“
I spent all night
weaving a poem for you
to wear. You look so beautiful
when you wear my light.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
Maybe I got sick of accusations, sick of being Polonius's daughter, and Laertes's sister, and Hamlet's girlfriend. Maybe I wanted, for a short while, simply to be myself.
”
”
Lisa Mantchev (Eyes Like Stars (Théâtre Illuminata, #1))
“
Why this candle?
Why this cake?
The day of my birth
is not today.
I was born
when you said, 'Hey.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
I wonder
if you ever read my poems
and wish
they were written
for you.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
You’re still here. No beer. I’m not corrupting a minor.”
“But you’re a minor,” she pointed out. “At least for beer.”
“Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I’m an adult if I kill somebody, but not if I want a beer?” Shane jumped in. “They’re all dicks.”
“Man, seriously, you are one cheap drunk. Three beers? My junior high girlfriend could hold her liquor better.”
“Your junior high girlfriend–” Shane brought himself up short without finishing that sentence, and flushed bright red. Must have been good, whatever it was. “Claire, get the hell out of here. You’re making me nervous.
”
”
Rachel Caine (Glass Houses (The Morganville Vampires, #1))
“
Everywhere I go,
your beauty spills
into my day.
The trees were
never this verdant.
The birdsong
never this sweet.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
He felt a little lost, after that experience. Lost as the girls on their knees. It was a never-ending story of young girls losing themselves, such that they were no longer humans with any souls or characters, but pretty girls with fat asses and nice tits.
”
”
Jess C. Scott (Take-Out, Part 1)
“
If I can’t be your love,
then let me be a simple brooch
so I may rest a while against your chest.
If I can’t be your love,
then let me be a forgotten coin
so I may rest a while against your thigh.
If I can’t be your love,
then let me be an unlit cigarette
so I may rest a while in between your lips.
If I can’t be your love,
then let me at least remain in these words
so I may rest a while in your thoughts.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
Someday I will stop being young and wanting stupid tattoos.
There are 7 people in my house. We each have different genders. I cut my hair over the bathroom sink and everything I own has a hole in it. There is a banner in our living room that says “Love Cats Hate Capitalism.” We sit around the kitchen table and argue about the compost pile and Karl Marx and the necessity of violence when The Rev comes. Whatever the fuck The Rev means.
Every time my best friend laughs I want to grab him by the shoulders and shout “Grow old with me and never kiss me on the mouth!” I want us to spend the next 80 years together eating Doritos and riding bikes. I want to be Oscar the Grouch. I want him and his girlfriend to be Bert and Ernie. I want us to live on Sesame Street and I will park my trash can on their front stoop and we will be friends every day. If I ever seem grouchy it’s just because I am a little afraid of all that fun.
There is a river running through this city I know as well as my own name. It’s the first place I’ve ever called home. I don’t think its poetry to say I’m in love with the water. I don’t think it’s poetry to say I’m in love with the train tracks. I don’t think it’s blasphemy to say I see God in the skyline.
There is always cold beer asking to be slurped on back porches.
There are always crushed packs of Marlboro’s in my back pockets. I have been wearing the same patched-up shorts for 10 days.
Someday I will stop being young and wanting stupid tattoos.
”
”
Clementine von Radics
“
Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out.
Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliché.
I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass.
I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool.
I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that?
Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive. But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days.
Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that.
But I'll still be ugly though.
Nothing's gonna change that.
”
”
Charlie Kaufman
“
What happens when I love,
you ask, does the world start
making sense?
No, my dear, it does not.
But it won’t matter to you then.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
Have a joke for me Tania," he says, "I could use a joke."
"Hmm." She thinks, looks at him, looks to see where Anthony is. He's far in the back. "Okay, what about this." With a short cough she leans into Alexander and lowers her voice.
"A man and his young girlfriend are driving in a car. The man has never seen his girlfriend naked. She thinks he is driving too slow, so they decide to play a game. For every five miles he goes above 50, she will take off a piece of her clothing. In no time at all, he is flying and she is naked. The man gets so excited that he loses control of the car. It veers off the road and hits a tree. She is unharmed but he is stuck in the car and can’t get out. “Go back on the road and get help,” he tells her. “But I’m naked,” she says. He rummages around and pulls off his shoe. “Here, just put this between your legs to cover yourself.” She does as she is told and runs out to the road. A truck driver, seeing a naked crying woman, stops. “Help me, Help me,” she sobs, “My boyfriend is stuck and I can’t get him out.”
The Truck driver says, “Miss, if he’s that far in, I’m afraid he’s a goner.
”
”
Paullina Simons (The Summer Garden (The Bronze Horseman, #3))
“
Nothing belongs to itself anymore.
These trees are yours because you once looked at them.
These streets are yours because you once traversed them.
These coffee shops and bookshops, these cafés and bars, their sole owner is you.
They gave themselves so willingly, surrendering to your perfume.
You sang with the birds and they stopped to listen to you.
You smiled at the sheepish stars and they fell into your hair.
The sun and moon, the sea and mountain, they have all left from heartbreak.
Nothing belongs to itself anymore.
You once spoke to Him, and then God became yours.
He sits with us in darkness now
to plot how to make you ours.” K.K.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
When I was a little girl I wanted to be a reindeer-the flying kind. I spent a couple years galloping around looking for lichen and fantasizing about boy reindeer. Then one day I saw Peter Pan and my reindeer phase was over. I didn't understand the allure of not growing up, because every little girl got boobs and go steady. I did understand that a flying Peter Pan was better than a flying reindeer. Mary Lou had seen Peter Pan too, but Mary Lou's ambition was to be Wendy, so Mary Lou and I made a good pair. On most any day we could be seen holding hands, running through the neighborhood singing, "I can fly! I can fly!" If we'd been older this probably would have started rumors.
The Peter Pan stage was actually pretty short-lived because a few months into Peter Pan I discovered Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman couldn't fly, but she had big, fat bulging boobs crammed into a sexy Wondersuit. Barbie was firmly entrenched as role model in the burg, but Wonder Woman gave her a good run for her money. Not only did Wonder Woman spill over her Wondercups but she also kicked serious ass. If I had to name the single most influential person in my life it would have to be Wonder Woman.
All during my teens and early twenties I wanted to be a rock star. The fact that I can't play a musical instrument or carry a tune did nothing to diminish the fantasy. During my more realistic moments I wanted to be a rock star's girlfriend.
”
”
Janet Evanovich (Three to Get Deadly (Stephanie Plum, #3))
“
You just wait.
Soon,
lovers all over the world
will be reciting poems
dedicated to you.
This is my promise.
”
”
Kamand Kojouri
“
A few years after I gave some lectures for the freshmen at Caltech (which were published as the Feynman Lectures on Physics), I received a long letter from a feminist group. I was accused of being anti-women because of two stories: the first was a discussion of the subtleties of velocity, and involved a woman driver being stopped by a cop. There's a discussion about how fast she was going, and I had her raise valid objections to the cop's definitions of velocity. The letter said I was making the women look stupid.
The other story they objected to was told by the great astronomer Arthur Eddington, who had just figured out that the stars get their power from burning hydrogen in a nuclear reaction producing helium. He recounted how, on the night after his discovery, he was sitting on a bench with his girlfriend. She said, "Look how pretty the stars shine!" To which he replied, "Yes, and right now, I'm the only man in the world who knows how they shine." He was describing a kind of wonderful loneliness you have when you make a discovery.
The letter claimed that I was saying a women is incapable of understanding nuclear reactions.
I figured there was no point in trying to answer their accusations in detail, so I wrote a short letter back to them: "Don't bug me, Man!
”
”
Richard P. Feynman
“
I think sometimes the bits of your life happen in the wrong order, or all at the same time and you waste time feeling angry about it, but that's the way it is, it's real life. You meet the person who you think could make you happy the rest of your life, but at the same time your ex-girlfriend who's told you umpteen times she never wants to see you again tells you you're going to be a dad.'
Elle took up the story.
'And then you move to another country and then the next time you see that person, even though its like no time has passed, you sleep together and then - your mum dies'
She gave a short, sad laugh.
'Yep that's rubbish timing
”
”
Harriet Evans (Happily Ever After)
“
Is Jace with you?"
"Uh, no," said Alec.
He wondered if Aline was asking for a specific reason. Aline and Jace had kissed in Alicante, before the war. Alec tried to think of what Isabelle usually said to girls about Jace.
"The thing is," he added, "Jace is a beautiful antelope, who has to be free to run across the plains."
"What?" said ALine.
Maybe Alec had gotten that wrong. "Jace is home with his, uh, his new girlfriend. You remember Clary." Alec hoped Aline was not too heartbroken.
"Oh right, the short redhead," she said. Aline was tiny herself, but refused to ever admit it. "you know, Jace was so sad before the war, I thought he must have a forbidden love. I just didn't think it was Clary, for obvious reasons. I thought it was that vampire."
Alec coughed. Aline offered him a sip of her latte.
"No," he said when he got his voice back. "Jace is not dating Simon. Jace is straight. Simon is straight."
"I totally saw scars on Jace's neck," Aline said. "He let the vampire bite him. He brought him to Alicante. I thought: classic Jace. Never makes a mess when a total catastrophe will do. Wait, did you think I wanted a ride on that disaster train?"
"Yes?" said Alec.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (The Red Scrolls of Magic (The Eldest Curses, #1))
“
My girlfriend showed up on Wednesday and we spent the afternoon making love. The constant creaking of my old bed really cracked her up. “It’s going to fall to pieces before long,” she predicted during a pause in our exertions. “There’ll be nothing left but splinters—we won’t be able to tell if they’re wood or pretzel sticks.” “Maybe we should try to make love more quietly.” “Maybe Captain Ahab should have hunted sardines,” she said. I thought about that for a moment. “Are you saying some things in this world can’t be changed?” “Kind of.” A short time later, we were back on the rolling seas, in pursuit of the great white whale. Some things really can’t be changed so easily.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Killing Commendatore)
“
Marcus and his girlfriend already have a daughter, Connie, which is not short for Constance but a standalone name. It is Connie on her birth certificate.
