β
She has fought many wars, most internal. The ones that you battle alone, for this, she is remarkable. She is a survivor.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
She was like the sun,
She knew her place in the world -
She would shine again regardless
of all the storms and changeable weather
She wouldn't adjust her purpose
for things that pass.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
β
β
Anne Frank (The Diary of a Young Girl)
β
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
β
β
Hunter S. Thompson
β
I said, but I have to go, there are so many places calling my name.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
There is something incredibly beautiful about a woman, who knows herself, she can't break, she just falls but in every fall she rises, past who she was before.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Be a woman of confidence, not cockiness.
Know your boundaries, set no limits.
Speak your kindness and turn your back to conformed groups.
The only way to be a woman of change in this world, is to walk what you talk and set your own soul free first.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
The problem is normal was'nt in my DNA. I was destined to be forever freakish.
β
β
Julie Hockley (Crow's Row (Crow's Row, #1))
β
Pray to God, but row towards shore.
β
β
Lee Ezell
β
Oh darling, your only too wild, to those whom are to tame, don't let opinions change you.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
She was a gypsy, as soon as you unravelled the many layers to her wild spirit she was on her next quest to discover her magic. She was relentless like that, the woman didn't need no body but an open road, a pen and a couple of sunsets.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
In an era where women undress their outfits & give their bodies so carelessly, become the rare wild woman that undresses her mind and soul & knows the worth of what she has to offer.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
The further I wake into this life, the more I realize that God is everywhere and the extraordinary is waiting quietly beneath the skin of all that is ordinary. Light is in both the broken bottle and the diamond, and music is in both the flowing violin and the water dripping from the drainage pipe. Yes, God is under the porch as well as on top of the mountain, and joy is in both the front row and the bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are.
β
β
Mark Nepo (The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have)
β
Healing your wounds will hurt, so cry.
Cry your pretty little heart out until you have nothing left to shed, that's how beauty is grown;
through the darkest of our days we become the light.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
She wore her battle scars like wings, looking at her you would never know that once upon a time she forgot how to fly
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
These people will try to manipulate you, try to bring you down but remember baby girl you are a queen, own your crown.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
But anyway, I look around sometimes and I think - this will maybe sound weird - it's like the corporate world's full of ghosts. And actually, let me revise that, my parents are in academia so I've had front row seats for that horror show, I know academia's no different, so maybe a fairer way of putting this would be to say that adulthood's full of ghosts."
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I quite --"
"I'm talking about these people who've ended up in one life instead of another and they are just so disappointed. Do you know what I mean? They've done what's expected of them. They want to do something different but it's impossible now, there's a mortgage, kids, whatever, they're trapped. Dan's like that."
"You don't think he likes his job, then."
"Correct," she said, "but I don't think he even realises it. You probably encounter people like him all the time. High-functioning sleepwalkers, essentially.
β
β
Emily St. John Mandel (Station Eleven)
β
What made her most beautiful, was the way she quietly touched those around her unknowingly changing the lives of the many, she smiled at. She didn't want praise; approval or admiration, she just wanted all of whom she loved to be the most authentic side of themselves & openly living to the means of their hearts & truth.
β
β
Nikki Rowe (Once a Girl, Now a Woman)
β
The only cure to all this madness; is too dream, far and wide, if possibility doesn't knock, create a damn door. If the shoe doesn't fit, don't make it. If the journey your travelling seems to far fetched and wild beyond your imagination; continue on it, great things come to the risk takers. And last but not least, live today; here, right now, you'll thank your future self for it later.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Your job doesnβt define youβyour bravery and kindness and gratitude do. Even without any βbigβ accomplishments yet to your name, you are enough. Whether you have top billing, or youβre still dancing in the back row, you are enough, just as you are.
