“
It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.
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”
Roy T. Bennett
“
Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.
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Bernard Branson
“
Whenever I am in a difficult situation where there seems to be no way out, I think about all the times I have been in such situations and say to myself, "I did it before, so I can do it again.
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”
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
When you work on something that only has the capacity to make you 5 dollars, it does not matter how much harder you work – the most you will make is 5 dollars.
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Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
Faith moves mountains, love transforms hearts.
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”
John Paul Warren
“
There are many goals but one path - the path of compassion.
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”
Amit Ray (Nonviolence: The Transforming Power)
“
Today is a new day and it brings with it a new set of opportunities for me to act on.
I am attentive to the opportunities and I seize them as they arise.
I have full confidence in myself and my abilities.
I can do all things that I commit myself to.
No obstacle is too big or too difficult for me to handle because what lies inside me is greater than what lies ahead of me.
I am committed to improving myself and I am getting better daily.
I am not held back by regret or mistakes from the past.
I am moving forward daily.
Absolutely nothing is impossible for me.
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
Now, more than ever, the world needs transformational leaders not to cultivate change for its own sake, but to lead through the inevitable evolutions in business and human society.
”
”
Hendrith Vanlon Smith Jr. (Board Room Blitz: Mastering the Art of Corporate Governance)
“
Truly powerful people have great humility. They do not try to impress, they do not try to be influential. They simply are. People are magnetically drawn to them. They are most often very silent and focused, aware of their core selves. ... They never persuade, nor do they use manipulation or aggressiveness to get their way. They listen. If there is anything they can offer to assist you, they offer it; if not, they are silent.
”
”
Sanaya Roman (Living with Joy: Keys to Personal Power and Spiritual Transformation)
“
It is not until you change your identity to match your life blueprint that you will understand why everything in the past never worked.
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”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Live your life in such a way that you'll be remembered for your kindness, compassion, fairness, character, benevolence, and a force for good who had much respect for life, in general.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Advice to my younger self:
1 Start where you are with what you have
2 Try not to hurt other people
3 Take more chances
4 If you fail, keep trying
”
”
Germany Kent
“
The first follower is actually an underestimated form of leadership in itself. … The first follower is what transforms a lone nut into a leader.
”
”
Derek Sivers
“
need to let go of the need to be in control.
”
”
Charlene Li (Open Leadership: How Social Technology Can Transform the Way You Lead)
“
When you can truly understand how others experience your behavior, without defending or judging, you then have the ability to produce a breakthrough in your leadership and team. Everything starts with your self-awareness. You cannot take charge without taking accountability, and you cannot take accountability without understanding how you avoid it.
”
”
Loretta Malandro (Fearless Leadership: How to Overcome Behavioral Blindspots and Transform Your Organization)
“
Pivoting is not the end of the disruption process, but the beginning of the next leg of your journey.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Vision without action is a daydream, but action without vision is a nightmare.
”
”
Kaihan Krippendorff
“
Seven Ways To Get Ahead in Business:
1. Be forward thinking
2. Be inventive, and daring
3. Do the right thing
4. Be honest and straight forward
5. Be willing to change, to learn, to grow
6. Work hard and be yourself
7. Lead by example
”
”
Germany Kent
“
No obstacle is so big that one person with determination can't make a difference.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Great ideas don’t die in the market, they die in the shower. People are too scared to pursue them because they appear crazy.
”
”
Kaihan Krippendorff
“
Learn to master your thoughts and watch closely what you deposit into your spirit. Speak over your life. Living in peace has transformative power.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Management makes a system work. It helps you do what you know how to do. Leadership builds systems or transforms old ones.
”
”
John P. Kotter (Leading Change)
“
There is an absolute need for organizations to innovate, grow, transform, and reinvent themselves faster than ever before.
”
”
Kaihan Krippendorff
“
It is not blindly pushing your own agenda that will enrich the world. It’s is your ability and willingness to understand, appreciate, anticipate, address, serve and support the lives of others that will.
