Adults just cannot understand how someone with strong test scores could forget to bring a pencil to class. In my case, this lack of understanding led me to believe that my brain just did not work right and that I was personally defective. It’s critical that parents or adults working with children with ADHD or executive functioning issues understand the internal frustration of these children. The way we react is critical in preventing the development of some of these damaging beliefs.
”
”
Zac Grisham (Scattered to Focused: Smart Strategies to Improve Your Child's Executive Functioning Skills)
“
Another study, described in the book The ADHD Explosion, showed that the rate of ADHD skyrocketed in locations where “No Child Left Behind” and similar programs were put in place.
”
”
Andrew Weil (Mind Over Meds: Know When Drugs Are Necessary, When Alternatives Are Better and When to Let Your Body Heal on Its Own)
“
Take breaks. You cannot and should never, ever run yourself out of batteries. Allow your child to take breaks as well, and always make sure you are well-rested, relaxed, and energized. Yes, you are working hard to help your child live a better life, but that doesn't mean you can allow yourself to go non-stop, without a single break. Allow family, friends, or a babysitter to spend some time with your child now and again; it can do wonders for your mental health and energy levels.
”
”
Anna Wiley (ADHD Raising an Explosive Child: The Vital Guide to Helping Parents Understand, Discipline & Empower Kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder to reach Success and Fulfillment with No-Drama)
“
Taking Charge of ADHD.
”
”
Russell A. Barkley (12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD)
“
What to Do Tonight Make sleep a family value, and set a family goal of sleeping more. Ned always tells his teenage students, “Pay yourself first,” a lesson adopted from financial planning that involves putting money into your savings account before you pay your bills. He tells kids “you’ll need to sleep something in the neighborhood of sixty-three hours a week (nine hours a day), so plan that and then plan what you’ll do the rest of the time.” It’s good advice for you as well as your kids. Talk to your kids about your own sleep-related challenges, and let them know if you’ve found things that have worked for you. Tell them you’re open to their suggestions. Assess whether your child has an effective wind-down routine before bed. If not, read about what experts call good sleep hygiene, or sleep habits. Try getting ready for bed before you’re really tired, as it’s harder to inhibit the desire to do one more thing or watch one more episode when you’re tired. Encourage your teens to try the same thing. Dim lights and pull shades at least thirty minutes before a child’s bedtime, which will trigger melatonin production. Try using blackout curtains and/or relaxation tapes. Also try warm milk, which actually does have a sleep-inducing effect. If necessary, talk to your pediatrician about the use of melatonin, which can be very effective for highly anxious kids and for kids with ADHD. Encourage exercise during the day, particularly if falling asleep in the first place is hard. If your child is a light sleeper or struggles to fall asleep, consider a white-noise generator.
”
”
William Stixrud (The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives)
“
It was the reason every teacher said I was “gifted” but wasn’t reaching my potential, or I was “a joy to have in class” but kept getting in my own way. Or why I had been called lazy, crazy, spacey, stupid, selfish, and other terrible names for a child to hear.
”
”
Jesse J. Anderson (Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD)
“
The BIRD Method for Making Good Choices B = Breathe - When faced with a decision, take a slow, deep breath first. This stimulates your reasoning brain! I = Identify - What exactly is the situation? What are your alternatives? Say them aloud. R = Reason - What would happen if you made each option? Would it benefit you or harm you and others? D = Decide - Make the best decision based on your reasoning.
”
”
Ferne Scott-Higgins (THE SURVIVAL HANDBOOK FOR TEENS WITH ADD OR ADHD: A Parent-Child Guide, to Making it Through Tough Years and Working Together, to Empower Young Adults ... and Life. (Survival Handbooks for Teens))
“
This condition is frequently misunderstood and misdiagnosed. In fact, many people still doubt it is a real thing, believing ADHD is not a legitimate condition but, instead, an excuse for a badly behaved child or for poor parenting. People
”
”
Blake E.S. Taylor (ADHD and Me: What I Learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table)
“
According to DSM-5-TR, children 4 to 16 must show at least 6 out of 9 symptoms listed in the DSM-5-TR with apparent severity to be officially diagnosed. Who and where: A psychiatrist, a neurologist, a psychologist, a certified mental health professional, or a pediatrician must be the ones to make the diagnosis.
”
”
Renato Flauzino (Parenting Kids with ADHD: A Beginner’s Guide to Help your Child Self-regulate, Focus, and Understand their SuperPower)
“
the theory that sugar can induce hyperactivity or any other kind of high isn’t supported by the research. The notion that sugar intake could lead to what was then called “the neurotic child” was first proposed in the medical literature in 1922, and later gained popularity during the 1970s, when researchers were first studying attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. But these early studies failed to control for many other factors that we know now can play a role in a child’s ADHD management, including their sleep schedule, parents’ stress levels, and genetics.
”
”
Virginia Sole-Smith (Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture)
“
written expression disability, they will significantly benefit from direct instruction, assistance, and accommodations.
”
”
Sharon Saline (What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life)
“
I am in no way contesting the disorder of ADHD, and not every child with ADHD has poor sleep. But we know that there are children who are sleep-deprived or suffering from an undiagnosed sleep disorder that masquerades as ADHD.
”
”
Matthew Walker (Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams)
“
Many children with behavioural issues are diagnosed with ADHD based on subjective symptoms, often without anyone asking about their sleep. They are medicated with powerful stimulant medications with potentially serious side effects.
”
”
Shereen Lim (Breathe, Sleep, Thrive: Discover how airway health can unlock your child’s greater health, learning, and potential)
“
This is the start of a toxic mismatch between the child’s capabilities and the unrealistic expectations of an education system that is all too often underresourced, developmentally uninformed, and trauma-ignorant. Even if the child “progresses” to the next grade, they are still behind, and this sets them up to fail. Year after year, they fall further and further behind. Their delays in developing skills, together with their trauma-related symptoms, begin to attract mental health labels (see Figure 6). The hypervigilance from their sensitized stress response is labeled ADHD; their predictable efforts to self-regulate—by rocking, chewing gum, doodling, daydreaming, listening to music, tapping their pencil, etc.—are prohibited. They will be labeled, medicated, excluded, punished, perhaps expelled, and then, all too often, arrested. When they try to avoid the constant humiliation of school, they’re charged with truancy; when they try to flee and the school staff tries to stop them, a restraint incident results in charges of assault—against the child. This is the school-to-prison pipeline.
”
”
Bruce D. Perry (What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing)
“
siblings of a child with ADHD often live with chronic frustration, guilt, worry, and anger about their recurrent daily hassles with their brother or sister. Sometimes they harbor resentment over how much attention and privileged status their brother or sister with ADHD seems to receive too often.38
”
”
Thomas E. Brown (Smart But Stuck: Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD)
“
I’ll never forget a story I heard years ago about a whirling dervish of a girl with ADHD, nine years old. Her teacher proposed a deal, a reward for meeting a behavioral goal. If the girl could “be good” for three weeks, the teacher would buy her an ice cream cone. The girl reported to her therapist: “Is she kidding? I can’t ‘be good’ for three hours, let alone three weeks. And besides, I don’t like ice cream.
”
”
Ellen Notbohm (Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew)