Matt Berry Quotes

aphorism 90: I am incorrigible. I would have every object of the universe mechanically predictable but myself.

aphorism 129: I would have every thought stoop and touch the Earth but that I already know the impossibility of the effort. A thought seems to have a life of its own and would rather leave itself open to flattering interpretations.

climb down this tree, I’m going to land right in his mouth! This is not what I was planning. The dog is licking its lips in anticipation of its next meal, me. No way. Not happening. I manage to scramble back up to the middle of the roof to reassess. I pick up my water pistol and have

You

I don't need to do a quick self-assessment to know that I read as super-duper straight. And, let's be real, a basic bitch. My hair is long past my shoulders, styled and sleek and very conventional. She's seen me in two dresses (and on the news, a million more dresses). My makeup is fairly heavy, not caked on, but I'm used to applying TV layers. I wear a lot of eyeliner. I have a variety of liquid matte lipsticks and berry lip glosses. I talk like a valley girl and drive a Honda Civic (at least it's not a white Jetta).