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Days like that I feel that my mind is going 1,000,000 miles an hour, visions of the past, present, and future race through my mind. It races, like a train as if I was looking out the window of the car while it is speeding down the line. I am on a track that will never end.'
'I feel that I am going to derail from this runaway train that I am becoming. I cannot sleep at night, because of the fear inside me.'
'I feel restless, depressed, and loveless as well as not content with myself. I would have to say that my passion for life is gone; my imagination is the only thing that keeps me going.'
'I write the day's events that have gone by in my book of life of all the pastimes, while dreaming of what could have been in it, and besides what has not been in it.'
'If this does not stop, I am going to crack. I look into my mirror, and I do not see me, I see an impression of what I used to be.'
'I see my long brown hair that covers part of my face and covers my blue eyes of emotion. I see the cross around my neck that brings me confidence.'
'I hide behind a smile; I see the body in which nobody thinks is without drought flawless.'
'The bare body that is touched in all ways, yet I tried to hide behind my makeup. I gasp at my pale skin and the look of my body.'
'I am 95 pounds, really tiny; surely there is someone that would find me attractive?'
'I wonder if I can find someone who can think for themselves. I want someone who will love me, for who I am- and not what they want me to be.'
'Most importantly, I need someone that will not use me. Is that too much to ask for?'
'Fear!'
'Anxiety is something that I have inside, it is the source of the things which lead to distress. Not finding someone that loves me, for who I am, is some of my fears.'
'I fear the fact that I am most likely going to be alone forever. Another being that everyone that has meaning in my life is fading away from me it seems.'
'I fear not having a family by my side at all times. I have tears about the overwhelming struggle to rebuild my reputation, which has been destroyed.'
'I ask this question if I was to die tomorrow would anybody come to my wake, to see me lying there?'
'I fear what society has done to me. I fear that I have no trust in anyone or anything. I fear that my life has no meaning.'
'I fear that I will never get out of this hell.'
'I just want to start my life and get a degree in nursing someday from- 'The Conemaugh School of Nursing,' if I can make it through all of this. I do not think that is too much to ask for or is it?'
'I think that if I could be left alone, with the one that I want. I could have a life; you know what I am sure of it. I fear that the towering entity will never collapse, and the demons will keep playing in my head. I fear that I will never have a social ability, to be part of the nobility of compatibility.'
'I fear that the terror will never stop in these innocent lives like mine, and they will not be saved. I fear that nobody will ever see my creativity or recognize me for the good in which I do for others. I feel like I am the only one left in this world, that I call my life.'
'All the beauty in life has been dejected, and it is all ablaze around me. Yes, I fear to be in the outside realm of things.'
'I want to scream yet no one is going to hear it. I ask- am I becoming institutionalized?
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