”
”
Rasheed Ogunlaru
“
Don’t blame others. it won’t make you a better person.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
Arming employees with the tools, know-how, and mindset needed to successfully innovate on a continual basis will be paramount to organizational survival.
”
”
Kaihan Krippendorff
“
Libertarian action must recognize this dependence as a weak point and must attempt through reflection and action to transform it into independence. However, not even the best-intentioned leadership can bestow independence as a gift. The liberation of the oppressed is a liberation of women and men, not things. Accordingly, while no one liberates himself by his own efforts alone, neither is he liberated by others. Liberation, a human phenomenon, cannot be achieved by semihumans. Any attempt to treat people as semihumans only dehumanizes them.
”
”
Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)
“
The real challenge is for each of us to determine where we feel we can make the most impact.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
A winning mindset can transform an underdog into a champion, conqueror, and achiever. You’re a mindset away from winning your battles!
”
”
Assegid Habtewold (The 9 Cardinal Building Blocks: For continued success in leadership)
“
Innovation is a learned organizational capability. You must train people how to innovate and navigate organizational barriers that kill off good ideas before they can be tested.
”
”
Kaihan Krippendorff
“
FORGIVE FAILURE. The corollary to accountability is forgiveness. Things go wrong all the time in relationships, and the healthiest ones move on from them, leaving behind grudges and blame. This is not to say that failure is accepted; rather, that it is acknowledged and understood.
”
”
Charlene Li (Open Leadership: How Social Technology Can Transform the Way You Lead)
“
Lifelong learning is no longer a luxury but a necessity for employment.
”
”
Jay Samit
“
Disruptors don't have to discover something new; they just have to discover a practical use for new discoveries.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is that successful ones know that the most unprofitable thing ever manufactured is an excuse.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Don’t set your own goals by what other people make important.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
The bigger the victory, the bigger the battle. Still, be the light and a change agent for healing, restoration and transformation.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
At the heart of all sales and marketing is the ability to create demand even in the absence of logic.
”
”
Jay Samit
“
Becoming a great leader doesn’t mean being perfect. it means living with your imperfections.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
Many people spend more time looking at their failures than focusing on their successes.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
Greatness means setting out to make some difference somewhere to someone in someplace.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
Living in peace has transformative power!
”
”
Germany Kent
“
If you never try, you'll never know. You are what you manifest.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
The first follower is what transforms a lone nut into a leader." - Quoting Derek Sivers
”
”
Adam M. Grant (Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World)
“
All the best apps, companies, and products have broken the way we live life, transformed how we communicate, and changed our day-to-day. Good products evolve us. You’re
”
”
Gary Vaynerchuk (#AskGaryVee: One Entrepreneur's Take on Leadership, Social Media, and Self-Awareness)
“
You have a choice: pursue your dreams, or be hired by someone else to help them fulfill their dreams.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Every threat to the status quo is an opportunity in disguise.
”
”
Jay Samit
“
All businesses -- no matter if they make dog food or software -- don't sell products, they sell solutions.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Do not allow your inner doubts to keep you from achieving what you can do.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
Employees in large, older firms often have difficulty getting a transformation process started because of the lack of leadership coupled with arrogance, insularity, and bureaucracy.
”
”
John P. Kotter (Leading Change)
“
Why have the writings of the prophets endured? Because they fearlessly speak truth to power. They call out the injustice and oppression of the system gone wrong. They hold those in leadership accountable for the decisions they make.
”
”
Rob Bell (What Is the Bible?: How an Ancient Library of Poems, Letters, and Stories Can Transform the Way You Think and Feel About Everything)
“
When leaders die to pushing their own agendas and realize that leadership is the act of dying to self, those around them are profoundly transformed. Selfless leadership opens a space for God to flow into.
”
”
Mark Sayers (Facing Leviathan: Leadership, Influence, and Creating in a Cultural Storm)
“
transformation begins with the individual” Dr William Edwards Deming
The New Economics - 1993
”
”
Priyavrat Thareja
“
One of the most significant barriers to progress is the lack of effective leadership.