”
”
Fiona Mozley (Hot Stew)
“
All women need get-out-of-jail girlfriends.
”
”
Kimberly J. Dalferes (I Was in Love with a Short Man Once: And Other Tales from a Crazy Southern Irish Gal)
“
They’d apparently decided to end a dedicated, seven-year relationship over honey walnut shrimp.
”
”
Poem Schway (Speaking Up for Each Other: A Collection of Short Stories for Tweens and Middle Grade Readers)
“
I am not!” said the guy’s girlfriend, who was wearing a very short skirt, very high heels and the kind of complicated hairstyle that looks like it needs blueprints and a construction crew.
”
”
Paul Rudnick (It's All Your Fault)
“
The men her girlfriends dated were too often angry and muttering about oppression. One of the reasons she took to Skeet later in life was that he never went to that place; he believed with a firm positivity that he didn't need to waste time resenting real or imagined social constructs because he would always be ahead of them. The individual, not the people, was responsible for success or failure.
”
”
Jeff Hobbs (The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace: A Brilliant Young Man Who Left Newark for the Ivy League)
“
I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel as I looked around the empty lot. I wavered on getting out when a giant lightning bolt painted a jagged streak across the rainy lavender-gray sky. Minutes passed and still he didn’t come out of the Three Hundreds’ building.
Damn it. Before I could talk myself out of it, I jumped out of the car, cursing at myself for not carrying an umbrella for about the billionth time and for not having waterproof shoes, and ran through the parking lot, straight through the double doors. As I stomped my feet on the mat, I looked around the lobby for the big guy. A woman behind the front desk raised her eyebrows at me curiously. “Can I help you with something?” she asked.
“Have you seen Aiden?”
“Aiden?”
Were there really that many Aidens? “Graves.”
“Can I ask what you need him for?”
I bit the inside of my cheek and smiled at the woman who didn’t know me and, therefore, didn’t have an idea that I knew Aiden. “I’m here to pick him up.”
It was obvious she didn’t know what to make of me. I didn’t exactly look like pro-football player girlfriend material in that moment, much less anything else. I’d opted not to put on any makeup since I hadn’t planned on leaving the house. Or real pants. Or even a shirt with the sleeves intact. I had cut-off shorts and a baggy T-shirt with sleeves that I’d taken scissors to. Plus the rain outside hadn’t done my hair any justice. It looked like a cloud of teal.
Then there was the whole we-don’t-look-anything-alike thing going on, so there was no way we could pass as siblings. Just as I opened my mouth, the doors that connected the front area with the rest of the training facility swung open. The man I was looking for came out with his bag over his shoulder, imposing, massive, and sweaty. Definitely surly too, which really only meant he looked the way he always did.
I couldn’t help but crack a little smile at his grumpiness. “Ready?”
He did his form of a nod, a tip of his chin.
I could feel the receptionist’s eyes on us as he approached, but I was too busy taking in Grumpy Pants to bother looking at anyone else. Those brown eyes shifted to me for a second, and that time, I smirked uncontrollably.
He glared down at me. “What are you smiling at?”
I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, trying to give him an innocent look. “Oh, nothing, sunshine.”
He mouthed ‘sunshine’ as his gaze strayed to the ceiling.
We ran out of the building side by side toward my car. Throwing the doors open, I pretty much jumped inside and shivered, turning the car and the heater on. Aiden slid in a lot more gracefully than I had, wet but not nearly as soaked.
He eyed me as he buckled in, and I slanted him a look. “What?”
With a shake of his head, he unzipped his duffel, which was sitting on his lap, and pulled out that infamous off-black hoodie he always wore. Then he held it out.
All I could do was stare at it for a second. His beloved, no-name brand, extra-extra-large hoodie. He was offering it to me.
When I first started working for Aiden, I remembered him specifically giving me instructions on how he wanted it washed and dried. On gentle and hung to dry. He loved that thing. He could own a thousand just like it, but he didn’t. He had one black hoodie that he wore all the time and a blue one he occasionally donned.
“For me?” I asked like an idiot.
He shook it, rolling his eyes. “Yes for you. Put it on before you get sick. I would rather not have to take care of you if you get pneumonia.”
Yeah, I was going to ignore his put-out tone and focus on the ‘rather not’ as I took it from him and slipped it on without another word. His hoodie was like holding a gold medal in my hands. Like being given something cherished, a family relic. Aiden’s precious.
”
”
Mariana Zapata (The Wall of Winnipeg and Me)
“
When I stopped viewing girls as potential girlfriends and started treating them as sisters in Christ, I discovered the richness of true friendship. When I stopped worrying about who I was going to marry and began to trust God’s timing, I uncovered the incredible potential of serving God as a single. . . .
I believe the time has come for Christians, male and female, to own up to the mess we’ve left behind in our selfish pursuit of short-term romance. Dating may seem an innocent game, but as I see it, we are sinning against each other. What excuse will we have when God asks us to account for our actions and attitudes in relationships? If God sees a sparrow fall (Matthew 10:29), do you think He could possibly overlook the broken hearts and scarred emotions we cause in relationships based on selfishness?
Everyone around us may be playing the dating game. But at the end of our lives, we won’t answer to everyone. We’ll answer to God. . . .
Long before Seventeen magazine ever gave teenagers tips on dating, people did things very differently.
At the turn of the twentieth century, a guy and girl became romantically involved only if they planned to marry. If a young man spent time at a girl’s home, family and friends assumed that he intended to propose to her. But shifting attitudes in culture and the arrival of the automobile brought radical changes. The new “rules” allowed people to indulge in all the thrills of romantic love without having any intention of marriage. Author Beth Bailey documents these changes in a book whose title, From Front Porch to Backseat, says everything about the difference in society’s attitude when dating became the norm. Love and romance became things people could enjoy solely for their recreational value.
Though much has changed since the 1920s, the tendency of dating relationships to move toward intimacy without commitment remains very much the same. . . .
Many of the attitudes and practices of today’s dating relationships conflict with the lifestyle of smart love God wants us to live.
”
”
Joshua Harris
“
I squeezed through a horde of gum-snapping girls I recognized as seniors from my school.
“He did not say that!”
“Yes, he did! And you wouldn’t believe what she said!”
Please, someone tell me I wouldn’t be that annoying if I had girlfriends.
“Sure, you will be.”
I whipped around and nearly got a faceful of cotton candy. I moved the purple sugar cloud to the side and glared at my mother. She wore a white, short-sleeved blouse and a patchwork skirt.
“You have to stop listening in on my thoughts without my permission, Mom. It’s not cool.”
She shoved a piece of cotton candy in my mouth to shut me up. “I didn’t do it on purpose, Clarity. I was strolling along listening in to the crowd.”
“Pick up anything interesting?”
“Actually, I did. That detective’s son can’t stop checking out your legs. He loves this little pink dress you’ve got on. So much so that he’s actually mad at himself for it.” She shook her head.
I blushed. “Did you happen to pick up anything important?”
“Like a man walking along thinking, ‘I killed Victoria Happel’?”
“Exactly.”
“No such luck. But dear, people don’t wander around thinking about their biggest secrets all the time. The killer could be standing right next to me and all I might pick up from him is how he wants to buy some barbequed chicken.”
“Have you seen Billy Rawlinson or Frankie Creedon?” I asked.
Distaste turned her mouth down. “No. Why are you looking for those scoundrels?”
“Billy might be a witness in the case. Or a suspect.”
“I’ll keep my eyes out and my mind open.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Enjoy invading everyone’s privacy.
”
”
Kim Harrington (Clarity (Clarity, #1))
“
In their endeavor to score as much sex as possible, they'll tell women the opposite. Men know women feel pressure to be perfect so they 'throw them off the scent' with colorful stories to keep her focussed on pleasing him (short term). Like the one about how all his ex-girlfriends are supermodels. Or the one about his ex having sex with him ten times a day. (Clearly, a figment of his imagination.)
”
”
Sherry Argov
“
Rocky had a girlfriend, Adrian, who was always there, always by his side. When he was beaten and blinded in a bad fight, he called out for her before anybody else. “Yo, Adrian!” he shouted in his Philly-Italian accent. He needed her.
Eventually, I grew up, and the red shorts and blue bathrobe didn’t fit anymore, but I always remembered Rocky’s kindness and his courage. And that every Rocky needs an Adrian.
”
”
Jep Robertson (The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God: What Honesty and Pain Taught Us About Faith, Family, and Forgiveness)
“
Hey Pete. So why the leave from social media? You are an activist, right? It seems like this decision is counterproductive to your message and work."
A: The short answer is I’m tired of the endless narcissism inherent to the medium. In the commercial society we have, coupled with the consequential sense of insecurity people feel, as they impulsively “package themselves” for public consumption, the expression most dominant in all of this - is vanity. And I find that disheartening, annoying and dangerous. It is a form of cultural violence in many respects. However, please note the difference - that I work to promote just that – a message/idea – not myself… and I honestly loath people who today just promote themselves for the sake of themselves. A sea of humans who have been conditioned into viewing who they are – as how they are seen online. Think about that for a moment. Social identity theory run amok.
People have been conditioned to think “they are” how “others see them”. We live in an increasing fictional reality where people are now not only people – they are digital symbols. And those symbols become more important as a matter of “marketing” than people’s true personality. Now, one could argue that social perception has always had a communicative symbolism, even before the computer age. But nooooooothing like today. Social media has become a social prison and a strong means of social control, in fact.
