Bridget Jones Mad About The Boy Quotes

You see, things being good has nothing to do with how you feel outside, it is all to do with how you are inside.

Call me old-fashioned, but I did read in Glamour that one’s shorts should always be longer than one’s vagina.

We cannot avoid pain, we cannot avoid loss. Contentment comes from the ease and flexibility with which we move through change.

I made my excuses and left, thinking, really, after a certain age, people are just going to do what they're going to do and you're either going to accept them as they are or you're not.

When he's hot, he's hot; when he's not, he's not. But at least there is always food

I am brave, though I am alone.

Why does turning on a TV these days require three remotes with ninety buttons? Why?

Maybe will go to yoga and become more flexible. Or maybe will go out with friends and get plastered.

I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.

But the thing about having kids is: you can’t go to pieces; you just have to keep going.

As Oscar Wilde says, thirty-five is the perfect age for a woman, so much so that many women have decided to adopt it for the rest of their lives.

barometer of success in later life is not that they always win, but how they deal with failure. An ability to pick themselves up when they fall, retaining their optimism and sense of self, is a far greater predictor of future success than class position in Year 3.

...he picked me up in his arms, as if I was as light as a feather, which I am not, unless it was a very heavy feather, maybe from a giant prehistoric dinosaur-type bird...

Roxster, my photo is of an egg.

HARHARBLOODY HAR. Put that in your pipe hole and smoke it, society!

Should Never,Ever have got involved with Men again. Had completely forgotten the nightmare of 'Why hasn't he called

Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine year old off Twitter on the second date is not 'rather like in Jane Austen's day'." (Talitha)

We've been texting for weeks. Surely it's rather like in Jane Austen's day when they did letter-writing for months and months and then just, like, immediately got married?' 'Bridget. Sleeping with a twenty-nine-year-old off Twitter on the second date is not "rather like Jane Austen's day".

On the night bus, I felt as though parts of other people were going into parts of me I didn’t even know existed. I felt like I was being more intimate with members of the night-bus community than I’d ever been with anyone in my whole life.

One has to be in control, otherwise the whole dynamic becomes a total disaster.

Age of rationing ended some time ago and is now space rather than possessions which is in short supply.

The skin around my eyes was becoming, even as I watched, a mass of wrinkles; chin and jowls were sagging, neck like a turkey, marionette lines rushing from my mouth to my chin in manner of Angela Merkel. As I stared I could almost seamy hair turning into a tight grey perm. It had finally happened. I was an old lady.

Why are bodies so difficult to manage? Why? ‘Oh, oh, look at me, I’m a body, I’m going to splurge fat unless you, like, STARVE yourself and go to undignified TORTURE CENTRES and don’t eat anything nice or get drunk.’ Hate diet.

A woman has her needs. What good is a mother to her poor children if she's suffering from low self-esteem and sexual frustration? If you don't get laid soon, you will literally close up. More importantly, you will shrivel. And you will become bitter.

10.35 p.m. Just pressssd d SEND. Issfineisn’ tit. DO NOT TEXT WHEN DRUNK

It was technological and black and thin and therefore Evil, but... it was also a book.

Clearly in textbook terms, the gentleman should text the lady first after intercourse, but perhaps the whole socio-etiquettical system breaks down when an insect plague is involved.

However, on glimpsing in shop window realized outfit insane. Now am on bus, remember also that corset-ike nature of dress is torture when sitting down. One's rolls of fat are squezzed together like dough being kneaded in a food processor.

THEY ARE CHILDREN!’ Mr Wallaker roared. ‘They are not corporate products! What they need to acquire is not a constant massaging of the ego, but confidence, fun, affection, love, a sense of self-worth. They need to understand, now, that there will always – always – be someone greater and lesser than themselves, and that their self-worth lies in their contentment with who they are, what they are doing and their increasing competence in doing it.

sententiously,

Ce qui est un vrai succès dans la vie d’adulte, ce n’est pas de gagner tout le temps, mais d’être capable de gérer l’échec.

Trentaine : Les hommes sont en position de pouvoir. Je pense sincèrement que la trentaine est l’âge le pire pour une femme côté rencontres : le tic-tac de l’horloge biologique très injuste se fait entendre de plus en plus fort.

Just back from canal ride on bike. Went really well until someone threw an egg at me from a bridge. Or maybe it was a bird which went into sudden labour. Will clean off egg, not do Boris Bikes any more and go to Obesity Clinic on bus. At least will be alive and clean when sitting on arse instead of dead and covered in egg.

I explained my whole theory about parenting being better if it was like a large Italian family having dinner under a tree while children play. Rebecca poured more wine and explained her theory of child-rearing, which is that you should behave as badly as possible so that the children will rebel against you and turn out like Saffron in Absolutely Fabulous.

C'est horrible de remarquer la différence de regard que les gens portent sur vous quand vous êtes grosse et quand vous ne l'êtes pas, quand vous êtes toute pomponnée et quand vous êtes juste normale. Pas étonnant que les femmes soient aussi peu sûres d'elles.

it’s a bit like if we were on a planet where all the space creatures were short, green and fat. Except a very few of them were tall, thin and yellow. And all the advertising was of the tall, yellow ones, airbrushed to make them even taller and yellower. So all the little green space creatures spent their whole time feeling sad because they weren’t tall, thin and yellow.

Just … in … a meeting!” How could I be in a meeting, and yet talking on the phone saying I’m in a meeting? People’s assistants are meant to say they’re in a meeting, not the person themself, who is supposed to be unable to say anything because they’re in the meeting.

The meeting, as usual, is ‘exploratory’, like at the dentist when you know you’re going to end up being drilled.