“
I was stronger than Edward. I'd made him say ow.
”
”
Stephenie Meyer (Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga, #4))
“
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.
'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'
“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”
She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
”
”
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter, #7))
“
I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie’s cheek.
“FUCK,” he shouted, wiping it off. “What if you killed me!” He threw a Skittle at my face. It hit my forehead.
“Ow!”
“Taste the rainbow bitch.
”
”
Michelle Hodkin (The Retribution of Mara Dyer (Mara Dyer, #3))
P.C. Cast (Marked (House of Night, #1))
“
It's not everyday I get to tell someone I was attacked by a pair of flying reading glasses. Ow"
-PUCK
”
”
Julie Kagawa (The Iron Queen (The Iron Fey, #3))
“
Ow!" said Horace as the Ranger's fingers probed and poked around the bruise.
Did that hurt?" Halt asked, and Horace looked at him with exasperation.
Of course it did," he said sharply. "That's why I said 'ow!
”
”
John Flanagan (The Icebound Land (Ranger's Apprentice, #3))
“
Dude, you ran off with the crazy chick! You ran off with the psycho girl!" he's calling after Adam. "I thought they made that shit up. What the hell were you thinking? What are you going to do with the psycho chick? No wonder Warner wants you dead - OW, MAN, what the hell - "
"She's not crazy. And she's not deaf, asshole.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me (Shatter Me, #1))
Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #1))
“
Isabelle snorted. 'All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.'
'You noticed' said Simon.
'I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,' added Magnus.
'Please never say those words in front of my parents,' said Alec. 'Especially my father.'
'I thought your parents were okay with you, you know, coming out,' Simon said, leaning around Isabelle to look at Alec, who was — as he often was — scowling, and pushing his floppy dark hair out of his eyes. Aside from the occasional exchange, Simon had never talked to Alec much. He wasn’t an easy person to get to know. But, Simon admitted to himself, his own recent estrangement from his mother made him more curious about Alec’s answer than he would have been otherwise.
'My mother seems to have accepted it,' Alec said. 'But my father — no, not really. Once he asked me what I thought had turned me gay.'
Simon felt Isabelle tense next to him. 'Turned you gay?' She sounded incredulous. 'Alec, you didn’t tell me that.'
'I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider,' said Simon.
Magnus snorted; Isabelle looked confused. 'I’ve read Magnus’s stash of comics,' said Alec, 'so I actually know what you’re talking about' A small smile played around his mouth. 'So would that give me the proportional gayness of a spider?'
'Only if it was a really gay spider,' said Magnus, and he yelled as Alec punched him in the arm. 'Ow, okay, never mind.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Lost Souls (The Mortal Instruments, #5))
“
Punch me."
"Don't be absurd."
"Come on, punch me, Barrons."
"I'm not punching you."
"I said, punch--OW!"
He decked me.
”
”
Karen Marie Moning (Bloodfever (Fever, #2))
“
And there was a voice, a high clear, female voice, which said "Ow", and then, very quietly, it said "Fuck", and then it said "Ow", once more.
”
”
Neil Gaiman (Stardust)
“
may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)
may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she
may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she
but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she
(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
”
”
E.E. Cummings
Patrick Ness (The Knife of Never Letting Go (Chaos Walking, #1))
“
Jessica. For god's sake," he said. "Allow me to do at least one common courtesy for you. In spite ow what 'women's lib' teaches you, chivalry does not imply that women are powerless. On the contrary, chivalry is an admission of women's superiority. An acknowledgment of your power over us. This is the only form of servitude a Vladescu ever practices, and I perform it gladly for you. You, in turn, are obligated to accept graciously.
”
”
Beth Fantaskey (Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side (Jessica, #1))
“
I can’t believe Sadie’s going to let me have the last word. Our experience together must’ve really taught her something. Ow, she just hit me. Never mind.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles, #1))
“
Kenji tugs on my hair.
"Ow—" I jerk back, scowling. "What's wrong with you?"
"You've been hit extra hard with the stupid stick today.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
He pats his way around the the bed and slides back in. "Ow," he says.
"yes?"
"My belt. Would it be weird..."
I'm thankful he can't see me blush."Of course not." And I listen to the slap of leather, s he pulls it out of his belt loops. He lays it gently on my hardwood floor.
"Um," he says. "Would it be weird-"
"yes"
"Oh, piss off. I'm not talking trousers. I only want under the blankets. That breeze is horrible." He slides underneath, and now we're lying side-by-side. In my narrow bed. Funny, but I never never imagined my first sleepover with a guy being, well, a sleepover.
”
”
Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French Kiss (Anna and the French Kiss, #1))
“
You stole my bouquet? From the kistune?"
"I was very careful-"
"Do you realize what you've done?" Stefan shook Damon.
"Ow. That hurts! Do you want to break my neck.
”
”
L.J. Smith (Shadow Souls (The Vampire Diaries: The Return, #2))
“
Zane’s good hand flashed out and smacked Ty upside the back of the
head.
“Ow! What the hell?” Ty cried as he rubbed his head and huffed.
“You’re lucky I repress the Instakill for you,” he muttered.
”
”
Madeleine Urban (Cut & Run (Cut & Run, #1))
“
Come on, Hathaway," he said, taking my arm. "You can be my partner. Let’s see what you’ve been doing all this time."
An hour later, he had his answer.
"Not practicing, huh?"
"Ow,” I groaned, momentarily incapable of normal speech.
He extended a hand and helped me up from the mat he’d knocked me down on—about fifty times.
"I hate you,” I told him, rubbing a spot on my thigh that was going to have a wicked bruise tomorrow.
"You’d hate me more if I held back."
"Yeah, that’s true," I agreed, staggering along as the class put the equipment back.
"You actually did okay."
"What? I just had my ass handed to me."
"Well, of course you did. It’s been two years. But hey, you’re still walking. That’s something." He grinned mockingly.
"Did I mention I hate you?”
He flashed me another smile, which quickly faded to something more serious. "Don’t take this the wrong way…I mean, you really are a scrapper, but there’s no way you’ll be able to take your trials in the spring—"
"They’re making me take extra practice sessions," I explained. Not that it mattered. I planned on getting Lissa and me out of here before those practices really became an issue.
"Extra sessions with who?"
"That tall guy. Dimitri."
Mason stopped walking and stared at me. "You’re putting in extra time with Belikov?"
"Yeah, so what?"
"So the man is a god."
"Exaggerate much?" I asked.
"No, I’m serious. I mean, he’s all quiet and antisocial usually but when he fights...wow. If you think you’re hurting now, you’re going to be dead when he’s done with you."
Great. Something else to improve my day.
”
”
Richelle Mead (Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy, #1))
“
Hermione slid out of her bunk and moved like a sleepwalker towards Ron, her eyes upon his pale face. She stopped right in front of him, her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. Ron gave a weak, hopeful smile and half-raised his arms.
Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.
'Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!'
“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”
She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.
“You — crawl — back — here — after — weeks — and — weeks — oh, where’s my wand?”
She looked as though ready to wrestle it out of Harry’s hands and he reacted instinctively.
“Protego!
