Yo Mama Funny Quotes

Yo mama is so stupid… she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth!

Yo mama is so ugly… she made the Devil go to church!

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Yo mama is so fat… when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo mama is so fat… when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her!

Yo mama is so short … she broke her legs jumping off the toilet!

Yo mama is so lazy… she's got a remote control just to operate her remote control!

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

Yo mama is so skinny… she turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo mama is so old… that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama is so ugly… when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion says, “Stay over there!

Yo mama is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops.

Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through!

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she´s smuggling a Volkswagen.

Yo mama is so old… she farts dust!

Yo mama is so fat… she sank the Titanic!

Yo mama is so fat… when she wore a blue and green sweater, everyone thought she was planet Earth.

Yo mama is so fat… when she steps on a scale, it read, “One at a time, please”.

Yo mama is so old… she has an autographed Bible!   Yo

Yo mama is so ugly… she scared the crap out of a toilet!   Yo

Yo mama is so lazy… she starved instead of getting up to get some food.   Yo

Yo mama jokes…   Yo

Yo mama is so fat and greasy… she uses bacon strips as a bandaid!   Yo

Yo mama is so stupid… she thought she couldn’t buy a Gameboy because she is a girl!   Yo

Yo mama is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama is so poor… birds throw bread at her!

Yo mama is so hairy… you need a lawnmower to shave her back!

Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow… that when she smiles traffic slows down.

Yo mama is so fat… she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama is so fat… she jumped off the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Yo mama is so fat… she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow… I can't believe it's not butter.

Yo Mamma's so ugly.. ..even Hello Kitty says GOODBYE!!

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Yo mama is so fat… when she dives into the ocean there is a tsunami-warning!

Yo mama is so stupid… when they said that it is chilly outside, she went outside with a bowl and a spoon.

Yo mama is so poor… her TV has two channels: ON and OFF!

Yo mama is so poor… a tornado hit her house and did a home improvement!

Yo mama is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama is so fat… she broke a branch in her family tree!

YO MAMA JOKES

she used to babysit Adam and Eve!   Yo

Yo mama is so bald… she looks like Vin Diesel’s twin!   Yo

Yo mama is so ugly… when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”   Yo

Yo mama is so ugly… people put pictures of her on their car to prevent theft!   Yo

Yo mama is so ugly… when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”   Yo

Yo mama is so old… that when she was in school there was no history class.   Yo

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747? -About 20 pounds. -Yo mama carries more passengers. -Not everyone's been on a 747.

Yo mama is so ugly… I told her to take out the trash and we never saw her again!   Yo mama is so ugly… even Hello Kitty said goodbye!

Yo

Yo mama is so fat… her blood type is gravy!   Yo

Yo mama is so ugly… she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so fat, she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book!

Yo mama so dumb, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.

mama so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "We don't do livestock".

Yo mama so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo mama so fat, she left her iphone in her back pocket and it turned into an ipad.

there? The police.

she don’t get wet when it rains.

Yo mama is so stupid… it took her two hours to watch 60 seconds.

Yo mama is so stupid… she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.

Yo mama is so old… she knew the Great Wall of China when it was only good!

Yo mama is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama is so old… her first pet was a T-Rex! Yo mama is so old… she took her driving test on a dinosaur! Yo mama is so old… her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama is so old… she dated George Washington! Yo mama is so old… she has an autographed Bible! Yo mama is so old… that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics! Yo mama is so old… her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama is so old… she used to babysit Adam and Eve! Yo mama is so old… her memory is in black and white! Yo mama is so old… she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket! Yo mama is so old… she farts dust!

Yo mama is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama is so old… her first pet was a T-Rex! Yo mama is so old… she took her driving test on a dinosaur! Yo mama is so old… her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama is so old… she dated George Washington! Yo mama is so old… she has an autographed Bible! Yo mama is so old… that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics! Yo mama is so old… her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama is so old… she used to babysit Adam and Eve! Yo mama is so old… her memory is in black and white! Yo mama is so old… she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket! Yo mama is so old… she farts dust! Yo mama is so old… she knew the Great Wall of China when it was only good! Yo mama is so old… she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama is so old… she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama is so old… that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama is so old… her social security number is 1! Yo mama is so old… she knew the Dead Sea when it started getting sick! Yo mama is so old… she helped serve the Last Supper! Yo mama is so old… I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama is so old… she knew Mr. Clean when he had a head full of hair! Yo mama is so old… I took a picture of her and it came out black and white!

Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team! Yo mama is so stupid… she tripped over a wireless phone! Yo mama is so stupid… she failed a survey! Yo mama is so stupid… she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death! Yo mama is so stupid… when they said that it is chilly outside, she went outside with a bowl and a spoon. Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to drown a fish! Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to throw a bird off a cliff! Yo mama is so stupid… she took a knife to a drive-by! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center! Yo mama is so stupid… she bought a ticket to Xbox Live! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought she couldn’t buy a Gameboy because she is a girl! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought a scholarship was a ship full of students! Yo mama is so stupid… she threw a clock out the window to see time fly! Yo mama is so stupid… she went to the ocean to surf the Internet! Yo mama is so stupid… you can hear the ocean in her head! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Hamburger Helper came with a friend! Yo mama is so stupid… she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. Yo mama is so stupid… she sits on the floor and watches the couch. Yo mama is so stupid… she stayed up all night trying to catch up on her sleep! Yo mama is so stupid… she got her hand stuck in a website! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Christmas wrap was Snoop Dogg’s new song! Yo mama is so stupid… she can't pass a blood test. Yo mama is so stupid… she thought the Harlem Shake was a drink! Yo mama is so stupid… she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese. Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to climb Mountain Dew! Yo mama is so stupid… that she burned down the house with a CD burner. Yo mama is so stupid… she went to PetSmart to take an IQ test! Yo mama is so stupid… she went to the library to find Facebook! Yo mama is so stupid… she stole free bread. Yo mama is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Yo mama is so stupid… she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green. Yo mama is so stupid… when she asked me what kind of jeans I am wearing I said, “Guess”, and she said, “Levis”. Yo mama is so stupid… she called me to ask me for my phone number! Yo mama is so stupid… she worked at an M&M factory and threw out all the W's. Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to commit suicide by jumping out the basement window. Yo mama is so stupid… she got lost in a telephone booth. Yo mama is so stupid… she stuck a phone in her butt to make a booty call! Yo mama is so stupid… I said that drinks were on the house and she went to get a ladder! Yo mama is so stupid… she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth! Yo mama is so stupid… she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind. Yo mama is so stupid… it took her two hours to watch 60 seconds.

Yo mama is so poor… she put a Happy Meal on layaway! Yo mama is so poor… burglars break into her house and leave money! Yo mama is so poor… her TV has two channels: ON and OFF! Yo mama is so poor… her face is on a foodstamp! Yo mama is so poor… when it rains she says, “Shower time!” Yo mama is so poor… thieves rob her house for practice! Yo mama is so poor… she hangs toilet paper out to dry! Yo mama is so poor… she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Yo mama is so poor… she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, what are ya doing? She said, “Buying luggage.” Yo mama is so poor… birds throw bread at her! Yo mama is so poor… it took her a year to save a penny! Yo mama is so poor… a tornado hit her house and did a home improvement! Yo mama is so poor… when I ring the doorbell she says, DING! Yo mama is so poor… when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said, “Ok, choose a corner.” Yo mama is so poor… the last time she smelled a hot meal was when a rich man farted! Yo mama is so poor… she can’t even afford a Payday! Yo mama is so poor… she drives a poor-shhh! Yo mama is so poor… I jumped in a puddle and she scolded me for messing up her bath tub! Yo mama is so poor… I stepped in her house and fell into the backyard. Yo mama is so poor… your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama is so poor… she got caught stealing from Dollar General! Yo mama is so poor… the roaches pay the light bill! Yo mama is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama is so poor… I walked in her house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, “Who turned off the lights?” Yo mama is so poor… when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing and she said, “Moving.

