“
Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.
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Shannon L. Alder
“
Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.
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Rob Liano
“
God didn’t design your life so you would constantly fall down, but he does hope that you will be brought to your knees.
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Shannon L. Alder
“
Finding real love is not spontaneous. It is love forged over time, trial, and tribulations. - Kailin Gow
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Kailin Gow
“
The People We Marry Are Not the People We Divorce
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Nicole Sodoma (Please Don't Say You're Sorry: An Empowering Perspective on Marriage, Separation, and Divorce from a Marriage-Loving Divorce Attorney)
“
There are trials and mistakes and even wars along the path of marriage.
”
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Patti Callahan Henry (Between The Tides)
“
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.” The
”
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Matt Chandler (The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption)
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(My greatest human flaw and strength, not surprisingly, is that I can always imagine anything--a marriage, a conversation, a government--as being different from how it is, a trait that might make one a top-notch trial lawyer or novelist or realtor, but that also seems to produce a somewhat less than reliable and morally feasible human being.)
”
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Richard Ford (Independence Day)
“
. . . children should draw [a husband & wife] nearer than ever, not separate you, as if they were all yours, and [your husband] had nothing to do but support them. . . . don't neglect husaband for children, don't shut him out of the nursery, but teach him how to help in it. His place is there as well as yours, and the children need him; let him feel that he has his part to do, and he will do it gladly and faithfully, and it will be better for you all. . . . That is the secret of our home happiness: he does not let business wean him from the little cares and duties that affect us all, and I try not to let domestic worries destroy my interest in his pursuits. Each do our part alone in many things, but at home we work together, always. . . . no time is so beautiful and precious to parents as the first years of the little lives given them to train. Don't let [your husband] be a stranger to the babies, for they will do more to keep him safe and happy in this world of trial and temptation than anything else, and through them you will learn to know and love one another as you should.
”
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Louisa May Alcott (Good Wives. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy: Being a Sequel to 'Little Women'. With Illustrations by Jessie T. Mitchell)
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There are many types of marriage relationships and all of them can work, but none is sadder than the one that doesn't represent peace in your heart.
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Shannon L. Alder
“
Why should people importune the Lord about small trials and petty ailments, and at the same time neglect to ask His guidance on matters of love and marriage which make or mar one’s life?
”
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Nephi Anderson (Added Upon: A Story)
“
I see,' agreed Rule. 'You are going to be the Sacrifice.'
She looked up at him rather shyly. 'It c-can't signify to you, can it? Except that I know I'm not a Beauty, like L-Lizzie. But I have got the Nose, sir.'
Rule surveyed the Nose. 'Undoubtedly, you have the Nose,' he said.
Horatia seemed determined to make a clean breast of her blemishes. 'And p-perhaps you could become used to my eyebrows?'
The smile lurked at the back of Rule's eyes. 'I think, quite easily.'
She said sadly: 'They won't arch, you know. And I ought to't-tell you that we have quite given up hope of my g-growing any taller.'
'It would certainly be a pity if you did,' said his lordship.
'D-do you think so?' Horatia was surprised. 'It is a great trial to me, I can assure you.' She took a breath, and added, with difficulty: 'You m-may have n-noticed that I have a - a stammer.'
'Yes, I had noticed,' the Earl answered gently.
'If you f-feel you c-can't bear it, sir, I shall quite understand,' Horatia said in a small, anxious voice.
'I like it,'said the Earl.
”
”
Georgette Heyer (The Convenient Marriage)
“
And they lived happily ever after” is one of the most tragic sentences in literature. It is tragic because it tells a falsehood about life and has led countless generations of people to expect something from human existence which is not possible on this fragile, imperfect earth. The “happy ending” obsession of Western culture is both a romantic illusions and a psychological handicap. It can never be literally true that love and marriage are unblemished perfections, for any worthwhile life has its trials, its disappointments, and its burning heartaches. Yet who can compare the numbers of people who have unconsciously absorbed this “and they lived happily ever after” illusion in their childhood and have thereafter been disappointed when life has not come up to their expectations and who secretly suffer from the jealous conviction that other married people know a kind of bliss that is denied them..Life is not paradise. It is pain, hardship, and temptation shot through with radiant gleams of light, friendship and love.
”
”
Joshua Loth Liebman (Hope for Man: an optimistic philosophy and guide to self-fulfillment)
“
I will stand beside you through all of this,' she said when she could finally speak. “And welcome you home with gladness when it’s over, and you return triumphant.
”
”
Grace Draven (Eidolon (Wraith Kings, #2))
“
Our marriage lasted a few months. Once you left, what remained faded faster than the ink on the license. And what's left..well, it could blow away in one tiny puff of wind."
"Well,then." he spoke with an air of certainty. "I'll try not to exhale."
"Don't bother. I stopped holding my breath years before.
”
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Courtney Milan (Trial by Desire (Carhart, #2))
“
I’ve found that obedience to God creates quiet fulfillment in the present. There is a spiritual satisfaction that comes even in the midst of our trials. It is a demeanor that may not be as “showy” as gleeful happiness, but it is much less subject to moods and makes for much more permanent a disposition.
”
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Gary L. Thomas (Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?)
“
...love was an action, an instinct. A response wrapped by unplanned moments and small gestures. An inconvenience in someone else's favor. How I felt it most when he drove up to New York after work at 3 in the morning just to hold me in a warehouse in Brooklyn after I had discovered my mother was sick. The many times these months he had flown 3000 miles whenever I needed him while he listened patiently through the 5 calls a day I'd been making since June, and though I wished our marriage could begin under more ideal circumstances, it had been these very trials that had assured me he was everything I needed to brave the future that lay ahead.
”
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Michelle Zauner (Crying in H Mart)
“
For him [Kafka], the most tormenting thing about his notion of marriage must have been its ruling out the possibility of one's ever becoming so small as to be able to vanish: one has to be there.
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Elias Canetti (Kafka's Other Trial: The Letters to Felice)
“
In all human love it must be realized that every man promises a woman, and every woman promises a man that which only God alone can give, namely, perfect happiness. One of the reasons why so many marriages are shipwrecked is because as the young couple leave the altar, they fail to realize that human feelings tire and the enthusiasm of the honeymoon is not the same as the more solid happiness of enduring human love. One of the greatest trials of marriage is the absence of solitude. In the first moments of human love, one does not see the little hidden deformities which later on appear.
”
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Fulton J. Sheen (Three to Get Married)
“
A strong woman has waited patiently while her roots grew down deep into the Word of God. Over time, she becomes unshakeable in her faith. She starts bearing fruit naturally and is full of life. People are attracted to her strength and growth, and many find rest and peace as they lean on her. And when storms and trials come, as they always do, they will not be able to take her down. A few branches may be lost or pruned away, but in their place comes new growth, new life. This is what I long to be! A strong woman who is anchored in God’s promises. But it starts by setting down your roots in God’s Word. It will not happen as you stand up for yourself, and demand attention, and fight for yourself. It will happen as you stand in Christ, and demand that He gets your attention, and fight for His glory. The beautiful thing is that as we pursue this, God takes His rightful place in our lives.
