Working Mom Guilt Quotes

We had guilt of every flavor: We had working-mom guilt, childless guilt, guilt because we’d turned down a social obligation, guilt because we’d accepted an invitation we knew we didn’t have time for, guilt for turning away work and for not turning it down when we felt we were already being taken advantage of. We had guilt for asking for more and for not asking for enough, guilt for working from home, guilt for eating a bagel, Catholic guilt and Presbyterian guilt and Jewish guilt, none of which tasted quite the same. We felt guilty if we weren’t feeling guilty enough, so much so that we began to take pride in this ability to function under moral conflict.

Guilt is a response to what you think you’ve done wrong. Shame is feeling that who you are is wrong.

Balance is Impossible; Memories are Better.

Balance in impossible; memories are better. (TILT-7 Solutions To Be A Guilt-free Working Mom)

Good enough is the new perfect.

The moral of the story isn’t to keep you from having children altogether or to force you into the complete resignation of your former self but rather to help you to understand that what you’re feeling is common, that you are not the only woman to feel this way, and that it does work itself out. Periods of transition are just that… periods. It’s not forever, and you will come through it.

I think women should have choices and should be able to do what they like, and I think it's a great choice to stay at home and raise kids, just as it's a great choice to have a career. But I don't entirely approve of people who get advanced degrees and then decide to stay at home. I think if society gives you the gift of one of those educations and you take a spot in a very competitive institution, then you should do something with that education to help others... But I also don't approve of working parents who look down on stay-at-home mothers and think they smother their children. Working parents are every bit as capable of spoiling children as ones who don't work - maybe even more so when they indulge their kids out of guilt. The best think anyone can teach their children is the obligation we all have toward each other - and no one has a monopoly on teaching that.

He smiled, and some of the knots in my stomach loosened. He would keep my secret. Devon hesitated, then reached over and put his hand on top of mine. His skin was warm, as though the sun had soaked into his body. I breathed in, and the crisp, clean scent of him filled my nose, the one that made me want to bury my face in his neck and inhale the essence of him over and over again. But I forced myself to exhale and step back, putting some distance between us, even though our hands were still touching. “Look,” I said, my voice carefully neutral. “You’re a nice guy, a great guy. But I’m going to . . . be here for a while. You’re an important member of the Family, and I’m your bodyguard, so it’s my job to protect you, and we’re going to have to work together. But I don’t think there should be anything . . . else.” “Because of your mom, right?” he asked in a low voice. “Because you blame me for her death?” I sucked in a breath, so rattled that I couldn’t even pretend I didn’t know what he was talking about. First, my magic, and now this. Somehow, Devon knew all my secrets. “How do you know about my mom?” I croaked out. “I remember everything about that day in the park,” he said. “Including the girl with the blue eyes who helped save me.” I didn’t say anything. I could barely even hear him over the roar of my own heartbeat in my ears. “It took me a while to figure out why you seemed so familiar. When I realized you reminded me of the girl in the park, I knew it had to be you. Mom would never have brought you here otherwise. Plus, there are several photos of your mother in the library. You look just like her. I know what happened to her. I’m sorry that she died because of me—so sorry.” His green gaze locked with mine, that old, familiar guilt flaring to life in his eyes and punching me in the gut. And once again, I found myself wanting to comfort him. “I don’t blame you for her death,” I said. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault. It was all the Draconis.” “Do you really mean that?” he whispered. “I do.” Devon closed the distance between us and stared down at me. I let myself look into his eyes for another heartbeat. Then I pulled my hand out from under his and stepped away. Hurt flashed in his gaze before he could hide it. I wanted to stop. I wanted to tell him that I felt this thing, this attraction, this heat between us just as much as he did. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck, pull his lips down to mine, and lose myself in him. But I couldn’t. Not when I was planning on leaving the mansion, the Family, and him, the second I thought it was safe. I already cared about Devon way too much. And Felix and Oscar and even Claudia. I didn’t need to fall any farther down that rabbit hole, especially where Devon was concerned, because I knew exactly where I would end up—with my heart broken.

