Cho Nam Joo Quotes

The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts and customs had not, which meant the world hadn't actually changed at all.

What do you want from us? The dumb girls are too dumb, the smart girls are too smart, and the average girls are too unexceptional?

While offenders were in fear of losing a small part of their privilege, the victims were running the risk of losing everything.

The fact that they have families and parents,” Eunsil retorted, “is why they shouldn’t do these things, not why we should forgive them.

You’re right. In a world where doctors can cure cancer and do heart transplants, there isn’t a single pill to treat menstrual cramps.’ Her sister pointed at her own stomach. ‘The world wants our uterus to be drug-free. Like sacred grounds in a virgin forest.

Jiyoung grew up being told to be cautious, to dress conservatively, to be “ladylike.” That it’s your job to avoid dangerous places, times of day and people. It’s your fault for not noticing and not avoiding.

I don’t know if I’m going to get married, or if I’m going to have children. Or maybe I’ll die before I get to do any of that. Why do I have to deny myself something I want right now to prepare for a future that may or may not come?

How can you say something so backward in this day and age? Jiyoung, don’t stay out of trouble. Run wild! Run wild, you hear me?

Some demeaned it as “bumming around at home,” while others glorified it as “work that sustains life,” but none tried to calculate its monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay.

People who pop a painkiller at the smallest hint of a migraine, or who need anaesthetic cream to remove a mole, demand that women giving birth should gladly endure the pain, exhaustion, and mortal fear. As if that’s maternal love. This idea of “maternal love” is spreading like religious dogma. Accept Maternal Love as your Lord and Savior, for the Kingdom is near!

Just as putting the care of your child in another’s hands doesn’t mean you don’t love your child, quitting and looking after your child doesn’t mean you have no passion for your career.

This was a time when the government had implemented birth control policies called “family planning” to keep population growth under control. Abortion due to medical problems had been legal for ten years at that point, and checking the sex of the fetus and aborting females was common practice, as if “daughter” was a medical problem.

I've noticed this about new employees over the years. The women take on all the cumbersome, minor tasks without being asked, while guys never do. Doesn´t matter if they're new or the youngest - they never do anything they're not told to do. But why do women simply take things upon themselves?

Jiyoung became different people from time to time. Some of them were living, others were dead, all of them women she knew. No matter how you looked at it, it wasn’t a joke or a prank. Truly, flawlessly, completely, she became that person.

You said don’t just think about what I’ll be giving up. I’m putting my youth, health, job, colleagues, social networks, career plans, and future on the line. No wonder all I can think about are the things I’m giving up. But what about you? What do you lose by gaining a child?

Help out? What is it with you and ‘helping out?’ You’re going to ‘help out’ with chores. ‘Help out’ with raising our baby. ‘Help out’ with finding me a new job. Isn’t this your house, too? Your home? Your child? And if I work, don’t you spend my pay, too? Why do you keep saying ‘help out’ like you’re volunteering to pitch in on someone else’s work?

She couldn’t picture herself at the company ten years down the road and resigned after some thought. Her boss grumbled, “This is why we don’t hire women.” She replied, “Women don’t stay because you make it impossible for us to stay.

Even the usually reasonable, sane ones verbally degrade women—even the women they have feelings for.

Frankly, it’s only natural that men remain unaware unless they encounter special circumstances as I have, because men are not the main players in childbirth and childcare.

Every field has its technological advances and evolves in the direction that reduces the amount of physical labour required, but people are particularly reluctant to admit that the same is true for domestic labor.

The world wants our uterus to be drug-free. Like sacred grounds in a virgin forest.

Her career potential and areas of interest were being limited just because she had a baby.

Many people don’t want to accept the evident fact that all difficulties in life—stagnant economy, high cost of living, adverse labor environment and so on—affect both men and women equally.

The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts, and customs had not, which meant the world hadn’t actually changed at all. She mulled over Daehyun’s idea that registering as legally married changes the way you feel about each other. Do laws and institutions change values, or do values drive laws and institutions?

The young laborers worked without adequate sleep, rest or food, thinking that was what working entailed for everyone.

¿Qué quedará al final en un mundo injusto? ¿Serán felices quienes permanezcan allí?

Her boss grumbled, “This is why we don’t hire women.” She replied, “Women don’t stay because you make it impossible for us to stay.

