Even On Your Darkest Days Quotes

Shazi, I prefer the color blue to any other. The scent of lilacs in your hair is a source of constant torment. I despise figs. Lastly, I will never forget, all the days of my life, the memories of last night— For nothing, not the sun, not the rain, not even the brightest star in the darkest sky, could begin to compare to the wonder of you. Khalid.

If every life is a river, then it's little wonder that we do not even notice the changes that occur until we are far out in the darkest sea. One day you look around and nothing is familiar, not even your own face. My name once meant daughter, grandaughter, friend, sister, beloved. Now those words mean only what their letters spell out; Star in the night sky. Truth in the darkness. I have crossed over to a place where I never thought I'd be. I am someone I would have never imagined. A secret. A dream. I am this, body and soul. Burn me. Drown me. Tell me lies. I will still be who I am.

sometimes courage isn’t climbing Mount Everest or changing the world. Sometimes your mountain to climb is made up of weekdays and months, made up of pushing yourself forward even when you want to nestle into the past. Sometimes changing the world means changing your world as gradually as you need to, as gently as you heal, because sometimes courage isn’t made up of war and bloodshed; sometimes courage isn’t made of combat. Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing—that there is hope.

Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing—that there is hope.

Liam cleared his throat again and turned to fully face me. “So, it’s the summer and you’re in Salem, suffering through another boring, hot July, and working part-time at an ice cream parlor. Naturally, you’re completely oblivious to the fact that all of the boys from your high school who visit daily are more interested in you than the thirty-one flavors. You’re focused on school and all your dozens of clubs, because you want to go to a good college and save the world. And just when you think you’re going to die if you have to take another practice SAT, your dad asks if you want to go visit your grandmother in Virginia Beach.” “Yeah?” I leaned my forehead against his chest. “What about you?” “Me?” Liam said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m in Wilmington, suffering through another boring, hot summer, working one last time in Harry’s repair shop before going off to some fancy university—where, I might add, my roommate will be a stuck-up-know-it-all-with-a-heart-of-gold named Charles Carrington Meriwether IV—but he’s not part of this story, not yet.” His fingers curled around my hip, and I could feel him trembling, even as his voice was steady. “To celebrate, Mom decides to take us up to Virginia Beach for a week. We’re only there for a day when I start catching glimpses of this girl with dark hair walking around town, her nose stuck in a book, earbuds in and blasting music. But no matter how hard I try, I never get to talk to her. “Then, as our friend Fate would have it, on our very last day at the beach I spot her. You. I’m in the middle of playing a volleyball game with Harry, but it feels like everyone else disappears. You’re walking toward me, big sunglasses on, wearing this light green dress, and I somehow know that it matches your eyes. And then, because, let’s face it, I’m basically an Olympic god when it comes to sports, I manage to volley the ball right into your face.” “Ouch,” I said with a light laugh. “Sounds painful.” “Well, you can probably guess how I’d react to that situation. I offer to carry you to the lifeguard station, but you look like you want to murder me at just the suggestion. Eventually, thanks to my sparkling charm and wit—and because I’m so pathetic you take pity on me—you let me buy you ice cream. And then you start telling me how you work in an ice cream shop in Salem, and how frustrated you feel that you still have two years before college. And somehow, somehow, I get your e-mail or screen name or maybe, if I’m really lucky, your phone number. Then we talk. I go to college and you go back to Salem, but we talk all the time, about everything, and sometimes we do that stupid thing where we run out of things to say and just stop talking and listen to one another breathing until one of us falls asleep—” “—and Chubs makes fun of you for it,” I added. “Oh, ruthlessly,” he agreed. “And your dad hates me because he thinks I’m corrupting his beautiful, sweet daughter, but still lets me visit from time to time. That’s when you tell me about tutoring a girl named Suzume, who lives a few cities away—” “—but who’s the coolest little girl on the planet,” I manage to squeeze out.

The dark is generous. Its first gift is concealment: our true faces lie in the dark beneath our skins, our true hearts remain shadowed deeper still. But the greatest concealment lies not in protecting our secret truths, but in hiding from the truths of others. The dark protects us from what we dare not know. Its second gift is comforting illusion: the ease of gentle dreams in night’s embrace, the beauty that imagination brings to what would repel in the day’s harsh light. But the greatest of its comforts is the illusion that dark is temporary: that every night brings a new day. Because it’s the day that is temporary. Day is the illusion. Its third gift is the light itself: as days are defined by the nights that divide them, as stars are defined by the infinite black through which they wheel, the dark embraces the light, and brings it forth from the center of its own self. With each victory of the light, it is the dark that wins. The dark is generous, and it is patient. It is the dark that seeds cruelty into justice, that drips contempt into compassion, that poisons love with grains of doubt. The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout. The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow, and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light. The dark’s patience is infinite. Eventually, even stars burn out. The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins. It always wins because it is everywhere. It is in the wood that burns in your hearth, and in the kettle on the fire; it is under your chair and under your table and under the sheets on your bed. Walk in the midday sun, and the dark is with you, attached to the soles of your feet. The brightest light casts the darkest shadow. The dark is generous and it is patient and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies its weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars.

After night comes day. After death comes life. Even at your darkest time look around because you are never really alone. You are loved.

Even in the darkest clouds There are specks of joy Out of the darkness Comes light Just as day Always follows night

Author's Prayer If I speak for the dead, I must leave this animal of my body, I must write the same poem over and over for the empty page is a white flag of their surrender. If I speak of them, I must walk on the edge of myself, I must live as a blind man who runs through the rooms without touching the furniture. Yes, I live. I can cross the streets asking "What year is it?" I can dance in my sleep and laugh in front of the mirror. Even sleep is a prayer, Lord, I will praise your madness, and in a language not mine, speak of music that wakes us, music in which we move. For whatever I say is a kind of petition and the darkest days must I praise.

Look,” I began, “I get it. You don’t like me, but—” “I don’t like you?” He let out a low, flat laugh. One fell into the next, and it was awful—not at all him. He was half choking on them as he turned around, shaking his head. It almost sounded like a sob, the way his breath burst out of him. “I don’t like you,” he repeated, his face bleak. “I don’t like you?” “Liam—” I started, alarmed. “I can’t—I can’t think about anything or anyone else,” he whispered. A hand drifted up, dragging back through his hair. “I can’t think straight when you’re around. I can’t sleep. It feels like I can’t breathe—I just—” “Liam, please,” I begged. “You’re tired. You’re barely over being sick. Let’s just… Can we just go back to the others?” “I love you.” He turned toward me, that agonized expression still on his face. “I love you every second of every day, and I don’t understand why, or how to make it stop—” He looked wild with pain; it pinned me in place, even before what he had said registered in my mind. “I know it’s wrong; I know it down to my damn bones. And I feel like I’m sick. I’m trying to be a good person, but I can’t. I can’t do it anymore.

I guess that sometimes it just takes a long walk through the darkness, a long walk through the darkest shadows and corners of your soul to realize that those are a part of you as well, that you've created through your experiences and thoughts those parts within yourself and as much as you can choose to fear them and repress them, they will require your attention one day, they will need your care and acceptance before you can clean them away and turn the lights on. For you refuse to shine the light on something that is imperfect, because you fear judgement and rejection, but you can always choose to look towards the light as the only source of true beauty and love that can help you in the cleaning process. Healing, after a long time of struggle and mess is a complex process, but a necessary one nevertheless. We are so overwhelmed by the amount of work it requires that we so often choose to run away from the light, hide in our dark corner and hope that we will never be found, hope that we will never be seen, or desperately look outwards for that love and compassion that we can no longer find within ourselves, for our soul's light no longer shines as it used to. And sometimes we just find those people that can see the light beneath all that dust and darkness that's been pilled up, those kind of light workers that understand our broken souls and manage to pick us up and see the beauty within us, when we find it so hard to see it ourselves. Sometimes I get so tired of separation, of division, of groups and different religions and belief systems. Even if you do find the truth, once you've put it into words, books and rules it already becomes distorted by the mind into something that is no longer truth. So I no longer hope for understanding, no longer hope for the opinion of a judgemental mind, but I hope to find the words that touch the soul before the mind, I hope to find the touch that warms the heart from deep inside, and hope to find that far away abandoned part of me which I've left behind.

Parents and adults in our society found a way to preserve their own self-concept, and that was through feeding themselves, as well as you, with the belief “It’s for your own good.” We are fed this lie from day one. Even those of us who grow up in the most loving households are fed this lie. We make our children sit through hours of lessons in the prison-like environment we call school and tell them it’s for their own good. We discipline them in ways that are painful to their minds and bodies and tell them that it’s for their own good.

It isn’t Easter,” he said, “but this week has caused me to think a lot about the Easter story. Not the glorious resurrection that we celebrate on Easter Sunday but the darkness that came before. I know of no darker moment in the Bible than the moment Jesus in his agony on the cross cries out, ‘Father, why have you forsaken me?’ Darker even than his death not long after because in death Jesus at last gave himself over fully to the divine will of God. But in that moment of his bitter railing he must have felt betrayed and completely abandoned by his father, a father he’d always believed loved him deeply and absolutely. How terrible that must have been and how alone he must have felt. In dying all was revealed to him, but alive Jesus like us saw with mortal eyes, felt the pain of mortal flesh, and knew the confusion of imperfect mortal understanding. “I see with mortal eyes. My mortal heart this morning is breaking. And I do not understand. “I confess that I have cried out to God, ‘Why have you forsaken me?’ ” Here my father paused and I thought he could not continue. But after a long moment he seemed to gather himself and went on. “When we feel abandoned, alone, and lost, what’s left to us? What do I have, what do you have, what do any of us have left except the overpowering temptation to rail against God and to blame him for the dark night into which he’s led us, to blame him for our misery, to blame him and cry out against him for not caring? What’s left to us when that which we love most has been taken? “I will tell you what’s left, three profound blessings. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Saint Paul tells us exactly what they are: faith, hope, and love. These gifts, which are the foundation of eternity, God has given to us and he’s given us complete control over them. Even in the darkest night it’s still within our power to hold to faith. We can still embrace hope. And although we may ourselves feel unloved we can still stand steadfast in our love for others and for God. All this is in our control. God gave us these gifts and he does not take them back. It is we who choose to discard them. “In your dark night, I urge you to hold to your faith, to embrace hope, and to bear your love before you like a burning candle, for I promise that it will light your way. “And whether you believe in miracles or not, I can guarantee that you will experience one. It may not be the miracle you’ve prayed for. God probably won’t undo what’s been done. The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day. “Jesus suffered the dark night and death and on the third day he rose again through the grace of his loving father. For each of us, the sun sets and the sun also rises and through the grace of our Lord we can endure our own dark night and rise to the dawning of a new day and rejoice. “I invite you, my brothers and sisters, to rejoice with me in the divine grace of the Lord and in the beauty of this morning, which he has given us.

