M Scott Peck People Of The Lie Quotes

When I say that evil has to do with killing, I do not mean to restrict myself to corporeal murder. Evil is that which kills spirit. There are various essential attributes of life -- particularly human life -- such as sentience, mobility, awareness, growth, autonomy, will. It is possible to kill or attempt to kill one of these attributes without actually destroying the body. Thus we may "break" a horse or even a child without harming a hair on its head. Erich Fromm was acutely sensitive to this fact when he broadened the definition of necrophilia to include the desire of certain people to control others-to make them controllable, to foster their dependency, to discourage their capacity to think for themselves, to diminish their unpredectibility and originalty, to keep them in line. Distinguishing it from a "biophilic" person, one who appreciates and fosters the variety of life forms and the uniqueness of the individual, he demonstrated a "necrophilic character type," whose aim it is to avoid the inconvenience of life by transforming others into obedient automatons, robbing them of their humanity. Evil then, for the moment, is the force, residing either inside or outside of human beings, that seeks to kill life or liveliness. And goodness is its opposite. Goodness is that which promotes life and liveliness.

necrophilia to include the desire of certain people to control others—to make them controllable, to foster their dependency, to discourage their capacity to think for themselves, to diminish their unpredictability and originality, to keep them in line.

While I generally find that great myths are great precisely because they represent and embody great universal truths (and will explore several such myths later in this book), the myth of romantic love is a dreadful lie. Perhaps it is a necessary lie in that it ensures the survival of the species by its encouragement and seeming validation of the falling-in-love experience that traps us into marriage. But as a psychiatrist I weep in my heart almost daily for the ghastly confusion and suffering that this myth fosters. Millions of people waste vast amounts of energy desperately and futilely attempting to make the reality of their lives conform to the unreality of the myth.

I feel compelled to make another 'nonapology.' Many readers are likely to be concerned about my use of masculine pronouns in relation to God. I think I both understand and appreciate this concern. It is a matter to which I have given much thought. I have generally been a strong supporter of the women's movement and action that is reasonable to combat sexist language. But first of all, God is not neuter. He is exploding with life and love and even sexuality of a sort. So 'It' is not appropriate. Certainly I consider God androgynous. He is as gentle and tender and nurturing and maternal as any woman could ever be. Nonetheless, culturally determined though it may be, I subjectively experience His reality as more masculine than feminine. While He nurtures us, He also desires to penetrate us, and while we more often than not flee from His love like a reluctant virgin, He chases after us with a vigor in the hunt that we most typically associate with males. As CS Lewis put it, in relation to God we are all female. Moreover, whatever our gender or conscious theology, it is our duty---our obligation---in response to His love to attempt to give birth, like Mary, to Christ in ourselves and in others. "I shall, however, break with tradition and use the neuter for Satan. While I know Satan to be lustful to penetrate us, I have not in the least experienced this desire as sexual or creative---only hateful and destructive. It is hard to determine the sex of a snake.

The more honest one is, the easier it is to continue being honest, just as the more lies one has told, the more necessary it is to lie again. By their openness, people dedicated to the truth live in the open, and through the exercise of their courage to live in the open, they become free from fear.

What rules, then, can one follow if one is dedicated to the truth? First, never speak falsehood. Second, bear in mind that the act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie, and that in each instance in which the truth is withheld a significant moral decision is required. Third, the decision to withhold the truth should never be based on personal needs, such as a need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect one’s map from challenge. Fourth, and conversely, the decision to withhold the truth must always be based entirely upon the needs of the person or people from whom the truth is being withheld. Fifth, the assessment of another’s needs is an act of responsibility which is so complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with genuine love for the other. Sixth, the primary factor in the assessment of another’s needs is the assessment of that person’s capacity to utilize the truth for his or her own spiritual growth. Finally, in assessing the capacity of another to utilize the truth for personal spiritual growth, it should be borne in mind that our tendency is generally to underestimate rather than overestimate this capacity. All this might seem like an extraordinary task, impossible to ever perfectly complete, a chronic and never-ending burden, a real drag. And it is indeed a never-ending burden of self-discipline, which is why most people opt for a life of very limited honesty and openness and relative closedness, hiding themselves and their maps from the world. It is easier that way. Yet the rewards of the difficult life of honesty and dedication to the truth are more than commensurate with the demands. By virtue of the fact that their maps are continually being challenged, open people are continually growing people. Through their openness they can establish and maintain intimate relationships far more effectively than more closed people. Because they never speak falsely they can be secure and proud in the knowledge that they have done nothing to contribute to the confusion of the world, but have served as sources of

