β
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
β
β
Rebecca West
β
The world was hers for the reading.
β
β
Betty Smith (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn)
β
A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.
β
β
Gloria Steinem
β
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
β
β
George Carlin
β
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute.
β
β
Rebecca West (The Young Rebecca: Writings, 1911-1917)
β
She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride.
β
β
Gayle Forman (If I Stay (If I Stay, #1))
β
When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
β
β
Audre Lorde
β
Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the motherβs fate.
β
β
Bonnie Burstow (Radical Feminist Therapy: Working in the Context of Violence)
β
Wherever you find a great man, you will find a great mother or a great wife standing behind him -- or so they used to say. It would be interesting to know how many great women have had great fathers and husbands behind them.
β
β
Dorothy L. Sayers (Gaudy Night (Lord Peter Wimsey, #12))
β
I believe feminism is grounded in supporting the choices of women even if we wouldnβt make certain choices for ourselves.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femaleness and my femininity. And I want to be respected in all of my femaleness because I deserve to be.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?
β
β
Caitlin Moran (How to Be a Woman)
β
Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Some people ask: βWhy the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?β Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in generalβbut to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
I embrace the label of bad feminist because I am human. I am messy. Iβm not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say Iβm right. I am just tryingβtrying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
The greatest feminists have also been the greatest lovers. I'm thinking not only of Mary Wollstonecraft and her daughter Mary Shelley, but of Anais Nin, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and of course Sappho. You cannot divide creative juices from human juices. And as long as juicy women are equated with bad women, we will err on the side of being bad.
β
β
Erica Jong
β
I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
My own definition is a feminist is a man or a woman who says, yes, thereβs a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it, we must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not βif only.β Not βas long as.β I matter equally. Full stop.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we donβt teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Maybe the princess could save herself."
"That sounds like a pretty good story too.
β
β
Marissa Meyer (Fairest (The Lunar Chronicles, #3.5))
β
When feminism falls short of our expectations, we decide the problem is with feminism rather than with the flawed people who act in the name of the movement.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didnβt have the weight of gender expectations.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in womenβs history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.
β
β
Naomi Wolf (The Beauty Myth)
β
Itβs hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, youβre going to float the fuck away.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
But the true feminist deals out of a lesbian consciousness whether or not she ever sleeps with women.
β
β
Audre Lorde
β
We are becoming the men we wanted to marry
β
β
Gloria Steinem
β
You can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, βAnd are the men doing this, as well?β If they arenβt, chances are youβre dealing with what we strident feminists refer to as βsome total fucking bullshitβ.
β
β
Caitlin Moran (How to Be a Woman)
β
Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.
β
β
Caitlin Moran (How to Be a Woman)
β
The process begins with the individual womanβs acceptance that American women, without exception, are socialized to be racist, classist and sexist, in varying degrees, and that labeling ourselves feminists does not change the fact that we must consciously work to rid ourselves of the legacy of negative socialization.
β
β
bell hooks (Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism)
β
As all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media.
β
β
bell hooks
β
To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man's superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?"
[To the Women of India (Young India, Oct. 4, 1930)]
β
β
Mahatma Gandhi
β
A woman at a certain age who is unmarried, our society teaches her to see it as a deep personal failure. And a man, after a certain age isnβt married, we just think he hasnβt come around to making his pick.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
There will be no mass-based feminist movement as long as feminist ideas are understood only by a well-educated few.
β
β
bell hooks (Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center)
β
Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Women have two choices: Either she's a feminist or a masochist.
β
β
Gloria Steinem
β
The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
I'm a pessimist if I'm not careful, a feminist, a Black,...an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, and drive.
β
β
Octavia E. Butler
β
I was reading everything under the sun from music history to feminist literature to Shakespeare, which is why I'm not a complete idiot at this time.
β
β
Emilie Autumn
β
A woman is human.
She is not better, wiser, stronger, more intelligent, more creative, or more responsible than a man.
Likewise, she is never less.
Equality is a given.
A woman is human.
β
β
Vera Nazarian (The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration)
β
...One of the reasons so many women say "I'm not a feminist but..." (and then put forward a feminist position), is that in addition to being stereotyped as man-hating Amazons, feminists have also been cast as antifamily and antimotherhood.
β
β
Susan J. Douglas
β
When women respond negatively to misogynistic or rape humor, they are "sensitive" and branded as "feminist," a word that has, as of late, become a catchall term for "woman who does not tolerate bullshit.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
But, of course, you might be asking yourself, 'Am I a feminist? I might not be. I don't know! I still don't know what it is! I'm too knackered and confused to work it out. That curtain pole really still isn't up! I don't have time to work out if I am a women's libber! There seems to be a lot to it. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?'
