“
I’ll tell Jamison I can’t keep my life vow. He’ll help me somehow. I’ll get you the best protector in Avalon, I promise, but... it’s not me anymore.’
‘I don’t want another protector,’ laurel said, her chest feeling hollow, panicked.
‘You don’t understand,’ Tamani said, not looking at her. ‘It;s not about us; I can’t be your fear-gleidhidh... effectively. In hindsight, I should probably never even tried; if I was doing my job right, none of this would have happpened. When I-- when I thought you were dead, I went crazy. I honestly didn’t know myself. I was afraid of who I had become. I cna’t live always knowing that I could lose you at any moment; that I could feel that way again.’ He hesitated. ‘It’s too hard.’
‘No, no, Tam,’ she said, smoothing his hair, caressing his cheek. ‘You can’t, not now, not--’
‘I’m not as good as you think I am, Laurel,’ he protested, desperation filling his voice. ‘I don’t trust myself to protect you anymore.’
‘Then find someone else to fill that role if you have to,’ she said, jaw clenched, ‘but don’t leave me!’ She scooted closer and took his face in her hands, waited while he built up the courage to raise his eyelids at her. ‘Wherever we’re going to go today, I want you with me, and I never want you to leave my side again.’ His ragged breath touched on her face now, her body pulled right against his chest, feeling his essence pull on her like a magnet. ‘I don’t care if you gaurd my and protect me-- all I care is that you love me. I want you to kiss me good night mefore I go to sleep and bid me good morning the moment I wake up. And not just today; tomorrow and the next day and everyday for the rest of my life. Will you come with me Tamani? Be with me?
”
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