โ
True beauty is something that attacks, overpowers, robs, and finally destroys.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
Perfect purity is possible if you turn your life into a line of poetry written with a splash of blood.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Runaway Horses (The Sea of Fertility, #2))
โ
What transforms this world is โ knowledge. Do you see what I mean? Nothing else can change anything in this world. Knowledge alone is capable of transforming the world, while at the same time leaving it exactly as it is. When you look at the world with knowledge, you realize that things are unchangeable and at the same time are constantly being transformed.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
Beauty is something that burns the hand when you touch it.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Forbidden Colors)
โ
Young people get the foolish idea that what is new for them must be new for everybody else too. No matter how unconventional they get, they're just repeating what others before them have done.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (After the Banquet)
โ
Nobody even imagines how well one can lie about the state of oneโs own heart.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Thirst for Love)
โ
Dreams, memories, the sacred--they are all alike in that they are beyond our grasp. Once we are even marginally separated from what we can touch, the object is sanctified; it acquires the beauty of the unattainable, the quality of the miraculous. Everything, really, has this quality of sacredness, but we can desecrate it at a touch. How strange man is! His touch defiles and yet he contains the source of miracles.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
We live in an age in which there is no heroic death.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
The special quality of hell is to see everything clearly down to the last detail.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
Possessing by letting go of things was a secret of ownership unknown to youth.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
...living is merely the chaos of existence...
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
When silence is prolonged over a certain period of time, it takes on new meaning.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Thirst for Love)
โ
I still have no way to survive but to keep writing one line, one more line, one more line...
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
Anything can become excusable when seen from the standpoint of the result
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
An ugliness unfurled in the moonlight and soft shadow and suffused the whole world. If I were an amoeba, he thought, with an infinitesimal body, I could defeat ugliness. A man isnโt tiny or giant enough to defeat anything.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
What I wanted was to die among strangers, untroubled, beneath a cloudless sky. And yet my desire differed from the sentiments of that ancient Greek who wanted to die under the brilliant sun. What I wanted was some natural, spontaneous suicide. I wanted a death like that of a fox, not yet well versed in cunning, that walks carelessly along a mountain path and is shot by a hunter because of its own stupidityโฆ
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
...of all the kinds of decay in this world, decadent purity is the most malignant.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
The instant that the blade tore open his flesh, the bright disk of the sun soared up and exploded behind his eyelids.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Runaway Horses (The Sea of Fertility, #2))
โ
We are not wounded so deeply when betrayed by the things we hope for as when betrayed by things we try our best to despise.
In such betrayal comes the dagger in the back.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Thirst for Love)
โ
ุงูุณููุท ูู ุงูุญุจ ุงู
ุชูุงุฒ ุฎุงุต ููู
ูุญ ูุดุฎุต ูุณู
ุญ ูู ู
ุธูุฑู ุงูุฎุงุฑุฌูุ ููุชูุชู ุงูุญุณูุฉุ ูุฌููู ุงูุฏุงุฎููุ ูุงูุชูุงุฑู ููุชูุธูู
ุ ูุบูุงุจ ุฅุฏุฑุงููุ ุจุชุดููู ููุน ู
ู ุงูุตูุฑุฉ ุงูุฎูุงููุฉ ุนู ุงูุขุฎุฑูู.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of Dawn (The Sea of Fertility, #3))
โ
If the world changed, I could not exist, and if I changed, the world could not exist
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
Still immersed in his dream, he drank down the tepid tea. It tasted bitter. Glory, as anyone knows, is bitter stuff.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
a samurai is a total human being, whereas a man who is completely absorbed in his technical skill has degenerated into a โfunctionโ, one cog in a machine.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
He felt that taking naps was much more beneficial than confronting catastrophes.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
The cynicism that regards hero worship as comical is always shadowed by a sense of physical inferiority.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
โ
There's a huge seal called 'impossibility' pasted all over this world. And don't ever forget that we're the only ones who can tear it off once and for all.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
There isn't any fear in existence itself, or any uncertainty, but living creates it.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
When people concentrate on the idea of beauty, they are, without realizing it, confronted with the darkest thoughts that exist in this world. That, I suppose, is how human beings are made.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
Was I ignorant, then, when I was seventeen? I think not. I knew everything. A quarter-century's experience of life since then has added nothing to what I knew. The one difference is that at seventeen I had no 'realism'.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
โ
For clearly it is impossible to touch eternity with one hand and life with the other.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
Mine was the unbearable jealousy a cultured pearl must feel toward a genuine one. Or can there be such a thing in this world as a man who is jealous of the woman who loves him, precisely because of her love?