Beyond that, as most know, social media is literally designed like a drug. And it acts like it as people get more and more addicted to being seen and addicted to molding the way they want the world to view them – no matter how false the image (If there is any word that defines peoples’ behavior here – it is pretention). Dopamine fires upon recognition and, coupled with cell phone culture, we now have a sea of people in zombie like trances looking at their phones (literally) thousands of times a day, merging their direct, true interpersonal social reality with a virtual “social media” one. No one can read anymore... they just swipe a stream of 200 character headlines/posts/tweets. understanding the world as an aggregate of those fragmented sentences. Massive loss of comprehension happening, replaced by usually agreeable, "in-bubble" views - hence an actual loss of variety.
So again, this isn’t to say non-commercial focused social media doesn’t have positive purposes, such as with activism at times. But, on the whole, it merely amplifies a general value system disorder of a “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT HOW GREAT I AM!” – rooted in systemic insecurity. People lying to themselves, drawing meaningless satisfaction from superficial responses from a sea of avatars.
And it’s no surprise. Market economics demands people self promote shamelessly, coupled with the arbitrary constructs of beauty and success that have also resulted. People see status in certain things and, directly or pathologically, use those things for their own narcissistic advantage. Think of those endless status pics of people rock climbing, or hanging out on a stunning beach or showing off their new trophy girl-friend, etc. It goes on and on and worse the general public generally likes it, seeking to imitate those images/symbols to amplify their own false status. Hence the endless feedback loop of superficiality.
And people wonder why youth suicides have risen… a young woman looking at a model of perfection set by her peers, without proper knowledge of the medium, can be made to feel inferior far more dramatically than the typical body image problems associated to traditional advertising. That is just one example of the cultural violence inherent.
The entire industry of social media is BASED on narcissistic status promotion and narrow self-interest. That is the emotion/intent that creates the billions and billions in revenue these platforms experience, as they in turn sell off people’s personal data to advertisers and governments. You are the product, of course.
”
”
Peter Joseph
“
Our society doesn't allow any foreign objects. I've always suffered because of that," Shiraha said, drinking jasmine tea made with a teabag from the drink bar. I was the one who had gotten the jasmine tea for him since he didn't make any move to get anything for himself. He just sat in silence, and when I placed it in front of him he started drinking it without even saying thank you.
"Everyone has to toe the line. Why am I still doing casual work even though I'm in my mid-thirties? Why haven't I ever had a girlfriend? The assholes don't even bat an eyelid when they ask whether I've ever had sex or not. And then they laugh and tell me not to include prostitutes in the count. I don't make trouble for anyone. But they all seem to think nothing of raping me, just because I'm in the minority."
I considered him one step short of being a sex offender. But here he was casually likening his own suffering to sexual assault, without sparing a thought for all the trouble he'd caused for women store workers and customers.
He seemed to have this odd circuitry in his mind that allowed him to see himself only as the victim, and never the perpetrator, I thought was I watched him.
"Really," I said, even wondering whether he made a habit of being self-pitying. "That must be hard.
”
”
Sayaka Murata (コンビニ人間 [Konbini ningen])
“
…for only someone who has lived in a totalitarian state can appreciate the true character of paranoia. In 1937, when my father returned to Kiev from Luhansk, the whole country was bathed in a miasma of paranoia.
It seeped everywhere, into the most intimate crevices of people's lives: it soured the relationship between friends and colleagues, between teachers and students, between parents and children, husbands and wives. Enemies were everywhere. If you didn't like the way someone has sold you a piglet, or looked at your girlfriend, or asked for money you owned, or given you a low mark in an exam, a quick word to the NKVD would sort them out...
”
”
Marina Lewycka (A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian)
“
I say this—after six million years of evolution, is there anything else more in tune with the planet than the human body? We grow muscles to withstand fourteen pounds of air pressure per square inch at sea level. We develop senses to detect changes in wind patterns and know when a storm is approaching. We can hear threatening footsteps approaching and feel the stares of an angry ex-girlfriend as her eyes burn a hole in our back. We have millions of nerve endings in our skin to feel our environment. In short, we evolve. We become more in tune with the world, like birds that use the Earth’s magnetic field to help guide them on their long migration or mammals that can feel winter coming and prepare for hibernation. So when my body tells me there’s a spirit present, I trust it.
”
”
Zak Bagans (Dark World: Into the Shadows with the Lead Investigator of the Ghost Adventures Crew)
“
In Uprooting Racism, Paul Kivel makes a useful comparison between the rhetoric abusive men employ to justify beating up their girlfriends, wives, or children and the publicly traded justifications for widespread racism. He writes: During the first few years that I worked with men who are violent I was continually perplexed by their inability to see the effects of their actions and their ability to deny the violence they had done to their partners or children. I only slowly became aware of the complex set of tactics that men use to make violence against women invisible and to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. These tactics are listed below in the rough order that men employ them.… (1) Denial: “I didn’t hit her.” (2) Minimization: “It was only a slap.” (3) Blame: “She asked for it.” (4) Redefinition: “It was mutual combat.” (5) Unintentionality: “Things got out of hand.” (6) It’s over now: “I’ll never do it again.” (7) It’s only a few men: “Most men wouldn’t hurt a woman.” (8) Counterattack: “She controls everything.” (9) Competing victimization: “Everybody is against men.” Kivel goes on to detail the ways these nine tactics are used to excuse (or deny) institutionalized racism. Each of these tactics also has its police analogy, both as applied to individual cases and in regard to the general issue of police brutality. Here are a few examples: (1) Denial. “The professionalism and restraint … was nothing short of outstanding.” “America does not have a human-rights problem.” (2) Minimization. Injuries were “of a minor nature.” “Police use force infrequently.” (3) Blame. “This guy isn’t Mr. Innocent Citizen, either. Not by a long shot.” “They died because they were criminals.” (4) Redefinition. It was “mutual combat.” “Resisting arrest.” “The use of force is necessary to protect yourself.” (5) Unintentionality. “[O]fficers have no choice but to use deadly force against an assailant who is deliberately trying to kill them.…” (6) It’s over now. “We’re making changes.” “We will change our training; we will do everything in our power to make sure it never happens again.” (7) It’s only a few men. “A small proportion of officers are disproportionately involved in use-of-force incidents.” “Even if we determine that the officers were out of line … it is an aberration.” (8) Counterattack. “The only thing they understand is physical force and pain.” “People make complaints to get out of trouble.” (9) Competing victimization. The police are “in constant danger.” “[L]iberals are prejudiced against police, much as many white police are biased against Negroes.” The police are “the most downtrodden, oppressed, dislocated minority in America.” Another commonly invoked rationale for justifying police violence is: (10) The Hero Defense. “These guys are heroes.” “The police routinely do what the rest of us don’t: They risk their lives to keep the peace. For that selfless bravery, they deserve glory, laud and honor.” “[W]ithout the police … anarchy would be rife in this country, and the civilization now existing on this hemisphere would perish.” “[T]hey alone stand guard at the upstairs door of Hell.
”
”
Kristian Williams (Our Enemies in Blue: Police and Power in America)
“
My intention all along had been to get my wakeboarding legs back this first day. Maybe I'd do tricks when we went out the next day. I didn't want to get too cocky and bust ass in front of Sean. But as I got more comfortable and forgot to care, I tried a few standbys-a front flip, a scarecrow. There was no busting of ass. So I tried a backroll. And landed it solidly.
Now I got cocky. I did a heelside backroll with a nosegrab. This meant that in the middle of the flip, I let go of the rope handle with one hand, reached down, and grabbed the front of the board. It served no purpose in the trick except to look impressive, like, This only appears to be a difficult trick. I have all the time in the world. I will grab the board. Yawn. And I landed it. This was getting too good to be true.
My brother swung the boat around just before we reached the graffiti-covered highway bridge that spanned the lake. Cameron had spray-painted his name and his girlfriend’s name on the bridge, alongside all the other couples’ names and over the faded ones. My genius brother had tried to paint his own name but ran out of room on that section of bridge.
McGULLICUDD
Y
Sean wisely never painted his girlfriends’ names. He would have had to change them too often. For my part, I was very thankful that when most of this spray-painting action was going on last summer, I was still too short to reach over from the pile and haul myself up on the main part of the bridge. I probably had the height and the upper body strength now, and I prayed none of the boys pointed this out. Then I’d have to spray-paint LORI LOVES SEAN on the bridge. And move to Canada.
”
”
Jennifer Echols (Endless Summer (The Boys Next Door, #1-2))
“
Even if these two didn't share the same short dark hair, the same violet eyes, and the same flawless olive skin, I'd know they were related because of their most dominant feature-their habit of staring.
"I'm Chloe. This is my friend Emma, who apparently just head-butted your boyfriend Galen. We were in the middle of apologizing."
I pinch the bridge of my nose and count to ten-Mississippi, but fifty-Mississippi seems more appropriate. Fifty allows more time to fantasize about ripping one of Chloe's new waves out.
"Emma, what's wrong? Your nose isn't bleeding, is it?" She chirps, enjoying herself.
Tingles gather at my chin as Galen lifts it with the crook of his finger. "Is your nose bleeding? Let me see," he says. He tilts my head side to side, leans closer to get a good look.
And I meet my threshold for embarrassment. Tripping is bad enough. Tripping into someone is much worse. But if that someone has a body that could make sculpted statues jealous-and thinks you've broken your nose on one of his pecs-well, that's when tripping runs a distant second to humane euthanasia.
He is clearly surprised when I swat his hand and step away. His girlfriend/relative seems taken aback that I mimic his stance-crossed arms and deep frown. I doubt she has ever met her threshold for embarrassment.
"I said I was fine. No blood, no foul."
"This is my sister Rayna," he says, as if the conversation steered naturally in that direction. She smiles at me as if forced at knifepoint, the kind of smile that comes purely from manners, like the smile you give your grandmother when she gives you the rotten-cabbage-colored sweater she's been knitting. I think of that sweater now as I return her smile.