They say they neither set up those cameras nor took the pictures, they just saw some photos posted on a website everyone has access to, and we are treating them like sexual offenders. They distributed the pictures and were complicit in the crimes, but they don’t understand why that’s wrong. It blows

Number one on the roster was a boy, everything began with the boys, and that felt like the right, natural thing. Boys lined up first, boys led every procession no matter where they were headed, boys gave their presentations first, and boys had their homework checked first while the girls quietly waited their turn, bored, sometimes relieved that they weren’t going first, but never thinking this was a strange practice. Just as we never question why men’s national registry numbers begin with a “1” and women’s begin with a “2.

My wife is still doing the math workbooks, and I wish she’d do something more interesting. Something she’s good at, that she likes, that she really wants to do, not something she does because there’s nothing else. I wish the same for Kim Jiyoung.

Jiyoung felt she was a rock, small but heavy and unyielding, holding down her mother’s long skirt train. This made her sad. Her mother saw this and warmly swept back her daughter’s unkempt hair.

Conscientiously and calmly, she was searching for a way out that didn’t exist to begin with. Baffled and ready to give up, she was told to try, try again; to walk through walls if it came to that.

The alums are all guys. How many women have you seen at the job fairs?” The scales fell from Jiyoung’s eyes, and finally she saw. Hyejin was right. Jiyoung had made it to most job fairs or “meet the alums” events since the beginning of senior year, and she hadn’t seen a single female alumnus, at least not at any of the events she attended.

The gender pay gap in Korea is the highest among the OECD countries. According to 2014 data, women working in Korea earn only 63 percent of what men earn; the OECD average percentage is 84.13 Korea was also ranked as the worst country in which to be a working woman, receiving the lowest scores among the nations surveyed on the glass-ceiling index by the British magazine The Economist.14 8 “Repeated Protests against Tuition Increase,” Yonhap News, April 6, 2011.

I’m putting my youth, health, job, colleagues, social networks, career plans and future on the line. No wonder all I can think about are the things I’m giving up. But what about you? What do you lose by gaining a child?

She couldn’t win: exercising all the rights and utilizing the benefits made her a freeloader, and fighting tooth and nail to avoid the accusation made things harder for colleagues in a similar situation.

Claramente se arrepentía de lo que había hecho con su vida, de su condición de madre. Kim Ji-young imaginó una piedra pequeña pero pesada y dura que retenía la larga falda de su madre, y se sintió triste al identificarse con esa piedra. Su madre, percatándose de ello, acarició con ternura su cabello despeinado.

Jiyoung was standing in the middle of a labyrinth. Conscientiously and calmly, she was searching for a way out that didn't exist to begin with.

Girls don't need special treatment -- they just want the same responsibilities and opportunities. Instead of choosing the lunch menu, they want to run for president.

While offenders were in fear of losing a small part of their privilege, the victims were running the risk of losing everything

Entering high school meant a sudden expansion of her geographical and social world, which taught her that it was a wide world out there filled with perverts.

But is it right to prioritise short-term efficiency and balance sheets? Who’ll be the last ones standing in a world with these priorities, and will they be happy?

The unbelievably meager wages from working day and night, popping caffeine pills, and turning jaundiced went toward sending male siblings to school. This was a time when people believed it was up to the sons to bring honor and prosperity to the family, and that the family’s wealth and happiness hinged upon male success. The daughters gladly supported the male siblings.4

Since she became a full-time housewife, she often noticed that there was a polarised attitude regarding domestic labour. Some demeaned it as ‘bumming around at home’, while others glorified it as ‘work that sustains life’, but none tried to calculate its monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay.

she was given a string of unacceptable reasons: the company seemed to imply a preference for male students; it’s recompense for the years they lost serving in the military; they are future heads of households. The most demoralizing answer came from the department head himself: “Companies find smart women taxing. Like now—you’re being very taxing, you know?

Ridiculous, isn’t it? ‘Smart women are taxing,’ they say. And when she passes the law exam all on her own without any help from the college? They fly banners and toot horns! ‘Proud alumni!

The more their mother praised, the more impossible it became for Jiyoung to complain.

Do laws and institutions change values, or do values drive laws and institutions?

She waved him off saying she was too old to learn new things. She was thirty-five at the time.

According to reports, more than half of the women who quit their jobs are unable to find new work for more than five years.

Una mujer demasiado inteligente es una complicación para una empresa. ¡Mírate! ¿Te das cuenta de lo complicada que eres?

I don’t understand. Half the population in the world goes through this every month. If a pharmaceutical company were to develop an effective pill specifically for menstrual cramps, not the ‘pain medication’ that makes you sick, they would make a fortune.

See this here? This is Seoul. It’s just a dot. A dot. We all of us are living in this tiny, cramped dot. You may not get to see all of it, but I want you to know: it’s a wide world out there.

