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Better to stay cool just in case things go south. Researcher Dr. Brené Brown calls that “foreboding joy,” a fear that although things look wonderful right now, they probably won’t stay that way. So why get too happy? However, there is another reason that some women dampen their positive emotions. People who like and value themselves—those who have high self-esteem—view happiness as a state of being that mirrors their own perception of who they are. A woman in this category might say something like, “I am valuable. God loves me and blesses me.” To the contrary, a woman who does not like herself or see herself as valuable sees unhappiness as a state of being that she deserves. When positive emotions come, she is more likely to dampen those feelings by downplaying them. She is actually motivated to be unhappy because unhappiness is consistent with who she believes she is. Now,
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