Yo mama is so ugly… they had to feed her with a Frisbee! Yo mama is so ugly… when she watches TV the channels change themselves! Yo mama is so ugly… she looks like she has been bobbing for apples in hot grease! Yo mama is so ugly… they passed a law saying she could only do online shopping! Yo mama is so ugly… she looked in the mirror and her reflection committed suicide! Yo mama is so ugly… even homeless people won’t take her money! Yo mama is so ugly… she’s the reason blind dates were invented! Yo mama is so ugly… even a pit-bull wouldn’t bite her! Yo mama is so ugly… she scares the paint off the wall! Yo mama is so ugly… she scares roaches away! Yo mama is so ugly… she looked out the window and got arrested! Yo mama is so ugly… she had to get a prescription mirror! Yo mama is so ugly… bullets refuse to kill her! Yo mama is so ugly… for Halloween she trick-or-treats on the phone! Yo mama is so ugly… when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion says, “Stay over there!” Yo mama is so ugly… I told her to take out the trash and we never saw her again! Yo mama is so ugly… even Hello Kitty said goodbye! Yo mama is so ugly… even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo mama is so ugly… that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo mama is so ugly… she made the Devil go to church! Yo mama is so ugly… she made an onion cry. Yo mama is so ugly… when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?” Yo mama is so ugly… she is the reason that Sonic the Hedgehog runs! Yo mama is so ugly… The NHL banned her for life. Yo mama is so ugly… she scared the crap out of a toilet! Yo mama is so ugly… she turned Medusa to stone! Yo mama is so ugly… her pillow cries at night! Yo mama is so ugly… she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out! Yo mama is so ugly… she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo mama is so ugly… people put pictures of her on their car to prevent theft! Yo mama is so ugly… her mother had to be drunk to breast feed her! Yo mama is so ugly… instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck. Yo mama is so ugly… when they took her to the beautician it took 24 hours for a quote! Yo mama is so ugly… they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo mama is so ugly… just after she was born, her mother said, “What a treasure!” And her father said, “Yes, let's go bury it!” Yo mama is so ugly… her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mama is so ugly… when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.” Yo mama is so ugly… they had to feed her with a slingshot! Yo mama is so ugly… that she scares blind people! Yo mama is so ugly… when she walks into a bank they turn off the surveillance cameras. Yo mama is so ugly… she got beat up by her imaginary friends! Yo mama is so ugly… the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama is so lazy… she undercooks Ramen noodles! Yo mama is so lazy… she don’t have dining table because she is always in bed! Yo mama is so lazy… she stuck her head out the window to let the wind blow her nose! Yo mama is so lazy… she was late to her “stay at home” job! Yo mama is so lazy… she thinks a two-income family is where the man has two jobs. Yo mama is so lazy… she arrived late at her own funeral. Yo mama is so lazy… she stole your identity to spend more time with you! Yo mama is so lazy… her to-do list says, “Nothing!” Yo mama is so lazy… she starved instead of getting up to get some food. Yo mama is so lazy… that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon. Yo mama is so lazy… she's got a remote control just to operate her remote control!

Yo mama is twice the man you are!

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Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team!

Yo mama is so stupid… she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!

Yo mama is so stupid… she went to the library to find Facebook!

Yo mama is so fat… when she wears a red dress all the kids scream look it’s the Kool-Aid man.

Yo mama is so fat… that when she wanted a waterbed, they had to put a cover over the Pacific Ocean.

Yo mama is so old… she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama is so old… I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo mama is so old… she knew Mr. Clean when he had a head full of hair!

Yo mama is so fat… all she wanted for Christmas was to see her feet!

Yo mama is so old… she knew the Dead Sea when it started getting sick!

Yo mama is so stupid… she stole free bread.

Yo mama is so poor… when I ring the doorbell she says, DING!

Yo mama is so fat… she walked in front of the TV and I missed four shows.

Yo mama is so fat… she's got her own area code!

Yo mama is so stupid… she bought a ticket to Xbox Live!

Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to drown a fish!

Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to throw a bird off a cliff!

Yo mama is so stupid… she thought she couldn’t buy a Gameboy because she is a girl!

Yo mama is so stupid… she threw a clock out the window to see time fly!