Naughty Quotes

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No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I do all sorts of bad things. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns.
Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes (The Mortal Instruments, #2))
No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?" "They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer. "And what is hell? Can you tell me that?" "A pit full of fire." "And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?" "No, sir." "What must you do to avoid it?" I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.
Charlotte Brontë (Jane Eyre)
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
Mae West (Wit & Wisdom of Mae West)
I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
Oscar Wilde
Yesterday was surreal. At times K was almost back to herself…funny…interested and relatively mobile. She was tactile and we kissed…she whispered naughty comments into my ear…achingly beautiful…I love her so much
Peter B. Forster (More Than Love, A Husband's Tale)
She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
Dorothy Parker
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.
Groucho Marx
It's the eternal struggle, Pudge. The good versus the naughty. ... Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war.
John Green (Looking for Alaska)
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Mae West
Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.
Mae West
Of course, you’d warm up faster if you took your clothes off.
Stephenie Meyer (Eclipse (The Twilight Saga, #3))
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.
Oscar Wilde
I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
Mae West
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
Lily Tomlin
good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere
Helen Gurley Brown
I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals.
Jarod Kintz (I Want)
Naughty John, Naughty John, does his work with his apron on. Cuts your throat and takes your bones, sells 'em off for a coupla stones.
Libba Bray (The Diviners (The Diviners, #1))
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
Groucho Marx
The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs.
Dylan Thomas (Under Milk Wood)
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
You,” Damon said somewhat indistinctly through the blood in his mouth, “have been a naughty boy, boy.
L.J. Smith (Nightfall (The Vampire Diaries: The Return, #1))
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
Groucho Marx
Come a day there won’t be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don’t push me, and I won’t push you. Dong le ma?
Joss Whedon
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.
Dorothy Parker (While Rome Burns)
Beatrix, do you know what happens to girls who ask such naughty questions?” “They’re ravished in haylofts?” she inquired hopefully.
Lisa Kleypas (Love in the Afternoon (The Hathaways, #5))
This must be part of Mother Nature's master plan—making these boys so irresistibly cute, in such a naughty way, that the purity of their intentions becomes irrelevant.
Rachel Cohn (Dash & Lily's Book of Dares (Dash & Lily, #1))
And there is my payment the rubies in your cheeks. Are you properly scandalized by your wicked behavior? If you were Catholic, you'd singe the ears of the priest you confessed to. Do you remember making me swear to repeat all those naughty actions agian, no matter what you said this morning?" Now that he brought it up, I did recall saying that. Great Betrayed by my own immorality. "God, Bones...some of that was depraved." "I'll take that as a compliment." He closed the distance between us."I love you. Don't be ashamed of anything we did, even if your prudery is on life support.
Jeaniene Frost (One Foot in the Grave (Night Huntress, #2))
Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married." He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words.
R.L. Mathewson (Perfection (Neighbor from Hell, #2))
Sophie said a bad word. In the dim light she had stubbed her toe on one of the many dusty bricks piled around the place. Naughty-naughty" Twinkle said. Oh shut up!" Sophie said , standing on one leg to hold her toe. "Why don't you grow up?
Diana Wynne Jones (House of Many Ways (Howl's Moving Castle, #3))
Graystorm: You know Firestar was also very naughty, just like you. Bramblepaw: Really? He seems to be very responsible! Graystorm: Yes. I was there when he was too stubborn to not help RiverClan
Erin Hunter
I don't just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they're naughty.
Craig Ferguson
Ah, there’s the governess voice. All stern and disapproving. It makes me feel like a naughty schoolboy.
Lisa Kleypas (Married By Morning (The Hathaways, #4))
So don't. Come hang out with me at work. We can play naughty dress up with the hospital gowns and rearrange the supply closets.
Rachel Vincent (Before I Wake (Soul Screamers, #6))
Pennsylvania." The boys nodded appreciatively, as if Abby had said Emily was from Naughty Dirty Sex Land
Sara Shepard (Unbelievable (Pretty Little Liars, #4))
And there are vampires, too? Werewolves, warlocks, all that stuff?" Clary gnawed her lower lip. "So I hear." "And you kill them, too?" Simon asked, directing the question to Jace, who had put the stele back in his pocket and was examining his flawless nails for defects. "Only when they've been naughty.
Cassandra Clare (City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments, #1))
There is something powerful in the whispering of obscenities, about those in power. There's something delightful about it, something naughty, secretive, forbidden, thrilling. It's like a spell, of sorts. It deflates them, reduces them to the common denominator where they can be dealt with.
Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid's Tale (The Handmaid's Tale, #1))
So." Noah said carefully. I was sitting up cross-legged and tangled in my sheets. "So." I said back "Would you like to hear about Curious George's new adventures?" I shook my head. "Are you sure?" Noah asked. "He's been such a naughty monkey." "Pass.
Michelle Hodkin
Two thoughts enter my head simultaneously. The first is: God hates me. The second is: I have been a naughty, naughty boy for most of my life, and this is my payback. And you know what they say about payback, right? Yep. She’s one hairy bitch.
Emma Chase (Tangled (Tangled, #1))
Bad boys needed love too. Her boys weren't dangerous- just naughty. But naughty could be very, very fun.
Marie Hall (Her Mad Hatter (Kingdom, #1))
You are such a bad boy." She tugged on the hair that brushed my collar. "I can be real bad. You haven't seen anything yet," I murmured, bending my head so I could take a nip at the soft skin at the back of her neck. "I'm not sure I could keep up with you. I'm extremely inexperienced. We are in completely different planets when it comes to sexual experience," her breathing was labored as I licked and kissed different sweet spots on her shoulders and collarbone. "I didn't say anything about sex, Eva," I grinned before kissing her jawline. "You're the naughty one who brought up sex.
Abbi Glines (While It Lasts (Sea Breeze, #3))
I'm afraid I couldn't like him without a spice of human naughtiness.
Louisa May Alcott (Little Women)
She gave his hand a small squeeze. "Jason, if we're going to try this then I'd like to take things slow." He frowned. "What I mean is nothing beyond the level we were at last night." She worried her lip between her teeth. "What I mean is no actual sex." He narrowed his eyes on her. "But, you'll still sleep with me naked and let me do a hundred other naughty things to you?" he asked in a serious tone. "Yes." He brushed his lips against hers again and moved back a few inches to look into her eyes. "And you'll still cook for me and call me Master?" Her lips twitched. "Yes to the cooking and not a chance in hell for the other." He sighed wearily. "Fine, how about Lord and Master?" "" "God?" "Nope." "My liege?" "" He gave her one of his lopsided smiles. "I'll wear you down eventually.
R.L. Mathewson (Playing for Keeps (Neighbor from Hell, #1))
Claudia, you've been a very very naughty little girl.
Anne Rice
Sometimes, the Angel [of Music] leans over the cradle... and that is how there are little prodigies who play the fiddle at six better than men of fifty, which, you must admit is very wonderful. Sometimes, the Angel comes much later, because the children are naughty and won't learn their lessons or practice their scales. And sometimes, he does not come at all, because the children have a wicked heart or a bad conscience.
Gaston Leroux (The Phantom of the Opera)
Weapons are allowed. Dirty tricks are expected. But try not to kill anybody!” Tantalus smiled at us like we were all naughty children. “Any killing will result in harsh punishment. No s’mores at the campfire for a week! Now ready your chariots!
Rick Riordan (The Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #2))
Lusty blacksmiths and naughty princesses. Now that's scary
Simon Holt (The Devouring (The Devouring, #1))
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
Chauncey Mitchell DePew
It is the custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can’t) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtinesses and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind; and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.