”
”
Ken Jennings (The Serving Leader: Five Powerful Actions to Transform Your Team, Business, and Community)
“
Leaders motivate people to understand that they can do better than they’ve already done and go farther than they’ve reached.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor (Leaders' Ladder)
“
Insight and drive are all the skills you need. Everything else can be hired.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
You'll never know how close you are to victory if you give up.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
No one who ever led a nation got there by following the path of another.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Your energy is a valuable resource, distribute it wisely.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Starting each day with a positive mindset is the most important step of your journey to discovering opportunity.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
It is not incumbent on the world to conform to your vision of change. It is up to you to explain the future in terms that those living in the past and present can follow.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Success doesn't teach as many lessons as failure
”
”
Jay Samit
“
Speed to fail should be every entrepreneur's motto. When you finally find the one idea that can't be killed, go with it.
”
”
Jay Samit
“
The most important tool you have on a resume is language.
”
”
Jay Samit
“
To be successful, innovation is not just about value creation, but value capture.
”
”
Jay Samit (Disrupt You!: Master Personal Transformation, Seize Opportunity, and Thrive in the Era of Endless Innovation)
“
Attendance on Sundays does not transform lives; Jesus within their hearts is what changes people.
”
”
Neil Cole (Organic Church: Growing Faith Where Life Happens (Jossey-Bass Leadership Network Series))
“
Practice transforms a skill into an art
”
”
Siddharth Joshi
“
Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead.
”
”
Brené Brown (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead)
“
Focus on how far you have come in life
rather than looking at the accomplishments of others.
”
”
Lolly Daskal (The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness)
“
To reach the stars of your dream, you need to take a brand-new path, overcome the challenges of life and rise above the horizon like a new sun.
”
”
Amit Ray (Power of Exponential Mindset for Success and Leadership)
“
Truly, the best thing any of us have to bring to leadership is our own transforming selves.
”
”
Ruth Haley Barton (Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry)
“
Leaders don’t call unhappy followers “ungrateful people”. They see them as “lesson teachers”. They find out why they are unhappy; perhaps it could be as a result of their attitudes. That informs them to change!
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor (Leaders' Ladder)
“
By setting clear agendas, facilitating participation, leveraging technology, and maintaining strong communication, boards can transform meetings into strategic forums that propel the company towards long-term success.
”
”
Hendrith Vanlon Smith Jr. (Board Room Blitz: Mastering the Art of Corporate Governance)
“
We lead more out of who we are than out of what we do, strategic or otherwise. If we fail to recognize that who we are on the inside informs every aspect of our leadership, we will do damage to ourselves and to those we lead.
”
”
Peter Scazzero (The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World)
“
The U.S. Navy SEAL Teams were at the forefront of this leadership transformation, emerging from the triumphs and tragedies of war with a crystallized understanding of what it takes to succeed in the most challenging environments that combat presents.
”
”
Jocko Willink (Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win)
“
When we look at the world through the lens of how, we see leaders shift, and others even transform, their habits of leadership from “command and control” to “connect and collaborate.” It’s a move from exerting power over people to generating waves through them.
”
”
Dov Seidman (How: Why How We Do Anything Means Everything)
“
If we unite, we can surmount any mountain and make things happen for the betterment of all.
”
”
Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha (Leadership Torch)
“
Don't focus on the numbers. Trust the process. When you keep doing things the right way, eventually the numbers will rise, the wins will come, and the outcome will happen.
”
”
Jon Gordon (The Power of Positive Leadership: How and Why Positive Leaders Transform Teams and Organizations and Change the World (Jon Gordon))
“
The keyword here is TRANSFORMATION, which made me be who I am and communicate these words to you.
”
”
Mwanandeke Kindembo (Destiny of Liberty)
“
Their greatest fear is you may step forward without fear.
Because your courage may become contagious.