β
β
Lauren Graham (In Conclusion, Don't Worry About It)
β
If tragedy never entered our lives, we wouldn't appreciate the magic.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
She was always fighting a battle but her smile would never tell you so.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Art is my cure to all this madness, sadness and loss of belonging in the world & through it I'll walk myself home.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
It's still ok to dream with a broken heart.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Her wild heart was rare, she saw blessings were most saw burdens & if one thing was certain; her smile was like a flower in the sunshine
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Contrary to your beliefs, I am stronger then what you give me credit for, but the real lesson here is the knowledge to know I don't owe you an explanation to anything.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Stories are made about girls like you. The wild ones, those rare faces that smile in the midst of chaos.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Some days i am the artist,
Other days i am art and
When life gets real weird,
I become both.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I have danced too deeply in my shadows, to ever fear the walk of my sunshine.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
You are the energy you attract. Whether you are aware of that or not, everything you come up against is teaching you about that part within yourself. Listen carefully, it's a hint to a better you.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie.
β
β
Lemony Snicket (Who Could That Be at This Hour? (All the Wrong Questions, #1))
β
Give yourself permission to let it hurt but also allow yourself the permission to let it heal.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I create beautiful art, so I can look back on the life my body fell short of in such a way that it brings me peace.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I learnt my best lessons from some of the worst people & I look back now and think thank fuck I let you go, I deserved to grow.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
You have to keep doing it,
Even if no one is watching.
The best artists, are those
Who live from their expressions,
Not chasing the impressions.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
You could tell she was a free spirit, a gypsy, just by looking at her. A smile like that doesn't come from a sad soul.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
i loved her, for she was beauty dressed in a selfless personality and the skin of unconditional love. A voice of truthful melody and eyes holding a vision so large, maybe, just maybe she was born to change the world.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
There ARE people who won't customarily eat an entire row of cookies, or hear food calling their name from other rooms, or who don't grind up food in the garbage disposal for fear of eating it, or get it back out of the garbage so they could eat it. Of course, my binge eating was just a cover-up for the larger issue: Trying to fill the emptiness
β
β
SARK (Transformation Soup: Healing for the Splendidly Imperfect)
β
Don't follow your passion, but always bring it with you.
β
β
Mike Rowe
β
I live by feeling, my intuition surfaces with the radiance of the moon; and the footing I take must be walked in truth.
this world is too dark to think of it any other way.
β
β
Nikki Rowe (Once a Girl, Now a Woman)
β
I have a fear of living a surface kind of life;
barely existing, barely touching or tasting anything. That's why you'll always see me giving my all or walking away ~ I'm too full of depth to dance in the middle of anything.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Theres a remarkable amount of strength residing in those who move forward without being able to physically move. Ones that carry the weight of illness or a disability, they battle wars most know nothing about. They are the true warriors of the world, the ones who have every reason to quit but never do.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I dance to the beat of the earth the memories are the lyrics I write nature leads my soul through this existence I call life.
β
β
Nikki Rowe (Once a Girl, Now a Woman)
β
I don't wear the opinions of others anymore, I learnt to dress myself.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
There is so much power in choosing to love yourself against all odds and I hope with every kind of painful experience you become more aware who you are and what you are truly capable of. Life hurts but it's also remarkabley beautiful if you look past the chaos.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Maybe the future is like rowing for shore. Your only choice is to try or give up.
β
β
Kristen Chandler (Wolves, Boys and Other Things That Might Kill Me)
β
it's often been said, she's easy on the eye but the moment she shows you a slice of her personality, you'll feel for the first time, something of magic is walking on this earth.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
It takes courage to become authentic. So many talk about the light but not enough speak the truth about the struggles it takes to get there and the tools to overcome it all.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Cherish the beauty and cherish the pain, both will give you experience and you will never be the same
β
β
Nikki Rowe (Once a Girl, Now a Woman)
β
Only those who row the boat make waves
β
β
Christina Dodd (Some Enchanted Evening (Lost Princesses, #1))
β
there is a silent beauty hidden amongst pain, if you sit in it you may never find it; if you grow through it, You'll find the treasure.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
she will never grow old, her heart is too beautiful.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Somewhere along the journey i lost myself; i learnt to be who they told me to be, i lived that girl for decades until their truth showed me; the words they were preaching didnt match the the steps they were walking, so i was done with their opinion and went on my unique way.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Of all the paths you take, follow only those where your heart is wide open, mind enriched and your soul learns to dance.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
The girl was a gypsy before an illness took control of her legs, now she watches in awe the world pass by whilst stillness teaches her about inner strength.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
A moment can change the way you view the world, and the way you view the world will give you more moments.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Have you ever played chess, Kitty?β
I eyed her. What did a board game have to do with this? βNot really.β
βYou and I should play sometime. I think you would like it,β she said. βItβs a game of strategy, mostly. The strong pieces are in the back row, while the weak piecesβthe pawnsβare all in the front, ready to take the brunt of the attack. Because of their limited movement and vulnerability, most people underestimate them and only use them to protect the more powerful pieces. But when I play, I protect my pawns.β
βWhy?β I said, not entirely sure where this conversation was going. βIf theyβre weak, then whatβs the point?β
βThey may be weak when the game begins, but their potential is remarkable. Most of the time, theyβll be taken by the other side and held captive until the end of the game. But if youβre carefulβif you keep your eyes open and pay attention to what your opponent is doing, if you protect your pawns and they reach the other side of the board, do you know what happens then?β
I shook my head, and she smiled.