J.M. Barrie
Oh, there ain't no love, no Montagues or Capulets Just banging tunes and DJ sets And dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor
Alex Turner (Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm)
A man never owns a woman. He just borrows her from God, and looks after her on behalf of God.
Chance Carter (Most Eligible Baby Daddy (Naughty Boy Book 3))
She wouldn’t want to be caught on his bad side—assuming he had a good side—yet the naughty bad boy vibes were like an undercurrent pulling her in. Don’t-mess-with-me meets I-dare-you-to-resist.
Kelly Moran (Redemption (Cattenach Ranch, #1))
I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger.
R.L. Mathewson (Perfection (Neighbor from Hell, #2))
I love you so fucking much, my naughty, sweet Plum.
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Player (Beautiful Bastard, #3))
I think that others can drive a creature to naughtiness, always accusing and blaming them. After a while it must make the creature unhappy and drive be naughty, because nobody expects them to be good...
Brian Jacques (Outcast of Redwall (Redwall, #8))
NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither.
Terry Pratchett (Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4))
Alec drew his hand back with a low whistle. "The Inquisitor meant business." "Of course she did. I'm a dangerous criminal. Or hadn't you heard?" Jace heard the acid in his own tone, saw Alec flinch, and was meanly, momentarily, glad. "She didn't call you a criminal, exactly..." "No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I do all sorts of bad things. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nun
Cassandra Clare (City of Ashes (The Mortal Instruments, #2))
I really wish I could confirm to him that you do in fact have a penis. A very big and pretty penis,” Blaire whispered. I winced. “Please, just call it big. Don’t call it pretty. That hurts its feelings.
Abbi Glines (Forever Too Far (Rosemary Beach, #3; Too Far, #3))
Pulling out my cell phone, I sent Daemon a quick text. "What R U doing?" He responded a few moments later. "With Andrew & Matthew, getting dinner. Want smthing?" I glanced at the bag, recalling how flirty the dress was. Feeling naughty, I texted him: "You." The response was lightning quick, and I laughed. "Really?" And then, "Of course, I alrdy knew that.
Jennifer L. Armentrout (Opal (Lux, #3))
Alex the waiter was on my Spank Naughty list in third place, right after Henry Calvill the actor, then Henry Calvill as Superman. He was proof that God existed, and that God loved straight women.
Penny Reid (Love Hacked (Knitting in the City, #3))
Let's not get naughty. How about homicidal instead?
Lora Leigh (Wicked Pleasure (Bound Hearts, #9))
That was very naughty,” Hawke chided, snatching the sword out of my hand as if I hadn’t been holding onto it. “You are so incredibly violent.” He dipped his chin and whispered, “It still turns me on.
Jennifer L. Armentrout (From Blood and Ash (Blood and Ash, #1))
Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem. Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru [long silence from the other end of the phone] Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.
Natsuki Takaya
Dream Caroline and Dream Simon were some naughty kids.
Alice Clayton (Wallbanger (Cocktail, #1))
Syd, are you not wearing a bra?” Before I could answer, his hands drifted up further, until the fingertips brushed the swells of my breasts. “You’re not. Very naughty, Syd.
Jennifer L. Armentrout (Frigid (Frigid, #1))
When bananas blush, they turn brown, not red. And when tomatoes blush, you’ve probably said something really naughty.
Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
Never underestimate the naughtiness factor.
Eowyn Wood (Naked in the Rain)
Look! A riddle! Time for fun! Should we use a rope or gun? Knives are sharp and gleam so pretty Poison’s slow, which is a pity Fire is festive, drowning’s slow Hanging’s a ropy way to go A broken head, a nasty fall A car colliding with a wall Bombs make a very jolly noise Such ways to punish naughty boys! What shall we use? We can’t decide. Just like you cannot run or hide. Ha ha. Truly, Devious
Maureen Johnson (Truly Devious (Truly Devious, #1))
She also said the wicked people needed love as much as good people and were much better at it.
Alasdair Gray (Poor Things)
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
As cocky as this sounds, I knew I could walk onto that campus and get a date with the nearest available girl. Probably even a girl who wasn’t available, but with Avery, it was like trying to hit on a nun. And not a naughty nun.
J. Lynn (Trust in Me (Wait for You, #1.5))
In fact she was quite bad and according to Jas she was naughty at school, but no one seems to remember that now she is all dead and perfect.
Annabel Pitcher (My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece)
I couldn’t steal her from you because you never owned her. A man never owns a woman. He just borrows her from God, and looks after her on behalf of God.
Chance Carter (Most Eligible Baby Daddy (Naughty Boy Book 3))
Kenji turns to look at me. He manages a goofy smile. "Aw, you trust me?" "As long as I have a clear shot." I tighten my hold on the gun in my hand. His grin is crooked. "I don't know why, but I kind of like it when you threaten me." "That's because you're an idiot." "Nah." he shakes his head. "You've got a sexy voice. Makes everything sound naughty." Adam stands up so suddenly he nearly knocks over the coffee table.
Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1))
I love you. The words are always right there on the tip of my naughty tongue. I swallow them back like I need to and say something much more practical instead. “Have you ever been acquainted with your prostate?
Sarina Bowen (Him (Him, #1))
You used to get it in your fishnets Now you only get it in your nightdress Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness... ...Remeber when the boys were all electric?
Alex Turner (Favourite Worst Nightmare: (Guitar Tab)
By the time we have our fifth and sixth you'll be a pro." Kane teased. He nuzzled Sebastien head. " Do you hear that, son ? You're our experiment, so you'll have all sorts of excuses to do very naughty things.
Christine Feehan (Ruthless Game (GhostWalkers, #9))
I'd felt obligated to get Ian a Christmas present. A chunk of coal sat in a brightly wrapped box under the tree, his name written in big bold letters on the front of it. Ian might be family, but he still had been a very naughty boy this year.
Jeaniene Frost (The Bite Before Christmas (Argeneau, #15.5; Night Huntress, #6.5))
where I could make love endless nights through sleepy mornings with my boyfriend, a guy who had grown up in Connecticut and played lacrosse and the guitar and me, and who loved me with naughty desire, respect, and abandon.
Elizabeth Wurtzel (Prozac Nation)
I think our honeymoon is gonna be like naughty dream week on steroids.
Jillian Dodd (That Wedding (That Boy, #2))
Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was tidying up her children's minds. It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can't) you would see your own mother doing this and you would find it very interesting to watch. It's quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on Earth you picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek, as if it were a nice kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out the prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.
J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)
You are a fucking naughty girl,” I told her. “Or just a naughty girl you’re fucking,” she said and picked up one of the shots. You’re so much more than that, I thought. But I picked up the shot and raised it at her. “Bottoms up for now. You’re bottom’s up later when I smack the shit out of it.
Karina Halle (Come Alive (Experiment in Terror, #7))
He gives me one of those my-wife-needs-sex-addiction-therapy looks.
Laura Stamps (Still Naughty: The Life & Times of an Erotica Novelist (Memoir, #2))
It's so much more fun to be naughty... -A
Sara Shepard (Pretty Little Secrets: A Pretty Little Liars Collection (Pretty Little Liars, #4.5))
Do you want to know what I do to naughty girls?” She nods. “Anything I want.
Meghan March (Dirty Billionaire (The Dirty Billionaire Trilogy, #1))
What was it like the first time you saw me?" she asks. "What was it about me that made you want to ask me out? And tell me everything, even the bad thoughts." I laugh. "There weren't any bad thoughts. Naughty thoughts, maybe. But not bad." She grins. "Well then tell me those, too.
