Byron Katie Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Byron Katie. Here they are! All 200 of them:

It's not your job to like me - it's mine
Byron Katie
Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don't have to like it... it's just easier if you do.
Byron Katie
As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Don't believe every thing you think.
Byron Katie
All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.
Byron Katie
Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them
Byron Katie
Our parents, our children, our spouses, and our friends will continue to press every button we have, until we realize what it is that we don't want to know about ourselves, yet. They will point us to our freedom every time.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
When they attack you and you notice that you love them with all your heart, your Work is done.
Byron Katie
Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened that didn't need to happen.
Byron Katie
all the advice you ever gave your partner is for you to hear
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change The World: Quotations from Byron Katie)
Peace doesn't require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it—that you are it.
Byron Katie
The miracle of love comes to you in the presence of the uninterpreted moment. If you are mentally somewhere else, you miss real life.
Byron Katie
Don't be careful. You could hurt yourself.
Byron Katie
When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.
Byron Katie
You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer".
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
When you srgue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.
Byron Katie
If you put your hand into a fire, does anyone have to tell you to move it? Do you have to decide? No: When your hand starts to burn, it moves. You don’t have to direct it; the hand moves itself. In the same way, once you understand, through inquiry, that an untrue thought causes suffering, you move away from it.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Being present means living without control and always having your needs met.
Byron Katie (On Work And Money (Volume 3))
An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.
Byron Katie
You are your only hope, because we're not changing until you do. Our job is to keep coming at you, as hard as we can, with everything that angers, upsets, or repulses you, until you understand. We love you that much, whether we're aware of it or not. The whole world is about you.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
How do you react when you think you need people's love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Do you live an inauthentic life because you can't bear the thought that they might disapprove of you? Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon? In fact, you never really get their love. You turn into someone you aren't, and then when they say "I love you," you can't believe it, because they're loving a facade. They're loving someone who doesn't even exist, the person you're pretending to be. It's difficult to seek other people's love. It's deadly. In seeking it, you lose what is genuine. This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.
Byron Katie
We don't attach to people or to things; we attach to uninvestigated concepts that we believe to tbe true in the moment.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
In my experience, we don't make thoughts appear, they just appear. One day, I noticed that their appearance just wasn't personal. Noticing that really makes it simpler to inquire.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
I love what I think, and I'm never tempted to believe it.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Isn’t it marvelous to discover that you’re the one you’ve been waiting for? That you are your own freedom?
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Whatever it takes for you to find your freedom, that's what you've lived.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
The only way I can be angry at you is when I have thought, said, or done something that is unkind in my own opinion.
Byron Katie
We’re all looking for love, in our confusion, until we find our way back to the realization that love is what we already are.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Life is so simple: We walk; we sit; we lie horizontal. That's about it. Everything else is a story about what's going on while we're doing it.
Byron Katie (Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie)
You can argue with the way things are. You’ll lose, but only 100% of the time. —BYRON KATIE
Toni Bernhard (How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers)
Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing has ever happened that didn't need to happen.
Byron Katie
There is nothing that isn't true if you believe it; and nothing is true, believe it or not.
Byron Katie
You’re just suffering from the belief that there’s something missing from your life. In reality, you always have what you need.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
The world is your perception of it. Inside and outside always match - they're reflections of each other. The world is a mirror image of your mind.
Byron Katie (A Friendly Universe: Sayings to Inspire and Challenge You)
When I am perfectly clear, what is is what I want.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
It is easy to be swept away by some overwhelming feeling, so it’s helpful to remember that any stressful feeling is like a compassionate alarm clock that says, “You’re caught in the dream.” Depression, pain, and fear are gifts that say, “Sweetheart, take a look at your thinking right now. You’re living in a story that isn’t true for you.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn’t ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector—mind—rather than the projected. It’s like when there’s a piece of lint on a projector’s lens. We think there’s a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whomever the flaw appears on next. But it’s futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.
Byron Katie
I often say that if I had a prayer, it would be this: God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen. I
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—your own thinking coming back at you.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Every problem perceived to be 'out there' is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.
Byron Katie
There’s only one thing harder than accepting this, and that is not accepting it.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
You're either attaching to your thoughts or inquiring. There's no other choice.
Byron Katie
Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be caused by another person. No one outside me can hurt me. That's not a possibility. It's only when I believe a stressful thought that I get hurt. And I'm the one who's hurting me by believing what I think. This is very good news, because it means that I don't have to get someone else to stop hurting me. I'm the one who can stop hurting me. It's within my power. What we are doing with inquiry is meeting our thoughts with some simple understanding, finally. Pain, anger, and frustration will let us know when it's time to inquire. We either believe what we think or we question it: there's no other choice. Questioning our thoughts is the kinder way. Inquiry always leaves us as more loving human beings.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
If you think he's supposed to be different from what he is, you don't love him. In that moment you love who he's going to be when you're through manipulating him. He is a throwaway until he matches your image of him.