”
”
Tom Althouse (The Frowny Face Cow)
“
The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions. ANTHONY JAY
”
”
David Rock (Quiet Leadership: Six Steps to Transforming Performance at Work)
“
Leaders inform, inspire and improve people. They educate, empower and enrich the value of their followers. They make impacts.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor (Leaders' Ladder)
“
The leader who listens is the one society needs most. They don’t force their commands on people. They pay attention to their demands and set the pace for the change that society truly needs.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor (Leaders' Ladder)
“
the working definition of leadership we are using here: Energizing a community of people toward their own transformation in order to accomplish a shared mission in the face of a changing world.
”
”
Tod Bolsinger (Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory)
“
Seth Godin writes, “Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable.…It’s uncomfortable to stand up in front of strangers. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. It’s uncomfortable to challenge the status quo. It’s uncomfortable to resist the urge to settle. When you identify the discomfort, you’ve found the place where a leader is needed. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.
”
”
Brené Brown (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead)
“
Many supporters believe--or want to believe--that Obama will be a transformative political leader in a transformative time. They eagerly await the flowering of peace and social justice policies that will open a new chapter in the abatement of "the structural inequalities that our nation's legacy of discrimination has left behind." Whether Obama, carrying the weight of race on his shoulders in a manner no other United States president ever has, will provide leadership and initiative on these issues is yet to be seen. At every opportunity, we should remind him to try.
”
”
Clarence Lusane (The Black History of the White House)
“
It is often questioned whether one person alone can transform the whole system. In reality, only one person can transform and create change. Of course, team effort makes the change possible. Yet, the whole process of change begins with that one person who created the change — the transformational leader.
”
”
Radhakrishnan Pillai (Chanakya’s 7 Secrets of Leadership)
“
Leaders are made not born. They are the results of persistent effort. Thus, leadership involves much more than just shouting. Effective leadership requires a human focus and reflects a servant and transformation mentality. It is about the nuts and bolts of execution. Leadership is an everyday activity. It is a process that begins but never ends.
”
”
Vishwas Chavan (VishwaSutras: Universal Principles For Living: Inspired by Real-Life Experiences)
“
As theologian David F. Wells states so powerfully, We have turned to a God that we can use rather than a God we must obey; we have turned to a God who will fulfill our needs rather than to a God before whom we must surrender our rights to ourselves. He is a God for us and for our satisfaction, and we have come to assume that it must be so in the church as well. And so we transform the God of mercy into a God who is at our mercy. We imagine that he is benign, that he will acquiesce as we toy with his reality and co-opt him in the promotion of our ventures and careers.
”
”
R. Albert Mohler Jr. (The Conviction to Lead: 25 Principles for Leadership That Matters)
“
The Truth Is That Challenge Is the Crucible for Greatness. The study of leadership is the study of how men and women guide people through uncertainty, hardship, disruption, transformation, transition, recovery, new beginnings, and other significant challenges. It’s also the study of how men and women, in times of constancy and complacency, actively seek to disturb the status quo, awaken new possibilities, and pursue opportunities.
”
”
James M. Kouzes (The Truth about Leadership: The No-fads, Heart-of-the-Matter Facts You Need to Know)
“
In what is known as the 70/20/10 learning concept, Robert Eichinger and Michael Lombardo, in collaboration with Morgan McCall of the Center for Creative Leadership, explain that 70 percent of learning and development takes place from real-life and on-the-job experiences, tasks, and problem solving; 20 percent of the time development comes from other people through informal or formal feedback, mentoring, or coaching; and 10 percent of learning and development comes from formal training.
”
”
Marcia Conner (The New Social Learning: A Guide to Transforming Organizations Through Social Media)
“
term Lean was coined by John Krafcik in a 1988 article based on his master’s thesis at MIT Sloan School of Management1 and then popularized in The Machine that Changed the World and Lean Thinking. Lean Thinking summarized Womack and Jones’s findings from studying how Toyota operates, an approach that was spearheaded by Taiichi Ohno, codified by Shigeo Shingo, and strongly influenced by the work of W. Edwards Deming, Joseph Juran, Henry Ford, and U.S. grocery stores. Lean Thinking framed Toyota’s
”
”
Karen Martin (Value Stream Mapping: How to Visualize Work and Align Leadership for Organizational Transformation)
“
How to Survive Racism in an Organization that Claims to be Antiracist:
10. Ask why they want you. Get as much clarity as possible on what the organization has read about you, what they understand about you, what they assume are your gifts and strengths. What does the organization hope you will bring to the table? Do those answers align with your reasons for wanting to be at the table?
