Ischia Quotes

It was an old fear, a fear that has never left me: the fear that, in losing pieces of her life, mine lost intensity and importance. And the fact that she didn’t answer emphasized that preoccupation. However hard I tried in my letters to communicate the privilege of the days in Ischia, my river of words and her silence seemed to demonstrate that my life was splendid but uneventful, which left me time to write to her every day, while hers was dark but full.

I liked to discover connections like that, especially if they concerned Lila. I traced lines between moments and events distant from one another, I established convergences and divergences. In that period it became a daily exercise: the better off I had been in Ischia, the worse off Lila had been in the desolation of the neighborhood; the more I had suffered upon leaving the island, the happier she had become. It was as if, because of an evil spell, the joy or sorrow of one required the sorrow or joy of the other; even our physical aspect, it seemed to me, shared in that swing.

I suppose it had never struck him that, Ischia, which he looked at every evening to see what the weather would be like the next day, or Vesuvius, pearly in the dawn, had anything to do with him at all; but when he ceased to have them before his eyes he realized, in some dim fashion that they were as much part of him as his hands and his feet.

I missed only Lila, Lila who didn’t answer my letters. I was afraid of what was happening to her, good or bad, in my absence. It was an old fear, a fear that has never left me: the fear that, in losing pieces of her life, mine lost intensity and importance. And the fact that she didn’t answer emphasized that preoccupation. However hard I tried in my letters to communicate the privilege of the days in Ischia, my river of words and her silence seemed to demonstrate that my life was splendid but uneventful, which left me time to write to her every day, while hers was dark but full.

these days of exotic splendour may stand out in each lifetime like marble mileposts in an alluvial land

Am I clear? Am I making myself clear? And yet in Ischia I was happy, full of love. But it was no use, my head always finds a chink to peer through, beyond - above, beneath, on the side - where the fear is. In Bruno’s factory, for example, the bones of the animals cracked in your fingers if you merely touched them, and a rancid marrow spilled out. I was so afraid that I thought I was sick. But was I sick? Did I really have a murmur in my heart? No. The only problem has always been the disquiet in my mind. I can’t stop it, I always have to do, redo, cover, uncover, reinforce, and then suddenly undo, break.

hatalar ve düşler ve soluk görüntüler vardı çevresinde zafer takının ve sahte inançlar kapıların üzerinde ve kaygan umut ediş merdivenlerde ve zararlı kazanç ve yararlı zarar ve basamaklar, en çok çıkanın en aşağı indiği; yorucu dinlenme ve dinlendirici eziyet, parlak onursuzluk ve karanlık ve kara utku, aldatan bağlılık ve değişmeyen aldanma, tetikte delilik ve âtıl akıl; açık yollardan gittiğimiz, dar yollardan büyük güçlükle kaçtığımız hapis; hızlı inişler girmek için, çıkmak için yokuşlar; içeride, fırtınalı bir kargaşa, iç içe geçmiş kesin elemler ve belirsiz sevinçlerle. asla kaynamamıştır vulcano, lipari ya da ischia, stromboli ya da etna böyle azgın öfkeyle: bu tehlikeli oyuna atılan, pek az seviyordur kendini. böyle karanlık ve dar kafese kapatıldık, orada ağardı saçlarım kısa sürede ve değişti genç çehrem; ve onca zaman, hep özgürlüğü düşleyip, ruhumu, büyük arzunun hazır ve hafif kıldığı, avutuyordum geçmiş şeyleri görerek. bakıyordum, güneşteki kara dönmüş ben, birçok ünlü ruha, karanlık hapsin içinde, kısa sürede uzun resme bakar gibi, ayak ileri gider hani, göz geriye döner. (aşkın utkusu iii, 139-165)

But what does that mean, protect, it’s only a word. I could make you, now, a detailed list of all the coverings, large and small, that I constructed to keep myself hidden, and yet they were of no use to me. Do you remember how the night sky of Ischia horrified me? You all said how beautiful it is, but I couldn’t. I smelled an odor of rotten eggs, eggs with a greenish-yellow yolk inside the white and inside the shell, a hard-boiled egg cracked open. I had in my mouth poisoned egg stars, their light had a white, gummy consistency, it stuck to your teeth, along with the gelatinous black of the sky, I crushed it with disgust, I tasted a crackling of grit. Am I clear? Am I making myself clear? And yet on Ischia I was happy, full of love. But it was no use, my head always finds a chink to peer through, beyond—above, beneath, on the side—where the fear is. In Bruno’s factory, for example, the bones of the animals cracked in your fingers if you merely touched them, and a rancid marrow spilled out. I was so afraid that I thought I was sick. But was I sick? Did I really have a murmur in my heart? No. The only problem has always been the disquiet of my mind.

Fiz a descida toda no escuro. Agora via-se a Lua entre nuvens ralas de rebordos claros e a noite estava perfumada, ouvia-se o ruído hipnótico das ondas. Já na praia tirei os sapatos, a areia era fria, uma luz azul-cinza alongava-se até ao mar e depois espalhava-se pela extensão trémula da água. Pensei: sim, a Lila tem razão, a beleza das coisas é uma caracterização, o céu é o trono do medo; estou viva, neste momento, aqui a dez passos da água e na verdade isso não é belo, é aterrador; faço parte, juntamente com esta praia, com o mar, com o fervilhar de todas as formas animais, do terror universal; neste momento sou a partícula infinitesimal através da qual o terror de cada coisa toma consciência de si; eu; eu que oiço o ruído do mar, que sinto a humidade e a areia fria; eu que imagino Ischia inteira, os corpos abraçados de Nino e Lila, Stefano a dormir sozinho na casa nova cada vez menos nova, as Fúrias a favorecerem a felicidade de hoje para alimentarem a violência de amanhã. Sim, é verdade, tenho muito medo e por isso desejo que tudo acabe depressa, que as imagens dos pesadelos me comam a alma. Desejo que desta obscuridade saiam bandos de cães raivosos, víboras, escorpiões, enormes serpentes marinhas. Desejo que enquanto estou aqui sentada, à beira do mar, surjam da noite assassinos que me martirizem o corpo. Oh, sim, que eu seja castigada pela minha inadaptação, que me aconteça o pior, algo tão devastador que me impeça de fazer frente a esta noite, ao dia de amanhã, às horas e aos dias que me confirmarão, com provas cada vez mais esmagadoras, a minha constituição inadequada.

possessions.