Of the myriad lies that people often tell themselves, two of the most common, potent and destructive are “We really love our children” and “Our parents really loved us.” It may be that our parents did love us and we do love our children, but when it is not the case, people often go to extraordinary lengths to avoid the realization. I frequently refer to psychotherapy as the “truth game” or the “honesty game” because its business is among other things to help patients confront such lies. One of the roots of mental illness is invariably an interlocking system of lies we have been told and lies we have told ourselves. These roots can be uncovered and excised only in an atmosphere of utter honesty. To create this atmosphere it is essential for therapists to bring to their relationships with patients a total capacity for openness and truthfulness. How can a patient be expected to endure the pain of confronting reality unless we bear the same pain? We can lead only insofar as we go before.

The more closely we rub shoulders with or against evil, the more likely it is that we may become evil ourselves.

its principal weapon is fear.

What rules, then, can one follow if one is dedicated to the truth? First, never speak falsehood. Second, bear in mind that the act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie, and that in each instance in which the truth is withheld a significant moral decision is required. Third, the decision to withhold the truth should never be based on personal needs, such as a need for power, a need to be liked or a need to protect one’s map from challenge. Fourth, and conversely, the decision to withhold the truth must always be based entirely upon the needs of the person or people from whom the truth is being withheld. Fifth, the assessment of another’s needs is an act of responsibility which is so complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with genuine love for the other. Sixth, the primary factor in the assessment of another’s needs is the assessment of that person’s capacity to utilize the truth for his or her own spiritual growth. Finally, in assessing the capacity of another to utilize the truth for personal spiritual growth, it should be borne in mind that our tendency is generally to underestimate rather than overestimate this capacity.

Having recently visited Las Vegas, my own latest vision of hell is that it is an endless slot-machine emporium, far removed from the variety of night and day, monotonously noisy with the repetitive clamor of meaningless jackpots, jammed with dull-eyed people spasmodically yet regularly yanking machines for all eternity.

How could a whole people have gone to war not knowing why? The answer is simple. As a people we were too lazy to learn and too arrogant to think we needed to learn. We felt that whatever way we happened to perceive things was the right way without any further study. And that whatever we did was the right thing to do without reflection. We were so wrong because we never seriously considered that we might not be right.

M. Scott Peck, in his groundbreaking book People of the Lie, called the devil “a real spirit

whenever war is waged, some human beings have lost their moorings and that some (more likely many) have succumbed to evil. Whenever there is war, someone is at fault.

M. Scott Peck’s classic book People of the Lie.

„Măsura-probabil cea mai bună- a măreției unei persoane este capacitatea de a suferi''.

Cleaning up boundaries with parents and children. If you’ve been taking care of your parents, you can resign (unless they are truly unable to care for themselves; even so, caretaking can be assigned to someone else). Confront them. If they don’t get it, take care of yourself. You know better than I the devices your parents use to keep things as they are. Some parents respond to honest confrontation. Some are willing to accompany their children to therapy to fix the relationship, and some need to experience your unwillingness to continue in the old ways before they understand that you’re serious. Sadly, some parents are so afraid or so damaged by addictions or dysfunctional lives that they’ve lost the capacity for honesty. People of the Lie, by M. Scott Peck, describes the consequences of making choices against health and openness.

The evil create for those under their dominion a miniature sick society.

Vindecarea constituie rezultatul iubirii. Este o functie a iubirii. Oriunde exista iubire exista vindecare. Si oriunde nu exista iubire exista totusi putina - dar pretionasa - vindecare. In mod paradoxal, o psihologie a raului trebuie sa fie o psihologie prin care se manifesta iubirea. Trebuie sa fie plina de iubire de viata.