βYour pawn becomes a queen.β She touched my cheek, her fingers cold as ice. βBecause they kept moving forward and triumphed against impossible odds, they become the most powerful piece in the game. Never forget that, all right? Never forget the potential one solitary pawn has to change the entire game.
β
β
Aimee Carter (Pawn (The Blackcoat Rebellion, #1))
β
The magic of life hides in the dusty corners of chaos and you must sweep out the cobwebs of confusion before you reach the calm & euphorically moments; your soul believed, existed all along.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
My reality isn't as gracious as it use to be, so I create things that are.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man." ~ Charles Darwin
β
β
Ghiselle St. James (South Row)
β
someday we will forget the hardship, and the pain its cause us; we will realise, hurt is not the end. lessons appear to teach us strength, we learn happiness is an inside job and to cure our insanity we must not fear what is to come, but believe in what we've been taught.
β
β
Nikki Rowe (Once a Girl, Now a Woman)
β
He who discovers the light, discovers life.
He who discovers the dark, discovers death,
Neither are wrong and neither are right; your perception is what will guide your path. Our minds are our tools, our hearts our truth and our instinct our guidance, don't let them fool you.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
You wake up oneday and it's different, not so much in a physical way but in the way you look at things. I think when you reach that primary moment in your life, you finally have the courage to let go of the human attachments and start to live in a way that compliments your heart and soul.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I believe that many modern women, my mother included, carry within them a whole secret New England cemetery, wherein they have quietly buried- in neat little rows- the personal dreams they have given up for their families
β
β
Elizabeth Gilbert (Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage)
β
Forgot what you think and remember what you feel.
β
β
Nikki Rowe (Once a Girl, Now a Woman)
β
She had something more than material value ~ she had a soul, no money could buy.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Because when I dream, I feel no fear,
And when I am fearless, I am my most creative self.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Don't let hollow heroes distract you from saving yourself.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I lost all I had known and gained a life I was yet to know.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
she will change the world someday, her cure of love in a world gone mad; is the gentle kind of touch that will teach women to grow and men to rise.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Let your feet Take you places, let them remind you of the beauty your eyes can't see.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I guess it's human nature to question yourself, to question why all the pain has had to happen? sometimes there isn't any answers it just is what it is and how we make ourselves feel and see through that, is what will determine how we move forward.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
THE CURSE
May they never
Return home at night...
May you have no part of eventide,
May you have no room of your own,
Nor road, nor return.
May your days be all exactly the same,
Five Fridays in a row,
Always an unlucky Tuesday,
No Sunday,
May you have no more little worries,
Tears or inspiration,
For you yourself are the greatest worry on earth:
Prisoner!
β
β
Visar Zhiti (The Condemned Apple: Selected Poetry (Green Integer) (Albanian Edition))
β
Im happy to sit and be an ear to listen when the world gets wild but Id much prefer to watch the ways your eyes in sparkle in the midst of convincing me why you love the things you do. It gives me hope that someone else out there feels everything with this much depth and has the willingness to create a beautiful life from it.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
if by chance I fall; I'll learn what I had to, get up, stand up and live the rest of my life.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Know your worth and love yourself in such a way that anyone who is no good for you, wont be able to reach you.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Someone asked them a question about their poetry, and whether it was hard having to relive their words each time they performed. Their reply was that although they had moved beyond that--from the person or event that inspired their words at that point in time--it doesn't mean someone listening to them wasn't in that. So? So what if heartache you wrote last year isn't what you're feeling today. It may be exactly what the person in the front row is feeling. What you're feeling now, and the person you may reach with your words five years from now--that's why you write poetry.