Byron Katie (A Friendly Universe: Sayings to Inspire and Challenge You)
Thinking that people are supposed to do or be anything other than what they are is like saying that the tree over there should be the sky. I investigated that and found freedom.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don’t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Because if it hurts, it's your thinking that's hurting you.
Byron Katie (Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie)
I've always been just me, but I was the last to know that it was all right.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
The teacher you need is the person you're living with.
Byron Katie (A Friendly Universe: Sayings to Inspire and Challenge You)
I don’t know what’s best for me or you or the world. I don’t try to impose my will on you or on anyone else. I don’t want to change you or improve you or convert you or help you or heal you. I just welcome things as they come and go. That’s true love. The best way of leading people is to let them find their own way.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with now.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
God’s will and your will are the same, whether you notice it or not. There’s no mistake in the universe. It’s not possible to have the concept “mistake” unless you’re comparing what is with what isn’t. Without the story in your mind, it’s all perfect. No mistake.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
No one will ever understand you. Realizing this is freedom. No one will ever understand you—not once, not ever. Even at our most understanding, we can only understand our story of who you are. There’s no understanding here except your own.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Inquiry doesn’t have a motive. It doesn’t teach a philosophy. It’s just investigation.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
And when people die, it’s so wonderful that they never come back to tell you.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Whenever you mentally oppose what is, you’re going to experience sadness and apparent separation. There’s no sadness without a story. What is is. You are it.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Sadness is always a sign that you’re believing a stressful thought that isn’t true for you. It’s a constriction, and it feels bad. Conventional wisdom says differently, but the truth is that sadness isn’t rational, it isn’t a natural response, and it can’t ever help you. It just indicates the loss of reality, the loss of the awareness of love. Sadness is the war with what is. It’s a tantrum. You can experience it only when you’re arguing with God. When the mind is clear, there isn’t any sadness. There can’t be.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
I love not rushing the process. Mind doesn’t shift until it does, and when it does shift, it’s right on time, not one second too late or too soon. People are just like seeds waiting to sprout. We can’t be pushed ahead of our own understanding. To
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
The reason I love rules and plans and religions is that people feel safe in them for a while. And, personally, I don't have any rules. I don't need them. There's a sense of order that goes on all the time as things move and change, and I am that harmony, and so are you. Not knowing is the only way to understand... Meanings, rules, the whole world of right and wrong, are secondary at best. I understand how some people think they need to live by rules...It's very frightening for them to watch the world unfolding in apparent chaos and not realize that the chaos itself is God in his infinite intelligence.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Thoughts are like the breeze or the leaves on the trees or the raindrops falling. They appear like that, and through inquiry we can make friends with them. Would you argue with a raindrop? Raindrops aren’t personal, and neither are thoughts. Once a painful concept is met with understanding, the next time it appears you may find it interesting. What used to be the nightmare is now just interesting. The next time it appears, you may find it funny. The next time, you may not even notice it. This is the power of loving what is.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
When you realize that every stressful moment you experience is a gift that points you to your own freedom, life becomes very kind.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Self-realization is the sweetest thing. It shows us how we are fully responsible for ourselves, and that is where we find our freedom.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
That’s what inquiry is for, to break through stressful mythology. These
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Dying is everything they were looking for in life.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Love the world as your self; then you can care for all things.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
The receiving is the giving. It’s the most genuine thing you can give back. That’s what they wanted to give you in the first place.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
We all do emotional gymnastics to be seen as wonderful or funny—just to get what we already have. And because we’re doing the gymnastics, we don’t see that we already have it.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
The mind’s job is to prove what it thinks is true…” – Byron Katie
Bradford Sullivan (How to Make $1,000 Per Day Clear Profit on Amazon with One Single $35 Product You Choose: - and - How to Become an After-Tax Cash Millionaire in 3 Simple ... Make Money on the Internet, Small Business))
Byron Katie says, “We don’t attach to people or things, we attach to uninvestigated concepts that we believe to be true in the moment.
Jen Sincero (You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life)
Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it—it’s just easier if you do.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Everyone is doing his job. No one is more valuable than another. The things in the world that we think are so terrible are actually great teachers. There’s no mistake, and there’s nothing lacking. We’re always going to get what we need, not what we think we need. Then we come to see that what we need is not only what we have, it’s what we want. Then we come to want only what is. That way we always succeed, whatever happens.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
     Romantic love is the story of how you need another person to complete you. It’s an absolutely insane story. My experience is that I need no one to complete me. As soon as I realize that, everyone completes me.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it.
Byron Katie
Katie: We live; we die. Always right on time, not one moment sooner or later than
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
The unquestioned mind is the world of suffering.
Byron Katie
Heaven: “This is wonderful. I could stay here forever.” Hell: “This is not quite perfect.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
When you’re seeking love and approval, many thoughts are aimed at deciphering the behavior of the people you care about, or theorizing about what’s going on in their minds.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
This is true freedom: a mind that is no longer deceived by itself. Ruth:
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
I already please everyone, and I already have everyone’s approval, though I don’t expect them to realize it yet.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
A thought is harmless until we believe it. It’s not our thoughts but our attachment to our thoughts that causes suffering.” – Byron Katie
Aletheia Luna (Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing)
I was at a Byron Katie seminar once when I heard her say something I never forgot. She said, “Do you know what I love most about the past? It’s over!