Colleen Hoover (This Girl (Slammed, #3))
Hello, sexy. I knew that you couldn't get through the night without me," Finn's smug, slightly sleepy voice filled my ear. "So why don't you tell me what you're wearing?" I rolled my eyes. Apparently, my foster brother hadn't bothered to check his caller ID before he picked up the phone. I wondered if this was how he answered all his late night calls, or if he was actually expecting to hear from Bria. I really hoped it was the second one. "What am I wearing? Well, right now it would be the blood of two giants, among other naughty unmentionables," I purred. "What does that do for you, sexy?" Silence. Then Finn cleared his throat. "Uh Gin? Did you dial my number by mistake? Shouldn't you be cooing these sweet, sweet nothings into Owen's ear instead of mine?
Jennifer Estep (By a Thread (Elemental Assassin, #6))
He laughs, sucking his lip ring into his mouth. "I promise I'll go easy on you." A naughty feeling dances inside me. "What if I don't want you to go easy on me?
Jessica Sorensen (The Secret of Ella and Micha (The Secret, #1))
Lucifer was engraving Nate’s name on a cage right now.
Kelly Moran (Redemption (Cattenach Ranch, #1))
well it about these really naughty girls they made this huge girls gand they stole stuff from shopes and stuff
Jacqueline Wilson (Bad Girls)
She would show HIM naughty...
Anne Taintor
My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your cunt, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore’s glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s cunt. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your cunt is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly. Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.
James Joyce (Selected Letters of James Joyce)
Imagine a landscape of nothing but astrology references and naughty limericks. That's what you're going to reduce me to.
Chloe Neill
Michael knew now what was happening to him. He knew he was going to be naughty.
P.L. Travers (Mary Poppins)
Wandering around at midnight, Ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty.
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Harry Potter, #1))
My son, Sam, at three and a half, had these keys to a set of plastic handcuffs, and one morning he intentionally locked himself out of the house. I was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper when I heard him stick his plastic keys into the doorknob and try to open the door. Then I heard him say, "Oh, shit." My whole face widened, like the guy in Edvard Munch's Scream. After a moment I got up and opened the front door. "Honey," I said, "what'd you just say?" "I said, 'Oh, shit,'" he said. "But, honey, that's a naughty word. Both of us have absolutely got to stop using it. Okay?" He hung his head for a moment, nodded, and said, "Okay, Mom." Then he leaned forward and said confidentially, "But I'll tell you why I said 'shit.'" I said Okay, and he said, "Because of the fucking keys!
Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life)
You know what, your imagination works faster than your mind.
Simona Panova (Nightmarish Sacrifice)
We were all trapped in stories, she said, just as he used to say, his wavy hair, his naughty smile, his beautiful mind, each of us the prisoner of our own solipsistic narrative, each family the captive of the family story, each community locked within its own tale of itself, each people the victims of their own versions of history, and there were parts of the world where the narratives collided and went to war, where there were two or more incompatible stories fighting for space on, to speak, the same page.
Salman Rushdie (Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights)
Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage? Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.
Janet Evanovich (Naughty Neighbor)
The opportunity was too perfect to miss. Harry crept silently around behind Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, bent down, and scooped a large handful of mud out of the path. 'We were just talking about your friend Hagrid,' Malfoy said to Ron. 'Just trying to imagine what he's saying to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. D'you think he'll cry when they cut off his hippogriff's—' SPLAT. Malfoy's head jerked back as the mud hit him; his silverblond hair was suddenly dripping in muck.
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Harry Potter, #3))
Someone's a very dirty Uncle."...."And a very naughty niece
G.A. Aiken (How to Drive a Dragon Crazy (Dragon Kin, #6))
Why are you such terrible parents?" I yell. "I don't know," Dad yells back. "Why are you such a naughty little spider?
Holly Smale (Geek Girl (Geek Girl, #1))
Okay, too much heavy. Piper looks like she needs a drink, and as her doctor, I’m saying she gets one, stat,” Lily said. “You aren’t a doctor,” Marcy pointed out the obvious. “No, but I have a naughty nurse outfit, and that’s basically the same thing. Now, booze, stat!
Layla Frost (Hyde and Seek (Hyde #1))
He probably ate girls like her for breakfast. They all did. They all had. She had no intention of being eaten for breakfast, ever again. Her naughty brain took that thought, twirled it around and had a party with it.
Shannon McKenna (Hot Night)
You're not worried about principles."Gabriel leaned closer, crowding her gently back against the column. His taunting whisper curled in her right ear like a wisp of smoke. "You're worried that you might do something naughty with me and enjoy it.
Lisa Kleypas (Devil in Spring (The Ravenels, #3))
Mitch thought she looked like an angel might—if the angel had fallen very hard into a very naughty position.
Lauren Stewart (Hyde (Hyde, #1))
Tell Crabby Abby he’s going to sit on the naughty chair if he sinks one more island,” Astrid said, catching her ball.
Jennifer Donnelly (Deep Blue (Waterfire Saga, #1))
Magic is a naughty beast.
Rob E. Boley (That Wicked Apple: Snow White & Even More Zombies (Scary Tales #2))
When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.
J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)
O sweet spontaneous earth how often have the doting fingers of prurient philosophers pinched and poked thee , has the naughty thumb of science prodded thy beauty . how often have religions taken thee upon their scraggy knees squeezing and buffeting thee that thou mightest conceive gods (but true to the incomparable couch of death thy rhythmic lover thou answerest them only with spring)
E.E. Cummings (100 Selected Poems)
Accepting necessary conflicts for the sake of improving the lives of children is the only fundamental moral crusade that matters.
Stefan Molyneux
You know,” he said, “this design begins to appeal to me after all. Sea slugs aren’t the least bit arousing, but logarithms . . . I’ve always thought that word sounded splendidly naughty.” He let it roll off his tongue with ribald inflection. “Logarithm.” He gave an exaggerated shiver. “Ooh. Yes and thank you and may I have some more.” “Lots of mathematical terms sound that way. I think it’s because they were all coined by men. ‘Hypotenuse’ is downright lewd.” “ ‘Quadrilateral’ brings rather carnal images to mind.” She was silent for a long time. Then one of her dark eyebrows arched. “Not so many as ‘rhombus.’ ” Good Lord. That word was wicked. Her pronunciation of it did rather wicked things to him. He had to admire the way she didn’t shrink from a challenge, but came back with a new and surprising retort. One day, she’d make some fortunate man a very creative lover.
Tessa Dare (A Week to Be Wicked (Spindle Cove, #2))
Bad boys needed love too. Her boys weren't dangerous-just naughty.
Marie Hall
I knew I should have changed your name from Nightie Girl to Naughty Girl.
Alice Clayton (Last Call (Cocktail, #4.5))
Picture yourself when you were five. in fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. she’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.
Kris Carr
Why are you naked?" "The better to feed you, m'dear." He pointed between his legs and my gaze roved along his cock. Then I saw his forefinger tapping his inner thigh. "Femoral artery." "Riiight. And the major vein in your neck wasn't good enough because… ?" One black brow winged up and those delicious lips curved into a naughty smile. "Ah. Because then I wouldn't have had an excuse to get naked.
Michele Bardsley (I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart #1))
There are other ways to get back at your phone you know, if it's being naughty, you could simply make it communicate in Japanese,put it on silent, or even take away its battery privileges.
Holly Denham (Holly's Inbox (Holly's Inbox #1))
I could barely manage myself sometimes, let alone some miniature kleinman person whose sole method of communication was crying. How would I know what she wanted? How would I keep her happy?
M.J. O'Shea (Stuff My Stocking: M/M Romance Stories that are Nice and… Naughty)
Is that what he was initiating, then? Playing roles? The libertine duke and the naughty serving girl? Well... After about two seconds' pause, Pauline decided she could get inspired for that.