β
β
Colleen Hoover (Slammed (Slammed, #1))
β
Change your focus,
give power to the positive
and starve the negative.
We reduce our inner wisdom
to think with logic that's been
instilled in us whilst expecting
miraculous results. Retrain the core
issue and the pathway will build itself.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I urge you to sit with yourself for 5 minutes and pour your heart out, ask yourself the serious questions ~ not the day to day duties we get caught up in. I can assure you, the 5 minutes spent reflecting on the life you have lived and how much more you're yet to achieve will spark something in you that we all forgot we have.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
There is nothing more powerful than this moment your living, now, more powerful than your convictions and truths, spend time with what your heart desires and souls screams for. Life ends a day before we know it, it's so important to chase everything that matters to you.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
If your voice didnβt hold any power, people wouldnβt work so hard to make you feel so small.
β
β
Mickey Rowe (Fearlessly Different: An Autistic Actor's Journey to Broadway's Biggest Stage)
β
The thing is, there is no certainty in this life - in one second your entire world could shift. I'm not saying it will, but I am living proof that It can. We never prepare for tragedy and that's a good thing but my god what's it's taught me is how little we appreciate what we have or some cases once had.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
There's something beautiful about facing tragedy, you crack open a new, you find yourself in the parts of you; that can finally be explored freely with out judgement or guilt. Where to from here doesn't exist & your not sure when it will return, but there's something beautiful in facing tragedy, a new type of being within you is born and one whom is more fearless than ever before.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Some days I like to wander to old and warn our places, forests ripped apart by man and streams that carry stagnant water where it use to flow. There is a sense of clarity in these places, a reflection of who I am or atleast who I have been. Broken, yet still incredibly beautiful.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
she enetered the room and the entire crowd stopped, who was she? even in a million moons; you will never understand her, for she is to mysterious to presume and too wise to share her light to everyone. I wanted to love her, but i could tell, i wasnt the only one.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I will build queendoms out of wreckages, and navigate through the chaos with nothing but the certainty of my inner voice. I've often found when one chapter closes another will open, no matter how long the final pages seem.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
The Milky Way swooped diagonally across the heavens, reminding me of my utter insignificance, and at the same time my complete interconnection with everything. I was just a tiny speck of consciousness, and yet I was consciousness itself.
β
β
Roz Savage (Stop Drifting, Start Rowing: One Woman's Search for Happiness and Meaning Alone on the Pacific)
β
I chose to forgive. I chose to stay vigilant to any signs of anger or hate in my heart. They took thiry years of my life. If I couldn't forgive, if I couldn't feel joy, that would be like giving them the rest of my life.
The rest of my life is mine.
Alabama took thirty years.
That was enough.
β
β
Anthony Ray Hinton (The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row)
β
Maybe it's easier to conform, to stay in a job I hate to pay bills of the things I don't even enjoy and marry a man I'm not passionately in love with, whilst surrounded by those who have absolutely no life to their smile but I don't want easy. I never have. I want a life so fucking grande' I reach every little milestone in sweats or tears knowing I Followed what was true to my heart. I don't care if I walk alone for the rest of my days, if it means I get to stay true to myself.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
I mean to do something grand. I don't know what, yet; but when I'm grown up I shall find out.Perhaps,it will be rowing out in boats, and saving peoples' lives,like that girl in the book. Or perhaps I shall go and nurse in the hospital, like Miss Nightingale. Or else I'll head a crusade and ride on a white horse, with armor and a helmet on my head, and carry a sacred flag. Or if I don't do that, I'll paint pictures,or sing, or scalp β sculp β what is it? you know β make figures in marble. Anyhow it shall be something.
β
β
Susan Coolidge (What Katy Did)
β
There is tragedy all around us, we pick up pieces, we find our feet and before long another turn of events stare us in the eyes; like we're some kind of magician- the fight seems endless, so I look to the world for inspiration. I observe and I watch how others face adversity, some hide from it, some master each lesson and some create a life with it... Our lessons don't define us, our integrity to keep rising after every fall is.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
Everything is temporary,
almost like a passing fase,
some of laughter
Some of pain.
