“
I know I will never see that smile the same way again, it will never bring me instant comfort nor warm my soul the same again.
I know I will miss the flood of emotions that released for your touch to point of dehydration.
I will miss the small, pulsating, vibrations running through my body as your voice ricochet in my ear.
I will miss the beauty I saw in your pain as you took me on a journey through your soul, thu conversations
I will miss our inner child's spontaneous and planned play dates.
I will miss the silence in my mind commanded by you taking the lead.
I will miss daydreaming about loving you forever, because I still had an ounce of hope leftover after a lifetime of searching for you.
I will miss you forgiving me after, I recovered from a trigger, never appreciated the punishment that came with it tho.
I will miss not being able to protect your heart from the pain I recognize, that your ego guards from your souls innocents that your mind can't tolerate yet.
I will miss the feeling I felt knowing you could really be here with me forever because the exchange of laughter, wisdom and moments never ended.
I will miss loving the man you are now in life, because even without the potential I see, you are worthy just as you are
. I will miss things about you that you will never know, it was never about status or statuses
I didn't want the spotlight, I wanted to be behind the scenes. I just wanted to support and love you.
I wanted to guide you through parts of life that almost broke me, that I see you encountering.
I will miss having somewhere to pour almost all of me.
I will miss the possibility of being loved forever, I know I felt it though the roughness of your sore hands as I caressed trying to alleviate the pain.
I will miss your grumpy days and I still regret not knowing how to comfort you on the hardest ones.
I will miss who I sometimes selfishly dreamed I could be if you could just love me in the way I could feel.
I'd dream of waiting for u to get home, (its the one we talked about getting after winning the lottery)
. In that moment I swear it was the first time my soul wanted another day voluntarily.
I will miss you not understanding my text, but we would see eye to eye when they physically met.
I will miss you teaching me, and correcting me softly.
I will miss you being gentle, when I didn't even know I needed it. I know it was hard sometimes.
I will miss how you kept things together, always calm and steady, I was the complete opposite, clumsy and messy.
You were everything I wasn't, and I loved you for that the most.
I will miss thinking of you as my sun, and I will miss you calling me Starr
I will miss loving you beyond myself.
I will miss all those moments I wanted to pull u into me and just feel you and kiss you.
I wanted you all the time, it took so much to hold back from showing you, it was out of fear of rejection of not being enough.
I SHOULD of done it, would of got to this point faster.
I regret not loving you with all me authenticly.
I will miss what never was a friend, but everything I never had In one
”
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