“
I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. “And please don’t laugh at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate. ”He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of your marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over. Problem is, you can’t accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re just lickin’ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.“But I love him.”
“So love him.” “But I miss him.” “So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.
”
”
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
“
Thank you, Monkey Pants.
”
”
James McBride (The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store)
“
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.
”
”
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
“
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs
to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”
when someone sneezes, a leftover
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot,
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress
to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder,
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.
”
”
Danusha Laméris (The Moons of August)
“
I've been practicing in my mind, trying to find some words, but they've all been taken, all used for ordinary considerations that mean nothing in comparison to what he has meant. We say "Thank you very much" and "I so appreciate what you have done" to people who fill our grocery bags, to people who offer us a ride across town. What are the words to say to someone who gave you back your life, who believed that you still had a soul, who acknowledged how bad it was possible to feel? Shouldn't there be another language for this? Different words altogether?
”
”
Laura McBride (We Are Called To Rise)
“
It makes you wonder where they all go, all the letters and notes, the thank-you cards and he birthday invitations, the little missives scrawled along the edges of grocery lists, the doodles on the cardboard backs of spiral-bound notebooks. All the messages, so important, so pressing, so necessary.
Maybe Wolf’s right and they never really disappear. Even after they’re crumpled and thrown away, they linger and become ghosts. Not the kind that hide up in the attic rattling your shutters, but the kind that follow you wherever you go, coming back to you like an echo, like when something leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I don’t know if that’s guilt or regret.
”
”
John David Anderson (Posted)
“
Candles blazing, the people closet to me in the world sang "Happy Birthday," and I grinned like a fool and tried not to cry because it was so wonderful and so disarming - almost like being transported back to a moment in childhood that I had not actually lived through. I blew out the candles and everyone cheered. "Thank you all for being here with me," I said, too choked up to manage more. It is so easy to go through your days stewing about someone stealing your parking spot without giving the same attention to your child's arms around your neck, to grumble about the ever-increasing cost of groceries without realizing just how good it is have warm toast and a fresh cup of coffee while sitting across from the one you love.
”
”
Camille Pagán (Forever is the Worst Long Time)
“
Be an epic goofball. Seriously. Praise be to Pokemon Go for getting people out and doing stuff again. For about five minutes, Pokemon Go was beating out porn in internet usage. That’s crazy awesome. Who knows what the fuck the new hot thing will be by the time you are reading this book, but I am all in for anything that gives us permission to be epic goofballs. I will talk in a crazy accent, wear weird t-shirts (I love buying t-shirts from the boys’ section of the store) to work (the benefit of being self-employed… I set the dress code), dance with my waiter in the middle of the restaurant (thanks, Paul!), and have my husband (a deeply patient man) push me through the grocery store parking lot while I stand on the shopping cart.
”
”
Faith G. Harper (Coping Skills: Tools & Techniques for Every Stressful Situation)
“
At the grocery store, a clerk told her she'd taken one organic avocado and one regular. "You can't get the two-for-one deal," he informed her. He acted like she had inconvenienced him, like she'd done it on purpose, like she was someone who would scheme to steal avocados. She didn't apologize. "I pulled them from the same bin," she said. "If your produce was organized, this wouldn't have happened." He got flustered and gave her the deal. She didn't say thank you.
”
”
Jennifer Close (Marrying the Ketchups)
“
We say 'Thank you very much' and 'I so appreciate what you have done' to people who fill our grocery bags, to people who offer us a ride across town. What are the words to say to someone who gave you back your life, who believed that you still had a soul, who acknowledged how bad it was possible to feel? Shouldn't there be another language for this? Different words altogether? And if I use the same old words, did I change what I was trying to say? Did I make it a same old thing?
”
”
Laura McBride (We Are Called to Rise)
“
As perfectly imperfect human beings, we're constantly impacting, affecting, and influencing other people. What a great responsibility. When we keep that in mind, simple conversations and passing interactions begin to carry weight... The way you thank the grocery bagger at the supermarket becomes as important as the way you thank an executive after a meeting at work. God's grace shines through our ability to love others with sincere patience, gratitude, and acceptance. He's not the only one dishing out grace. We have the ability (and responsibility) to deliver it as well.
”
”
Emily Ley (Grace, Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy (Tools and Strategies to Help You Simplify Your Space, Your Time, and Your Mind So You Can Slow Down and Enjoy Life))
“
if they label you soft, feather weight and white-livered,
if the locker room tosses back its sweaty head,
and laughs at how quiet your hands stay,
if they come to trample the dandelions roaring in your throat,
you tell them that you were forged inside of a woman
who had to survive fifteen different species of disaster
to bring you here,
and you didn’t come to piss on trees.
you ain’t nobody’s thick-necked pitbull boy,
don’t need to prove yourself worthy of this inheritance
of street-corner logic, this
blood legend, this
index of catcalls, “three hundred ways to turn a woman
into a three course meal”, this
legacy of shame, and man,
and pillage, and man,
and rape, and man.
you boy.
you won’t be some girl’s slit wrists dazzling the bathtub,
won’t be some girl’s,
“i didn’t ask for it but he gave it to me anyway”,
the torn skirt panting behind the bedroom door,
some father’s excuse to polish his gun.