”
”
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter, #7))
“
I punched him nos so lightly in the arm. 'Asshole.'
He was silent for a few minutes, and then he smacked my arm.
'OW!'
'You had a mosquito.'
'No, I didn't.
”
”
Michelle Hodkin (The Retribution of Mara Dyer (Mara Dyer, #3))
“
You’re not going to suck.’’
‘‘Not at the guitar, anyway,’’ Shane said, deadpan. Claire punched him in the arm. ‘‘Ow.
”
”
Rachel Caine (Feast of Fools (The Morganville Vampires, #4))
“
Nobody's life is filled with perfect little moments. And if it were they wouldn't be perfect little moments. They would just be normal. ow would you know happiness if you never experienced downs?
”
”
Cecelia Ahern
“
Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence several miles above the surface of an alien planet.
And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.
This is a complete record of its thoughts from the moment it began its life till the moment it ended it.
Ah … ! What’s happening? it thought.
Er, excuse me, who am I?
Hello?
Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life?
What do I mean by who am I?
Calm down, get a grip now … oh! this is an interesting sensation, what is it? It’s a sort of … yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … well I suppose I’d better start finding names for things if I want to make any headway in what for the sake of what I shall call an argument I shall call the world, so let’s call it my stomach.
Good. Ooooh, it’s getting quite strong. And hey, what’s about this whistling roaring sound going past what I’m suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that … wind! Is that a good name? It’ll do … perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I’ve found out what it’s for. It must be something very important because there certainly seems to be a hell of a lot of it. Hey! What’s this thing? This … let’s call it a tail – yeah, tail. Hey! I can can really thrash it about pretty good can’t I? Wow! Wow! That feels great! Doesn’t seem to achieve very much but I’ll probably find out what it’s for later on. Now – have I built up any coherent picture of things yet?
No.
Never mind, hey, this is really exciting, so much to find out about, so much to look forward to, I’m quite dizzy with anticipation …
Or is it the wind?
There really is a lot of that now isn’t it?
And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!
I wonder if it will be friends with me?
And the rest, after a sudden wet thud, was silence.
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
”
”
Douglas Adams (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #1))
“
There was a scuffling and a great thump: someone else had clambered out of the tunnel, overbalanced slightly and fallen. He pulled himself up on the nearest chair, looked around through lopsided horn - rimmed glasses and said, 'Am I too late? Has it started? I only just found out, so I - I -'
Percy spluttered into silence. Evidently he had not expected to run into most of his family. There was a long moment of astonishment, broken by Fleur turning to Lupin and saying, in a wildly transparent attempt to break the tension, 'So - 'ow eez leetle Teddy?'
Lupin blinked at her, startled. The silence between the Weasleys seemed to be solidifying, like ice.
'I - oh yes - he's fine!' Lupin said loudly. 'Yes, Tonks is with him - at her mother's.'
Percy and the other Weasleys were still staring at one another, frozen.
'Here, I've got a picture!' Lupin shouted, pulling a photograph from inside his jacket and showing it to Fleur and Harry, who saw a tiny baby with a tuff of bright turquoise hair, waving fat fists at the camera.
'I was a fool!' Percy roared, so loudly that Lupin nearly dropped his photograph 'I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a - a -'
'Ministry - loving, family - disowning, power - hungry moron,' said Fred.
Percy swallowed.
'Yes I was!
”
”
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter, #7))
“
Before I leave the bathroom, I pinch my cheeks hard to bring blood to the surface of my skin. It’s stupid, but I don’t want to look weak and exhausted in front of everyone.
When I walk back into Tobias’s room, Uriah is sprawled across the bed facedown; Christina is holding the blue sculpture above Tobias’s desk, examining it; and Lynn is poised above Uriah with a pillow, a wicked grin creeping across her face.
Lynn smacks Uriah hard in the back of the head, Christina says, “Hey Tris!” and Uriah cries, “Ow! How on earth do you make a pillow hurt, Lynn?”
“My exceptional strength,” she says. “Did you get smacked, Tris? One of your cheeks is bright red.”
I must not have pinched the other one hard enough. “No, it’s just … my morning glow.
”
”
Veronica Roth (Insurgent (Divergent, #2))
“
I dodged behind Mac for cover and refused to take the bait. I glanced at my nonexistent watch. 'Oops, look at the time. Guess I have to be going now. Let's not do this again sometime, okay?'
Before I could move, Pritkin was there, jamming the medallion into the skin of my upper arm.'Ow!'He looked at me expectantly. I glared at him. 'That hurt!'
What do you see?'
A big red mark,
”
”
Karen Chance (Claimed by Shadow (Cassandra Palmer, #2))
“
Get down here before you’re recognized.”
“Playing hide-and-seek under the table? Crouching in the dirt? Typical of your kind, but far beneath my dignity.”
He laughs unsteadily, like he expects I am going to laugh, too. I don’t. I ball up my fist and punch him in the stomach, right where I know it will hurt. He staggers to his knees. The goblet drops to the dirt, making a hollow clanking sound. “Ow!” he shouts, and lets me tug him under the table.
”
”
Holly Black (The Cruel Prince (The Folk of the Air, #1))
“
He stepped forward and punched Dorian in the face, hard enough that I heard a thwack.
"Ow," moaned Dorian, wincing from the pain. "My greatest asset.
”
”
Richelle Mead (Shadow Heir (Dark Swan, #4))
“
Sure am glad I'm not royalty," I muttered. "I wouldn't want to have to bump uglies with someone I can't stand. On a regular basis. And no one else."
"Ow!" I exclaimed, trying to yank my fingers from Trent but finding them caught. Then I colored, realizing what I'd said. "Oh… sorry," I stammered, meaning it. "That was insensitive."
Trent's frown turned into a sly smirk. "Bump uglies?" he said, eyes on the table behind me. "You are a font of gutter slang, Rachel. We must do this again.
”
”
Kim Harrison (For a Few Demons More (The Hollows, #5))
“
He was the only one interested in me."
"Of course he isn't," Steve said. "Practically every boy in the school would want a chance to... ow, Maisy!"
"Sorry, my elbow slipped.
”
”
Kailin Gow (Wicked Woods (Wicked Woods, #1))
“
She reaches out to take the jacket. I hesitate for a moment, like Frodo with his Ring, but then I remember ow much crap Frodo walked into and I'd rather not end up like Frodo. So I give it to Sage.
”
”
Ashley Poston (Geekerella (Once Upon a Con, #1))
“
Lynn smacks Uriah hard in the back of the head, Christina says, “Hey Tris!” and Uriah cries, “Ow! How on earth do you make a pillow hurt, Lynn?”
“My exceptional strength,” she says.
”
”
Veronica Roth (Insurgent (Divergent, #2))
“
How do you say yoo-hoo in Arabic?"
"I believe that yoo-hoo could be part of a universal language," Dan said. "Like ow. Or- you're stepping on my foot."
"That's universal?"
"No, you're stepping on my foot. Ow."
Amy moved.
”
”
Jude Watson (Beyond the Grave (The 39 Clues, #4))
“
He tends to go for girls who are-Shelby, honey? Put your hands over your ears for just a sec.” Back into the phone he said, “He likes the real slutty ones. Ow!” he yelled when he received a whop to the back of the head.