”
”
Anna Banks (Of Poseidon (The Syrena Legacy, #1))
“
Maybe it’s not a coincidence that I’ve always been interested in heroes, starting with my dad, Phil Robertson, and my mom, Miss Kay. My other heroes are my pa and my granny, who taught me how to play cards and dominoes and everything about fishing (which was a lot), and my three older brothers, who teased me, beat me up, and sometimes let me follow them around. Not much has changed in that department.
I’ve always loved movies, and when I was about seven or eight years old, I watched Rocky, Sylvester Stallone’s movie about an underdog boxer who used his fists, along with sheer will, determination, and the ability to endure pain, to make a way for himself. He fought hard but played fair and had a soft spot for his friends. I fell in love with Rocky. He was my hero, and I became obsessed.
When I decide to do something, I’m all in; so I found a pair of red shorts that looked like Rocky’s boxing trunks and a navy blue bathrobe with two white stripes on the sleeve and no belt. I took off my shirt and ran around bare-chested in my robe and shorts. Most kids I knew went through a superhero phase, but they picked DC Comics guys, like Batman or Superman. Not me. I was Rocky Balboa, the Italian Stallion, and proud of it. Mom let me run around like that for a couple of years, even when we went in to town.
Rocky had a girlfriend, Adrian, who was always there, always by his side. When he was beaten and blinded in a bad fight, he called out for her before anybody else. “Yo, Adrian!” he shouted in his Philly-Italian accent. He needed her.
Eventually, I grew up, and the red shorts and blue bathrobe didn’t fit anymore, but I always remembered Rocky’s kindness and his courage. And that every Rocky needs an Adrian.
”
”
Jep Robertson (The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God: What Honesty and Pain Taught Us About Faith, Family, and Forgiveness)
“
Dear Lucas,
I never met a boy with manners as good as yours. You ought to have a British accent. At homecoming, you wore a cravat and it suited you so well I think you could wear one all the time and get away with it.
Oh, Lucas! I wish I knew what kind of girls you liked. As far as I can tell, you haven’t dated anyone…unless you have a girlfriend at another school. You’re just so mysterious. I hardly know a thing about you. The things I know are so unsubstanial, so unsatisfying, like that you eat a chicken sandwich every day at lunch, and you’re on the golf team. I guess the one remotely real thing I know about you is you’re a good writer, which must mean you have deep reserves of emotion. Like that short story you wrote in creative writing about the poisoned well, and it was from a six-year-old boy’s perspective. It was so sensitive, so keen!
That story made me feel like I knew you at least a little bit. But I don’t know you, and I wish I did.
I think you’re very special. I think you are probably one of the most special people at our school, and I wish more people knew that about you. Or maybe I don’t, because sometimes it’s nice to be the only one who knows something.
Love, Lara Jean
”
”
Jenny Han (To All the Boys I've Loved Before (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, #1))
“
My Future Self
My future self and I become closer and closer as time goes by. I must admit that I neglected and ignored her until she punched me in the gut, grabbed me by the hair and turned my butt around to introduce herself.
Well, at least that’s what it felt like every time I left the convalescent hospital after doing skills training for a certification I needed to help me start my residential care business. I was going to be providing specialized, 24/7 residential care and supervising direct care staff for non-verbal, non-ambulatory adult men in diapers! I ran to the Red Cross and took the certified nurse assistant class so I would at least know something about the job I would soon be hiring people to do and to make sure my clients received the best care.
The training facility was a Medicaid hospital. I would drive home in tears after seeing what happens when people are not able to afford long-term medical care and the government has to provide that care. But it was seeing all the “young” patients that brought me to tears.
And I had thought that only the elderly lived like this in convalescent hospitals….
I am fortunate to have good health but this experience showed me that there is the unexpected.
So I drove home each day in tears, promising God out loud, over and over again, that I would take care of my health and take care of my finances. That is how I met my future self. She was like, don’t let this be us girlfriend and stop crying!
But, according to studies, we humans have a hard time empathizing with our future selves. Could you even imagine your 30 or 40 year old self when you were in elementary or even high school? It’s like picturing a stranger.
This difficulty explains why some people tend to favor short-term or immediate gratification over long-term planning and savings.
Take time to picture the life you want to live in 5 years, 10 years, and 40 years, and create an emotional connection to your future self. Visualize the things you enjoy doing now, and think of retirement saving and planning as a way to continue doing those things and even more.
However, research shows that people who interacted with their future selves were more willing to improve savings. Just hit me over the head, why don’t you!
I do understand that some people can’t even pay attention or aren’t even interested in putting money away for their financial future because they have so much going on and so little to work with that they feel like they can’t even listen to or have a conversation about money.
But there are things you’re doing that are not helping your financial position and could be trouble. You could be moving in the wrong direction.
The goal is to get out of debt, increase your collateral capacity, use your own money in the most efficient manner and make financial decisions that will move you forward instead of backwards.
Also make sure you are getting answers specific to your financial situation instead of blindly guessing! Contact us. We will be happy to help!
”
”
Annette Wise
“
For the bus ride, which Delaney estimated would be ninety minutes, she had prepared a mix of happy journeying music, which she activated as they pulled out of the campus gate. The first song was by Otis Redding, and the first message came via her phone. Woman-hater, it said, with a link to an unsigned and evidence-less post hinting that he had been unkind to an ex-girlfriend who he’d met shortly before the bay and the dock and the sitting. Thanks for the early-morning pick-me-up! the writer said, meaning that Delaney had ruined the day and tacitly endorsed Redding’s newly alleged misogyny. Delaney skipped to the next song, Lana Del Rey’s “High by the Beach,” and then quickly figured it was too big a risk so skipped ahead. The third song, the Muppets’ “Movin’ Right Along,” was unknown to most on the bus, and survived its three-minute length, during which a handful of passengers furiously tried to find a reason the song was complicit in evil committed or implied. Delaney skipped the next song, by Neil Diamond, thinking any Jewish singer dubious in light of the Israeli sandwich debacle, skipped songs six and seven (from Thriller), briefly considered the Ronettes’ “Be My Baby” but then remembered Phil Spector, and so finally settled on a young Ghanian rapper she’d recently discovered. His first song was hunted down quickly in a hail of rhetorical buckshot—as a teen, the rapper had zinged a borderline joke about his female trigonometry teacher—so Delaney turned off the shared music, leaving everyone, for the next eighty-one minutes, to their earbuds and the safety of their individualized solitude.
”
”
Dave Eggers (The Every)
“
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Lady (Some Short Stories (Classic Reprint))
“
Sexism, and its expressions, are multi-layered and complex. Often, it comes in gender-neutral language, decorated with gendered accents. It comes in the form of pink walls for young girls and blue for young boys. Barbie dolls and G.I. Joe’s. Skirts and dresses and Bermuda shorts. Fairy tales that shamelessly teach that women need a Prince Charming and superheroes who are almost always men. That boys don’t cry. It comes in the form of ‘protective’ mothers and fathers who don’t allow their daughters to date, while the son has many girlfriends. Or in the idea that while a woman may be doing well for herself, she must marry a man who does better than her or marry at all! And the over-glorification of motherhood that carefully cloaks the sacrifices a woman makes to raise a child and systematically alienates the man — the father. There is sexism everywhere if you stop and pay attention.
”
”
Prachi Gangwani (Dear Men: Masculinity and Modern Love in #MeToo India)
“
of course, I want you to be my girlfriend, but I'm not gonna ask you just because you're jealous or crying. I don't want to enter a relationship until I'm sure because I don't do short-term, and right now, we have a lot going on. I feel like we keep butting heads today.
”
”
Marilyn Shae (Crashing In (Baby Doll))
“
In for a penny, in for a pound. “You know, short, glasses, Indonesian, drives like a demon from the lowest bowels of hell?” “She isn’t my girlfriend.” “Oh, so she’s still up for grabs? Fair game?” “Putting out the vibe?” Jennifer added. Jim turned and walked away without a word.
”
”
Ilona Andrews (Magic Bleeds (Kate Daniels, #4))
“
Jenny- We were friends on Facebook and our friendship was short-lived, I confirmed his request… and he unfriended me? The same day- What happened? He deleted me; no, the boy has ever done that to me. I must have him as my boyfriend, he is the first one to ever say no to me. He said her I don't remember sending you a request! Sure… to be truthful I am kind of disappointed in him, I was thinking finally we can at least be friends.
Why doesn’t he want me?
Why does he like her more?
(Facebook chat)
He typed - No we can't be friends.
I, asked- why not?
He typed - Because I don't want to.
I typed - That’s mean… What did I ever do to you?
He typed - I tried to be nice to you but you took it too far, and I feel a little uncomfortable around you. I'm not trying to be mean.
I- was- thinking uncomfortable? Uncomfortable because you don’t like me? Or uncomfortable because you can control yourself around me because you like me that much?
I typed - I am sorry I never meant to do anything to you.
Yes, I like you, and I know you’re with Karly, I was hoping for someday...
Maybe we could go to a movie or something like that? I’m not a bad person… you no!
You have to give people a chance. And if you’re judging me, I have changed a lot.
Is asking you out so wrong? Why, do I make you so uncomfortable?
His typed- I am very happy with Karly, and I see her in my future, so I wish you could respect that. I don't understand why… you think it’s okay for me to give you a chance when I have a girlfriend. I'm not like that, and I think that's very wrong.
I typed - My god you are not married to her. You need to stop listening to your friends so much... What are you so scared of?
He typed- I was scared to fall in love with someone like you!
I said- It will happen! You will fall for me!
~*~
Jenny’s thoughts walking to class- I’m going to get what I want… And none of you b*tches know!
I’ll get you!
I’ll have to sit in class like this.
I hope you don’t mind blood Mr. D
I have to change this tampon out…
The gym is my only ‘A,’ I wish they were all that easy for me.
Karly small good, I wonder what she is wearing?
Does anyone have a tampon?
Do people still use pads?
These… underwear cost me $30!
I WISH I WAS A GUY!
