Danish Way Of Parenting Quotes

By not being authentic, you undermine your child’s ability to sense what is true and false. Kids

Emotional honesty, not perfection, is what children truly need from their parents. Children

When you substitute "we" for "I" even "illness" becomes "wellness".

Sometimes we forget that parenting, like love, is a verb.

I believe adopting free unstructured play, within an appropriate framework, has rich potential in bringing up happy, well-balanced and resilient children.

Emotional honesty, not perfection, is what children truly need from their parents.

Children are constantly focused on their parents and will mirror them. Therefore, what they experience in the home will be crucial for their empathy development. Parents have a big responsibility because they are the primary example of empathy and must practice being empathic themselves.

Resilience isn’t cultivated by avoiding stress, you see, but by learning how to tame and master it.

The best gift you can give your children is to keep yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually healthy.

Being aware of yourself and choosing your behavior is the first step towards powerful life change. This is how we become better people. This is how we become better parents.

Teach respect, be respectful and you will be respected

Feeling connected to others gives meaning and purpose to our lives.

Happy kids grow up to be happy adults who raise happy kids, and so on.

Learning to act on intrinsic goals, such as improving relationships or engaging in hobbies you love, rather than on extrinsic goals, such as buying a new car, is what is proven to create true well-being.

Praise is closely connected to how kids view their intelligence. If they are constantly praised for being naturally smart, talented, or gifted (sound familiar?), they develop what is called a “fixed” mind-set (their intelligence is fixed and they have it).

In English it is called the “terrible twos,” whereas in Danish it is called trodsalder (the “boundary age”); children pushing boundaries is normal and welcomed, not annoying and terrible. When you see it that way, it is easier to welcome the misbehavior rather than seeing it as bad and deserving of punishment.

Emotional honesty, not perfection, is what children truly need from their parents. Children are always observing how you feel anger, joy, frustration, contentment, and success and how you express it in the world. We have to model honesty for our children and let them know that it is OK to feel all of their emotions.

Not only do we want to protect our children from stress, but we also want to build their self-confidence and make them feel special. The standard method of doing this is to praise them, sometimes excessively, for insignificant accomplishments. But in our quest to increase confidence and reduce stress, we may actually be setting them up for more stress in the long run. Building confidence rather than self-esteem is like making a nice house with little foundation. We all know what happens when the big bad wolf comes.

Remember to distinguish the behavior from the child, because here isn't a bad child, just bad behavior.

Realistic optimists merely filter out unnecessary negative information.

Building confidence rather than self-esteem is like making a nice house with little foundation.

We can't change the way we were raised, but we can 100% change the way we raise our children.

If we change the way we see our children, the way they see themselves will change. Always look for the good.

Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't.

The language we use is extremely powerful. It is the frame through which we perceive and describe ourselves and our picture of the world.

Good begets good. Calm begets calm. It isn´t the child who is bad; it is the action that is bad.

孩子不需要大人帶他們進行活動或玩玩具。大人愈放手讓孩子自己主導遊戲、運用想像力、自己想辦法，孩子就會做得愈好。孩子遊戲時學到的技能是無價之寶。我們太擔心孩子應該參加多少正規活動，也太煩惱他們學到多少東西，卻忘記讓孩子自由玩耍的重要性。別再懷有罪惡感，讓孩子玩，不代表父母失職。孩子缺的正是自由玩耍！

to use more tempered, less severe language. Use less judgment and more acceptance, and you will find yourself in fewer power struggles with your kids and your partner.

The language we use is extremely powerful. It is the frame through which we perceive and describe ourselves and our picture of the world.

PARENT—play, authenticity, reframing, empathy, no ultimatums, and togetherness—

It's not mindfulness, it's we-fullness-the Danish art of Hygge

We sometimes think we are helping kids by pushing them to perform or learn faster, but leading them in the right moment of their development will yield much better results—not only because of the learning itself, which will surely be more pleasurable, but because the children will be more assured of the mastery of their skills, since they feel more in charge of acquiring them.