9. Define your terms. You and the organization may have different definitions of words like "justice", "diveristy", or "antiracism". Ask for definitions, examples, or success stories to give you a better idea of how the organization understands and embodies these words. Also ask about who is in charge and who is held accountable for these efforts. Then ask yourself if you can work within the structure.
8. Hold the organization to the highest vision they committed to for as long as you can. Be ready to move if the leaders aren't prepared to pursue their own stated vision.
7. Find your people. If you are going to push back against the system or push leadership forward, it's wise not to do so alone. Build or join an antiracist cohort within the organization.
6. Have mentors and counselors on standby. Don't just choose a really good friend or a parent when seeking advice. It's important to have on or two mentors who can give advice based on their personal knowledge of the organization and its leaders. You want someone who can help you navigate the particular politics of your organization.
5. Practice self-care. Remember that you are a whole person, not a mule to carry the racial sins of the organization. Fall in love, take your children to the park, don't miss doctors' visits, read for pleasure, dance with abandon, have lots of good sex, be gentle with yourself.
4. Find donors who will contribute to the cause. Who's willing to keep the class funded, the diversity positions going, the social justice center operating? It's important for the organization to know the members of your cohort aren't the only ones who care. Demonstrate that there are stakeholders, congregations members, and donors who want to see real change.
3. Know your rights. There are some racist things that are just mean, but others are against the law. Know the difference, and keep records of it all.
2. Speak. Of course, context matters. You must be strategic about when, how, to whom, and about which situations you decide to call out. But speak. Find your voice and use it.
1. Remember: You are a creative being who is capable of making change. But it is not your responsibility to transform an entire organization.
”
”
Austin Channing Brown (I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness)
“
Could I see that God wanted to transform my life from a somewhat ugly, useless branch to an arrow, a tool usable in His hands, for the furtherance of His purposes?....To be thus transformed, was I willing - am I till willing - for the whittling, sandpapering, stripping, processes necessary in my Christian life? The ruthless pulling off of leaves and flowers might include doing without a television set or washing machine, remaining single in order to see a job done, re-evaluating the worthiness of the ambition to be a "good" doctor (according to my terms an values). The snapping of thorns might include drastic dealing with hidden jealousies and unknown prides, giving up prized rights in leadership and administration. The final stripping of the bark might include lessons to be learned regarding death to self - self-defence,self-pity, self-justification, self-vinidication, self-sufficiency, all the mechanisms of preventing the hurt of too deep involvment. Am I prepared for the pain, which may at times seem like sacrifice, in order to be made a tool in His service? My willingness will be a measure of the sincerity of my desire to express my heartfelt gratitude to Him for his so-great salvation. Can I see such minor "sacrifices" in light of the great sacrifice of Calvary, where Christ gave all for me?
”
”
Helen Roseveare (Living Sacrifice: Willing to be Whittled as an Arrow)
“
...Des felt a familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. All soldiers felt the same thing going into battle, whether they admitted it or not: fear. Fear of failure, fear of dying, fear of watching their friends die, fear of being wounded and living out the rest of their days crippled or maimed. The fear was always there, and it would devour you if you let it.
Des knew how to turn that fear to his own advantage. Take what makes you weak and turn it into something that makes you strong. Transform the fear into anger and hate: hatred of the enemy; hatred of the Republic and the Jedi. The hate gave him strength, and the strength brought him victory.
For Des the transformation came easily once the fighting started. Thanks to his abusive father, he'd been turning fear into anger and hate ever since he was a child. Maybe that was why he was such a good soldier. Maybe that was why the others looked to him for leadership.
