Carrots Funny Quotes

Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot ‘What, in Ankh-Morpork?’ ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value

When you’re eating your supper, you can look down at your plate and say, my, that’s a fine-looking carrot, and you’ll think of me.” “I don’t want to think of you when I look at a damn carrot.

Konstance is old enough to understand that Father’s farm is unlike the other three: those spaces are tidy and systematic, while Farm 4 is a tangle of wires and sensors, grow-racks skewed at every angle, individual trays crowded with different species, creeping thyme beside radishes beside carrots. Long white hairs sprout from Father’s ears; he’s at least two decades older than the other children’s fathers; he’s always growing inedible flowers just to see what they look like and muttering in his funny accent about compost tea. He claims he can taste whether a lettuce has lived a happy life; he says one sniff of a properly grown chickpea can whisk him three zillion kilometers back to the fields who grew up in Scheria.

Her hands felt their way blindly along the ridges and canyons and defiles of the spine, the firm root-spread hillocks of the withers. She rolled her bony knuckles all along the fallen tree of scar tissue at the crest of the back, prying up its branches, loosening its teeth. And it must be having some effect: when she walked Pelter these days he wasn't the sour fellow he used to be, he was sportive, even funny. She had walked him this morning until the rising sun snagged in the hackberry thicket. As they swung around the barn, she took a carrot from her pocket and gave him the butt and noisily toothed the good half herself. He curvetted like a colt, squealed, and cow-kicked alarmingly near her groin. Okay, okay, she said, and handed it over. She was glad there was no man around just then to tell her to show that horse who was boss. When they were back in the stall and she turned to leave, she found he had taken he whole raincoat in his mouth and was chewing it--the one she was wearing. She twisted around with difficulty and pried it out of his mouth. He eyed her ironically. Just between us, is this the sort of horse act I really ought to discipline? she asked him, smoothing out her coat. I simply incline to your company, he replied.

Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef. His companion had less stew in his hair, but an equally large lump was rising fast, and Brandark flipped his improvised club into the air, caught it in proper dipping position, and filled it once more from the pot without even glancing at them. He raised the ladle to his nose, inhaled deeply, and glanced at the cook with an impudent twitch of his ears. "Smells delicious," he said while the laughter started up all around the fire. "I imagine a bellyful of this should help a hungry man sleep. Why, just look what a single ladle of it did for Shergahn!

We're in her bedroom,and she's helping me write an essay about my guniea pig for French class. She's wearing soccer shorts with a cashmere sweater, and even though it's silly-looking, it's endearingly Meredith-appropriate. She's also doing crunches. For fun. "Good,but that's present tense," she says. "You aren't feeding Captain Jack carrot sticks right now." "Oh. Right." I jot something down, but I'm not thinking about verbs. I'm trying to figure out how to casually bring up Etienne. "Read it to me again. Ooo,and do your funny voice! That faux-French one your ordered cafe creme in the other day, at that new place with St. Clair." My bad French accent wasn't on purpose, but I jump on the opening. "You know, there's something,um,I've been wondering." I'm conscious of the illuminated sign above my head, flashing the obvious-I! LOVE! ETIENNE!-but push ahead anyway. "Why are he and Ellie still together? I mean they hardly see each other anymore. Right?" Mer pauses, mid-crunch,and...I'm caught. She knows I'm in love with him, too. But then I see her struggling to reply, and I realize she's as trapped in the drama as I am. She didn't even notice my odd tone of voice. "Yeah." She lowers herself slwoly back to the floor. "But it's not that simple. They've been together forever. They're practically an old married couple. And besides,they're both really...cautious." "Cautious?" "Yeah.You know.St. Clair doesn't rock the boat. And Ellie's the same way. It took her ages to choose a university, and then she still picked one that's only a few neighborhoods away. I mean, Parsons is a prestigious school and everything,but she chose it because it was familiar.And now with St. Clair's mom,I think he's afraid to lose anyone else.Meanwhile,she's not gonna break up with him,not while his mom has cancer. Even if it isn't a healthy relationship anymore." I click the clicky-button on top of my pen. Clickclickclickclick. "So you think they're unhappy?" She sighs. "Not unhappy,but...not happy either. Happy enough,I guess. Does that make sense?" And it does.Which I hate. Clickclickclickclick. It means I can't say anything to him, because I'd be risking our friendship. I have to keep acting like nothing has changed,that I don't feel anything ore for him than I feel for Josh.