Steve Chandler (How to Get Clients: New Pathways to Coaching Prosperity)
Byron Katie says, “I could only find three kinds of business in the world - mine, yours, and God’s. Whose business are you in?
Kevin Horsley (Unlimited Memory: How to Use Advanced Learning Strategies to Learn Faster, Remember More and be More Productive (Mental Mastery, #1))
Peace and joy naturally, inevitably, and irreversibly make their way into every corner of your mind, into every relationship and experience. The process is so subtle that you may not even have any conscious awareness of it. You may only know that you used to hurt and now you don’t.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
There’s no reason to believe that thoughts match reality. As you move through life, thoughts appear like shots in the dark. They are no more than vague attempts to figure out what’s going on around and inside you. When you’re seeking love and approval, many thoughts are aimed at deciphering the behavior of the people you care about, or theorizing about what’s going on in their minds.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
The Work is merely four questions; it’s not even a thing. It has no motive, no strings. It’s nothing without your answers. These four questions will join any program you’ve got and enhance it. Any religion you have—they’ll enhance it. If you have no religion, they will bring you joy. And they’ll burn up anything that isn’t true for you. They’ll burn through to the reality that has always been waiting.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Byron Katie says, “I could only find three kinds of business in the world - mine, yours, and God’s. Whose business are you in?” You become more relaxed when you decide to take up residence in your own mind and your own business.
Kevin Horsley (Unlimited Memory: How to Use Advanced Learning Strategies to Learn Faster, Remember More and be More Productive (Mental Mastery, #1))
Flirtation, seduction, falling in love, and the whole romantic realm take place in a dreamy, trancelike state, alternating between hope and fear. One minute you think you may be rejected; the next minute you’re excited about succeeding.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity. There’s a natural balance in things. If you go too far to one extreme, life kindly brings you back toward the center. What goes up must come down, and what comes down must go up. Up and down are different aspects of the same thing. So are inside and outside. Most people think that the world is outside them. They live life backward, running after security and approval, as if by making enough money or getting enough praise they could be happy once and for all. But nothing outside us can give us what we’re really looking for. I do my work and don’t even need to step back from it, because it never belonged to me in the first place. Nothing belongs to me. Everything comes and goes. Serenity is an open door.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
If your happiness depends on your children being happy, that makes them your hostages. So stay out of their business, stop using them for your happiness, and be your own happiness. And that way you are the teacher for your children: someone who knows how to live a happy life.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
And have you also noticed that it’s hopeless to dictate people’s awareness or behavior? So let’s turn it around. She loves you, but she may not know it yet, and that lack of awareness is very painful. I am very clear that the whole world loves me. I just don’t expect them to realize it yet. [The audience laughs.]
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
When I listened within myself I saw that the world is what it is – nothing more, nothing less. Where reality is concerned, there is no “what should be.” There is only what is, just the way it is, right now. The truth is prior to every story. And every story, prior to investigation, prevents us from seeing what’s true.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Every time you try to change someone, you are trying to change someone that doesn’t exist. They only exist in your head. People are who you believe them to be.
Byron Katie
If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.
Byron Katie
The irony is that the struggle to win love and approval makes it very difficult to experience them. Chronic
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything else is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Seeking comfort, you give yourself discomfort.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
We don't hear what someone said; we imagine what they meant.
Byron Katie
Everyone is a mirror image of yourself— your own thinking coming back at you.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
No one outside me can hurt me. That’s not a possibility. It’s only when I believe a story that I get hurt.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
How do I know I don't need what I want? I don't have it.
Byron Katie
Problems can exist only in a past or future.
Byron Katie
It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem.
Byron Katie
Whatever you get is what you need.
Byron Katie
There are no mistakes.
Byron Katie
If I believe I need something I don’t have I’m insane.
Byron Katie
Whatever happens is the best thing that could happen.
Byron Katie
We’re all five-year-olds. We don’t know how to do this thing called life. We’re just learning how.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
Your story is your identity, and you’d do almost anything to prove that it’s true. Inquiry into self is the only thing that has the power to penetrate such ancient concepts. Even
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Reality doesn’t wait for our agreement or approval. It is what it is. You can count on it. Gary:
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
In reality, the pain we feel about a past event is created in the present,
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? 3. How do you react when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought?
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
You can argue with reality all you want, or you can stop arguing long enough to understand it and be free.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
Atheist, agnostic, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, pagan—we all have one thing in common: we want happiness and peace.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
The most powerful spiritual practice is to hang out with the people who criticize you. You don’t even have to do that physically, since they live right here in your head.
Byron Katie
Is it true?        2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?        3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?        4. Who would you be without the thought?
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
To make amends” means to right the perceived wrong. What I call “living amends” is more far-reaching. It applies not only to one particular incident but to all future incidents of that kind.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
The basic realization that other people can’t possibly be your problem, that it’s your thoughts about them that are the problem—this realization is huge. This one insight will shake your whole world, from top to bottom
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work.