if they say, “take what you want”, you tell them
you already have everything you need;
you come from scabbed knuckles
and women who never stopped swinging,
you come men who drank away their life savings,
and men who raised daughters alone.
you come from love you gotta put your back into,
elbow-grease loving like slow-dancing on dirty linoleum,
you come from that house of worship.
boy, i dare you to hold something like that.
love whatever feels most like your grandmother’s cooking.
love whatever music looks best on your feet.
whatever woman beckons your blood to the boiling point,
you treat her like she is the god of your pulse,
you treat her like you would want your father to treat me:
i dare you to be that much man one day.
that you would give up your seat on the train
to the invisible women, juggling babies and groceries.
that you would hold doors, and say thank-you,
and understand that women know they are beautiful
without you having to yell it at them from across the street.
the day i hear you call a woman a “bitch”
is the day i dig my own grave.
see how you feel writing that eulogy.
and if you are ever left with your love’s skin trembling under your nails,
if there is ever a powder-blue heart
left for dead on your doorstep,
and too many places in this city that remind you of her tears,
be gentle when you drape the remains of your lives in burial cloth.
don’t think yourself mighty enough to turn her into a poem,
or a song,
or some other sweetness to soften the blow,
boy,
i dare you to break like that.
you look too much like your mother not t
”
”
Eboni Hogan
“
I was only hit on once at the grocery store. I remember it was early one Saturday morning and I was buying my daily bacon, when I got tapped on the shoulder. I turned around and I saw a rather short and very feeble eighty-year-old lady looking up at me. She said in a weak, scratchy voice, "Excuse me, young man, could you reach up and grab some ketchup for me?" Well I'm no dummy. I know when I'm getting hit on. I smiled politely and reached up for the ketchup, knowing full well that she just wanted to get a gander at my derriere. As I handed her the ketchup, she said, "Thank you," like I was some piece of meat, a boy toy, or something. Finally I just blurted out, "Look, I'm married, lady!" She acted all surprised and confused. "Excuse me? I don't understand!" I shook my head with a smirk, raised my left hand, and showed her my wedding ring. "Married!" I loudly told her. "I'm taken!" A stock boy at the end of the aisle looked at us and inquired, "Is everything okay?" "I'm fine," I assured him. "I know how to deal with predators." Well, suddenly this sex-crazed lady got all angry at me. Like I was out of line. She huffed off. "Well, I never!" "And you ain't gonna with me either, " I yelled after her. I have to admit, it was nice to get the attention.
”
”
Jim Gaffigan (Food: A Love Story)
“
Soon after World War II, a tired-looking woman entered a store and asked the owner for enough food to make a Christmas dinner for her children. When he inquired how much she could afford, she answered, “My husband was killed in the war. Truthfully, I have nothing to offer but a little prayer.” The man was not very sentimental, for a grocery store cannot be run like a breadline. So he said, “Write your prayer on a paper.” To his surprise she plucked a little folded note out of her pocket and handed it to him, saying, “I already did that.” As the grocer took the paper, an idea struck him. Without even reading the prayer, he put it on the weight side of his old-fashioned scales, saying, “We shall see how much food this is worth.” To his surprise, the scale would not go down when he put a loaf of bread on the other side. To his even greater astonishment, it would not balance when he added many more items. Finally he blurted out, “Well, that’s all the scales will hold anyway. Here’s a bag. You’ll have to put them in yourself. I’m busy.” With a tearful “thank you,” the lady went happily on her way. The grocer later found that the mechanism of the scales was out of order, but as the years passed, he often wondered if that really was the answer to what had occurred. Why did the woman have the prayer already written to satisfy his unpremeditated demands? Why did she come at exactly the time the mechanism was broken? Frequently he looked at that slip of paper upon which the woman’s prayer was written, for amazingly enough, it read, “Please, dear Lord, give us this day our daily bread!” —Henry Bosch
”
”
Our Daily Bread Ministries (Prayer (Strength for the Soul))
“
A woman stood up, beaming. “Yes, hello, my name is Edna Flattistein and I’m from China Lake? I just want to say, I love the show, and I especially loved what you said about being grateful for food, and I just wondered if you have a favorite grace you recite before each meal, to thank our Lord and Savior for the bounty! I’d love to hear it! Thank you!” Elizabeth shielded her eyes as if to get a better look at Edna. “Hello, Edna,” she said, “and thanks for your question. The answer is no; I don’t have a favorite grace. In fact, I don’t say grace at all.” Standing in the office, both Walter and Harriet paled. “Please,” Walter whispered. “Don’t say it.” “Because I’m an atheist,” Elizabeth said matter-of-factly. “Thar she blows,” Harriet said. “In other words, I don’t believe in God,” added Elizabeth as the audience gasped. “Wait. Is that rare?” Madeline piped up. “Is not believing in God one of those rare things?” “But I do believe in the people who made the food possible,” Elizabeth continued. “The farmers, the pickers, the truckers, the grocery store shelf stockers. But most of all, I believe in you, Edna. Because you made the meal that nourishes your family. Because of you, a new generation flourishes. Because of you, others live.” She paused, checking the clock, then turned directly to the camera. “That’s all we have time for today. I hope you’ll join me tomorrow as we explore the fascinating world of temperature and how it affects flavor.” Then she cocked her head slightly to the left, almost as if she were considering whether she’d gone too far or not far enough. “Children, set the table,” she said with extra resolution. “Your mother needs a moment to herself.” And within a few seconds, Walter’s phone began to ring and did not stop.