But in certain pivotal moments in women’s lives, the “woman” stigma reared its head to obscure their vision, stay their hands, and hold them back. The mixed signals were confusing and disconcerting.

Jiyoung grew up being told to be cautious, to dress conservatively, to be ‘ladylike’. That it’s your job to avoid dangerous places, times of day and people. It’s your fault for not noticing and not avoiding.

There were times when she had an inkling of a situation not being fair, but she was accustomed to rationalizing things by telling herself that she was being a generous older sibling and that she shared with her sister because they were both girls. Jiyoung’s mother would praise the girls for taking good care of their brother and not competing for her love. Jiyoung thought it must be the big age gap. The more their mother praised, the more impossible it became for Jiyoung to complain.

Looking at the moments and scenes in Kim Jiyoung’s life that she chose to share in our sessions, I realise that I may have diagnosed her hastily. I’m not saying I was wrong, only that I’ve come to realise there is a world that I wasn’t aware of.

Her nerves were frayed and sensitive only to the words 'We regret to inform you'; no other words or censure could hurt her.

Seungyeon always said girls don’t need special treatment—they just want the same responsibilities and opportunities.

Customers thought the right to harass young women came with their purchase.

Jiyoung discovered that she wasn’t as introverted as she’d thought she was when she didn’t have the opportunity to think, or form and express opinions. In fact, she turned out to be surprisingly friendly, sociable, and fond of being in the spotlight. And she met her first boyfriend at the college hiking club.

The job did not pay well or make a big splash in society, nor did it make something one could see or touch, but it had brought her joy. It afforded her a sense of accomplishment when she completed tasks and climbed the ladder, and gave her a sense of reward knowing she was managing her own life with the money she earned.

This was a time when the government had implemented birth control policies called ‘family planning’ to keep population growth under control. Abortion due to medical problems had been legal for ten years at that point, and checking the sex of the foetus and aborting females was common practice, as if ‘daughter’ was a medical problem.1 This went on throughout the 1980s, and in the early 1990s, the very height of the male-to-female ratio

All he wanted was to quietly close this case: It’ll ruin this company’s reputation if word gets around in the field. The accused male employees have families and parents to protect, too. Do you really want to destroy people’s lives like this? Do you want people to find out that your pictures are out there? These obviously self-serving words of absurdity flew out of the mouth of the director, who was considered to be progressive and sensible compared to his peers.

Besides, I don’t know if I’m going to get married, or if I’m going to have children. Or maybe I’ll die before I get to do any of that. Why do I have to deny myself something I want right now to prepare for a future that may or may not come?

Always warm and relaxed before he entered the army, the boyfriend was now a tightly wound coil of nerves that unraveled at the slightest provocation. The thought that he was wasting the prime years of his life made him depressed, anxious, and angry, in that order.

Aren’t you supposed to sign a contract and receive benefits after two years?” “Oh, boy. You don’t know anything about part-time work, do you? There are no part-time jobs where you sign a contract and get benefits. Start work tomorrow. Yes, sir. It’s like that. You get a verbal agreement, start working, they pay you sometimes through your bank account, sometimes through your husband’s bank account.

He’s still a baby.” “No, he’s not! I’ve been taking care of Jiyoung’s bags, school supplies, and homework since I was ten. When we were his age, we mopped the floor, hung laundry, and made ramen and fried eggs for ourselves.” “He’s the youngest.” “You mean he’s the son!

fact, according to statistics, a stay-at-home mother with a baby under the age of two has four hours and ten minutes a day to herself, and a mother who sends her baby to daycare has four hours and twenty-five minutes, which makes only a fifteen-minute difference between those two groups. This means mothers can’t rest even when they send their baby to daycare. The only difference is whether they do the housework with their baby beside them or without.19 It was a huge load off for Jiyoung that she could have a moment to focus on getting chores done.

Jiyoung felt the same way. What the teacher was doing was wrong. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong about it, but she knew that something was unjust and frustrating. But Jiyoung had a hard time voicing her complaints because she wasn’t used to expressing her thoughts.

She’s still a child. I shouldn’t have made her leave home so soon. I should have let her attend the school she really wanted. I shouldn’t have forced her to be like me. Jiyoung couldn’t tell if the mother felt sorry for her daughter or for her younger self, but she offered her words of consolation.

The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts and customs had not, which meant the world hadn’t actually changed at all. She mulled over Daehyun’s idea that registering as legally married changes the way you feel about each other. Do laws and institutions change values, or do values drive laws and institutions?