Ah, guilt. One of the most painful human emotions that one can experience. Even without the burden of an illness, guilt is a part of life. But so many who live with a chronic condition feel intense guilt. When I had first found out that I was pregnant with my son, the very first emotion that kicked in wasn't pure joy or excitement, there were not any happy tears shed from me. My very first thought when I saw the positive pregnancy test was "What kind of mom am I going to be? What if my child grows up to hate me because I can't do everything he'll want to do?" Guilt is such a common emotion that surrounds us. Even those who aren't parents experience it in other ways, guilt over not being able to work anymore, guilt over not getting the chores finished, and the list can go on and on. It can turn into a relentless cycle of self-blame. There is something important to remember here, when guilt decides to sneak up on you. You did not ask for any of this. None of this is in your control, it is not your fault. I do not care if you have to repeat this out loud over and over again to make it stick, but I want you to know that you are still awesome, despite these shitty illnesses.

As working moms, we are constantly making choices about how and in what to invest our time. The more we can do that’s not rooted in guilt and comparison but is instead an output of joy and love, the better life is.

You see, the benefit of forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Do not let a circumstance define you and the way you live your life. Forgiveness brings freedom and wholeness. It doesn’t erase what has happened to you, but it allows you to heal and move forward with grace and wholeness.

Stay on your job if you can. It not only helps to balance the mind-numbing routine of mothering young children, but also provides you the connection with the outside world. You’ll have more to share with your children, and you’ll light up their growing minds with infinite knowledge. Never give up learning, even when knowledge

Then what is it?” I questioned. “You promised you’d be honest with me. What is it do you want?” “Not something you’d be willing to give.” “Zeke, dammit, what are you after?” “You, Sash!” His voice raised at first and then he muttered under his breath, “I’m after you.” The hell was that supposed to mean. I abruptly stood and Zeke got off the couch with me. “What?” “Your mom, she was the one who brought me to you but it was you who made me want to stay, Sasha. I stayed, looking out for you, making sure you’re safe… because of you.” “Me?” My heart knocked and bashed against my ribs. “You stayed because of me?” “It was your goddamn smile that did it.” He reached the back of his neck and scratched just under his skull. “I can’t get over how beautiful it is.” “There is no way,” I told him. “You’ve been trying to make my life hell since you started working with me.” “Because it stopped me from getting too close to you.” “Why didn’t you want to?” “I’m a bad influence on girls like you.” “Girls like me?” Ha. “You mean the kind of girls that have their father killed just to get away from them?” I cried tears of guilt. My chin dipped to my chest. “I’m not perfect either, Zeke. You could have told me the truth.

When Ulyssa’s mom kicked into guilt overdrive she always overemphasized her Italian accent and started talking about saints. It always worked. If she was in Star Wars, she would have been Darth Guilt.

Often, the reason we’re so quick to judge other women with decisions different from our own is that we aren’t completely comfortable with our own choices. The woman with a full-time office job looks down on the stay-at-home mom while battling her own guilt about not attending every class party and field trip. The stay-at-home mom judges the woman working long hours while at the same time struggling with her own sense of identity and purpose.

All positive changes must originate from your private life and then propagate your personal life, and eventually your public life.

See if you can recognize any of these patterns from your own life or from the lives of your friends and family members: Only being able to earn a certain amount of money each month, no matter how hard or how much you work Only being attracted to partners who turn out to bear an uncanny resemblance to your asshole dad (or to your asshole mom, or to the first person who broke your heart, or whatever) Hearing the mean voice of your third-grade teacher in your head whenever you sit down to create, so you avoid creating Overeating (or overindulging in drugs, alcohol, etc.) to cover up feelings of guilt, shame, loneliness, frustration that seem endless Disliking yourself/your body no matter what your shape Perpetually feeling victimized and like your life would be good if only rude other people (your family, your boss, your spouse, your employees, the government, the blacks, the gays, the straights, the whites, the Jews, the Christians, the capitalists, the hippies, etc., etc.) would stop messing with you

Leaving your baby with childcare when you’re working. Leaving your baby with childcare when you’re not working. Not having more patience. Not having time to sanitize pump parts. Not doing more tummy time. Letting your baby cry during tummy time. Going out on date night. Drinking wine and having to dump your milk. Drinking wine and not dumping your milk. Giving your baby toys with batteries. Quitting breastfeeding.

SHIT YOU NEED TO STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT. Going to work out. Having lunch with friends. Missing bedtime. Not generating a better income.