”
”
Bonnie Garmus (Lessons in Chemistry)
“
A message, like a fortune cookie, dropped into my inbox yesterday. It said: “Everything I touch sparkles, my energy is contagious & all those connected to me – wins… I can’t say for sure if it’s true, but thank you from the bottom of my heart for such sentiments.
Darling listen – I want you to also take a moment today to reach out to someone who’s been a lucky charm in your life. Send them a carrier pigeon with a Thank-You note!
Sweetheart, your vibes, energy & touch also have incredible power. Think about the people you care about & the ones whose lives you’re woven into. Are you making them feel lucky to have you around? Are your thoughts, words & actions adding sunshine to their day or leaving them feeling like they accidentally stepped into a grumpy cloud.
Let you always strive to become the person whose presence brings joy, whose thoughts inspire, whose actions make a difference. Let you make people laugh in grocery stores, dance in small gatherings & to sing in elevators.
Let your journey be meaningful & your impact undeniable. Blessings!
”
”
Rajesh Goyal
“
I hate fighting. I’m sensitive and, frankly, not good at it. If the consequence of bickering online means I’ve got to spend the afternoon feeling bad because a kid I don’t remember from high school called me a “fat-ass Kelly Price” over a Reductress article, please murder me. And if my tweets get on your goddamn nerves: BLOCK ME FIRST. Kill me with your powerful brain! There are too many places in real life where blocking is not a viable option to tolerate someone ruining your secret lives online. You can’t block the coworker who won’t stop fucking talking while loitering nearby as you’re just trying to put half-and-half in your breakroom coffee, but you can block that friend of a friend who says shit like, “I’m not prejudiced, I don’t care if a person is purple or green or blue.” LMAO, blue people???? SHUT THE FUCK UP. You can’t delete the neighbor whose eyesore of a car is parked halfway across your driveway and whose cat keeps shitting on your deck, but you can delete your cousin who earnestly believes that rap music is reverse racism and vehemently comments as much on every Kendrick Lamar video you share. There’s no mute button for the woman at the grocery store who won’t stop asking you where the shampoo is, even though you’re pushing your
”
”
Samantha Irby (Wow, No Thank You.)
“
Pittsburgh. The late 1930s. Fear was rampant as to where the next meal would come from. There was little in the way of excitement, just the day to day struggle to make ends meet. Little or no surprise existed, and hope was at a low ebb. In the middle of this, a man sold his life insurance policy. He bought a new car, a fur coat for his wife, boxing gloves for his sons, and four full bags of groceries for the family. He drove up the street for the neighborhood to see. The celebration was deafening. That was my father, and he taught me this lesson in scarcity. I never forgot it. Thanks, George.
”
”
Milton Katselas (Dreams into Action: Getting What You Want)
“
There was an old jew who lived at the site of the old synagogue up on Chicken Hill in the town of Pottstown, Pa., and when Pennsylvania State Troopers found the skeleton at the bottom of an old well off Hayes Street, the old Jew’s house was the first place they went to.
Thank you, Monkey Pants.
—The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store
”
”
Jamees mcBride
“
When you first start doing core workouts, it’s rough. It’s hard. And it hurts. But if you’re consistent, it gets easier. The exercises become less painful, and you start to feel and see the results. And one of the sneaky things about a strong core is that it shows up in places you might not expect.
Perhaps you thank your core for the fact that your back doesn’t hurt anymore. Or perhaps it’s easier to shove your suitcase in the overhead bin on the airplane. A strong core provides a physical support system and helps you function better—whether you’re carrying the groceries into your house or competing in an Ironman.
If you’re reading this book, you’re already putting in the work! You see that things could be better, and you’re ready to do something to make that happen. So, let’s engage your core.
As with your physical core, your Thoughtfully Fit core can provide you with a support system that makes it easier to be thoughtful with yourself and others. You’re then less likely to have conflict and regrets.
However, this also takes consistent practice. Just like ten sit-ups won’t give you much core strength, pausing once a month won’t have much impact on your life or relationships. But if you practice, engaging your Thoughtfully Fit core will get easier, and the effect will sneak up (in a good way, I promise). As your core confidence builds, your day-to-day decisions will be more thoughtful, better informed, and made with more empathy.
”
”
Darcy Luoma (Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life and Business Success)
“
I rang out a couple more customers as I thought about it, and...he slowly walked up to the counter and set down two spools of line. I should really figure out what the point of one being thicker than the other was.
“Hi, Mr. Rhodes,” I greeted him with a smile.
He’d taken his sunglasses off and slid them through one of the gaps between the buttons of his work shirt. His gray eyes were steady on me as he said in that same uninterested, stern tone from before, “Hi.”
I took the first package of fishing line and scanned it. “How is your day going?”
“Fine.”
I scanned the next package and figured I might as well go in for the kill since no one was around. “You remember that time you said you owed me?” A day ago.
He didn’t say anything, and I peeked up at him.
