“
Laughing with blood relatives
amidst memorable melodies
in the background, styrofoam
plate in hand, topped with
foods that restaurants can’t
duplicate, it hit me:
I don’t belong here.
Staring at an unbelievable
sunrise from a balcony villa
in Tanzania, it hit me:
I don’t belong here.
Recognized and awarded for
notable news journalism, a few
semesters away from achieving
a prestigious degree decorated
with promised opportunities,
it hit me: I don’t belong here.
Hoping quietly for the best, to
“win my husband over” with
traditional submission,
more frequent sex,
and minimized speech,
it hit me: I don’t belong here.
Walking down a dusty
Egyptian street filled with
the welcoming laughter of
carefree children, it hit me:
I don’t belong here.
Sitting in a church pew
notating another good
message, clapping to some
of my favorite songs, and
then exiting to talk with
familiar faces, it hit me:
I don’t belong here.
Communing with those who
know who the “real chosen”
are, beholding their unknown
names unmasked, and secret
knowledges revealed
to ponder incessantly,
it hit me: I don’t belong here.
Placed underneath the
wanting body of a rare man
who showed me
unprecedented love,
it hit me: I don’t belong here.
My soul.
My mind.
My body.
Each malnourished.
My community.
My life purpose.
Both misplaced.
All starving for home.
So, I moved. Not to what looks
and feels good for them, but to
what
”
”