”
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Francis Chan (You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity)
“
After having so nobly disentangled themselves from the shackles of Parental Authority, by a Clandestine Marriage, they were determined never to forfeit the good opinion they had gained in the World, in so doing, by accepting any proposals of reconciliation that might be offered them by their Fathers – to their farther trial of their noble independence however they never were exposed.
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Jane Austen (Love and Freindship (and Other Early Works))
“
There is no intimacy as great as that between young girls. Even between lovers, who cross boundaries we are accustomed to thinking of as at the furthest territories of closeness, there is a constant awareness of separateness, the wonder at the fact that the loved one is distinct, whole, with a past and a mind housed behind the eyes we gaze into that exist, inviolate, without us. It is the lack of such wonder that reveals the depth of intimacy in that first chaste trial marriage between girls.
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Emily Bitto (The Strays)
“
That truth set me free, along with other truths like leaning daily on God’s grace and realizing that God’s children are never victims. Everything that touches their lives, he permits. The irony is, you can’t imagine a more victimized person than Jesus. Yet when he died, he didn’t say, “I am finished” but “It is finished.” He did not play the victim, and thus he emerged the victor. Forget the self-pity. True, your supervisor may be trying to push you out of your job. Your marriage may be a fiery trial. You might be living below the poverty level. But victory is ours in Christ. His grace is sufficient. Know this truth and it will set you free. This day, Jesus, I can feel sorry for myself or victorious in you. Show me how to choose the latter.
”
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Joni Eareckson Tada (More Precious Than Silver: 366 Daily Devotional Readings)
“
The mere idea that you are not in a place for the rest of your life gives you an awfully unstable feeling. That's why trial marriages would never work. You've got to feel you're in a thing irrevocably and forever in order to buckle down and really put your whole mind into making it a success.
”
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Jean Webster (Dear Enemy (Daddy-Long-Legs, #2))
“
But if Hugh dies first, would I ever be able to stop saying, "we" and say "I"? I doubt it. I do not think that death can take away the fact that Hugh and I are "we" and "us," a new creature born of the time of our marriage vows, which has grown along with us as our marriage has grown. Even during the times, inevitable in all marriages, when I have felt angry, or alienated, the instinctive "we" remains. And most growth has come during times of trial.
”
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Madeleine L'Engle (Two-Part Invention: The Story of a Marriage (Crosswicks Journals, #4))
“
The humiliations of girlhood. The separating of the beautiful from the plain and the ugly. The terror of maidenhood. The trials of marriage or childbirth – or their absence. The loss of that same beauty around which the whole system appears to revolve. The change of life. What strange lives women lead!
”
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Zadie Smith (The Fraud)
“
How can you develop a healthy dating relationship?
Through trial and error, I have found that developing a healthy dating relationship with someone requires that both people have a healthy relationship with God, which they maintain through prayer, scripture study (especially of the Atonement), repentance, and living the commandments.
”
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Robert K. McIntosh (How Do You Know When You're Really in Love? An LDS Guide to Dating, Courtship, and Marriage)
“
The year is not over, and I already feel I have gained a great deal of perspective that I didn’t have this time last year. I understand myself better. I understand what I did to contribute to the downfall of my marriage. I also understand what I allowed to happen to my marriage. When this trial period is over, I know I will be a changed woman.
”
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Taylor Jenkins Reid (After I Do)
“
There is always a danger that those who are less obviously and traditionally important, prominent, or powerful will be left out of the history of human experience.
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Chloe Schama (Wild Romance: A Victorian Story of a Marriage, a Trial, and a Self-Made Woman)
“
Damned clever, I thought, how men had made life so intolerable for single women that most would gladly embrace even bad marriages instead.' - character Idadora Wing in Erica Jong's novel 'Fear of Flying
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”
Mona Chollet (In Defense of Witches: The Legacy of the Witch Hunts and Why Women Are Still on Trial)
“
I see," agreed Rule. "You are going to be the Sacrifice."
She looked up at him rather shyly. "It c-can't signify to you, can it? Except that I know I'm not a Beauty, like L-Lizzie. But I have got the Nose, sir."
Rule surveyed the Nose. "Undoubtedly, you have the Nose," he said.
Horatia seemed determined to make a clean breast of her blemishes. "And p-perhaps you could become used to my eyebrows?"
The smile lurked at the back of Rule's eyes. "I think, quite easily."
She said sadly: "They won't arch, you know. And I ought to t-tell you that we have quite given up hope of my g-growing any taller."
"It would certainly be a pity if you did," said his lordship.
"D-do you think so?" Horatia was surprised. "It is a great trial to me, I can assure you." She took a breath, and added, with difficulty: "You m-may have n-noticed that I have a—a stammer."
"Yes, I had noticed," the Earl said gently.
"If you f-feel you c-can't bear it, sir, I shall quite understand," Horatia said in a small, anxious voice.
"I like it," said the Earl.
"It is very odd of you," marvelled Horatia. "But p-perhaps you said that to p-put me at my ease?"
"No," said the Earl. "I said it because it was true.
”
”
Georgette Heyer (The Convenient Marriage)
“
I realized that part of me had been waiting for Wendell to make a miraculous recovery. To rescue us all, as well as himself, just when we needed him most. It would fit the pattern of innumerable stories.
But perhaps Wendell wasn't part of his kingdom's story anymore. Or he was, but merely as a footnote, a trial for his stepmother to overcome as she rose from powerful to unstoppable-- to irrevocably weave herself into the fabric of her world, as the king of Ljosland had.
And if he was a footnote, what did that make me?
I leaned close, breathing in the smell of his hair--- the salt of sweat; smoke from the fire; and the distant smell of green leaves that never left him.
"My answer is yes," I whispered in his ear.
”
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Heather Fawcett (Emily Wilde’s Map of the Otherlands (Emily Wilde, #2))
“
Wary of being caught unawares, we planned our parenthood, committed to trial marriages with pre-nuptials, and pre-arranged our parents’ funerals—convinced we could pre-feel the feelings that we have heard attend new life, true love, and death.
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Thomas Lynch (The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade)
“
Expectations about divorce are partly self-fulfilling because a higher expected probability of divorce reduces investments in specific capital and thereby raises the actual probability. 7 For example, consensual and trial marriages are less stable than legal marriages, and marriages between persons of different religions or races are less stable than those within a religion or race, partly because mixed marriages have fewer children. At the same time, as indicated, mixed marriages have fewer children partly because they are expected to be less stable. Specific investment and imperfect information can explain why homosexual unions are much less stable than heterosexual marriages (Saghir and Robins, 1973, pp. 56-58, 226-227). Homosexual unions do not result in children, and generally they have a less extensive division of labor and less marital-specific capital than heterosexual marriages. Moreover, the opprobrium attached to homosexuality has raised the cost of search to homosexuals and thereby has reduced the information available to them. Furthermore, homosexual unions, like trial marriages, can dissolve without legal adversary proceedings, alimony, or child support payments.
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Gary S. Becker (A Treatise on the Family)
“
Epithalamium
Without silence there would be no music.