(So. me being on my period feels like you getting- kicked in the balls for a week, non-stop, like that love a sick feeling or you have to squeeze something out of yah, consent churning inside.)
”
”
Marcel Ray Duriez
“
God is a wild thought down by the water. God is the very first breeze of the night & the very last. God is decency & shortness of breath. God is blah blah blah. God is my girlfriend.
”
”
Eleanor Eli Moss (The Holy Bible: Volume 1)
“
FIVE-THIRTY TUESDAY MORNING FBI Special Agent Brogan was alone in the third-floor meeting room, using one of the newly installed phone lines for an early call to his girlfriend. Five-thirty in the morning is not the best time to deliver an apology for a broken date from the night before, but Brogan had been very busy, and he anticipated being busier still. So he made the call. He woke her and told her he had been tied up, and probably would be for the rest of the week. She was sleepy and annoyed, and made him repeat it all twice. Then she chose to interpret the message as a cowardly prelude to some kind of a brush-off. Brogan got annoyed in turn. He told her the Bureau had to come first. Surely she understood that? It was not the best point to be making to a sleepy annoyed woman at five-thirty in the morning. They had a short row and Brogan hung up, depressed.
”
”
Lee Child (Die Trying (Jack Reacher, #2))
“
There weren’t many women who were so beautiful that they made it hard to breathe. A better man would have bowed out of this trip when he’d learned his ex-girlfriend was coming along. A better man would have let her enjoy the weekend with her friends. Except I wasn’t a better man. And it had been too damn long. “What’s it been? Five years?” I asked. Her nostrils flared. “Six.” “Six. Huh.” I took a sip of my beer. “If you’ve been counting, does that mean you’ve missed me?
”
”
Devney Perry (The Edens - A Legacy Short Story (The Edens, #4.5))
“
I’m sick of hearing I’m yours and that you’d do anything for me. That I’m the only woman you’ve ever wanted. But nothing permanent. Nothing real.” My voice is rising, but I don’t care. “I don’t understand why you—”
“I’m obsessed with you, okay?” He shouts the words. His eyes are wild. “Against my better judgment. I tried to stop. But it didn’t work.”
“What do you mean you tried to stop?”
“Do you think I like this? Do you think I enjoy how deep you are under my skin?” He shoves a hand through his hair. “I have been obsessed with you since I was twenty. Twenty. That’s ten years of being distracted every time I saw you on social media. Ten years of waiting for you to notice me. Ten years of hating myself for being a creep when you counted on me to be your family.”
“Ten years?” I whisper.
He nods shortly. He hates this. His eyes are shadowed, and his face is tense. “Do you want to know why I stopped having sex?” His voice is low and rough.
I nod, even though I sense something terrible is about to happen. “Because the first time I slept with my then-girlfriend, I pictured you.” He laughs, a small, unhappy laugh. “It’s fucked-up. But the most fucked-up part? Picturing you made it better.” His voice is rising. “Do you know why my reputation is shit? Why I’m such an asshole? Why I never want to be in love? Because when we had that fight, everything changed for me. When you stopped talking to me, the world went dark. I’ve never felt weaker in my life, and I never want to feel that way again.
”
”
Sophia Travers (One Billion Reasons (Kings Lane Billionaires, #1))
“
The new girlfriend has my sympathies because your pitching technique lacked flair and you often fell short, embarrassing yourself.
”
”
Ren Alexander (Unhinged (Unraveled Renegade #2))
“
The more familiar we are with the particular conditions that connect or disconnect us from presence, the easier it becomes to spot them in our lives. For example, I tend to lose presence when I’m rushing. This means that I’m more apt to make physical or relational blunders: I might drop something in the kitchen, forget my lunch, or even say something sharp. I learned a painful lesson about this a few years ago. I was at a farewell party for my girlfriend, Evan, who had just finished a year of service at a meditation retreat center. We had plans to drive north up the coast of California after the party, and I’d made an appointment to install a car radio for the trip. In that classic, romantic way, I wanted everything to be perfect. As our departure time approached, I grew more and more anxious about missing the appointment. With no sign of a formal send-off, I finally spoke up and said that we needed to leave soon. To avoid any awkwardness, Evan went along with my request, but she was in tears by the time we arrived at the auto shop. She was incensed at me for cutting short a meaningful experience and at herself for not speaking up. In my fixation to create “the perfect trip,” I’d missed the fact that she was already enjoying herself. I reflected a lot on that incident, how losing presence had unintended, painful consequences.
”
”
Oren Jay Sofer (Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication)
“
She’s as un-Hollywood as it gets,” Jack said then, his voice low and menacing. “Have you seen my other girlfriends? Have you seen Kennedy Monroe? She’s nothing like any of them. She’s short. Her teeth are crooked. She barely wears any makeup. She doesn’t self-tan, wear extensions, or dye her hair. She’s a totally plain, unremarkable person. She’s the epitome of ordinary.” Wow. Okay. “But she’s mine,” Jack said then. “And she’s staying.
”
”
Katherine Center (The Bodyguard)
“
Does anything about that girl seem like Hollywood to you?”
For a second, I thought Jack was going to defend me.
“She’s as un-Hollywood as it gets. Have you seen my other girlfriends? Have you seen Kennedy Monroe? She’s nothing like any of them. She’s short. Her teeth are crooked. She barely wears any makeup. She doesn’t self-tan, wear extensions, or dye her hair. She’s totally plain, unremarkable person. She’s the epitome of ordinary.”
Wow. Okay.
“But she’s mine,” Jack said then. “And she’s staying.”
I was still coping with “epitome of ordinary.
”
”
Katherine Center (The Bodyguard)
“
All acts of sex were forms of degradation. Some random recollections: East 11th Street, on the bed with Murray Groman: “Swallow this mother ’til you choke.” East 11th Street, in the bed with Gary Becker: “The trouble with you is, you’re such a shallow person.” East 11th Street, up against the wall with Peter Baumann: “The only thing that turns me on about you is pretending you’re a whore.” Second Avenue, the kitchen, Michael Wainwright: “Quite frankly, I deserve a better-looking, better-educated girlfriend.” What do you do with the Serious Young Woman (short hair, flat shoes, body slightly hunched, head drifting back and forth between the books she’s read)? You slap her, fuck her up the ass and treat her like a boy. The Serious Young Woman looked everywhere for sex but when she got it it became an exercise in disintegration. What was the motivation of these men? Was it hatred she evoked? Was it some kind of challenge, trying to make the Serious Young Woman femme?
”
”
Chris Kraus (I Love Dick)
“
I suppose my unwavering devotion and love for my girlfriends motivated me to delve deeper into the realm of psychopathy and uncover the truth of what I experienced and managed to survive. And remember. Speelwalking. I can see myself wandering around on Barcelona streets, aware of danger but still unaware how large their web was and is. Infinite. Growing. Like Space.
I feel compelled to share it with others.
Timothy. Cannot.
Timothy is dead. Age 16. In the Cagmayer house on the Prairie.
What can I do? I tried my best and even more than I could. Devoted. Hoping in her return home.
It seems that the three people I met in three consecutive years were all psychopaths from broken families, from psychopath parents. Perhaps nazi grandparents. Most likely. Fascist. Criminals. Juicy or not.
This is the 21 ST century. “United colors.” “Of Benetton.”
All the colors and all the “fasc-ion.”
The mafia of short and evil people wasn’t only international as I thought.
It is global. I only sensed it yet before.
I survived a pandemic of Evil Eyes in Spain, in Europe. So far. On this planet.
”
”
Tomas Adam Nyapi (BARCELONA MARIJUANA MAFIA)
“
The Golem, The Monster was in love with herself; the Goy was in love with her too. She was in love with Club Golan. A perfect storm was approaching and I could almost feel it.
I didn't know what was wrong with my beautiful girlfriend as her face gradually began to look like a monster's and she started treating me like garbage. What was controlling her mind? Who was behind her, making her get so sick again so quickly after meeting some new people at the beach bar?
Why did Sabrina say that I would die lonely and sad, and why was Martina's perception of me so wrong and unreal? How was their plan on track, I didn't understand while I was running after Martina and I couldn't understand where our happiness had slipped out of our hands again? I was desperately trying to figure out what had happened to my life, my career, and what had happened to my pretty girlfriend, what had happened to my baby?
It was almost like my girlfriend's perceptions were all wrong somehow. She had seen me as a useless homeless bum and she had seen the only value or service in Europe and Barcelona which could make a living or money as, 'short shorts and loose legs'. I felt hopeless and I didn't understand what the spell was.
How was my 'Stupid Bunny' a Frankenstein? I could feel it on my skin, and I could see it in Martina's eyes, that the criminals' plans were in play and had been working since the moment Adam arrived in Spain, or maybe even before that somehow. Before I even met Martina. Before we even broke all up with Sabrina. Before the Red Moon, the last date and before the provocation the following night.
I felt like 10-20 criminals were trying to bully me and trying to woo Martina and outsmart me with her, but I was so worried for her and was so busy trying to save her every day with her on my mind, as if I too was under spells, under possession and couldn't do anything about it to help her or break the illusions keeping her possessed, even when supposedly she was, we were, rid of the bad people. I felt like I was in a screenplay in the set up stages of a drama. I felt like someone had sat down with a piece of paper and a pen, and was drawing plans against my life. I felt like someone had written a screenplay on how to play this out, how to take the club from me and Martina. Someone must have written a list of characters. Casting.
I never called Sabrina a bitch.
Adam and Martina both called her “bitch.” Martina said “The Bitch” and Adam said “that Crazy Bitch.”
’The Goy’
’The Bitch’
’The Gipsy’
’The Giants’
’The Golem’
’The Lawyer’
’The Big Boss’
’My Girlfriend’
’The False Flag’
’The Big Brother’
’The Stupid Bunny’
’The Big Boss Daddy’
’The Italian Connection’, etc.
