Locker Room Funny Quotes

Hey, guys, I'm going to change,” Tony announced. “You all need to get out of here for a little bit.” “So fucking change. You change in the locker room all the time-what's the bug deal?” Slade asked. Tony groaned and his eyes narrowed at Slade. “Oh. Gotcha!” Slade turned and announced, “Everybody ...

She said my glasses made me look like a butch jock's locker room bitch.

The guys are cool with me being an out and proud player but get all weirded out when I go into details. Granted, I probably overshare way more than I should, but when I pointed out I had to listen to them talk about their hookups with puck bunnies, suddenly the entire team became stand-up dudes who speak respectfully about women in locker rooms. Funny how that works. Apparently, the cure to toxic masculinity is to show them how it feels to be talked about like a piece of meat. You’re welcome, ladies.

People tell jokes in the locker room about the pole vaulters. ‘When’s the best time to give a pole vaulter bad news?’” Cornelius pondered this for a moment, then gave up. “When?” he asked. “When he’s finished licking one end of the pole and is turning it around to lick the other end!” Kara said. “Even though I don’t really get it, that’s still pretty funny,

Sure you don’t. And you didn’t look anything like that Mr. Doolittle in the Pride and Prejudice movie you made me watch.” I cringe. “It’s Mr. Darcy,” I correct her over my shoulder, escaping the chilly morning air by heading to the locker room. “And this situation is not worthy of comparison to that.

Simpson chuckles as he shoots the shit about his relationship with his girlfriend, Paula Barbieri. He volunteers a story from after his last breakup with Nicole. She had returned an expensive diamond bracelet he’d given her as a birthday present. Simpson then presented it to Paula and pretended he’d bought it for her. Scamming one woman immediately after his breakup with another, who, at that moment, was lying on a cold metal coroner’s table! I couldn’t believe the way he told Vannatter and Lange about that. “I get into a funny place here on all this, all right?” he says. Wink-wink nudge-nudge. “Yeah,” they chime back. You could practically hear the towels snapping in the men’s locker room.