β
Sometimes you have to say fuck it and throw your life down the drain just to see where youβll come out on the other side. The most profound beauty emerges from the ashes of destruction. And by that, I mean that sometimes you have to burn your life to the ground in order to experience the life that is truly meant for you.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
A profound sadness washes over me as I watch my friends bond with their moms, sharing everything from secret crushes to their dreams for the future.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Iβm over it. Iβm reclaiming my body and rejecting the notion that I exist only to be visually pleasing.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I shut my eyes and pray: βPlease, God. Please send me a sugar daddy. I promise Iβll be so good. Iβll never do anything bad again.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Because the truth is, anyone who is someone first started out as a delusional dreamer.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
it seems like he always has to be reading a few books at once. One isnβt enough to quiet the noise in his head.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I donβt have experience as a dominatrix but I certainly have some experience in hating men.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
It is in letting go that we are forced to carve our own destiny. We must be willing to relinquish all we once held dear if we are holding on with fear. If you believe in the power within yourself, anything is possible.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
The poorest of all men is not the man without a cent, but the man without a dream." --Julia Gast in Red Fox Woman
β
β
Judy Ann Davis (Red Fox Woman)
β
When I see him using every bit of strength to inch his body close to mine, I am filled with a love so visceral, it could shatter the earth. I am his. And he is mine. Itβs the kind of love that claws its way out of your gut, rips you apart, and puts you back together again. He is worth all the blood and pain, all the tears, and all the sleepless nights.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
you cloak your offence by ignorance, saying that you did not know my determination in this matter. it is a double offence to do ill and color it so.
β
β
Julia Fox (Jane Boleyn: The True Story of the Infamous Lady Rochford)
β
They don't realize how much they mean to me. It's different for them since they have each other, but I don't have anyone
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
The rest of the trip, Iβm fuming. Did I seriously just wait sixteen hours to get slapped in the face in front of the dead pope? I didnβt even get to have a moment with him!
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Iβm forced to face the unsettling reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are sometimes the same people we need protection from.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
And by that, I mean that sometimes you have to burn your life to the ground in order to experience the life that is truly meant for you. It is in letting go that we are forced to carve our own destiny. We must be willing to relinquish all we once held dear if we are holding on with fear. If you believe in the power within yourself, anything is possible. Because the truth is, anyone who is someone first started out as a delusional dreamer.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I pretend it doesnβt bother me, but it does. It isnβt fair that he can move on so fast while Iβm left to do the emotional labor of picking up all the pieces.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
It feels like Iβm in the passenger seat and this demon inside me is at the wheel and as I yell for it to stop, it slams on the pedal and next thing I know, Iβm in a terrible predicament.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I wouldnβt be where I am today without the countless mistakes I made to get here. Itβs okay to live with regret. Itβs not okay to let it consume you. Sometimes you have to say fuck it and throw your life down the drain just to see where youβll come out on the other side. The most profound beauty emerges from the ashes of destruction.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I want to love him but I often find myself wishing he could just be an asshole all the time. This way I wouldnβt have all these inner battles with myself. I learn to navigate my way through shattered expectations and constant disappointments by putting an impenetrable wall up between us. Every time I let my guard down, Iβm quickly reminded why my defenses were up in the first place.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
When Iβm not with Trish, I go to the stores in the neighborhood to steal cute clothes for her. A tank top with a bedazzled Playboy bunny, a Von Dutch hat, bell-bottom jeans with suede ties on the front. I teach her how to steal so she can be self-sufficient and take better care of herself. The goal is to blend in with the private school girls. If people assume weβre rich, they wonβt suspect us of stealing. I understand the power of appearance, and I see how rich people are regarded.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I want to love him but I often find myself wishing he could just be an asshole all the time. This way I wouldn't have all these inner battles with myself. I learn to navigate my way through shattered expectations and constant disappointments by putting an impenetrable wall up between us. Every time I let my guard down, I'm quickly reminded why my defenses were up in the first place. It's nearly impossible for me to flourish in an inconsistent hostile environment, especially when my own growth is so intertwined with his. I'm forced to face the unsettling reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are sometimes the same people we need protection from.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Still, it wouldnβt escape anyone that Julia was his third dead wife.
β
β
Angie Fox (Sweet Tea and Spirits (Southern Ghost Hunter, #5))
β
Barnes & Noble, notes from your bookseller:
Scott Slater's brilliant debut Down the Hole is a mosaic of Julia Donaldson charm, Jon Klassen magnetism and Ryan T. Higgins humor. Adam Ming's art is the perfect pairing for Slater's story about a fox and rabbit trying to outsmart each other... with possible dire consequences. Down the Hole has everything you'd want in a picture book.