There will be times in which things appear hopeless. You will begin to doubt everything around you. You will even begin to doubt yourself. You will think things will never look up and you may be in the deepest, darkest, loneliest place in the world. Everything which had once been infused with wonder may appear disappointing and harsh. You may grow cynical and come to believe that this is simply the way the world is...that one must bear with the unforgiving realities of the world and only hope that it doesn’t get worse. You might grow suspicious of others, as adults tend to do, and close yourself off from the rest of the world. You might just look to the past and reminisce about better days...or you might just dwell in one place for a little too long and become nostalgic for the future. Just remember—regardless of where you are, what experiences you have, and who you have become—that there will always be those who have loved you. Those whom you may have taken for granted, but have nonetheless, always had you in their hearts and in their hopes and wishes. Lives that you have touched: whether you realize it or not. To separation you may venture, but indissolubly in union shall you drift...you will always be at the whims of forces, both great and small, and far beyond your capacity to control. That’s how all our stories go. Innumerable arcs intersect and scatter into a vast indefinite sea.

I blinked. Standing there, I thought I would have felt joy, or astonishment, or even terror, gazing down at the world so far away. Instead I felt a weary relief, like that which followed putting your feet up after a long day, or completing a chore. I was left with only the feeling that something had ended.

It was 1976. It was one of the darkest days of my life when that nurse, Mrs. Shimmer, pulled out a maxi pad that measured the width and depth of a mattress and showed us how to use it. It had a belt with it that looked like a slingshot that possessed the jaw-dropping potential to pop a man's head like a gourd. As she stretched the belt between the fingers of her two hands, Mrs. Shimmer told us becoming a woman was a magical and beautiful experience. I remember thinking to myself, You're damn right it had better be magic, because that's what it's going to take to get me to wear something like that, Tinkerbell! It looked like a saddle. Weighed as much as one, too. Some girls even cried. I didn't. I raised my hand. "Mrs. Shimmer," I asked the cautiously, "so what kind of security napkins do boys wear when their flower pollinates? Does it have a belt, too?" The room got quiet except for a bubbling round of giggles. "You haven't been paying attention, have you?" Mrs. Shimmer accused sharply. "Boys have stamens, and stamens do not require sanitary napkins. They require self control, but you'll learn that soon enough." I was certainly hoping my naughty bits (what Mrs. Shimmer explained to us was like the pistil of a flower) didn't get out of control, because I had no idea what to do if they did.

Time has no agenda. You can meet someone and love them right away or grow your love over many years. You could have known someone for eternity and they still could not understand your core existence, yet the stranger at the bus stop knows exactly who you are. Time doesn’t mean a thing. Of all the important things you must do today, there is none greater than showing kindness to your heart. For even the brightest make mistakes and the wisest do not have a thing to say. Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, even on your darkest day.

Of all the important things you must do today, there is none greater than showing kindness to your heart. For even the brightest make mistakes and the wisest do not have a thing to say. Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself, even on your darkest day.

When we feel abandoned, alone, and lost, what’s left to us? What do I have, what do you have, what do any of us have left except the overpowering temptation to rail against God and to blame him for the dark night into which he’s led us, to blame him for our misery, to blame him and cry out against him for not caring? What’s left to us when that which we love most has been taken? “I will tell you what’s left, three profound blessings. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Saint Paul tells us exactly what they are: faith, hope, and love. These gifts, which are the foundation of eternity, God has given to us and he’s given us complete control over them. Even in the darkest night it’s still within our power to hold to faith. We can still embrace hope. And although we may ourselves feel unloved we can still stand steadfast in our love for others and for God. All this is in our control. God gave us these gifts and he does not take them back. It is we who choose to discard them. “In your dark night, I urge you to hold to your faith, to embrace hope, and to bear your love before you like a burning candle, for I promise that it will light your way. “And whether you believe in miracles or not, I can guarantee that you will experience one. It may not be the miracle you’ve prayed for. God probably won’t undo what’s been done. The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day. “Jesus suffered the dark night

Whatever you are going through- don't give up. It has been my experience that the biggest breakthroughs are usually preceded by the darkest times. If you quit- you will never know whats on the other side of the coin. But if you have the tenacity and fortitude to endure, you will eventually overcome. Remember, even tough times dont last forever. Eventually something has to give ; it will either be you or the obstacle. Choose to persist and eventually the obstacle will start to crack. However, during these difficult times, never miss reading for 15 minutes a day. Thats where your strength will come from. As evangelist Joel Osteen says "The darkest hour is just before dawn

my beautiful friend, even on your darkest day i have benefited from the warmth of your light. and i know i’m not the only one. even when you are not consciously giving, you are still giving so much. with your openness, your kindness, your understanding. see yourself through my eyes, for just a moment. feel yourself through my heart.Allow me the honor of reflecting back to you the love you have shown me, time and again, when it was only real love, and real friendship that could have pulled me from the pain. let me take some of your pain now. I am here. I am yours. You are mine, my friend. I am grateful.

I feed my captive vegan,” he growled. The force of his voice stilled me. “She spends her days doing yoga and playing in the yard and her nights reading classics by the fireplace.” His sardonic tone lacked humor. I couldn’t decide if he was insulting me or showing he did care in his own twisted way. I wanted to hear more, but all I could do was turn around and accuse, “You’ve been spying on me.” “Be quiet,” he snapped. “This is my monologue.” I closed my mouth. “Keeping you here is a slap in the face to my men, but it seems I don’t give a fuck about that.” The eye contact seared. “The longer I put off revenge, the closer I get to another war with your papa. And I don’t give a fuck about that either.” My throat tightened at the thought I was a source of that kind of violence. I had no idea my presence here had caused so much trouble. His gaze narrowed. “You pull a trigger on me, and I can’t even leave you out in the cold for fifteen fucking minutes. So you tell me, Mila, who cares more here?

Funny thing about the darkness... It can be defeated by the dimmest shimmer of light! So on your darkest days let even a little bit of light in

Keep searching for the colors when everything turns gray. Even in your darkest moments a brighter day awaits.

May all your days be filled with twinkles so bright that even in the darkest depths you shine brightly

Remember, even in your darkest days, a light is always trying to reach you! All you have to do is open your eyes wide and find that light!

Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth. If you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift. Nor, have you been called here by the individual you assume. Although, you have indeed been called. You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit. A maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust of blood has driven you in endless circles. Chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near. Yet somehow out of reach. But, you will never find them. None of you will. This is where your story ends. And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although, there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered and the memory of everything that started this, can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors. Be still. And give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. As for most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps, warm, waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole. So, don't keep the Devil waiting, friend. My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up in their arms, the way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you, I should have known, you wouldn't be content to disappear. Not my daughter. I couldn't save you then. So, let me save you now. It's time to rest, for you, and for those you have carried in your arms... This ends. For all of us. End communication.

I don't want sunny days. I want the thunderstorm that makes your soul shake. I want the lightning that rips through even the darkest moments and steals your breath as it brings them to life and light. And I want the rain–the rain that drenches you and washes away your hurt, the rain that fuels you and makes you grow. I don't want sunshine and rainbows romance, I want earth-quaking and sky splitting love.

As a parent, we often have to make difficult decisions. We have to say no to our kids, even when it disappoints them. We tell them they have to do certain things for their own good, regardless of whether they like it. I think God is like that, in a way: making certain things happen for our eternal good. Even the suffering on earth, which will somehow be redeemed in heaven. Does He say: Yes, you have to suffer, but you’re going to be okay. I have your best interests at heart. And you have something to learn. At my darkest times, I struggled to believe this. I tried to remember that, even when things don’t go the way I’d hoped, He’s still there. And that maybe we need great disappointment to appreciate the good, and to better appreciate the meaning of God in our lives. I’ve come to realize that part of faith is opening yourself up to free will and knowing God will bring beauty, even in the midst of evil. It’s one thing to say all this. To believe it every day--to live it and not despair--that is a struggle.

I’m never going to leave you,” he says. “Even if I wanted to, I know I never could. I’ll be watching over you till the day I die, cub. And as long as I live, no one will dare touch a hair on your beautiful head.

The day you were born was the happiest day of my life, but I was so nervous that I don’t know if happiness is really the best word to describe what I felt. I think it is my obligation to tell you, in spite of the absolute love I have always felt for you, in spite of how much you have brightened my life, and I assume your mother’s as well—I haven’t seen her in around ten years now, but I’m sure that for her as well you have been a constant source of happiness—in spite of all that, I have to tell you that during the eighteen years you’ve now been alive, I’ve never stopped wondering what my life would have been like if you had never been born. It’s an overwhelming thought, an exit that leads to the darkest of nights, to the most complete blackness, but also to shadow and sometimes, slowly, toward something like a clearing in the woods. These fantasies are normal, but it’s not so common for parents to confess them. For example, over the years I have thought thousands of times that if you hadn’t been born I would have needed less money, or could have disappeared for weeks on end without worrying about anyone. I could have prolonged my youth for several more years. I could have even killed myself. I mean, the first consequence of your birth was that from then on, I could never kill myself.

Ruby?” His hair was pale silver in this light, curled and tangled in its usual way. I couldn’t hide from him. I had never been able to. “Mike came and got me,” he said, taking a careful step toward me. His hands were out in front of him, as if trying to coax a wild animal into letting him approach. “What are you doing out here? What’s going on?” “Please just go,” I begged. “I need to be alone.” He kept coming straight at me. “Please,” I shouted, “go away!” “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on!” Liam said. He got a better look at me and swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Where were you this morning? Did something happen? Chubs told me you’ve been gone all day, and now you’re out here like…this…did he do something to you?” I looked away. “Nothing I didn’t ask for.” Liam’s only response was to move back a few paces back. Giving me space. “I don’t believe you for a second,” he said, calmly. “Not one damn second. If you want to get rid of me, you’re going to have to try harder than that.” “I don’t want you here.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t mean I’m leaving you here alone. You can take all the time you want, as long as you need, but you and me? We’re having this out tonight. Right now.” Liam pulled his black sweater over his head and threw it toward me. “Put it on, or you’ll catch a cold.” I caught it with one hand and pressed it to my chest. It was still warm. He began to pace, his hands on his hips. “Is it me? Is it that you can’t talk to me about it? Do you want me to get Chubs?” I couldn’t bring myself to answer. “Ruby, you’re scaring the hell out of me.” “Good.” I balled up his sweater and threw it into the darkness as hard as I could. He blew out a shaky sigh, bracing a hand against the nearest tree. “Good? What’s good about it?” I hadn’t really understood what Clancy had been trying to tell me that night, not until right then, when Liam looked up and his eyes met mine. The trickle of blood in my ears turned into a roar. I squeezed my eyes shut, digging the heels of my palms against my forehead. “I can’t do this anymore,” I cried. “Why won’t you just leave me alone?” “Because you would never leave me.” His feet shuffled through the underbrush as he took a few steps closer. The air around me heated, taking on a charge I recognized. I gritted my teeth, furious with him for coming so close when he knew I couldn’t handle it. When he knew I could hurt him. His hands came up to pull mine away from my face, but I wasn’t about to let him be gentle. I shoved him back, throwing my full weight into it. Liam stumbled. “Ruby—” I pushed him again and again, harder each time, because it was the only way I could tell him what I was desperate to say. I saw bursts of his glossy memories. I saw all of his brilliant dreams. It wasn’t until I knocked his back into a tree that I realized I was crying. Up this close, I saw a new cut under his left eye and the bruise forming around it. Liam’s lips parted. His hands were no longer out in front of him, but hovering over my hips. “Ruby…” I closed what little distance was left between us, one hand sliding through his soft hair, the other gathering the back of his shirt into my fist. When my lips finally pressed against his, I felt something coil deep inside of me. There was nothing outside of him, not even the grating of cicadas, not even the gray-bodied trees. My heart thundered in my chest. More, more, more—a steady beat. His body relaxed under my hands, shuddering at my touch. Breathing him in wasn’t enough, I wanted to inhale him. The leather, the smoke, the sweetness. I felt his fingers counting up my bare ribs. Liam shifted his legs around mine to draw me closer. I was off-balance on my toes; the world swaying dangerously under me as his lips traveled to my cheek, to my jaw, to where my pulse throbbed in my neck. He seemed so sure of himself, like he had already plotted out this course.