Tessa Dare (Any Duchess Will Do (Spindle Cove, #4))
Are you enjoying your company so far?" "Yes! It's been a pleasure getting to know these ladies." "Are they all the sweet, gentle ladies they appear to be?" Gavril asked. Before Maxon replied, the answer brought a smile to my face. Because I knew that it was yes...sort of. "Umm..." Maxon looked past Gavril at me. "Almost." "Almost?" Gavril asked, surprised. He turned to us. "Is someone over there being naughty?" Mercifully, all the girls let out light giggles, so I blended in. The little traitor! "What exactly did these girls do that isn't so sweet?" Gavril asked Maxon. "Oh, well, let me tell you." Maxon crossed his legs and got very comfortable in his chair. It was probably the most relaxed I'd ever seen him, sitting there poking fun at me. I liked this side of him. I wished it would come out more often. "One of them had the nerve to yell at me rather forcefully the first time we met. I was given a very severe scolding." Above Maxon's head, the king and queen exchanged a glance. It seemed they were hearing this story for the first time, too. Beside me the girls were looking at one another, confused. I didn't get it until Marlee said something. "I don't remember anyone yelling at him in the Great Room. Do you?" Maxon seemed to have forgotten that our first meeting was meant to be a secret. "I think he's talking it up to make it funnier. I did say some serious things to him. I think he might mean me." "A scolding, you say? Whatever for?" Gavril continued. "Honestly, I wasn't really sure. I think it was a bout of homesickness. Which is why I forgave her, of course." Maxon was loose and easy now, talking to Gavril as if he were the only person in the room. I'd have to tell him later how wonderful he did. "So she's still with us, then?" Gavril looked over at the collection of girls, grinning widely, and then returned to face his prince. "Oh, yes. She's still here," Maxon said, not letting his eyes wander from Gavril's face. "And I plan on keeping her here for quite a while.
Kiera Cass (The Selection (The Selection, #1))
He had dirty-blond good looks to match a dirty-good smile. Yes, dirty. There was just enough twinkle in his smiling brown eyes to suggest there might be all manner of naughty-guy impulses rattling around that cute body of his.
Veronica Wolff (Isle of Night (The Watchers, #1))
Jolly good!" ... King [George VI] exclaimed [after Queen Elizabeth fired the gun at Hitler's photograph]. "You got him right in the n-n-n-naughty bits."... "Good," she said. "That's where I was aiming.
Susan Elia MacNeal (Princess Elizabeth's Spy (Maggie Hope Mystery, #2))
You're my girl, Tessa Crimson. You'll always be my girl." He brought me close to him and wrapped me up in his arms, staring down into my face. "And even if we aren't together, that won't change.
Suzanne Young (The Naughty List (The Naughty List, #1))
Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.
Katie MacAlister (It's All Greek to Me)
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. He was about to engage in some hellaciously naughty fornication.
Kendall Grey (Exhale (Just Breathe, #2))
He didn’t face her. “I said go away.” “Like I’m going to obey you. You aren’t my daddy. Unless you want to be. ’Cause I’ve been a bad, naughty girl and I need a spanking.
Gena Showalter (The Darkest Kiss (Lords of the Underworld, #2))
Amel slashes at the consonants so that they hop about like naughty children caught inside the sentence.
Fredrik Backman (A Man Called Ove)
Jesus, there’s something downright dirty about beards. Fucking naughty. All I can think about now is sex.
Kristen Callihan (The Game Plan (Game On, #3))
Naughty children have to be protected. Even if it's just from themselves.
Marika McCoola (Baba Yaga's Assistant)
COVID-19, are you going to be naughty or nice to me?
Steven Magee
Fine. I’ll go back to my room,” he says gruffly, his blazing eyes boring into mine. “Just know that I’ll be thinking very naughty thoughts and doing very naughty things to myself while I picture you naked and wet.
Claire Contreras (There is No Light in Darkness (Darkness, #1))
Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but unless you'd like to spend your watch looking for the box where your head is kept, resist the urge to wax ignorant on her naughty bits." -Pocket I don't know what that means, sir." -Yeoman Speak not of Regan's shaggacity, son" [...] -Pocket
Christopher Moore (Fool)
My pulse sped up at the thought of him and Becca wet and nearly naked. "Nothing happened beyond a bit of soaking." He tilted his head. "Well, no' between us. Some of the others, I could tell you stories." "Stories about who?" "Ah no, you won't get that for free. You have to be nice to me for two minutes straight." "I am nice to you." "I mean, really nice." He nudged my knee with his foot."Father Christmas might call it naughty, but he's a filthy old bugger.
Jeri Smith-Ready (Shade (Shade, #1))
He wanted women to love him, all women, beginning with his mother and going on from there. Therefore, whenever any woman got mad at him, he felt maternal disapproval crashing down upon his shoulders, as if he'd been a naughty boy.
Jeffrey Eugenides (The Marriage Plot)
Would you like to sit?" Kellen asked her. "You'd better do it soon," Owen whispered close to her ear, "or I'm going to bend you over that table and break the club's no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.
Olivia Cunning (Touch Me (One Night with Sole Regret, #4))
It was still mild when they walked home from the party, and Irene looked up at the spring stars. "How far that little candle throws its beams," she exclaimed. "So shines a good dead in a naughty world.
John Cheever (The Stories of John Cheever)
One day, when he was naughty, Mr. Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred’s field and saw it was full of fresh green lettuces. Mr. Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair.
Terry Pratchett (The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (Discworld, #28))
Men are like children, in that, if you spoil them, they become naughty. Therefore it is well not to be too indulgent or charitable with anyone. You may take it as a general rule that you will not lose a friend by refusing him a loan, but that you are very likely to do so by granting it; and, for similar reasons, you will not readily alienate people by being somewhat proud and careless in your behavior; but if you are very kind and complaisant towards them, you will often make them arrogant and intolerable, and so a breach will ensue.
Arthur Schopenhauer (The Wisdom of Life and Counsels and Maxims)
Edwina always enjoyed a morning ride. Some mornings she rode the horse, and some mornings she rode the groom.
Barbara Taylor Bradford (Her Own Rules)
Desire is naughty and doesn't conform to our ideals, which is why we have such a need of them. Desire mocks all human endeavour and makes it worthwhile. Desire is the original anarchist and undercover agent – no wonder people want it arrested and kept in a safe place. And just when we think we've got desire under control it lets us down or fills us with hope. Desire makes me laugh because it makes fools of us all.
Hanif Kureishi (Intimacy)
Lazy Lob and crazy Cob are weaving webs to wind me. I am far more sweet than other meat, but still they cannot find me! Here am I, naughty little fly; you are fat and lazy. You cannot trap me, though you try, in your cobwebs crazy.
J.R.R. Tolkien
It was that surrender he needed. That complete feminine submission to every stroke, every caress, ever naughty act. Only in that submission would the subconscious trust, the bond he needed between them, come. He wanted her to trust, to know, to instinctively understand that he was more than just her lover; he was her other half. The one she told her secrets to. The one, she made secrets with.
Lora Leigh
Are you scared?" she purrs. "Been too long? Out of practice?" Her head cocks to the side, a bad-girl grin on her face. And then her words register. Too scared to shag her? I can't even dignify that with a response. I can't even sputter. And then she gives me a purple-nurple, twisting my nipple. "Oy!" I grab her wrist, the mad little cat. I should spank her arse for that. Suddenly my towel is gone and my body is announcing just how much I've enjoyed her naughty act, complete with the ripping-off-of-the-towel finale.
Wendy Higgins (Sweet Temptation (Sweet, #4))
Whip ‘em out boys. We’ll measure them right here and now.
