Karla Mclaren Quotes

We work with nutrition and exercise to increase our energy, but we ignore the richest source of energy we possess—our emotions.

Without our emotions, we can’t make decisions; we can’t decipher our dreams and visions; we can’t set proper boundaries or behave skillfully in relationships; we can’t identify our hopes or support the hopes of others; and we can’t connect to, or even find, our dearest loves.

intelligences. If we subscribe to the false idea that being emotional is the opposite of being rational, we’ll set up

cry as often as you need to. It’s the all-purpose healing balm of the soul.

Emotions are always true, but they're not always right.

If we ignore and repress an emotion, we won’t erase its message—we’ll just shoot the messenger and interfere with an important natural process. The unconscious then has two choices: to increase the intensity of the emotion and present it to us one more time (this is how unresolving moods or escalating emotional suffering may be activated), or to give up on us and stuff the emotional energy deep into our psyches. Now, that instinct will no longer be readable as itself—as fear or anger or despair—but it will still contain all its original intensity and information. Usually, this squelched intensity mutates into something else, like tics, compulsions, psychosomatic illness, addictions, or neuroses. Repressing our emotions is a perilous way to manage them.

Interior turmoil arises when we realize that we may have hurt, degraded, or frightened someone with our many outbursts. We’ll feel some sense of release with the expression of our strong emotions, but we’ll be disappointed about our poor relating skills or ashamed about our lack of control. Expressing strong emotions at others can damage our ego structure and our sense of self-esteem. Then, our lowered self-esteem tends to make us less able to manage our emotions properly the next time, and we tend to slide into an almost uncontrollable habit of flinging our strong emotions all over the place. We become trapped in a cycle of attacks and retreats, enmeshment and isolation, and explosions and apologies. Our internal checks and balances seem to get broken, and we become emotionally volatile.

Therefore, dissociation and distraction function as survival skills that offer a sense of distance when we’re overwhelmed by stimuli.

In an anger emergency, you should set your own boundary strongly before attempting to intervene. You don’t need to feel angry; you can just brighten your boundary with the color, quality, or felt sense you use when you’re angry.

When we brought empathy into the situation, we became more intelligent about emotions and about being emotional.