But delivery has to do with the safety of two lives. Jiyoung chose to give birth in a hospital with the help of experts because she had decided it was the safer way, and believed the birthing plan was a decision based on the parents’ values and circumstances, not something to make a value judgment on. However, a significant number of media outlets reported on the possible adverse effects of medical treatment and medication on newborns—their causal relationship speculative—to arouse guilt and fear. People who pop a painkiller at the smallest hint of a migraine, or who need anaesthetic cream to remove a mole, demand that women giving birth should gladly endure the pain, exhaustion, and mortal fear. As if that’s maternal love. This idea of “maternal love” is spreading like religious dogma. Accept Maternal Love as your Lord and Savior, for the Kingdom is near!

La madre de Kim Ji-young fue sola a abortar. En modo alguno era su decisión, pero de cualquier modo era su responsabilidad. Y a su lado no había nadie para consolarla. Mientras aullaba como un animal que hubiera perdido a su cría ante una fiera, la ginecóloga le acarició las manos y le dijo: «Lo siento». Solo eso impidió que se volviera loca allí mismo.

Even the usually reasonable, sane ones verbally degrade women – even the women they have feelings for. That’s what I am: gum someone spat out.

Onto the feelings left unsaid for so long that they were desiccated and crackling, a tiny spark of a flame fell and instantly reduced the most shining romance of youth to ashes.

You think girls don't play sports because they don't want to? We can't play because it's uncomfortable to play wearing skirts, tights, and dress shoes!

Why do I have to deny myself something I want right now to prepare for a future that may or may not come?

I'm not here to support you," Seungyeon would say, "If the club needs brightening up, get a lamp.

He offered no baseless optimism, impetuous encouragement, or the usual blaming. He let her be, helped where he could, and bought her a drink if the results were bad.

El mundo había cambiado muchísimo, pero las pequeñas reglas, los pactos y las costumbres seguían sin actualizarse.

Винуватці ризикували конкретними речами — жертви ж ризикували всім.

Every field has its technological advances and evolves in the direction that reduces the amount of physical labor required, but people are particularly reluctant to admit that the same is true for domestic labor. Since she became a full-time housewife, she often noticed that there was a polarized attitude regarding domestic labor. Some demeaned it as “bumming around at home,” while others glorified it as “work that sustains life,” but none tried to calculate its monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay.

Tell me - don't I deserve to drink a 1500-won cup of coffee? I don't care if it's 1500 won or 15 million won. It's nobody's business what I do with the money my husband made. Am I stealing from you? I suffered deathly pain having our child. My routine, my career, my dreams, my entire life, my self - I gave it all up to raise our child. And I've become vermin. What do I do now?

The woman said she was glad Jiyoung was fine, and suddenly declared, “It’s not your fault.” There were far too many crazy men in the world, she’d had her share of run-ins with these people, and the problem was with them, not with the women. Hearing this made Jiyoung cry. Trying to swallow her tears, she couldn’t say anything back. “But you know what?” the woman added. “There’s far more great guys out there.

What’s so great about being a schoolteacher?” “You get off work early. You have school vacations. It’s easy to take time off. There’s nothing like teaching for working moms.” “Sure. It’s a great job for working parents. Then isn’t it a great job for everyone? Why specifically women? Do women raise children alone? Are you going to suggest teaching to your son, too? You’re going to send him to a teacher training college, too?

Comprendía que todo lo que provenía de su abuela, desde su tono de voz, la posición de su cabeza y sus hombros hasta la respiración, emitía en conjunto un mensaje que, si bien era difícil de sintetizar en una sola frase, le recriminaba que se atreviera a codiciar lo que pertenecía a su nieto varón. Su hermano y todo lo suyo era valioso y, por tanto, no era accesible a cualquiera; y Kim Ji-young se sentía menos que cualquiera.

People who pop a painkiller at the smallest hint of a migraine, or who need anesthetic cream to remove a mole, demand that women giving birth should gladly endure the pain, exhaustion, and mortal fear. As if that’s maternal love.

Jiyoung quit the cram school. For a long time, she couldn’t go near a bus stop after dark. She stopped smiling at people, and did not make eye contact with strangers. She was afraid of all men, and she screamed sometimes when she ran into her younger brother in the stairwell. But she kept thinking about what the woman said. Not my fault. There’s far more great guys out there. If the woman hadn’t said that to her, Jiyoung would have lived in fear for even longer.

Jiyoung became different people from time to time. Some of them were living, others were dead, all of them women she knew. No matter how you looked at it, it wasn't a joke or a prank. Truly, flawlessly, completely, she became that person.