”
”
Robyn Carr (Wild Man Creek (Virgin River, #12))
“
My dear children!"
Nellie whopped him upside the head with her backpack.
"Ow!" Uncle Alistair curled over, cupping his hand over his good eye.
"Nellie!" Amy said.
"Sorry," Nellie muttered. "I thought he was one of the bad guys.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Maze of Bones (The 39 Clues, #1))
“
O it's Tommy this, and Tommy that, and Tommy 'ow's your soul/But it's thin red line of heroes when the drums begin to roll.
”
”
Rudyard Kipling (Barrack Room Ballads & Departamental Ditties and Ballads)
“
He held up one finger. "I thought it wasn't loaded" Shane said. Second finger. "Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank." Third finger. "Killed over ice cream. Basically, any death that requires me to be stupid first."
Michael shook his head. "So what's on your good list?"
"Oh you know. Hero stuff that gets me rerun on CNN, Like I died saving a busload of supermodels" Claire smacked his arm. "Ow! Saving them! What did you think I meant?
”
”
Rachel Caine (Kiss of Death (The Morganville Vampires, #8))
“
[N]ow that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women.
”
”
Alexis de Tocqueville (Democracy in America)
“
Ow. Ow. That hurt. Ack.. I'm dead.
”
”
Peach-Pit (Shugo Chara!, Vol. 3: Can a Bad Guy Turn Good? (Shugo Chara!, #3))
“
If you love something,
Let it go,
If it comes back it's yours,
That's how you know kno-o-ow
Nonsense, Christina Aguilera! I say, 'If you love it, file it away under "Things I love". If it's required at a later date, you'll know exactly where it i-i-i-is.
”
”
Jon Richardson (It's Not Me, It's You)
“
[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.]
Susie: Hello?
Calvin: Hi, Susie! It's me, Calvin! I was wondering if you'd like to come over and play.
Susie: Why, sure! Boy, I don't think you've ever invited me to...
Calvin's Mom: Calvin, what are you doing?
Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away.
Calvin's Mom: You're contagious! You can't have anyone over to play!
Calvin: Shhhh! Shhhh! You'll spoil the whole thing! I was going to trick Susie into catching... HEY! OW! LET GO!
Susie: [Hanging up the phone] Any chance of getting transferred, Dad?
”
”
Bill Watterson
“
Is your butt buzzing?"
Cole, you have the worst timing! I jerked upright, tring to pull my phone out of my pocket and managing instead to bang my elbow against the wall.
Ow! Oh, shit that hurts! You know, the guy who decided it should be a funny bone was just a freaking masochist. Or is it a sadist? I always get those mixed up.
”
”
Jennifer Rardin (Bitten to Death (Jaz Parks, #4))
“
Slut. I’m a dirty-
The sound of a hand hitting flesh was simultaneous with the shocking sting on her bottom. “Ow!”
“You don’t think those nasty thoughts about my sumisita, Kimberly.
”
”
Cherise Sinclair (To Command and Collar (Masters of the Shadowlands, #6))
“
Ow do you knock out a Denizen?" asked Suzy. "I tried it myself once or twice, but just hitting them never works."
"It is not the force of the blow, but the authority with which it is delivered," quoth the raven.
”
”
Garth Nix (Lord Sunday (The Keys to the Kingdom, #7))
“
Well … Zeus approves, Aeolus muttered. ―He says … he says it would be better if you could avoid saving her until after the weekend, because he has a big party planned—Ow! That‘s Aphrodite yelling at him, reminding him that the solstice starts at dawn. She says I should help you. And Hephaestus… yes. Hmm. Very rare they agree on anything. Hold on
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
“
Funny, 'ow you can 'old a jewel in your 'and, and toss it away, and not even know what you 'ad until it's gone.
”
”
Jennifer Donnelly (The Tea Rose (The Tea Rose, #1))
“
He had had his own feelings hurt over and over by Adam, even when Adam had meant no harm. Some of the worst fractures had appeared because Adam hadn't realized the he was causing them.
”
”
Maggie Stiefvater (The Raven King (The Raven Cycle, #4))
“
I clawed my eyes open and rolled off my bed. For some reason, someone had moved the floor several feet lower than I had expected, and I fell and crashed with a thud.
Ow.
A blond head popped over the side of the bed, and a familiar male voice asked, “Are you okay down there?”
Curran. The Beast Lord was in my bed. No, wait a minute. I didn’t have a bed, because my insane aunt had destroyed my apartment. I was mated to the Beast Lord, which meant I was in the Keep, in Curran’s rooms, and in his bed. Our bed. Which was four feet high. Right.
“Kate?”
“I’m fine.”
“Would you like me to install one of those child playground slides for you?
”
”
Ilona Andrews (Magic Slays (Kate Daniels, #5))
“
Feeling her strength return right along with her annoyance, Dagmar stepped back and raised her foot, slamming it down on the tip.
“Ow! Evil barbarian viper!” He rose on his hind legs, his front claws grasping his tail. “You are aware this is attached to me?”
“Yes. That’s how I knew it was taking liberties!
”
”
G.A. Aiken (What a Dragon Should Know (Dragon Kin, #3))
“
How do you know all this? Jeez, Tory, you’re a kid. Act like it. (Geary)
(Tory reached out and punched her on the arm.)
Ow! What was that for? (Geary)
Unexpected and irrational emotional outbursts. Isn’t that what teenagers are supposed to do? Oh, and sulk. A lot. (Tory)
”
”
Sherrilyn Kenyon (The Dream-Hunter (Dark-Hunter, #10; Dream-Hunter, #1))
“
Um, sweetums?" Driggs piped up.
Lex blew a sweaty clump of hair off her forehead. "What did you just call me?"
He sank further under her glower. "I just - ow !
”
”
Gina Damico (Scorch (Croak, #2))
“
Ow," I muttered, because I was once the god of poetry and have great descriptive powers.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Tyrant’s Tomb (The Trials of Apollo, #4))
“
That's a lot of vegetables.
"It is, yes, and if you eat them like a good girl..." He lifted the silver lid on another plate, revealed a small pizza, with pepperoni arranged into a smiley face.
She tried to give him a stony stare, but the laugh won out. "You think you're cute, don't you, pal?"
"Adorable."
"In this case, you can have adorable. Ow!" She managed the stony stare when he slapped her hand away from the pizza.
"Vegetables first.
”
”
J.D. Robb (Calculated in Death (In Death, #36))
“
What would you say if I tortured you?" asked the bandit leader conversationally.
Halla blinked at him. "Err, 'Ow,' probably. 'Stop, Stop, Stop,' something like that?" *What a bizarre question. What does he expect me to say?*
”
”
T. Kingfisher (Swordheart)
“
The real difficulty is with the vast wealth and power in the hands of the few and the unscrupulous who represent or control capital. Hundreds of laws of Congress and the state legislatures are in the interest of these men and against the interests of workingmen. These need to be exposed and repealed. All laws on corporations, on taxation, on trusts, wills, descent, and the like, need examination and extensive change. This is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people no longer. It is a government of corporations, by corporations, and for corporations.