What we would do,
If we had the chance to explore
What we had taken for
Granted the very day before,
Some would say I'm selfish,
To hold a little sadness in my eyes,
But they don't feel the sorrow
When I can't do,
all that helps me feel alive.
I can express my emotions,
but I can't run wild and free,
My mind and soul would handle it
but hell upon my hip, ankle and knees,
This disorder came about,
as a friendship said its last goodbyes,
Soooo this is what I got given for all the years I stood by?
I finally stand still to question it, life it is in fact?
What the fuck is the purpose of it all if you get stabbed in the back?
And after the anger fills the air, the regret takes it places,
I never wanted to be that girl,
Horrid, sad and faded...
So I took with a grain of salt,
my new found reality,
I am not of my pain,
the disability doesnt define me.
I find away to adjust,
also with the absence of my friend,
I trust the choices I make,
allow my heart to mend.
I pick up the pieces
I retrain my leg,
I find where I left off
And I start all over again,
You see what happens...
When a warrior gets tested;
They grow from the ashes
Powerful and invested.
So I thank all this heartache,
As I put it to a rest,
I move forward with my life
And I'll build a damn good nest.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
When a job applicant starts telling me how Pacific Rim-job cuisine turns him on and inspires him, I see trouble coming. Send me another Mexican dishwasher anytime. I can teach him to cook. I can't teach character. Show up at work on time six months in a row and we'll talk about red curry paste and lemon grass. Until then, I have four words for you: 'Shut the fuck up.
β
β
Anthony Bourdain (Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly)
β
Truth is, life is going shake you, it will rip you right out of your comfort zone;just when you feel settled, it will shock you with some trauma and make you face adversity in the most undesirable of ways... And here is the question of it all? What's it all for... Not many search long enough to know but the wise ask you.. Are you going to be a slave to your journey or the pioneer to your dream, if God handed you a lesson ;he knew before your time, your strength could endure i. so next time you doubt another thought or feed your heart with negative emotions think about it... You are here, alive, breathing and if that's not enough than you should think about what is.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
She knew it was time,
What for was the mystery
but focused; she remained.
She turned her back on anything
that no longer served her strengths
nor taught her vital lessons with her weaknesses.
She said no without explanation
& assigned validation back just to parking spots.
She was fierce but gentle
and authentic in her approach to live even if it meant standing alone.
She knew the hard days weren't over but stood proud that she had already survived some of the worst.
She laughed in the midst of a mindfuck & gathered her worth with all the pieces of herself that have held her together throughout the years.
She knew it was time
What for was the mystery,
but focused; she remained.
She learnt that motherhood provided unconditional love doesn't have boundaries, it's pure in all its forms.
Family are rare connections.
Friendships are like shoes, not all will fit but when some do it's like you have won the lotto.
She learnt that every love was different and how important it was to keep her heart open for the possibility of being able to experience it just one more time.
β
β
Nikki Rowe
β
We wind up in cells of our own making when we're not generous, loving, compassionate, and forgiving. Without love we build dungeons in our hearts and fill them with our perceived enemies. We believe they deserve to be there for the harm they've caused us. But by imprisoning them we're destroying our own spirits. When our dungeons are overflowing with these prisoners we refuse to set free, we become slaves to our self-righteousness, our anger, resentments, and self-loathing, which we let multiply until we wind up imprisoned on our own death row.
β
β
Martin Sheen (Along the Way: The Journey of a Father and Son)
β
Iβve been labeled before. Iβm supposed to be a jock and then a brain and then one of those music/theater people. I guess I like to keep surprising people. But what kind of life can you live in a tiny square box? My personality is less narrow. I like a lot of different things. But still, people like to be able to put you in a category, to be able to place you in even rows and put a sign at the front. They think the best you can achieve is being at the front of your rowβ¦but why not form your own row? Isnβt that the definition of being a leader?
