Jlo Quotes

But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

Is there a short-eared koobish, then?' Mmmyes ...' said J.Lo. 'But it is technically not really a koobish. Is more alike a kind of singing pumpkin.' We had conversations like these all the time, where I just eventually gave up.

Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of my mouth, I knew it sounded dumb. Dumb, I thought and maybe even wrong. You...are a boy, aren't you?' I asked. 'I mean, don't take that the wrong way or anything -' J.Lo is a boy, yes.' I let that go. So...you Boov have boys and girls...just like us?' Of course,' said J.Lo. 'Do not be ridicumlous.' I smiled a wan little smile. 'Sorry.' The Boov have seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, girlboy, boygirl, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy.' I had absolutely no response to this.

YOU have no room to laugh, that's all. I'm not doing any worse with Boovish than you did with English.' Get off of the car,' J.Lo huffed. 'I am an English superstar.' Uh-uh. There's no comparison. 'Gratuity' in written Boovish has seventeen different bubbles that all have to be the right size and in the right place. 'J.Lo' in written English only has three letters, and you still spelled it 'M-smiley face-pound sign.

Can I come into the out now? - Jlo

We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.

We could have made it to the Arizona border in a few more hours if we hadn't been distracting each other with stupid little arguments. Don't get me wrong; I liked J.Lo fine. I've made that bed. But I'm not sure there's a person in the world I could be with twenty-four hours a day for three weeks without getting a little snippy. If I ever meet such a person, I'm marrying them.

[J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of. 'It's not a police car,' I said. 'It is,' said J.Lo. 'Looknow. Lights for flashing.' 'That's true.' 'Writing on the sides.' 'Yeah, but the writing? It says ''BullShake Party Patrol.'' Yes. Whatnow?

This is exciting," said J.Lo. "We are sneaky agent men, like Bond James Bond." "I don't know where you pick this stuff up.

Look," I said halfheartedly. "Another one of those tumbleweeds made out of old hair weaves." "Tumbleweave," said J.Lo.

All Beyoncé and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful.

All American politicians are bought and paid for by American lobbyists. We no longer have representative government here. We breed monsters like Kissinger and Nixon and Ronnie Reagan. Our senate and congress are run by pay-offs and special interest money. And the fun part is that most Americans are asleep about it. Give 'em a new SUV and a good J-Lo or Tom Cruise kung-fu flick and a few jolly abortion clinic bombing news clips on the six o'clock news and everybody seems to stay content. Wasn't it Churchill that said any society gets exactly the government it deserves?

J.Lo gasped. When I looked to see why, he had one hand to his mouth and the other pointing at me. "You . . ." he squealed, wagging his finger. ". . . your hand!" I raised my hand to my face, turning it over and back again. "What? What's wrong with it?" "You are bearing the mark! The mark that has been foretold! You are The One . . . The One who will bring peace onto the galaxy!" "What, this? This is taco sauce," I said, wiping it clean. J.Lo stared at my palm for a moment, then turned back to the wall. "Never mind," he said.

You are singing to the preacher," said J.Lo. "Preaching to the choir," I corrected him. "Yes. This thing.

Just call me the JLo of Interpol.

I scattered J.Lo's tools around the car, searching for some kind of rope, or something that could be used like a rope. I should have paid more attention to anything that looked like a pencil sharpener made of lemon Jell-O that, when cranked, would spit out superstrong yarn that smelled like ginger ale. I only mention this because J.Lo really did have such a thing.

I meow now?" hissed J.Lo when she was gone. "What comes next? Do I juggle fire?" "Look, I'm sorry, but it's good this happened. Mrs. Hoegaarden will probably tell people you meow, and we'll spread the word, too, and soon if anybody hears Pig they'll just think it's you." "Yes!" droned J.Lo, throwing his hand up. "A foolproof plan! Thank Mother Ocean that you do not use your genius for evil.

She stood almost a foot shorter than him, but that had never been a problem, given most of their conversations had been horizontal. The years had filled out her curves, and she wore those few extra pounds of plush well, especially below the flare of her hips. The ass that dethroned JLo, or some shit. Her shapely figure had its own press corps. A woman like this was built to be bedded, and often.

So instead of asking the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” perhaps the better question is “Why do good people think bad things can even happen?” Bad is nothing but a judgment call, a judgment call we’re not qualified to make. Just like American Idol hasn’t requested your services next to JLo and Keith Urban, you aren’t qualified to judge what is good and bad.

Why did you attack some girl's boots?" J.Lo looked incredulous. "She is still mad about this?" he huffed. "I TOLD her-I THOUGHT they were ANKLEwolves." "Okay, whatever. I-" "Why elsenow would a person wear fur with shortpants? It makes no sense!

All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful.

Ohh!" said J.Lo. "Oooooh! My tummy!" I set him down. "Are you okay? I thought they missed us." "It...must not work on humans. Feel like i could marf....Like I could marf right out my poomp," J.Lo insisted.

But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation

forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you. All Beyoncé and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes

So I sang the first Italian song that came into my head, which turned out to be “Volare.” I’m sure I need not mention at this point that I am a rock star, and it sounded fantastic. J.Lo

J.Lo looked miserable. You wouldn’t think you could tell that when a person’s wearing a ghost suit, but you can.

I jerked my head at the billboard and asked J.Lo, “What is that thing even trying to sell me, anyway?” “Eh,” said J.Lo as he tried to think of how to explain it. “Is a kind of strap for people whose eyes are too big. Aslike a bra for your face.