I was unable to break any illusion, the secret, the code; I was dumbstruck in love with “my girlfriend” (who I thought was my “stupid bunny”), being the ‘false flag’, and maybe it was actually “the bitch” portrayed by Sabrina who was my true love perhaps, putting me to the tests, with Adam and the rest, using Martina and her brother, playing with strings, with her long pretty fingernails, teaching me a lesson for cheating when I thought she was cheating too and making me unhappy when I thought she was unhappy with me.
As if I knew, Sabrina had been behind my new girlfriend,
Martina playing roles; I had seen all the signs and jokes.
I just couldn't comprehend it having a cover over my eyes.
I was unsure what should I do what would be real wise?
I didn't think Sabrina would be capable of hurting me at all.
Why did Martina keep saying, Tomas you are so nice and tall?
”
”
Tomas Adam Nyapi
“
Once both male canines had collected enough smell samples from Sabrina's crotch/my dinner, we stopped laughing and managed to get inside the apartment.
It was a two-room apartment on the ground floor and it was quite dark inside, with the curtains closed and only one or two lamps turned on in the entire place. Two big cats, two big dogs and two Jewish guys were sitting in the living room. There were a variety of products scattered all over the place. The room was a mess, not necessarily caused by the pets. They told us that they also have two more large cats at home in Belgium.
Mario introduced us to Tom Titelany: the short, dark-haired guy who had opened the door and was the owner of the Dogue de Bordeaux.
The other guy, sitting in the dark, a bit taller and skinnier with brighter skin,
and brighter hair, and much brighter eyes, called Adam Maraudin,
was the owner of the two large cats and the Bull Terrier jumping around.
There was a huge serpent tattoo winding around Adam's shoulder,
and though his tank top only revealed part of the design,
it was clear that this was not an ordinary tattoo,
it seemed to me to be of Far-Eastern origin or Thai.
They then introduced us to Adam's girlfriend, the British Rachel Conarts, whom Adam called Shifra for some reason. She had ginger hair and was as tall as Adam, taller than Tom.
There was a big bag of scuba diving kit in the living room and, when I asked them about it, they told me that Shifra and Adam had first met in Thailand, where they had been scuba diving.
One of them was called Tom, the same as my name, and the other one was called Adam, coincidentally the same as my middle name. Coincidence? I don’t know.
”
”
Tomas Adam Nyapi (BARCELONA MARIJUANA MAFIA)
“
Alex whispers, “There’s a thin line between love and hate. Maybe you’re confusing your emotions.”
I scoot away from him. “I wouldn’t bet on it.”
“I would.”
Alex’s gaze turns toward the door to the classroom. Through the window, his friend is waving to him. They’re probably going to ditch class.
Alex grabs his books and stands.
Mrs. Peterson turns around. “Alex, sit down.”
“I got to piss.”
The teacher’s eyebrows furrow and her hand goes to her hip. “Watch your language. And the last time I checked, you don’t need your books in order to go to the restroom. Put them back on the lab table.”
Alex’s lips are tight, but he places the books back on the table.
“I told you no gang-related items in my class,” Mrs. Peterson says, staring at the bandanna he’s holding in front of him. She holds out her hand. “Hand it over.”
He glances at the door, then faces Mrs. Peterson. “What if I refuse?”
“Alex, don’t test me. Zero tolerance. You want a suspension?” She wiggles her fingers, signaling to hand the bandana over immediately or else.
Scowling, he slowly places the bandana in her hand.
Mrs. Peterson sucks in her breath when she snatches the bandanna from his fingers.
I screech, “Ohmygod!” at the sight of the big stain on his crotch.
The students, one by one, start laughing.
Colin laughs the loudest. “Don’t sweat it, Fuentes. My great-grandma has the same problem. Nothing a diaper won’t fix.”
Now that hits home because at the mention of adult diapers, I immediately think of my sister. Making fun of adults who can’t help themselves isn’t funny because Shelley is one of those people.
Alex sports a big, cocky grin and says to Colin, “Your girlfriend couldn’t keep her hands out of my pants. She was showin’ me a whole new definition of hand warmers, compa.”
This time he’s gone too far. I stand up, my stool scraping the floor.
“You wish,” I say.
Alex is about to say something to me when Mrs. Peterson yells, “Alex!” She clears her throat. “Go to the nurse and…fix yourself. Take your books, because afterward you’ll be seeing Dr. Aguirre. I’ll meet you in his office with your friends Colin and Brittany.”
Alex swipes his books off the table and exits the classroom while I ease back onto my stool. While Mrs. Peterson is trying to calm the rest of the class, I think about my short-lived success in avoiding Carmen Sanchez.
If she thinks I’m a threat to her relationship with Alex, the rumors that are sure to spread today could prove deadly.
”
”
Simone Elkeles (Perfect Chemistry (Perfect Chemistry, #1))
“
Don’t think I’m getting on that thing.”
His left eyebrow raises a fraction. “Why not? Julio’s not good enough for you?”
“Julio? You named your motorcycle Julio?”
“After my great uncle who helped my parents move here from Mexico.”
“I like Julio just fine. I just don’t want to ride on him wearing this short dress. Unless you want everyone riding behind us to see my undies.”
He rubs his chin, thinking about it. “Now that would be a sight for sore eyes.”
I cross my arms over my chest.
“I’m jokin’. We’re takin’ my cousin’s car.” We get in a black Camry parked across the street.
After driving a few minutes he pulls a cigarette from a pack lying on the dashboard. The click of the lighter makes me cringe.
“What?” he asks, the lit cigarette dangling from his lips.
He can smoke if he wants. This might be an official date, but I’m not his official girlfriend or anything. I shake my head. “Nothing.”
I hear him exhale, and the cigarette smoke burns my nostrils more than my mom’s perfume. As I lower my window all the way, I suppress a cough.
When he stops at a stoplight, he looks over at me. “If you’ve got a problem with me smokin’, tell me.”
“Okay, I’ve got a problem with you smoking,” I tell him.
“Why didn’t you just say so?” he says, then smashes it into the car’s ashtray.
“I can’t believe you actually like it,” I say when he starts driving again.
“It relaxes me.”
“Do I make you nervous?”
His gaze travels from my eyes to my breasts and down to where my dress meets my thighs. “In that dress you do.
”
”
Simone Elkeles (Perfect Chemistry (Perfect Chemistry, #1))
“
Do you like it?"
"Get it," he says without hesitation. "You look..."
"Okay? Really? It's kind of short."
"That dress is it." His gaze drops to my legs, lingering appreciatively. "And it's definitely not too short.
”
”
Monica Murphy (One Week Girlfriend (One Week Girlfriend, #1))
“
...Falon sucked hard on her straw and swallowed. “You haven’t mentioned a girlfriend or a wife.” “That’s because I don’t have one.” Haley touched the tip of her nose with her finger. “Whew, I’m feeling good. I should drink more often. My ex left me a year ago for someone else,” she admitted and giggled. “I’ve been surviving on a steady diet of hate and loathing.” Falon raised her cup. “Whatever works, right?” “Yeah, I guess,” Haley agreed with a shrug and a grin. “She always complained that I wouldn’t allow myself to be exciting. Look at me now, though, I’m stranded in another country with no money or passport, wearing shorts with sea turtles on them with no underwear. I’m drunk with someone I don’t know who could very well kill me in my sleep.” The empty cup dropped from her hand onto the floor as her head lolled back against the chair. “I’m fucking exciting now.
”
”
Robin Alexander (Fearless)
“
We’d known each other over a very short period of time. He left France in June of 1964, and I’m writing this in April 1992. I never received word from him and I don’t know if he’s dead or alive. The memory of him had remained dormant, but now it has suddenly come flooding back this early spring of 1992. Is it because I came across the picture of my girlfriend and me, on the back of which a blue stamp says Photo by Jansen. All rights reserved? Or for the simple reason that every spring looks the same? Today the air was light, the buds had burst on the trees in the gardens of the Observatoire, and the month of April 1992 merged by an effect of superimposition with the month of April 1964.
”
”
Patrick Modiano (Suspended Sentences: Three Novellas)
“
go through an exercise that helps me to get present to the reality of the situation. I tell my story to myself from the perspective of a victim, then I tell the exact same story from a place of 100 percent responsibility. Victim: “I was late to an important event because my girlfriend took too long to get ready. It’s not my fault.” Responsible: “I acknowledge my breakdown in being late. In the future I am committed to making sure that I do everything I can to ensure that I’m on time.
”
”
Timothy Ferriss (Tribe Of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World)
“
Telling myself the victim story allows me to vent briefly. Once I’m over it, then I realize that if this meeting was so important to me, I should have made it clear to my girlfriend that I couldn’t be late, and let her know that if she was running late, I’d have to leave without her.
”
”
Timothy Ferriss (Tribe Of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World)
“
Sustained, complicated grief is hard- & yes, potentially dangerous-
ANYTHING worthwhile in life holds a certain measure of risk to it- and friends who tell you grief is dangerous & caution you to short track your process- don't even get me started on that cop-out of a mentality.
"Yes" friends are the unsafe ones, YEEE-IKESSS. Avoid them like the plague.
Face your process head on and figure out your relationship status with your G-Friend- & I don't mean girlfriend.
Grief is there to help us connect the islands, as it were, of our life. Without it, when something happens, we become wounded, detached & don't heal. We walk around with a gimp thinking we are stronger for ignoring that pesky, four-letter word of a third wheel friend.
”
”
Ashley Nikole
“
We do not know if she collapsed because of overwhelming joy, extreme surprise, grave disappointment, or heavy anxiety that for the next months and years she would live with a human male, because in fact she had been honest when she told her girlfriends that she had given up on men, OR NONE OF THE ABOVE.