I think it's important to explain that major depression is not even peripherally related to "sadness". Depression is the absence of emotion. I never cried during my darkest periods of depression. Crying would have been A HOLIDAY. It would have been FUCKING CHRISTMAS. A fight or a feeling of anger would have been AN EASTER EGG HUNT AT DISNEYLAND. I am vocal about my depression now because it was so fucking Satanically awful that I view it as one my life's primary missions to help other people understand and overcome it. Depression kills people because in the normal weather patterns of human emotion over a day or a week or a decade, actual unipolar major depressive disorder doesn't appear. It's like The Nothing in The NeverEnding Story. It eats your anger, your sadness, your happiness, your testicle and/or ovaries.

I Promise You A message of hope from a wonderful Mother I am here to walk you Through this journey called life I will look after you Until you can do so on your own I know you need my help for now Yes, I assure you my lovely one I shall hold your hand no matter what And stand by you, even in the darkest night Will ensure your days are bright Indeed, the Earth can be so rough Just like the ocean changes its tide Fear not, for I will be on your side With you, I will fly high Until we go to the skies And touch the shining stars I will not let my scars Stop me from being kind To you my precious child I will be there Until the end I promise you!

Coming out for gay people is a process, not a one-time event. Some days you feel free, open, and ready to piss on the world if they care what you do in bed. On other days, even if you’ve been out to yourself and others, you’re ready to hide in the darkest closet—because sometimes it is safer, easier, and more secure to hide.

I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, ignoring the bite of the frosty air on my bare skin. I launched myself in the direction of the door, fumbling around until I found it. I tried shaking the handle, jiggling it, still thinking, hoping, praying that this was some big birthday surprise, and that by the time I got back inside, there would be a plate of pancakes at the table and Dad would bring in the presents, and we could—we could—we could pretend like the night before had never happened, even with the evidence in the next room over. The door was locked. “I’m sorry!” I was screaming. Pounding my fists against it. “Mommy, I’m sorry! Please!” Dad appeared a moment later, his stocky shape outlined by the light from inside of the house. I saw Mom’s bright-red face over his shoulder; he turned to wave her off and then reached over to flip on the overhead lights. “Dad!” I said, throwing my arms around his waist. He let me keep them there, but all I got in return was a light pat on the back. “You’re safe,” he told me, in his usual soft, rumbling voice. “Dad—there’s something wrong with her,” I was babbling. The tears were burning my cheeks. “I didn’t mean to be bad! You have to fix her, okay? She’s…she’s…” “I know, I believe you.” At that, he carefully peeled my arms off his uniform and guided me down, so we were sitting on the step, facing Mom’s maroon sedan. He was fumbling in his pockets for something, listening to me as I told him everything that had happened since I walked into the kitchen. He pulled out a small pad of paper from his pocket. “Daddy,” I tried again, but he cut me off, putting down an arm between us. I understood—no touching. I had seen him do something like this before, on Take Your Child to Work Day at the station. The way he spoke, the way he wouldn’t let me touch him—I had watched him treat another kid this way, only that one had a black eye and a broken nose. That kid had been a stranger. Any hope I had felt bubbling up inside me burst into a thousand tiny pieces. “Did your parents tell you that you’d been bad?” he asked when he could get a word in. “Did you leave your house because you were afraid they would hurt you?” I pushed myself up off the ground. This is my house! I wanted to scream. You are my parents! My throat felt like it had closed up on itself. “You can talk to me,” he said, very gently. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. I just need your name, and then we can go down to the station and make some calls—” I don’t know what part of what he was saying finally broke me, but before I could stop myself I had launched my fists against him, hitting him over and over, like that would drive some sense back into him. “I am your kid!” I screamed. “I’m Ruby!” “You’ve got to calm down, Ruby,” he told me, catching my wrists. “It’ll be okay. I’ll call ahead to the station, and then we’ll go.” “No!” I shrieked. “No!” He pulled me off him again and stood, making his way to the door. My nails caught the back of his hand, and I heard him grunt in pain. He didn’t turn back around as he shut the door. I stood alone in the garage, less than ten feet away from my blue bike. From the tent that we had used to camp in dozens of times, from the sled I’d almost broken my arm on. All around the garage and house were pieces of me, but Mom and Dad—they couldn’t put them together. They didn’t see the completed puzzle standing in front of them. But eventually they must have seen the pictures of me in the living room, or gone up to my mess of the room. “—that’s not my child!” I could hear my mom yelling through the walls. She was talking to Grams, she had to be. Grams would set her straight. “I have no child! She’s not mine—I already called them, don’t—stop it! I’m not crazy!

Depression goes through stages, but if left unchecked and not treated, this elevator ride will eventually go all the way to the bottom floor. And finally you find yourself bereft of choices, unable to figure out a way up or out, and pretty soon one overarching impulse begins winning the battle for your mind: “Kill yourself.” And once you get over the shock of those words in your head, the horror of it, it begins to start sounding appealing, even possessing a strange resolve, logic. In fact, it’s the only thing you have left that is logical. It becomes the only road to relief. As if just the planning of it provides the first solace you’ve felt that you can remember. And you become comfortable with it. You begin to plan it and contemplate the details of how best to do it, as if you were planning travel arrangements for a vacation. You just have to get out. O-U-T. You see the white space behind the letter O? You just want to crawl through that O and be out of this inescapable hurt that is this thing they call clinical depression. “How am I going to do this?” becomes the only tape playing. And if you are really, really, really depressed and you’re really there, you’re gonna find a way. I found a way. I had a way. And I did it. I made sure Opal was out of the house and on a business trip. My planning took a few weeks. I knew exactly how I was going to do it: I didn’t want to make too much of a mess. There was gonna be no blood, no drama. There was just going to be, “Now you see me, now you don’t.” That’s what it was going to be. So I did it. And it was over. Or so I thought. About twenty-four hours later I woke up. I was groggy; zoned out to the point at which I couldn’t put a sentence together for the next couple of days. But I was semifunctional, and as these drugs and shit that I took began to wear off slowly but surely, I realized, “Okay, I fucked up. I didn’t make it.” I thought I did all the right stuff, left no room for error, but something happened. And this perfect, flawless plan was thwarted. As if some force rebuked me and said, “Not yet. You’re not going anywhere.” The only reason I could have made it, after the amount of pills and alcohol and shit I took, was that somebody or something decided it wasn’t my time. It certainly wasn’t me making that call. It was something external. And when you’re infused with the presence of this positive external force, which is so much greater than all of your efforts to the contrary, that’s about as empowering a moment as you can have in your life. These days we have a plethora of drugs one can take to ameliorate the intensity of this lack of hope, lack of direction, lack of choice. So fuck it and don’t be embarrassed or feel like you can handle it yourself, because lemme tell ya something: you can’t. Get fuckin’ help. The negative demon is strong, and you may not be as fortunate as I was. My brother wasn’t. For me, despair eventually gave way to resolve, and resolve gave way to hope, and hope gave way to “Holy shit. I feel better than I’ve ever felt right now.” Having actually gone right up to the white light, looked right at it, and some force in the universe turned me around, I found, with apologies to Mr. Dylan, my direction home. I felt more alive than I’ve ever felt. I’m not exaggerating when I say for the next six months I felt like Superman. Like I’m gonna fucking go through walls. That’s how strong I felt. I had this positive force in me. I was saved. I was protected. I was like the only guy who survived and walked away from a major plane crash. I was here to do something big. What started as the darkest moment in my life became this surge of focus, direction, energy, and empowerment.

I suppose… I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. But knowing what I do of your past… I assumed…” Her lame attempt at an apology seemed to erode the remnants of Sebastian’s self-control. “Well, your assumption was wrong! If you haven’t yet noticed, I’m busier than the devil in a high wind, every minute of the day. I don’t have the damned time for a tumble. And if I did—” He stopped abruptly. All semblance of the elegant viscount Evie had once watched from afar in Lord Westcliff’s drawing room had vanished. He was rumpled and bruised and furious. And he wasn’t breathing at all well. “If I did—” He broke off again, a flush crossing the crests of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Evie saw the exact moment when his self-restraint snapped. Alarm jolted through her, and she lurched toward the closed door. Before she had even made a step, she found herself seized and pinned against the wall by his body and hands. The smell of sweat-dampened linen and healthy, aroused male filled her nostrils. Once he had caught her, Sebastian pressed his parted lips against the thin skin of her temple. His breath snagged. Another moment of stillness. Evie felt the electrifying touch of his tongue at the very tip of her eyebrow. He breathed against the tiny wet spot, a waft of hellfire that sent chills through her entire body. Slowly he brought his mouth to her ear, and traced the intricate inner edges. His whisper seemed to come from the darkest recesses of her own mind. “If I did, Evie… then by now I would have shredded your clothes with my hands and teeth until you were naked. By now I would have pushed you down to the carpet, and put my hands beneath your breasts and lifted them up to my mouth. I would be kissing them… licking them… until the tips were like hard little berries, and then I would bite them so gently…” Evie felt herself drift into a slow half swoon as he continued in a ragged murmur. “… I would kiss my way down to your thighs… inch by inch… and when I reached those sweet red curls, I would lick through them, deeper and deeper, until I found the little pearl of your clitoris… and I would rest my tongue on it until I felt it throb. I would circle it, and stroke it… I’d lick until you started to beg. And then I would suck you. But not hard. I wouldn’t be that kind. I would do it so lightly, so tenderly, that you would start screaming with the need to come… I would put my tongue inside you… taste you… eat you. I wouldn’t stop until your entire body was wet and shaking. And when I had tortured you enough, I would open your legs and come inside you, and take you… take you…” Sebastian stopped, anchoring her against the wall while they both remained frozen, aroused, panting. At length, he spoke in a nearly inaudible voice. “You’re wet, aren’t you?” Had it been physically possible to blush any harder, Evie would have. Her skin burned with violated modesty as she understood what he was asking. She tipped her chin in the tiniest of nods. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything on this earth.

I Promise You A message of hope from a wonderful Mother I am here to walk you Through this journey called life I will look after you Until you can do so on your own I know you need my help for now Yes, I assure you my lovely one I shall hold your hand no matter what Stand by you, even in the darkest night And ensure your days are bright Indeed, the Earth can be so rough Just like the ocean changes its tide Fear not, for I will be on your side With you, I will fly high Until we get to the skies And touch the shining stars I will not let my scars Stop me from being kind To you, my precious child I will be there Until the end I promise you!