Byron Katie (The Work of Byron Katie: An Introduction)
Everything in the world is doing its job. The ceiling sits on the walls, the walls sit on the floor, the curtains are hanging in front of the windows; they’re all doing their jobs. But when you tell yourself a story about how reality is supposed to look, you end up arguing with the ceiling or the wall, and it’s hopeless. It’s like trying to teach a cat to bark. The cat won’t ever cooperate. “No, no,” you may tell it, “you don’t understand. You should bark. It would be so much better for you if you barked. Besides, I really need you to bark. As a matter of fact, I’m going to devote the rest of my life to teaching you how to bark.” And many years later, after all your sacrifice and devotion, the cat looks up at you and says, “Meow.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
That’s like saying, “May my will be done, not God’s will,” rather than realizing, deeply, that God’s will is your will at every moment. It’s trying to get what you want, rather than wanting what you have, which is the only way you can ever be happy.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
I wasn’t always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn’t so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we’re all doing the best we can.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
And that goes not only for mothers but for every human being you haven’t forgiven yet. Every human being, every cat, dog, tree, thing—to be separate from anyone or anything goes against your heart. The only time those people or things are not okay is when you believe they’re not.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
How? It starts by saying “no.” Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person or a mean parent. “No” isn’t a four-letter word. It doesn’t make you a bad employee or selfish. Byron Katie says sometimes, saying “no” to people or projects is actually saying a great big “yes” to yourself. When is the last time you said “no” to reclaim your sanity and serenity? Boundaries aren’t comfortable when you first start setting them. But they’re like the drain plug in Grandpa’s old boat: if you neglect them, you’ll take on more responsibility and pressure than you can possibly keep afloat.
Steve Austin (Catching Your Breath: The Sacred Journey from Chaos to Calm)
What is an example that will prove that you aren’t lovable? Rejection? If someone rejects you—and he could only do that because you don’t match his beliefs about how he wants the world to be—it has nothing to do with you. Only an inflated ego could say that it had anything to do with you.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
When you ask “Is it true?” for example, you may not really want to know. It could be that you’d rather stay with your statement than dive into the unknown. Blocking means rushing the process and answering with your conscious mind before the gentler polarity of mind (I call it “the heart”) can answer.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Love is what you are already. Love doesn’t seek anything. It’s already complete. It doesn’t want, doesn’t need, has no shoulds. It already has everything it wants, it already is everything it wants, just the way it wants it. So when I hear people say that they love someone and want to be loved in return, I know they’re not talking about love. They’re talking about something else. Sometimes you may seem to trade love for the stressful thought appearing in the moment. It’s a little trip out into illusion. Seeking love is how you lose the awareness of love. But you can only lose the awareness of it, not the state. That’s not an option, because love is what we all are. That’s immovable. When you investigate your stressful thinking and your mind becomes clear, love pours into your life, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Love joins everything, without condition. It doesn’t avoid the nightmare; it looks forward to it and then inquires. There is no way to join except to get free of your belief that you want something from your partner. That’s true joining. It’s like “Bingo! You just won the lottery!” If I want something from my partner, I simply ask. If he says no and I have a problem with that, I need to take a look at my thinking. Because I already have everything. We all do. That’s how I can sit here so comfortably: I don’t want anything from you that you don’t want to give. I don’t even want your freedom if you don’t. I don’t even want your peace. The truth that you experience is how I’m able to join with you. That’s how you touch me, and you touch me so intimately that it brings tears to my eyes. I’ve joined you, and you don’t have a choice. And I do this over and over and over, endlessly, effortlessly. It’s called making love. Love wouldn’t deny a breath. It wouldn’t deny a grain of sand or a speck of dust. It is totally in love with itself, and it delights in acknowledging itself through its own presence, in every way, without limit. It embraces it all, everything from the murderer and the rapist to the saint to the dog and cat. Love is so vast within itself that it will burn you up. It’s so vast that there’s nothing you can do with it. All you can do is be it.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
I’m supposed to sleep at three o’clock in the morning”—is that true? I don’t think so: I’m wide awake. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I get very excited. What could be better than sleep? Waking! I love lying in bed in the middle of the night with my eyes wide open, because that’s what I’m doing. There’s no thought that I should be doing anything else. I love all my thoughts.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
When you stay out of your family’s business, they notice that you have your stuff together and that you’re happy, so they start to follow. You’ve taught them everything they know, and now they begin to learn again. And that’s what happened with my children; they just don’t see a lot of problems anymore, because in the presence of someone who doesn’t have a problem, they can’t hold on to one.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
When my children ask me what they should do, I say, “I don’t know, honey.” Or, “Here’s what I did in a similar situation, and it worked for me. And you can always know that I’m here to listen and that I’m always going to love you, whatever decision you make. You’ll know what to do. And also, sweetheart, you can’t do it wrong. I promise you that.” I finally learned to tell my children the truth.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
It’s not up to my employees to accomplish what I want; it’s up to me. I’m the boss. And the reason that firing you is so kind is that I’ve just released you from a torture chamber and allowed you to move into a space where you are qualified. And because of my clarity and kindness, the position is open for the right person to move into it. Anything less than that is masochism: it’s unkind to you and to me.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be caused by another person. No one outside you can hurt you. That’s not possible. Only when you believe a story about them can you be hurt. So you’re the one who’s hurting yourself. This is very good news, because it means that you don’t have to get someone else to stop hurting you or to change in any way. You’re the one who can stop hurting you. You’re the only one.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
He is just like everyone else, except that he no longer believes that in this moment things should be different than they are. Therefore in all circumstances he remains at ease in the world, is efficient without the slightest effort, keeps his lightness of heart whatever happens, and, without intending to, acts with kindness toward himself and everyone else. He is who you are once you meet your mind with understanding.