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
The past does not only draw us back to the past. There are certain memories of the past that have strong steel springs and, when we who live in the present touch them, they are suddenly stretched taut and then they propel us into the future.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
When a boyโฆ discovers that he is more given into introspection and consciousness of self than other boys his age, he easily falls into the error of believing it is because he is more mature than they. This was certainly a mistake in my case. Rather, it was because the other boys had no such need of understanding themselves as I had: they could be their natural selves, whereas I was to play a part, a fact that would require considerable understanding and study. So it was not my maturity but my sense of uneasiness, my uncertainty that was forcing me to gain control over my consciousness. Because such consciousness was simply a steppingstone to aberration and my present thinking was nothing but uncertain and haphazard guesswork.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
Yet how strange a thing is the beauty of music! The brief beauty that the player brings into being transforms a given period of time into pure continuance; it is certain never to be repeated; like the existence of dayflies and other such short-lived creatures, beauty is a perfect abstraction and creation of life itself. Nothing is so similar to life as music.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
It is a common failing of childhood to think that if one makes a hero out of a demon the demon will be satisfied.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
Time is what matters. As time goes by, you and I will be carried inexorably into the mainstream of our period, even though weโre unaware of what it is. And later, when they say that young men in the early Taisho era thought, dressed, talked, in such and such a way, theyโll be talking about you and me. Weโll all be lumped togetherโฆ. In a few decades, people will see you and the people you despise as one and the same, a single entity.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
The highest point at which human life and art meet is in the ordinary. To look down on the ordinary is to despise what you can't have. Show me a man who fears being ordinary, and I'll show you a man who is not yet a man.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Thirst for Love)
โ
Other people must be destroyed. In order that I might truly face the sun, the world itself must be destroyed....
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
Human life is limited but I would like to live forever.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
For a long time I had not approached the forbidden fruit called happiness, but it was now tempting me with a melancholy persistence. I felt as though Sonoko were an abyss above which I stood poised.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
ูุงู ุงูุงุถุทุฑุงุฑ ุฅูู ุงูุญูุงุฉ ุฃูุซุฑ ุณูุงุฏุงู ู
ู ุฃุดุฏ ุถุฑูุจ ุงูุณูุงุฏ ุงูุชูุงุฑุงู ููู
ุฑุญ, ุฃู ูุถุทุฑ ูู ููู
ูุฑุคูุฉ ุฑุฌู ูุณุนู ูููู
ุฃุนู
ู ุดูุก ุจุฏุงุฎูู, ูููุฌุญ ูู ุฐูู.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Decay of the Angel (The Sea of Fertility, #4))
โ
It is a rather risky matter to discuss a happiness that has no need of words.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
โ
Just now I had a dream. I'll see you again. I know it. Beneath the falls.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
I cried sobbingly until at last those visions reeking with blood came to comfort me. And then I surrendered myself to them, to those deplorably brutal visions, my most intimate friends.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
Real danger is nothing more than just living. Of course, living is merely the chaos of existence, but more than that it's a crazy mixed-up business of dismantling existence instant by instant to the point where the original chaos is restored, and taking strength from the uncertainty and the fear that chaos brings to re-create existence instant by instant. You won't find another job as dangerous as that. There isn't any fear in existence itself, or any uncertainty, but living creates it.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
You're not human. You're a being who is incapable of social intercourse. You're nothing but a creature, non-human and somehow strangely pathetic.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
Again and again, the cicadaโs untiring cry pierced the sultry summer air like a needle at work on thick cotton cloth.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Runaway Horses (The Sea of Fertility, #2))
โ
In his heart, he always preferred the actuality of loss to the fear of it.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
Possibly a man who hates the land should dwell on shore forever. Alienation and the long voyages at sea will compel him once again to dream of it, torment him with the absurdity of longing for something that he loathes.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
The perfectly ordinary girl and the great philosopher are alike: for both, the smallest triviality can become the vision that wipes out the world.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Decay of the Angel (The Sea of Fertility, #4))
โ
When a captive lion steps out of his cage, he comes into a wider world than the lion who has known only the wilds. While he was in captivity, there were only two worlds for him - the world of the cage, and the world outside the cage. Now he is free. He roars. He attacks people. He eats them. Yet he is not satisfied, for there is no third world that is neither the world of the cage nor the world outside the cage.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Thirst for Love)
โ
To see human beings in agony, to see them covered in blood and to hear their death groans, makes people humble. It makes their spirits delicate, bright, peaceful. It's never at such times that we become cruel or bloodthirsty. No, it's on a beautiful spring afternoon like this that people suddenly become cruel. It's at a moment like this, don't you think, while one's vaguely watching the sun as it peeps through the leaves of the trees above a well-mown lawn? Every possible nightmare in the world, every possible nightmare in history, has come into being like this.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
La Beautรฉ c'est la Mort.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
I was born with gloomy nature. I do not think I have ever known what it is to be cheerful and at ease.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
There is no virtue in curiosity. In fact, it might even be the most immoral desire a man can possess.