N.M. Facile (Across The Hall)
One naughty little woodpecker Another day pecking your holes Ruining the the forest, tree wrecker The angry wood god turned your little beak into a poison knife Poor little wood pecker, your nesting holes are all tainted Your foods with toxins rife Touch your friends, and they all will die falling to your feet Oh, sad little woodpecker Poisonous tears, shining brightly as they stream down your cheeks
I’ll tell you a thing that will shock you. It will certainly shock the readers of Writer’s Digest. What I often do nowadays when I have to, say, describe a room, is to take a page of a dictionary, any page at all, and see if with the words suggested by that one page in the dictionary I can build up a room, build up a scene. … I even did it in a novel I wrote called MF. There’s a description of a hotel vestibule whose properties are derived from Page 167 in R.J. Wilkinson’s Malay-English Dictionary. Nobody has noticed. … As most things in life are arbitrary anyway, you’re not doing anything naughty, you’re really normally doing what nature does, you’re just making an entity out of the elements. I do recommend it to young writers.
Anthony Burgess
The cold night air outside was like a slap in the face. If I wasn't in Naughty Girl Martini Land, I would have sobered instantly. Unfortunately, I was deep in Naughty Girl Martini Land. So deep, I was skipping dazedly through the Naughty Girl Martini forest and leaping over the Naughty Girl Martini streams, completely oblivious to everything.
Kristen Ashley (Rock Chick Redemption (Rock Chick, #3))
I’m your uncle?” Oh. So that’s what was bothering him. Izzy could have done a lot of things at this moment to assuage Eibhear’s annoyance. A lot of things. She didn’t do any of them. Instead she said, “Well…you are my uncle.” She brushed a bit of nonexistent dirt off his bare shoulder. “And I was your ward until years later when you finally had your vile, dirty uncle way with me.” ”Izzy.
G.A. Aiken (How to Drive a Dragon Crazy (Dragon Kin, #6))
...You would be 'my boy', belonging to me alone, and I'd be faithful to you." "Homecoming
Keegan Kennedy
The second thing which made speechless--a state my dad would have found amusing--was the fact Mr. Hunky gave me a masculine grin--a naughty one which made me cream my panties--and said in a velvety baritone, “Run along, sweetheart. I’ve got this.” Me, one of Hell’s most successful bounty hunters, dismissed with a smile and a wave of his hand. His treatment made me want to tear his pants off and ride him like a cowgirl--I mean, he’d called me sweetheart, how hot was that?--while at the same time making me see red. I’m gonna wipe the smirk off his face. Then I’m gonna kiss him. Then..
Eve Langlais (Last Minion Standing)
Typical artist,' said Granny. 'He just painted the showy stuff in the front... And what about these cherubs? We're not going to get them too, are we? I don't like to see little babies flying through the air.' 'They turn up in a lot of old paintings,' said Nanny Ogg. 'They put them in to show it's Art and not just naughty pictures of ladies with not many clothes on.' 'Well, they're not fooling ME,' said Granny Weatherwax.
Terry Pratchett (Wintersmith (Discworld, #35; Tiffany Aching, #3))
But if you caught my informant,' said Achilles, 'why in the world would Chamrajnagar—or Graff, if it was him—launch the shuttle anyway? Was catching me doing something naughty so important they’d risk a shuttle and it’s crew just to catch me? I find that quite… flattering. Sort of like winning the Nobel Prize for scariest villain.
Orson Scott Card (Shadow Puppets (The Shadow Series, #3))
The door opened and Gideon walked in. I held his gaze when I said, "If Gideon's dick touched anything but his hand or me, we'd be over." His brows rose. "Well, then." I smiled sweetly and winked. "Hi, ace." "Angel." He looked at Cary. "How are you feeling this morning?" Cary's lips twisted wryly. "Like I got hit by a bus. . . or a bat." "We're working on getting you set up at home. It looks like we can make that happen by Wednesday." "Big tits, please," Cary said. "Or bulging muscles. Either will do." Gideon looked at me. I grinned. "The private nurse." "Ah." "If it's a woman," Cary went on, "can you get her to wear one of those white nurse dresses with the zipper down the front." "I can only imagine the media frenzy over that sexual-harassment lawsuit," Gideon said dryly. "How about a collection of naughty-nurse porn instead?" "Dude." Cary smiled wide and looked, for a moment, like his old self. "You're the man." Chapter 12, pg 214
Sylvia Day (Reflected in You (Crossfire, #2))
Trevor, let's go upstairs and take a really hot bath with extra bubbles so that my skin gets all sudsy and slippery so you can run your incredibly gifted naughty hands over me while we see how many times you can make me come before the water gets cold
R.L. Mathewson
If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it, or you're up to something.
Saleem Sharma
The hurt that troubled children create is never greater than the hurt they feel.
L. Tobin
He liked the girls, liked to hold them around the waist, felt like a man when he did. But as for talking with them, no, no! Then he felt as though he were dealing with another species of human being, in some cases a higher one, in others a lower. He secretly admired the weak, pale, little girl and had picked her to be his wife. That was still the only way he could think of a woman - as a wife. He danced in a very chaste and proper manner, but he heard awful stories about his pals, stories he didn't understand until later. They could dance the waltz backwards around the room in a very indecent way, and they told naughty stories about the girls.
August Strindberg (The Son of a Servant)
There’s always tomorrow.” “Exactly,” she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn’t starve to death, she decided. Maybe she’d eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut.
Janet Evanovich (Naughty Neighbor)
Mercer opens hi mouth to argue, and Bastion Banister chooses this moment to open his mouth and snap at the circling bee. To his own evident surprise, he captures it, and there’s a curious little glonking noise as he swallows it whole. Mercer cringes slightly, as if expecting the dog to explode. Nothing happens. “All right,” Polly Cradle says, and then, pro forma, “Bastion, you’re a very naughty boy.” “Yes,” Mercer says acidly. “The dog has consumed a possibly lethal technological device of immense sophistication, deprived us of our only piece of tangible evidence and possibly doomed us all to some sort of arcane scientific retaliative strike. By all means, chide him severely with your voice. That will solve everyone’s problems.
Nick Harkaway (Angelmaker)
Mother Goose will show newcomers to this world how astonishing, beautiful, capricious, dancy, eccentric, funny, goluptious, haphazard, intertwingled, joyous, kindly, loving, melodious, naughty, outrageous, pomsidillious, querimonious, romantic, silly, tremendous, unexpected, vertiginous, wonderful, x-citing, yo-heave-ho-ish, and zany it is.
Iona Opie (My Very First Mother Goose)
No the world's too crazy, it might never come true But before I give up I'm gonna fight for you My heart beats fast and my face is all flushed Darn I'd marry you tomorrow, I don't wanna seemed rushed.
Barry Louis Polisar (Naughty Songs for Boys and Girls)
Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo (Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.)
Oodles of noodles help blue poodles mit der strudel.
Berkeley Breathed (Bloom County Babylon: Five Years of Basic Naughtiness)
Kelly?” Owen called, “You want breakfast?” “Does Gabe have pants on yet?” “I’m on it,” Gabe promised. “Then yeah.
Olivia Cunning (A Very Naughty Xmas)
You just have to promise me one thing. Promise you won’t ever let me down.” “I won’t.” “Don’t ever let me go.” “I promise, I won’t.” “Don’t disappear, like my mother did.
Chance Carter (Most Eligible Baby Daddy (Naughty Boy Book 3))
A good marriage is a lot harder than most people realize. A strong relationship takes everything, and it’s rare to find someone willing to give everything these days. So
Chance Carter (Heart of the Hunter (Naughty Boy, #4))
A woman is like an angel in our life. Without them, everything’s cold and hard and empty.