”
”
Kyoko Yoshida
“
I pulled my hair up in a messy ponytail upon leaving the bedroom and didn’t change from my blue and white shorts and red tank top I wore to bed the night before (Go, USA!). The shirt is tight and the shorts are short, but I'm completely comfortable. Graham is presently glaring at me like he doesn’t like me too much, so I'm thinking he is not comfortable with my outfit—or he still isn't over last night.
I don't think he's ever been so angry with me before—well, except for maybe that time I accidentally put salt in his girlfriend's coffee instead of sugar.
I pour myself a cup of coffee, showing him my back. And I wait. He doesn't make me wait long.
His voice is brittle as he snaps, “Do you have to dress like that?”
“I always dress like this. You never seemed to care before.” I give my behind an extra wiggle just to irritate him. I know I've succeeded when something thumps loudly against the tabletop.
“I think you should dress like that more often,” Blake immediately replies.
“Did anyone ask you?” is Graham's hotheaded comeback.
“In fact, I think you’re wearing too many clothes. You should remove some.”
A low growl leaves Graham.
When I finally face the Malone boys, it is to find them staring one another down from across the small table. Graham’s wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts; his brother is in jeans and a brown shirt. Their coloring is so different, as are their features, but they are both striking in appearance, and their expressions currently mimic one another’s.
“Graham, you're being an ass,” I calmly inform him.
He grabs a piece of toast off his plate and whips it at me. I duck and it lands in the sink. To say I’m surprised would be an understatement. Toast throwing now? This is what our friendship has resorted to?
“I will not live with someone who throws toast at me in anger,” I announce, setting my untouched cup of coffee on the counter.
Blake snorts, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as he turns his attention to the world beyond the sliding glass patio doors. Graham blinks at me, like he doesn’t understand what I just said or maybe he doesn’t understand what he just did. Either way, I grab my mug and stride out of the room and down the hall to my bedroom. I’ll drink my coffee in peace, away from the toast throwing.
Only peace is not to be mine.
The door immediately opens after I close it, and there is Graham, staring at me, his head cocked, his expression unnamable.
“This coffee is hot,” I warn, holding the white mug out. “You wanna be a toast thrower then I can be a coffee thrower. Just saying.”
“Put the coffee down.”
“No.”
He takes a step toward me. “Come on. Please.”
“You threw toast at me,” I point out, in case he forgot.
“I don’t know why I did that,” he mumbles, looking down. When he lifts his eyes to me, they are pleading. “Please?”
With a sigh, I comply. I am putty in his hands—or I could be. I keep the mug within reach on the dresser, should I need it as backup. As soon as I let the cup go, I’m pulled against his hard chest, his strong arms wrapping around me, his chin on the crown of my head. His scent cocoons me; a mixture of soap and Graham, and I inwardly sigh.
He should throw toast more often if this is the end result.
“I’m sorry—for last night, for the toast.
”
”
Lindy Zart (Roomies)
“
After one my breakups, my former girlfriend said we have misunderstandings. We never had. It's just that I was living for the future while she was living for the tomorrow. I couldn't wait for someone unwilling to grow up and able to keep only short term promises.
”
”
Robin Sacredfire
“
Ade, I like you. I mean, I really enjoy your company,” he said. “I don’t understand why we can’t spend some time together with our clothes on.” “Holden. Sweetie. Stop it, okay?” “Stop what?” “Stop trying to turn me into your girlfriend. You’re a nice guy. You’ve got a cute butt, and you’re fun in the sack. Doesn’t mean we’re engaged.” Holden rocked back on his heels, feeling himself frown. “Ade. For this to work for me, it needs to be more than that.” “But it isn’t,” she said, taking his hand. “It’s okay that it isn’t. You’re the XO here, and I’m a short-timer. Another run, maybe two, and I’m gone.
”
”
James S.A. Corey (Leviathan Wakes (The Expanse, #1))
“
After one my breakups, my former girlfriend said we have misunderstandings. We never did. It is just that I was living for the future while she was living for the tomorrow. I could not wait for someone unwilling to grow up while able to keep only short term promises.
”
”
Robin Sacredfire
“
Her, though! Once when I was in high school she caught me doing something or other, imitating my Spanish teacher, perhaps with a pair of tights on my head, and said, like someone at the end of her rope, “What are you, a queer?” I’d been called a sissy before, not by her but by plenty of other people. That was different, though, as the word was less potent, something used by children. When my mother called me a queer, my face turned scarlet and I exploded. “Me? What are you talking about? Why would you even say a thing like that?” Then I ran down to my room, which was spotless, everything just so, the Gustav Klimt posters on the walls, the cornflower-blue vase I’d bought with the money I earned babysitting. The veil had been lifted, and now I saw this for what it was: the lair of a blatant homosexual. That would have been as good a time as any to say, “Yes, you’re right. Get me some help!” But I was still hoping that it might be a phase, that I’d wake up the next day and be normal. In the best of times, it seemed like such a short leap. I did fantasize about having a girlfriend—never the sex part, but the rest of it I had down. I knew what she’d
”
”
David Sedaris (Calypso)
“
Hannah tells me that you helped protect her from the Hispanics during the riot.” “The Hispanics? Oh, the protest, right.” “Call it what you like, son. This place was crawling with spics, and I am grateful that you took care of my only child.” “Well,” I shrugged. “I guess that’s what boyfriends do.” Spics?? “Only good boyfriends,” Hannah said, still tightly holding my left hand. I could never predict when she’d pour on the affection and when she’d act distant. Were all girlfriends this complicated? “I helped pass that law, you understand,” Mr. Walker said. “I’m an advisor to the senator, and it’s about time someone notable, someone of prestige, took a stand on the influx of hispanics into our once great city. The Hispanics were rioting because of that law, because they’re afraid of justice.” “Oh yeah?” I said. I knew nothing about politics or laws. But I had a feeling I disagreed with him. “But I’ll discontinue this tangent before I begin to preach,” he smiled. “Hannah is giving me the warning look.” “Thank you, Daddy,” Hannah said. “The spics destroyed your car,” he said. “Hannah informed me, and then I read the report in the newspaper.” “That was a good car,” I nodded. “I will miss it.” “Well, let me see what I can do to help,” he said. “I’m a financial consultant to many of our nation’s finest automobile manufacturers, including Mission Motorcycles. You have heard of them?” “I don’t know much about any cars. Or motorcycles,” I admitted. “Well, it just so happens, they owed me a favor and agreed to give me a short-term loan on one of their new electric bikes,” he said. And it was then that I realized we were standing beside a gleaming black, silver, and orange motorcycle. I hadn’t noticed before because our school parking lot always looks like a luxury car showcase, and I’d grown numb to the opulence. A sleek black helmet hung from each handle. Mr. Walker placed his palm on the seat and said, “This bike is yours. Until you get a new car.” “Wow,” I breathed. A motorcycle!! “Isn’t it sexy?” Hannah smiled. “It looks like it’s from the future.” “It does,” I agreed. “I’m almost afraid to touch it, like it’ll fly off. But sir, there’s no way…” “Please don’t be so ungrateful as to refuse, son. That’s low class, and that’s not the Walkers. You are in elite company. Dating my daughter has advantages, as I’m sure she’s told you. You just keep performing on the football field.” “Oh…right,” I said. “I’m gratified I can help,” Mr. Walker said and shook my hand again. “I’m expecting big things from you. Don’t let me down. It’s electric, so you’ll need to charge it at night. Fill out the paperwork in the storage compartment and return them signed to Hannah tomorrow. If you wreck it, I’ll have you drowned off Long Beach. I wish I could stay, but I’m late for a meeting with the Board of Supervisors. Hannah, tell your mother I’ll be out late,” he said and got into the back seat of a black sedan that whisked him away.
”
”
Alan Janney (Infected: Die Like Supernovas (The Outlaw, #2))
“
I remember one time a guy planned out his entire crime and made a checklist to keep himself on schedule. I have to give him credit too, the list was very thorough. It stopped just short of saying, “Kill my girlfriend on this date at this time.” He even drew a helpful little diagram of her apartment. I appreciated the gesture.
”
”
Jules Cassard (Dirt Nap Rhapsody)
“
Also, he had short black sideburns with streaks of gray in them, a boxer’s build, a Ph.D. in English literature from Harvard, and no wife or girlfriend. These qualities made Douglas a font of intrigue for the all-female population of St. Agnes—both the lay faculty and the students—but in truth Douglas led a sedentary life. He loved books, he was a passionate, solitary filmgoer, and he got his hair cut every four weeks by Chiapas, whose father ran a barbershop down the block.
”
”
The New Yorker (The Big New Yorker Book of Cats)
“
I had just climbed on top of the counter when Konrad reached over me and grabbed the bowls, smirking when I glared at him. He didn’t even have to go on the balls of his feet. “Damn tall people.” I muttered under my breath. “Hey sis! Hey Bree,” Jeremy hugged her quick, and turned to do a “guy hug” with Konrad, “Konrad, what’s up man?” He stepped over to where I was still sitting on the counter and I frowned when I realized he was still taller than me even when I was up here, “Trying to reach the bowls again Harper?” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek before whispering, “Congrats sis. I’m really happy for you guys.” I hugged him tightly back, “Thanks Jer, and thanks for coming.” “I brought my girlfriend, is that okay?” “Jeremy, you have a girlfriend?!” His face lit up and he had a huge grin, “Are you even old enough for one of those yet?” I laughed when he playfully punched my arm. “I’m seventeen, not twelve.” I got all serious, “Oh yes, of course. How could I ever forget?” I looked around him, “Well where is she? I want to meet this girl who stole my brother-in-law’s heart.” “She’s with Laura and Kate, but she’s really shy, so Bree” he turned to look at her, “go easy on her, okay?” Bree put a hand to her chest, “Who me? Shy people are my specialty. Just ask Harper.” We all laughed and Jeremy eyed me curiously, “Sis, what the fuck are you doing?” “Language!” I chastised him but started giggling uncontrollably when I still couldn’t get down, “I can’t get back down. I usually can’t even jump up here. How the hell did I get up here Konrad?” “Language!” Jeremy tried to mimic my pitch as he scooped me off the counter. “God you’re so short.” “No, the rest of you are just freakishly tall.” I pushed him away from me and went to stand by Bree, since she was much closer to my height. “Aww, are they making fun of you again sweetheart?” Brandon was grinning when he rounded the corner, “I can’t believe anyone would ever make fun of your height. Because you’re average height, right?” I glared at him until he wrapped his arms around me with my favorite smile and his dimple flashing at me, “Exactly.