โ
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
Why are we all burdened with the duty to destroy everything, change everything, entrust everything to impermanency? Is it this unpleasant duty that the world calls life?
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
A father is a reality-concealing machine, a machine for dishing up lies to kids, and that isn't even the worst of it: secretly he believes that he represents reality.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
ูู ู
ุง ูุฏูู ุญูุงู ูุงู ุดุนูุฑุงู ุฌุงุฑูุงู ุจุงูุญู
ุงูุฉ ูุจุงูุงุจุชุฐุงู, ููุฏ ุฐุงุจ ู
ุชุญููุงู ุฅูู ุฑุชุงุจุฉ. ูู
ูู ูุงุฆูุฉ ุชุฌููุงุช ุงูุนุงุฏู ูุงูู
ุจุชุฐู! ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงูุชุฃูู, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงูุนุงุฌ, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงููุฏุงุณุฉ, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงูุฌููู, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุฐูู ุงูู
ุนุฑูุฉ ุงููุงุณุนุฉ, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงูุฃูุงุฏูู
ู ุงูู
ุฏุนู, ุงูุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงูู
ุบูุงุฌ, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงููุทุฉ ุงููุงุฑุณูุฉ, ุงุจุชุฐุงู ุงูู
ููู ูุงูุดุญุงุฐูู ูุงูู
ุนุชูููู ูุงููุฑุงุดุงุช.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Decay of the Angel (The Sea of Fertility, #4))
โ
[A] nation must ravage itself before foreigners can ravage it, a man must despise himself before others can despise him.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Runaway Horses (The Sea of Fertility, #2))
โ
Human beings, Isao realized, could descend to communicating their feelings like dogs barking in the distance on a cold night.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Runaway Horses (The Sea of Fertility, #2))
โ
A man isn't tiny or giant enough to defeat anything
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
Glory, as anyone knows, is bitter stuff.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
For me, beauty is always retreating from oneโs grasp: the only thing I consider important is what existed once, or ought to have existed.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
โ
History knew the truth. History was the most inhuman product of humanity. It scooped up the whole of human will and, like the goddess Kali in Calcutta, dripped blood from its mouth as it bit and crunched.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Decay of the Angel (The Sea of Fertility, #4))
โ
I've known supreme happiness, and I'm not greedy enough to want what I have to go on forever. Every dream ends. Wouldn't it be foolish, knowing that nothing lasts forever, to insist that one has a right to do something that does?
[...]but, if eternity existed, it would be this moment.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
Separation is painful, but so is its opposite. And if being together brings joy, then it is only proper that separation should do the same in its own way.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility #1))
โ
Insensitive people are only upset when they actually see the blood, but actually by the time that the blood has been shed the tragedy has already completed.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
I am one who has always been interested only in the edges of the body and the spirit, the outlying regions of the body and the outlying regions of the spirit. The depths hold no interest for me; I leave them to others, for they are shallow, commonplace. What is there, then, at the outer most edge? Nothing, perhaps, save a few ribbons, dangling down into the void.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
โ
If we look on idly, heaven and earth will never be joined. To join heaven and earth, some decisive deed of purity is necessary. To accomplish so resolute an action, you have to stake your life, giving no thought to personal gain or loss. You have to turn into a dragon and stir up a whirlwind, tear the dark, brooding clouds asunder and soar up into the azure-blue sky.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Runaway Horses (The Sea of Fertility, #2))
โ
Thus in a single phrase I can define the great illusion concerning 'love' in this world. It is the effort to join reality with the apparition.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
You were so beautiful when you wanted to die. When you wanted to live, you became so ugly.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
ุญุชู ูุฅู ุฃุจุญุฑุช ุณููุงุช ุนุฏูุฏุฉุ ูู ุชุนุชุงุฏ ููู
ุงู ุนูู ุงูุนูุงุตูุ ููู ูู ู
ุฑุฉ ุชุชุณุงุกู ุฅู ููุช ุณุชูุฏุน ุงูุญูุงุฉ".