The women take on all the cumbersome, minor tasks without being asked, while guys never do. Doesn’t matter if they’re new or the youngest – they never do anything they’re not told to do. But why do women simply take things upon themselves?

She truly believed he was a decent husband to her for not sleeping around and not hitting her. Of the four sons she raised thus, Jiyoung’s father was the only one to carry out his duties as a son in her old age. Unwanted by her ungrateful children, Koh Boonsoon rationalized this sad outcome with an incoherent logic: “Still, I get to eat warm food my son made for me, and sleep under warm covers my son arranged for me because I had four sons. You have to have at least four sons.

Cuando Kim Ji-young estaba en primaria, un día su madre se quedó mirando una nota escrita por su maestra y, súbitamente, dijo: —Yo también quise ser maestra —a Kim Ji-young el comentario le pareció absurdo y se echó a reír, porque para ella su madre era su madre y nada más—. De veras. Cuando estábamos en primaria, yo era la mejor estudiante de todos mis hermanos. Incluso era mejor que tu tío mayor. —Entonces, ¿por qué no te convertiste en maestra? —Porque tuve que ganar dinero para pagar los estudios de tus tíos. Pasaba con todas. Así era la vida de las mujeres entonces. —Ahora puedes ser maestra. —Ahora tengo que ganar dinero para costear tu educación y la de tus hermanos. Pasa con todas. Así es la vida de las madres hoy en día.

You said don’t just think about what I’ll be giving up. I’m putting my youth, health, job, colleagues, social networks, career plans and future on the line. No wonder all I can think about are the things I’m giving up. But what about you? What do you lose by gaining a child?

He likes me? He picks on me because he likes me? Jiyoung was confused. She went over the series of incidents that she had suffered because of him, and still couldn’t make sense of what the teacher was saying. If you like someone, you’re friendlier and nicer to them. To friends, to family, to your pet dogs and cats. Even at the age of eight, this was common sense to Jiyoung. The desk-mate’s pranks made school life so difficult for her. What he’d put her through was awful enough, and now the teacher was making her out to be a bad child who misunderstood her friend.

She wondered if she was setting a bad precedent for the younger women in the office. She couldn’t win: exercising all the rights and utilising the benefits made her a freeloader, and fighting tooth and nail to avoid the accusation made things harder for colleagues in a similar situation.

Help out? What is it with you and "helping out"? You're going to "help out" with chores. "Help out" with raising our baby. "Help out" with finding me a new job. Isn't this your house, too? Your home? Your child? And if I work, don't you spend my pay, too? Why do you keep saying "help out" like you're volunteering to pitch in on someonelse's work?

Number one on the roster was a boy, everything began with the boys, and that felt like the right, natural thing. Boys lined up first, boys led every procession no matter where they were header, boys gave their presentations first, and boys had their homework checked first while the girls quietly waited their turn, bored, sometimes relieved that they weren't going first, but never thinking this was a strange practice.

thanks to their support, and the eldest was praised for being the responsible first-born son who brought honor to the family through his own success and provided for his family. Oh Misook and her sister realized only then that their turn would not come; their loving family would not be giving them the chance and support to make something of themselves. The two sisters belatedly enrolled in the company-affiliated school. They worked days and studied nights to earn their middle-school diploma. Oh Misook studied for her high-school certificate on her own and received her diploma the same year her younger brother became a high-school teacher. When Kim Jiyoung was in elementary school, her mother was reading a one-line comment her homeroom teacher had made on her journal assignment and said, “I wanted to be a teacher, too.” Jiyoung burst into laughter. She found the idea outrageous because she’d thought until then that mothers could only be mothers. “It’s true. In elementary, I got the best grades out of all five of us. I was better than your eldest uncle.” “So why didn’t you become a teacher?” “I had to work to send my brothers to school. That’s how it was with everyone. All women lived like that back then.” “Why don’t you become a teacher now?” “Now I have to work to send you kids to school. That’s how it is with everyone. All mothers live like this these days.

Back in the day, physicians had to go through filing cabinets to find records and write notes and prescriptions by hand. Back in the day, office clerks had to run around the office with paper reports to track down their bosses for their approval. Back in the day, farmers planted by hand and harvested with sickles. What do these people have to whine about these days? No one is insensitive enough to say that. Every field has its technological advances and evolves in the direction that reduces the amount of physical labour required, but people are particularly reluctant to admit that the same is true for domestic labour. Since she became a full-time housewife, she often noticed that there was a polarised attitude regarding domestic labour. Some demeaned it as "bumming around at home", while others glorified it as "work that sustains life", but none tried to calculate its monetary value. Probably because the moment you put a price on something, someone has to pay.