When we feel abandoned, alone, and lost, what’s left to us? What do I have, what do you have, what do any of us have left except the overpowering temptation to rail against God and to blame him for the dark night into which he’s led us, to blame him for our misery, to blame him and cry out against him for not caring? What’s left to us when that which we love most has been taken? “I will tell you what’s left, three profound blessings. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Saint Paul tells us exactly what they are: faith, hope, and love. These gifts, which are the foundation of eternity, God has given to us and he’s given us complete control over them. Even in the darkest night it’s still within our power to hold to faith. We can still embrace hope. And although we may ourselves feel unloved we can still stand steadfast in our love for others and for God. All this is in our control. God gave us these gifts and he does not take them back. It is we who choose to discard them. “In your dark night, I urge you to hold to your faith, to embrace hope, and to bear your love before you like a burning candle, for I promise that it will light your way. “And whether you believe in miracles or not, I can guarantee that you will experience one. It may not be the miracle you’ve prayed for. God probably won’t undo what’s been done. The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day. “Jesus suffered the dark

Don’t think you have to be perfect or even good. You have no obligation to be that. Don’t waste time feeling guilty and repenting things you cannot change. You only have today, and yourself. Let that self expand and live. Love what you love. Listen to other people’s hurt and pain, and share yours with them. If they love you, this will be natural. Meanwhile, the sun rises and sets each day. Flowers bloom and wither, birds migrate and return, trees shed their leaves and wake up again. No matter how lonely and desperate you might feel today, tomorrow is another day to try again. Your imagination is endless, crosses time and dimension, sleeps awhile, and then comes on like fury. These are the things to remember in your darkest times. You are that flower, that bird, that tree, and you will awaken to beauty when it’s time. And that time is your choice.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm joining your little gang of baby heroes on the quest to find Superdad." Simon and Derek exchanged a look. "No," Derek said. "No? Excuse me, it was Rae who betrayed you guys. Not me. I helped Chloe." "And was it Rae who tormented her at Lyle House?" "Tormented?" A derisive snort. "I didn't—" "You did everything you could to get Chloe kicked out," Simon said. "And when that didn't work, you tried to kill her." "Kill her?" Tori's mouth hardened. "I'm not my mother. Don't you dare accuse—" "You lured her into the crawl space," Derek said. "Hit her over the head with a brick, bound and gagged her, and locked her in. Did you even check to make sure she was okay? That you hadn't cracked her skull?" Tori sputtered a protest, but from the horror in her eyes, I knew the possibility hadn't occurred to her. "Derek," I said, "I don't think—" "No she didn't think. She could have killed you with the brick, suffocated you with the gag, given you a heart attack from fright, not to mention what would have happened if you hadn't gotten out of your bindings. It only takes a couple of days to die from dehydration." "I would never have left Chloe to die. You can't accuse me of that." "No," Derek said. "Just of wanting hr locked up in a mental hospital. And why? Because you didn't like her. Because she talked to a guy you did like. Maybe you're not your mother, Tori. But what you are..." He fixed her with an icy look. "I don't want around." The expression on her face...I felt for her, whether she'd welcome my sympathy or not. "We don't trust you," Simon said, his tone softer than his brother's. "We can't have someone along that we don't trust." "What if I'm okay with it," I cut in. "If i feel safe with her..." "You don't," Derek said. "You won't kick her to the curb, though, because it's not the kind of person you are." He met Tori's gaze. "But it's the kind of person I am. Chloe won't force you to leave because she'd feel horrible if anything happened to you. Me? I don't care. You brought it on yourself."

I will tell you what’s left, three profound blessings. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Saint Paul tells us exactly what they are: faith, hope, and love. These gifts, which are the foundation of eternity, God has given to us and he’s given us complete control over them. Even in the darkest night it’s still within our power to hold to faith. We can still embrace hope. And although we may ourselves feel unloved we can still stand steadfast in our love for others and for God. All this is in our control. God gave us these gifts and he does not take them back. It is we who choose to discard them. “In your dark night, I urge you to hold to your faith, to embrace hope, and to bear your love before you like a burning candle, for I promise that it will light your way. “And whether you believe in miracles or not, I can guarantee that you will experience one. It may not be the miracle you’ve prayed for. God probably won’t undo what’s been done. The miracle is this: that you will rise in the morning and be able to see again the startling beauty of the day.

You know,” I said, “you don’t owe New Fiddleham anything. You don’t need to help them.” “Look,” Charlie said as we clipped past Market Street. He was pointing at a man delicately painting enormous letters onto a broad window as we passed. NONNA SANTORO’S, it read, although the RO’S was still just an outline. “That Italian restaurant?” “Yes,” he smiled. “They will be opening their doors for the first time very soon. Sweet family. I bought my first meal in New Fiddleham from that man. A couple of meatballs from a street cart were about all I could afford at the time. He’s an immigrant, too. He’s going to do well. His red sauce is amazing.” “That’s grand for him, then,” I said. “I like it when doors open,” said Charlie. “Doors are opening in New Fiddleham every day. It is a remarkable time to be alive anywhere, really. Do you think our parents could ever have imagined having machines that could wash dishes, machines that could sew, machines that do laundry? Pretty soon we’ll be taking this trolley ride without any horses. I’ve heard that Glanville has electric streetcars already. Who knows what will be possible fifty years from now, or a hundred. Change isn’t always so bad.” “Your optimism is both baffling and inspiring,” I said. “The sun is rising,” he replied with a little chuckle. I glanced at the sky. It was well past noon. “It’s just something my sister and I used to say,” he clarified. “I think you would like Alina. You often remind me of her. She has a way of refusing to let the world keep her down.” He smiled and his gaze drifted away, following the memory. “Alina found a rolled-up canvas once,” he said, “a year or so after our mother passed away. It was an oil painting—a picture of the sun hanging low over a rippling ocean. She was a beautiful painter, our mother. I could tell that it was one of hers, but I had never seen it before. It felt like a message, like she had sent it, just for us to find. “I said that it was a beautiful sunset, and Alina said no, it was a sunrise. We argued about it, actually. I told her that the sun in the picture was setting because it was obviously a view from our camp near Gelendzhik, overlooking the Black Sea. That would mean the painting was looking to the west. “Alina said that it didn’t matter. Even if the sun is setting on Gelendzhik, that only means that it is rising in Bucharest. Or Vienna. Or Paris. The sun is always rising somewhere. From then on, whenever I felt low, whenever I lost hope and the world felt darkest, Alina would remind me: the sun is rising.” “I think I like Alina already. It’s a heartening philosophy. I only worry that it’s wasted on this city.” “A city is just people,” Charlie said. “A hundred years from now, even if the roads and buildings are still here, this will still be a whole new city. New Fiddleham is dying, every day, but it is also being constantly reborn. Every day, there is new hope. Every day, the sun rises. Every day, there are doors opening.” I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “When we’re through saving the world,” I said, “you can take me out to Nonna Santoro’s. I have it on good authority that the red sauce is amazing.” He blushed pink and a bashful smile spread over his face. “When we’re through saving the world, Miss Rook, I will hold you to that.

Why the Leaves Change Colour The first girl who was ever born with amber skin was Mother Nature’s own child. Her birth was from a seed Mother Nature planted in the darkest, purest, most fertile soil, and soon there was a flower, and the flower opened up to show the most beautiful little girl imaginable. One day when the little girl was playing, the Sky, who was her brother, jealous of how lovely she was and how happy and distracted their mother had been since she was born, stole her and placed her upon a star so far away from the earth, Mother Nature could not get to her. In her grief, Mother Nature took every leaf that existed on Earth and turned them amber. The baby girl raised herself on this star—after all, she was her mother’s child, fortitude became her. She became majestic, and independent, and knew how to cope with anything alone because she had always only known alone. When the girl was finally old enough to explore the universe by itself, she travelled across the stars, finding beauty in thousands of planets, but none where she really felt at home. Until, that is, she came upon a beautiful blue planet with amber leaves. Walking through golden leaves, she remembered who she was, and who her mother was, for this is the magic of the bond children have with their mothers. They will remember them even if they are millions of miles away; why do you think good mothers can say things like ‘I love you all the way around the universe’ and you just know they mean it and know not to question it? When Mother Nature felt in her bones that her child had returned, she took her into her arms and turned all the leaves to green again. But because the leaves of amber gold were how her girl found her again, it happens every single year in commemoration. We call it a season. We named it after Mother Nature’s only daughter. We called it Autumn.

Finding Comfort Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort. He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NCV As Christians, we can be assured of this fact: Whether we find ourselves on the pinnacle of the mountain or in the darkest depths of the valley, God is there. If you have been touched by the transforming love of Jesus, then you have every reason to live courageously. After all, Christ has already won the ultimate battle—and He won it for you—on the cross at Calvary. Still, even if you are a dedicated Christian, you may find yourself discouraged by the inevitable disappointments and tragedies that occur in the lives of believers and non-believers alike. The next time you find your courage tested to the limit, lean upon God’s promises. Trust His Son. Remember that God is always near and that He is your protector and your deliverer. When you are worried, anxious, or afraid, call upon Him and accept the touch of His comforting hand. Remember that God rules both mountaintops and valleys—with limitless wisdom and love—now and forever. What a comfort to know that God is present there in your life, available to meet every situation with you, that you are never left to face any problem alone. Vonette Bright Put your hand into the hand of God. He gives the calmness and serenity of heart and soul. Mrs. Charles E. Cowman O Lord, thank You that Your side of the embroidery of our life is always perfect. That is such a comfort when our side is sometimes so mixed up. Corrie ten Boom When faced with adversity the Christian woman comforts herself with the knowledge that all of life’s events are in the hands of God. Vonette Bright Don’t be overwhelmed. Take it one day and one prayer at a time. Stormie Omartian Obedience invites Christ to show His incomparable strength in our mortal weakness. Beth Moore If God has you in the palm of His hand and your real life is secure in Him, then you can venture forth—into the

Psalm 23 Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life. Psalm 23:6 The end of Psalm 23 sums up its message, that goodness and mercy follows us throughout life and into eternity. The old divines called them God’s two sheepdogs that constantly circle, herd, tend, and protect us every day. Taken altogether, Psalm 23 promises: God’s Peace in Life’s Meadows: “The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the quiet waters. He renews my life.” His Plan for Life’s Pathways: “He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake.” His Presence in Life’s Valleys: “Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.” (Here the pronoun changes to the first person: In verses 1–3, it’s “He leads . . . He restores.” In verses 4–6, it’s “You are with me; Your rod and Your staff.”) His Provision on Life’s Tableland: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” His Promises for Life’s Journey: “Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD as long as I live.” Goodness and mercy all my life shall surely follow me; And in God’s house forevermore my dwelling place shall be. —The Scottish Psalter

April 10 MORNING “The place which is called Calvary.” — Luke 23:33 THE hill of comfort is the hill of Calvary; the house of consolation is built with the wood of the cross; the temple of heavenly blessing is founded upon the riven rock — riven by the spear which pierced His side. No scene in sacred history ever gladdens the soul like Calvary’s tragedy. “Is it not strange, the darkest hour That ever dawned on sinful earth, Should touch the heart with softer power, For comfort, than an angel’s mirth? That to the Cross the mourner’s eye should turn, Sooner than where the stars of Bethlehem burn?” Light springs from the midday-midnight of Golgotha, and every herb of the field blooms sweetly beneath the shadow of the once accursed tree. In that place of thirst, grace hath dug a fountain which ever gusheth with waters pure as crystal, each drop capable of alleviating the woes of mankind. You who have had your seasons of conflict, will confess that it was not at Olivet that you ever found comfort, not on the hill of Sinai, nor on Tabor; but Gethsemane, Gabbatha, and Golgotha have been a means of comfort to you. The bitter herbs of Gethsemane have often taken away the bitters of your life; the scourge of Gabbatha has often scourged away your cares, and the groans of Calvary yields us comfort rare and rich. We never should have known Christ’s love in all its heights and depths if He had not died; nor could we guess the Father’s deep affection if He had not given His Son to die. The common mercies we enjoy all sing of love, just as the sea-shell, when we put it to our ears, whispers of the deep sea whence it came; but if we desire to hear the ocean itself, we must not look at every-day blessings, but at the transactions of the crucifixion. He who would know love, let him retire to Calvary and see the Man of sorrows die.