Life paired is doubtless more difficult
than solitary existence -
just as a boat on the open sea
with outstretched sails is trickier to steer
than the same boat drowsing at a dock, but schooners
after all are meant for wind and motion,
not idleness and impassive quiet.
A conversation continued through the years includes
hours of anxiety, anger, even hatred,
but also compassion, deep feeling.
Only in marriage do love and time,
eternal enemies, join forces.
Only love and time, when reconciled,
permit us to see other beings
in their enigmatic, complex essence,
unfolding slowly and certainly, like a new settlement
in a valley, or among green hills.
In begins from one day only, from joy
and pledges, from the holy day of meeting,
which is like a moist grain;
then come the years of trial and labor,
sometimes despair, fierce revelation,
happiness and finally a great tree
with rich greenery grows over us,
casting its vast shadow. Cares vanish in it.
”
”
Adam Zagajewski
“
She clung to her husband. And it was just at the time when he needed her most, because he suffered the disadvantage of being ten years ahead of her as he stumbled alone through the mists of old age, with the even greater disadvantage of being a man and weaker than she was. In the end they knew each other so well that by the time they had been married for thirty years they were like a single divided being, and they felt uncomfortable at the frequency with which they guessed each other’s thoughts without intending to, or the ridiculous accident of one of them anticipating in public what the other was going to say. Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nastiness and fabulous flashes of glory in the conjugal conspiracy. It was the time when they loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other mortal trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore.
”
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Gabriel García Márquez (Love in the Time of Cholera)
“
1) The overall success rate for drugs moving from early stage Phase I clinical trials to FDA approval is about one in 10 (10%). —Reuters 2) The average drug can take anywhere from 8 - 18 years from pre-clinical (development) to clinical (phase 1, 2, and 3) to FDA approval. 3) The average cost to bring a drug to market: Phase 1 $15.2 million; Phase 2 $23.4 million; Phase 3 $86.5 million (total = $125.1 million) —FDA.gov
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”
Penny Reid (Marriage of Inconvenience (Knitting in the City, #7))
“
After business, the next most frequent use of the polygraph test is as part of criminal investigations. It is not only used on criminal suspects but sometimes also with witnesses or victims whose reports are doubted. The Justice Department, FBI, and most police departments follow the policy of using the polygraph only after investigations have narrowed down the list of suspects. Most states do not allow the results of the polygraph to be reported in a trial.
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Paul Ekman (Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage)
“
Other books depended less on personal contacts than on certain abiding concerns. Early in his career, Dreiser had become interested in a crime that he saw as a dark version of the American success motif: the murder of a woman who stood in the way of her lover’s dreams of social and material advancement through a more advantageous marriage. For An American Tragedy (1925) he investigated numerous case histories, many of them sensational murders involving well-known figures such as Roland Molineux and Harry Thaw. He finally settled on the 1906 Chester Gillette trial for the murder of Grace Brown that occurred in the lake district of upstate New York. The novel benefited from the popular interest in criminal biography, a form to which Dreiser’s masterpiece gave new life as the progenitor of documentary novels of crime such as Richard Wright’s Native Son, Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood, and Norman Mailer’s The Executioner’s Song.
The Cambridge Companion to Theodore Dreiser
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Thomas P. Riggio (An American Tragedy)
“
There's satisfaction in knowing something so well-- and knowing someone so well. Like a recipe by heart, every step, every ingredient, every taste. So familiar that it feels a part of her, as soon as her fingers dip into flour or rich skin. Each knead like an argument, each release like a kiss, until something has been made out of practically nothing, a string of separate ingredients mixed together like a courtship until they make one whole, grown stronger by each trial, each compression under two palms.
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Jennifer Gold (The Ingredients of Us)
“
Men trial sheepdogs for the usual metaphysical reasons. Some men seek justice in their own lifetime. Others, a type of immortality. Bill Crowe of Virginia once explained that he trialed, "For the pure intellectual achievement of it." Some men hope that love is proof against adversity. Some trial sheepdogs to forget - bad marriages can make good sheepdog handlers - and others trial to remember: that single moment, the flash of light on a dog's coat, the dog dead now twenty years. A few men trail because that's the only way they can reduce the world to their size; others trial for the raw information trialing provides, a flux they can puzzle over for a lifetime.
”
”
Donald McCaig (Nop's Hope)
“
Two fears alternate in marriage, of loneliness and of bondage. The dread of loneliness being keener than the fear of bondage, we get married. For one person who fears being thus tied there are four who dread being set free. Yet the love of liberty is a noble passion and one to which most married people secretly aspire, -- in moments when they are not neurotically dependent -- but by then it is too late; the ox does not become a bull, not the hen a falcon.
The fear of loneliness can be overcome, for it springs from weakness; human beings are intended to be free, and to be free is to be lonely, but the fear of bondage is the apprehension of a real danger, and so I find it all the more pathetic to watch young men and beautiful girls taking refuge in marriage from an imaginary danger, a sad loss to their friends ad a sore trial to each other. First love is the one most worth having, yet the best marriage is often the second, for we should marry only when the desire for freedom be spent; not till then does a man know whether he is the kind who can settle down. The most tragic breakings-up are of those couples who have married young and who have enjoyed seven years of happiness, after which the banked fires of passion and independence explode -- and without knowing why, for they still love each other, they set about accomplishing their common destruction.
”
”
Cyril Connolly (The Unquiet Grave: A Word Cycle by Palinurus)
“
Berkman and Goldman had met three years earlier, in the dim, smoke-filled dining room of Sachs’ Café on Manhattan’s Lower East Side. Sachs’ was the regular hangout of Yiddish-speaking radicals, poets, and free spirits. Goldman had found her way there after escaping a loveless marriage and oppressive relatives. She had felt that no one in her family understood her, and she couldn’t fathom why they weren’t as angry as she was about the injustices of American society. She seethed with anger over the highly publicized hanging of four anarchists. They had been wrongly convicted of conspiracy following the detonation of a bomb thrown by an unseen assailant at an 1886 labor rally for the eight-hour day on Chicago’s Haymarket Square. The executed men had been made into scapegoats. They were rounded up because of their views and given a sham trial to placate a disquieted public agitated by a yellow press who saw bearded, fiery-eyed foreign revolutionaries behind every strike and workers rally. The Goldmans had fled oppression in their native Russia only to find that capitalists were no better than czars.
”
”
James McGrath Morris (Revolution By Murder: Emma Goldman, Alexander Berkman, and the Plot to Kill Henry Clay Frick (Kindle Single))
“
From the cobbled Close, we all admired the Minster's great towers of fretted stone soaring to the clouds, every inch carved as fine as lacework. Once we had passed into the nave, I surrendered my scruples to that glorious hush that tells of a higher presence than ourselves. It was a bright winter's day, and the vaulted windows tinted the air with dappled rainbows. Sitting quietly in my pew, I recognized a change in myself; that every morning I woke quite glad to be alive. Instead of fitful notions of footsteps at midnight, each new day was heralded by cheery sounds outside my window: the post-horn's trumpeting and the cries and songs of busy, prosperous people. I was still young and vital, with no need for bed rest or sleeping draughts. I was ready to face whatever the future held. However troubled my marriage was, it was better by far than my former life with my father. Dropping my face into my clasped hands, I glimpsed in reverie a sort of labyrinth, a mysterious path I must traverse in the months to come. I could not say what trials lay ahead of me- but I knew that I must be strong, and win whatever happiness I might glean on this earth.