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
Every no I say is a yes to myself. It feels right to me. People don’t have to guess what I want or don’t want, and I don’t need to pretend. When you’re honest about your yeses and noes, it’s easy to live a kind life. People come and go in my life when I tell the truth, and they would come and go if I didn’t tell the truth. I have nothing to gain one way, and everything to gain the other way. I don’t leave myself guessing or guilty.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
When you start to find genuine love, the ways you used to manipulate people to get what you thought was love suddenly become clear and obvious. You might expect this to be embarrassing; in fact, it’s often funny, and you find that it’s easy to forgive yourself for your own humanity. You realize that the old ways of seeking approval were just a misunderstanding that has been cleared up now, and you are grateful for that. I sent out an e-mail asking how inquiry had worked for people. The replies kept coming in, five hundred pages of them. As I read, I was moved by how much people had suffered, in so many different ways, and by the delight they took in waking up from the dream of what they thought was happening in their lives and seeing what was really happening. Inquiry seemed like a magic realm that they could come home to after a long, amazing journey, a house where they could sit around the fire, telling tales of danger overcome, and laughing with old friends. When you don’t believe your stressful thoughts, all that’s left are love and laughter.
Byron Katie (I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead)
I've heard people say that they cling to their painful thoughts because they're afraid that without them they wouldn't be activists for peace. "If I feel peaceful", they say, "why would I bother taking action at all?" My answer is "Because that's what love does." To think that we need sadness or outrage to motivate us to do what's right is insane. As if the clearer and happier you get, the less kind you become. As if when someone finds freedom, she just sits around all day with drool running down her chin. My experience is the opposite. Love is action.
Byron Katie
If my child has died, that’s the way of it. Any argument with that brings on internal hell. “She died too soon.” “I didn’t get to see her grow up.” “I could have done something to save her.” “I was a bad mother.” “God is unjust.” But her death is reality. No argument in the world can make the slightest dent in what has already happened. Prayer can’t change it, begging and pleading can’t change it, punishing yourself can’t change it, and your will has no power at all. You do have the power, though, to question your thought, turn it around, and find three genuine reasons why the death of your child is equal to her not dying, or even better in the long run, both for her and for you. This takes a radically open mind, and nothing less than an open mind is creative enough to free you from the pain of arguing with what is. An open mind is the only way to peace. As long as you think that you know what should and shouldn’t happen, you’re trying to manipulate God. This is a recipe for unhappiness.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
If your daughter kills herself, whose business is that? When you think you know what’s best for her, it’s not love. How can you know what’s best for her? How can you know that life would be better for her than death? You would deprive her of her whole path. Who do you think you are? There’s no respect there. If my daughter is going to take her life and I know about it, I’m going to speak to her and offer myself in whatever way she thinks would be useful. And if she has killed herself, I’m not going to think, Sweetheart, you should have stayed here for my sake. I know you were suffering abominably, but you really should have stayed here and suffered so that I wouldn’t feel terrible. Is that love? Do you really want her to live in the torture chamber of her own mind? When our suffering gets too intense, we can inquire, and if we don’t have inquiry, some of us just knock out our painful thoughts with a gun or pills or whatever it takes, but we have to shut this system down. And it’s hell to open your eyes in the morning when you have this painful thought system going.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
凱蒂(Byron Katie)的著作《一念之轉:四句話改變你的人
許瑞云 (走出傷痛 破繭重生: 哈佛醫師心能量 啟動內在療癒力 (Traditional Chinese Edition))
ella misma te lo diga? ¿Puedes tener la seguridad de que comprende con claridad sus propios pensamientos y emociones? ¿Te has sentido alguna vez confundida respecto a quién o qué provoca tu enfado? ¿Tienes la absoluta certeza de que es verdad que Paul está enfadado contigo? Demos un paso más. ¿Tienes la absoluta certeza de que te sientes herida porque Paul está enfadado? ¿El enfado de Paul está ocasionándote en verdad un dolor? ¿Sería posible para ti, con otro estado mental, presenciar la explosión de la ira de Paul y no verlo como algo personal? ¿Qué pasaría si pudieses sencillamente escuchar, recibiendo con tranquilidad y afecto todo lo que te diga? Tras la indagación, eso es lo que yo experimenté.