Yes. I'm going to talk to her. Maybe." Kristoff huffed. "You, Bulda, Grand Pabbie... you act like this is so easy! They may be so-called love experts, but they've never left the valley." Sven snorted. "Hi," Anna interrupted, feeling funny. She was suddenly very aware of how she looked, and how he did, too. Kristoff had on a bright blue dress shirt and clean pants. She was wearing a green dress under a flour-and-icing-covered apron. Her braids, which she'd had in for two days, needed refreshing. "Were you looking for me? I mean, not actually looking, but you're here, so maybe... you're hungry?" He immediately blushed. "What? Yes. I mean, no. I..." He pressed a bunch of carrots into her hands. "I just wanted to give you what I owed you." "Oh." Anna looked down. "You didn't have to bring me back- oof!" Sven had bumped into Anna, sending her flying into Kristoff's arms. The two tumbled backward, falling onto several stacks of flour Anna's parents hadn't had a chance to bring into the shop yet. "This is awkward," Anna said, struggling to get up. 'Not because you're awkward. Because we're... I'm... awkward." She stood up. "You're gorgeous. Wait, what?

The chicken was good. Melissa made it, with carrots and potatoes, while Mom fiddled with the radio, made a salad, set the table, and said she was learning so much. Lizette said the chicken was almost as good as Mom’s lasagna. Mom looked at me, and we both started laughing. “What?” Lizette kept saying. “What?” But we wouldn’t tell her. — After dinner, Mom pushed her plate away, looked at Melissa, and said, “I got Dan’s wedding invitation.” “Got mine, too,” Melissa said. “We did, too!” Lizette said. She sounded way happier about it than Mom did, but Lizette didn’t notice. She started telling them all about the cake her grandma was planning. “That reminds me,” Melissa said. “I brought brownies!” Then Lizette and I looked at each other and laughed, because of all the cake we’d eaten before dinner. It was Mom’s turn to say, “What’s so funny? What?” But we wouldn’t tell her. We ate the brownies. And then we taught Melissa about dance-party cleanup. — When Lizette and Melissa were gone, the apartment felt really quiet. I kept trying to get Red to jump onto my bed, but he wouldn’t, and I gave up. The wedding was in five weeks. Mission had not sent back the little card saying he would come. I emailed Sonia before I went to bed.

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,’ said Carrot 'What, in Ankh-Morpork?’ Yes, sir.’ ‘We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value

Bailey sat on the edge of the couch and fed Maddy grapes. The very swollen mommy-to-be initially complained about being fed like a pet. Eventually, she gave in and enjoyed the attention. Not to be outdone, Sawyer turned a fan towards Maddy and was painting her nails. I watched them baby her and wondered about when I would be that big and uncomfortable. “I’m in no hurry to have a baby,” Tawny said, maybe for the tenth time since arriving. “Not in any hurry at all.” Farah grinned from where she was cutting carrots into little perfect sticks for dipping. “Coop is obsessed with getting me pregnant. First, his little brother is about to have a baby then his best friend. I swear whenever we’re alone, he’s inside me,” she said then her smile grew. “It’s awesome.” “Huh,” Tawny muttered. “Judd is in me all the time too and not because he’s trying to plant his flag or lay his seed or whatever.” “Jealous?” Farah asked and Tawny fake glared at her. “Sometimes, my sister irritates me too,” I said and they both laughed. “I’m going to brush the baby’s hair,” Bailey announced to no one in particular. “When she’s old enough, I’m going to put those little barrettes in her hair and make her wear headbands and turn her into a doll. Then when she cries, I’m giving her back to Maddy.” “Yeah for me,” Maddy whispered with her eyes closed. “Are you suffering?” Bailey asked. “Like should I do more for you to ease away the horror of how huge you’ve become?” Opening her eyes a crack, Maddy muttered, “Stop charming me.” Bailey grinned. “Seriously, you look pretty miserable today.” “I’ve been having those Braxton Hicks contractions since yesterday.” “Is that bad?” Sawyer asked, looking up from her meticulous work on Maddy’s toes. “Is it like hemorrhoids?” When we laughed, Sawyer beamed, even though she likely had no idea what was funny. “They’re like practice contractions,” Maddy explained. “They don’t hurt much, but they’re uncomfortable.” Bailey frowned. “How do you know all this stuff?” “I read a book.” “Yeah, I did that once. Not a fan.” “You guys don’t have to hang out here,” Maddy said. “The guys are out having fun and you’re pampering me. You could go to the movies if you want.” “No,” Bailey said quickly. “I need to be super nice because I had a dream that being nice will lead to a handsome awesome guy who is the fucker. I want that guy. He belongs to me and I’m sick of waiting, so shut up and let me be nice to you.” “Sure,” Maddy said, sighing. “This is nice, but I’m going to have to pee soon.” “Do you need me to carry you?” Bailey asked. “Maybe. Ask me in a few minutes.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A: A carrot!

