Bacteria Funny Quotes

What a funny turn of phrase, she thought. Licking your wounds would only make them worse, no? The mouth was filled with so much bacteria. But Sadie knew it was easy to get addicted to the taste of your own carnage.

Here’s the weird part: even when I was in the darkest and most despairing times of my depression, I still found depression funny. It was funny to me that the illness distorted my view of the real world like a funhouse mirror. It was funny that I could be immobilized by something that had no basis in a broken bone or bacteria or any tangible factor. And when other people, especially comedians and writers, shared their experiences with depression and those experiences were resonant with my own, I could laugh because we were all getting fooled together. I laughed in the same way an audience laughs at a particularly good trick pulled off by a magician. “We’ve all been deceived, but we don’t know how!

Generally, obsessively, licking her wounds. What a funny turn of phrase, she thought. Licking your wounds would only make them worse, no? The mouth was filled with so much bacteria.

Scottish scientist, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin by accident. One Monday morning in 1928, one of his cultures of staphylococcus aureus had been contaminated by a fungus peculium, which seemed to have killed all the staph bacteria. He remarked aloud, "That's funny.

What had she been doing? {...] Generally, obsessively, licking her wounds. What a funny turn of phrase, she thought. Licking your wounds would only make them worse, no? The mouth was filled with so much bacteria. But Sadie knew it was easy to get addicted to the taste of your own carnage.

He is chained to the book, or it is chained to him. It is a book of many pages. It cannot be stolen; he cannot give it away. It contains your life. Every detail of your life. Everything that has happened to you. Everything that will happen one day. The things you've forgotten. The things you don't believe. It contains everything that has happened, or will happen, to anyone you've ever met. Anyone you've ever heard of. Anyone you've never heard of. The histories and the dreams and triumphs of the dead are there. The meaning of the patterns of the spots of each leopard is written there, along with the truth of the shapes of clouds, and the strange, funny song-lives of the bacteria-folk and the secrets the wind whispers when there is no one there to listen. Everything is in there, from the beginning of time to the end. He did not create the path you walk. But the movements of atoms and galaxies are in his book, and he sees little difference between them. It is all in his book. One day he will lay it down, when the book is done, and what comes after that is still unwritten. A page turns. Destiny continues to walk... He is holding a book. Inside the book is the Universe.

Overproduction of gas is not a pleasant thing—it bloats the gut, making us feel uncomfortable—but passing a bit of wind is not only necessary, it is healthy, too. We are living creatures with a miniature world living inside us, working away and producing many things. Just as we release exhaust fumes into the Earth’s atmosphere, so must our microbes, too. It may make a funny sound and it may smell a bit, but not necessarily. Bifidobacteria and Lactobacilli, for instance, do not produce any unpleasant odors. People who never need to break wind are starving their gut bacteria and are not good hosts for their microbe guests. Pure prebiotics can be bought at

What do you think of this stuff?’ he asked. I looked at the bottle and discovered that it contained a miracle udder liniment, guaranteed to reduce pain and swelling. ‘I’ve seen the ad in the Dairy Exporter, but that’s about it,’ I said. ‘Does it work?’ Personally I doubted that it would, since it’s a bit of a stretch to ask something you rub on the skin to kill the bacteria lurking in the tissues ten centimetres down, but I had learnt through bitter experience that belittling someone’s pet alternative treatment is almost as offensive as telling them their kid looks funny. (My all-time low was attending a cat after-hours wearing a T-shirt which read Homeopathy, making damn-all difference since 1796, and then learning that the cat’s owner was a certified homeopath.)