Byron Katie (Amar lo que es)
referente a la realidad, no hay ningún «debería ser». Sólo hay lo que es, de la manera que es y en este mismo momento. La verdad es anterior a cualquier historia. Y cualquier historia, antes de la investigación, nos impide ver lo que es verdad.
Byron Katie (Amar lo que es)
As speaker and author Byron Katie asks, “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” When you see your incredible self, you won’t feel like your worth lies outside of you and you’ll also be more likely to keep good company.
Jenny Taitz (How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate)
A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
The world is your perception of it. Inside and outside always match—they are reflections of each other.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
It’s not you that people like or dislike; it’s their stories of you. They
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: Finding Freedom in a World of Suffering)
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, Byron Katie
Jen Sincero (You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life)
Mind’s job is to be right, and it can justify itself faster than the speed of light. Stop the portion of your thinking that is the source of your fear, anger, sadness, or resentment by transferring it to paper.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
El sufrimiento es una alarma natural que nos alerta de que nos estamos apegando a un pensamiento; cuando no escuchamos, llegamos a aceptar ese sufrimiento como una parte inevitable de la vida, pero no lo es.
Byron Katie (Amar lo que es)
Children don’t know these things. So we begin now. That’s what I love about this Work—we can write from a three-year-old perspective if we need to. It’s timeless.
Byron Katie (Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie)
El mundo es tu percepción de él. Lo interior y lo exterior siempre se corresponden: el uno refleja al otro. El mundo es el reflejo de tu mente. Si experimentas caos y confusión en tu interior, tu mundo exterior tiene que reflejarlo. Tienes que ver lo que crees, porque eres el pensador confundido que mira hacia fuera y se ve a sí mismo. Eres el intérprete de todo, y si eres caótico, lo que oyes y lo que ves tiene que ser un caos.
Byron Katie (Amar lo que es)
En el otoño, no te afliges porque las hojas se caen y se mueren. Dices: «¡Qué bonito!». Bueno, nosotros somos iguales. Hay estaciones. Todos nos caemos más tarde o más temprano. Todo es muy bonito. Y si no investigamos, nuestros conceptos nos impiden darnos cuenta de ello. Es bonito ser una hoja, nacer, caer, dejar paso a lo que sigue, convertirse en alimento para las raíces. Es la vida, siempre cambiando de forma y siempre entregándose por entero. Todos hacemos nuestra parte. No hay error.
Byron Katie (Amar lo que es)
El sufrimiento está causado por un apego a una creencia profundamente fijada. Es un estado en el que se produce un apego ciego a algo que uno cree que es verdad.
Byron Katie (Amar lo que es)
I knew I wasn't dealing with a person; I was dealing with concepts, and once I investigated the concepts about my mother, I had unraveled all my concepts about everyone and everything.
Byron Katie (A Mind At Home With Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
Well, sweetheart, it’s the last place we look—to ourselves. This is a surgery. We go in and get it all.
Byron Katie (Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie)
Every problem perceived to be ‘out there’ is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.” Byron Katie, from Loving What Is
Rhonda Byrne (The Greatest Secret)
Everything happens for me, not to me.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
ARTHUR: I want me to stop attacking my mother. I want me to accept her, love her, and embrace her as good enough for me. KATIE: Yes, sweetheart. That’s your prescription for
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
ARTHUR: I don’t want her to stop attacking me. I don’t want her to accept me, love me, and embrace me as good enough. Well, yeah. Why should she? KATIE: And when you consider how you behaved on that phone call, how could she? ARTHUR: Oh, gross. Yeah, I agree. KATIE: Stay in the situation; otherwise you’ll generalize and turn this onto yourself and start to feel guilt. In that situation, “I don’t want her to do all those things, when I consider my part.” ARTHUR: Why would she? Yeah. That’s true.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
You can argue with the way things are. You’ll lose, but only 100% of the time.