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (ุงูุจุญุงุฑ ุงูุฐู ููุธู ุงูุจุญุฑ)
โ
I want to make a poem of my life.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
Let the darkness that is in my heart become equal to the darkness of the night that surrounds those innumerable lights!
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
The parting, like the white fruit of an apple discolouring instantly around the bite, had begun three days before when they had met aboard the Rakuyo.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
โ
He heard the sound of waves striking the shore, and it was as though the surging of his young blood was keeping time with the movement of the sea's great tides. It was doubtless because nature itself satisfied his need that Shinji felt no particular lack of music in his everyday life.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Sound of Waves)
โ
How dearly, indeed, I loved my pit, my dusky room, the area of my desk with its piles of books! How I enjoyed introspection, shrouded myself in cogitation; with what rapture did I listen for the rustling of frail insects in the thickets of my nerves!
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
โ
Abruptly he thrust his snow-drenched leather gloves against my cheeks.
I dodged. A raw carnal feeling blazed up within me, branding my cheeks. I felt myself staring at him with crystal clear eyes...
From that time on I was in love with Omi.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
โ
He had never looked forward to the wisdom and other vaunted benefits of old age. Would he be able to die youngโand if possible free of all pain? A graceful deathโas a richly patterned kimono, thrown carelessly across a polished table, slides unobtrusively down into the darkness of the floor beneath. A death marked by elegance.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
Only knowledge can turn life's unbearableness into a weapon.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
There's no doubt that he's heading straight for tragedy. It will be beautiful, of course, but should he throw his whole life away as a sacrificial offering to such a fleeting beauty--like a bird in flight glimpsed from a window?
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
A small night storm blows
Saying โfalling is the essence of a flowerโ
Preceding those who hesitate
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima
โ
Even when we're with someone we love, we're foolish enough to think of her body and soul as being separate. To stand before the person we love is not the same as loving her true self, for we are only apt to regard her physical beauty as the indispensable mode of her existence. When time and space intervene, it is possible to be deceived by both, but on the other hand, it is equally possible to draw twice as close to her real self.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
The living and the dead,
The awake and the sleeping,
The young and the old are all one and the same.
When the ones change, they become the others.
When those shift again, they become these again.
God is day and night.
God is winter and summer.
God is war and peace.
God is fertility and famine.
He transforms into many things.
Day and night are one.
Goodness and badness are one.
The beginning and the end of a circle are one.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of Dawn (The Sea of Fertility, #3))
โ
Amid the moon and the stars, amid the clouds of the night, amid the hills which bordered on the sky with their magnificent silhouette of pointed cedars, amid the speckled patches of the moon, amid the temple buildings that emerged sparkling white out of the surrounding darkness - amid all this, I was intoxicated by the pellucid beauty of Uiko's treachery.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
โ
His conviction of having no purpose in life other than to act as a distillation of poison was part of the ego of an eighteen-year-old. He had resolved that his beautiful white hands would never be soiled or calloused. He wanted to be like a pennant, dependent on each gusting wind. The only thing that seemed valid to him was to live for the emotions--gratuitous and unstable, dying only to quicken again, dwindling and flaring without direction or purpose.
โ
โ
Yukio Mishima (Spring Snow (The Sea of Fertility, #1))
โ
Do I, then, belong to the heavens?
Why, if not so, should the heavens
Fix me thus with their ceaseless blue stare,
Luring me on, and my mind, higher
Ever higher, up into the sky,
Drawing me ceaselessly up
To heights far, far above the human?
Why, when balance has been strictly studied
And flight calculated with the best of reason
Till no aberrant element should, by rights, remain-
Why, still, should the lust for ascension
Seem, in itself, so close to madness?
Nothing is that can satify me;
Earthly novelty is too soon dulled;
I am drawn higher and higher, more unstable,
Closer and closer to the sun's effulgence.
Why do these rays of reason destroy me?
Villages below and meandering streams
Grow tolerable as our distance grows.
Why do they plead, approve, lure me
With promise that I may love the human
If only it is seen, thus, from afar-
Although the goal could never have been love,
Nor, had it been, could I ever have
Belonged to the heavens?