Crescuti fara iubire, copiii ajung sa creada despre sine ca nu merita sa fie iubiti. Am putea spune ca aceasta este legea generala a dezvoltarii copiilor : ori de cate ori exista un deficit major in iubirea parentala, e foarte probabil ca respectivul copil sa raspunda la acest deficit presupunand ca el este cauza deficitului si dezvoltand, prin urmare, o imagine de sine negativa nerealista.

The utter failure to submit oneself to reality is called autism.

Because their willfulness is so extraordinary—and always accompanied by a lust for power—I suspect that the evil are more likely than most to politically aggrandize themselves.

I know now that one of the characteristics of evil is its desire to confuse.

She would have engulfed the entirety of Angela’s self into her narcissistic ego had Angela not been able to retreat behind a moat of silence.

and need not hurt or involve the average American citizen at all until it is too late.

Nothing can give us more pleasure than the sense that we are wanted and useful. Conversely, nothing is more productive of despair than a sense that we are useless and unwanted.

Therapy can work only when the patient feels himself to be accepted by the therapist.

Some rudimentary form of conscience must precede the act of lying. There is no need to hide unless we first feel that something needs to be hidden.

Evil originates not in the absence of guilt but in the effort to escape it.

the malignantly narcissistic insist upon “affirmation independent of all findings.

the twin progenitors of evil: laziness and narcissism.

Orders are given and executed by individuals. In the last analysis, every single human act is ultimately the result of an individual choice.

the American people, at least during those war years, were also a people of the lie.

to intensify the power of group pressure

Often enough to know that whenever we judge another evil we may ourselves be committing evil.

it is characteristic of those who are evil to judge others as evil.

The understanding of basic reality is never something we achieve; it is only something that can be approached. And, in fact, the closer we approach it—the more we realize we do not understand —the more we stand in awe of its mystery.

Evil is also that which kills spirit. There are various essential attributes of life—particularly human life—such as sentience, mobility, awareness, growth, autonomy, will. It is possible to kill or attempt to kill one of these attributes without actually destroying the body.

simultaneously feeling relieved, profoundly grateful, and raped.

wherever there is evil, there’s a lie around,

the evil insist upon “affirmation independent of all findings

of utter loneliness it breaks down and accepts the offer of friendship, and thereby in the end even Satan is converted.

God cannot destroy;

But these are only echoes; a punishing God does not enter the picture ever again.

Satan has no power except in a human body.

its threats were empty. Satan’s threats are always empty. They are all lies.

The sight of a single bloody, mangled body horrifies us. But if we see such bodies all around us every day, day after day, the horrible becomes normal and we lose our sense of horror.

Any specialty group is a particular breed as a result of both self-selection and group selection.

A young man of lower-middle-class origins who is both aggressive and conventional, for instance, would be quite likely to seek a position on the force.

For the reality is that it is not only possible but easy and even natural for a large group to commit evil without emotional involvement simply by turning loose its specialists.

A draft—involuntary service—is the only thing that can keep our military sane. Without it the military will inevitably become not only specialized in its function but increasingly specialized in its psychology. No fresh air will be let In. It will become inbred and reinforce its own values, and then, when it is once again let loose, it will run amok as it did in Vietnam.

To do otherwise would have placed them in the painful and difficult position of having to rethink their attitudes. They did not take up the work required. It was easier to proceed blindly, as if nothing had changed.

Is it not strange that many pacifists are advocates of abortion? Or that those who would seek to deprive others of their choice to abort on the grounds that life is sacred are so often those who champion capital punishment?

The evil deny the suffering of their guilt—the painful awareness of their sin, inadequacy, and imperfection—by casting their pain onto others through projection and scapegoating. They themselves may not suffer, but those around them do. They cause suffering. The evil create for those under their dominion a miniature sick society.

An illness· or disease is any defect in the structure of our bodies or personalities that prevents us from fulfilling our potential as human beings.

Stress is the test for goodness. The truly good are they who in time of stress do not desert their integrity, their maturity, their sensitivity. Nobility might be defined as the capacity not to regress in response to degradation, not to become blunted in the face of pain, to tolerate the agonizing and remain intact.