”
”
Molly McAdams (Taking Chances (Taking Chances, #1))
“
[About his pivot from George Washington University to New York University.] Then based solely on Shari's (a friend of a girlfriend) playful provocation, I auditioned for the theater program at NYU. ... This was an idiotic idea, all things considered. When I eventually pitched it to my parents on the phone, my mother shrieked what a mistake I was making. My dad just listened. ... {H]e said to my mother, 'Let's here him out.' I knew something other than money was behind that. Here was a man who had short-circuited his own dreams in order to provide for his family. 'You'll never be young enough to do this again,' he said.
”
”
Alec Baldwin (Nevertheless)
“
a few words on something that I believe affects both Obsessional Jealousy sufferers and ROCD sufferers alike--the fear of losing the marriage. Often, what hides behind the intrusive thoughts is a deep-seated fear of the relationship not working out. In my case, I saw my parents go through a painful and messy divorce after twenty-five years of marriage. In Hugh’s case, his self esteem had taken a heavy blow a few years before meeting me, when his girlfriend at the time left him for another guy. He began having ROCD thoughts shortly after that relationship ended. The fear of commitment that ROCD sufferers experience might stem from trauma, and the wish to avoid feeling vulnerable again. Commitment to a relationship means trust and trust means vulnerability. The fear of being vulnerable is at the heart of OCD.
”
”
Hugh and Sophia Evans (Is She the One? Living with ROCD When You’re Married: Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Why it Doesn’t Have to Wreak Havoc on Your Relationship)
“
Here's how not to plan a career: (a) split up with girlfriend; (b) junk college; (c) go to work in record shop; (d) stay in record shops for rest of life. You see those pictures of people in Pompeii and you think, how weird: one quick game of dice after your tea and you're frozen, and that's how people remember you for the next few thousand years. Suppose it was the first game of dice you've ever played? Suppose you were only doing it to keep your friend Augustus company? Suppose you'd just at that moment finished a brilliant poem or something? Wouldn't it be annoying to be commemorated as a dice player? Sometimes I look at my shop (because I haven't let the grass grow under my feet the last fourteen years! About ten years ago I borrowed the money to start my own!), and at my regular Saturday punters, and I know exactly how those inhabitants of Pompeii must feel, if they could feel anything (although the fact that they can't is kind of the point of them). I'm stuck in this pose, this shop-managing pose, forever, because of a few short weeks in 1979 when I went a bit potty for a while.
”
”
Nick Hornby (High Fidelity)
“
You have to learn how to tell when a girl's leading you on. How have you ever survived this long? Or do I perceive that you don't have a girlfriend at the minute?
”
”
Dan Salerno (20 Short Ones: 20 Tales of Hope)
“
Oh, you want to stay.” He leans in, eyebrows raised like he’s passing on a secret. “You gotta see this dancer they got for me.” “What?” The blood congeals in my veins and then rushes hot like boiling poison. “What dancer?” “You know I love short chicks, right?” A grin complements his All-American look, the blonde hair and blue eyes. “She’s all curves and muscles and kinda Asian eyes. I—” “Stop. I gotta stop you before I have to punch you in the face.” I run agitated hands through my hair. “The dancer’s mine. She’s my girlfriend.
”
”
Kennedy Ryan (My Soul to Keep (Soul, #1))
“
Part: 1 July
This one more of how where I remember these days.
Photos online, and cam videos all that are my memories- of me to others.
Part: 2 August
Compare… them then and now- naked slut girl or 1940s modesty.
I remember having the old photo album spread out on the bedroom floor.
Oh! Wow! Look at this one… do you like how she was remembered better than me?
(Photo)
Part: 3
It's- September
More of the same- I have become a cam-whore!!! Nothing more…
Part: 4
OCTOBER
…And yah- a, ah- pics that would make you blush, and hard, you boys would love to see me, now, wouldn’t you?
Part: 5
NOVEMBER
Making cummie videos is my life.
Part: 6
DECEMBER
Coming 7 hours out of the day is taking time away from other things.
Part: 7
WAKING UP
…After fraping till- I passed out all hot gross and sweaty, I did not remember falling asleep- with mom and dad- sis and the world seeing me as my door to my trashed bedroom- all jammed open- and’s- and’s- AND’S- did not care at this point. (SAY IT WITH exhausted SLURRING.)
JANUARY yet how- ga-gives- a ________.
Ef…
E- un- mm- ah- in-n…
Whatever…
I am making 50 G’s in a night… so that makes it okay.
(A photo of me lying in bed with all this money!)
Part: 8
TIME PASSES
Craziness… look at my life here… all board…
‘I am home,’ I mumbled, confused- not even more.
‘What did I do?’ I felt my face wrinkle. It was so unfair.
My behavior… here is wow…
After that first week… of doing this…
How do I look… which neither of us ever mentioned what we do?
I hadn't missed a day of school or work.
My grades were perfect.
Yet this show is all going to shit- no?
This is what I did here… showing everything that makes me a girl!
Now I am passing down- to her- yah me- is it wrong? I must live with it.
#- A cam video and all these photos of her online now are worth 1,000 words! #-0-okay then what does this one says then?
My little sis- and she is frapping harder than I do- in this- damn, she is my Minnie me! She started younger than me even- yet that is all girls, her age.
Here is one with her dressed wow seem weird to see her with something on anymore-
(Swipe- and the phone in your hand would make a click sound…)
Oh, this one-
She loves these beautiful white lace kid’s girls’ shorts- so girlie- girly- from Wal-Mart, yet she was banned from wearing them in school without anything under them, yet I look around and all other girls do it.
Yet, on Facebook- and Instagram 1, you get one persona and on Google images a whole other- just like Snapchat you have her as your girlfriend for the night yet have- yet she is your striptease only- and the other Instagram- that grammar should never- ever see- yet this is how to get popular- and stay popular.
Besides then there is the community of internet nudists- on MFC. And the profile- she now has too, a legacy to be remembered by, no? Yet, when you have no education to speak of and working for some d*ck head is just out of the question, over they think you’re not worthy of their time- were you're not making anything, and at this point in Pa she too young to work, yet is old enough to have unprotected sex… Um- and then I wonder- yet she needs the money- for school coming up because your mommy and daddy don’t have it, and all for fun, boys, and a girl's night of fun- and partying- and being crazy. Money is everything… and why girls do what they must do…
”
”
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh Hard to Let Go)
“
I’ll miss you so much,” he says, just as the warning bell goes off. He curses under his breath, and I kiss him quickly. “I have to go,” I rush out. Another short kiss. “I’ll see you on Monday.” Then I shrug out of his hold and start running up the steps, the ache in my chest causing the heat behind my eyes. It’s just four days, I keep telling myself. I can do this. With each step up, each inch I move farther from him, the stronger my emotions become. Tears well in my eyes, and I can’t fight them off. And I don’t want to. Shit. I turn quickly, thankful he’s still there watching me. And then I run back to him, faster than I’ve ever run before. I didn’t want him to see me like this, but I can’t let him go without saying goodbye properly. He pushes off his truck when I get near enough, his arms open, and I practically jump into his embrace, my arms around his neck while he wraps his around my waist. Feet off the ground, my legs circle him. “I don’t want you to go,” I mumble into his neck. It’s stupid and petty, and I’m The Worst Girlfriend Ever. “Dammit, Ava, don’t mess with my emotions like that!” I rear back, still holding on to him. “I didn’t want you to know how badly I’ll miss you,” I murmur, unable to control my pout.
”
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Jay McLean (First and Forever (Heartache Duet, #2))
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William D. Arand (Monster's Mercy (Monster's Mercy, #1))
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The word reality is also beautiful to understand. It comes from the root, res; it means thing or things. Truth is not a thing. Once interpreted, once the mind has grabbed it, defined it, demarked it, it becomes a thing. When you fall in love with a woman there is some truth – if you have fallen absolutely unaware, if you have not “done” it in any way, if you have not acted, managed, if you have not even thought about it. Suddenly you see a woman, you look into her eyes, she looks into your eyes, and something clicks. You are not the doer of it, you are simply possessed by it, you simply fall into it. It has nothing to do with you. Your ego is not involved, at least not in the very, very beginning, when love is virgin. In that moment there is truth, but there is no interpretation. That’s why love remains indefinable. Soon the mind comes in, starts managing things, takes possession of you. You start thinking about the girl as your girlfriend, you start thinking of how to get married, you start thinking about the woman as your wife. Now these are things; the girlfriend, the wife – these are things. The truth is no longer there, it has receded. Now things are becoming more important. The definable is more secure, the indefinable is insecure. You have started killing, poisoning the truth. Sooner or later there will be a wife and a husband, two things. But the beauty is gone, the joy has disappeared, the honeymoon is over. The honeymoon is over at that exact moment when truth becomes reality, when love becomes a relationship. The honeymoon is very short, unfortunately – I’m not talking about the honeymoon that you take. The honeymoon is very short. Maybe for a single moment it was there, but the purity of it, the crystal purity of it, the divinity of it, the beyondness of it – it is from eternity, it is not of time. It is not part of this mundane world, it is like a ray coming into a dark hole. It comes from the transcendental. It is absolutely appropriate to call love God, because love is truth. The closest that you come to truth in ordinary life is love.
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Osho (The Heart Sutra: Becoming a Buddha through Meditation)
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