Certified Freak Quotes

I mean, how sad is it that I needed a freaking Facebook profile to tell me my boyfriend was no longer my boyfriend? As if Facebook is the official record keeper of relationships and you have to confirm all breakups and hookups with this sacred online registrar before you can consider them certified and approved.

Fast-forward about twenty years: I was in Bora Bora on vacation. I was scuba diving, and thirty or so lemon sharks started hovering around me in the water. My first thought was, Wow, this is a lot more terrifying up close and personal than it is on Discovery Channel Shark Week. My next thought was, What do I do? I know the name lemon shark sounds sweet, but look it up. They are the ugliest, most terrifying sharks, and they get up to about ten feet long. That’s big enough to take off your head in a single bite. I hadn’t signed up for a shark encounter. In fact, they didn’t tell us much about what to expect down there, and there was no training session. It was more like, “Are you certified? Okay, just jump in.” After several minutes of being stalked by this pack of predators, I was overcome by a calmness. I remember feeling the sharks brush past my head and knock into my back. I couldn’t keep my eye on all of them--they were everywhere--so I just let it be. They didn’t bother me, and I didn’t bother them. Instead, the thing that freaked me out on the dive was a harmless little suckerfish that decided to hang out in my face. Every time I turned around, he was there, stalking me.

[...]if you are hoping to damage opponents' mental health, go ahead and tell them how inferior or dim-witted or nasty they are. But even if you are certifiably right on every point, you should not think for a minute that you will ever be able to persuade them. Name-calling will make you an enemy, not an ally, and if that is your objective, then persuasion is probably not what you were after in the first place.

Are you freaking nuts?” “According to the psychiatrists, yes. Certifiably so and a danger to those around me.” Lilith’s stark announcement had them all gaping at her. Only Avion caught the sad undercurrent of her mind. Aramus guffawed. “Girl, you might be freaky, but I think you’re going to fit in just fine.

Kelly Venturini of M2M Certified put it, “Everybody wants to get connected and they don’t freaking know how to do it.

Ding! The computer sounded across the room, signaling the arrival of another e-mail. “It’s him!” Madison squeaked, spinning to look at her computer. “Listen, Piper, I can’t talk now. Blue just wrote me a note.” “Hold it! You’re hanging up on your best friend just so you can read an e-mail from some random guy named Blue?” Piper huffed. “You don’t really know anything about him. And he could be making all sorts of stuff up.” “He’s nice,” Madison protested. “Oh, yeah? What if you find out that ‘Blue’ is actually Leonard Watkins, number one freak-a-zoid at EHS?” Madison winced at the thought. Leonard was certainly strange to look at--barely five feet tall, with oversized glasses, bad skin, and hair that looked like steel wool. But that was just looks. “Maybe Leonard is a nice guy. I know he lurks around the halls humming to himself, but you know, if he really was ‘Blue,” I’d give him a chance.” “You’re certifiably insane,” Piper declared, “You have all these guys at Evergreen High drooling over you and you fall for some unknown named Blue. Hmm…I that’s the way to get guys, maybe I’d better hang up and check my e-mail. Some maniac named Lemon Yellow could have sent me a letter that will change my life.” “Go for it, Piper!” Madison chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Okay,” Piper said. “Although I may have eloped to Vancouver with Lemon Yellow by then.

It’s unrideable, a certified freak, and you know feathertails are useless in combat. They refuse to fight.

a certified freak,