Since his eyebrows couldn’t talk, they formed a shape that told me exactly how distrustful he was feeling right then.
“You do, okay. Well,” and I lowered my voice, “I was going to ask if I could redeem that favor.”
Those gray eyes stayed narrowed.
This was going well.
I glanced around to make sure no one was listening and quickly said, “When you aren’t busy… could you teach me about all this stuff? Even if it’s just a little bit?”
That got him to blink in what I was pretty sure was surprise. And to give him credit, he too lowered his voice as he asked slowly and possibly in confusion, “What stuff?”
I tipped my head to the side. “All this stuff in here. Fishing, camping, you know, general knowledge I might need to work here so I have an idea of what I’m doing.”
There was another blink.
I might as well go for it. “Only when you aren’t super busy. Please. If you can, but if you can’t, that’s okay.” I’d just cry myself to sleep at night. No biggie.
Worst case, I could hit up the library on my days off. Hang out in the grocery store parking lot and google information. I could make it work. I would, regardless.
Dark, thick, black eyelashes dipped over his nice eyes, and his voice came out low and even. “You’re serious?” He thought I was shitting him.
“Dead.”
His head turned to the side, giving me a good view of his short but really pretty eyelashes. “You want me to teach you to fish?” he asked like he couldn’t believe it, like I’d asked him to… I don’t know, show me his wiener.
“You don’t have to teach me to fish, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I haven’t been in forever. But more about everything else. Like, what is the point of these two different kinds of line? What are all the lures good for? Or are they called flies? Do you really need those gadgets to start a fire?” I knew I was whispering as I said, “I have so many random questions, and not having internet makes it hard to look things up. Your total is $40.69, by the way.”
My landlord blinked for about the hundredth time at that point, and I was pretty sure he was either confused or stunned as he pulled his wallet out and slipped his card through the reader, his gaze staying on me for the majority of the time in that long, watchful way that was completely different from the way the older men had been eyeballing me earlier. Not sexually or with interest, but more like I was a raccoon and he wasn’t sure if I had rabies or not.
In a weird way, I preferred it by a lot.
I smiled. “It’s okay if not,” I told him, handing over a small paper bag with his purchases inside.
The tall man took it from me and let his eyes wander to a spot to my left. His Adam’s apple bobbed; then he took a step back and sighed. “Fine. Tonight, 7:30. I’ve got thirty minutes and not one longer.”
What!
“You’re my hero,” I whispered.
He looked at me, then blinked.
“I’ll be there, thank you,” I told him.
He grunted, and before I could thank him again, he was out of there so fast I had no chance to check out his butt in those work pants of his.
”
”
Mariana Zapata
“
I committed to acting on the Word from that point forward. As I did, peculiarities began to follow me.
After the second sermon, I decided to stop by the grocery store on my way home from the gym to practice my skills with time management and to avoid procrastination.
I entered the grocery store unprepared, with no goal other than to be obedient to Shiligoth’s wish to act upon the sermons.
Because I was not prepared to shop for groceries, I did not know what I wanted to buy.
As I entered the store, the Spirit of Shiligoth entered me again to guide my footsteps. I had faith that Shiligoth would guide me in my dealings.
I entered the milk aisle and began to select groceries. My hands were full and I did not have a cart. I prayed that Shiligoth would provide me with a cart.
As I did so, an empty cart materialized in the aisle in front of me. I dropped to a knee and shook my head in disbelief. I stood up and looked again. The cart was real.
Shiligoth had answered my obscure prayer as a thank you for my obedience. I was witnessing synchronicity in action, the unity of mind, body and soul. I had caught a glimpse of the prophetic life and I wanted more.
”
”
Aaron Kyle Andresen (How Dad Found Himself in the Padded Room: A Bipolar Father's Gift For The World (The Padded Room Trilogy Book 1))
“
Americans cared about money. And power. And government. Jews had none of those things; their job was to tread lightly in the land of milk and honey and be thankful that they were free to walk the land without getting their duffs kicked—or worse. Life in America was hard, but it was free, and if you worked hard, you might gain some opportunity, maybe even open a shop or business of some kind.
”
”
James McBride (The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store)
“
Moshe had few friends. Most of Pottstown’s Jews had left Chicken Hill by then. Nate was a friend, but he was a Negro, so there was that space between them. But with Malachi, there was no space. They were fellow escapees who, having endured the landing at Ellis Island and escaped the grinding sweatshops and vicious crime of the vermin-infested Lower East Side, had arrived by hook or crook in the land of opportunity that was Pennsylvania, home to Quakers, Mormons, and Presbyterians. Who cared that life was lonely, that jobs were thankless drudgery, that the romance of the proud American state was myth, that the rules of life were laid carefully in neat books and laws written by stern Europeans who stalked the town and state like the grim reaper, with their righteous churches spouting that Jews murdered their precious Jesus Christ? Their fellow Pennsylvanians knew nothing about the shattered shtetls and destroyed synagogues of the old country; they had not set eyes on the stunned elderly immigrants starving in tenements in New York, the old ones who came alone, who spoke Yiddish only, whose children died or left them to live in charity homes, the women frightened until the end, the men consigned to a life of selling vegetables and fruits on horse-drawn carts. They were a lost nation spread across the American countryside, bewildered, their yeshiva education useless, their proud history ignored, as the clankety-clank of American industry churned around them, their proud past as watchmakers and tailors, scholars and historians, musicians and artists, gone, wasted. Americans cared about money. And power. And government. Jews had none of those things; their job was to tread lightly in the land of milk and honey and be thankful that they were free to walk the land without getting their duffs kicked—or worse. Life in America was hard, but it was free, and if you worked hard, you might gain some opportunity, maybe even open a shop or business of some kind.