I prefer the color blue to any other. The scent of lilacs in your hair is a source of constant torment. I despise figs. Lastly, I will never forget, all the days of my life, the memories of last night— For nothing, not the sun, not the rain, not even the brightest star in the darkest sky, could begin to compare to the wonder of you. Khalid

BE A BREAST PLATE LIFE CAN BE GOOD WITH GOD EVEN IN THE DARKEST MOMENTS THE LIGHT OF CHRIST SHINES SO BRIGHT LOOK UO TO THE SON THERE IS FIRE BURNIING BETWEEN GOD AND SATAN DONT BE DEVOURED BY THE SNARES OF THE DEVIL IT WILL KILL YOUR SOUL START DRINKING THE BLOOD OF CHRIST SHED FOR MANY AND EAT THE BEST OF BREAD GODS BAKERY IS ALWAYS FRESH . MAYBE SOME DAY YOU WILL WAKE UP HOPE ITS NOT TO LATE SO DONT WAITE . SILVER SPOONS ARE SERVED .PEACE OUT

Read this reflection on Psalm 23 out loud to yourself. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. Jesus is still in charge, still deeply involved in my life and world—guiding, leading, providing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. God restores my weary heart; he gives me resilience . . . if I follow him. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Don’t get baited into all the sociodrama; let God lead me each and every day. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Yes, we are in a dark time. But God is still protecting me and comforting me. I am not navigating this on my own. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. God has a feast of goodness for me even in rough times; he fills my famished craving. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. My reality is not determined by pandemics, politics, or anything else. I live in God; he lives in me. His goodness is with me today, and my future is absolutely wonderful.

A day will come when you will be stirred by unexpected events. A part of you will die, and you will begin to search for the elixir that will bring this part of you back to life. You will seek the elixir in friends, lovers, enemies, books, religions, foreign countries, heroes’ songs, rituals, and jobs, but no matter where you look the treasure will evade you. All will seem lost, and you will lose all hope that this magic potion even exits. This will be the darkest of nights, and the promise of certain death will lead you to the abyss of despair. But staring into the abyss you will see the dim light of your own illuminated Soul. Your radiance will transform the abyss into the elusive elixir of life, and for the first time you will realize that all the while it was your own Light that you’ve been searching for. READ THIS FIRST

To days like these, I know it's pretty difficult to carry on, especially with all that is going on around. I know you tried your best to build something, to grow something the very whole time and when the time came for it to blossom, everything seemed to have fallen apart all over again. I know you have always believed in hard work and the goodness of spirit, yet sometimes when you find your hardwork slip through Time's fingers and your goodness going absolutely unnoticed in a world of camouflaged realities, I hope you hold on. I know you feel angry and hostile and you seek answers but hold on, dear heart for nothing goes in vain in a Universe that absorbs every bit of one's actions and intentions. Hold on, dear heart for it doesn't matter how many times you fall but how you remember to walk ahead having full faith on the Justice of Time. Hold on, dear heart for Faith is not when you carry on when the way is smooth and lit but when you cross tunnels of darkness to become the light yourself, for Faith is knowing He is there with you, even in the darkest of nights and the fiercest of storms. Hold on, dear heart for Nothing is certain in a world that revolves around a star of Fire, only that you have the same fire within yourself, the very Stardust that He has put in your soul. And no matter what, carry on, walk ahead with kindness and grace, seep deep in that passion of hard work that pushes you to wake up in the morning to create something, to grow something and to find something wherein you can pour a flicker of your spirit, while wearing the smile of goodness, the very one that makes you, You. Hold on, dear heart! We will grow our garden, all over again, with a little more sunshine and a smile of strength! Love & Light, always - Debatrayee

Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing, that there is hope.

Contrary to what we have been taught to believe about religion, our heavenly Father has a heart to save and forgive rather than to punish or scold. When he forgives, he also forgets the wrong we’ve done (Hebrews 10:17). As we repent of our ways and turn from our sin, he covers over our sin. He doesn’t lose sight of who he created us to be, even on the darkest days. Our fallible minds can’t even fathom a love that doesn’t record each wrong done to it. Imagine a love that treats others according to their worth in Christ instead of the mistakes they’ve made. We are called to live in that same kind of love. We are called to model this same love and forgiveness to those who do us wrong. We are called to be living proof of God’s love. The apostle Paul wrote, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). Listen—we live in such a broken, offended, and hurting world. We create walls and unloving boundaries with each other, especially after someone has messed up or has committed a heinous act toward us. We build walls to protect ourselves from future pain. It makes sense to respond this way because we don’t want to feel pain. But unforgiveness is poison. It hurts the one who drinks it. Love keeps no record of the wrong done to it (1 Corinthians 13:5). Imagine if we sinned against God, then came back to him with a convicted heart and he had a wall up with us. Or because we had done so much wrong, he created a boundary to protect himself from us. That sounds strange, right? Pretty hard to imagine since that is so outside of his character. Should it not sound just as strange as a behavior coming from us, since we are called to imitate him (Ephesians 5:1)? No, we are not God, but we are certainly called to love like him. In fact, it’s a commandment to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39).

This is the light that shines through your black nights of grief, son of Adam. Jesus’ death and resurrection brightens your darkest evening, daughter of Eve. The Son of God has not forgotten you. You are not alone. You are never alone. He made you a son of your Father in heaven. Do not give up. Take your guilt and place it at the cross. Because at the end of the day, Jesus has saved you. He has saved you from your sins, from your guilt, from your weaknesses, and from yourself.

Prayer Works Lessons from a prayerful Mother In the darkest hour of the night During the hardest time of life When unsure if things will be alright You should pray! When your mind lacks peace And your heart is too broken to beat When you struggle to stand on your feet You ought to pray! When some things do not make sense And everyone close becomes distant When your faith is shaken in an instant You must pray! When the sun is about to set And your noontime is filled with tears When midnight is covered with fear Wake up and pray! When on the battlefield And you seem to have lost your shield When there is no sign you could win Look upon the hills and pray! When the race becomes too long And you cannot keep going on When everything seems over Kneel and pray! For prayer will: Put you back together Set you in a good place forever Keep you going no matter what Give you something to smile about Remove the weight off your shoulders Relieve you of discomfort Heal even a gaping wound Help you follow the right way Take you through another day Each and every day Remember to pray Because prayer works!

Choose someone who can love you not only during the day but also during your darkest nights, even when the sun and the moon resist sharing their light.

Self-harm OCD can come at you from multiple angles at the same time. It says that you will hurt yourself when you don't want to. But thinking about hurting yourself all day is likely to make you unhappy. It doesn't have to if you can view thoughts as meaningless objects of attention, but we're not born naturally adept at this. We're born to seek out threats to ourselves and eliminate them, perhaps even if the so-called threats are just our thoughts. Never forget how brave you are for living with OCD and trying to cope with someone in your head that keeps threatening to kill you. This means that to be self-compassionate about self-harm obsessions, you have to start by understanding that this really just is hard. You may think of yourself as weak or foolish for worrying about your intrusive harm thoughts. Or maybe you think you're crazy or going to lose it. The truth is the opposite. You're not crazy. By recognizing how much of you there is to love, you simultaneously create an environment where your OCD is just OCD, your thoughts are just thoughts, and your ability to overcome your challenges is without limits. Interacting compassionately with your mind means talking to yourself as you would to a good friend. Teasing is allowed as long as it isn't mean-spirited. If you can use humor to relate to the darkest of thoughts, you can help yourself through the darkest of times.

Love and faith will surround your heart when you need strength. Even in the darkest days there will always be light shining down on you.

Choose someone who can love not only your sky during the day but also during your darkest nights even when the stars and the moon resist to share their light.

I don’t want sunny days. I want the thunderstorm that makes your soul shake. I want the lightning that rips through even the darkest moments and steals your breath as it brings them to life and light. And I want the rain—the rain that drenches you and washes away your hurt, the rain that fuels you and makes you grow. I don’t want sunshine and rainbows romance. I want earth-quaking and sky-splitting love.

How to stay positive in your life? Learn positivity You can characterize positive speculation as positive symbolism, positive self-talk, or general good faith, however, these are on the whole despite everything general, vague ideas.They are clear about objectives and they are certain that they will achieve them, at some point or another. Second, confident people search for the positive qualities in each issue or trouble. At the point when things turn out badly, as they frequently do, they state, "That is acceptable!" And then set about discovering something positive about the circumstance. At the point when we attempt to transform ourselves to improve things; we quite often center around our practices. We believe that in the event that we change what we are doing and pick a progressively positive conduct, we will see better outcomes. Fundamentally, this is valid however it truly streamlines the issue. Over and over again, we overlook our considerations and convictions about the things that we need to change when our musings massively affect how we act. Thinking emphatically is basic to effective living. For instance, on the off chance that you need to be increasingly emphatic and go to bat for your privileges, you should initially accept that you have those rights; that you are qualified for shield those rights and that you can impart your privileges in a powerful way. On the off chance that you do not have any of those musings or convictions, you are going to battle to be self-assured. On the off chance that you need trust in any everyday issue, you are going battle to make an accomplishment of that part of your life. 7 Important positive thoughts about life 1. How you start the morning establishes the pace for the remainder of the day. Have you at any point woken up late, froze, and afterward felt like no good thing happened the remainder of the day? This is likely on the grounds that you began the day with a negative feeling and a cynical view that conveyed into each other occasion you encountered. 2. Positive reasoning can add such a great amount to your life – both regarding quality and amount. At the point when you think positively you dispose of pressure and will in general carry on with a more beneficial life and settle on better decisions. In case you're normally a negative mastermind, there are ways you can change that reasoning and jump on the way to a life getting an updated perspective. 3. Note that you don't need to acknowledge your musings as realities. On the off chance that you are feeling terrible, you are probably going to see everything in a negative light yet you can challenge this. We as a whole experience the ill effects of what is alluded to as deduction blunders every now and then. It is significant that we challenge these negative considerations, pick increasingly positive and steady contemplation, and search out proof to help those new musings. 4. Permit yourself to encounter humor in even the darkest or most difficult circumstances. Advise yourself that this circumstance will presumably make for a decent story later and attempt to break a joke about it. 5. It's useful on the off chance that you can see toward the day's end what your considerations have been. Set aside the effort to record them. You'll see what turned out badly with your musings and have the option to improve them. A diary is one of the least difficult however most useful assets that you can use in your endeavors to be increasingly sure and positive. 6. When something turns out badly, cataclysmic reasoning can without much of a stretch dominate. This is the place you lose all viewpoints and believe that since one thing has turned out badly; everything is destroyed. 7. Thinking emphatically comes normal to certain individuals yet there are those. Can also Check: Things Which Is Important To Get Success.