β
β
Scott Slater (Down the Hole)
β
It is in letting go that we're forced to carve our own destiny.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
Sometimes you have to say fuck it and throw your life down the drain just to see where youβll come out on the other side. The most profound beauty emerges from the ashes of destruction.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I sit in the darkness of Andrewβs small studio apartment, rereading my text conversations with Gianna, scrolling through old photos, watching the videos on my phone of us play-fighting. In one clip I chased her down my hallway and blocked the doorway so she wouldnβt go home. I wish I could teleport back to that moment and live there for the rest of my life.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I realize that part of this job is reading between the lines; I have to know what they want before they've even come to terms with it. I understand this secret to this trade.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I'm miserable, but still, I can't let him go. When did he become both the hero and the villain in my story?
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
The truth is, anyone who is someone first started out as a delusional dreamer.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
The most profound beauty emerges from the ashes of destruction.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
I feel miniature too, but not in an insignificant way. I feel small in a way that feels exciting, like I have yet to be discovered.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I've been driving on the fine line between ultimate freedom and complete and utter loneliness. Some nights, if I'm too tired to drive, I pull over on the side of the road and watch the shooting stars from my sunroof until I fall asleep. My phone doesn't have service out here, so I often only have the compass app to navigate. I get lost time and time again, but somehow I end up exactly where I need to be.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
But now everyone is wearing latex.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
We have the best sex of our lives while agreeing to keep the relationship platonic
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
When the ick and the guilt become too much to bear, I break up with him.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
It's nearly impossible for me to flourish in a consistent, hostile environment. Especially when my own growth is so intertwined with his. I am forced to face the unsetting reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are the same people we need protection from.
I slowly begin to scrub away at my femininity, which has proved to be unsustainable in this environment. "Man up, don't be a pussy" my dad shouts at me as I cry. I have to be tougher, I have to be more independent. I have to be resilient. I have to be more like him.
I hide my developing body under baggy shirts and pants and I never wear pink, pink is for pussies.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
As different as we are, we all have one thing in common: We just want to feel better
β
β
Julia Fox
β
I'm forced to face the unsettling reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are sometimes the same people we need protection from.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
I nudge him and grab the joint out of his hands, taking a hit, inhaling like a pro. I chase it with a swig of Jack Danielβs. βIβm an old soul, I guess.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Iβm his dirty little secret and heβs made it clear that I need to protect that.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Youβre supposed to be here. God wanted you to be here and receive food from someone who wanted to feed you something she was supposed to be eating but she gave it to you instead. God put you here. God kept the heart in your chest beating. God gave you this food through Nurse Happy-Go-Lucky. So you could do something.
β
β
Julia Fox Garrison (Don't Leave Me This Way: Or When I Get Back on My Feet You'll Be Sorry)
β
You wouldnβt believe what comes on that Fox channel, Julia.
β
β
Ann B. Ross (Miss Julia Meets Her Match (Miss Julia, #5))
β
...reassures me that she knows how much I love her, and encourages me to live my life and not be boring because she will be living through me now.
β
β
Julia Fox
β
My dad treats books like an escape. He gets lost in the pages of the books he reads, and it seems like he always has to be reading a few books at once. One isnβt enough to quiet the noise in his head.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I start coming to the realization that thereβs something wrong with this. It canβt be normal to feel everything at such an elevated state.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Every time I let my guard down, Iβm quickly reminded why my defenses were up in the first place. Itβs nearly impossible for me to flourish in an inconsistent hostile environment, especially when my own growth is so intertwined with his. Iβm forced to face the unsettling reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are sometimes the same people we need protection from.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
It feels like I played the lottery and got every number right except the very last one, instantly crushing any faith I had in life.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
Iβve been driving on the fine line between ultimate freedom and complete and utter loneliness. Some nights, if Iβm too tired to drive, I pull over on the side of the road and watch the shooting stars from my sunroof until I fall asleep. My phone doesnβt have service out here, so I often have only the compass app to navigate. I get lost time and time again, but somehow I end up exactly where I need to be.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
He is never going to stop being abusive, and the worst part is he doesnβt even recognize his actions as abuse.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
But mostly, I love the warm, calming sensation of knowing that Iβm going to be taken care of.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I want to love him but I often find myself wishing he could just be an asshole all the time. This way I wouldnβt have all these inner battles with myself. I learn to navigate my way through shattered expectations and constant disappointments by putting an impenetrable wall up between us. Every time I let my guard down, Iβm quickly reminded why my defenses were up in the first place. Itβs nearly impossible for me to flourish in an inconsistent hostile environment, especially when my own growth is so intertwined with his. Iβm forced to face the unsettling reality that the people who are supposed to protect us are sometimes the same people we need protection from. I
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)
β
I may have chosen the wrong partner for me, but I definitely chose the right father for our son. And thatβs all that matters to me.
β
β
Julia Fox (Down the Drain)