”
”
James McBride (The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store)
“
Americans cared about money. And power. And government. Jews had none of those things; their job was to tread lightly in the land of milk and honey and be thankful that they were free to walk the land without getting their duffs kicked—or worse. Life in America was hard, but it was free, and if you worked hard, you might gain some opportunity, maybe even open a shop or business of some kind.
”
”
McBride James (The heaven & earth grocery store)
“
A good guideline for a safe distance (wherever possible) is two-arm’s length reach from a stranger. That distance allows you to hear what a person is saying, as well as provides you a reactionary gap should you need to effectively respond. Distance equals time and time equals safety, and that could be the difference between being safe or being the target of an attack. Verbal Boundaries Say what you mean in order to enforce your boundaries, such as “Leave now!” not “Can you please just go away?” or “Just leave me alone.” Make your point clearly and concisely. The more words you use, the more likely that your message will get lost. Avoid “please” and “thank you” in situations where you’re establishing and enforcing your boundaries. It’s okay to be polite as a tactical choice of words, but don’t qualify or give reason for your statement. Remember, it’s not what you say but how you say it, and being rude or angry when you’re dealing with a threatening situation can quickly make it worse. Know what you want, state it clearly and directly, and stick to it. Know Your Triggers Triggers are products of some past event. A trigger could be a smell, a sound, or a physical object. Triggers can affect you physically and mentally. The key is to remember that the situation that contains the trigger is not happening now; it already occurred in the past, and you need to remain focused on the present. Your safety depends on it. You don’t want a trigger to overtake your ability to stay focused in a potentially dangerous encounter with a stranger. Take three deep breaths. Breathing deeply and fully signals your parasympathetic system to respond by generating a sense of relaxation. If you have to say something more than twice, they’re not listening. Repeat yourself and stand your ground, but understand you may need to change the way you’re saying it. Be firmer and/or louder. Always remember that if you can leave a situation safely, leave. Don’t defer the “no”! By putting off something to another time, instead of definitively saying “no,” you’ll just have to deal with it another day. You need to be okay with saying “no” today. Repeat if necessary. Don’t apologize too much. (Women are especially bad about this.) Interrupt the person. You don’t need to be polite if they aren’t listening to you. Plus, interrupting them will serve to distract and redirect their energy. Imagine that you’re leaving the store late at night with an armful of groceries. A man approaches you and asks to assist you with putting your groceries in the vehicle. The way you use your voice can determine whether or not he accepts your reply.
”
”
Darren Levine (Krav Maga for Women: Your Ultimate Program for Self Defense)
“
Michael Oliver, did you have groceries delivered to my door via my neighbor, or did I imagine that?” The deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face makes me laugh. “Will you be mad if I admit that was me?” “Why would I be mad?” He shrugs. “You like to do things on your own. Didn’t want to mess with your girl power vibe.” Girl power vibe? “Plus, we’d had that horrible conversation at the store. Didn’t want to upset you again, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop worrying that maybe you needed some groceries.” I’m momentarily speechless. As we sway to the music, I dust off some lint on his tux. “You know, I baked you a pie and left it on your doorstep to thank you. Did you get it?” He stops moving. Tilts his head. Growls. “Johnny ate my damn pie!” His outrage puts another smile on my face. “It probably wasn’t even that good.” “Everyone knows you’re a damn good cook, Maggie.” Little flutters fill my belly at the compliment, and I make a mental note to bake him another one.
”
”
Lex Martin (The Baby Blitz (Varsity Dads #3))
“
All-knowing Mother,” he said, with his head bowed. “I’m sorry human beings are such a blight. I’m sorry we litter your earth and choke the fish in your oceans with plastic grocery sacks. We have been given incomprehensible beauty on this earth, but we don’t see it. We walk around angry and blind and ungrateful. I wish we were better, our dumb human race, but I don’t have much hope that we ever will be. The best I can do today is say: Thank you for this world of miracles. We will try to be more grateful. And less ridiculous.” On the first day, or even during the first week, I would have been looking out of the side of my eyes, like Is this dude for real? But now, as he came to a close, I started to clap. Everybody else started to clap, too, and shout things like, “Go, Boss! Tell it like it is!
”
”
Katherine Center (Happiness for Beginners)
“
more about nutrients in foods at the US Nutrients Database here. Happy shopping and I hope this Paleo list of foods helps you get through the checkout more quickly and home to prepare your beautifully healthy Paleo meals! That ends the Paleo shopping list, If it's helped you with your grocery list please leave a review below. Thanks!
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Anonymous
“
Swipers use their scythes a little differently,” Elysia continued. “They open up small windows into the ether—just large enough for them to reach through—and take supplies that generally go unnoticed from places like large warehouses, back rooms of grocery stores, Laundromats—”
“Laundromats?”