Maybe taking charge means something different nowadays. How come lately people think youβre a leader just because you happen to be at the front of the line? A good leader need only point the way and watch as others follow a direction, not a figure. A great leader can lead without anyone ever knowing it. A spectacular leader can lead without ever knowing it themselves. The person at the front of the line is the puppet of someone that you couldnβt name because someone else pointed the way. I must have missed something. I thought being a follower was letting other people shape your life. I thought it meant letting other people decide who you were going to be.
I wonβt conform. I wonβt let people class me. Because once youβre there youβre stuck. I will be whoever I want to be, and no one can stop me. I have something they donβt have, which is nothing to lose. I have my entire life to live and I intend to live it the way I would like to live. I will form my own row. I will point in a new direction. If that means going against other peoplesβ opinion of normal, then so be it. Who says normal is right? Normal certainly strikes me as a boring way to live my life.
β
β
K.D. Enos
β
Hope is my enemy. She is a sucuubus who descends upon sleeping humankind, whispering that there is a future. A broth future, as a matter of fact; as long as we persevere in extending our essences through the lives of our children, and through their children. She is a lost, a snakeoil salesman bartering chimira for generative fluid, which she sucks out of us before casting out withered husks onto the fire. And so we fall, row upon row like seasons of corn, but not until we relinquish our seed into her exploitive hands. For in the end, we all die, and only Hope lives on. And we for, sometimes mourned for a season, but presently forgotton. Ultimately, like it or not, we are the futures dirt. This is the state of affairs we choose to subject our children to
β
β
Jim Crawford (Confessions of an Antinatalist)
β
In India they tell a fable about this: There was once a great devotee of Vishnu who prayed night and day to see his God. One night his wish was granted and Vishnu appeared to him. Falling on his knees, the devotee cried out, "I will do anything for you, my Lord, just ask."
"How about a drink of water?" Vishnu replied.
Although surprised by the request, the devotee immediately ran to the river as fast as his legs could carry him. When he got there and knelt to dip up some water, he saw a beautiful woman standing on an island in the middle of the river. The devotee fell madly in love on the spot. He grabbed a boat and rowed over to her. She responded to him, and the two were married. They had children in a house on the island; the devotee grew rich and old plying his trade as a merchant. Many years later, a typhoon came along and devastated the island. The merchant was swept away in the storm. He nearly drowned but regained consciousness on the very spot where he had once begged to see God. His whole life, including his house, wife, and children, seemed never to have happened.
Suddenly he looked over his shoulder, only to see Vishnu standing there in all his radiance.
"Well," Vishnu said, "did you find me a glass of water?
β
β
Deepak Chopra (How to Know God (Miniature))
β
When you make a mistake with metal, you can melt things down and start afresh. It is irritating, and it costs in time and soot and sweat, but it can be done. There is a comfort in iron, knowing that a fresh start is always possible.
But a city is not a sword. It is a living thing, and living things defy simple fixing. Roots cannot be reforged. They scar, and broken branches must be cut and sealed with tar, and this makes me angry, as it always has, and my anger has no place to go.
It was easier when I was young. I could use my anger like a hammer against the world. I was so sure of myself and my friends and my rightness. I would hammer at the world, and breaking felt like making to me, and I was good at it. And while I was not wrong, neither was I entirely right.
Nothing is simple. I do not work in wood. I am not brave enough for that. There is a comfort in iron, a promise of safety, a second chance if mistakes are made. But a city is more a forest than a sword. No, it needs more tending than that. Perhaps a city is like a garden, then.
So these days, it seems I have become a gardener. I dig foundations in the earth. I sow rows of houses. I plan and plant. I watch the skies for rain and ruin. I cannot help but think that you would be better at this, but circumstance has put both of us in our own odd place. You are forced to be a hammer in the world, and my ungentle hands are learning how to tend a plot of land.
We must do what we can do.
Did you know that there are some seeds that cannot sprout unless they are first burned? A friend once told me that. She wasβ she was a bookish sort. I think of gardening constantly these days. I wear your gift, and I think of you, and I think it is interesting that there are some living things that need to pass through fire before they flourish.
I ramble. You have the heart of a gardener, and because of this, you think of consequence, and your current path pains you. I am not wise, and I do not give advice, but I have come to know a few things: sometimes breaking is making, even iron can start again, and there are many things that move through fire and find themselves much better for it afterward.
β
β
Patrick Rothfuss