Pharmacy Humor Quotes

They stared at each other for several long minutes hoping the other would give in. Finally she broke. “Fine, will you go in with me then?” “Will it make you feel better?” “Yes.” “Sure thing. The worse thing that could happen is people will think you are carrying my baby. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal for a female teacher to be with her male student at a pharmacy in the middle of the day buying a pregnancy test. What could go wrong?” he asked wryly.

You know, I found a gray hair the other day. I almost broke the sound barrier rushing to the pharmacy to get some dye. Beth snorted. Oh please! You're a blonde-no one can see gray hair up there. Now, you get one down under, and then you can panic.

If you really want to be afraid for mankind, you don't even need to know who Paul Ryan is. All you have to do is lurk for five minutes by the pharmacy.

You ever drive up to the pharmacy window and they ask you, "Can I have your phone number?" Sure all I get on it anymore are political calls, and people doing polls. Maybe it's difficult for people that work at pharmacy drive up windows to get phones.

Did you hear the one about the funeral procession? Well, this funeral procession was goin’ up the hill to the church and the back door of the hearse flew open and out shoots the casket and, blametty blam, down the hill it goes through the intersection with horns blowin’ and people dodgin’ out of the way, and it runs on down the street and jumps up on the sidewalk and busts in through the pharmacy door and shoots down the aisle to the druggist and the lid pops up and this guy sits up and says: ‘Got anything to stop this coffin?

Did you hear, boys? The witcher will remain here for three days because that’s his fancy. And I, priestess of Great Melitele, will for those three days be his host, for that is my fancy. Tell that to Hereward. No, not Hereward. Tell that to his wife, the noble Ermellia, adding that if she wants to continue receiving an uninterrupted supply of aphrodisiacs from my pharmacy, she’d better calm her duke down. Let her curb his humors and whims, which look ever more like symptoms of idiocy.

HEARTACHE: The doctors told me in so many medical terms that the shock had cracked my heart vertically down the middle. That there was nothing they could do. That any more shock could cause my heart to break in half. I didn’t want to believe them so for the past year...I’ve seen more doctors than I can remember. I’ve tried all kinds of medications whose names I can’t even pronounce. I take so many pills I could run a working pharmacy out of my medicine cabinet right now. (Beat.) But nothing is working. It’s like my body doesn’t know how to not be sick. I don’t even know if I can heal, I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be healthy, to feel normal. DESIRE: Because no one’s found the cure for a broken heart yet...