“You should see our sock inventory,” Driggs said. “Massive.”
Elysia nodded. “We’re pretty isolated out here, so it’s a really efficient system.”
Lex was dumbfounded. “I had no idea petty theft was such a noble endeavor.”
“Well,” said Zara, “when you think about the gracious services we provide to the citizens of this world, it’s only fair. People should be thankful we don’t charge more
”
”
Gina Damico (Croak (Croak, #1))
“
Hi, there. Need a hand?” the man said. I stopped near the trunk. “No, thanks. I got it.” He didn’t leave. “My name’s Dale. I own Dale’s Auto Body on South Mitchell. You should bring your car by. It looks like it might be due for an oil change.” Did I really look dumb enough to believe he could determine the car needed an oil change just by looking at the exterior? It certainly wasn’t leaking oil as a giveaway. “That’s a nice offer, but my boyfriend does the oil changes.” I unlocked the trunk and started to load groceries. Dale didn’t take the hint and go away. “He’s a handy guy, then?” He grabbed the potatoes and set them in the trunk for me. Unfortunately, it brought him closer. “Yes, very.” A brief conversation sometimes worked to get rid of a pest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” he said. I could see Clay through the back window. Crouched down, he watched the man though the small gap between the trunk lid and the trunk. I bent forward and set a bag in the trunk so Dale wouldn’t see me as I rolled my eyes at Clay. Clay’s gaze briefly flicked to me before returning to Dale with serious intent. “Gabby,” I said as I closed the trunk. “Thanks for helping me with the groceries, but I need to get going. My dog’s been in the car for a while already.” Not waiting for his reply, I moved the cart to the empty spot next to my car. “We have an opening at the shop. If your boyfriend’s looking for work, send him by. We’ll see how good he is,” Dale said, opening the driver-side door for me. Clay hopped from the back seat to the driver’s seat. With bristling fur, he growled at Dale, who backed away a step. I nodded to Dale and nudged Clay over so I could slide in behind the wheel. Braving Clay’s wrath, Dale closed the door for me. I started the car and pulled through the empty spot in front of me. “Well, that was a challenge if I ever heard one.” I reached over to pet Clay’s head. “But no challenges until you fix the sink.” He looked up at me, and I smiled. When
”
”
Melissa Haag (Hope(less) (Judgement of the Six #1))
“
All-knowing Mother... I'm sorry human beings are such a blight. I'm sorry we litter your earth and choke the fish in your oceans with plastic grocery sacks. We have been given incomprehensible beauty on this earth, but we don't see it. We walk around angry and blind and ungrateful. I wish we were better, our dumb human race, but I don't have much hope that we ever will be. The best I can do today is say: Thank you for this world of miracles. We will try to be more grateful. And less ridiculous.
”
”
Katherine Center
“
THIS IS YOUR WIFE,” THE CAPTION OF THE BELL TELEPHONE ad reads. Above it, five identical women’s heads are lined up in a row. One head wears a chef’s toque; the next, a nurse’s bonnet; another, a chauffeur’s cap; and so on. Thanks to the telephone, readers are told, “the pretty girl you married” can order groceries, call for a sick child’s medicine, find out what time to meet her husband’s train, and more. Behold the modern American housewife: five women neatly bundled into one.
”
”
Ruth Franklin (Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life)
“
respond immediately to people who need something—anything—impulsively. I want to plug the hole. Like, I have to stifle this impulse to help people carry their grocery bags in my apartment building, or if I’m in line at the store and someone is short some money, I’ll always think about volunteering to pay. Even on the street, I’ll hear someone complain about how they can’t get somewhere, I’ll think, I have a car you can borrow. I don’t say it, thank God, but I find myself thinking it. If I see someone shivering on the street, I have an impulse to give them the coat off my back. It’s pathological, right? I have a neurotic impulse to help people?
”
”
Julie Holland (Weekends at Bellevue: Nine Years on the Night Shift at the Psych E.R.)
“
We say 'Thank you very much' and 'I so appreciate what you have done' to people who fill our grocery bags, to people who offere us a ride across town. What are the words to say to someone who gave you back your life, who believed that you still had a soul, who acknowledged how bad it was possible to feel? Shouldn't there be another language for this? Different words altogether? And if I use the same old words, did I change what I was trying to say? Did I make it a same old thing?
”
”
Laura McBride (We Are Called to Rise)
“
It seems to me that the prayers of the Bible can be distilled into one. The result is a simple, easy-to-remember, pocket-size prayer: Father, you are good. I need help. Heal me and forgive me. They need help. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, amen. Let this prayer punctuate your day. As you begin your morning, Father, you are good. As you commute to work or walk the hallways at school, I need help. As you wait in the grocery line, They need help. Keep this prayer in your pocket as you pass through the day.