It was easy to make such a resolution when, as yet, I faced no actual difficulties. Each morning, Anne and I returned from our various errands to take breakfast at our lodgings. Awaiting us stood a steaming pot of chocolate and a plate of Mrs. Palmer's toast and excellent buns. Anne and I both heartily agreed that if time might halt we should have liked every day to be that same day, the gilt clock chiming ten o'clock, warming our stockinged feet on the fire fender, splitting a plate of Fat Rascals with butter and preserves, with all the delightful day stretching before us.
”
”
Martine Bailey (A Taste for Nightshade)
“
In 1924, riding a wave of anti-Asian sentiment, the US government halted almost all immigration from Asia. Within a few years, California, along with several other states, banned marriages between white people and those of Asian descent. With the onset of World War II, the FBI began the Custodial Detention Index—a list of “enemy aliens,” based on demographic data, who might prove a threat to national security, but also included American citizens—second- and third-generation Japanese Americans. This list was later used to facilitate the internment of Japanese Americans. In 1940, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Alien Registration Act, which compelled Japanese immigrants over the age of fourteen to be registered and fingerprinted, and to take a loyalty oath to our government. Japanese Americans were subject to curfews, their bank accounts often frozen and insurance policies canceled. On December 7, 1941, the Japanese attacked a US military base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. More than 2,400 Americans were killed. The following day, America declared war on Japan. On February 19, 1942, FDR signed Executive Order 9066, permitting the US secretary of war and military commanders to “prescribe military areas” on American soil that allowed the exclusion of any and all persons. This paved the way for the forced internment of nearly 120,000 Japanese Americans, without trial or cause. The ten “relocation centers” were all in remote, virtually uninhabitable desert areas. Internees lived in horrible, unsanitary conditions that included forced labor. On December 17, 1944, FDR announced the end of Japanese American internment. But many internees had no home to return to, having lost their livelihoods and property. Each internee was given twenty-five dollars and a train ticket to the place they used to live. Not one Japanese American was found guilty of treason or acts of sedition during World War II.
”
”
Samira Ahmed (Internment)
“
As the years go by and I grow older, I feel compelled to record my experiences in wartime Germany. It is important that my children, grandchildren and future generations know about the difficult times we all endured and of the horrors that existed in Nazi Germany during the Second World War. Due to my advanced age and present condition, I am aware of the urgency to document my memories. If I fail in this, I will fail those who follow me, for they will never know!” Adeline Perry
This book had its origin many years ago when Adeline Perry tried to recount her experiences and found that she would become overcome by her emotions every time she tried. The horrors and trials that she had experienced, plus the responsibility of raising her two daughters proved to be overwhelming. It was not until the twilight of her life when her daughters gently persuaded her to try again so that future generations might hear and perhaps learn from her experiences. In fact a good portion of these manuscripts were written while she was in the care of Hospice and only now survive because of immense personal strength and devotion to her family and the desire that what had happened to her would never happen again. Her daughter, and my wife, Ursula can take a great deal of pride in the effort it took to make these manuscripts a reality.
After Adeline’s passing I had the privilege to develop the book Suppressed I Rise. Staying true to her story I gave her the authorship of the first edition of this book, which adhered to, and did not exceed what she had left in her original manuscripts. This book which was printed in limited numbers became an instant success and deserved more exposure. Readers also felt that there were questions that went unanswered requiring a follow-up. How did Adeline justify going to Germany prior to World War II? What happened to her marriage to Richard and how did she resume her own life, as a single mother, when she returned to South Africa!
With additional reflections by her daughters Brigitte Grigsby and Ursula Bracker, and travel to the areas discussed in Suppressed I Rise, I expanded the book to include the prewar years. I also corrected minor contradictions and factual discrepancies that were inadvertently caused by the passage of time. Talking to people in Germany I confirmed some of what had happened including the hanging of the Russian prisoner of war. The book has now become a powerful example of not only personal courage but also of human tragedy. It is a book that I am proud to have written and share in the concept that it was a story that had to be told.
”
”
Hank Bracker
“
Part of the problem, obviously, is that we’ve gotten as greedy about marriage as we have about so much else. And because we are so invested in youthful behavior, we have youthful illusions abetted by a culture that insists that the conversation, libido, interaction, attraction, and relationship of two people who have been together for forty years should be more or less like that of two people who have been together for only a few months. This makes no sense, nor should it. What if I said that I still wrote in much the same way, about most of the same things, as I did when I was eighteen? What if my husband had developed no new techniques or strategies for trying a case after decades as a trial lawyer? That wouldn’t be seen as reassuring or normative but as terrible.
”
”
Anna Quindlen (Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake)
“
I nodded, making sure to put on my “serious listening” face. It’s one I developed in childhood, honed during my teenage years, and perfected through lots of trial and error in my marriage. It’s proven fairly reliable.
”
”
Tal M. Klein (The Punch Escrow)
“
Through the trials, tribulations, and arguments, we’ve never lost one thing. We’ve never fallen out of love. Never once have I wished for our lives to be different. Sure, it’s more fun to always be happy. But that’s not life. Life is ugly and mess, and marriages are hard. If it were easy all the time, no one would appreciate the wonderful times. It’s in the messy that we appreciate the pristine. And the pristine that is Tess and Barrett Ryan is a beautiful thing.
”
”
Jennifer Van Wyk (From the Ground Up)
“
paused to wonder what I would say if I could send a message back through time to my skinny twenty-two-year-old self. What would I say to him about love and marriage? I realized I would tell him to thank God for his ruined honeymoon. I would tell him he doesn’t know a thing, yet, about love or marriage. I would tell him that nobody’s wedding goes perfectly, and that every honeymoon has some hitches. And I’d tell him that’s a good thing because life isn’t lived in the abstract ideals of one’s own script but is lived instead in the sort of unity that comes through trials and struggles and cross-bearing, together. I would tell him the little turbulences he was facing then would pale in comparison to the trials they would face later on. I would tell him to stop being so ridiculously uptight and entitled and thank God for showing such goodness to him, with a wife like this, with a life like this.
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Russell D. Moore (The Storm-Tossed Family: How the Cross Reshapes the Home)
“
The only thing that gave him away as a man on trial, rather than as a man on his way to work, were his poor fingers. He'd chewed his nails down to the soft meat and started in on his cuticles. Sweet Roy. The only thing my good man ever hurt were his own hands.
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Tayari Jones (An American Marriage)
“
The Bible teaches that we are all sinners (Rom. 3:23), and our marriages are affected by sin as well. Yet we must remember that no marriage is beyond the saving grace of God. If He can save us from our sins and spiritual death and give us eternal life through His Son, He can bring restoration, healing, and peace to our lives and relationships here on earth. If you are facing trials in your marriage or you know someone who is, encourage them to visit a godly counselor who will honestly and lovingly point out the truth of God’s Word and try to preserve their marriage in keeping with His will.