I have not envied the bird its freedom
Nor have I longed for the ease of Nature,
Driven by naught save this strange yearning
For the higher, and the closer, to plunge myself
Into the deep sky's blue, so contrary
To all organic joys, so far
From pleasures of superiority
But higher, and higher,
Dazzled, perhaps, by the dizzy incandescence
Of waxen wings.
Or do I then
Belong, after all, to the earth?
Why, if not so, should the earth
Show such swiftness to encompass my fall?
Granting no space to think or feel,
Why did the soft, indolent earth thus
Greet me with the shock of steel plate?
Did the soft earth thus turn to steel
Only to show me my own softness?
That Nature might bring home to me
That to fall, not to fly, is in the order of things,
More natural by far than that improbable passion?
Is the blue of the sky then a dream?
Was it devised by the earth, to which I belonged,
On account of the fleeting, white-hot intoxication
Achieved for a moment by waxen wings?
And did the heavens abet the plan to punish me?
To punish me for not believing in myself
Or for believing too much;
Too earger to know where lay my allegiance
Or vainly assuming that already I knew all;
For wanting to fly off
To the unknown
Or the known:
Both of them a single, blue speck of an idea?
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Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
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As usual, it occurred to me that words were the only thing that could possibly save me from this situation. This was a characteristic misunderstanding on my part. When action was needed, I was absorbed in words; for words proceeded with such difficulty from my mouth that I was intent on them and forgot all about action. It seemed to me that actions, which are dazzling, varied things, must always be accompanied by equally dazzling and equally varied words.
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Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
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I felt as though I owned the whole world. And little wonder, because at no time are we ever in such complete possession of a journey, down to its last nook and cranny , as when we are busy with preparations for it. After that, there remains only the journey itself, which is nothing but the process through which we lose our ownership of it. This is what makes travel so utterly fruitless.
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
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When I arrived at the house in the suburbs that night I seriously contemplated suicide for the first time in my life. But as I thought about it, the idea became exceedingly tiresome, and I finally decided it would be a ludicrous business. I had an inherent dislike of admitting defeat. Moreover, I told myself, there's no need for me to take such decisive action myself, not when I'm surrounded by such a bountiful harvest of deathโdeath in an air raid, death at one's post of duty, death in the military service, death on the battlefield, death from being run over, death from diseaseโsurely my name has already been entered in the list for one of these: a criminal who has been sentenced to death does not commit suicide. Noโno matter how I considered, the season was not auspicious for suicide. Instead I was waiting for something to do me the favor of killing me. And this, in the final analysis, is the same as to say that I was waiting for something to do me the favor of keeping me alive.
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
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But I had deliberately acquired the habit of closing my eyes even to such obvious assumptions, just as though I did not want to miss a single opportunity for tormenting myself. This is a trite device, often adopted by persons who, cut off from all other means of escape, retreat into the safe haven of regarding themselves as objects of tragedy.
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
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It was the sea that made me begin thinking secretly about love more than anything else; you know, a love worth dying for, or a love that consumes you. To a man locked up in a steel ship all the time, the sea is too much like a woman. Things like her lulls and storms, or her caprice, or the beauty of her breast reflecting the setting sun, are all obvious. More than that, youโre in a ship that mounts the sea and rides her and yet is constantly denied her. Itโs the old saw about miles and miles of lovely water and you canโt quench your thirst. Nature surrounds a sailor with all these elements so like a woman and yet he is kept as far as a man can be from her warm, living body. Thatโs where the problem begins, right thereโIโm sure of it.
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Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace With the Sea)
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There is no such thing as a good father because the role itself is bad. Strict fathers, soft fathers, nice moderate fathers โ one's as bad as another. They stand in the way of our progress while they try to burden us with their inferiority complexes, and their unrealized aspirations, and their resentments, and their ideals, and the weaknesses they've never told anyone about, and their sins, and their sweeter-than-honey dreams, and the maxims they've never had the courage to live by โ they'd like to unload all that silly crap on us, all of it!
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Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
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Suddenly the full long wail of a ship's horn surged through the open window and flooded the dim room - a cry of boundless, dark, demanding grief; pitch-black and glabrous as a whale's back and burdened with all the passions of the tides, the memory of voyages beyond counting, the joys, the humiliations: the sea was screaming. Full of the glitter and the frenzy of night, the horn thundered in, conveying from the distant offing, from the dead center of the sea, a thirst for the dark nectar in the little room.