Chance Carter (Most Eligible Baby Daddy (Naughty Boy Book 3))
If just one person has done it, it can be done. by V.L. Marshall
Verity Louise Marshall (Hard Money: The Naked Truth Behind the Red Light)
The universe has an itch, and I have been called upon to scratch it.
James Halat (The Story of Teddy and Eddie)
Chase punched a code into the keypad above the elevator call button, and the doors to the service elevator slid open. “The code is 6969.” “How will I ever remember that?” I teased.
Vi Keeland (Bossman)
I loved lingerie. I loved the feel of satin and silk on my skin. I loved the juxtaposition of wearing a pair of two-hundred-dollar lace panties under blue jeans, like the pair I was wearing at the moment. Lingerie was a personal statement that you didn't have to declare to the world. You could be as demure or as naughty as you wanted to be, and no one ever had to know unless you showed them... or were injured in a serious car accident.
Molly Harper (How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf (Naked Werewolf, #1))
I got a demerit, professor." There was a kind of naughty amusement in her eyes that I found myself really liking. I smiled slowly. "Why did you do, Miss Dearly?" "She henpecked Elpinoy in a most spectacular fashion," Renfield offered. "I think at one point she was actually hanging on his back." Nora made a sound of annoyance. "Alas, I was looking at a computer screen with Dr. Samedi at the time, and thus I'm afraid that neither of us can vouch for this with certainty." The laughter bubbled out of me before I could hold it back. "Were you?" I asked her. "Define 'hanging.'" "Bra,." Elpinoy appeared in one of the lab doorways. He gestured to the exterior doors. "Take her out. Now. Never in my life have I encountered such a little-" "Lady?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face. "Out." "'Phone call,'" Nora said, affecting his tone of voice and looking right at him. "'Let-ter.'" "Not until Wolfe orders it!" Elpinoy marched into his lab again and slammed the door behind him. Nora stood up, her skirt bouncing a bit atop its puffy petticoat. "That man is an infuriating ponce." "And you're an excellent judge of character.
Lia Habel (Dearly, Departed (Gone With the Respiration, #1))
Why are you naked?" "The better to feed you, m'dear." Then I saw his forefinger tapping his inner thigh. "Femoral artery." "Riiight. And the major vein in your neck wasn't good enough because… ?" One black brow winged up and those delicious lips curved into a naughty smile. "Ah. Because then I wouldn't have had an excuse to get naked." "Or get chained to a wall." "Hmmm.
Michele Bardsley (I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart #1))
I believe sometimes medical issues just happen--they're not cosmic tests; they're not retribution for all the naughty things you've done over a lifetime. It's not some moral righting of the universe. It's just something going wonky with the wiring...And I think God cries when we're in pain; he cries with us and he supports us. But I also believe he stands back and lets us sort things out. Lets the doctors do their work. Lets your body heal itslef.
Kate Jacobs (The Friday Night Knitting Club (Friday Night Knitting Club, #1))
I'll save the sacking for later," he continues. "We can mimic the plays of our conjugal union in the privacy of my backyard. We can roll around on the lawn like animals and invent our own naughty games-Naked Leap Frog-Marshal May I-Hide the Peak-Red Light, Green Light District-Obstacle Intercourse-Hot Lava-Capture the Sector-Skyla Says-the possibilities are endless. Our throbbing loins will rep the victory. The entire scenario is, as you would say-made of win."~ Marshall
Addison Moore (Toxic Part One (Celestra, #7))
My dear, I could hardly keep still in my chair. I wanted to dash out of the house and leap in a taxi and say, "Take me to Charles's unhealthy pictures." Well, I went, but the gallery after luncheon was so full of absurd women in the sort of hats they should be made to eat, that I rested a little--I rested here with Cyril and Tom and these saucy boys. Then I came back at the unfashionable time of five o'clock, all agog, my dear; and what did I find? I found, my dear, a very naughty and very successful practical joke. It reminded me of dear Sebastian when he liked so much to dress up in false whiskers. It was charm again, my dear, simple, creamy English charm, playing tigers.
Evelyn Waugh (Brideshead Revisited)
If Nana thinks you're trying to scam her, she'll tell you, and if she thinks you ruined her life by discontinuing Arnold's Thin bread, she'll let you know that, too. I guess when you spend eighty-seven years swallowing other people's bullshit, there comes a time when you gotta spit some back.
Laurie Notaro (An Idiot Girl's Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List)
Education is like Christmas. We’re all just opening our gifts, one at a time. And it is a fact that each and every child has a bright shiny present with her name on it, waiting there underneath the tree. God wrapped it up, and he’ll let us know when it’s time to unwrap it. In the meantime, we must believe that our children are okay. Every last one of them. The straight-A ones and the ones with autism and the naughty ones and the chunky ones and the shy ones and the loud ones and the so-far-behind ones.
Glennon Doyle Melton (Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed)
You took advantage of me while I was sleeping," she said breathlessly. "That's not fair." Gentry's hand moved over her hip in a slow circle."I seldom play fair. It's usually easier to cheat." A sudden laugh bubbled in Lottie's throat. "You are the most shameless man I've ever encountered." "Probably," he conceded, pushing her hair aside and lowering his smiling mouth to the back of her neck.
Lisa Kleypas (Worth Any Price (Bow Street Runners, #3))
At the time I attended a private Catholic school called Maryville College. I was the champion of the Maryville sports day every single year and my mother won the mom's trophy every single year. Why? Because she was always chasing me to kick my ass and I was always running not to get my ass kicked. Nobody ran like me and my mom. She wasn't one of those "Come over here and get your hiding [beating]" type of moms. She delivered to you free of charge. She was a thrower too. Whatever was next to her was coming at you. If it was something breakable, I had to catch it and put it down. If it broke, that would be my fault too and the ass-kicking would be that much worse. If she threw a vase at me, I'd had to catch it, put it down and then run. In a split-second I'd have to think "Is it valuable? Yes. Is it breakable? Yes. Catch it, put it down. Now run!" We had a very Tom and Jerry relationship, me and my mom. She was the strict disciplinarian, I was naughty as shit.
Trevor Noah (Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood)
Shigure Sohma: So, anyway, I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is, if it isn't a problem. Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm? What's this, Hatori? I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru? [long silence from the other end of the phone] Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it! You naughty, naughty man, you! Hatori Sohma: No, I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.
Natsuki Takaya
It was 1976. It was one of the darkest days of my life when that nurse, Mrs. Shimmer, pulled out a maxi pad that measured the width and depth of a mattress and showed us how to use it. It had a belt with it that looked like a slingshot that possessed the jaw-dropping potential to pop a man's head like a gourd. As she stretched the belt between the fingers of her two hands, Mrs. Shimmer told us becoming a woman was a magical and beautiful experience. I remember thinking to myself, You're damn right it had better be magic, because that's what it's going to take to get me to wear something like that, Tinkerbell! It looked like a saddle. Weighed as much as one, too. Some girls even cried. I didn't. I raised my hand. "Mrs. Shimmer," I asked the cautiously, "so what kind of security napkins do boys wear when their flower pollinates? Does it have a belt, too?" The room got quiet except for a bubbling round of giggles. "You haven't been paying attention, have you?" Mrs. Shimmer accused sharply. "Boys have stamens, and stamens do not require sanitary napkins. They require self control, but you'll learn that soon enough." I was certainly hoping my naughty bits (what Mrs. Shimmer explained to us was like the pistil of a flower) didn't get out of control, because I had no idea what to do if they did.
Laurie Notaro (The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life)
The gist of it was that there were two types of men who absconded from their marriages: the naughty and the needy. The naughty absconder was a simple dick-driven creature who just couldn't help himself. However much he might love his family, it always came second to his main object in life, namely, chasing women. The needy absconder was basically insecure and forever trying to prove to himself how much everybody loved him. His family was, in effect, one big love machine that needed his constant control and attention. When his kids grew older and got lives of their own and didn't need him so much, he suddenly got scared and felt old and useless. So he ran off to look for a new love machine someplace else.
Nicholas Evans (The Divide)
The memory of him tracing the lines of my face filled me. I remembered the touch of his sensitive fingers, following my jawline, running down my neck to follow the curves of my body. I remembered his warmth, his laughter, and his eyes sparkling when I twisted a phrase to mean something entirely new and naughty. I remembered the way he made me feel needed, appreciated for who and what I was, never having to apologize for it, and the contentment I found in sharing ourselves. We’d been happy together. It had been great.
Kim Harrison (A Fistful of Charms (The Hollows, #4))
There is something powerful in the whispering of obscenities, about those in power. There's something delightful about it, something naughty, secretive, forbidden, thrilling. It's like a spell, of sorts. It deflates them, reduces them to the common denominator where they can be dealt with. In the paint of the washroom cubicle someone unknown had scratched: Aunt Lydia sucks. It was like a flag waved from a hilltop in rebellion. The mere idea of Aunt Lydia doing such a thing was in itself heartening. So now I imagine, among these Angels and their drained white brides, momentous grunts and sweating, damp furry encounters; or, better, ignominious failures, cocks like three-week-old carrots, anguished fumblings upon flesh cold and unresponding as uncooked fish.
Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid's Tale (The Handmaid's Tale, #1))
weren't we all the same as children?" eiko asked. "all of us, destined to become beautiful brides in fluffy white dresses!" she giggled to herself. "where did we go wrong?" isn't that what keeps life interesting?" i replied. "and who knows? next year you could be somebody's wife. no one knows what will happen." sometimes i think it would be wonderful just to stay the way i am forever, just kick back and space out during the afternoon thinking about all the exciting things that the night will bring, all the naughty things i might take part in." she snickered again. well," i said, "aren't you the happy one." she squinted her tiny nose and laughed. dawn was breaking as we said good-bye. i saw her off by watching her small body disappear into the background, her high heels clapping along, echoing in the early morning city. my drunkenness, the sunrise, the bright sky, and a friend who was leaving. if i had died in my fall i would have missed that morning - that splendid sunrise over tokyo.
Banana Yoshimoto
They’re like little boys, men. Sometimes of course they’re rather naughty and you have to pretend to be angry with them. They attach so much importance to such entirely unimportant things that it’s really touching. And they’re so helpless. Have you never nursed a man when he’s ill? It wrings your heart. It’s just like a dog or a horse. They haven’t got the sense to come in out of the rain, poor darlings. They have all the charming qualities that accompany general incompetence. They’re sweet and good and silly, and tiresome and selfish. You can’t help liking them, they’re so ingenuous, and so simple. They have no complexity or finesse. I think they’re sweet, but it’s absurd to take them seriously.
W. Somerset Maugham (The Constant Wife)
Young people have a marvelous faculty of either dying or adapting themselves to circumstances. Even if they are unhappy - very unhappy - it is astonishing how easily they can be prevented from finding it out, or at any rate from attributing it to any other cause than their own sinfulness. To parents who wish to lead a quiet life I would say: Tell your children that they are naughty - much naughtier than most children. Point to the young people of some acquaintances as models of perfection and impress your own children with a deep sense of their own inferiority. You carry so many more guns than they do that they cannot fight you. This is called moral influence, and it will enable you to bounce them as much as you please. They think you know and they will not have yet caught you lying often enough to suspect that you are not the unworldly and scrupulously truthful person which you represent yourself to be; nor yet will they know how great a coward you are, nor how soon you will run away if they fight you with persistency and judgment. You keep the dice and throw them both for your children and yourself. Load them then, for you can easily manage to stop your children from examining them. Tell them how singularly indulgent you are; insist on the incalculable benefit you conferred upon them, firstly in bringing them into the world at all, but more particularly in bringing them into it as your own children rather than anyone else's... You hold all the trump cards, or if you do not you can filch them; if you play them with anything like judgment you will find yourselves heads of happy, united, God-fearing families... True, your children will probably find out all about it some day, but not until too late to be of much service to them or inconvenience to yourself.
Samuel Butler (The Way of All Flesh)
And you are?” She fluttered her hand over her face and brushed a wisp of light brown hair from her brow. The governor calls me Kitty. It’d probably be best if you did, too.” What an alluring name? It makes me think of a cat with its lips covered by a luscious coat of cream.” Jack stared at Kitty’s mouth, and his tongue tingled at the idea of tasting her rich, flavorful lust. She giggled and wove her hand through the crook in his arm. The soft swell of her breast bumped against his arm. “Oh, you’re naughty, but I love the alluring image.” Then, I hope you’ll let me have a taste later.” He didn’t crowd her but allowed her to step back. She led him across the entranceway to a door on the other side. Remember she’s a princess.
Anita Philmar
And then we heard a branch break. It might have been a deer, but the Colonel busted out anyway. A voice directly behind us said, "Don't run, Chipper," and the Colonel stopped, turned around, and returned to us sheepishly. The Eagle walked toward us slowly, his lips pursed in disgust. He wore a white shirt and a black tie, like always. He gave each of us in turn the Look of Doom. "Y'all smell like a North Carolina tobacco field in a wildfire," he said. We stood silent. I felt disproportionately terrible, like I had just been caught fleeing the scene of a murder. Would he call my parents? "I'll see you in Jury tomorrow at five," he announced, and then walked away. Alaska crouched down, picked up the cigarette she had thrown away, and started smoking again. The Eagle wheeled around, his sixth sense detecting Insubordination To Authority Figures. Alaska dropped the cigarette and stepped on it. The Eagle shook his head, and even though he must have been crazy mad, I swear to God he smiled. "He loves me," Alaska told me as we walked back to the dorm circle. "He loves all y'all, too. He just loves the school more. That's the thing. He thinks busting us is good for the school and good for us. It's the eternal struggle, Pudge. The Good versus the Naughty." "You're awfully philosophical for a girl that just got busted," I told her. "Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war.
John Green (Looking for Alaska)
From the pocket of her robe she pulled out the ring he’d given her, she put it over her finger, sliding it back and forth over her knuckle. “Can I tell you something?” Dad asked. “Yes. Please.” “Any promise you make, whether it’s to your school, or your family, or to Billy, half of the promise is commitment and the other half, is faith. Faith that your commitment is enough. There’s no answer, honey. None.” She stared down at her ring, his words like bells ringing in her head.
Molly O'Keefe (Naughty & Nice: Room at the Inn / All I Want for Christmas is You / One Perfect Christmas)
She spun to face him. “Listen, Hellboy, we need to make this quick. I have garage sales to hit and naughty souls to claim. Decide.” “I do not understand.” Was this goddess tormenting him for sport? Why did she call him “Hellboy?” How very rude! She poked at his bare chest with a razor sharp fingernail. “You hate taking orders.” Sì, true. After all, I am vampire. “And even if you decided to listen like a good little boy, the odds of pulling this off are slim to none.” I happen to excel at all things impossible. I am a vampire! “So don’t come crying if you end up in your queen’s dungeon…” Vampires do not cry, silly woman. “Tortured three times a day for all eternity, which is where you have a ninety-nine point nine, nine, nine percent chance of landing if you don’t do exactly as I say.” Actually, those numbers are quite encouraging. He thought his odds were somewhere between pigs flying and hell freezing over. “Buon. I understand. Tell me what you saw, what I must do.