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Walk Thru the Bible (Journey Day by Day: Living Life Well)
“
And at the root of our stupidity on issues from guns to education to gay marriage is our bone deep ignorance when it comes to religion. America is being held hostage by the Christian evangelical right. Repressive attitudes toward sex, women, homosexuality, and contraception, as well as superstition-based notions of life and death, have infected the culture, our educational system, and our government. People calling themselves Christians slam the brakes on social progress, grounding their self-righteousness in a literal interpretation of a book written thousands of years ago by people living halfway around the world. It’s as if there’s a Monkey Trial being waged over every aspect of modern life. Our
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Ian Gurvitz (WELCOME TO DUMBFUCKISTAN: The Dumbed-Down, Disinformed, Dysfunctional, Disunited States of America)
“
I am, and that’s exactly why I’m challenging you. I don’t want your personal involvement to cloud your judgment. You’re the all-star lawyer. Give me one good, lawful reason why you’re rushing the trial.
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Jeneva Rose (The Perfect Marriage (Perfect, #1))
“
Everything. My marriage is over. My husband is on trial for murder. I’m not getting any help from the Prince William County Sheriff’s Department, and I’ve hit a dead end in the case. I’m going to lose.
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Jeneva Rose (The Perfect Marriage (Perfect, #1))
“
And I accepted the job without consulting Shelley. Yeah, I’m a slow learner! Fast-forward to today. It’s been an incredible ride. It took the better part of five years to feel like we were stabilized. It took seven years for Shelley to say she actually respected me. It took eight years for her to say that if we had to go through it all over again, she would still choose me. It took nine years for her to say that my sexual addiction was one of the best things that ever happened to her. My jaw hit the floor when she said that. Today, as I write this, it’s a little over ten years since the mocha hit the fan. We have seen God’s amazing redemption play out, and our marriage is special. We’re still trying to figure out intimacy, still working through painful memories of the past, still leaning into conflict. And trust, well, trust has been and is still being restored. It’s an ongoing thing, which is exactly what prompted my penning this book. This book is in so many ways a “don’t do what I did” manuscript. It is the culmination of a decade of trial and error. My hope is that it will give you the courage you need to lean into the trials and make fewer errors than I did.
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Stephen Arterburn (Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back)
“
Every friendship has its own trials
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John Arthur
“
From the Civil War through his two battles on the Yellowstone, he proved decisive, not reckless; shrewd, not foolish. In every other regard, he danced along the emerging modern world, unable to adapt to it. He failed in the new sphere of finance, rejected new thinking about equality, and wrote antiquated prose. He offended his military superiors, mismanaged subordinates, alienated civilian authorities, meddled inappropriately in politics, endangered his marriage, and gambled away his estate. Again and again he saved himself through his ability to fight. And yet, ironically, we now remember him as a bad commander.
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T.J. Stiles (Custer's Trials: A Life on the Frontier of a New America)
“
(My greatest human flaw and strength, not surprisingly, is that I can always imagine anything—a marriage, a conversation, a government—as being different from how it is, a trait that might make one a top-notch trial lawyer or novelist or realtor, but that also seems to produce a somewhat less than reliable and morally feasible human being.)
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Richard Ford (Independence Day: Bascombe Trilogy 2 (Pulitzer Prize Winner))
“
Well, here, a marriage only has to last three months. Matehood is forever, but marriage is more of a…” Zikas scanned the ceiling, trying to find the right words. “A trial.
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Victoria Aveline (Choosing Theo (Clecanian, #1))
“
First fervor is false fervor in marriage as in religion. The earliest ecstasy is not the true lasting love we seek to find and hold. That may come to us, but only after many purging trials, fidelities under stress, perseverance through discouragement and steady pursuit of our divine destiny past all the allurements of this earth. The deep, ecstatic love of some Christian fathers and mothers is a beautiful thing to see, but they have won it after passing through their Calvaries. Theirs is the true ecstasy which belongs less to youth than to old age. The first ecstasy of love is a thrill, but a somewhat of a selfish thrill. In it, the lover seeks to get from the beloved all that he will give. In the second ecstasy he tries to receive from God all that both of them can give. If love is identified with the early ecstasy alone, it will seek its prolongation in another person's presence. If it is identified with a unifying, enduring, and eternal love, it will seek the deepening of its mystery in the divine, Who puts all loves into our hearts.
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Fulton J. Sheen (Way to Happiness: An Inspiring Guide to Peace, Hope and Contentment)
“
But it’s communication and learning how to humble yourself amid the trials that hit your marriage that sustains it. Believe me, in marriage, there are all sorts of trials and tribulations, from finances to sexual temptations, to health issues, to church and community issues, you name it. The marriage union appears to be touched by all kinds of outside issues.
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Denise Cook-Godfrey (All Churched Out: The Weary Wife of the Pastor-Book 1 (A Christian Fiction Thriller))
“
There are thousands today echoing the same rebellious complaint against God. They do not see that to deprive man of the freedom of choice would be to rob him of his prerogative as an intelligent being, and make him a mere automaton. It is not God’s purpose to coerce the will. Man was created a free moral [332] agent. Like the inhabitants of all other worlds, he must be subjected to the test of obedience; but he is never brought into such a position that yielding to evil becomes a matter of necessity. No temptation or trial is permitted to come to him which he is unable to resist. God made such ample provision that man need never have been defeated in the conflict with Satan. As men increased upon the earth, almost the whole world joined the ranks of rebellion. Once more Satan seemed to have gained the victory. But omnipotent power again cut short the working of iniquity, and the earth was cleansed by the Flood from its moral pollution. Says the prophet, “When Thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness. Let favor be showed to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness, ...and will not behold the majesty of Jehovah.” Isaiah 26:9, 10. Thus it was after the Flood. Released from his judgments, the inhabitants of the earth again rebelled against the Lord. Twice God’s covenant and his statutes had been rejected by the world. Both the people before the Flood and the descendants of Noah cast off the divine authority. Then God entered into covenant with Abraham, and took to himself a people to become the depositaries of his law. To seduce and destroy this people, Satan began at once to lay his snares. The children of Jacob were tempted to contract marriages with the heathen and to worship their idols. But Joseph was faithful to God, and his fidelity was a constant testimony to the true faith. It was to quench this light that Satan worked through the envy of Joseph’s brothers to cause him to be sold as a slave in a heathen land. God overruled events, however, so that the knowledge of himself should be given to the people of Egypt. Both in the house of Potiphar and in the prison Joseph received an education and training that, with the fear of God, prepared him for his high position as prime minister of the nation. From the palace of the Pharaohs his influence was felt throughout the land, and the knowledge of God spread far and wide. The Israelites in Egypt also became prosperous and wealthy, and such as were true to God exerted a widespread influence. The idolatrous priests were filled with alarm as they saw the new religion finding favor. Inspired by Satan with his own enmity toward the God of heaven, they set themselves to quench the light. To the priests was committed [333] the education of the heir to the throne, and it was this spirit of determined opposition to God and zeal for idolatry that molded the character of the future monarch, and led to cruelty and oppression toward the hebrews.