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Yukio Mishima (The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea)
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However, as words become particularized, and as men begin - in however small a way - to use them in personal, arbitrary ways, so their transformation into art begins. It was words of this kind that, descending on me like a swarm of winged insects, seized on my individuality and sought to shut me up within it. Nevertheless, despite the enemy's depredations upon my person, I turned their universality - at once a weapon and a weakness - back on them, and to some extent succeeded in using words to universalize to my own individuality.
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Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
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Only through the group, I realised โ through sharing the suffering of the group โ could the body reach that height of existence that the individual alone could never attain. And for the body to reach that level at which the divine might be glimpsed, a dissolution of individuality was necessary. The tragic quality of the group was also necessary, the quality that constantly raised the group out of the abandon and torpor into which it was prone to lapse, leading it to an ever-mounting shared suffering and so to death, which was the ultimate suffering. The group must be open to death โ which meant, of course, that it must be a community of warriors.
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Yukio Mishima (Sun & Steel)
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I do not mean to say that I viewed those desires of mine that deviated from accepted standards as normal and orthodox; nor do I mean that I labored under the mistaken impression that my friends possessed the same desires. Surprisingly enough, I was so engrossed in tales of romance that I devoted all my elegant dreams to thoughts of love between man and maid, and to marriage, exactly as though I were a young girl who knew nothing of the world. I tossed my love for Omi onto the rubbish heap of neglected riddles, never once searching deeply for its meaning. Now when I write the word love, when I write affection, my meaning is totally different from my understanding of the words at that time. I never even dreamed that such desires as I had felt toward Omi might have a significant connection with the realities of my "life.
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
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The blossoms seem unusually lovely this year. There were none of the scarlet-and-white-striped curtains that are set up among the blossoming trees so invariably that one has to come to think of them as the attire of cherry blossoms; there were no bustling tea-stalls, no holiday crowds of flower-viewers, no one hawking balloons and toy windmills; instead there were only the cherry trees blossoming undisturbed among the evergreens, making one feel as though he were seeing the naked bodies of the blossoms. Nature's free bounty and useless extravagance had never appeared so fantastically beautiful as it did this spring. I had an uncomfortable suspicion that Nature had come to reconquer the earth for herself.
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)
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How shall I put it? Beauty-yes, beauty is like a decayed tooth. It rubs against one's tongue, it hangs there, hurting one, insisting on its own existence, finally it gets so that one cannot stand the pain and one goes to the dentist to have the tooth extracted, Then, as one looks at the small, dirty, brown, blood-stained tooth lying in one's hand, one's thoughts are likely to be as follows: โIs this it? Is this all it was? That thing which caused me so much pain, which made me constantly fret about its existence, which was stubbornly rooted within me, is now merely a dead object. But is this thing really the,same as that thing? If this originally belonged to my outer existence, why-through what sort of providence-did it become attached to my inner existence and succeed in causing me so much pain? What was the basis of this creature's existence? Was the basis within me? Or was it within this creature itself? Yet this creature which has been pulled out of my mouth and which now lies in my hand is something utterly different. Surely it cannot be that?
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Yukio Mishima (The Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
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My blind adoration of Omi was devoid of any element of conscious criticism, and still less did I have anything like a moral viewpoint where he was concern. Whenever I tried to capture the amorphous mass of my adoration within the confines of analysis, it would already have disappeared. If there be such a thing as love that has neither duration nor progress, this was precisely my emotion. The eyes through which I saw Omi were always those of a 'first glance' or, if I may say so, of the 'primeval glance'. It was purely an unconscious attitude on my part, a ceaselesseffort to protect my fourteen-yesr-old purity from the process of erosion.
Could this have been love? Grant it to be one form of love, for even though at first glance it seemed to retain its pristine form forever, simply repeating that form over and over again, it too had its own unique sort of debasement and decay. And it was a debasement more evil than that of any normal kind of love. Indeed, of all the kinds of decay in this world, decadent purity is the most malignant.
Nevertheless, in my unrequited love for Omi, in this the first love I encountered in life, I seemed like a baby bird keeping its truly innocent animal lusts hidden under its wing. I was being tempted, not by the desire of possession, but simply by unadorned temptation itself.
To say the least, while at school, particularly during a boring class, I could not take my eyes off Omi's profile. What more could I have done when I did not know that to love is both to seek and to be sought? For me love was nothing but a dialogue of little riddles, with no answers given. As for my spirit of adoration, I never even imagined it to be a thing that required some sort of answer.
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Yukio Mishima (Confessions of a Mask)