How do you make gold soup? A: Put 14 carrots in it!

Funny thing," said Cohen, "but I heard tell once that down in Ankh-Morpork there's some watchman who's really heir to the throne but keeps quiet about it because he likes being a watchman ..." Oh dear, thought the Horde. Kings in disguise ... that was Code material, right there. Carrot met Cohen's gaze. "Never heard of him," he said. "To die for forty-three dollars a month," said Cohen, holding the gaze, "a man's got to be very, very stupid or very, very brave ...

(Verse 1) Well, I built me a snowman, out in the yard, But the sun came out, and it hit him hard. So I brought him inside, to keep him cool, Now he’s chillin’ in the basement, like a frosty fool. (Chorus) He’s a snowman in the basement, sippin’ on ice tea, Watchin’ reruns of “Friends” on my old TV. He’s got a carrot nose and a smile so bright, But he’s meltin’ my heart, every day and night. (Verse 2) He’s got a cowboy hat and a flannel shirt, But he’s leavin’ puddles, all over the dirt. My dog thinks he’s funny, my cat’s in a huff, But this snowman’s got charm, and that’s enough. (Chorus) He’s a snowman in the basement, sippin’ on ice tea, Watchin’ reruns of “Friends” on my old TV. He’s got a carrot nose and a smile so bright, But he’s meltin’ my heart, every day and night. (Bridge) Neighbors think I’m crazy, but I don’t care, Got a snowman in the basement, and he’s always there. When the world gets tough, and I need a friend, I just head down to the basement, and chill with him again. (Chorus) He’s a snowman in the basement, sippin’ on ice tea, Watchin’ reruns of “Friends” on my old TV. He’s got a carrot nose and a smile so bright, But he’s meltin’ my heart, every day and night. (Outro) So if you’re feelin’ lonely, and need a laugh, Just build you a snowman, and take a bath. In the cool, cool basement, where the snowmen play, You’ll find a frosty friend, to brighten your day.

I can ask her,” I said slowly. “But I’m pretty sure she’s hooking up with someone later…” “Who?” Max demanded and Darcy caught my eye in confusion. I twitched my lips in amusement, and she caught on, quickly adding to my lie with one of her own. “Oh yeah, she’s been seeing one of the servants,” Darcy said enthusiastically. “She said she’s never had someone rock her coconuts like he can…” Max’s mouth fell open as he stared around at the wait staff who were coming and going in outrage. “Bullshit,” he snarled. “Some fucking waiter is not better in the sack than me.” I snorted a laugh and Darcy smirked into her carrots. “Is it that guy over there?” Max demanded and I followed his arm to a huge waiter who was carrying four trays at once and making it look easy. “No, but he’s hot,” I agreed, checking him out. “Maybe I should ask him to come and fluff my pillows later…” “I can do that for you if you need help with it,” Caleb piped up and Darius set his glass down hard enough to rattle the cutlery. I glanced at him in surprise, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was scowling at the hot waiter who seemed to notice and promptly left the room. “Is it that guy?” Max demanded, pointing out another stacked waiter. Is that some kind of requirement for working here or something? ‘Wait staff needed, previous experience preferred, thick thighs appreciated and stacked abs a plus…’ “No. It’s him,” Darcy said, and I smirked as she pointed out one of the smallest guys in the room who just so happened to be about twenty years older than us too. “Fuck off,” Max said in denial. “There’s no way she’d trade me in for him!” “She said he’s got hidden talents,” I added with a wink. “Yeah,” Darcy agreed. “And a huge-” Max pushed himself to his feet with his gaze locked on the poor waiter and me and Darcy both burst into laughter. “You’re joking?” Seth asked in amusement as Max lowered himself back into his chair with a frown and Caleb barked a laugh. “That wasn’t funny,” he groaned. “Yeah, it was,” Caleb disagreed. “Cut him a break,” Darius said, leaning back in his chair while his eyes glimmered with mirth. “It’s hard when the girl you like won’t give you the time of day. One minute he thought they were all on then the next she’s back to ignoring him and hating him and…” He trailed off as we all looked at him and his gaze slid over me. “And he doesn’t need us laughing at him too,” he finished slowly.

Pip's parents were currently at the super-market; her mom had texted to let her know. She'd avoided them all day, and Josh had gone with them, so he was bound to cause some delay with all his impulse buying (last time he'd persuaded Dad to buy two bags of carrot sticks, which went to waste when he remembered he didn't actually like carrots).

Q: How do you make gold soup? A: Put 14 carrots in it!