”
”
Max Lucado (Before Amen: The Power of a Simple Prayer)
“
There is also violence by omission: By not following the example of Georg Elser and attempting to remove Hitler, good Germans were culpable for the effects Hitler had on the world. By not removing dams I am culpable for their effects on my landbase. There is violence by silence. I will tell you something I did, or rather didn’t do, that causes me more shame than almost anything I have ever done or not done in my life. I was walking one night several years ago out of a grocery store. A man who was clearly homeless and just as clearly alcoholic (and inebriated) approached me and asked for money. I told him, honestly, that I had no change. He respectfully thanked me anyway, and wished me a good evening. I walked on. I heard the man say something to whomever was behind me. Then I heard another man’s voice say, “Get the fuck away from me!” followed by the thud of fist striking flesh. Turning back, I saw a youngish man with slick-backed black hair and wearing a business suit pummeling the homeless man’s face. I took a step toward them. And then? I did nothing. I watched the businessman strike twice more, wipe the back of his hand on his pants, then walk away, shoulders squared, to his car. I took another step toward the homeless man. He turned to face me. His eyes showed he felt nothing. I didn’t say a word. I went home.
”
”
Derrick Jensen (Endgame, Vol. 1: The Problem of Civilization)
“
All knowing Mother," he said, with his head bowed. "I'm sorry human beings are such a blight, I'm sorry we litter your earth and choke the fish in your oceans with plastic grocery sacks. We have been given incomprehensible beauty on this earth, but we don't see it. We walk around angry and blind and ungrateful. I wish we were better, our dumb human race, but I don't have much hope that we ever will be. The best I can do today is say: Thank you for this world of miracles. We will try to be more grateful. And less ridiculous.
”
”
Katherine Center (Happiness for Beginners)
“
When I think about what I'd like to give him, it's satisfaction - a metaphorical rocking chair that he can sit in and enjoy. The rocking chair comes in many forms. There are the big things, like brining him in for a tour of the Olympic Village in Rio, or saying a special thank-you in front of the guests at my wedding. And there are the little things, like giving him rewards points. You know those rewards people get at the grocery store where you get discounts and free stuff when you earn enough points? My dad gets so much pleasure out of that. I makes him feel so good that I still use his phone number to get my groceries so that he can have the points. And these grocery points make him so fucking happy that it makes me sad.
”
”
Alexi Pappas (Bravey)
“
I apologize for judging your culture and for being intolerant of other beliefs. I created a hostile environment, and…” He frowns, like he’s trying to remember his lines. Then he sighs and crumples, looking at me with pain on his face. “I really am sorry. My friends and I can be kind of the worst sometimes. I know my dad thinks that. And I’m sure my teachers do. And…you know, everyone.” I bite my lip. Ricky’s dad seems nicer than he did in the grocery store, but it’s still sad that Ricky feels that way. He takes a breath and continues. “But we really do think your hall-money is cool. Everybody in town does. And I feel really bad that she’s sick. I feel really bad that I said she’s sick. Sometimes my mouth keeps talking even when my brain knows it shouldn’t.” I can’t help but smile. “Thanks,” I say. I didn’t realize how much I was hoping to hear that. How much of a relief it is to know he doesn’t think Halmoni is creepy or scary or whatever. “I don’t think you’re the worst. And I shouldn’t have fed you mud.” I mean this, mostly. But if Halmoni’s right about the spell, it might not be so bad for him. He shrugs. “Mud has vitamins, probably. I’ve eaten worse.” “Oh.” “A worm,” he says. “Only once, though. And also another time, a Raisinet that definitely was not a Raisinet. I’m still not sure…Well, never mind.” I wait to see if he’s joking, but he’s serious. I fight back a smile. “But still. Sorry. It’s not like me to do that.” Then I correct myself. “Or, I guess it is? But I didn’t know that until now.” “It’s okay,” he says. “Let’s stop apologizing now. Apologizing is awkward.” I tug at one of my braids. “Do your friends hate me?” He laughs. “They think you’re supercool. They kept referring to you as Witch Girl. But not in a bad way. Anyone who does something like that is probably worth knowing.” I sneak a glance at him. He’s staring at me, but he looks away fast. His cheeks go splotchy. In that moment, I don’t feel like an invisible girl. But I also don’t want to be known for putting mud in someone’s pudding. I wonder if there’s a way to be a visible person and a good person at the same time. “Is that going to be my reputation in school now?” I ask. He tilts his head, thinking. “Well, yeah. But only until the next big thing.” Then after a moment, he adds, “I think it’s nice that you’re doing something to help your halmoni.” He still says it wrong, like hail-money, but he’s trying, and I appreciate it.
”
”
Tae Keller (When You Trap a Tiger)
“
said she would drive me around looking for The Bobbsey Twins in the Mystery Cave. You know what else she said? She said, “If we find a store that carries the book, I will buy a copy for you, too.” “Oh, thank you!” I had cried. “That will be great because I only have enough money for one copy.” That afternoon, Mommy dressed Andrew in his snowsuit and boots and hat and mittens and scarf. Andrew could hardly move, but Mommy said, “It’s cold and it feels like snow. Everybody bundle up.” So we did. Then Mommy drove to the Book Nook. I ran right to the section where the series books are kept. There were The Bobbsey Twins. But no number 53. Boo. “Don’t worry,” said Mommy. “We can still try Peter Rabbit and the Book Barn. We can even look in the grocery store.” “Okay,” I said. But Peter Rabbit was out of number 53. So was the Book Barn. “That’s a popular book in the series,” said the saleslady at the Book Barn. She smiled at me. “I know,” I answered. “That’s why my friend and I want to read it so badly.” I felt very discouraged when we left the Book Barn. But Mommy said, “I’ve got an idea. Let’s skip the grocery store. Let’s drive to Washington Mall instead. There are two big book-stores at the mall.” “Really, Mommy? You’ll really drive all the way to the mall?” I cried. “Sure,” Mommy replied. “Why not? Besides, Andrew needs new shoes.
”
”
Ann M. Martin (Karen's Wish (Baby-Sitters Little Sister: Super Special #1))
“
A pair of waiters brought a feast to the hotel room and arranged it in the sitting area. They unfolded the hot cart into a table, draped it in white linen, and brought out silver-domed plates.
By the time the wine was poured and all the dishes were uncovered, I was trembling with hunger.
Luke, however, became fractious after I changed his diaper, and he howled every time I tried to set him down. Holding him against one shoulder, I contemplated the steaming grilled steak in front of me and wondered how I was going to manage with only one hand.
“Let me,” Jack murmured, and came to my side of the table.
He cut the steak into small, neat bites with such adroitness that I gave him a look of mock-alarm. “You certainly know how to handle a knife.”
“I hunt whenever I get the chance.” Finishing the task, Jack set down the utensils and tucked a napkin into the neckline of my shirt. His knuckles brushed my skin, eliciting a shiver. “I can field-dress a deer in fifteen minutes,” he told me.
“That’s impressive. Disgusting, but impressive.”
He gave me an unrepentant grin as he returned to his side of the table. “If it makes you feel better, I eat anything I catch or kill.”
“Thanks, but that doesn’t make me feel better in the least. Oh, I’m aware that meat doesn’t magically appear all nicely packaged in foam and cellophane at the grocery store. But I have to stay several steps removed from the process. I don’t think I could eat meat if I had to hunt the animal and . . .”
“Skin and gut it?”
“Yes. Let’s not talk about that right now.” I took a bite of the steak. Either it was the long period of deprivation, or the quality of the beef, or the skill of the chef . . . but that succulent, lightly smoked, melting-hot steak was the best thing I had ever tasted.
I closed my eyes for a moment, my tonsils quivering.
He laughed quietly at my expression. “Admit it, Ella. It’s not so bad being a carnivore.”
I reached for a chunk of bread and dabbed it in soft yellow butter. “I’m not a carnivore, I’m an opportunistic omnivore.”
-Jack & Ella
”
”
Lisa Kleypas (Smooth Talking Stranger (Travises, #3))
“
There is a knock at the door and Mom answers it. “Hi, Joe, how are you doing?” “Terrific, I hope you have enough room in your refrigerator for this big bird! The Blisses send their best wishes.” Joe, a very thin wiry man, came close to stumbling over the threshold as he juggled the big, cold, slippery bird through the living room ‘round to our kitchen and into the refrigerator. “Thanks Joe, Happy Thanksgiving to you and all your family. Can you stay for a cup of coffee and some warm cookies?” “No thanks, I’m pressed for time and have a few more stops to make. I’ll see you at Christmas time.” We always saw Joe Lynch every Thanksgiving and Christmas making his rounds with the gift Turkeys from the Blisses. One year we saw him in the grocery store and he asked my Mom, “How many pounds should the bird be this year?” Whether Thanksgiving or Christmas, the gift birds were always appreciated and would always be stuffed with Grandma’s secret recipe dressing passed down from her family in Argentina. One of the secret ingredients is Gulden’s mustard. It just wouldn’t be the holidays without that heavenly aroma teasing our senses for hours.
”
”
Carol Ann P. Cote (Downstairs ~ Upstairs: The Seamstress, The Butler, The "Nomad Diplomats" and Me -- A Dual Memoir)
“
In deepest January she’d given a tea for some neighboring widows, picking them up in her pristine Fairlane and dropping them off again before dark; back home she washed the dishes, read the Bible, wrote in firm script four thank-you letters and a grocery list, and died in her sleep, an end so satisfying it seems displaced in our age.
”
”
Leif Enger (Peace Like a River: A Novel)
“
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Elevated gratitude for life. Many people who’ve faced a brush with death report a heightened appreciation for the life they’re still fortunate to have. Mortality is the splash of cold water in our face to help assign greater value to life. A stark reminder of how ephemeral we are—that is, teetering on the edge of life—can act as the provocation to live more consciously. The opposite of being grateful for life is taking it for granted. When was the last time you felt thankful to have a heartbeat, to have legs strong enough to walk up and down the grocery store aisles, to have the gift of Being Here?
”
”
Jodi Wellman (You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets)
“
I didn’t go to seminary. I mean, the liberal arts school I attended academically expelled me! Thankfully, we don’t need any sort of education to understand how simple loving others and loving God is. So, go. Grab your blow-up Santa and put it in your front yard in July if it will help someone else feel more loved. Go. Take some cookies to your neighbor for no reason other than knowing that they, like most of us, probably need a reason to smile today. Pay for the person’s groceries or Starbucks order behind you. Compliment someone’s shoes while taking a walk. What can you do today that will make someone feel loved? It’s not going to be as complicated as you think. I promise.
”
”
Carlos Whittaker (How to Human: Three Ways to Share Life Beyond What Distracts, Divides, and Disconnects Us)