Allan Holmgren, a well-known Danish psychologist, believes that our reality is created in the language we use. All change involves a change in language. A problem is only a problem if it is referred to as a problem.

We agree to spend “Sunday dinner” in hygge. We all promise to help one another as a team in creating a cozy atmosphere where everyone feels safe and no one needs to have their guard up. We agree to try to . . . Turn off the phones and the iPads. Leave our drama at the door. There are other times to focus on our problems. Hygge is about creating a safe place to relax with others and leave the everyday stressors outside. Not complain unnecessarily.

Improve meaningful relationships Try using empathy to patch up some of your own relationships. Having fractured relationships has been proven to cause physical and psychological damage. Empathy and forgiveness activate the same region of the brain, which means the more you hone your empathy skills, the easier it is to forgive and be forgiven. Meaningful friend and family relationships are the most important factors determining true happiness, well above having a lot of money.

Being humble is a very important value in Denmark. This dates far back in history and is a part of the Danes’ cultural heritage. This value of humility is about knowing who you are so well that you don’t need others to make you feel important. Therefore, they try not to overload their children with compliments.

Talk with your children about how important honesty is in your family. Make it a value. Let them know you put more emphasis on honesty than on the punishment for bad behavior. If you confront your kids accusingly with anger or threats and are punitive when they misbehave, they might become afraid to tell the truth. If you make it safe for them, they will be honest. Remember, it takes a lot to confess or tell the truth for anyone at any age. It doesn’t always come naturally. It’s up to us to teach them to be courageous enough to be honest and vulnerable and confess when necessary. Be nonjudgmental. This kind of honest relationship, if fostered well, will be paramount during the teenage years.

The researchers discovered that there was a dramatic shift from an internal to an external locus of control in children of all ages, from elementary school to college. To give you an idea of how great a shift it was, young people in 1960 were 80 percent more likely to claim that they had control over their lives than children in 2002, who were more prone to say they lacked such personal control.

Be careful praising for failures or mistakes. Saying things like “Well done!” “You did your best!” “Better luck next time!” can be heard as pity. Focus on what they did accomplish and how it can be worked on—“I know you missed the goal, but it was very close! Let’s get out and practice next week so you’ll get it next time! Remember, practice is the key!” By focusing on the effort involved in learning, we create a growth mind-set.

Increasing our self-awareness and making conscious decisions about our actions and reactions are the first steps toward powerful life change. This is how we become better parents—and better people. And this is how we create a legacy of well-being to pass on to the next generations. Is there a greater gift you can give to your children and your children’s children than helping them grow up to be happier, more secure and resilient adults? We don’t think so. And we hope you’ll agree.

Groundbreaking research in neuroscience has revealed what scientists are calling the “social brain.” This is a brain region that lights up when we are engaged in social interactions. Matthew Lieberman, a social cognitive neuroscientist, writes: “This network comes on like a reflex and it directs us to think about other people’s minds, their thoughts, feelings and goals. It promotes understanding and empathy, cooperation and consideration.” Lieberman believes that we are wired not only for self-interest but also for the welfare of others.

Social groups are also a big part of Danish life. Called foreningsliv (or “association life”), these groups are based on a shared hobby or interest. The objective can be economic, political, academic, or cultural. Their function can be to change something in society, such as in a political association, or to express themselves in a way that meets the members’ social needs, such as in a choral society or a bridge club. Statistics show that 79 percent of Denmark’s business leaders have been active in associations before the age of thirty. Respectively, 94 percent, 92 percent, and 88 percent of managers with experience in associations believe that these years of involvement benefited their social skills and interpersonal skills and gave them a strong network. Ninety-nine percent of Denmark’s governors believe that participation in these voluntary associations promotes young people’s professional skills.

America, we believe that praising kids for how smart they are builds their confidence and motivation to learn. We are rather obsessed with the idea of talent and genius and innate abilities. We freely praise our children and others because we think it is helpful. But three decades of research done by Stanford psychologist Carol S. Dweck has proven otherwise.