Byron Katie
Byron Katie’s non-profit system “The Work”. I
Jonathan Heston (The Unlimited Self: Destroy Limiting Beliefs, Uncover Inner Greatness, and Live the Good Life)
Kérdés: Mit ért az alatt, hogy ön az én kivetülésem? Válasz: A világ olyan, amilyennek látja. A külső és belső mindig egybevág, mivel egymás tükörképei. A külvilág tudatunk visszfénye. Akinek a bensőjében káosz és zűrzavar uralkodik, annak a külső élete is visszatükrözi ezt. Az embernek látnia is kell, amiben hisz, hisz olyan zavaros fejű gondolkodó, aki a külvilágba kitekintve önmagát látja viszont. Mindent megmagyaráz és értelmez. Amennyiben belső világa kaotikus, az is annak tetszik, amit lát és hall. Ön akkor is csak zavaros szavakat hallana, ha történetesen maga Jézus vagy Buddha állna ön előtt, mivel zavaros tudattal hallgatná a világ tanítóit. Mindössze azt hallaná meg, amit felvetése szerint mondanak, s amint fenyegetve érezné a sztoriját, menten vitába is szállna velük. Ami azt illeti, én is az ön kivetülése vagyok, hogyan másként kerülhetnék ide? Ez ügyben nincs szabad választásom. Az önmagamról gyártott kitaláció vagyok, nem valódi lényegem. Ön engem öregnek vagy fiatalnak, szépnek vagy csúnyának, becsületesnek vagy becstelennek, gondosnak vagy gondatlannak lát. Az ön számára létezem, hogy az ön megemésztetlen gondolatait, külön bejáratú mítoszát igazoljam. Megértem, hogy az ön szempontjából igaz, amit belőlem felfog. Jómagam is ilyen hiszékeny és becsapható voltam, de csupán negyvenhárom éven keresztül, egészen addig, amíg rá nem ébredtem a valóságra. "Ez egy fa. Ez egy asztal. Ez egy szék." Igaz ez? Abbahagyta már önmaga faggatását? Elcsendesedett-e belül annyira, hogy meghallja a tulajdon kérdésfelvetését? Ki mondta, hogy a fa tényleg fa? Ki ruházta fel a fa-lét tulajdonságaival? Honnan volt olyan biztos a dolgában? Az én egész életem és énképem egy gyermek bizalmán és semmit sem kérdező ártatlanságán alapult egy ideig. Ön is ilyen gyermek? A Munka elvégeztével félreteszi majd a játékait meg a tündérmeséit, és elkezdi olvasni az igazi tudás könyvét, amely önmagáról szól.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Az egész az önismeretről, nem pedig a változtatásról szól. A világ olyan, amilyennek látjuk. Az én szememben a világosság és a szépség egy. Olyan, mint én. Amikor világos a tudatom, csupa szépséget látok magam körül. Semmi más nem lehetséges. Tiszta tudat leszek, amely felfogja a gondolatokat, és minden más ebből következik. Mintha csak egy új naprendszer áradna szét önnön gyönyörűségéből. Ha ellenben nem gondolkodom világosan, minden őrültségemet rávetítem a világra. Csodá csodája, a világ is őrült helynek tűnik majd, én meg azt hiszem, hogy ez itt a gond. Évezredek óta bajmolódunk kivetítésekkel, ahelyett hogy a vetítőkészülékre figyelnénk. Ezért látszik olyan zűrzavarosnak az élet, A káosz tanítja a káoszt, hogyan változtasson önmagán, és közben nem veszi észre, hogy hátrafelé haladunk. Ne mondjunk hát le a látszatvilágban uralkodó káoszra és szenvedésre vonatkozó gondolatainkról! Nem is tudnánk megszabadulni tőlük, hiszen nem mi hívtuk életre ezeket. Ám amikor megértéssel közeledünk gondolatainkhoz, a világ másik arcát mutatja. Nem is lehet másként, hiszen az egész világ csak a képzeletünk szüleménye. Mi magunk vagyunk a világ.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine!
Byron Katie
Játsszunk el a következő kijelentéssel: "Sértve érzem magam, mivel Paul dühös rám." Önök talán már meg is feleltek erre magukban: "Igen, ez igaz. Paul dühös rám. Az arca pulykavörös, a nyakán vadul lüktet egy ér, és torka szakadtából üvöltözik velem." Ennyi bizonyíték csak elég! De nézzenek most újra magukba! Tényleg tudják-e, hogy önökre haragszik Paul? Valóban meg tudják-e mondani, mi játszódik le egy másik ember fejében? Meg tudják-e ítélni az arckifejezéséből vagy a testbeszédéből, mit gondol és érez valójában? Nem éreztek-e már önök is félelmet vagy haragot, hogy azután az első, útjukba eső emberre rázúdítsák ezeket az indulatokat? Meg tudják-e ítélni teljes bizonyossággal embertársaik érzéseit, még ha szavakba is öntik? Biztosak lehetnek-e abban, hogy az illető tisztában van a saját gondolataival és érzéseivel? Önök talán nem zavarodtak-e össze néha, hogy a végén már nem is tudták, kire vagy mire haragszanak voltaképpen? Tényleg tudják-e, hogy Paul az, akire haragszanak? Egy lépéssel továbbgondolva a dolgot: Valóban sértve érzik-e magukat Paul dühöngése miatt? Paul haragja okozza-e sérelmeiket? Nem képzelhető-e el, hogy amennyiben más lelkiállapotban találja önöket, közönyösen lesöprik magukról? Mi volna, ha egyszerűen csak meghallgatnák Paul dühöngését, majd nyugodtan és szeretetteljesen fogadnák a mondottakat? Engem legalábbis erre tanított meg az önismeret.
Byron Katie
The Work. Created by Byron Katie, teacher and author of Loving What Is, The Work is a process that involves four questions for unmasking and reprogramming our obstructions. The
Barnet Bain (The Book of Doing and Being: Rediscovering Creativity in Life, Love, and Work)
10.I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business.