Imagine being able to live with a sense of purpose so compelling that even your darkest days of struggle brim with that hope, confident that the day will come when you look back over every difficult circumstance, every dark chapter, and say worth it.

Sometimes your mountain to climb is made up of weekdays and months, made up of pushing yourself forward even when you want to nestle into the past. Sometimes changing the world means changing your world as gradually as you need to, as gently as you heal, because sometimes courage isn’t made up of war and bloodshed; sometimes courage isn’t made of combat. Sometimes courage is a quiet fight, a dim softness within you, that flickers even on your darkest days and reminds you that you are strong, that you are growing—that there is hope.

Even at my darkest, she loves me, isn’t afraid of me. It might kill her one day… But fuck, I’m too selfish to care. She’s mine. I’m going to stick a goddamn ring on her finger so the whole world knows. I might even carve my name into her skin. I bet she would like that… especially if I fucked her at the same time— “D,” Ryder murmurs, and looks over me. “You’re thinking out loud.” I blink and look from him to Roxy to see her grinning. “Carving, huh? Save it for later.

The Letter Game: Again, there is not much you have to do for this game. You tell your partner to write you a letter. The letter can be handwritten, typed, or even emailed. Give him a deadline. Tell him it must be in your hands (or in-box) by a certain day and time. Make sure he has time to write such a letter. The subject of the letter is, of course, your choice. It could be his favorite fantasy, or his deepest, darkest, fantasy. It could be a letter giving you all the reasons he can come up with that you should deny him an orgasm. That one is especially good if you want to tell him that he has convinced you that you should deny him the orgasm you promised. You can choose any subject you like. You can even give him the subject of one of your favorite fantasies and see what he does with it. Remember, just because he does what you ask does not mean you have to give him what you promised. You can always say that he did not do well enough, or that you changed your mind. Teasing games are all about winning. He wants to win in order to get an orgasm, you want to win in order to deny him one. In many cases, he will be just as happy being denied, as you are denying him. It is just the way the game is played. Just because you lose, does not mean he wins. He should understand that there are times when you, as a woman, can change your mind. The point is, he will have had fun trying to accomplish whatever task you assigned.

You know what I hate? I crave you in every conceivable way and I hate it. I hate the way you poison my thoughts, the way you infect every part of my being. I hate the way you laugh at things that aren’t even funny, even more that you’ve become so vulnerable. It makes me want to protect you, to worry over you and to never stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about you, morning sun or darkest night you’re there. I hate when you nibble your lip when you’re thinking. I despise every dangerous curve along your body, but most especially this curve,” his thumb dragged along her lips. “I wish you would hate me more than you do. I wish you loathed me as much as the day I came into the castle throne room because… I don’t want to want you. I don’t want to trust you again or have anything to do with you. When this is over, and the council is no more, I know you’ll leave me and go back to War, either here or in Palenor, and I’ll never want to see either of you again because it hurts.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow Me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

MONITOR AND RETRIEVE LOST CRYPTOCURRENCY WITH_TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY I felt as though the sadness in my intestines had moved in. Trembling, my fingers made their hundredth lap across the bank statement. $14,000. Vanished. vanished from my online investment account, taking with it a crushing sensation of helplessness and a trail of digital dust. Panic gnawed at me. My life savings, my future, seemingly swallowed into the abyss of the internet. Every avenue I explored felt like a dead end. My frantic calls to the platform yielded robotic platitudes and zero action. The police, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cybercrime, offered little solace. I was drowning in a sea of despair, clutching at straws that seemed to melt in my grasp. Then, a flicker of hope. A friend, privy to my digital nightmare, mentioned Technocrate Recovery. Skeptical, yet desperate, I delved into their website,(ww w.technocr aterecovery. site) eyes scanning for a shred of credibility. Testimonials, success stories, a team of experts – it was a beacon in the darkness. I contacted them, my voice choked with a mix of fear and desperation. The first meeting was enlightening. In contrast to the callous disregard I had experienced in other places, Technocrate Recovery responded to me with compassion and comprehension. They outlined a clear course of action, listened intently, and posed thoughtful questions. They offered a lifeline and the opportunity to fight back against the nameless robber who had taken my hard-earned money, but they did not guarantee miracles. The recovery process was an emotional rollercoaster. Days bled into nights as Technocrate Recovery navigated the complex labyrinth of the online financial world. There were setbacks, roadblocks, and moments I doubted the outcome. But through it all, the team remained steadfast, their unwavering dedication a constant source of strength. Finally, the news I'd been waiting for arrived. A breakthrough traces. A lead. The team, fueled by renewed vigor, pursued it relentlessly. And then, the impossible became reality. My stolen funds, clawed back from the clutches of the cybercriminal, returned to my account. The elation was indescribable. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I confirmed the balance. It wasn't just about the money, though that was significant. It was about reclaiming control, about defying the odds, about proving that even in the darkest corners of the internet, good can prevail. Technocrate Recovery wasn't just a service; they were my digital knights in shining armor. They fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself, guiding me through the labyrinth of cybercrime and bringing me back to the shores of financial safety. Never lose up hope if you find yourself in the depths of online loss. In the virtual realm, there exist champions prepared to defend your pilfered hopes. Let them be your light in the dark by reaching out and sharing your experience with them. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY CONTACT INFORMATION'S..... Email: technocratrecovery@contractor.net   Telegram: @TECHNOCRATE_RECOVERY  

I felt as though the sadness in my intestines had moved in. Trembling, my fingers made their hundredth lap across the bank statement. $14,000. Vanished. vanished from my online investment account, taking with it a crushing sensation of helplessness and a trail of digital dust. Panic gnawed at me. My life savings, my future, seemingly swallowed into the abyss of the internet. Every avenue I explored felt like a dead end. My frantic calls to the platform yielded robotic platitudes and zero action. The police, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cybercrime, offered little solace. I was drowning in a sea of despair, clutching at straws that seemed to melt in my grasp. Then, a flicker of hope. A friend, privy to my digital nightmare, mentioned Technocrate Recovery. Skeptical, yet desperate, I delved into their website,(ww w.technocr aterecovery. site) eyes scanning for a shred of credibility. Testimonials, success stories, a team of experts – it was a beacon in the darkness. I contacted them, my voice choked with a mix of fear and desperation. The first meeting was enlightening. In contrast to the callous disregard I had experienced in other places, Technocrate Recovery responded to me with compassion and comprehension. They outlined a clear course of action, listened intently, and posed thoughtful questions. They offered a lifeline and the opportunity to fight back against the nameless robber who had taken my hard-earned money, but they did not guarantee miracles. The recovery process was an emotional rollercoaster. Days bled into nights as Technocrate Recovery navigated the complex labyrinth of the online financial world. There were setbacks, roadblocks, and moments I doubted the outcome. But through it all, the team remained steadfast, their unwavering dedication a constant source of strength. Finally, the news I'd been waiting for arrived. A breakthrough traces. A lead. The team, fueled by renewed vigor, pursued it relentlessly. And then, the impossible became reality. My stolen funds, clawed back from the clutches of the cybercriminal, returned to my account. The elation was indescribable. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I confirmed the balance. It wasn't just about the money, though that was significant. It was about reclaiming control, about defying the odds, about proving that even in the darkest corners of the internet, good can prevail. Technocrate Recovery wasn't just a service; they were my digital knights in shining armor. They fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself, guiding me through the labyrinth of cybercrime and bringing me back to the shores of financial safety. Never lose up hope if you find yourself in the depths of online loss. In the virtual realm, there exist champions prepared to defend your pilfered hopes. Let them be your light in the dark by reaching out and sharing your experience with them. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY CONTACT INFORMATION'S..... Email: technocratrecovery@contractor.net   Telegram: @TECHNOCRATE_RECOVERY  

MONITOR AND RETRIEVE LOST CRYPTOCURRENCY WITH_TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY I felt as though the sadness in my intestines had moved in. Trembling, my fingers made their hundredth lap across the bank statement. $14,000. Vanished. vanished from my online investment account, taking with it a crushing sensation of helplessness and a trail of digital dust. Panic gnawed at me. My life savings, my future, seemingly swallowed into the abyss of the internet. Every avenue I explored felt like a dead end. My frantic calls to the platform yielded robotic platitudes and zero action. The police, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cybercrime, offered little solace. I was drowning in a sea of despair, clutching at straws that seemed to melt in my grasp. Then, a flicker of hope. A friend, privy to my digital nightmare, mentioned Technocrate Recovery. Skeptical, yet desperate, I delved into their website,(ww w.technocr aterecovery. site) eyes scanning for a shred of credibility. Testimonials, success stories, a team of experts – it was a beacon in the darkness. I contacted them, my voice choked with a mix of fear and desperation. The first meeting was enlightening. In contrast to the callous disregard I had experienced in other places, Technocrate Recovery responded to me with compassion and comprehension. They outlined a clear course of action, listened intently, and posed thoughtful questions. They offered a lifeline and the opportunity to fight back against the nameless robber who had taken my hard-earned money, but they did not guarantee miracles. The recovery process was an emotional rollercoaster. Days bled into nights as Technocrate Recovery navigated the complex labyrinth of the online financial world. There were setbacks, roadblocks, and moments I doubted the outcome. But through it all, the team remained steadfast, their unwavering dedication a constant source of strength. Finally, the news I'd been waiting for arrived. A breakthrough traces. A lead. The team, fueled by renewed vigor, pursued it relentlessly. And then, the impossible became reality. My stolen funds, clawed back from the clutches of the cybercriminal, returned to my account. The elation was indescribable. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I confirmed the balance. It wasn't just about the money, though that was significant. It was about reclaiming control, about defying the odds, about proving that even in the darkest corners of the internet, good can prevail. Technocrate Recovery wasn't just a service; they were my digital knights in shining armor. They fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself, guiding me through the labyrinth of cybercrime and bringing me back to the shores of financial safety. Never lose up hope if you find yourself in the depths of online loss. In the virtual realm, there exist champions prepared to defend your pilfered hopes. Let them be your light in the dark by reaching out and sharing your experience with them. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY CONTACT INFORMATION'S..... Email: technocratrecovery @contractor. net   Telegram: (@)TECHNOCRATE_RECOVERY  