”
”
Rutherford B. Hayes (Diary and Letters of Rutherford Birchard Hayes: Nineteenth President of the United States (1922))
“
Stop her!" Matthias bellowed as he thundered downstairs.
Blake's mouth twisted sideways, hand tightened on the knob. What little breath I'd regained, caught. Heart sputtered to a standstill. Then he swung the door open with a sweep of his arm.
"After you, milday."
My legs didn't hesitate. I vaulted off the porch and hit the driveway running.
"What the bloody hell did you do that for?!"
"I'm her knight in shining armor. Seriously, dude, your chivalry needs some work. Ow!
”
”
A. Kirk (Demons at Deadnight (Divinicus Nex Chronicles, #1))
“
Love hurts whether its right ow wrong
”
”
Avril Lavigne (Avril Lavigne: Under My Skin)
“
So what did Jes say?' I asked again, when my brain felt a bit less scrambled.
'He said I should take good care of you.'
'That's all?'
Mal cleared his throat. 'And . . . he said he would pray to the God of Work to heal your affliction.'
'My what?'
'I many have told him that you have a goiter.'
I stumbled. 'I beg your pardon?'
'Well, I had to explain why you were always clinging to that scarf.'
I dropped my hand. I'd been doing it again without even realizing.
'So you told him I had a goiter?' I whispered incredulously.
'I had to say something. And it makes you quite a tragic figure. Pretty girl, giant growth, you know.'
I punched him hard in the arm.
'Ow! Hey, in some countries, goiters are considered very fashionable.'
'Do they like eunuchs, too? Because I can arrange that.'
'So bloodthirsty!'
'My goiter makes me cranky.
”
”
Leigh Bardugo (Siege and Storm (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #2))
“
Ow!"
"Hold still," Sinead ordered. "And don't be such a baby." She dabbed at the angry red mark behind Ian's ear. "Cat scratches are prone to infection, you know."
"And that's my fault?" Ian raged. "Why don't you lock that animal in the cellar? Or, better still, send him to a violen string factory! Ow! What is this stuff–acid?"
"My own concoction," she replied cheerfully. "Amy and I use it on our blisters when we do marathon training. Soothing, right?"
"They practice this kind of soothing in the Lucian stronghold–during interrogations.
”
”
Gordon Korman (The Medusa Plot (39 Clues: Cahills vs. Vespers, #1))
“
The others went upstairs, a slow unwilling procession. If this had been an old house, with creaking wood, and dark shadows, and heavily panelled walls, there might have been an eerie feeling. But this house was the essence of modernity. There were no dark corners - no possible sliding panels - it was flooded with electric light - everything was new and bright and shining. There was nothing hidden in this house, nothing concealed. It had no atmosphere about it. Somehow, that was the most frightening thing of all. They exchanged good-nights on the upper landing. Each of them went into his or her own room, and each of them automatically, almost without conscious thought, locked the door....
”
”
Agatha Christie (And Then There Were None)
“
[N]ow we have a clearer idea what this story is all about: The world was made for man, and man was made to rule it.
”
”
Daniel Quinn (Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit (Ishmael, #1))
“
So you told him I had a goiter?" I whispered incredulously.
"I had to say something. And it makes you quite a tragic figure. Pretty girl, giant growth, you know."
I punched him hard in the arm.
"Ow! Hey, in some countries, goiters are considered very fashionable."
"Do they like eunuchs, too? Because I can arrange that."
"So bloodthirsty!"
"My goiter makes me cranky.
”
”
Leigh Bardugo (Siege and Storm (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #2))
“
It hurts!" bellowed Ramirez drunkenly, flinging a last pair of bolts at a fleeing ghoul. "Ow! Ow, it hurts! It hurts to be this *good*!
”
”
Jim Butcher (White Night (The Dresden Files, #9))
“
And the so-called 'political process' is a fraud: Our elected officials, like our bureaucratic functionaries, like even our judges, are largely the indentured servants of the commercial interests.
”
”
Edward Abbey (Postcards from Ed: Dispatches and Salvos from an American Iconoclast)
“
Fury wagged his tail and smiled wickedly, then tried to look up Bride’s dress.
Vane caught him quickly by the neck. “Stop!” he snarled mentally to Fury. “Or I’ll rip your head off.”
Bride frowned at them. “Don’t you like my wolf?”
“Yeah,” Van said, patting him roughly on the head. “He’s my new best friend.”
“I’m your only friend, dickhead.”
Vane balled his fist in the wolf’s fur as a warning to him. “You know you have to be firm with wolves. Let them know who the alpha is.”
“Your father?”
Vane smacked Fury’s head.
“Ow!”
”
”
Sherrilyn Kenyon (Night Play (Dark-Hunter, #5; Were-Hunter, #1))
“
I don’t bite Marcus. You can come sit on the comfy old couch with me. That chair is incredibly uncomfortable.” Just the opening I needed. I jumped up and sat down on the end of the couch and stretched my legs out in front of me.
“You don’t have to tell me twice. I was just being polite.” Will ow chuckled and brought a blanket over to the sofa with her.
”
”
Abbi Glines (Because of Low (Sea Breeze, #2))
“
The King emerged from the library, paperwork in hand, eyebrows furrowed.
"Well, what is it, what is it?" he said crossly. "Can you not let me work for five minutes at a time?"
The girls burst into angry cries. Kale let out another piercing shriek.
"Him-him-him-" said Delphinium, pointing a shaking finger at Mr. Hyette, who laughed still. "He-he-him!"
"He-he-he was spying on us!"
"And we weren't even wearing our boots!"
"Or even our stockings!"
Thunpfwhap. The King threw Mr. Hyette up against the paneling. My Hyette's head slammed against the wainscot.
Kale stopped midscream, hiccupped, and giggled.
"Mr. Hyeete!" said the King.
Mr. Hyette struggled against the King's steel grip.
"Ow," he said. "I say, ow!"
The King yanked Mr. Hyette from the wall and grabbed him by the scruff of his fluffy cravat. He handled Mr. Hyette out the entrance hall doors, slamming them behind him. Outside, gravel scuffled.
"I say," said Bramble, in an impeccable impersonation of Mr. Hyette. "I say, I say! I say-this Royal Business could actually be quite a lot of fun!
”
”
Heather Dixon Wallwork (Entwined)
“
Zane let his head loll back and lifted one hand to gently prod his split lip. "Ow."
"Whine about it. It'll make it better," Ty offered as he stood in front of his locker, his back to Zane, and unwrapped the tape from his hands with jerky, irritated movements.
"Bite me," Zane muttered as he dug into his locker for a towel before starting in on the tape on his own hands. He spared an evil glance for Ty. "Teaching me to advance in a fight is a bad idea."
"Teaching you to fight at all is an exercise in futility," Ty responded in a matter-of-fact tone. "Luckily for you, I enjoy things like banging my head against a wall."
"I enjoy banging your head against a wall too," Zane replied as he tossed the balled-up tape at a nearby trash can. He let a small smile quirk his lips as he sat on the bench to unlace his shoes.
