Lcsw Quotes

When the burden is not yours to carry, put it down.

With the earth firmly beneath our feet, we can approach what attracts us, and withdraw from what unnerves us. If there is real danger, we can run. Mobility means security, both physically and emotionally. Flying takes away our most basic way of regulating feelings.

Sometimes by simply sharing ourselves we become pillars for other people

like to thank the many people who have assisted and supported me in this work. First, thanks to the Johns Hopkins University Press and its editors, who have believed in me from the fi rst: thanks to Anders Richter, who shepherded me through the publication of the fi rst edition, and to Jacqueline Wehmueller, who inherited me from Andy after his retirement and encouraged me to write a second and now a third edition of the book. She has been a constant and steadfast source of inspiration and support for this and many other projects. Immeasurable thanks is owed to my teachers and mentors at Johns Hopkins, Paul R. McHugh and J. Raymond DePaulo, and to my psychiatric colleagues (from whom I never stop learning), especially Jimmy Potash, Melvin McInnis, Dean MacKinnon, Jennifer Payne, John Lipsey, and Karen Swartz. Thanks to Trish Caruana, LCSW, and Sharon Estabrook, OTR, for teaching me the extraordinary importance of their respective disciplines, clinical social work and occupational therapy, to the comprehensive treatment of persons with mood disorders. And thanks, of course, to my partner, Jay Allen Rubin, for much more than I could ever put into words. x ■ pre face

It's never too early to start lecture kids about race and racism. The following pointers will assist you in getting the conversation started. Sara D. Lee, MSW, LCSW, shares her tips for talking about race with our youngsters. Inspect her website Pacific Burnout Therapy or on Facebook. Conversations about race are always happening around us. Always. Of media, and each person participates in the least times. A bit like during a painting, where the filled and blank spaces close to doing the whole work, both what's said and what's left unsaid matter. For instance, I adore Mr. Rodgers. Still, the absence of 1 or more celebrated paternal figures of color in children's media is an example of racism shaping the children's conversation on race. An Asian-American, Latinx, Native-American, or African-American father figure could have filled that role if it didn't require a singular blend of access and privilege that our society exclusively extends to the White race.

Caroline Goldberg, LCSW, LLC is a well-known and respected psychotherapist who has two locations in Wayne and Highland Park New Jersey. Carolyn has over 30 years of expertise. Her dedication and collaborative approach assist her patients in coping and making better decisions. A detailed list of available therapy can be seen on Carolyn's website.

Today, as women, we often find ourselves taking care of our children, our parents, our friends, our lovers. We extend grace and compassion toward others so easily, yet we often struggle to make space and time to put ourselves first.

Sometimes, exiting a space allows your roots to spread and your potential to grow.

Research suggests that undiagnosed girls with ADHD are at risk of low self-esteem, underachievement, and other disorders (such as depression and anxiety). Without intervention, undiagnosed girls will carry these problems with them into adulthood.

Types of Degrees for Professionals When you begin to investigate therapists, you will probably see a wide array of initials following their names. That alphabet soup indicates academic degrees, licenses, and/or certifications. Remember that just because the professional has a lot of impressive degrees, that doesn’t mean that he or she is the right therapist for you. The most important thing is to feel completely comfortable with the person so you can speak honestly about your feelings. If you are uncomfortable or intimidated, your time with the therapist will not be effective. When finding a therapist, you should look for one with a master’s degree or a doctorate in a mental-health field. This shows that he or she has had advanced training in dealing with psychological problems. Therapists’ academic degrees include: M.D. (Doctor of Medicine): This means that the doctor received his or her medical degree and has had four years of clinical residency. M.D.s can prescribe medication. Ph.D. (Doctor of Philosophy) and Psy.D. (Doctor of Psychology): These professionals have had four to six years of graduate study. They frequently work in businesses, schools, mental-health centers, and hospitals. M.A. (Master of Arts degree in psychology): An M.A. is basically a counseling degree. Therapists with this degree emphasize clinical experience and psychotherapy. M.S. (Master of Science degree in psychology): Professionals with this degree are more inclined toward research and usually have a specific area of focus. Ed.D. (Doctor of Education): This degree indicates a background in education, child development, and general psychology. M.S.W. (Master of Social Work): An M.S.W. is a social-work degree that prepares an individual to diagnose and treat psychological problems and provide mental health resources. Psychiatric social workers make up the single largest group of mental health professionals. In addition to the various degrees therapists may hold, there are also a number of licenses that may be obtained. These include: M.F.C.C.: Marriage, Family, and Child Counselor M.F.T. Marriage and Family Therapist L.C.S.W.: Licensed Clinical Social Worker L.I.S.W.: Licensed Independent Social Worker L.S.W.: Licensed Social Worker

Difficult people can make our lives miserable. They often try to convince us that our boundaries are unreasonable or that we’re mean, unfair, or irrational. However, when someone doesn’t respect our boundaries, it doesn’t mean that we’re asking too much or shouldn’t set boundaries. Other people’s inability or unwillingness to respect our boundaries usually reflects their difficulty with self-management or empathy, not that our needs or boundaries are wrong.