I understand.
So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants.
a) Do you have a vagina? and
b) Do you want to be in charge of it?
If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist.
β
β
Caitlin Moran (How to Be a Woman)
β
Someday every woman will have orgasms- like every family has color TV- and we can all get on with the business of life.
β
β
Erica Jong (How to Save Your Own Life)
β
I often make the mistake of thinking that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Teach her that the idea of 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense. Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl.
'Because you are a girl' is never reason for anything.
Ever.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
Books are often far more than just books.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
It's hard not to feel humorless, as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you're not imagining things. It's hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you're going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening; it's that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We donβt teach boys to care about being likable. We spend too much time telling girls that they cannot be angry or aggressive or tough, which is bad enough, but then we turn around and either praise or excuse men for the same reasons. All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
I believe women not just in the United States but throughout the world deserve equality and freedom but know I am in no position to tell women of other cultures what that equality and freedom should look like.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
Was I kind to others? It was hard to nail down an answer. I worried that if I did turn out to have a personality, it would be one of the unkind ones. Did I only worry about this question because as a woman I felt required to put the needs of others before my own? Was βkindnessβ just another term for submission in the face of conflict? These were the kind of things I wrote about in my diary as a teenager: as a feminist I have the right not to love anyone.
β
β
Sally Rooney (Conversations with Friends)
β
I love how you still think if you tell me to do something, I'll just check my brain at the door and do it.
β
β
C.J. Redwine (Defiance (Defiance, #1))
β
I am confident, I am capable, and I will not wait to be rescued by a woodsman or a hunter.
β
β
Jackson Pearce (Sisters Red (Fairytale Retellings, #1))
β
If she likes makeup, let her wear it. If she likes fashion, let her dress up. But if she doesnβt like either, let her be. Donβt think that raising her feminist means forcing her to reject femininity. Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
As a Christian and a feminist, the most important message I can carry and fight for is the sacredness of each human life, and reproductive rights for all women are a crucial part of that. It is a moral necessity that we not be forced to bring children into the world for whom we cannot be responsible and adoring and present. We must not inflict life on children who will be resented; we must not inflict unwanted children on society.
β
β
Anne Lamott
β
Great minds may have cold hearts. Form but no color. It is an incompleteness. And so they are afraid of any woman who both thinks and feels deeply.
β
β
Sena Jeter Naslund (Ahab's Wife, or The Star-Gazer)
β
If we do something over and over, it becomes normal. If we see the same thing over and over, it becomes normal.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive. This myth is like heels and purses--pretty but designed to SLOW women down.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always movingβ¦ We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitaminsβ¦ We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathersβ¦ We are the daughters of the feminists who said, βYou can be anything,β and we heard, βYou have to be everything.
β
β
Courtney Martin
β
People will selectively use βtraditionβ to justify anything.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
Visionary feminism is a wise and loving politics. It is rooted in the love of male and female being, refusing to privilege one over the other. The soul of feminist politics is the commitment to ending patriarchal domination of women and men, girls and boys. Love cannot exist in any relationship that is based on domination and coercion. Males cannot love themselves in patriarchal culture if their very self-definition relies on submission to patriarchal rules. When men embrace feminist thinking and practice, which emphasizes the value of mutual growth and self-actualization in all relationships, their emotional well-being will be enhanced. A genuine feminist politics always brings us from bondage to freedom, from lovelessness to loving.
β
β
bell hooks
β
Because when there is true equality, resentment does not exist.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
... in practice the standard for what constitutes rape is set not at the level of women's experience of violation but just above the level of coercion acceptable to men.
β
β
Judith Lewis Herman
β
We teach girls shame. βClose your legs. Cover yourself.β We make them feel as though being born female theyβre already guilty of something. And so, girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up β and this is the worst thing we do to girls β they grow up to be women who have turned pretense into an art form.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
It is obvious that many women have appropriated feminism to serve their own ends, especially those white women who have been at the forefront of the movement; but rather than resigning myself to this appropriation I choose to re-appropriate the term βfeminism,β to focus on the fact that to be βfeministβ in any authentic sense of the term is to want for all people, female and male, liberation from sexist role patterns, domination, and oppression.
β
β
bell hooks (Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism)
β
It is futile and knackering to try and make all your tiny choices representative of your moral compass then beat yourself up when this plan inevitably fails. Feminists can get waxed. Priests can swear. Vegetarians can wear leather shoes. Do as much good as you can. The weighty representation of the world cannot rest on every decision you make.