Step Four: Ideal-Week Planning Now you need to take your “only I can do” list and actually plot out how you will get all these things done. I hope your to-do list is shorter than when you picked up this book. If so, that reduction is a massive win in itself. The goal is to schedule all these things out. Literally, go through the list, plot each item into your calendar, and create an automated repeating appointment so it shows up in your calendar on a weekly basis. For example, if only you can write a weekly blog post and you know you need about three hours to write and publish a post, create a three-hour appointment in your calendar from ten to one o’clock on Mondays, for example, and then make it a recurring appointment. The same process can be followed for child-related activities. If you are the person who primarily picks up your kids from school, put an appointment in your calendar for the amount of time it takes to drive or walk to the school, pick them up, and return home. Repeat this task for all the activities you have on the only-you list. Once you’ve entered these activities, you may be thinking, Okay, Lisa, that’s great, but I have now run out of time. So what happens if you actually block everything in and you run out of hours in the week? If I were sitting across from you in a private coaching session, this is what I would ask: •Are all the activities in your calendar truly things only you can do? Is there anything that could be delegated to someone else? •Can any of these activities be batched with something else? For example, could you do research for a blog post on your phone while you run on the treadmill? Can you do phone calls on your commute home or while grocery shopping for your family? •Is everything in your calendar actually aligned with your ideal life plan? Is there anything on the list that is no longer supporting this plan? Be honest with yourself about things that need to go—even if you are having a hard time letting go. •Can you reduce the amount of time it takes to do an activity? This might seem like an incredibly overwhelming exercise, but trust me, it is an incredibly worthwhile exercise. It might seem rigid to schedule everything in your life, but scheduling brings the freedom not to worry about how you are spending your time. You have thought it through, and you know that every worthwhile activity has been accounted for. This system, my friend, is the cure to mom guilt. When you know you have appropriately scheduled dedicated time for your children, your spouse, yourself, and your work, what do you have to feel guilty about?

They Just Don’t Do That Anymore He used to wake me, oh so often. He’d had a bad dream, or a cough, or something felt funny inside. I would grumble, or be patient, depending on the night and how tired I was. Back to his room and tuck him in. Rinse and repeat, through many moons. But he doesn’t do that anymore. He used to be our pickiest eater. Though we’d always fed all three the same, he turned up his nose more frequently. I would grumble about this, or be patient, depending on the day and all that had happened up until that point. Trying not to make it worse, we encouraged him to taste new flavors. We also honored his preferences and didn’t force it. Now he gobbles down chili, curry, many of his former not-favorites. He doesn’t do that anymore. They used to argue every day: shout, bite, whine, hit. Clamoring for position and power, each in his or her own way. I would grumble about this, or be patient, depending on the state of my heart and energy level. These days plenty of disagreements occur, but so do apologies, ones I don’t always have to oversee or manage. They don’t do that anymore. The tantrums, oh dear Lord, the tantrums. “Don’t give in and they’ll soon learn that tantrums don’t work.” Ha. I never gave in, but that didn’t stop these daily events that pushed me to my limit and beyond. For years. I would grumble about this, or be patient, depending on how many times we’d been down this road in the past twenty-four hours. At times I found myself sitting through the screaming, my own tears of helplessness running like rivers. Too drained to even wipe them away. Convinced I must be doing everything wrong. But they don’t do that anymore. Some mamas are reading this after multiple times up in the night. Or you’ve stumbled across these words soon after yet another shouting match. Or maybe the dinner you poured weary energy into met with a resounding lack of applause. I don’t want to minimize the stage you’re in. Don’t want to tell you, “Enjoy these days, they go by so fast.” I’m not here to patronize you. Instead let me pour a little encouragement your way: Go ahead and grumble, or be patient. You don’t have to handle all the issues perfectly. Go ahead and cry, and wonder if it’s even worth it. Go ahead and pray, for strength to make it through the next five minutes. Because one day, often when you least expect it, often when you’ve come to peace with the imperfections and decided to be happy anyway, you’ll wake up, look around in amazement and realize: They just don’t do that anymore.

Guilt” meant wildly different things to different mothers. There were those who said they “felt guilty” because they ached to hold their babies and worried that they’d left them, unsoothed, in less capable hands. Then there were others who luxuriated in the freedom of the office—the air conditioning, the lovely bottled water, the intelligent conversations, the almost-forgotten bliss of being alone in their own skin. Those mothers also “felt guilty,” they said. Why? For not missing their babies more! Guilt was an automatic. Like some unconscious tic.

There is joy waiting for us as we mother, not in spite of our work but alongside it, if we choose relationships, passion and priorities over obligations and guilt. There is joy in the process, in figuring it out, in deciding what's important and then letting go of what we think we're supposed to do.

Want to stop feeling depleted, anxious, and unsatisfied in times of crisis? Want to find the best solution to your problems? The secret to living your best life is to focus on your strengths, not weaknesses. You aren't selfish to recharge before giving your best to your family. You don't have to be perfect to be happy.