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Ellen Gould White (Patriarchs and Prophets)
“
If we live without an eternal perspective, earthly trials become larger than life. Without the hope of heaven or the sense of the importance of a growing character and refinement, there is nothing to prepare for, nothing to look forward to; it is like practicing and practicing but never getting to actually play a game. Life gets boring, tedious, and tiresome. IF WE ARE SEEKING GLORY, HONOR, AND IMMORTALITY BEFORE GOD, THE ROAD TO GET THERE IS DAILY AND QUIET PERSISTENCE, FAITHFULNESS, AND OBEDIENCE. If we are seeking glory, honor, and immortality
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Gary L. Thomas (Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?)
“
My dear husband Thomas has informed me that I can't walk without natural hip action. The more I slow to adjust my walk, the more my hips determine to swing of their own accord.
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Heather Day Gilbert (Trial by Twelve (A Murder in the Mountains #2))
“
Of course, even that day may come. The idea of mandatory contraception has been bruited about at the state level for drug-abusing or welfare-abusing mothers; and it is not hard to imagine that with the federal government counting on Obamacare cost savings from contraception that it could become as mandatory as having health insurance. And if gay marriage really is a civil right, how long will the federal government allow churches to opt out from respecting it? Obama’s supposed respect for the integrity of religious “sacraments” isn’t worth taking seriously. Under the nanny state of the left, nothing remains “private” for long. Should Obama win a second term, one can imagine his friends at Planned Parenthood calling for forcible sterilizations to “save costs” and gay groups calling for “hate crime” fines to be levied on Catholic priests who refuse to bless gay unions. Already in Canada and Western Europe, nonconformists can be dragged before judges for harboring the “wrong” thoughts. The French actress Brigitte Bardot has been “tried” several times for criticizing Islam. So was the late author Oriana Fallaci, who stood trial in Italy for “defaming Islam.” Do not kid yourselves: it could happen here. In a second term, the Obama administration will bring that day much closer.
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Phyllis Schlafly (No Higher Power: Obama's War on Religious Freedom)
“
One thing the prep for the movie made me realize: Chris and I had gone through a lot in our short time on earth. We’d known war, we’d known the joys of birth--and the tremendous hurt of death. Hard times, defaults, large checks, big taxes, and fame. We’d run the gamut.
And we’d been in love the whole time. The last month of his life was the best of our marriage. The year leading up to it was the best we’d ever had, outside of our first. We’d started on a high level and moved up.
How many people can say that?
I’m not saying the good times would have gone on forever. I’m sure there would have been difficulties and other trials, dark clouds. But to have had those moments of seemingly perfect love and happiness--I was truly blessed.
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Taya Kyle (American Wife: Love, War, Faith, and Renewal)
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Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved.
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Matt Chandler (The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption)
“
Ever since Brenna’s birth shook up everything we thought we knew, God had been reshaping and remolding my heart to discover all the joy and the beauty that this new world was trying to offer us. I opened myself up to this transformation as I faced each new trial and each new triumph… seeking, begging, learning, and finding strength, peace, gratitude, and joy. As we seek, we find. As we ask, we receive. And as we choose, we allow within us. By deliberately seeking joy and choosing joy throughout the challenges and the sickness, I realized that I had begun to find joy even when I wasn’t intentionally looking for it. By seeking to praise God and choosing to praise God within the trials and uncertainty of life, I had begun to find gratitude even when I wasn’t intentionally reaching for it. With a heart filled with joy over anger, peace over anguish, strength over despair, we can then begin to experience a full appreciation for so much of God’s beauty that we may never have considered before. We can build a life of contentment and gratitude as we appreciate and celebrate this different beautiful. Beautiful has very little to do with appearance—or at least as it pertains to hair color and noses and shoes. Beautiful is a way of being and a way of living, each and every day, perhaps each and every moment. Beautiful is joy radiating from your soul. Beautiful can be found everywhere, when we take the time to see it, when we want to see it. Beautiful can be wherever we seek it—in motherhood, in our homes, in our children, in marriage, in ourselves, in our faith, in our emotions, and in our experiences. The world, through God, is giving us all kinds of beautiful. It’s time for us to be brave. It’s time for us to take this different beautiful as it is offered to us and allow it to change us, to make us better, to connect us with others. If we’re going to open our hearts and live a life that celebrates a different beautiful, we need to shake off the unrealistic expectations, unwritten rules, and false definitions of normal that we place upon ourselves or allow others to pile on us. Living a life according to God’s definition of beautiful means ignoring the should-bes and, instead, chasing the could-bes.
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Courtney Westlake (A Different Beautiful: Discovering and Celebrating Beauty in Places You Never Expected)
“
God does not call us to something without equipping us to do it. He faithfully gives us everything we need to walk with Him into the abundant life.
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Angel H. Davis (The Perfecting Storm: Experiencing God's Best Through the Trials of Marriage)
“
The temptation of being desperate, in-search-of, willingness-to-settle, must be addressed and dealt with inside your heart. You’ve already been in a tragic marriage where you thought you had made an intelligent decision to marry many years ago, only to wake up morning after morning, more alone in a bad marriage than you would have ever felt staying single. We are also very familiar with having our growth cut off and living years in servitude or quiet desperation, fear, hopelessness, or numbness, wondering if this is what marriage is all about. Now that you’re divorced, please relax and give yourself time to emotionally calm down, even as hungry and as needy as you are. You are seeking union with someone willing to work with you, work well within the confines of your faults and his/hers, who is willing to communicate easily, and be emotionally available to take it to the next step: emotional/spiritual union. Without all those caveats in place, without those guarantees tested by proof, time, and weathered trials, you might as well stay single. Does that sound too harsh? There is nothing worse than being in a one-sided, miserable, emotionally disconnected marriage.
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Jennifer James
“
What I cant tell you is that everything I intended and pledged in my marriage to a woman I intended and pledged in my marriage to a man. It feels like the same thing, being loved out with the one I love. It has the same trials and tribulations, the same joys and rewards. Marriage calls us to be our best selves, for each other. Marriage is the very human attempt to make a place in one's heart for another - a place so holy as to make it possible to have a love for another at times greater than the love of one's self.
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Gene Robinson (God Believes in Love: Straight Talk About Gay Marriage)
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I’ll stand by you, no matter what happens.” To her surprise and hurt, Steven shook his head. “No. You’re going to Whitneyville, not Louisiana. Until I’ve cleared my name, I won’t have anything to offer you. Besides, what if I’m convicted, and I’m not there to protect you from Macon?” A chill travelled down Emma’s spine, for she knew Steven could just as easily hang as be acquitted, given the fact that his adversary was Macon, a determined man bent on revenge. “If you don’t take me with you,” she said, “I will follow you to New Orleans, and if you don’t believe me, just wait and see. I won’t be left behind, Steven.” A muscle in his jaw bunched in suppressed anger; Steven knew Emma meant what she said. “All right, then, we’ll compromise. We’ll be married when we get to Spokane. That’ll give you some protection against Macon, but remember this, Emma—if they hang me, don’t wait around for the funeral. Macon wasn’t bluffing—the minute the life goes out of me, he’ll take you to bed, whether you want to go or not.” Emma was bruised inside. She was in love, really and truly in love, for the first time in her life. And her marriage might last no longer than a murder trial. Her eyes filled with tears. She embraced Steven even more tightly and looked up into his face. “There’ll be no funeral, Mr. Fairfax,” she said fiercely. “At least, not for forty or fifty years.” He kissed her forehead. “Promise me you’ll leave New Orleans the same day, if the verdict goes against us. I have to know that you won’t even go back to Fairhaven for your things, Emma. Do I have your word?” She nodded, albeit grudgingly. “We’re going to win,” she insisted. “I’m staking everything on that,” Steven replied. And then he kissed Emma thoroughly, and she wanted him to make love to her, right there where they stood.