Don’t overuse praise for things that are too easy. This can teach your child that he is only praiseworthy when he completes a task quickly, easily, and perfectly, and that does not help him embrace challenges. If, for example, a child gets an A easily without much effort, try saying, “Well that was way too easy for you! Why don’t we try doing something more challenging that you can learn from?

We agree to spend “Sunday dinner” in hygge. We all promise to help one another as a team in creating a cozy atmosphere where everyone feels safe and no one needs to have their guard up. We agree to try to . . . Turn off the phones and the iPads. Leave our drama at the door. There are other times to focus on our problems. Hygge is about creating a safe place to relax with others and leave the everyday stressors outside. Not complain unnecessarily. Look for ways to help out so that no one person gets stuck doing all the work. Light candles if we are inside. Make a conscious effort to enjoy the food and the drinks. Not bring up controversial topics like politics. Anything that creates a fight or an argument is not hyggeligt. We can have those discussions at other times. Tell and retell funny, lovely, and uplifting stories about one another from the past. Not brag too much. Bragging can be subtly divisive. Not compete (think “we” not “me”). Not talk badly about others or focus on negativity. Play games that the whole group can participate in. Make a conscious effort to feel gratitude for the people around us who love us.

Realistic optimists merely filter out unnecessary negative information. They learn to tune out negative words and occurrences and develop a habit of interpreting ambiguous situations in a more positive manner.

Our language is a choice, you see, and it’s crucial because it forms the frame through which we see the world.

The language we use is extremely powerful. It is the frame through which we perceive and describe ourselves and our picture of the world. Allan Holmgren, a well-known Danish psychologist, believes that our reality is created in the language we use. All change involves a change in language. A problem is only a problem if it is referred to as a problem.

The more we can separate the behavior from the child, the more we can change how we see her and, thus, how she sees herself. This lets her know that she is OK and that the behavior is not her destiny. Labels, as we have seen, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Children, like plants and flowers, are organic. We grow at different rates and have different needs and that's ok.

Self-deception is the worst kind of deception and is a dangerous message to send to our kids. They will learn to do the same.

Stop worrying about what others think of you and your child's behaviour. Focus on doing what is right for your children, and believe in that success.

Happiness is quality time with friends and family. Incorporate higgle to everyday life to guarantee it.

Give kids the space to learn and grow.

Let them play! The more they play, the more resilient and socially adept they will become.

Feeling connected to others gives meaning and purpose to our lives.

Happiness is quality time with friends and family. Incorporate hygge into everyday life.

Always think of your child's age. Every age has a "theme" of what can be expected from it. Children are not small adults.

Good begets good. Bad begets bad. Out of control begets out of control - and calm begets calm.

Focusing on the task, rather than overcomplimenting the child, is a much more Danish approach. This helps to focus on the work involved, but it also teaches humility. Helping children build on the feeling of being able to master a skill rather than already being a master provides a more solid foundation to stand on and grow from. This promotes inner strength and resilience.

We have to model honesty for our children and let them know that it is OK to feel all of their emotions.

Children, like pants and flowers, are organic. We grow at different rates and have different needs and that's ok.

We feel what we think.

Respect goes both ways. You have to give it to receive it.

Stop worrying about what others think of you or your child's behaviour. Focus on doing what is right for your children, and believe in that success.

With fear, the child won’t always know the real reason he shouldn’t do something; he will merely want to avoid being hurt or yelled at. This doesn’t facilitate a strong sense of core self.

I am not impressed by money, social status or job title. I am impressed by the way someone treats other human beings.

Surround yourself with friends and family who want to practice empathy and kindness. New mothers and parents are the ones who can benefit enormously from this support - we all can.

Children do the best they can, with the resources they have!

The ability to reframe negative situations is a key element to being resilient.

Reframing is directly related to the language we use – both out loud and in our head. So not only does reframing change our brain chemistry, but it helps how we interpret pain, fear, anxiety, and the like. The same goes for our children.

I am touched by your kindness and loving comments on how the messages from the Danish way of Parenting - which comes from my heart - have changed your and your children's lives. Each and every one I keep in my personal treasure chest. Your support means everything!

The concept of togetherness and hygge has so many implications but essentially it is putting yourself aside for the benefit of the whole.