Mark Givens (Byron Katie: Lessons Learned From Byron Katie And The Work (Byron Katie The Work, Byron Katie, Byron Katie Books))
It’s a lot easier to make money from this position. Byron Katie Work and Money
Steve Chandler (Wealth Warrior: The Personal Prosperity Revolution)
Az önismeret a legjobb dolog a világon. Arra tanít, hgoy vállaljunk teljes felelősséget önmagunkért, mert így találunk rá a szabadságunkra. Ahelyett, hogy kívül keressük az üdvösséget, magunkban leljük meg azt. Önök is követhetik a példánkat. Az emberek többsége nem tudja, hogyan változzon vagy bocsásson meg, hogyan legyen őszinte. Ilyenkor valamiféle mintára várnak. Nos, ön is ilyen példa lehet. Ön saját maga egyetlen reménysége, s mások is csak azután változnak meg, ha önnek sikerült. Az a dolgunk, hogy a lehető legkeményebben zaklassuk önt, hogy felháborodjon, bedühödjön, vagy undorodjon, mígnem végül megérti, miről van szó. Mérhetetlenül szeretjük önt, akár tudatában vagyunk ennek, akár nem. Az egész világ ön körül forog.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
The more clearly you understand yourself and your emotions, the more you become a lover of what is. Baruch Spinoza
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
Enlightenment is as close to you as your own most troubling thought.
Byron Katie
Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.
Byron Katie
When you act like a teacher, it's usually because you're afraid to be the student.
Byron Katie
The Reality Check. The most direct challenge to an anxious thought is a reality check: “Let’s check that thought against what’s true.” Don’t impose your picture of reality on your children, because that just makes them defensive. Instead, invite them to take a closer look at reality themselves. I like to use two questions I learned from the self-help author Byron Katie: “Is it true? Can you be absolutely sure it’s true?” You may not agree with your child’s answer. That’s okay. Don’t argue.
Lawrence J. Cohen (The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears)
Nothing external can disturb us. We suffer only when we want things to be different from what they are.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
My love is my business; it has nothing to do with you. You love me, and that isn’t personal. You tell the story that I am this, or I am that, and you fall in love with your story. What do I have to do with it? I am here for your perception, as if I had a choice. I am your story, no more and no less. You have never met me. No one has ever met anyone.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
Forgiveness is discovering that what you thought happened, didn’t—that there was never anything to forgive
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
Whose business are my children? Their business! When we’re mentally out of our children’s business, we have a shot at happiness, and so do they, because finally there’s an example in the house.
Byron Katie (Question Your Thinking, Change the World)
I cannot need what I don’t have, so I always have everything I need, and everyone does.
Byron Katie
We always know what we’re supposed to be doing – we’re doing it.
Byron Katie
Everything happens at exactly the right moment.
Byron Katie
When you think that people should be kind to you, the reverse is true: You should be kind to them and to yourself
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of the victim; that you are suffering in paradise.
Mark Givens (Byron Katie: Lessons Learned From Byron Katie And The Work (Byron Katie The Work, Byron Katie, Byron Katie Books))
All the advice you ever gave your partner is for you to hear.
Mark Givens (Byron Katie: Lessons Learned From Byron Katie And The Work (Byron Katie The Work, Byron Katie, Byron Katie Books))
Peace does not require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there.
Mark Givens (Byron Katie: Lessons Learned From Byron Katie And The Work (Byron Katie The Work, Byron Katie, Byron Katie Books))
distinguish differences, and through these differences and the textures, I see everything I need to see in order to find my clothes. I feel my way to the bathroom, find the toothpaste and toothbrush, and squeeze the tube. Ooh! I’ve squeezed a huge gob of toothpaste onto the bristles, which brings a smile to my face: it seems that my teeth needed some extra help this morning. Then I step into the shower. It’s tricky to understand the differences in bathroom fixtures, where the hot water is, which direction to turn the lever, how
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
last,
Byron Katie (A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are)
People used to ask me if I was enlightened, and I would say, “I don’t know anything about that. I’m just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered,” Katie says, “but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
Katie: Yes. Keep it simple, and just turn it around. Charles: I need Deborah to … Katie: “I need me …” Charles: I need me to love myself as I am, warts and all. I haven’t been loving myself that way. But I’m starting to. Katie: And it’s the story you tell of the wart that keeps you from loving it. The wart just waits for a sane mind to see it clearly. It doesn’t do any harm. It’s just there like … like a leaf on a tree. You don’t argue with a leaf and say, “Yo! Let’s talk. Look at your shape. You need to do something about it.
Byron Katie (Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life)
I use the word to mean a natural state of peace and clarity.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
As I often say, if you argue with reality, you lose—but only 100 percent of the time.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
learn how to call the free Do The Work helpline;
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
There’s no light, no up or down, no possibility of movement, no anything. There’s nothing, forever, with no way out. I felt such terror.
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
I’m sorry I did this to you. It’s all my fault. What can I do to make it right?
Byron Katie (A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around)
Byron Katie found herself at the lowest point of her life, abandoned at a halfway house by a family who lost all hope for her.
Ken Dickson (Detour from Normal)