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Linda Lael Miller (Emma And The Outlaw (Orphan Train, #2))
“
Love and Marriage Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. EPHESIANS 5:21 NIV Young couples often approach marriage thinking that their love will survive anything. Then when the first trial tests their faith and endurance, their love crumbles. Author and aviator Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Such is the goal of a couple committed to Christ. Admit it: marriage is work. Yet God unites two people for a common purpose—to lift one up when the other falls, to give instead of receive, to exercise the art of compromise and understanding. On the other hand, a loveless marriage is one based on self-absorption or selfishness on the part of one or both individuals. The love that once attracted us to our spouse isn’t the love that sustains our marriage. Rather, God’s love prevails in the lives of the couple who choose to, in mutual submission, place Christ first. The above scripture indicates that submission applies to both men and women, yet Paul goes on to exhort women to submit to their husbands—for as a woman submits or respects her husband, he, in turn, loves his wife (Ephesians 5:22–28). The result? A man and woman united in faith, traveling in the same direction. Father, help me become the helpmate You intended. Guide me to live a submissive life to You first and then my husband. May we both follow Your lead, not our own. Amen.
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Anonymous (Daily Wisdom for Women - 2014: 2014 Devotional Collection)
“
When through fiery trials, thy pathway shall lie, My grace all-sufficient will be thy supply. For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.4 This book, therefore, is for those spouses who have
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Timothy J. Keller (The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God)
“
Homer Loomis was on trial in February 1947. Despite the establishment pedigree of a prep-school diploma and admission to the Ivy League, Loomis had managed to be expelled from Princeton and blow apart two marriages. Still in his early thirties, he had headed South in 1946 to reinvent himself as a white supremacist. He joined forces in Atlanta with a Ku Klux Klan veteran to form a uniformed, goose-stepping troop dubbed the Columbians.
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Samuel G. Freedman (Into the Bright Sunshine: Young Hubert Humphrey and the Fight for Civil Rights (PIVOTAL MOMENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY))
“
She should have taken a moment to do this little thing. Why had it skipped her mind?
With that small question, an answer crept to attention. “You were unpacking and putting your kitchen together. You were making dinner. For your husband. You were fixing your hair and putting on makeup to please him when he came home. Then, you were distracted and went to set the table for dinner…
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Lynn Byk (The Fearless Moral Inventory of Elsie Finch)
“
Well, you didn’t. Instead, you borderline tortured a man about his fucking dead brother. You found a wound, stuck a knife in, and amused yourself as you slowly started twisting. He isn’t on trial here for murder, he was trying to be agreeable as best he could. But do you think he will help now?
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Jeneva Rose (The Perfect Marriage (Perfect, #1))
“
Lord, I pray You will protect us from anything that could harm or destroy our marriage. When trials persist, bring us out with a stronger marriage and faith. Let nothing come into our hearts, minds, and actions that could threaten our marriage.
”
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Kaylene Yoder (40 Scripture-based Prayers to Pray Over Your Wife)
“
The Reformation has changed the moral ideal, and elevated domestic and social life. The mediaeval ideal of piety is rhe flight from the evil world: the modern ideal is the transformation of the world. The model saint of the Roman Catholic is the monk separated from the enjoyments and duties of society...: the model of the saint of the Evangelical Church is the free Christian and useful citizen, who shows his piety in the performance of social and domestic duties, and aims at the sanctification of the ordinances of nature. The former tries to conquer the world by running away from its temptations -though after all he cannot escape the flesh, the world and the Devil in his own heart: the latter tries to conquer the world by converting it...The one flees from woman as a tempter: the other takes her into his heart, and reflects in the marriage relation the holy union of Christ with his Church. The one aims to secure chastity by abstinence: the other proves it in his family. The one renounces all earthly processions: the other uses them for the good of his fellow-men...The daily duties and trials of domestic and social life are a better school of moral discipline than monkish celibacy and poverty. Female virtues and graces are necessary to supplement and round out rhe character of man. Exceptions there are, but they prove the rule.
”
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Philip Schaff (History of the Christian Church: Modern Christianity: The German Reformation (Vol. 7))
“
The Reformation has changed the moral ideal, and elevated domestic and social life. The mediaeval ideal of piety is the flight from the evil world: the modern ideal is the transformation of the world. The model saint of the Roman Catholic is the monk separated from the enjoyments and duties of society...: the model of the saint of the Evangelical Church is the free Christian and useful citizen, who shows his piety in the performance of social and domestic duties, and aims at the sanctification of the ordinances of nature. The former tries to conquer the world by running away from its temptations -though after all he cannot escape the flesh, the world and the Devil in his own heart: the latter tries to conquer the world by converting it...The one flees from woman as a tempter: the other takes her into his heart, and reflects in the marriage relation the holy union of Christ with his Church. The one aims to secure chastity by abstinence: the other proves it in his family. The one renounces all earthly processions: the other uses them for the good of his fellow-men...The daily duties and trials of domestic and social life are a better school of moral discipline than monkish celibacy and poverty. Female virtues and graces are necessary to supplement and round out the character of man. Exceptions there are, but they prove the rule.
”
”
Philip Schaff (History of the Christian Church: Modern Christianity: The German Reformation (Vol. 7))
“
The Reformation has changed the moral ideal, and elevated domestic and social life. The medieval ideal of piety is the flight from the evil world: the modern ideal is the transformation of the world. The model saint of the Roman Catholic is the monk separated from the enjoyments and duties of society...: the model of the saint of the Evangelical Church is the free Christian and useful citizen, who shows his piety in the performance of social and domestic duties, and aims at the sanctification of the ordinances of nature. The former tries to conquer the world by running away from its temptations -though after all he cannot escape the flesh, the world and the Devil in his own heart: the latter tries to conquer the world by converting it...The one flees from woman as a tempter: the other takes her into his heart, and reflects in the marriage relation the holy union of Christ with his Church. The one aims to secure chastity by abstinence: the other proves it in his family. The one renounces all earthly possessions: the other uses them for the good of his fellow-men...The daily duties and trials of domestic and social life are a better school of moral discipline than monkish celibacy and poverty. Female virtues and graces are necessary to supplement and round out the character of man. Exceptions there are, but they prove the rule.
”
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Philip Schaff (History of the Christian Church: Modern Christianity: The German Reformation (Vol. 7))
“
The same conclusion could be made about marriage. Every marriage has sorrows. Every marriage has trials. There isn’t a shared bedroom in this country where tension doesn’t occasionally or perhaps frequently lift its snarling head. Many a pillow has been a solemn receptacle for soul-felt tears, cried late at night or even all throughout the day. We don’t get to choose which sorrows or trials we are called to bear, only that we must endure them.