Being aware of yourself and choosing your behavior is the first step towards powerful life change.

Children's play is a way to express innate, spontaneous creativity.

Give children kindness, presence, and respect to help them develop a deeper sense of empathy. The art of seeing and meeting others as they are.

Rewrite your child´s narrative to be more loving. Make a list of your child´s most negative qualities and behaviors and write them out as sentence. Try focusing on the positive side to your children´s behavior so they feel appreciated for their uniqueness rather than labeled negatively.

Many people feel afraid of really opening up and being vulnerable because they don´t want to be judged or rejected. And, in this fear, many relationships get reduced to superficialities.

We so much want social connection that we become afraid to say something that might make another person reject us. And yet, being vulnerable and having empathy are the most connecting things we can practice.

Hygge" is like a good hug - but without the physical contact.

The Danish phenomenon “hygge" is about creating an atmosphere that is warm, relaxed, friendly, close, loving, comfortable and welcoming - a state of feeling connected and loved.

Empathy and joy of life are closely connected. For most of us, deep and intense moments of happiness are often, if not always, tied to deep and intense contact with others. Training our empathetic abilities is therefore also training joy of life.

Being in touch with reality but focusing on the more positive angles is being a realistic optimist. Realistic optimists merely filter out unnecessary negative information. They learn to tune out negative words and occurrences and develop a habit of interpreting ambiguous situations in a more positive manner.

Highlight your unique and authentic perspective, and your child´s, by saying “for me” Try adding “for me” after a sentence to emphasize your understanding that your experience of a given situation isn´t necessarily the same as your child´s.

The light in a child´s eyes is all it takes to make Christmas a magical time of the year.

Every child needs to be loved in gigantic quantities and with unbelievable quality.

Listening to and expressing one´s own true thoughts and feelings is what keeps us on the right track to going after what makes us happy in life. Being honest with ourselves is how we calibrate our internal compasses to set ourselves in the right direction.

Relations are borne by the people in them, and the child-adult relationship is borne primarily by the adult. The adult is the one who can provide the qualities he or she would like it to have. Therefore we have to develop our self-accord, our contact with our inner strength and judgment.

If we give our children sound self-love, they will be able to deal with whatever life puts before them.

Lot of kids would give up any material thing in exchange for real time to spend with their family and too many relatives think a “gift” is a substitute for that time. Too many toys prevent kids from fully developing their gift of imagination and sharing a moment together with a family member or a friend is often the best we can give our children.

Science indicates that our hearts have a much greater neurological and consciousness-wise importance as partner to our brain than anyone has earlier known. If we are anchored in our hearts while in contact with our children, and in our lives in every way, our reality becomes broader and more nuanced. Parents help children build and refine their knowledge and skills, charting a trajectory for their health and wellbeing during childhood and beyond.

The experience of parenting also impacts parents themselves. For instance, parenting can enrich and give focus to parents’ lives; generate stress or calm; and create any number of emotions, including feelings of happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and anger.

If we hold onto the good in people, to separate actions from the person, we teach our children that we forgive them when they themselves misbehave. Imagine how bad your child must feel, when doing something you have burst badly out about, maybe mocked or belittled when the neighbor's daughter did the same.

When children understand what’s happening in the brain, it can be the first step to having the power to make choices. Make it fun, make it lively, and kids won’t even realize they are learning the foundations of emotional intelligence.

Daring to be more honest and vulnerable often leads to great response in others, as it can be recognized emotionally - and in this emotional resonance you create closer ties.

If you really “hygger”, you do not perform in any way. You will not be challenged, and you do not show up as “another”, than you are. It is easiest to socialize with people who know one from several sides, and appreciate them.

The most powerful way to change the world is to live our lives in front of our children the way we would like the world to be.

I believe that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.

Read all kinds of stories to your child. Don't be afraid if they don't all have happy endings. Being exposed to peaks and valleys of life encourages empathy, resilience, and feelings of meaningfulness and gratitude for our own lives.

Becoming is better than being. Perfectionism doesn’t exist. We need to stretch ourselves and continue learning.