It’s helpful to become aware of how your mind and body respond to difficult people so you can take steps to care for and protect yourself. Before answering the following questions, you may need to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations for several days or weeks and then record your answers.

When dealing with difficult people, we need to take a different approach to setting boundaries than we do with most people. Strategies such as trying to compromise or sharing our feelings won’t work. Instead, we need to focus on being safe, avoiding power struggles, and knowing what we can control. Otherwise, we’ll get stuck in unproductive conversations that deteriorate into arguments, blaming, ultimatums, or worse.

past behavior is usually a strong indicator of future behavior. It’s important not to minimize the dangerous things this person has done or the ways he or she has harmed you or others.

Arguing, or even negotiating, with someone who isn’t interested in understanding you or lacks empathy won’t be productive. Try to see this for what it is—a distraction—and don’t take the bait.

Regardless, it’s hard to accept that some people won’t respect us or our boundaries. And even when we focus on what we can control, they may try to sabotage our boundaries with guilt, bullying, and belittling. This is another power play commonly used by difficult people to try to control us. They think that if they make us feel bad enough about setting limits, we’ll back down and they’ll be able to do whatever they want.

Directly calling a difficult person out on their manipulative behavior will cause conflict or further abuse; it won’t result in the person taking responsibility or changing.)

Don’t sugarcoat a difficult person’s behavior. You need to name the behavior for what it is: control, manipulation, and abuse. Doing this makes it clear that their behavior is unacceptable, not your fault, and not something you can change. Seeing harmful behavior for what it is can help you accept an imperfect solution, such as getting a divorce or not allowing your children to visit their grandparents.

Grieving the end of a relationship, or accepting any imperfect solution, is a process that includes remembering why you made this decision, accepting your feelings, finding healthy outlets for your feelings, and treating yourself with kindness.

Why this boundary matters to you. Example: This boundary matters because I need to keep my son safe. You have the right to set boundaries. Example: I have the right to decide who or what comes into my home. When other people respond unfavorably, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. Example: My father’s anger doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong. You’re not responsible for how other people feel about your boundaries or how they respond. Example: My father’s feelings and actions aren’t my responsibility. It’s not my job to make him feel better.

We don’t always like other people’s boundaries; we don’t like being told no or having to compromise. But if we can’t respect other people’s boundaries, our relationships will suffer. We’ll be frequently frustrated and annoyed, we’ll have more arguments, and ultimately, people won’t want to be around us. When we respect other people’s boundaries, we accept their right to self-determination, to do what’s right for themselves. This builds trust and emotional safety because others are more likely to be open and honest with us if they experience us as respectful and nonjudgmental.

Difficult people often leave us with few choices for setting and enforcing boundaries, which is why we may choose to accept imperfect solutions.

In an ideal world, people would enthusiastically embrace our boundaries and understand our needs and feelings, but this is a fantasy when dealing with difficult people. Because they refuse to change or compromise, we often need to make difficult choices and do things that feel harsh or unloving, such as limiting or ending contact with them, but that are truly in our best interest.

Whatever the response, it’s unlikely to be a sincere attempt to change. The more you reason, plead, or threaten, the more defensive, angry, or manipulative the difficult person will become. This leaves you with one choice—do what’s in your power to improve your life.

For the most part, difficult people won’t comply with requests to change their behavior. They’ll respond with anger (like Amir’s father), deny there’s a problem (like Nigel), play the victim, agree to change but never follow through, or even laugh in your face and walk away.

kindness is more productive and will lead to better results in the future.

An insincere apology that blames the victim or invalidates their feelings (like the second example) can cause more harm.

takes courage to admit when you’ve disrespected someone’s boundaries, but to create and sustain mature and satisfying relationships you need to be able to acknowledge your mistakes, apologize, and change your behavior. I hope you’re now more aware of how you violate other people’s boundaries, understand that you’re not the only one who struggles with

mindfulness skills allow us to focus attention in the moment in order to recognize that we have a choice about how to proceed.

Aida Manduley, LCSW, is a Latinx activist, trauma-focused clinician with a basis in liberation health and healing justice, and a human discotheque. They say, The biggest lie that we’re told—and I would say that this goes for everyone, just in different flavors—the lie that we’re told is that we have to do it by ourselves. No one does anything by themselves. Any person who says they got to where they are by themselves is lying, either actively lying or deeply misinformed and spouting a lie. Look, find me any famous person, find me any philosopher, find me any person who’s made it into the history books. A huge reason why they were able to is because they had people making their food and caring for their children, driving their cars, or horse buggies or whatever. None of these people did it by themselves. The fact that they got help was just erased. So now, other people think, “Oh, well, I gotta do it myself. This other person did it, so clearly, I gotta do it, too.” That’s not how it worked for them either. Actually, they got a lot of help.