Squirrel Birthday Quotes

As a matter of fact, Janice wrote Preacher a letter in red ink on lace-trimmed paper in which she told him he was vile beyond all human beings and words, that she considered their engagement broken, that he could have back the stuffed squirrel he’d given her. Preacher, saying he wanted to act nice, stopped her the next time she passed our house, and said, well, hell, she could keep that old squirrel if she wanted to. Afterwards, he couldn’t understand why Janice ran away bawling the way she did.

Dame Chanda Kali, the famous soprano and Dame Commander of the Order of Woodland Whisperers, launched into a very theatrical version of the birthday song (which immediately attracted three robins, a badger, and a family of squirrels to worship adoringly at her feet).

P.S. [XXX] wants a pet squirrel monkey for her birthday. Any chance you can help me export one through diplomatic channels? If not, I think I might be able to get her to settle for a lizard of some sort.