β
β
Dolly Alderton (Everything I Know About Love)
β
A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves. And this is how to start: We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
..."Fun?" you ask. "Weren't feminists these grim-faced, humorless, antifamily, karate-chopping ninjas who were bitter because they couldn't get a man?" Well, in fact the problem was that all too many of them HAD gotten a man, married him, had his kids, and then discovered that, as mothers, they were never supposed to have their own money, their own identity, their own aspirations, time to pee, or a brain. And yes, some women indeed became bad-tempered as a result. After all, no anger, no social change.
β
β
Susan J. Douglas
β
Teach her to question language. Language is the repository of our prejudices, our beliefs, our assumptions.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
The Vatican won't prosecute pedophile priests but I decide I'm not ready for motherhood and it's condemnation for me? These are the same people that won't support national condom distribution that PREVENTS teenage pregnancy.
β
β
Sonya Renee Taylor
β
Some women being empowered does not prove the patriarchy is dead. It proves that some of us are lucky.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
I am trying to unlearn many lessons of gender I internalized while growing up. But I sometimes still feel vulnerable in the face of gender expectations.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
To have privilege in one or more areas does not mean you are wholly privileged. Surrendering to the acceptance of privilege is difficult, but it is really all that is expected. What I remind myself, regularly, is this: the acknowledgment of my privilege is not a denial of the ways I have been and am marginalized, the ways I have suffered.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
Because you are a girlβ is never a reason for anything. Ever.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
If people cannot be flawed in fiction there's no place left for us to be human.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice. I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change. But I am also hopeful, because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to remake themselves for the better.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
But as the years went on, I realised that what I really want to be, all told, is a human. Just a productive, honest, courteously treated human.
β
β
Caitlin Moran (How to Be a Woman)
β
Women who focus on style over substance usually find themselves in a big fucking hole, with other men who want to fuck the hole. Oh so smooth, and none sophistacted. Because, you know, how sophisticated can hole-fucking really be
β
β
Emilie Autumn
β
Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)
β
A Nigerian acquaintance once asked me if I was worried that men would be intimidated by me. I was not worried at allβit had not even occurred to me to be worried, because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
But by far the worst thing we do to malesβby making them feel they have to be hardβis that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
Somewhere along the line we started misinterpreting the First Amendment and this idea of the freedom of speech the amendment grants us. We are free to speak as we choose without fear of prosecution or persecution, but we are not free to speak as we choose without consequence.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
I am a strong and powerful woman.
I am proud to be a woman and I celebrate the qualities that I have as a woman.
I am not defined by other peopleβs opinion of who I should be or what I should do as a woman. I determine that, not anyone else.
I am not passed up for a position, title, or promotion because I am a woman.
I fully deserve all the good things that comes my way.
Irrespective of what anyone might think, being a woman places no boundaries or limits on my abilities.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I celebrate my womanhood and I am beautiful both inside and out.
β
β
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
β
Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to happen, was because of certain people in our country. People like, and I'm quoting, 'the pagans,' which is a motorcycle group. Feminists; he brought up feminists. [...] And I couldn't believe it, he said that God had actually talked to him and said, these were the people. That was the reason. It was those people, and that was the reason God allowed this to happen. And I thought, 'That's odd.' Because God had called me twelve hours before, and He said the reason He was upset was because of people like Jerry Falwell.
β
β
Lewis Black
β
I am a strong and powerful woman.
I am proud to be a woman and I celebrate the qualities that I have as a woman.
I am not defined by other peopleβs opinion of who I should be or what I should do as a woman. I determine that, not anyone else.
I am not passed up for a position, title, or promotion because I am a woman.
I fully deserve all the good things that comes my way.
Irrespective of what anyone might think, being a woman places no boundaries or limits on my abilities.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
I celebrate my womanhood and I am beautiful both inside and out.
β
β
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
β
One of the biggest issues with mainstream feminist writing has been the way the idea of what constitutes a feminist issue is framed. We rarely talk about basic needs as a feminist issue. Food insecurity and access to quality education, safe neighborhoods, a living wage, and medical care are all feminist issues. Instead of a framework that focuses on helping women get basic needs met, all too often the focus is not on survival but on increasing privilege. For a movement that is meant to represent all women, it often centers on those who already have most of their needs met.
β
β
Mikki Kendall (Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot)
β
Very early on in writing the series, I remember a female journalist saying to me that Mrs Weasley, 'Well, you know, sheβs just a mother.' And I was absolutely incensed by that comment. Now, I consider myself to be a feminist, and Iβd always wanted to show that just because a woman has made a choice, a free choice to say, 'Well, Iβm going to raise my family and thatβs going to be my choice. I may go back to a career, I may have a career part time, but thatβs my choice.' Doesnβt mean that thatβs all she can do. And as we proved there in that little battle, Molly Weasley comes out and proves herself the equal of any warrior on that battlefield.