MONITOR AND RETRIEVE LOST CRYPTOCURRENCY WITH_TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY I felt as though the sadness in my intestines had moved in. Trembling, my fingers made their hundredth lap across the bank statement. $14,000. Vanished. vanished from my online investment account, taking with it a crushing sensation of helplessness and a trail of digital dust. Panic gnawed at me. My life savings, my future, seemingly swallowed into the abyss of the internet. Every avenue I explored felt like a dead end. My frantic calls to the platform yielded robotic platitudes and zero action. The police, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cybercrime, offered little solace. I was drowning in a sea of despair, clutching at straws that seemed to melt in my grasp. Then, a flicker of hope. A friend, privy to my digital nightmare, mentioned Technocrate Recovery. Skeptical, yet desperate, I delved into their website,(ww w.technocr aterecovery. site) eyes scanning for a shred of credibility. Testimonials, success stories, a team of experts – it was a beacon in the darkness. I contacted them, my voice choked with a mix of fear and desperation. The first meeting was enlightening. In contrast to the callous disregard I had experienced in other places, Technocrate Recovery responded to me with compassion and comprehension. They outlined a clear course of action, listened intently, and posed thoughtful questions. They offered a lifeline and the opportunity to fight back against the nameless robber who had taken my hard-earned money, but they did not guarantee miracles. The recovery process was an emotional rollercoaster. Days bled into nights as Technocrate Recovery navigated the complex labyrinth of the online financial world. There were setbacks, roadblocks, and moments I doubted the outcome. But through it all, the team remained steadfast, their unwavering dedication a constant source of strength. Finally, the news I'd been waiting for arrived. A breakthrough traces. A lead. The team, fueled by renewed vigor, pursued it relentlessly. And then, the impossible became reality. My stolen funds, clawed back from the clutches of the cybercriminal, returned to my account. The elation was indescribable. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I confirmed the balance. It wasn't just about the money, though that was significant. It was about reclaiming control, about defying the odds, about proving that even in the darkest corners of the internet, good can prevail. Technocrate Recovery wasn't just a service; they were my digital knights in shining armor. They fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself, guiding me through the labyrinth of cybercrime and bringing me back to the shores of financial safety. Never lose up hope if you find yourself in the depths of online loss. In the virtual realm, there exist champions prepared to defend your pilfered hopes. Let them be your light in the dark by reaching out and sharing your experience with them. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY CONTACT INFORMATION'S..... Email: technocratrecovery @contractor.net   Telegram: (@)TECHNOCRATE_RECOVERY  

I felt as though the sadness in my intestines had moved in. Trembling, my fingers made their hundredth lap across the bank statement. $14,000. Vanished. vanished from my online investment account, taking with it a crushing sensation of helplessness and a trail of digital dust. Panic gnawed at me. My life savings, my future, seemingly swallowed into the abyss of the internet. Every avenue I explored felt like a dead end. My frantic calls to the platform yielded robotic platitudes and zero action. The police, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cybercrime, offered little solace. I was drowning in a sea of despair, clutching at straws that seemed to melt in my grasp. Then, a flicker of hope. A friend, privy to my digital nightmare, mentioned Technocrate Recovery. Skeptical, yet desperate, I delved into their website,(ww w.technocr aterecovery. site) eyes scanning for a shred of credibility. Testimonials, success stories, a team of experts – it was a beacon in the darkness. I contacted them, my voice choked with a mix of fear and desperation. The first meeting was enlightening. In contrast to the callous disregard I had experienced in other places, Technocrate Recovery responded to me with compassion and comprehension. They outlined a clear course of action, listened intently, and posed thoughtful questions. They offered a lifeline and the opportunity to fight back against the nameless robber who had taken my hard-earned money, but they did not guarantee miracles. The recovery process was an emotional rollercoaster. Days bled into nights as Technocrate Recovery navigated the complex labyrinth of the online financial world. There were setbacks, roadblocks, and moments I doubted the outcome. But through it all, the team remained steadfast, their unwavering dedication a constant source of strength. Finally, the news I'd been waiting for arrived. A breakthrough traces. A lead. The team, fueled by renewed vigor, pursued it relentlessly. And then, the impossible became reality. My stolen funds, clawed back from the clutches of the cybercriminal, returned to my account. The elation was indescribable. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I confirmed the balance. It wasn't just about the money, though that was significant. It was about reclaiming control, about defying the odds, about proving that even in the darkest corners of the internet, good can prevail. Technocrate Recovery wasn't just a service; they were my digital knights in shining armor. They fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself, guiding me through the labyrinth of cybercrime and bringing me back to the shores of financial safety. Never lose up hope if you find yourself in the depths of online loss. In the virtual realm, there exist champions prepared to defend your pilfered hopes. Let them be your light in the dark by reaching out and sharing your experience with them.

I felt as though the sadness in my intestines had moved in. Trembling, my fingers made their hundredth lap across the bank statement. $14,000. Vanished. vanished from my online investment account, taking with it a crushing sensation of helplessness and a trail of digital dust. Panic gnawed at me. My life savings, my future, seemingly swallowed into the abyss of the internet. Every avenue I explored felt like a dead end. My frantic calls to the platform yielded robotic platitudes and zero action. The police, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of cybercrime, offered little solace. I was drowning in a sea of despair, clutching at straws that seemed to melt in my grasp. Then, a flicker of hope. A friend, privy to my digital nightmare, mentioned Technocrate Recovery. Skeptical, yet desperate, I delved into their website, eyes scanning for a shred of credibility. Testimonials, success stories, a team of experts – it was a beacon in the darkness. I contacted them, my voice choked with a mix of fear and desperation. The first meeting was enlightening. In contrast to the callous disregard I had experienced in other places, Technocrate Recovery responded to me with compassion and comprehension. They outlined a clear course of action, listened intently, and posed thoughtful questions. They offered a lifeline and the opportunity to fight back against the nameless robber who had taken my hard-earned money, but they did not guarantee miracles. The recovery process was an emotional rollercoaster. Days bled into nights as Technocrate Recovery navigated the complex labyrinth of the online financial world. There were setbacks, roadblocks, and moments I doubted the outcome. But through it all, the team remained steadfast, their unwavering dedication a constant source of strength. Finally, the news I'd been waiting for arrived. A breakthrough traces. A lead. The team, fueled by renewed vigor, pursued it relentlessly. And then, the impossible became reality. My stolen funds, clawed back from the clutches of the cybercriminal, returned to my account. The elation was indescribable. Tears of relief streamed down my face as I confirmed the balance. It wasn't just about the money, though that was significant. It was about reclaiming control, about defying the odds, about proving that even in the darkest corners of the internet, good can prevail. Technocrate Recovery wasn't just a service; they were my digital knights in shining armor. They fought for me when I couldn't fight for myself, guiding me through the labyrinth of cybercrime and bringing me back to the shores of financial safety. Never lose up hope if you find yourself in the depths of online loss. In the virtual realm, there exist champions prepared to defend your pilfered hopes. Let them be your light in the dark by reaching out and sharing your experience with them. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY CONTACT INFORMATION'S..... Email: technocratrecovery@contractor.net   Telegram: @TECHNOCRATE_RECOVERY  

[Psa. 23] The Lord as a protective Shepherd. A psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley,2 I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Oh my fucking gosh, Cole.” I chuckle. Even during the most romantic moment, that damn potty mouth comes out. “I prayed for an angel in my darkest times. Times when it would have been so easy to give up, I closed my eyes and somehow felt your touch. I just knew you were out there. I only had to be patient, and I knew that, one day, you’d find me. And you did.

Who'd have thought our road would be so long when we started this ride together Facing every storm by standing strong for worse or for better Making memories with every passing day that will last us a lifetime And even in the darkest of days your love makes me shine Now under the summer moons sky lost in the sparkle in your eyes So many things I want to say to you but no words would ever do Here in this moment, I just want to love you

In your darkest moments, it can feel not only as if you are helpless, but as if you may not matter at all. But here’s the thing: Your existence has rippled through the world in ways you may not be aware of. At some point your smile or kind words may have shifted someone’s day, which may have shifted their life or the lives they encountered. No one is an island, and you matter in ways that may not be immediately apparent. Even if you feel like you’ve done nothing at all for this to be the case, it is still true. You don’t have to do anything in order to make an impact; it just happens regardless.

Richard Kay Richard Kay became friends with Diana, Princess of Wales, through his job as royal correspondent for London’s Daily Mail. After her separation in 1992, he used his knowledge to give a penetrating and unique insight into Diana’s troubled life, and they remained friends until the end. Richard is now diary editor or the Daily Mail and lives in London with his wife and three children. Over the years, I saw her at her happiest and in her darkest moments. There were moments of confusion and despair when I believed Diana was being driven by the incredible pressures made on her almost to the point of destruction. She talked of being strengthened by events, and anyone could see how the bride of twenty had grown into a mature woman, but I never found her strong. She was as unsure of herself at her death as when I first talked to her on that airplane, and she wanted reassurance about the role she was creating for herself. In private, she was a completely different person form the manicured clotheshorse that the public’s insatiable demand for icons had created. She was natural and witty and did a wonderful impression of the Queen. This was the person, she told me, that she would have been all the time if she hadn’t married into the world’s most famous family. What she hated most of all was being called “manipulative” and privately railed against those who used the word to describe her. “They don’t even know me,” she would say bitterly, sitting cross-legged on the floor of her apartment in Kensington Palace and pouring tea from a china pot. It was this blindness, as she saw it, to what she really was that led her seriously to consider living in another country where she hoped she would be understood. The idea first emerged in her mind about three years before her death. “I’ve got to find a place where I can have peace of mind,” she said to me. She considered France, because I was near enough to stay in close touch with William and Harry. She thought of America because she--naively, it must be said--saw it as a country so brimming over with glittery people and celebrities that she would be able to “disappear.” She also thought of South Africa, where her brother, Charles, made a home, and even Australia, because it was the farthest place she could think of from the seat of her unhappiness. But that would have separated her form her sons. Everyone said she would go anywhere, do anything, to have her picture taken, but in my view the truth was completely different. A good day for her was one where her picture was not taken and the paparazzi photographers did not pursue her and clamber over her car. “Why are they so obsessed with me?” she would ask me. I would try to explain, but I never felt she fully understood. Millions of women dreamed of changing places with her, but the Princess that I knew yearned for the ordinary humdrum routine of their lives. “They don’t know how lucky they are,” she would say. On Saturday, just before she was joined by Dodi Al Fayed for their last fateful dinner at the Ritz in Pairs, she told me how fed up she was being compared with Camilla. “It’s all so meaningless,” she said. She didn’t say--she never said--whether she thought Charles and Camilla should marry. Then, knowing that as a journalist I often work at weekends, she said to me, “Unplug your phone and get a good night’s sleep.

True friends are like diamonds. They shine for you even on the darkest days.

Psalms The Good Shepherd A Davidic psalm. 23 The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. 2 He lets me lie down in green pastures;  He leads me beside quiet waters.  3 He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths  for His name's sake. 4 Even when I go through the darkest valley,  I fear no danger, for You are with me;  Your rod and Your staff — they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil;  my cup overflows. 6 Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life,  and I will dwell in  the house of the Lord as long as I live.

The pound of footsteps suddenly echoed and the flames several feet in front of her parted. Finally. In strolled Lucifer, as carefree as a summer day. “I’ve been waiting for your return,” he said in the silkiest of voices. He even grinned, the expression pure wickedness. “What can I do for you, my darling?

INDULGE IN THE DARKEST CHOCOLATES. Chocolates that are at least 70 percent cocoa, preferably 85 percent or higher, easily fit into your regimen. Count net carbohydrates: the delicious Ghirardelli Intense Dark 86% Cocoa chocolate bar, for instance, contains 15 g total carbs, 5 g fiber (lots of fiber in dark chocolate) = 10 g net carbs in 4 squares (45 g) of chocolate, which is half of the entire 3-ounce bar, more than enough to satisfy even the most serious chocolate habit.