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff (Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2))
Turkish Delight Turkish delight has had a bad reputation since that man C.S.Lewis - a positive genius in other ways - linked it for ever with one of the most terrifying creations in literature, the White Witch of Narnia, and that naughty, sticky, traitorous Edmund. But with the sensuous pleasure imbued in its melting, gelatinous texture, and, when made in the proper way, delicately perfumed with rose petals, flavoured with oils and dusted with sugar, it reclaims its power as a sweet as seductive as Arabian nights. The fact that it now carries with it a whiff of danger merely adds to its pleasure. It is not, truly, a sweet for children. They simply complain, and get the almonds stuck up their noses,
Jenny Colgan (Welcome to Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop of Dreams (Rosie Hopkins' Sweet Shop, #1))
Cinderella was such a dork. She left behind her glass slipper at the ball and then went right back to her stemonster's house. It seems to me she sho8ld have worn the glass slipper always, to make herself easier to find. I always hoped that after the prince found Cinderella and they rode away in their magnificant carriage, after a few miles she turned to him and said, "Could you drop me off down the road please? Now that I've finally escaped my life of horrific abuse, I'd like to see something of the world, you know? ...I'll catch back up with you later, Prince, once I've found my own way. Anyone tell you that you grew up to be sort of cute? In like a misfit type of way? The secret tactic f a good bargainer is to know when to compromise You have to trust the words. They do not create anything more than themselves. And while sometimes delights can be tiresome, mostly they re ..Pure, They're burnished by their own hopes This must be part of Mother Nature's master plan- making these boys so irresistibly cute, in such a naughty way, that the purity of their intentions becomes irrelevant. I am trying to embrace danger
Rachel Cohn (Dash & Lily's Book of Dares (Dash & Lily, #1))
But it would be pretty weird being married and living separately, don't you think?" "Married?" she practically screeched, not sounding all that pleased, which left him feeling a little offended. "We're not getting married." He snorted at that. "I may have let you have your naughty little way with me for the past couple of months, but that doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to keep treating me like some dirty little boy toy. If you want to live with me then I expect you to put a ring on my finger," he said, holding up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger to punctuate his words. "Naught little...," she mumbled, shaking her head in disbelief as she tightened her hold on her towel and dropped into an overstuffed chair. "Oh my god, you really are insane." "Probably," he said with a shrug, "but don't worry I doubt it's hereditary so the baby should be fine.
R.L. Mathewson (Perfection (Neighbor from Hell, #2))
Myriads of professing Christians nowadays seem utterly unable to distinguish things that differ. Like people afflicted with colour-blindness, they are incapable of discerning what is true and what is false, what is sound and what is unsound. If a preacher of religion is only clever and eloquent and earnest, they appear to think he is all right, however strange and heterogeneous his sermons may be. They are destitute of spiritual sense, apparently, and cannot detect error. Popery or Protestantism, an atonement or no atonement, a personal Holy Ghost or no Holy Ghost, future punishment or no future punishment, ‘high church’ or ‘low church’ or ‘broad church,’ Trinitarianism, Arianism, or Unitarianism—nothing comes amiss to them; they can swallow it all, even if they cannot digest it! Carried away by a fancied liberality and charity, they seem to think everybody is right and nobody is wrong, every clergyman is sound and none are unsound, everybody is going to be saved and nobody going to be lost. Their religion is made of negatives; and the only positive thing about them is that they dislike distinctness and think all extreme and decided and positive views are very naughty and very wrong!
J.C. Ryle (Holiness:Its Nature, Hindrances, Difficulties, and Roots (J. C. Ryle Collection Book 1))
If you’d rather skip lunch, that’s fine with me. I’ve got some things to take care of anyway before I can leave the store to Robin for the weekend.” “I don’t want to skip lunch,” he bit out. “I’m starving.” Her temper got the better of her. “Fine, but if you plan on snapping at me the whole time then I’d just as soon you eat alone.” His gaze darkened. “I’m not snapping.” She poked him in the chest. “Yes, you are.” Leo started to speak, then paused and let out a huge breath. “Sorry. Damn, I’m just having one of those days.” Amanda smiled and patted his cheek. “You can tell me all about it over a bowl of fettuccine.
Anne Rainey (A Little Bit Naughty (Tahoe Nights, #1))
I'll be right here. Good luck, or break a leg, or something.” As Jay and Gregory turned and headed into the crowd, my traitorous eyes returned to the corner and found another pair or eyes staring darkly back. I dropped my gaze for three full seconds, and then lifted my eyes again, hesitant. The drummer was still staring at me, oblivious to the three girls trying to win back his attention. He put up one finger at the girls and said something that looked like, “Excuse me.” Oh, my goodness. Was he...? Oh, no. Yes, he was walking this way. My nerves shot into high alert. I looked around, but nobody else was near. When I looked back up, there he was, standing right in front of me. Good gracious, he was sexy-a word that had not existed in my personal vocabulary until that moment. This guy was sexy like it was his job or something. He looked straight into my eyes, which threw me off guard, because nobody ever looked me in the eye like that. Maybe Patti and Jay, but they didn't hold my stare like he was doing now. He didn't look away, and I found that I couldn't take my gaze off those blue eyes. “Who are you?” he asked in a blunt, almost confrontational way. I blinked. It was the strangest greeting I'd ever received. “I'm...Anna.” “Right. Anna. How very nice.” I tried to focus on his words and not his luxuriously accented voice, which made everything sound lovely. He leaned in closer. “But who are you?” What did that mean? Did I need to have some sort of title or social standing to enter his presence? “I just came with my friend Jay?” Oh, I hated when I got nervous and started talking in questions. I pointed in the general direction of the guys, but he didn't take his eyes off me. I began rambling. “They just wrote some songs. Jay and Gregory. That they wanted you to hear. Your band, I mean. They're really...good?” His eyes roamed all around my body, stopping to evaluate my sad, meager chest. I crossed my arms. When his gaze landed on that stupid freckle above my lip, I was hit by the scent of oranges and limes and something earthy, like the forest floor. It was pleasant in a masculine way. “Uh-huh.” He was closer to my face now, growling in that deep voice, but looking into my eyes again. “Very cute. And where is your angel?” My what? Was that some kind of British slang for boyfriend? I didn't know how to answer without continuing to sound pitiful. He lifted his dark eyebrows, waiting. “If you mean Jay, he's over there talking to some man in a suit. But he's not my boyfriend or my angel or whatever.” My face flushed with heat and I tightened my arms over my chest. I'd never met anyone with an accent like his, and I was ashamed of the effect it had on me. He was obviously rude, and yet I wanted him to keep talking to me. It didn't make any sense. His stance softened and he took a step back, seeming confused, although I still couldn't read his emotions. Why didn't he show any colors? He didn't seem drunk or high. And that red thing...what was that? It was hard not to stare at it. He finally looked over at Jay, who was deep in conversation with the manager-type man. “Not your boyfriend, eh?” He was smirking at me now. I looked away, refusing to answer. “Are you certain he doesn't fancy you?” Kaidan asked. I looked at him again. His smirk was now a naughty smile. “Yes,” I assured him with confidence. “I am.” “How do you know?” I couldn't very well tell him that the only time Jay's color had shown mild attraction to me was when I accidentally flashed him one day as I was taking off my sweatshirt, and my undershirt got pulled up too high. And even then it lasted only a few seconds before our embarrassment set in.
Wendy Higgins (Sweet Evil (Sweet, #1))
Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts. I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies. “You're right,” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad? Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now. He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest. I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.” “So if I'm not wearing clothes...” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.
Lilly Avalon (Here All Along)