Co Parenting With A Narcissist Quotes

The emotional abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissist is on par with the psychological and mental abuse when dealing with a psychopath or sociopath.

one of the major results of being on the receiving end of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is the development of PTSD

Don't ever talk badly about the narcissist in front of your kids. Understand the narcissist will talk badly to your kids about you. Children will learn to trust no one and be messed up forever if you don't keep them grounded. Put kids first to protect them.

It may be difficult at first but divorcing a narcissist is worth it.

Having a narcissistic parent is an early manifestation of a phenomenon termed by some as “co-narcissism.” Alan Rappoport describes this as unconsciously adapting to and supporting the narcissistic patterns of another person. He argues that this pattern starts in childhood, with the child having to adjust and calibrate to the narcissistic parent. Narcissistic parents are not tuned into their children, and the narcissistic parent largely views the child as an object with which to satisfy his or her needs. Narcissistic parents will be overly indulgent and intrusive about some things and detached and uninterested in others. Children in these situations often believe life is unpredictable and strive hard to please “unpleasable” and distracted parents. If you grow up like this, you learn that you are valued for what you did, but only if it was aligned with your parent’s wants and needs. It can be a confusing way to grow up and also the perfect set-up for accepting narcissistic behavior as “normal” and then tolerating it from a partner or in other close relationships.

Imagine the daughter of a narcissistic father as an example. She grows up chronically violated and abused at home, perhaps bullied by her peers as well. Her burgeoning low self-esteem, disruptions in identity and problems with emotional regulation causes her to live a life filled with terror. This is a terror that is stored in the body and literally shapes her brain. It is also what makes her brain extra vulnerable and susceptible to the effects of trauma in adulthood.                              Being verbally, emotionally and sometimes even physically beaten down, the child of a narcissistic parent learns that there is no safe place for her in the world. The symptoms of trauma emerge: disassociation to survive and escape her day-to-day existence, addictions that cause her to self-sabotage, maybe even self-harm to cope with the pain of being unloved, neglected and mistreated. Her pervasive sense of worthlessness and toxic shame, as well as subconscious programming, then cause her to become more easily attached to emotional predators in adulthood. In her repeated search for a rescuer, she instead finds those who chronically diminish her just like her earliest abusers. Of course, her resilience, adept skill set in adapting to chaotic environments and ability to “bounce back” was also birthed in early childhood. This is also seen as an “asset” to toxic partners because it means she will be more likely to stay within the abuse cycle in order to attempt to make things “work.” She then suffers not just from early childhood trauma, but from multiple re-victimizations in adulthood until, with the right support, she addresses her core wounds and begins to break the cycle step by step. Before she can break the cycle, she must first give herself the space and time to recover. A break from establishing new relationships is often essential during this time; No Contact (or Low Contact from her abusers in more complicated situations such as co-parenting) is also vital to the healing journey, to prevent compounding any existing traumas.

Realize that narcissists are looking for admirers, not partners. And, for your information, the admirer needs to show obedience. The only value you have for a person with NPD is someone who tells him how great he is to feed his ravenous ego. You, your feelings, and your desires don't count.

Not everything your partner is feeling must make sense to you. Learn to be compassionate even when you do not understand them. Compassion is part of being human. Acknowledging the other person's fears and insecurities does not hurt you.

narcissist may often lie yet accuse you of lying, no matter the proof you show to know he is wrong. He may feel as if everyone is out to get him, and they always get the short end of the stick, so he projects his subconscious beliefs on you by accusing you of plotting schemes against him every time there is a simple misunderstanding.

The Narcissist Will Make You Feel Worthless After hanging out with a narcissist for a while, you will notice that when you have any disagreement or argument, his first instinct is to dismiss you in a way that makes you feel worthless.

It's not easy to recognize how to handle a mentally unstable ex-partner. Many people will tell you to walk away, but sometimes it's not that easy. There may be legal obligations or shared children and family and community ties that make it challenging to leave them. If you've experienced abuse, there is the added complication that the abusive partner will often rely on you for emotional support and material support, even after they have mistreated you.

It plays in your mind like a mantra, the self-affirmation reminding you that going in the right direction will be worth it. It should be so easy—why stay with someone who has no empathy, care, or kindness towards you and wants to see you suffer? Yet, it is not as easy as it seems, hence why you need to repeat statements such as this.  It is one detail that many people don't tell you when taking steps to divorce a narcissist. You need mantras or affirmation-like statements to keep you on the course, remind you that this is in your best interests and that it will be worth it in the end. The psychological, mental, and emotional abuse and trauma you have suffered are real, and regardless of how many times you have been gaslighted or made to appear crazy, in the wrong, or losing the plot, you know the truth in the core of your cells. Being with a narcissist is entirely detrimental to your health.

You deal with an emotionally deficient individual who refuses to acknowledge his shortcomings or apologize for past mistakes, but you're also co-parenting now.

The process of co-parenting with a narcissistic ex can be challenging. It's hard for both parents to rebuild trust; it's easy for the children to question your motivations; therefore, the situation is costly, not only from lack of money going into a giant pot but also from all the therapy that needs to be done. Yet, despite the money, time, and energy to invest, it's still worth doing.

Their past traumas and experiences have crafted them into a person with such anxiety that the line between nervousness and abandonment has morphed and blurred into an individualistic focus. In that context, the admiration they are constantly seeking is due to Their inner mental conflicts rooted in a possible lonely and unloved childhood.

You may be kind, decent and a lovely human being but the narcissist will pick the tiniest negative and amplify it for their own gain (and your destruction). Be in the know and wise.

Sure, the sky is gray, and there are lots of clouds, and things aren't sunny right now. But these clouds have some silver linings, meaning something good is just around the corner. And even though it's about to rain, I'll see the rain as a force washing everything away and giving me a fresh start instead of thinking it's here to ruin everything I've worked for.

Zero Empathy It has already been mentioned but it still can’t be stressed enough. Narcissists have zero empathy, meaning that they also feel no remorse for their evil deeds. They are egocentric, never apologize, don’t know how to apologize; are expert story- tellers, present themselves as having high morals, are untruthful and manipulative, have superficial charm and an imposed sense of (false/ fake) social grace or philosophy, and feign like, love or care to get what they want. They can make themselves appear as the hero with superior morality when in reality they are evil, heartless and cold inside. An extreme narcissist truly has no shame or problem with ruining someone else’s life.