I stood on a rise, overlooking the plague valley. Matthew was beside me. The last thing I remembered was crawling into my sleeping bag after the whiskey had hit me like a two-by-four to the face. Now my friend was here with me. “I’ve missed you. Are you feeling better?” How much was this vision taking out of him? “Better.” He didn’t appear as pale. He wore a heavy coat, open over a space camp T-shirt. “I’m so relieved to hear that, sweetheart. Why would you bring us here?” “Power is your burden.” I surveyed all the bodies. “I felt the weight of it when I killed these people.” “Obstacles multiply.” “Which ones?” A breeze soughed over the valley. “Bagmen, slavers, militia, or cannibals?” He held up the fingers of one hand. “There are now five. The miners watch us. Plotting.” “But miners are the same as cannibals, right?” He shuffled his boots with irritation. “Miners, Empress.” “Okay, okay.” I rubbed his arm. “Are you and Finn being safe?” His brows drew together as he gazed out. “Smite and fall, mad and struck.” I looked with him, like we were viewing a sunset, a beautiful vista. Not plague and death. “You’ve told me those words before.” “So much for you to learn, Empress. Beware the inactivated card.” One Arcana’s powers lay dormant—until he or she killed another player. “Who is it?” “Don’t ask, if you ever want to know.” Naturally, I started to ask, but he cut me off. “Do you believe I see far?” He peered down at me. “Do you believe I see an unbroken line that stretches on through eternity? Centuries ago, I told an Empress that a future incarnation of hers would live in a world of ash where nothing grew. She never believed me.” I could imagine Phyta or the May Queen surveying verdant fields and crops, doubting the Fool. “Now I tell you that dark days are ahead. Will you believe me?” “I will. I do. Please tell me what will happen. How dark?” “Darkest. Power is your burden; knowing is mine.” His expression turned pleading, his soft brown eyes imploring. “Never hate me.” I raised my hands, cradling his face. “Even when I was so mad at you, I never hated you.” “Remember. Matthew knows best.” He sounded like his mom—when she’d tried to drown him: Mother knows best, son. I dropped my hands. “It scares me when you say that.” “Do you know what you really want? I see it. I feel it. Think, Empress. See far.” I was trying! “Help me, then. I’m ready. Help me see far!” “All is not as it seems. What would you sacrifice? What would you endure?” “To end the game?” His voice grew thick as he said, “Things will happen beyond your wildest imaginings.” “Good things?” His eyes watered. “Good, bad, good, bad, good, good, bad, bad, good-bye. You are my friend.

Tani-har-ro,” he said softly. She turned her head to find that he was sniffing her hair, his expression quizzical. The moment their eyes met, her insides tightened. Up close, his face seemed even harsher than it had the night before, features chiseled, lips narrowed to an uncompromising line, his skin baked brown by the sun. She could see in minute detail the tiny cracks in his grease paint, the thick sweep of his lashes, the knife scar that slashed his cheek. His eyes were without question the darkest blue she had ever seen and seemed to cut right through her. If she had been entertaining the thought of pleading with him, it fled her mind now. She remembered what he had said to her that first day. Look at me and know the face of your master. She supposed, by his standards, he had a right to smell her hair since he had paid dearly for every strand.

Loretta’s shoulders slumped in defeat. With numb hands she lowered the rifle to the dirt. A nasty grin twisted Hunter’s mouth. “So it is a trade? You are my woman?” For once, she was glad she couldn’t talk. “You can make sign language, herbi.” His eyes locked with hers, glinting, watchful. Amy cried, “No, Loretta, no, don’t do it!” Lifting an eyebrow, the Comanche waited. The tension mounted, reminding Loretta of the lull right before a storm, thick, heavy, unnaturally quiet. She caught the inside of her cheek between her teeth and forced herself to nod. His eyes flickered with satisfaction. Nudging his mount forward, he closed the distance between them and leaned down to encircle her waist with a steely arm. With little effort he lifted her onto his horse, positioning her sideways in front of him so her shoulder pressed against his chest, her bottom wedged between him and the ridge of his stallion’s neck. Never had she felt such quivering, helpless fear. He was going to take her. The reality of it sank home now that he had her on his horse. “Tani-har-ro,” he said softly. She turned her head to find that he was sniffing her hair, his expression quizzical. The moment their eyes met, her insides tightened. Up close, his face seemed even harsher than it had the night before, features chiseled, lips narrowed to an uncompromising line, his skin baked brown by the sun. She could see in minute detail the tiny cracks in his grease paint, the thick sweep of his lashes, the knife scar that slashed his cheek. His eyes were without question the darkest blue she had ever seen and seemed to cut right through her. If she had been entertaining the thought of pleading with him, it fled her mind now. She remembered what he had said to her that first day. Look at me and know the face of your master. She supposed, by his standards, he had a right to smell her hair since he had paid dearly for every strand. A flush slid up her neck. In nothing but a nightgown, she would have been embarrassed in front of any man; with Hunter her humiliation was tenfold. He swept his gaze over her with no sign of guilt, no hesitation, his attention lingering on whatever drew his interest. When he traced her collarbone with a fingertip and gave her arm a squeeze, she felt like a head of beef at auction. “You are too skinny. Your father should feed you more.” Catching hold of her chin, he tipped her head back and forced her mouth open to check her teeth. “Hmph-hh,” he grunted, returning his arm to her waist. “This Comanche paid too many horses. Without your pitsikwina to cover you, you are all bones.” She flashed him a glare, only to discover that his eyes were filled with laughter. He slid a hand up her side, his fingers firm and warm where they hugged the curve of her ribs. She stiffened when he cupped the underside of her breast, but she didn’t resist his touch. “Maybe not all bones. What do you have there, herbi? Do you try to hide the sweet places your mother promised me?” He watched her for a moment, as if trying to predict what her reaction might be to such outrageous familiarity. Then his mouth twisted in a mocking smile. “You do not spit when your sister may suffer my wrath. I should keep her, I think. She is a brave warrior, no?

Really, anyone can have a good attitude when everything is going well. We can all celebrate and be grateful when we’re on the mountaintop, but where are the people who give God praise even as the bottom falls out? Where are the people who rise up each morning and prepare for victory and increase in spite of all the news reports predicting doom and gloom? Where are the people who say, “God, I still praise You even though the medical report wasn’t good” or “God, I still thank You even though it didn’t turn out my way”? I believe you are one of those people. I believe you are of great faith. Your roots go down deep. You could be complaining. You could be discouraged. You could have a chip on your shoulder, but instead you just keep giving God praise. You’ve got that smile on your face. You’re doing the right thing even though the wrong thing is happening. That’s why I can tell you with confidence that you are coming into greater victories. Enlarge your vision. Take the limits off God. You have not seen your best days. God has victories in your future that will amaze you. He will show up and show out in unusual ways. You may be in a tough time right now, but remember this: The enemy always fights you the hardest when he knows God has something great in store for you. You are closest to your victory when it is the darkest. That is the enemy’s final stand. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t start complaining. Just keep offering up that sacrifice of praise.

A good book was not a dream but a nightmare. One that left you trembling in desolation as you awoke from the daunting hours of twilight. The compelling torment that came with each word written on the pages—a record player in your mind, spinning over. And over. And over. Until one day it stops, and you’re stuck. Stuck in a world of such bleakness and despair that you can’t help but wonder when your next nightmare will be—when the next time you’ll feel seen again will be, even if it is through the eyes of your deepest, darkest demons.

Our shepherd intends that we experience his love every day, by living a life that is FREE FROM FEAR … There is not a single day in your future when God will not be seeking you out to give you goodness, to give you love, even in those times, when you walk through the darkest valley. David doesn’t say that there won’t be pain; he doesn’t say that there won’t be trouble and distress, but he DOES say that there will always be goodness, there will always be love, there will always be kindness, hot on your heels.

The ocean is a good metaphor for our interconnected life. With a regular meditation practice, we can learn to surf life’s waves, but chances are good that we will sometimes be overpowered by them for a while. A technique like following your breath is a great surfboard for riding these waves. But when the surf is up and you’re being submerged in wave after wave of fear, anger, and anxiety, you may need a more specialized surfboard, possibly adding counting your breath, repeating a mantra or phrase that is meaningful to you, or doing walking meditation rather than simply sitting still. Sometimes Jerry and I felt as if we were wasting our time trying to surf—we were just getting knocked over by one wave after another. Days and sometimes even weeks went by when we weren’t making any progress at all—very discouraging. Life can be like that, but with a regular meditation practice, you learn to experience each wave not as an obstacle to your real life but as your real life. Eventually you may learn to enjoy the surf directly, with no board at all, experiencing the joy of being fully immersed in the water, regardless of its turbulent energies. Each wave has its own unique nature. It also has the nature of the entire ocean, because a wave is not separate from the ocean. You learn to be patient when you’re riding the energy of the entire ocean. Jerry and I surfed on calm days and on stormy days. Surfing on stormy days isn’t easy, but the storm is never separate from the calmness down below. Even so, for every thrilling swell that lifts you upward toward the sky, there is a trough that can send you reeling into the darkest depths. Troughs are part of the ocean, too. When you’re in a deep trough, you can’t go forward and you can’t retreat. Nor can you predict what will come next, because you can’t see beyond the trough. In the troughs, you learn to trust, to have courage, and to be patient—qualities that come naturally if you’re committed to surfing the entire ocean.

The place which is called Calvary." Luke 23:33 The hill of comfort is the hill of Calvary; the house of consolation is built with the wood of the cross; the temple of heavenly blessing is founded upon the riven rock--riven by the spear which pierced his side. No scene in sacred history ever gladdens the soul like Calvary's tragedy. "Is it not strange, the darkest hour That ever dawned on sinful earth, Should touch the heart with softer power, For comfort, than an angel's mirth? That to the Cross the mourner's eye should turn, Sooner than where the stars of Bethlehem burn?" Light springs from the midday-midnight of Golgotha, and every herb of the field blooms sweetly beneath the shadow of the once accursed tree. In that place of thirst, grace hath dug a fountain which ever gusheth with waters pure as crystal, each drop capable of alleviating the woes of mankind. You who have had your seasons of conflict, will confess that it was not at Olivet that you ever found comfort, not on the hill of Sinai, nor on Tabor; but Gethsemane, Gabbatha, and Golgotha have been a means of comfort to you. The bitter herbs of Gethsemane have often taken away the bitters of your life; the scourge of Gabbatha has often scourged away your cares, and the groans of Calvary yields us comfort rare and rich. We never should have known Christ's love in all its heights and depths if he had not died; nor could we guess the Father's deep affection if he had not given his Son to die. The common mercies we enjoy all sing of love, just as the sea-shell, when we put it to our ears, whispers of the deep sea whence it came; but if we desire to hear the ocean itself, we must not look at every-day blessings, but at the transactions of the crucifixion. He who would know love, let him retire to Calvary and see the Man of sorrows die.

Prayer Works Lessons from a prayerful Mother In the darkest hour of the night During the hardest time of life When unsure if things will be all right You should pray! When your mind lacks peace And your heart is too broken to beat When you struggle to stand on your feet You ought to pray! When some things do not make sense And everyone close becomes distant When your faith is shaken in an instant You must pray! When the sun is about to set And your noontime is filled with tears When the midnight is covered with fear Wake up and pray! When in the battlefield And you have misplaced your shield When there is no sign you could win Look upon the hills and pray! When the race becomes too long And you cannot keep going on When everything seems over Kneel and pray! For prayer will: Put you back together Set you in a good place forever Keep you going no matter what Give you something to smile about Remove the weight off your shoulders Relieve you from discomfort Heal even a gaping wound Help you follow the right way Take you through another day Each and everyday Remember to pray Because prayer works!