"Shut up," Ty grunted at him. But even though his back was still turned to him, Zane could hear the smile in his voice. "And cut it out with the damn cat jokes, huh? They're starting to catch on."
"Fine, fine. No reason to get catty about it," Zane told his partner with a barely concealed grin.
"A for effort," Ty conceded charitably.
”
”
Abigail Roux (Fish & Chips (Cut & Run, #3))
“
Dee-Ann came back in the hallway and both men stopped and stared at her. “Just came back to get some water out of the fridge.” When neither man said anything to her, she asked, “Somethin’ wrong?”
Ric stepped forward. “How many children do you want?”
Lock grabbed Ric by his hair and yanked him back, slamming him into the front door. “Ow!
”
”
Shelly Laurenston (The Mane Squeeze (Pride, #4))
“
Do you love me?"
"You know I do."
"How much?"
"Miles and Miles."
"Deeper than the oceans?"
"Yup. More than the wind."
"Higher than Everest?"
"I don't know, that's pretty high... Ow!" (laughter)
"Admit it. You love me more than anyone."
"Maybe."
"What about you - how much do you love me?"
"Enough."
"Hey!"
"You didn't ask, 'Enough for what?'"
"Fine, then. Enough for what?"
"For Anything."
"That's Better.
”
”
Abigail Haas (Dangerous Girls)
“
Fundamentalist Christianity: fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is twelve thousand years old. Swear to God. Based on what? I asked them.
"Well, we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages? Twelve thousand years."
"Well, how fucking scientific, OK. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble there. That's good. You believe the world's twelve thousand years old?"
"That's right."
"OK, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?"
"Uh huh."
"Dinosaurs."
You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point:
And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. "What a big fucking lizard, Lord!"
"I'm sure gonna mention this in my book," Luke said.
"Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book," Matthew said.
But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"
Twelve thousand years old. But I actually asked this guy, "OK, dinosaur fossils-- how does that fit into your scheme of life? What's the deal?" He goes:
"God put those here to test our faith."
"I think God put you here to test my faith, dude. I think I've figured this out."
Does that-- That's what this guy said. Does that bother anyone here? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? Anyone have trouble sleeping restfully with that thought in their head? God's running around burying fossils: "Ho ho! We'll see who believes in me now, ha ha! I'm a prankster God. I am killing me, ho ho ho!" You know? You die, you go to St. Peter:
"Did you believe in dinosaurs?"
"Well, yeah. There were fossils everywhere. (trapdoor opens) Aaaaarhhh!"
"You fuckin' idiot! Flying lizards? You're a moron. God was fuckin' with you!"
"It seemed so plausible, aaaaaahh!"
"Enjoy the lake of fire, fucker!"
They believe this. But you ever notice how people who believe in Creationism usually look pretty unevolved. Eyes really close together, big furry hands and feet? "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
Such a weird belief. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a fucking cross, man? "Ow." Might be why he hasn't shown up yet.
"Man, they're still wearing crosses. Fuck it, I'm not goin' back, Dad. No, they totally missed the point. When they start wearing fishes, I might show up again, but... let me bury fossils with you, Dad. Fuck 'em, let's fuck with 'em! Hand me that brontosaurus head, Dad.
”
”
Bill Hicks (Love All the People: Letters, Lyrics, Routines)
“
Our institutions are too big; they represent not the best but the worst characteristics of human beings. By submitting to huge hierarchies of power, we gain freedom from personal responsibility for what we do and are forced to do - the seduction of it - but we lose the dignity of being real men and women. Power corrupts; attracts the worst and corrupts the best. ... Refuse to participate in evil; insist on taking part in what is healthy, generous, and responsible. Stand up, speak out, and when necessary fight back. Get down off the fence and lend a hand, grab a-hold, be a citizen - not a subject.
”
”
Edward Abbey (Postcards from Ed: Dispatches and Salvos from an American Iconoclast)
“
I wanted to say something to cheer her up. I had a feeling that cheering her up might be a lot of work. I was thinking of how sometimes, trying to say the right thing to people, it’s like some kind of brain surgery, and you have to tweak exactly the right part of the lobe. Except with talking, it’s more like brain surgery with old, rusted skewers and things, maybe like those things you use to eat lobster, but brown. And you have to get exactly the right place, and you’re touching around in the brain but the patient, she keeps jumping and saying, “Ow.
”
”
M.T. Anderson (Feed)
“
I smashed his hand as hard as I could with the Wiffle bat.
"Ow!" he screamed.
Carson was rubbing his red palm, inspecting it for damage. "That hurt," he shrieked. "You really hurt me."
"Right back at you," I said. "Good-bye Carson."
He frowned, massaging his hand, the big baby. "I just wanted to end this nicely."
"Yeah?" I cocked the bat up to hit him again. "Well, this time you don't get what you want.
”
”
Rachel Vail (You, Maybe: The Profound Asymmetry of Love in High School)
“
This wasn’t what she expected. Never, in her wildest dreams. This... this was the Blood Queen of Garbhán Isle? Scourge of the Madron lands? Destroyer of Villages? Demon Killer of Women and Children? She who had blood pacts with the darkest of gods? This was Annwyl the Bloody?
Talaith watched, fascinated, as Annwyl held onto Morfyd the Witch’s wrists. Morfyd — the Black Witch of Despair, Killer of the Innocent, Annihilator of Souls, and all around Mad Witch of Garbhán Isle or so she was called on the Madron lands — had actually tried to sneak up on Annwyl to put ointment on the nasty wound the queen had across her face. But as soon as the warrior saw her, she squealed and grabbed hold of her. Now Annwyl lay on her back, Morfyd over her, trying her best to get Annwyl to stop being a ten year old.
“If you just let me—”
“No! Get that centaur shit away from me, you demon bitch!”
“Annwyl, I’m not letting you go home to my brother looking like that. You look horrific.”
“He’ll have to love me in spite of it. Now get off!”
...
“Ow!”
“Crybaby.”
No, this isn’t what Talaith expected. Annwyl the Blood Queen was supposed to be a vicious, uncaring warrior bent on revenge and power. She let her elite guard rape and and pillage wherever they went, and she used babies as target practice while their mothers watched in horror. That’s what she was supposed to be and that’s what Talaith expected to find. Instead, she found Annwyl. Just Annwyl. A warrior who spent most of her resting time reading or mooning over her consort. She was silly, charming, very funny, and fiercely protective of everyone. Her elite guard, all handpicked by Annwyl, were sweet, vicious fighters and blindingly loyal to their queen.
”
”
G.A. Aiken (About a Dragon (Dragon Kin, #2))
“
Alana,
You once told me there'd come a day when I would regret making you marry me. I do regret it now, Alana, with all my heart. For tonight I've seen the joy on a willing bride's face, and I regret that I was never able to see that on yours. I mourn the sorrow I now understand that I've brought to you, but if you leave me, I'll mourn my ow sorrow at losing you infinitely more. Let these words assure you that in this world of injustice, God's sword is ruthless upon the wicked. If I lose you, one man, THIS man, got what he deserved.
Trevor
”
”
Meagan McKinney (Lions and Lace (Van Alen Sisters #1))
“
A mistake? The most passionate night of his life was a mistake? Her first time and that’s what she thought. That grated on him in the worst way. “Is that what you think, Beth?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why, Beth?”
“You know I hate that name.”
“Oh, so sorry, Beth. I do apologize, Beth.” He was being petty and he knew it, but he didn’t give a damn. She’d always brought out the very worst in him.
She reached up and twisted his ear. “Ow!”
“Out of my way, Robert Lemonade,” she said casually, pissing him off in the worst way.
”
”
R.L. Mathewson (Truce (Neighbor from Hell, #4))
“
I just wanted to know what it was like," she said, "in case it was my last chance. I never wanted to take him away from you."
"You didn't. It's not like you tied him down and forced him." Sparrow paused, considering. "You didn't, did you?"
"Practically. But he didn't scream for help, so..."
Sparrow launched the plum. It was close range, and hit Ruby on her collarbone. She said, "Ow!" though it hadn't really hurt. Rubbing at the place of impact, she glared at Sparrow. "Is that it, then? Have you spent your wrath?"
"Yes," said Sparrow, dusting off her palms. "It was one-plum wrath."
"How sad for Feral. He was only worth one plum. Won't he mope when we tell him.
”
”
Laini Taylor (Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer, #1))
“
We got half the doggone MIT college of engineering here, and nobody who can fix a doggone /television/?" Dr. Joseph Abernathy glared accusingly at the clusters of young people scattered around his living room.
That's /electrical/ engineering, Pop," his son told him loftily. "We're all mechanical engineers. Ask a mechanical engineer to fix your color TV, that's like asking an Ob-Gyn to look at the sore on your di-ow!"
Oh, sorry," said his father, peering blandly over gold-rimmed glasses. "That your foot, Lenny?
”
”
Diana Gabaldon (Drums of Autumn (Outlander, #4))
“
Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.”
This Santa’s beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn’t fucking around.
“I’m not really a little boy,” I pointed out.
“Get on my lap, then, big boy.”
I walked up to him. There wasn’t much lap under his belly. And even though he tried to disguise it, as I went up there, I swear he adjusted
his crotch.
“Ho ho ho!” he chortled.
I sat gingerly on his knee, like it was a subway seat with gum on it.
“Have you been a good little boy this year?” he asked.
I didn’t feel that I was the right person to determine my own goodness or badness, but in the interest of speeding along this encounter, I said yes.
He actually wobbled with joy.
“Good! Good! Then what can I bring you this Christmas?”
I thought it was obvious.
“A message from Lily,” I said. “That’s what I want for Christmas. But I want it right now.”
“So impatient!” Santa lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. “But Santa does have a little something for you”—he shifted a little in
his seat—“right under his coat. If you want to have your present, you’ll have to rub Santa’s belly.”
“What?” I asked.
He gestured with his eyes down to his stomach. “Go ahead.”
I looked closely and saw the faint outline of an envelope beneath his red velvet coat.
“You know you want it,” he whispered.
The only way I could survive this was to think of it as the dare it was.
Fuck off, Lily. You can’t intimidate me.
I reached right under Santa’s coat. To my horror, I found he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. It was hot, sweaty, Geshy, hairy … and
his belly was this massive obstacle, blocking me from the envelope. I had to lean over to angle my arm in order to reach it, the whole time
having Santa laugh, “Oh ho ho, ho ho oh ho!” in my ear.
I heard the elf scream, “What the hell!” and various parents start to shriek. Yes, I was feeling up Santa. And now the corner of the envelope was in my hand. He tried to jiggle it away from me, but I held tight and yanked it
out, pulling some of his white belly hair with me. “OW ho ho!” he cried. I jumped o1 his lap.
“Security’s here!” the elf proclaimed.
The letter was in my hand, damp but intact.
“He touched Santa!” a young child squealed.
”
”
Rachel Cohn (Dash & Lily's Book of Dares (Dash & Lily, #1))
“
They tried not to stare, but they couldn't keep their eyes away. I was a freak now. I made people uncomfortable and not necessarily because of my scars-but because what my scars represented. Danger, fear, and the unknown. Something had had happened to me, something not even I could remember. They all probably thought that I was crazy, that I somehow did this to myself. I couldn't blame them. ow could I? They might be right.
”
”
Cambria Hebert (Masquerade (Heven and Hell, #1))
“
Ean seems like the ‘not here to make friends’ type, but I don’t think anyone could go through this without getting close to someone. It’s too hard. As difficult as it is for me, I know it’s just as bad for you all.”
“We definitely get the better end of the deal though,” he said, winking at my reflection.
I tilted my head. “I don’t know about that. The more I think about it, the sadder I get about having to send all but one of you away. I’ll miss having you here.”
“Have you considered a harem?” he said, deadpan.
I bent over in laughter and was rewarded with a pin stabbing my waist. “Ow!”
“Sorry! I shouldn’t joke when there are needles around.
”
”
Kiera Cass (The Crown (The Selection, #5))
“
She told Mik, "You have perfect violin-playing muscles."
"And you, with your mighty puppeteer arms. We put the chimaera to shame."
She stopped fanning and fell backward onto the bed. It was a bad bed in a cheap motel, and the flop jarred her teeth. "Ow," she said without conviction.
"Hey. You're turn isn't even half up."
"I know. I just succumbed to ennui."
"Just now."
"Just exactly now. You saw it happen.
”
”
Laini Taylor (Days of Blood & Starlight (Daughter of Smoke & Bone, #2))
“
If an author is going to put in a forbidden element in a storyline and actually have them doing things to protect their heroine then that's good. When these hero's end up sleeping with one woman after another all in the name of protecting their heroine's well then they come across as sleazy and not a character to admire or respect. Angst is fine for me if done the right way especially if I can feel the love they have for their women......but then it totally negates their love when you have explicit sex scenes with ow where they certainly do not appear to be in misery.
”
”
Fre06 Begum
“
SCENE: Apollo jogs along the beachfront, shooting arrows backwards from his golden bow. He's followed by campers dressed in combat gear, jogging in military formation.
APOLLO: I don't know but I've been told!
CAMPERS: We don't know but we've been told!
APOLLO: The sun god's got a bow of gold!
CAMPERS: The sun god's got a bow of gold!
APOLLO: He's the best shot in the land!
CAMPERS: He's the best shot in the land!
APOLLO: Augh! [Apollo trips and lands on his backside] I've fallen in the sand!
CAMPERS [jogging circles around him]: Augh! He's fallen in the sand!
APOLLO: I meant to do that, so don't laugh!
CAMPERS: He meant to do that, so don't laugh!
APOLLO [tries to get up but falls back again]: Ow! I hurt my godly calf!
CAMPERS: Ow! He hurt his godly calf!
APOLLO [glowering and starting to glow]: If you want to live another day ...
CAMPERS: If we want to live another day ...
APOLLO [radiating brighter]: STOP REPEATING WHAT I SAY!
CAMPERS: STOP - um...
- Military cadence written, chanted and abruptly ended by Apollo
Best. Scene. Ever. - P. J.
”
”
Rick Riordan (Camp Half-Blood Confidential (The Trials of Apollo))
“
Wyatt slowed to a stop. Noah continued on for a few feet before he realized Wyatt had dropped back, and he turned to look at him questioningly.
“I don’t think I can do this,” Wyatt said. Noah nodded in understanding and walked back beside him. He reached up and smacked Wyatt on the side of the head.
“Did you leave your balls in his toilet too?”
" Ow! What? No!”
“Then get the lead out, Case,” Noah said as he grabbed Wyatt’s elbow and began pulling him along.
“I hate you.
”
”
Abigail Roux (The Gravedigger's Brawl)
“
He looked like a kid caught making an angel in the snow, except his glasses had been blown off and one of his hands was bleeding. He breathed heavily; his belly rose and fell.
I knelt close. 'George?'
A groan, a cough. 'It's too late. Leave me....Let me sleep....'
I shook him firmly, slapped the side of his face. 'George, you've got to wake up! George, *please.* Are you okay?'
An eye opened. 'Ow. That cheek was the one part of me that *wasn't* sore.'
'Here, look - your glasses.' I scooped them out of the ash, put them on his chest.
”
”
Jonathan Stroud (The Screaming Staircase (Lockwood & Co., #1))
“
Then I'm afraid we'll have to lose our common ground." Flashing his fangs,he lunged forward.I drew my arm back and punched him full in the face.
"Ow!" we screamed in unison as he clutched his nose and I shook my poor, poor hand.Why didn't anyone ever tell me punching faces hurts?
"You hit me!"
"You were trying to bite me!"
We glared at each other,intensity somewhat diminished by the hand he still held to his nose. "So what now?" he asked,smooth voice muffled.
"I haven't thought that far ahead yet.
”
”
Kiersten White (Supernaturally (Paranormalcy, #2))
“
I stopped at a red light, turned my head, and allowed myself to enjoy the handsomeness that was Brent.
He noticed my staring and asked, "What?"
"As if you don't know. You're not the type of guy that a girl gets tired of looking at."
"Oh. Well in that case, you're welcome to look all you want," he said and gestured to himself. "You're allowed to touch, too." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
I lowered my voice into its sexy-husky range. "I was hoping you'd say that." With my flirtiest look on my face, I rubbed my hand slowly up his arm and then pinched him firmly on the shoulder.
"Ow!" Brent rubbed his shoulder and grinned. "Not what I had in mind!
”
”
Lani Woodland (Indelible (The Yara Silva Trilogy, #2))
“
Ow!" she cried out. She would have a fresh bruise there by the time she went to sleep, somewhere out at sea. A bruise is a lesson, she told herself, and each lesson makes us better.
Syrio stepped back. "You are dead now."
Arya made a face. "You cheated," she said hotly. "You said left and you went right."
"Just so. And now you are a dead girl."
"But you lied!"
"My words lied. My eyes and my arm shouted out the truth, but you were not seeing."
"I was so," Arya said. "I watched you every second!"
"Watching is not seeing, dead girl. The water dancer sees. Come, put down the sword, it is time for listening now.
”
”
George R.R. Martin (A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, #1))
“
Today 5:14 p.m.
"Mrrrrrowl. Mrrrrrowl."
"Ow! Ow, stupid cat! Ahem. You told me, 'stop calling, Isabelle,' but I'm not the one calling you. Church is calling you. Mine are merely the fingers that work the phone.
"See, here's something you may not have known before you committed your recent rash acts. Our cat, Church, and your cat, Chairman Meow? They're in love. I've never seen such love before. I never knew such love could exist in the heart of a... cat. Some people say that love between two dude cats is wrong, but I think it's beautiful. Love makes Church happier than I've ever seen him. Nothing makes him happy like Chairman Meow. Not tuna. Not shredding centuries-old tapestries. Nothing. Please don't keep these cats apart. Please don't take the joy of love away from Church.
"Look, this is really just a warning for your own good. If you keep Church and Chairman Meow apart, Church will start to get angry.
"You wouldn't like Church when he's angry."
Beep
”
”
Cassandra Clare (The Bane Chronicles)
“
What are you doing?”
Ya!” said Jane, whirling around, her hands held up menacingly.
It was Mr. Nobley with coat, hat, and cane, watching her with wide eyes. Jane took several quick (but oh so casual) steps away from Martin’s window.
Um, did I just say, ‘Ya’?”
You just said ‘Ya,”’ he confirmed. “If I am not mistaken, it was a battle cry, warning that you were about to attack me.”
I, uh. . .“ She stopped to laugh. “I wasn’t aware until this precise and awkward moment that when startled in a strange place, my instincts would have me pretend to be a ninja.”
***
Surely a young beauty like yourself is lonely, too. It can be part of the game, if you like.”
Get off,” she said, thoroughly done with this.
His answer was to lean in closer. So she kneed him in groin. As hard as she could.
Aw, ow, dammit!” He doubled over and thudded onto knees.
Jane brushed off her knee, feeling like it had touched son thing dirty. “Aw, ow, dammit indeed! What’re you thinking?”
Jane heard hurried footsteps coming down the stairs. It Mr. Nobley.
Miss Erstwhile!” He was barefoot in his breeches, his shirt untucked. He glanced down at the groaning man. “Sir Templeton!”
Ow, she kicked me,” said Sir Templeton.
Kneed him, I kneed him,” Jane said. “I don’t kick. Not even when 1m a ninja.”
Mr. Nobley stood a moment in silence, looking over the scene. “I hope you
remembered to shout ‘Ya’ when taking him down. I hear that is very effective.”
I’m afraid I neglected that bit, but I’ll certainly ‘ya’ from here to London if he ever touches me again.
”
”
Shannon Hale
“
I jumped up from the bed and paced the small space in front of Romeo. He was absolutely nuts.
"Why the hell would you do that?" I asked.
Then I stubbed my toe on the edge of my desk.
"Ow!" I hissed and doubled over while bouncing around on one foot.
"You're like a one-woman show," Romeo remarked from behind me. His voice was clearly amused.
"I need my glasses," I muttered, hopping around and reaching for them somewhere near my bed. I knocked something over and it fell to the floor.
"Whoa there, graceful," Romeo said and scooped me up in his arms.
I let out a little squeak in surprise. "Put me down."
"No," he said mildly. "You are a danger to yourself."
I made a hmph sound and he snickered.
- Rimmel & Romeo
”
”
Cambria Hebert (#Nerd (Hashtag, #1))
“
Italy: It's been a while since I slept with you, Romano.
Romano: Shut up! You should have at least two beds in your place!
Italy: How weird... I usually sleep together with Germany and Japan.
Romano: [Grabs Italy's throat] You still get along with them!
[Repeatedly bashes his head into his brother's]
Italy: Bro, I can't breathe. Bro, I can't breathe!
[Cut to Germany's office; his phone is ringing. He picks it up]
Italy: Germany, save me! I'm on my bed and my brother is- ow!
Romano: Not there!
Italy: It's stuck! OW!
Romano: Put down the phone, you fool!
Italy: TAKE IT OUT!
Romano: Put it down!
[Line goes dead]
Germany: [Slightly disturbed] His brother's... stuck..."ow"... take it out...
[Germany bursts into Italy's room]
Italy: Italy, are you okay! What's going-!
[He realizes the brothers' signature hair curls are merely tangled with each other]
Italy: Germany, you're late!
”
”
Hidekaz Himaruya
“
His bike was lying against the curb, and he righted it, holding the handlebars. “What I do, I do out of hate, not humanity. Because punishing assholes gets me off—not saving victims. And actually all this . . .” He cast his gaze around us. “This isn’t doing a fucking thing for me. So if you’re not going to jump, I’d just as soon be home in bed.”
Home. Well, there was one question answered.
Face burning, I shook my head. “No, I’m not jumping.”
“Great.” He slung a leg over his crossbar. Face utterly unchanged, the Badger drew his infamous Glock from inside his hoodie, took aim, and shot me in the thigh from five feet.
“Ow, Jesus!” White paint exploded across my favorite jeans, and a bolt of exquisite pain promised a welt.
“That’s for wasting my time,” he said, replacing the pistol. “I’m too fucking tired for false alarms, so next time have the decency to jump.”
My slack mouth produced no words. I watched him glide away, silent and passive once more. As ever.
I glanced at my palm, streaked with white from where I’d grabbed my leg. Looked and felt just like when a bird shits on your hair. You pray it’s a raindrop, but it never is.
Fuck you too, Badger.
”
”
C.M. McKenna (Badger)
“
I can’t help it: I laugh.
I don’t mean too, it just kinda comes out on its own. I smoosh my hands against my mouth to block the sound, but this causes me to snort, and snot comes out of my nose. I try to cover it up and jerk my left hand up, but it bounces off my nose and I poke myself in the eye. My eyes water as I hiss and knuckle my eyeball, but I’ve still got snot on my hand and gets all up in there, making it burn even more. Ow. I want to turn and run, but I’m temporarily blinded by my own devices and I know, I just know, that this big kid is probably some popular jock and I am forever going to be stuck with the nick-name Booger Eye Snot Face. I ask God quietly if he wouldn’t mind opening the ground beneath my feet and allow me to fall down a chasm to save me from myself. The ground doesn’t open. I’m still laughing, but it’s that high-pitched thing I do when I find something really funny. I hate that laugh. It always sounds like a clan of female hyenas all going into labor at the same time. Yip! Yip! Ayyyyyyyy! Yip! Yip! Ayyyyyyyy
”
”
T.J. Klune
“
Much. so there is free dessert involved here." I put my hand to my forehead. "oh, that i had discovered the job first!"
Ryan laughs. "tragic."
want to hear something tragic? my dad is going to a Christian singles' retreat."
Ryan nearly spits out his coffee. "your dad?" he is shacking.
Brandon wallops him on the back a few times. Ryan holds his hands up at him, coughing. "Stop," he croaks, standing. he inhales a few times and gets his voice back. "You would have to tell me this when my mouth was full, wouldn't you?" he sits again.
I smile broadly.
a Christian singles' retreat?" he repeats
Yep," Brandon says. "Get the name: Marley's Michigan Marriage Makers."
I cover my face
Ryan's expression twists. " thats.... interesting," he says slowly
Hallie frowns. "If its a Christian retreat, why is it called Marley's?"
Its a denomination in Michigan," Brandon says. "Marlotist. I just call them Marley for fun."
I double over until my head hits the table.
There is not a denomination called Marlotist," Hallie says.
Is too. I visited one of their churches when I went to Michigan to ski one time," Brandon says.
My eyes blur with tears from laughing so hard and holding it all in. My shoulders start shaking.
Brandon levels a good kick to my shin.
Ow!" I reach for my leg.
What is the name of it, Laurie?" Ryan asks.
Meet Your Match in Michigan"
Brandon scowls at me. " Spoilsport.
”
”
Erynn Mangum (Rematch (Lauren Holbrook, #2))
“
She's probably just tired of seeing you miserable.Like we all are," I add. "I'm sure...I'm sure she's as crazy about you as ever."
"Hmm." He watches me put away my own shoes and empty the contents of my pockets. "What about you?" he asks, after a minute.
"What about me?"
St. Clair examines his watch. "Sideburns. You'll be seeing him next month."
He's reestablishing...what? The boundary line? That he's taken, and I'm spoken for? Except I'm not. Not really.
But I can't bear to say this now that he's mentioned Ellie. "Yeah,I can't wait to see him again. He's a funny guy, you'd like him.I'm gonna see his band play at Christmas. Toph's a great guy, you'd really like him. Oh. I already said that,didn't I? But you would. He's really...funny."
Shut up,Anna. Shut.Up.
St. Clair unbuckles and rebuckles and unbuckles his watchband.
"I'm beat," I say. And it's the truth. As always, our conversation has exhausted me. I crawl into bed and wonder what he'll do.Lie on my floor? Go back to his room? But he places his watch on my desk and climbs onto my bed. He slides up next to me. He's on top of the covers, and I'm underneath. We're still fully dressed,minus our shoes, and the whole situation is beyond awkward.
He hops up.I'm sure he's about to leave,and I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed,but...he flips off my light.My room is pitch-black. He shuffles back toward my bed and smacks into it.
"Oof," he says.
"Hey,there's a bed there."
"Thanks for the warning."
"No problem."
"It's freezing in here.Do you have a fan on or something?"
"It's the wind.My window won't shut all the way.I have a towel stuffed under it, but it doesn't really help."
He pats his way around the bed and slides back in. "Ow," he says.
"Yes?"
"My belt.Would it be weird..."
I'm thankful he can't see my blush. "Of course not." And I listen to the slap of leather as he pulls it out of his belt loops.He lays it gently on my hardwood floor.
"Um," he says. "Would it be weird-"
"Yes."
"Oh,piss off.I'm not talking trousers. I only want under the blankets. That breeze is horrible." He slides underneath,and now we're lying side by side. In my narrow bed. Funny,but I never imagined my first sleepover with a guy being,well,a sleepover.
"All we need now are Sixteen Candles and a game of Truth or Dare."
He coughs. "Wh-what?"
"The movie,pervert.I was just thinking it's been a while since I've had a sleepover."
A pause. "Oh."
"..."
"..."
"St. Clair?"
"Yeah?"
"Your elbow is murdering my back."
"Bollocks.Sorry." He shifts,and then shifts again,and then again,until we're comfortable.One of his legs rests against mine.Despite the two layers of pants between us,I feel naked and vulnerable. He shifts again and now my entire leg, from calf to thigh, rests against his. I smell his hair. Mmm.
NO!
I swallow,and it's so loud.He coughs again. I'm trying not to squirm. After what feels like hours but is surely only minutes,his breath slows and his body relaxes.I finally begin to relax, too. I want to memorize his scent and the touch of his skin-one of his arms, now against mine-and the solidness os his body.No matter what happens,I'll remember this for the rest of my life.
I study his profile.His lips,his nose, his eyelashes.He's so beautiful.
”
”
Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French Kiss (Anna and the French Kiss, #1))