β
β
J.K. Rowling
β
And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him.
β
β
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminists)
β
You don't necessarily have to do anything once you acknowledge your privilege. You don't have to apologize for it. You need to understand the extent of your privilege, the consequences of your privilege, and remain aware that people who are different from you move through and experience the world in ways you might never know anything about.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
β
We need to stop playing Privilege or Oppression Olympics because weβll never get anywhere until we find more effective ways of talking through difference. We should be able to say, βThis is my truth,β and have that truth stand without a hundred clamoring voices shouting, giving the impression that multiple truths cannot coexist.
β
β
Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist: Essays)
β
In a culture which holds the two-parent patriarchal family in higher esteem than any other arrangement, all children feel emotionally insecure when their family does not measure up to the standard. A utopian vision of the patriarchal family remains intact despite all the evidence which proves that the well-being of children is no more secure in the dysfunctional male-headed household than in the dysfunctional female-headed household. Children need to be raised in loving environments. Whenever domination is present love is lacking. Loving parents, be they single or coupled, gay or straight, headed by females or males, are more likely to raise healthy, happy children with sound self-esteem. In future feminist movement we need to work harder to show parents the ways ending sexism positively changes family life. Feminist movement is pro-family. Ending patriarchal domination of children, by men or women, is the only way to make the family a place where children can be safe, where they can be free, where they can know love
β
β
bell hooks (Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics)
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All too often, when we see injustices, both great and small, we think, That's terrible, but we do nothing. We say nothing. We let other people fight their own battles. We remain silent because silence is easier. Qui tacet consentire videtur is Latin for 'Silence gives consent.' When we say nothing, when we do nothing, we are consenting to these trespasses against us.
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Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
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Your body is yours to protect and to enjoy.β She raises both eyebrows at me meaningfully. βWhoever you should choose to partake in that enjoyment, that is your choice, and choose wisely. Every man that ever got to touch me was afforded an honor. A privilege.β Stormy waves her hand over me. βAll this? Itβs a privilege to worship at this temple, do you understand my meaning? Not just any young fool can approach the throne. Remember my words, Lara Jean. You decide who, how far, and how often, if ever.β
βI had no idea you were such a feminist,β I say.
βFeminist?β Stormy makes a disgusted sound in her throat. βIβm no feminist. Really, Lara Jean!β
βStormy, donβt get worked up about it. All it means is that you believe men and women are equal, and should have equal rights.β
βI donβt think any man is my equal. Women are far superior, and donβt you forget it. Donβt forget any of the things I just told you.
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Jenny Han (P.S. I Still Love You (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, #2))
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To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire⦠those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex.
Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving.
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Marilyn Frye (The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory)
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I learned a long time ago that life introduces young people to situations they are in no way prepared for, even good girls, lucky girls who want for nothing. Sometimes, when you least expect it, you become the girl in the woods. You lose your name because another one is forced on you. You think you are alone until you find books about girls like you. Salvation is certainly among the reasons I read. Reading and writing have always pulled me out of the darkest experiences in my life. Stories have given me a place in which to lose myself. They have allowed me to remember. They have allowed me to forget. They have allowed me to imagine different endings and better possible worlds.
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Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist)
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If this is the price to be paid for an idea, then let us pay. There is no need of being troubled about it, afraid, or ashamed. This is the time to boldly say, βYes, I believe in the displacement of this system of injustice by a just one; I believe in the end of starvation, exposure, and the crimes caused by them; I believe in the human soul regnant over all laws which man has made or will make; I believe there is no peace now, and there will never be peace, so long as one rules over another; I believe in the total disintegration and dissolution of the principle and practice of authority; I am an Anarchist, and if for this you condemn me, I stand ready to receive your condemnation.
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Voltairine de Cleyre (Exquisite Rebel: The Essays of Voltairine de Cleyre β Anarchist, Feminist, Genius)
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Teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary. Make difference normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference. And the reason for this is not to be fair or to be nice but merely to be human and practical. Because difference is the reality of our world. And by teaching her about difference, you are equipping her to survive in a diverse world.
She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect. Teach her that we do not know β we cannot know β everything about life. Both religion and science have spaces for the things we do not know, and it is enough to make peace with that.
Teach her never to universalise her own standards or experiences. Teach her that her standards are for her alone, and not for other people.
This is the only necessary form of humility: the realisation that difference is normal.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions)