Things improved when we got down to the specifics. Step one: Basic Flirtation. Lucy said you had to look the desired person in the eye. You had to smile and use the person's name. You had to pay compliments and, if at all humanly possible, touch the person. Not run your mitts all over them, of course, just "lightly brush" against them, preferably while "sharing a joke." A joke came thundering in my mind. What's the difference between a raw egg and a good ride? You can beat a raw egg. Perhaps that was not the kind of joke you would share with a total stranger. Above all, Lucy said, you had to ask questions. So far so good, I felt. I like asking people questions anyway; it was a very good thing to stop people asking questions about you.
Next stage was Getting That Date. Lucy said she would give us her secret weapon. The hormonal activity in the room seemed suddenly to surge. She leaned forward. "Little pauses," Lucy whispered.
Basically, the gist was that we were not supposed to go blundering in, grinning "howarya petal? Fancy a tequila sunrise or what?" We were supposed to "insert a little pause."
Lucy showed us what she meant. I was selected as guinea pig. She came over, sat down and gazed into my face, touching my wrist with just the right degree of pressure. My God, if there was one thing this woman understood, it was gravitational pull. She smiled. She moved her hair gently out of her sparkling eyes. She was so close now that I could smell her musky perfume. The class inhaled, 'en masse'. I felt my palms moisten.
"Listen Joe," she beamed, "Do yo, uh, want to have a drink with me sometime?