”
”
Drew Karpyshyn (Path of Destruction (Star Wars: Darth Bane #1))
“
Another great example of the power of vulnerability -- this time in a corporation -- is the leadership approach taken by Lululemon's CEO, Christine Day. In a video interview with CNN Money, Day explained that she was once a very bright, smart executive who "majored in being right." Her transformation came when she realized that getting people to engage and take ownership wasn't about "the teling" but about letting them come into the idea in a purpose-led way, and that her job was creating the space for others to perform. She chracterized this change as the shift from "having the best idea or problem solving" to "being the best leader of people.
”
”
Brené Brown (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead)
“
To generate an enduring peace, we will each have to continue to make progress as Christ conscious leaders, becoming increasingly aware of our unity with others and expanding our ability to receive Divine Love and be a vehicle for Divine Love. We will each have to detach from any impediments in our tribes, our families, and our own self-will that deter us from a commitment to fulfill God’s purpose in our lives, to do our work, and to continue our lifelong transformation as Christ conscious leaders. And we will have to come to realize that, in partnership with the Eternal Absolute, we each have the power – and the
calling – to build the kingdom of God on earth.
”
”
Barbara Benjamin (Christ Conscious Leadership)
“
We have no obligation to endure or enable certain types of certain toxic relationships. The Christian ethic muddies these waters because we attach the concept of long-suffering to these damaging connections. We prioritize proximity over health, neglecting good boundaries and adopting a Savior role for which we are ill-equipped.
Who else we'll deal with her?, we say. Meanwhile, neither of you moves towards spiritual growth. She continues toxic patterns and you spiral in frustration, resentment and fatigue.
Come near, dear one, and listen. You are not responsible for the spiritual health of everyone around you. Nor must you weather the recalcitrant behavior of others. It is neither kind nor gracious to enable. We do no favors for an unhealthy friend by silently enduring forever. Watching someone create chaos without accountability is not noble. You won't answer for the destructive habits of an unsafe person. You have a limited amount of time and energy and must steward it well. There is a time to stay the course and a time to walk away.
There's a tipping point when the effort becomes useless, exhausting beyond measure. You can't pour antidote into poison forever and expect it to transform into something safe, something healthy. In some cases, poison is poison and the only sane response is to quit drinking it.
This requires honest self evaluation, wise counselors, the close leadership of the Holy Spirit, and a sober assessment of reality. Ask, is the juice worth the squeeze here. And, sometimes, it is. You might discover signs of possibility through the efforts, or there may be necessary work left and it's too soon to assess. But when an endless amount of blood, sweat and tears leaves a relationship unhealthy, when there is virtually no redemption, when red flags are frantically waved for too long, sometimes the healthiest response is to walk away.
When we are locked in a toxic relationship, spiritual pollution can murder everything tender and Christ-like in us. And a watching world doesn't always witness those private kill shots. Unhealthy relationships can destroy our hope, optimism, gentleness. We can lose our heart and lose our way while pouring endless energy into an abyss that has no bottom. There is a time to put redemption in the hands of God and walk away before destroying your spirit with futile diligence.
”
”
Jen Hatmaker (For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards)
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being picked on, was very painful, but it made me a better person. It instilled in me a lifelong hatred for bullies and sympathy for their victims. Some of the most satisfying work I did as a prosecutor, in fact, was putting bullies of all kinds in jail, freeing good people from their tyranny. After my experience in college, I was never going to surrender to the group again simply because it was easy. And I was going to make sure my life had some meaning, because I’d already seen how fleeting life could be. CHAPTER 4 MEANING I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. —HERMANN HESSE I HAVE WORKED with great men over the years, but two of my most important teachers about life and leadership were women. In 1993, after my work on the Gambino trial ended, I kept my promise to Patrice and we moved our family to Richmond, a place where we had few
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James Comey (A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership)
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The former South African archbishop Desmond Tutu used to famously say, “We are prisoners of hope.” Such a statement might be taken as merely rhetorical or even eccentric if you hadn’t seen Bishop Tutu stare down the notorious South African Security Police when they broke into the Cathedral of St. George’s during his sermon at an ecumenical service. I was there and have preached about the dramatic story of his response more times than I can count. The incident taught me more about the power of hope than any other moment of my life. Desmond Tutu stopped preaching and just looked at the intruders as they lined the walls of his cathedral, wielding writing pads and tape recorders to record whatever he said and thereby threatening him with consequences for any bold prophetic utterances. They had already arrested Tutu and other church leaders just a few weeks before and kept them in jail for several days to make both a statement and a point: Religious leaders who take on leadership roles in the struggle against apartheid will be treated like any other opponents of the Pretoria regime. After meeting their eyes with his in a steely gaze, the church leader acknowledged their power (“You are powerful, very powerful”) but reminded them that he served a higher power greater than their political authority (“But I serve a God who cannot be mocked!”). Then, in the most extraordinary challenge to political tyranny I have ever witnessed, Archbishop Desmond Tutu told the representatives of South African apartheid, “Since you have already lost, I invite you today to come and join the winning side!” He said it with a smile on his face and enticing warmth in his invitation, but with a clarity and a boldness that took everyone’s breath away. The congregation’s response was electric. The crowd was literally transformed by the bishop’s challenge to power. From a cowering fear of the heavily armed security forces that surrounded the cathedral and greatly outnumbered the band of worshipers, we literally leaped to our feet, shouted the praises of God and began…dancing. (What is it about dancing that enacts and embodies the spirit of hope?) We danced out of the cathedral to meet the awaiting police and military forces of apartheid who hardly expected a confrontation with dancing worshipers. Not knowing what else to do, they backed up to provide the space for the people of faith to dance for freedom in the streets of South Africa.
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Jim Wallis (God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It)
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You may not recognize the name Steven Schussler, CEO of Schussler Creative Inc., but you are probably familiar with his very popular theme restaurant Rainforest Café. Steve is one of the scrappiest people I know, with countless scrappy stories. He is open and honest about his wins and losses. This story about how he launched Rainforest Café is one of my favorites: Steve first envisioned a tropical-themed family restaurant back in the 1980s, but unfortunately, he couldn’t persuade anyone else to buy into the idea at the time. Not willing to give up easily, he decided to get scrappy and be “all in.” To sell his vision, he transformed his own split-level suburban home into a living, mist-enshrouded rain forest to convince potential investors that the concept was viable. Yes, you read that correctly—he converted his own house into a jungle dwelling complete with rock outcroppings, waterfalls, rivers, and layers of fog and mist that rose from the ground. The jungle included a life-size replica of an elephant near the front door, forty tropical birds in cages, and a live baby baboon named Charlie. Steve shared the following details: Every room, every closet, every hallway of my house was set up as a three-dimensional vignette: an attempt to present my idea of what a rain forest restaurant would look like in actual operation. . . . [I]t took me three years and almost $400,000 to get the house developed to the point where I felt comfortable showing it to potential investors. . . . [S]everal of my neighbors weren’t exactly thrilled to be living near a jungle habitat. . . . On one occasion, Steve received a visit from the Drug Enforcement Administration. They wanted to search the premises for drugs, presuming he may have had an illegal drug lab in his home because of his huge residential electric bill. I imagine they were astonished when they discovered the tropical rain forest filled with jungle creatures. Steve’s plan was beautiful, creative, fun, and scrappy, but the results weren’t coming as quickly as he would have liked. It took all of his resources, and he was running out of time and money to make something happen. (It’s important to note that your scrappy efforts may not generate results immediately.) I asked Steve if he ever thought about quitting, how tight was the money really, and if there was a time factor, and he said, “Yes to all three! Of course I thought about quitting. I was running out of money and time.” Ultimately, Steve’s plan succeeded. After many visits and more than two years later, gaming executive and venture capitalist Lyle Berman bought into the concept and raised the funds necessary to get the Rainforest Café up and running. The Rainforest Café chain became one of the most successful themed restaurants ever created, and continues that way under Landry’s Restaurants and Tilman Fertitta’s leadership. Today, Steve creates restaurant concepts in fantastic warehouses far from his residential neighborhood!
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Terri L. Sjodin (Scrappy: A Little Book About Choosing to Play Big)