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Gary L. Thomas (Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?)
“
The Change' marked, in the mind of Mrs Touchet, the final hurdle in the ladies' steeplechase: The humiliation of girlhood. The separating of the beautiful from the plain and the ugly. The terror of maidenhood. The trials of marriage or childbirth--or their absence. The loss of that same beauty around which the whole system appears to revolve. The change of life. What strange lives women lead!
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Zadie Smith (The Fraud)
“
This time of spiritual desolation is a trial. Consider this difficult experience on the level of faith, where its truth is revealed. Your spiritual desolation this day, this evening, in this time of prayer, at home, at work, is a trial that the Lord, who loves you and whose providence guides your life, has permitted you to undergo (see Acts 14:22). Reflect that this burdensome time has meaning within God’s loving design for you, that it is not useless pain.
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Timothy M. Gallagher (Discernment of Spirits in Marriage: Ignatian Wisdom for Husbands and Wives)
“
As important and revolutionary as these things were, it was Joseph Smith's teachings on marriage that had a more visible and far-reaching effect on William Clayton's life than anything else he learned in Nauvoo. Two doctrines, “eternal marriage" and "plural marriage," went hand-in-hand, and Clayton learned of them during the last two years of his association with the prophet.
Why would the straitlaced, idealistic William Clayton, who was almost overly concerned with what people thought of him, seriously consider the practice of plural marriage when it so clearly violated all his earlier values as well as the morality and sensibilities of the society in which he lived? He had a good marriage with Ruth Moon, which had endured considerable adversity. He was also close to her family. By the time the doctrine of polygamy was presented to him Ruth had borne three children and on February 17, 1843, just two months before his second marriage, she presented him with his first son. It was no lack of love or compatibility that led him to take additional wives. The most compelling factor was his single-minded conviction that whatever Joseph Smith told him to do was right and that he must spare no pains to accomplish it. At the same time, it is clear that his affection for Sarah Crooks of Manchester was still there, and once he was convinced that the principle was true, it was only natural that he should think of her as a possible second wife.
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James B. Allen (Trials of Discipleship: The Story of William Clayton, a Mormon Pioneer)
“
The onlookers had seen not three men in the fire, but four. God hadn’t taken them out of the fiery trial. He’d walked with them through it.
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Jody Hedlund (A Cowboy for Keeps (Colorado Cowboys, #1))
“
You, Bria, are his vocation, just as you, Jonah, are Bria’s vocation. It is through your marriage that you will feel most clearly God’s love and trials. There is no love without sacrifice, and on this day you must each die to yourself and place the other person before you. While this is an important truth for Bria, and all brides, I believe it to be even more true for Jonah, and all grooms. They are called to be like Christ, to offer their bodies for their brides. They are called to sacrifice in a way that an unmarried man like myself will never fully understand.
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”
Jacqueline Brown (The Light Series Box Set: The Complete Light Series)
“
A three year journey
has caused us suffering and pain
but we have grown stronger,
bound together by patience, determination,
trials, pain, perseverance, suffering, and love.
When I say, “I love you”
this part is bound up into that statement.
This is has been trial by fire,
purification by fire, our love is gold.
”
”
Eric Overby (Legacy)
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...Kellen, it’s all just trial and error and making up your mind to live with a shitload of errors.” “Thank you for ripping the romanticism right out of love and crushing it,” Kellen said dryly. “Well, there’s good things about loving someone too. If you pick the right one, you’ll know you have someone to stand beside you no matter what life throws your way. It’s all peaks and valleys. That’s what marriage is. You’re stuck in a rotation of loving someone with all your heart and wanting to smother them with a pillow. It gets better when you’re older because you’re too tired to start over, plus prison isn’t a good place for a woman in her seventies.” Kellen smiled at Trulee. “I don’t know if you realize this or not, but you’re steadily talking me out of wanting to fall in love.” “Let’s deal in reality, honey. If you and Stevie have a long life together, she will eventually have the desire to smother you. Sleep with one eye open, and don’t dry your socks in the microwave like your uncle did this morning. The damn thing smells like a pickle sweltering on fresh asphalt in August. I couldn’t even rewarm my coffee in it. I’m not a good person to talk to about love right now because I’m definitely on the wanting to smother side of the rotation.” “So you’re saying my problem with having to tell Walt might be resolved by tomorrow morning after you’ve smothered him?” Kellen asked with a laugh. “Maybe by this afternoon, Walt does like to take a nap after a fishing trip.” Trulee laughed, too, and bumped Kellen with her shoulder. “Think about this, too. You won’t only want to smother Stevie, you’re gonna want to take a pillow to everyone in her family. The saying ‘you marry your in-laws’ is very true.” “Whew, that’s a sobering thought.” “You hang on to those sobering thoughts for dear life. No one is completely perfect, we all come with baggage. I’d been married to Walt a few months when I learned he enjoyed yodeling, and he wasn’t even any good at it. That was the first little bag he unpacked, the second was full of belches and farts. I started unpacking my bags, too, and one of them had my momma in it. I had her over to the house all the time because I missed her. I have only encountered Joan Sealy twice, and if Stevie unpacks her, you’d better have a pillow handy.” Kellen grinned. “Stop it.
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Robin Alexander (Kellen's Moment)
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If we live without an eternal perspective, earthly trials become larger than life. Without the hope of heaven or the sense of the importance of a growing character and refinement, there is nothing to prepare for, nothing to look forward to; it is like practicing and practicing but never getting to actually play a game. Life gets boring, tedious, and tiresome.
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Gary L. Thomas (Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?)
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Eleanor was an extremely determined woman, and Henry an extremely determined man. Like flint and steel, they struck sparks. And yet, even after fourteen years of marriage, sexual fires still burned. There was more lightness than heat in their banter.
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Dave Duncan (Trial by Treason (The Enchanter General, #2))
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Many choose to become Christians because they think it will make life easier. Jesus warned that it would actually make life far more difficult (Luke 14:25-35). Paul promised the same: “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim. 3:12). God has called us to far more than attending church services and raising nice children. We are in a race, a fight, a war. Those who decide to follow Jesus have signed themselves up for a life of suffering. The solution is not to dodge trials but to persevere through them
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Francis Chan (You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity)
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Flow Fusion ME
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(The same June court session also annulled Ralph and Katherine Ellenwood’s marriage due to his “insuffiency.” Katherine declared that she “would rather die than live with this man,” whereas Ralph was reported to have blamed his problem on the presence of witches in the neighborhood.)
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Marilynne K. Roach (Six Women of Salem: The Untold Story of the Accused and Their Accusers in the Salem Witch Trials)
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Being a Christian woman does not promise you a smooth sailing neither does it promise a life without calamities. It does not guarantee a life where, when one desires a husband, she'll be granted one immediately. It does not provide an escape from marriage trials nor prevent the prodigality of the kids.
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Ntombizodwa Siyaya (Meeting Mr Right)